this is what made me realise it needs to get better

ratpile  asked:

Dear Dr Ferox, In a lecture today I was told that a good vet, and one less likely to grow disillusioned by their job, is one who knows when they've done all they can, and who realises that a vet can only advise; it's clients that make decisions. I get this, but struggle to agree with it. My duty of care is to the animal, and advising an owner on the best thing to do does not equal *actually* doing something to improve an animal's life. Do you have any advice for detaching in this way? Thank you.

First let me preface by saying that it’s fine to feel whatever you feel about situations animals may find themselves in. Trying to suppress your feelings wont do you any good psychologically, but I understand what your lecturer means.

There are points, and there are many of them in veterinary medicine, where choices need to be made. Sometimes there is a choice that is obviously better than the others. Sometimes there is not.

A veterinarian has to present these options to the owner of the animal. A veterinarian does not get to choose.

Most human being want to be decent. If you give them all the options, they want to choose one of the better ones. Many are limited in one way or another though, either financially, physically or practically. Very few set out to be deliberately assholes.

Sometimes those humans, for whatever reason, will not allow you to do everything that’s in the best interest of the animal. If you are aware of their limitations then often  you can find a decent compromise, but sometimes you cannot.

There is a physical limit to what you, yourself, can do. You can’t go driving round to someone’s house unannounced because they didn’t bring their pet in for a follow up and stopped answering your calls. You can’t kidnap an animal to treat it. You can’t ‘pretend’ to put an animal to sleep and hide it from its owners.

You can, however, report them to the relevant authorities who do have those legal powers.

It’s not that you can’t do something to help that animal, it’s that you have been prevented from helping that animal. That karmic load belongs to the owners, not to you. Especially if you have provided them multiple options for getting treatment.

It’s sort of like in shelter medicine. Veterinarians put down lots of dogs and cats in shelters, many of which are perfectly nice, but have just run out of time. A member of the general public might cry about how could they possibly do that if they love animals. Why don’t they do X or Y instead, or adopt the animal themselves? Never mind the fact that the vet’s household is probably already full, or it soon would be, or the sheer number of animals they’re recommending be ‘rescued’ this way, or that it’s one tiny step away from an animal hoarding situation.

People who understand the industry don’t blame the vets putting these animals to sleep. Euthanasia may not be the very best of all the possible outcomes those animals could have had, but it’s the best choice left out of their options at that time.

The blame is shifted instead to the people who put those animals into those positions in the first place; puppy farms, backyard breeders, thoughtless owners, etc.

There is a difference between all that could have been done and what you as one, single human can do now.

It’s not a bad thing to want to be responsible for the whole world, but it’s easy to burn out that way. You need to know when you’ve done all you can, and when to call somebody else. That other person may be a fellow vet, or a specialist, or an animal welfare inspector. There are just some things that are beyond our control.

And whatever happens you have to be able to get up the next morning and tackle the next problem.


21-03-17, 21/31. One 2017 study resolution

As this year is my first year with actual exams, my resolution was to get my head down and work for what I need. My ultimate goal would be Oxford, for which I need 3 A-Levels in science/maths subjects at A*/A/A, and there no requirement for GCSE but I’d stand out more with better GCSE’s and in any case, I want to achieve for myself. I was always achieving for my parents, teachers, the expectations people had of me etc. and never for myself, but I realised that to really do well I have to want to do well for nobody other than myself, so I do.

(That made no sense but in short: I’m determined and independent (??))


anonymous asked:

So after watching the panel, getting my book signed, getting my question chosen when the ladies were on Virgin radio last week and listening to what JN had to say about not being able to carry on in her job I quit my teaching job today...I had no idea all these events would have such a profound effect on me but they have. My job was constantly on my mind, making my anxiety disorder so much work and effecting how I was with my kids. I wonder if they realise just how inspiring they are..

Wow! That’s an important decision you made. I hope it’ll make you feel better and I’m sure Gillian and Jennifer would be proud of you for doing what you feel right and stand up for your needs. Congrats! I wish you the best! <3


So much of this website is  “Haha that relatable feeling when you go from completely emotionally numb to TOO MUCH FEELINGS SUDDENLY am I right???” Like that’s a fucking trauma symptom? Like even doing a shitty self help book is better than sitting back and letting yourself get worse.

I started therapy and now I can’t fucking handle most of tumblr, you realise that the shit you normalize isn’t ok, right? Like you’re hurt and need to acknowledge that and heal? Jesus christ.

And when you have a SERIOUS issue and you downplay it that hard it’s like– what about the people that only have mild trauma symptoms? It’s ruining their whole life but everyone is normalizing this behaviour. It scares me.

There are kids on this site with trauma symptoms left right and center not getting help because there’s a cesspool of people here that have taken it from “connect with people who have been through similar traumatic events” and made it ND is beautiful fuck getting help.

Whaat the fuuuck.

anonymous asked:

Is Lexa realising her fault in the divorce?Not just blaming herself for loosing the child but for shutting down completely from Clarke for such a long time and not showing any indication it could ever change ? Also, I didn't expect it but it made so much sense for Lexa to secretly despise Clarke for being able to do what she couldn't.

So far, she’s pretty much in the mindset that “I did what I had to do to recover, I needed time alone, Clarke should have waited for me if she loved me”. She’s still hurt, and it’s not easy to see one’s own faults. (So far. It gets better.)

And that sentence from Clarke was a)such a low blow tbh, and b)so painful bc it was true. A part of Lexa did resent Clarke for being so affected by the miscarriage, bc she couldnt actually know what Lexa felt. (As a woman who’d just gone through a miscarriage). And the other part of Lexa was also hurt that they’d both lost their baby because of her, so she felt guilty and sad in front of Clarke. Pretty much all her bad feelings revolved around the miscarriage/their marriage/Clarke, so that pull she usually has to pull away from people to deal with things on her own was magnified x10.


Because progress pictures don’t need befores and afters, have four photos of me feeling really bloody good about myself.

In the past few weeks my face and body and general image probably hasn’t changed very much at all, but in the past pew weeks I feel like I’ve probably made the best progress I ever have within my recovery. Two years since hospital. One year since I decided getting healthy was for me. A few weeks since I realised what full recovery could actually give me.

I’m never going to be the best, skinniest, prettiest, [insert superlative adjective here], person in the world but I’m always going to be me. People will come and go (some I hope will stick around for a little longer than other (some already have)) and they’ll change the way I think and feel and act. They’ll be the most important people in my life and hopefully make me a better person as a whole.

I’m still not sure what this summer has in store for me but I’m hopeful it’s going to be one of the best ones yet and I’m determined that food isn’t going to get in the way of that.

Thank you for sticking with me when I’ve been hopeless and quiet and absent and trying to focus on other parts of my life.

All my love. xx

[Wednesday, August 17th 2016]

I didn’t study today, which made me feel guilty. I could make a lot of excuses here to make me feel better, but I’m hoping that I’ll just accept the fact that tomorrow will be a better day.

I wanted to write this list though because motivation is a thing and for someone who doesn’t know what she wants to do in the future, I need to remember why I want to study and get good grades in the first place. I realise some points could be controversial - this list is specifically geared towards me, so please don’t be offended by anything!

I spent months running scared, always searching, always hunting for another you. After a while I realised I had been looking for the wrong thing all along: it wasn’t another you I wanted. I wanted something better. I wanted a version of you, yes. An echo of what you made me feel at the beginning. A shadow of what we used to have. But another version of you wouldn’t get me anywhere. So I stopped searching. I’d need someone that would treat me better than you ever have. And that someone I needed was myself.
—  //because finding someone who is just like you will not make me feel better. It’ll make me feel worse. And I won’t rush. I will take my time to heal.
evening thoughts #35
Words to Live By

I binge watched all of @smartgirlsattheparty‘s Ask Amy videos (again), so I wrote down some of my favourite things that Amy said ~

1. “Vulnerable people are powerful people.”

2. “Silence and quiet is really important in our lives.”

3. “Sometimes you’re only a few breaths away from feeling better.”

4. “It’s never over-reacting to ask for what you want and need.”

5. “Crying gets the sadness out.”

6. “Feeling your feelings isn’t something you have to make apologies for.”

No. 6 really made an impact on me because this year has really pushed me to learn about who I am and who I want to be, and I’m finally starting to realise that it’s okay to feel my feelings, I don’t need to be ashamed of them and now I’ve been embracing them! Thank you Smart Girls and Amy Poehler for everything!

Now that the summer’s here, and I’ve only got two more weeks at TBOM, I think I’ll be spending a lot of the summer relaxing. I didn’t really celebrate my birthday apart from having a couple of drinks and cupcakes this year and that made me realise how much I need to relax. But that’s not to say I can’t join in on anyone else’s plans. Speaking of plans - what’s everyone else doing for the summer?