Can we p l e a s e talk about how this band deserves way more appreciation and recognition? If you’ve never heard their name before, now you have no excuse cause imma tell you all about them. By the time I’m done I’m sure you’ll adore them as much as I do.
So, a bit of context for starters: ‘I Don’t Know How But They Found Me’ is an American duo, composed by lead singer and bassist Dallon Weekes, and Ryan Seaman on the drums and backing vocals.
The main concept behind this project portrays IDKHBTFM as a “band out of time”, as explained on their website: “One who faded away into obscurity after struggling to find success in the late 70’s and early 80’s. Only recently, the internet has begun to uncover the performances and recordings of a band that the world wasn’t ready for. Perhaps the world is ready now…”
If you were to ask me to explain why I love them so much, there’s of course tons of reasons. They’re kind people. They’re exceptionally talented musicians, yet down-to-earth and humble individuals. They have the courage to pursue their dream, no matter how hard to achieve it may seem. They keep their live performances simple and focus on the music itself. The band’s way to present themselves in social media is pretty cryptic and mysterious, which in my opinion is really clever because it keeps everyone on their toes and paying attention. At least, I know I am.
Sadly, they have yet to release their first album, fact that has thousands of fans - myself included - waiting eager and impatiently. I don’t know what record labels are thinking that they haven’t offered them a deal yet but, c’mon people, wake up!
Anyways, to finish this post I’d like to list a few of my favourite songs on this band’s setlist.
Must include classic live performances opener and unreleased track ‘Nobody Likes The Opening Band’. Played with no background music other than Dallon’s snapping fingers, it serves the purpose of warming up the crowd to start the show. As it is inferred by the title, the song addresses the topic of being an opening band and playing to an audience that usually isn’t interested. Every lyric, despite its simplicity, it’s genius and honestly just so accurate. Things like the line ‘oh unfamiliar things will make us nervous, but singing here for you gives me a purpose’ sang with high pitched and flawless voice move me every time. Follower ‘so… take pity on the opening bands, cause no one came to see them, except their mom and dad’ always makes everyone laugh.
Next is a track that has blown up so quickly, as proven by its over 1.8 million views on YouTube. Choke is the second single that IDK has released, about 2 months ago. I think what captivates the listener is the contradiction between its sound and its lyrics. The first one is upbeat and happy, while the second one is just… creepy. To the point it has made fans wonder who is it about. Sadly Dallon hasn’t spilled the tea on this one, but of course the mystery just adds to it! ;)
An old Brobecks fans favourite that has made it into the setlist is ‘Visitation Of The Ghost’. Its best feature in my opinion is the instrumental part, the always-present drums and the simple bass chord just enhance the beauty of the lyrics and blend perfectly with Weekes’ voice. The way IDK perform it live makes it so special, as they invite a fan to the stage to play the bass while Dallon steps into the crowd to sing the ‘oh my lord’ part right next to them. An unmissable track for sure!
A full video of one of their live presentations can be found right below, in case you’re interested on checking them out further.
I’ll just be over here, looking forward to their album release and patiently awaiting for them to start touring and conquer the planet.
And of course, I wish them nothing but success and all the love in the world!
We all find ourselves in a pinch when studying for a particular subject, or some concepts or just studying in general. And then we play the blame game - I’m stupid, I suck at studying, I dumb, yadda yadda yadda.
But sometimes, the fault isn’t ours. Our study skills are largely influenced by external factors that have nothing to do with our brain (because well all humans have the same brain to begin with, yeah? It’s just some know how to use that thing, and some are still learning how to). So here’s so ways that might help you make the most of all sorts of things that are thrown your way:
Teachers influence our academics deeply and therefore it is important to know how to adjust our methods according to the types of teachers that teach us!
“The best teacher ever”
You love them, and are generally doing well in their class.
They know how to balance the amount of speech and writing part in class just perfectly and their explanations are heavenly.
For their subjects, practice papers are the best because they’ll help you lock all the info in your mind for eternities.
Solve as many tests as you can find, and get all your doubts solved by them at the end and I promise you will never have difficulty with that particular chapter again!
“The I’m-gonna-fill-the-board-with-my-marker teacher”
Doesn’t even bother speaking, just enters the class and starts writing up stuff in the board.
Class is generally noisy because their backs are turned towards you 90% of the time.
Just copy down everything form the board. Don’t leave out a single word.
Review whatever you’ve written once you get home and find out what is it that you don’t understand.
You’re lucky if they teach you math /physics /numericals based topics, because you have an entire guide on how to solve each type of sum with steps and formulas!
Once you’ve marked your doubts, take them to the teacher, or to any other teacher who teaches the same topics and get it cleared. Pretty sure you’ll rock their subject!
Babbles on and on all the time, doesn’t know that the board exists.
Won’t even breathe in between the doesn’t care if nobody is listening - they’ll finish their part at all costs.
Try recording their lectures, you don’t necessarily have to take notes in class.
Once you get home, play the entire lecture and take notes now - you’re most likely to cover all important points.
If there’s something you don’t understand /think you missed, get your doubts solved by them or maybe online. This way you can do some time pass in class while not missing out at the same time!
“The quiz master”
Asks hella lot of questions, engages the class as much as possible.
Best thing to do in their class is to sit in front (it won’t make you a loser really) and listen to their questions carefully, note them down and participate.
Participating will get you noticed and also help build your confidence - and you get to impress the teacher so it’s a win win!
Prepare some questions for them in advance and keep asking, this will create a sense of ‘I’m a good student’ kinda thing in you (trust me I feel like a heavenly potato) and get your queries solved!
There are subjects that you’re so good at you could practically teach them, and then there’s math (no offence, math lovers). And physics. And chemistry. And everything that you don’t know.
Problem solving subjects
Math and physics can be a real pain, but referring to solved examples in your textbook, or your teacher’s solutions makes then 37363x easier.
A list of formulas is a must, I prefer sorting my formulas chapter wise in sticky notes but you can totally make a 'formula + solving methods cheatsheet’ to help for finals!
Practice problems are life savers!! Keep solving until you’re pretty sure you’ll crack these types of questions.
Mostly there is a certain way of solving certain problems, figure out that common way for a bunch of problems and nite the method down. All you need to do during the exam is figure out what type of problem you are dealing with and how to solve it will be known to you automatically!
Find a good teacher - maybe a school teacher, a tutor, a classmate or maybe your dad who happens to be a math expert. You need one person to guide you through the “numerical labyrinth”. There are many awesome people on the Internet (studyblrs I’m looking at y'all) who can help.
“Theory based subjects”
History and essay writing type of subjects can be difficult to tackle, since there’s no logic you need to apply here - they only test your memory half the time.
Bullet points are so helpful when taking notes for such subjects idk I just fall in love with words that are bullet pointed.
Aesthetic note making, embellishments and all that jazz totally works here because the more time you spend with the information, the better you remember it and are able to retain it.
Try recording the lectures and playing them in your free time (as podcasts and all), maybe when cleaning your room or making yourself breakfast or doing mundane chores.
I once slept with my earphones on and was playing 'the French revolution’ and the next day I topped our test on that topic. Now this may not be a legit tip but hey - you’re sleeping. Come on.
“Diagram and sciency subjects”
Most of us consider biology to be our favourite, but fail to do well in it sometimes. This is because we’re studying the whole thing wrongly.
Biology can be a very visual subject so all you artists bring out your creativity!
Imagining the structures of your body, an animal’s body, plant’s body, cell’s body heck any body will help you clarify the concepts in your mind.
Try breaking up large words to understand what they mean. I began learning Latin (and abandoned the effort) to grasp the biological terms better and it helps! Your language is strong - your biology is strong.
Aesthetic notes all the way down!
Chemistry can be made pretty looking with colourful reactions on paper, and there’s always mnemonics to make it fun.
I always try to form mnemonics which reference my favourite songs/dialogue /fandom stuff to spice stuff up. For example, to remember the preference order of functional groups during nomenclature I came up with “PS Sam Winchester Loves Eileen And they go on A date Next friday” (hey spn peeps how’s this?). Write down the first initial of every word you need to remember and come up with combinations, you’ll love it!
“Easy af subjects”
Personality Development and Social Science were these type of subjects for me.
All I did was read through the textbook the night before exams and I’d get a pretty good score.
Tree diagrams and tables often help with these.
Explaining the stuff to someone does the job too!
Three things - Duolingo /memrise /any app, flashcards, YouTube.
Your textbook is likely to have lots of practice activities, solve each one of them.
YouTube will help you with the pronouncing part - check out songs in your target language to improve!
Grammar is important, so you understand your grammar in the beginning and your base is strong.
Come up with terms in your head in your target language, although they’re wrong - there will be a point where you’ll be thinking in that language as a habit.
Don’t be afraid to mispronounce, vomit words as much as possible.
If you don’t have a vocabulary book, make one right away!
Langblrs are so amazing don’t let that resource slip out of your hands!
3. Random tips
Change of environment usually motivate you so keep changing your study space from time to time.
I mentioned this in tags I made earlier but I thought I’d also make a post about how amazing it is that almost every single song from the moment that Phillip Carlyle shows up on his screen is used to propel his relationship with Anne Wheeler forward. As per usual there are a lot of gifs and none of them are mine.
“The Other Side” ends with Phillip literally going to ‘the other side’ and seeing Anne for the first time and falling in love with her at first sight.
Phillip reaches for Anne’s hand during Jenny Lind’s performance of “Never Enough” when Jenny sings “Take my hand/Will you share this with me?”
Phillip drops Anne’s hand when his parents (I think) look at them and Anne responds in “This is Me” by looking up at him, giving him the death glare, and singing “I’m not scared to be seen/ I make no apologies/ this is me”…it’s also interesting to notice that at this moment Anne is on the ground and Phillip is high above her…this is another visual reminder of the social divide between them.
“Rewrite the Stars” sums up their whole relationship and has Phillip trying desperately to be with Anne who is constantly out of his reach and Anne sadly walking away from a possible future with Phillip because she thinks it’s impossible for them to be together.
Anne sings “Rewrite the Stars” to Phillip when she waits at his bedside hoping and praying that he’ll come back to her.
At the end of “From Now On”, Phillip wakes up when the lyrics say “From now on/ from now on/ home again” signifying that they are each other’s home and as long as they have each other they can get through anything and Anne kisses Phillip for the first time.
During the reprise of “The Greatest Show” Anne and Phillip sing, “‘Cause everything you want is right in front of you/ And you see the impossible is coming true/ And the walls can’t stop us (now) now, yeah”. They’re together and they’re happy and what they thought was impossible has become a reality.
I cannot thank Pasek and Paul and the writers of this movie enough for all of the careful thought and planning they did when it came to Anne and Phillip’s romance.
A knock pulls Bucky away from the mirror and to the door. He takes his time unlocking it and pulling it open, unsure of who’s waiting on the other side.
“Are you ready?” Steve fiddles with his tie, not bothering to look up and properly greet his best friend. “We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
Bucky’s heart stalls for a brief second, long enough to remind him that it’s still there. It still works. It still feels. After everything that has happened with Hydra, he wasn’t sure that would be the case.
So I’m here to go on another mini rant about a YouTuber.
BrisxLife on YouTube. He is a reactor who came into the Kpop world reacting to BTS. And there are a lot of people on YouTube who first get into Kpop reacting to BTS/EXO/GOT7. A lot of them start out with those 3 groups and then kind of branch out to others and get to know them. And to be honest, I like watching people get to know members and music and I like to see genuine reactions. I have zero issues with new fans. Late to the party? So what! At least you’re here now. However, when someone is a shitty person, I’m not about it.
#1: This man just started reacting to kpop 3 months ago. And I am NOT hating on the fact that he is a new fan, but his ego is ENORMOUS. He watched a video of a guy calling him out on YouTube, and he said “I have been reacting to videos for 3 months and I have done more for the kpop community than you ever have.” First off, you don’t even fucking know this guy. He could’ve done loads for the kpop community (he hasn’t, but it’s the point.) Second, what the hell have you done for the kpop community? You react to videos and took people’s money to go to the AMAs. “I am a black man reacting to kpop. That’s unique.” No? It…isn’t? That’s the amazing thing about the kpop community. There is so much diversity and all different races and people from all different places. You are NOT the only black guy who likes kpop or reacts to it. “I have the littest vlog at the AMAs watching BTS. Go search it up right now.” Dude, I’ve seen better camera work done by my 5 year old nephew. “BTS official twitter put me in their article.” Okay? Now you’re just bragging about shit. “I was on the news in South Korea. Like? Come on.” Dude, calm down. Your fucking ego is the size of Australia.
#2: When he watched this video calling him out, he said “You need to deactivate your comments on this video. Because if you don’t, you’re going to be very sad tonight. Because Bris Gang (literally the name he gave his ‘fans’. Literally gave himself his own fandom name), we’re going to go over there and we’re going to flood the comments.” Seriously telling people to go send hate to someone and ENCOURAGING it. When he says on his channel “I just want to make people happy. I want to make people smile.”
#3: He made a GoFundMe and gave his PayPal link asking Armies to send him money so he could go and see BTS perform at the AMAs. He said in his video that he promised he would have the littest vlog at the AMAs if they did this for him and that he might even get to meet them. Lmao. In the end, they gave him over a grand. And this guy lives in compton. Which is like at most an hour drive to LA. He didn’t need that much. He just needed money for a ticket basically. So he went out, bought himself a new suit, and went to see BTS. To be honest, it rubs me the wrong way that he, a grown man with a job, asked his viewers which are 85% young teenagers….for money to go see BTS. It really made me go…what the fuck.
#4: He captioned a CL reaction “I wish CL was in BTS. She should be in BTS.” ……
And captions his Hyuna reactions “Leaving my girl for Hyuna tonight!!” Or “I left my girl for Hyuna!”
Note to his girlfriend: Please fucking drop him. Please.
#5: There is a video circulating right now of Korean people reacting to BTS’ worldwide success. To which one girl said in the interview “EXO is more popular. I like EXO more.” Which is bound to happen sometimes? Some people prefer different groups? Like…that’s a thing. BTS isn’t the only group that exists. And EXO are a bit more popular in Asia than BTS. That is actually true. And he reacted to this video and when that girl said that he paused it and went “Hold on.” And then acted like he was zipping his mouth shut, locking it and throwing away the key. And then went on to say “I mean…BTS is…you know…they’re BTS.” With a look on his face like 'Come on, you know what I mean.’ I mean…yeah they are BTS. That’s correct. And EXO is EXO. And they are also incredibly talented. And deserve fans and love as well. This is why some fanwars start. We don’t need this.
#6: He was watching a series on YouTube called An Introduction To BTS. And each member has a 20+ minute video that this person took their time to make basically telling you important things about each member. When he was watching Jin’s version, there was a part in the video where it talked about how during their debut stage, his pants fell down due to the mic pack being too heavy on them and when the stage was over, he cried. And he looked at the screen with this like 'what the fuck’ face and said “Why are you crying man? Cut that shit out.” Or something like that in a really weird way. Like saying men shouldn’t cry or it was a stupid thing to cry over. Okay first off, idols train for a long time, some for 5+ years and they expect every detail to be perfect when they debut, and a lot of idols…including Jin, pick at themselves and think that they aren’t good enough or talented enough and they try so hard. Imagine training for years for this one moment and perfecting it, only for the moment to come…and your pants fall down. That is definitely a reason to cry. He was upset and disappointed. Leave him alone.
#7: As everyone knows, the kpop world lost a beautiful, incredible talent 2 weeks ago. Kim Jonghyun of SHINee. I miss him so much. May he always rest in peace. And BrisxLife took advantage of this tragedy, and made reaction videos to either just Jonghyun or SHINee all together with #RIPJonghyun in the title of all of them and put them into parts. He even made a reaction to a tribute video. Who makes a reaction to a tribute video? So just that in general…rubbed me the wrong way. But wait, there’s more. He MONETIZED three of these videos. T H R E E. For those of you who don’t know, that is when you turn something on on your videos on YouTube to make MONEY off of them. It is automatically off when you upload and you choose to turn it on. So he was making money off of a tragedy. Off of someone’s pain. Someone’s depression. Someone’s suicide. And if that isn’t one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever heard…I have no idea what is.
Anyway in conclusion: BrisxLife rubs me the wrong way and makes me uncomfortable. He has done nothing for the kpop community? Lmao. He has made a bad name for kpop reactors. And he has made money off of tragedy. And I can only speak for myself but…as an ARMY…I don’t fucking claim this guy. And that concludes another one of my rants about a YouTuber.
Here are the books I read in 2017. I didn’t read as much as I usually do this year. I was kind of on tour constantly and also life. But I read many excellent books this year and only one inexcusably bad book that I am still very angry about.
My Favorite Book of the Year
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee
I cannot say enough about Pachinko. This novel was utterly absorbing. I knew nothing about it when I picked it up, and I couldn’t put it down. I read it voraciously and was so taken by the writing, by the elegance of the prose, the sweeping ambition and scope of the narrative, how much I learned without feeling lectured, how I wanted so very much for the characters and was very invested in their lives. I love this book.
My Second Favorite Book of the Year
Stephen Florida by Gabe Habash
A girl (woman obvi) I’m always trying to impress gave me this book so I of course read it and at first, I was like, hmm, this is just an uncomfortable read. As in literally, the prose is so weird that it was uncomfortable to read. But I kept reading. And I kept reading. And it was all so strange, so intensely committed to being what it was, no pretense, no bullshit, just incredibly stylistic storytelling about a young man who lives to wrestle. I loved all the details, the intense focus on the body, the obsession with ambition, the plainness of Stephen Florida’s wants and needs. I never knew what was going to happen next. I was always anxious about what might happen next. The execution of this novel is flawless. So many very good books are very good but unoriginal. This book is excellent and truly original.
The Other Best Books of the Year
What It Means When a Man Falls From the Sky by Lesley Nneka Arimah Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado We Are Never Meeting In Real Life by Samantha Irby Spoiler Alert by xTx Eat Only When You Are Hungry by Lindsay Hunter The Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi The Idiot by Elif Batuman I’m So Fine: A List of Famous Men & What I Had On by Khadijah Queen
An Absolutely Delightful Novel That Was Thoroughly Imaginative and Strange and Charming
All the Birds in the Sky by Charlie Jane Anders
A Memoir that Was Really Very Extra but the Writing Was Fine and the Book Certainly Held My Prurient Interest
How to Murder Your Life by Cat Marnell
Gorgeous Collections of Poetry That Astonished Me And Opened The World Up To Me
Don’t Call Us Dead by Danez Smith Wade in the Water by Tracy K. Smith Blud by Rachel McKibbens Call a Wolf a Wolf by Kaveh Akbar Bestiary by Donika Kelly Silencer by Marcus Wicker
A Really Creepy True Crime Book About an English Girl’s Disappearance in Japan
The People Who Eat Darkness by Richard Lloyd Parry
An Utterly Underwhelming (and Often Annoying) but Very Competent Short Story Collection
Uncommon Type by Tom Hanks
An Ambitious Essay Collection From a Talented Writer Where I Wanted More Depth From Each Essay
All the Lives I want by Alanna Massey
The Celebrity Memoir I Absolutely Loved and Did Not Expect to Love About an Artist I Knew Nothing About and Now I Can’t Stop Listening to His Song “Lemonade” Which Is Not to Be Confused With God’s Album “Lemonade”
The Autobiography of Gucci Mane by Gucci Mane
The Book I Hated Most, For Excellent Reasons I Explain in My Goodreads Review and That I WIll Summarize by Saying NO NOPE NO Because For One the Protagonist Scoops Semen Out of Her Vagina With Alarming Frequency (WTF DUDE? COME ON)
My Absolute Darling by Gabriel Tallent
A Book From My Childhood That I Adored and Found Again With the Help of Some Fans At An Event (It totally holds up)
Caroline by Willo Davis Roberts
An Amazing Dystopian Feminist Novel I Couldn’t Put Down
The Book of the Unnamed Midwife by Meg Elison
A Fun, Unexpectedly Interesting Book About the Worst Movie Ever
The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero with Tom Bissell
A Novel About Rich White Women That Was Okay And Very Readable But Also Very Predictable And Way Better Than the Dry Ass TV Adaptation With Bad Music
Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
A Quintessential New Yorker’s New York Book That Is Wonderful
Arbitrary Stupid Goal by Tamara Shopsin
A Moving Novel About A Man Trying to Grapple WIth His Weight and His Grief and Keeping His Family Together
The Weight of Him by Ethel Rohan
A Book About Young Folk In the Big City Trying to Make It Work in Start Up World
Startup by Doree Shafrir
A Solid Memoir About Brain Trauma and A Woman Finding Her Way Back to Herself
Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember by Christine Hyung-Oak Lee
A Book of Pictures Of Signs From the Women’s March (Literally)
Why We March: Signs of Protest and Hope
A Hilarious Book by a Comedian Which Is Notable Because Most Comedian Books Are Neither Good Nor Funny
The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell by Kamau Bell
A Book by A Comedian That Was Fine But I Didn’t Love It
The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish
Unique Poetry Collections That Experimented With Form, Language, and Thought In Really Interesting Ways
Electric Arches by Eve Ewing Madness by Sam Sax My Mother Was a Freedom Fighter by Aja Monet
A Book From A Writer I Love That I Wanted to Like But It Made Me Cringe A Lot, Particularly Where Race Is Concerned
The Force by Don Winslow
A Bad Romance Novel Where The Sex Metaphors Made Me Irate and Also The Woman Was Constantly Wetting Herself Over the Man’s Masculine Scent and Let’s Be Real In That Men Only Smell Good Once In A While DON’T AT ME
Deadly Rumors by Cheris Hodges
A Really Descriptive Novel Where Los Angeles and the California Desert Are More Vivid and Compelling As Characters Than the Human Characters
Wonder Valley by Ivy Pochoda
The Essay Collection About Race in America I Am Still Grappling With
We Were Eight Years in Power by Ta-Nehisi Coates
A Book Where the Very Last Scene Was the Strongest, And Still Haunts Me Months After First Reading It
New People by Danzy Senna
Books I Taught In My Fiction Workshops
The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen On Writing by Stephen King Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2015 Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2016 The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee
Excellent Books I Blurbed
Reset by Ellen K Pao This Will Be My Undoing by Morgan Jerkins The Sarah Book by Scott McClanahan The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton This Is My Face by Gabourey Sidibe The Guidebook to Relative Strangers by Camille Dungy Now My Heart is Full by Laura June The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory Heart Berries by Terese Mailhot Goodbye, Sweet Girl by Kelly Sundberg
B can you give us your top 10 anime you watched this year? I'm rlly curious! Thank you :3
Oh my my, this is the hardest thing to do…but let’s try! Let’s go from 10 to 1 this time, for the dramatics of it!
TOP 10 ANIME I WATCHED IN 2017
10. Ouran High School Host Club
I enjoyed it very very much and it’s probably the most EXTRA thing I’ve ever watched. I loved all the characters, the twins especially, and how surprisingly deep and diverse their characterization was! A true classic.
A very very late discovery that managed to get on this list at the last minute. This is not a perfect story with perfect characters (which I personally ADORE), but it managed to get me hooked from the start and left me wanting to know more and more. I’m in love with this very dark universe, but you know it’s easy to win me over with vampires ;)
8. Boku No Hero Academia
Despite being the protagonist of the Top 10 Anime Betrayals when I said I’m not that fond of BNHA now, I can’t forget how hyped I used to be when I first watched the anime and read the manga. It’s a story that has a lot of my favorite characters, like Todoroki and Kirishima, and I find its plot incredibly well written. I may have grown distant with time, but it’s always in my heart.
Barakamon was my first slice of life anime ever and it made me fall in love with this particular genre. It’s…just so good, so funny and so touching one may call it a perfect anime, and probably it truly is.
6. Poco’s Udon World
Well, you all know how much I adored this anime and I still do. It spoke to me on so many levels, it made my heart explode with every possible feeling. It’s a story that felt so painfully real to me and it taught me so much, from the importance of appreciating the things you have to accept that, sometimes, to move forward you just have to go back. It’s a true hidden gem everyone should watch at least once, especially if you are in your late twenties or older…you’ll see why ;)
5. Tokyo Ghoul
Once I read that sometimes disgrace attacks a single person with the same force that it’s usually reserved for an entire country and this basically sums Tokyo Ghul up. I live in a state of constant fear when it comes to my ghoul kids and my most beloved Ken kaneki, but I’m still looking forward to what season 3 will bring us (i.e. to far more pain).
4. Owari No Seraph
Speaking of pain, here’s another great source of it. It’s a story that I literally devoured, both in anime and in manga form. It means so much to me that it’s even hard to find words to describe how much I love it. Let’s just say it has it all: vampires, mysteries, questionable characters that you end up loving regardless, ANGST, tears, friendships, an older character adopting a bunch of teens and, let’s say it, tons of gay. Beautiful.
3. Black Butler
The one with Balck Butler is the longest journey I’ve embarked myself this year. I’m usually scared to start series that have been going on for so long, but it was totally worth it, even just for the magnificence that was Book of Circus or Book of the Atlantic. Also, I always wondered why people were always head over heels for Sebastian and well…now I know, and I am one of them (and this is how my Ono Daisuke worship started, rip).
You all know my troubled history with Noragami. It was an anime that I didn’t like at all at first but, watching it again after a 6 months break, I ended up loving with all myself. Yato is honestly one of the most fascinating (and attractive) characters I’ve ever met and all the rest of the cast is just as well developed and layered. Also, it’s the anime that made me fall for Kamiya Hiroshi’s voice once and for all.
1. Bungou Stray Dogs
How many words did I already spend about BSD? Way too many but never enough. This is an anime I will never stop to recommend, the universe that captivated me the most, the set of characters that I hold the dearest. In one word: a masterpiece.
- bonus: Kimi no Na wa: this incredible movie deserves a special mention and can’t be ranked because it’s in a league of its own. It was utter perfection in plot, animation and music, and I don’t remember having cried that much out of raw emotion ever in my life. It’s an Oscar-worthy movie and I loved every single second of it.
Summary: Billy takes interest in a girl who has to keep it secret from her family. The Wheelers.
Author’s Note: This shit took me forever to write, oh my god! 4k + words, my dears. Get a snack and get cozy.
REQUESTS OPEN FEEDBACK APPRECIATED
“Billy!” I exclaimed as he captured me around the waist and tugged me behind his locker door.
Billy and I had been flirting back and forth for a while now. I thought when he first approached me that he only wanted to get under Steve’s skin by dating his girlfriend’s younger sister. But after Steve and Nancy broke up, he kept on flirting.
He had yet to kiss me, even though he came close many, many, times. He was a tease, and he knew it. He also knew that I wasn’t self-confident enough to make the first move, so he went on teasing.
His lips would brush my cheek, in towards my nose, and suddenly he would pull back. He loved to watch my cheeks go red, always pulling away with his trademark smirk.
“Missed you yesterday.” He told me, keeping his arms around my waist and tucking his head on my shoulder.
“Mhmm.” I hummed, “Family thing.”
I had gone with Nancy to visit Barb’s parents after school. Despite the lack of clues in Barb’s disappearance, they hadn’t given up hope on finding their daughter. Nancy and I both considered them to be like a second family. And I think they enjoy having girls in the house, another child to parent in Barb’s absence.
Summary: All you wanted was to forget your excuse of a ex-boyfried for one night, you just wanted a distraction. Luckily, the new kid seemed more than willing to help you out.
Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader
Word Count: 2,123
Warnings: Cursing, SMUT, mention of cheating, angst if you squeeze your eyes really hard, Pure SMUT, ORAL (female receiving), FACE RIDING, Billy boi being a damn sub(for a while).
A/N: First of all, HAPPY 2018. Second things second, this one shot is based on THIS MUSIC by divide the day, I’ve heard it so many times for years but when I listened to it again after watching the second season of Stranger Things, I couldn’t help but to imagine Billy singing this to the reader after whatever happened between her and Steve. I just… ugh. I really hope you guys enjoy this. (btw, I know who Billy is and I do not ignore it I just think he’s hot as fuck and deserves a chance to get a smut one shot, K? Thanks, you’re welcome,)
think your life is done he took it all with him,
drink enough for it to wash away the sins.
Bitterly staring at Steve and Nancy, you couldn’t help but to chug down on your drink as the couple danced in the corner of Tina’s Halloween party.
Everyone was still shocked that Steve Harrington, the King of Hawkins’ High School simply broke up with you, the Queen, to stay with Nancy Wheeler.
It wasn’t only the status, far from that.
You did actually loved Steve and his dumb hair and pick up lines, and you thought he loved you too, but apparently, for him, all that mattered was what people thought of him and dating the most popular girl sure would bring him some extra popularity.
shitty thing he did, the way he said goodbye
take all on me if you like.
You wished he had at least warned you, it would have prevented you from falling for him for months, prevented you from searching for Steve one day only to find him all hugs and kisses with her.
Luckily, you were taught better not to make a scene or get mad at Nancy. Yeah, it was Steve who was cheating on you, but she knew he had a girlfriend and still chose to keep whatever the fuck they were and send a smile to you at the corridor whenever you passed by her locker.
You couldn’t help but to notice both of you two differences, she was all dolled up in pink sweaters and cute smiles while you rocked your leather jackets and sinful smirks. Steve caught an eye on you, guilty plastered on his face as he watched you dry your cup the second he turned to you.
“And what are you supposed to be?” Some drunk brat caught your attention; he was one of Tommy’s stupid friends.
“Not interested.” He lifted his hands up in surrender, knowing better than to pressure you out of all people.
“Well, don’t you have a sharp tongue for such a pretty face?” Resting your hip on the counter, you turned to the smirking boy; the newbie.
“You’re the new boy, aren’t ya? The one trying to steal Harrington’s crown?” He chuckled under his breath, his back against the wall behind him.
“Billy. And you’re Harrington’s ex, huh? No wonder why it’s so easy to take his place, the guy fell on standards even on woman.” Tilting your head, you smirked. Not because of what he was saying, no. Other guys had gotten way worst from you with better words. As you were about to open your mouth for a snarky comment, you heard the voice that still haunted your dreams.
“Back off, Hargrove.” Raising his brows, Billy was about to tell him off when you angrily kissed him. Not even bothering looking into Steve as you lost yourself on his hungry lips on yours.
Jimin’s heart was racing as he jogged to the campus’ cafe. Sure, you were blunt and usually said what was on your mind, you managed to beat around the bush with the question he asked.
Instead of giving Jimin an answer, you decided to ask to meet up to ‘settle’ this, whatever this was, in person.
Jimin, although nervous, was excited to see you again. He never made the final move to get your number at the party and he definitely wasn’t going to let you slip out of his fingers again.
Approaching the cafe, Jimin let out a shaky sigh. It was the intervention he wasn’t even expecting. When he thought about meeting his pen pal weeks ago, he never felt nervous although he had caught quite the liking to you. But now finding out you were THE girl who made him open up his heart by being so accepting of the real him?
Real him, he thought to himself with a scoff. Would you even believe the guy you talked to at the party was the real him? Or did you think that he was just trying to appeal to you in hoped of sleeping with you later?
He didn’t have time to answer his nerve-wracking questions because he caught sight of you–of course he remembered what you looked like; your image was glued to his mind–wearing sweats and most likely a sweatshirt way too large for you.
Smiling softly at your being, he approached while watching you bounce your knee up and down and stare at the tea before you intently.
Your thoughts were a jumbled mess. Your stomach was doing flip flops and you heart was beating a miles a minute. Why did you agree to this?
After Jimin sent you the inevitable ‘do you like me too?’ text, you couldn’t even answer that to yourself. Instead of replying you agreed on meeting him at your campus’ cafe.
What was he going to act like?
Better yet, what did you want him to act like?
You just wanted him to be honest. Honest with you, but most importantly honest with himself.
You snapped your head up at the voice and gave a wary smile.
“Park Jimin,” You greeted, gesturing to the seat across from you for him.
“Jimin is just fine, you know?” Jimin smiled and took a seat.
“Sorry,” You apologized before moving you tea closer to you to take a sip. “So, my pen pal is the famous Jimin that I’ve heard so much about. How many girls want to be in my shoes?” You asked before taking a long sip.
Jimin chuckled and shook his head. “You wouldn’t believe me,” He sighed before taking a long look at you, “But I’m glad it’s you.”
“Oh really?” You wiggled your eyebrows, “You mean you loved flirting with me only to be constantly rejected?”
Looking away for a split second, he rolled his eyes with a grin, “No–o. We had nice conversations that I’ve never had with another girl before. Y/N, I don’t think you understand how much you’ve grown on me.”
“I tend to be a blessing to people’s lives,” you flipped your hair behind your shoulder. Jimin laughed, causing his eyes to crinkle into a shape resembling crescent moons.
“I agree. Plus, I think you rejecting me really gave me a reality check. If I could be so easily rejected because you didn’t know who I was, that tells a lot about my reputation. I’m so used to people just begging for my attention but with you, I felt like I was begging for yours,” He finished his statement quietly.
You raised your eyebrows in surprise. You always discarded Jimin’s flirting with a roll of your eyes over text but now knowing who he really was made your original thoughts about him change. He never gave up on you. Well, until you made your deal but still, he managed to squeeze in a few texts of endearment.
“And then our talk at the party? Man, that really opened my eyes. It was the first conversation with a girl that didn’t have to do with flirting. You had no idea who I was and I was able to express my true thoughts and feelings.”
“You talked about yourself, too. I could tell you had a connection to ‘Jimin,’ but I didn’t even think that you were him. I noticed you were often, how do I say, at war with yourself, and very careful with what you said at first,” You said softly.
“Yeah,” He agreed with a long sigh, “I knew if I said the wrong thing to expose myself, you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“How do you know that? Since when we first spoke, you were nothing but honest with me. Well, besides your identity. Even if I found out who you were at the end of the night, I would’ve been the only girl who new the real Park Jimin.”
“I didn’t know. People are so judgmental nowadays. A few weeks ago I found out my friend Jungkook’s pen pal didn’t tell him who she really was because the first time they met he looked so disappointed. By a single look, her self esteem was crushed and she decided not to tell him.”
“What happened to them?”
“They became best friends! Meanwhile Jungkook was falling for her and his pen pal unknown to him that they were the same person. Heh, I guess I could relate to that. After a bunch of drama with her fake friend, Jungkook found out and he felt terrible.”
“And?” You were on the edge of your seat. Was his friend forgiven? Were they still friends?
“Oh. They’re dating now,” He finished off.
“Yeah, she loved him. And he realized he loved her after she was out of his life for a while. It’s a really long story, believe me.”
“Well at least by the end, neither of them were judgmental. Jungkook obviously learned from his mistake and his pen pal didn’t judge him after all the drama and instead forgave him,” You pointed out.
“It took an entire intervention! It took me and Taehyung for them to finally settle the truth.”
“I can assure you, I’m not like that.”
“I didn’t know that then. Besides, what if you did know things about me and you were just like the other girls? For once I wanted to be a nobody.”
“You know,” You began, a smile stretching on your face. “I like this Jimin. If you don’t like the reputation you have, why don’t you just change, though?”
“It’s hard to. It’s hard to be something society expects you not to be.”
“Screw society. Be whoever the hell you want to be. If I was who everybody thought I’d be, I’d be nose in books and not caring toward anyone else on the planet.”
Jimin stared at you in admiration. How were you so accepting?
“Listen, I know we met up so I can answer your question but can I ask you this really vital question first?”
Jimin widened his eyes and nodded. “Of course.”
“Am I really the girl who changed the dear fuckboy?” You teased with a smile.
Sighing at the lack of seriousness in your question, he rolled his eyes. “I think so, my love.”
“Okay no really. One question: If I was another girl, would you still have the same feelings for me?”
He thought about the question for a moment. “I’m always going to like the girl at the party. If the girl I was texting wasn’t you, she wouldn’t have had the same effect on me. You were you and nobody would’ve replaced how I felt about you the first time we met.”
“So you don’t think it’s pure coincidence me and the girl at the party are the same person.”
“My love, nothing is an accident.”
“Then yes, Park Jimin. My dear fuckboy, I’ve had feelings for you since the ‘have you ever fallen in love?’ conversation we had. It was our first real conversation and it really won me over.”
“You mean, you’ve liked me for a while now? And you made no move?”
“And give you the satisfaction and inflate your ego? No thanks,” You laughed.
“You know, I think even if we didn’t have the conversation about how I found out you were my pen pal, I still would’ve figured it out.”
Giving him a skeptical look, you asked, “How?”
“There was one thing–one statement–you two said that I didn’t remember until now.”
“Oh yeah? What was that?”
He leaned in close enough to be only a few centimeters away from your and your breath hitched in your throat.
“’In your dreams boi.’“
Before you could scoff at your repetitive phrase, he placed his lips on yours and this time you thought, Hm maybe he was right all those months ago when we first spoke. You don’t want this to be a dream.
L:ASDLASDKL ITS OVER AND IDK HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT AHHHHH!! HOW WAS IT FAM? DID YOU LIKE IT??? PLS LET ME KNOW HERE!!
Hehehe even tho during the piece of their convo at the party didn’t include the iconic, in your dreams boi, SOMEWHERE IN THAT CONVO THROUGH THE NIGHT IT WAS THERE HAHA
WHo’s ready for Jin’s pen pal bc his is next!!! (im sensing lots of fluff)
Y/n has alway been good at running away from her problems.
It’s something she’s become so used to—avoiding all the feelings and emotions that could tear her down and finding her way around them.
It’s a dangerous coping mechanism and she knows it. She’s been through this cycle more times than she can remember, and each time did they end with her being so full of emotion and so torn apart from the heartbreak that she’ll spend days—weeks, even—laying in the dark and locking all of her doors to avoid the outside world.
It’s gotten so bad that there have been times she hasn’t even communicated with anybody, leaving her friends and family begging on their knees by her locked doors just to get her to open up—both mentally and physically.
And they all could have been prevented if she wasn’t so afraid of letting her feelings get to her. But she hates it—god, how she hates being in a sensitive state of mind and her heart feeling so heavy that she forgets how to breathe. So, instead of letting herself feel all of that, she does anything and everything to ignore it.
She’ll teach herself new things, keep herself occupied at night so that she doesn’t have the time to fall asleep (because it was always then her thoughts caught up with her the most), and even will go so far as avoiding the people in her life that would make her talk about it.
Notes: 1) Happy New Year my precious babies. First fic of 2018 for you. I hope y’all are ready for some kinky funness. 2) This is legit unedited because I’m too lazy right now, at a party and need more alcohol. I could barely type this as it was. So be kind if I made errors. I have no patience for it. Whoops.
please hurry up, sweetheart? We should have been out the door by now. If we
don’t leave soon, we are going to be late and I’d rather not hear it from my
parents that we weren’t on time!”
You rolled your eyes as you put away the remainder of your makeup,
pushing the drawer closer. You could hear your boyfriend’s constant footsteps
across the kitchen floor, his husky voice clearly echoing through the silent
house, laced with various forms of anxiety. The man hadn’t even been home for
two days and he was a nervous nelly. And about what?
anon said: Could you do a 7 minute in heaven for jiminie?? Sort of like an enemies to lovers au..~
anon said: An enemies to lovers au for jiminie.. Please I love your writing♡
You first encountered Park Jimin when you were around the age of fifteen in your dance academy. Jimin was one of the older boys in another group, but he stayed back to help your instructor teach you and the girls in your class. Your teacher had often compared you to Jimin, which resulted in your expectations of the boy to be set fairly high; after all, he had gotten into every competition you had, he was the most talented in his group, and he just so happened to be your school’s heartthrob. Everything was perfect about the boy a year and a half older than you, yet you could not adore him similar to the other girls. They swooned under his presence and made mistakes purposefully to have him assist them, while you performed the choreography with no issues or critiquing words from your instructor. You did not care for the boy everyone else admired.
Whenever you were placed in one of the higher classes full of students all older than you, Jimin was the one boy who caused you problems. Every opportunity he was given, Jimin would point out what he believed was not up to par. You were both set at the same skill level, yet he felt the audacity to critique you whenever he was not worthy of it. The class full of your seniors was difficult to keep up with along with your studies, but somehow you managed to rank the most intelligent student among your peers, skipping a grade up to Jimin’s. Jimin then decided that since he thought knew you that he would invite you to his friend group; there you met his six guy friends who all possessed bold personalities, and the girls who you soon called your closest friends.
Everything was perfect for a while, Jimin stayed away from you for the vast majority of the time and you tolerated one another for a bit. He did not make any comments whenever you performed in front of the class, and you didn’t trip him on the way out of the studio. Trouble only began brewing when your instructor noticed the tension between you two when a solo was announced. None of the other dancers attempted to win your teacher’s heart, but you and Jimin once again returned to your old ways. Fights occurred often, and you slapped him more times than you can count, which resulted in your instructor to notice and come up with a solution. A duet contest would be taking place a few weeks before the concert, and you and Jimin would perform alongside one another. She should have known the problems that would occur because of her suggestion.
Your duet received a perfect score, and Jimin got the solo.
“How can two lovable people despise each other so much?” Sana laughed joyfully as you walked alongside her to the frat house the boys all lived in together. You rolled your eyes, deciding not to tell the story of your hatred in regards to Jimin, understanding Sana knew it well. She smiled while walking beside you, noticing the frown you carried thanks to Jimin who had continued to cause more problems. Even now with university, you and Jimin continue to be strict rivals constantly battling for the top spot, which he had just won today. When everyone began applying for colleges, you and Jimin just so happened to share the same dream of attending one of the most popular art and science universities while majoring in dance. You both got accepted into the college with a full ride of scholarships.
Approaching the front door of the frat house, Hoseok opened the door with a warm smile. Hoseok was another dancer, but he had attended another institution for dance than you and Jimin. He was just as talented, but specializing in a different genre. Hoseok found Sana during one of the first days when you introduced them to one another; being that Sana is your roommate in the dorms, they were constantly surrounded by one another and eventually began dating. Sana giggled as she was soon swept off of her feet by Hobi; you continued to walk past the happy couple into the frat house full of boys that you had grown close to, except Jimin of course.
“Namjoon, it’s to early to begin drinking,” you laughed, stealing the bottle from the boy who you often studied with. Namjoon was just as intelligent, only using his knowledge to become a doctor.
“Hey! It is too early to be scolding me like you’re older!” Namjoon teased you, taking ahold of the bottle of beer again. He wrapped his arm around you as you both laughed, being the big brother you never had. You were still the youngest of the group, even in university. The boys always found a way to help and protect you no matter your situation, including Jimin. Even if your competitive spirit with Jimin is severe, he still finds a way to help you whenever you need it. Many times you deny whatever he might suggest or offer, but he gives you the opportunity and reveals that he definitely does not hate you as much as you hate him. You peered up from your phone, your eyes meeting Jimin’s as he sat on the counter in the kitchen. “Your nemesis is here, Chim, and she’s looking furious.”
“Shut the f—”
“Y/N,” Jin giggled before you could speak what you initially wanted to respond with. You glared up at Namjoon who held in his laughter, Hoseok and Sana walking in wearing big grins. You never really desired having a relationship, always being so focused on dancing and your studies, which takes up all of your time. With Sana and Hobi around, a small part of you wished you had someone as well, but you pushed that thought out. Jin smiled at the couple as he handed you a sample of whatever food he was preparing for the small get together. You grinned widely at the sight of the food Jin had made, loving anything that he cooked being that it all tasted wonderful. You were not a very good cook, but you knew that with Jin’s help you could definitely become one. “This is my parents’ favorite.”
“I came up with a few games to play,” Taehyung stated as he stood beside Yoongi, who appeared as if he was going to fall asleep if we did not begin to play a game. Everyone began clapping as all attention focused on Taehyung and his sheet of paper that he held close to his chest like a child doing a presentation. You leaned on Namjoon, knowing he wouldn’t fall if you pushed him as hard as you could. Jimin let out a sigh as he faced Taehyung, being the last person to give him their attention. “A few of these are kind of risky, but the only two allowed to opt out are Sana and Hobi-hyung. The rest of us are fine being that we are not tied down into a relationship. Okay we have: spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven, and truth or dare!”
“This is stupid! There are only three other girls!” Jungkook laughed, pointing to you, Jisoo, and Yeri. Taehyung laughed as he covered his face with the sheet of paper, a groan escaping your lips knowing that the games always ended in you doing something crazy with one of the boys. Out of all of the seven boys, you had kissed two of them thanks to Taehyung’s games — Namjoon and Jungkook. Both of whom you promised to never speak of again, and an awkward feeling swarmed the two of you for at least a month. Taehyung then shrugged, Jungkook facing you as he began laughing. You shot a glare in his direction, your eyes meeting Jimin’s right after. You had not noticed his gaze until you met it, realizing that he must have been staring at you for a while. He did not flinch once you looked back, your cheeks reddening, but not his.
“Alright! I nominate the first round of seven minutes in heaven to…” Yeri peered around the room, her bottom lip stuck out as she pondered who would be the best. Yeri was given the opportunity to pick because she was the only person who didn’t kiss someone else during spin the bottle. You kissed Namjoon for the second time, which was not that bad being that you could have had to kiss the pizza delivery guy, which ended up being Jisoo’s job. Yeri smirked as she leaned over to Jungkook, whispering in his ear for a second to have his eyes light up. He nodded rapidly, clapping his hands while waiting for Yeri to say the couple. “Y/N and Jimin!”
Soon, both you and Jimin were screaming at Yeri words that Jin would disapprove of. Everyone besides you two began laughing at your reactions which mimicked one another’s.
“You don’t have to do anything! You could both sit in there not saying a word!” Yeri laughed, yet you still did not want to be in a small space with Jimin. No matter if you both spent hours practicing with one another for multiple duets, his hands placed on your waist and hips at times, your faces merely centimeters away from touching, being close and not related to dancing slightly scared you. You were not scared of Jimin when it came to words, but you knew why he attracted girls — he has a way with moving that the average boy does not have. He is a talented dancer whose facial expressions differ from anybody else’s, and those expressions do not change depending on his location. “You two seriously danced the most intimate duets and made perfect scores. There is no reason why you can’t sit in a small space with one another!”
“For fucks sake!” You groaned before standing up and grabbing Jimin by his wrist. Everyone began cheering as you walked into the closet and sat down in the corner, scowling as Jimin closed the door. Darkness cascaded, and you heard as everyone stated outside that they were going to get more drinks in the kitchen. You huffed, your heart pounding in your chest as you heard Jimin take a seat. You understood he did not want to be in the situation either, but if neither of you had gotten up then you would have never lived the moment down. You rested your head against the wall, taking a deep breath as you screwed your eyes shut. Silence fell in the space, and not a single sound was heard outside of the closet either. You wanted to crawl into the floor right there and disappear for the rest of eternity.
“Why do you hate me?”
“Seriously? You do everything to put me at a lower rank,” you replied, and you heard Jimin shuffling around.
“I do not; I simply want you to use the talent you have to the best of your capabilities! You’re younger than everyone so we all want you to be the best! I only tell you what’s wrong because you’re good enough to do anything,” Jimin stated, and soon you felt his arm against yours. He had moved to sit closer to you, which was not expected being that you both had put up a fight to not be stuck with one another. Jimin sighed, yet the small action made you feel small. Jimin had always been intimidating, you had just suppressed the feeling and pushed yourself to be better. He was gentle, and you knew that, you just did not comprehend it.
“Why do you hate me?” You asked.
“I don’t,” Jimin breathed. He must have held his breath until you responded, which you had not noticed until then. You nodded although you understood he could not see you, feeling your heart pounding rapidly due to the close space you both were forced to be in. You attempted to lower your legs from your chest, and your feet hit the wall opposite of you and Jimin. Despite the proximity, you still found yourself able to be comfortable. “I sat on a box over there and it didn’t feel too safe, so I’m sorry if I’m close. I don’t hate you, because if you haven’t noticed that would be very hard. You’re very likable, and everyone I know wants to be with you or your friend. You have this thing about you that I, yet alone anyone, can not figure out.”
“Says the guy who has girls crawling to his feet!” You replied, hearing a chuckle leave Jimin’s lips. He did not even deny your accusations, which proved your point. You and Jimin are complete opposites — he is confident, definitely not a virgin, and a pro at everything he attempts; you are shy, a virgin, and it takes you forever to master something. You rolled your eyes, Jimin’s side resting against yours which caused him more problems then it did you.
Jimin, like every guy he knew, found himself fascinated with you. You are unapologetic about dancing sensually, and compared to the other female dancers, you’re a goddess. Whenever you would perform duets with one another, he was conscious of placing his hands on you, believing you’d snap at him if he did not hold you right. Jimin believed the blush appearing on your cheeks whenever you danced together was simply from practicing, unaware of the fact that you remained single.
“Not the girl I want,” Jimin muttered. “She is focused on what really matters, unlike me. She is devoted to her work, while I am struggling to pay attention to anything because she’s on my mind.” You bit down on your tongue at Jimin’s words, not really knowing what the feeling is like. You wondered how long you had been cooped up in the closet for, but you did not mind the time either way. You and Jimin had a different understanding of one another after being forced into the same compact space. You felt your heart beating, your head telling you to make a promise to not treat each other like you used to. You lacked the confidence to actually speak up though, not wanting to interrupt Jimin with his small story. Minutes ago, you wouldn’t have cared.
“Do I know her?” You whispered, running your hand through your hair.
“She just spoke.”
“You fucker!” You laughed, playfully elbowing his side, expecting Jimin to laugh back and say that he got you. Only he didn’t, remaining silent while waiting for you to continue. You felt your heart racing in your chest by this point, not knowing how to continue the conversation being that Jimin had just confessed to you, and your cheeks were definitely red and hot. Jimin was the only boy you knew who was potentially worth your time, and you shared the same hobbies. Jimin had no flaws, which meant he was completely perfect and your younger self who didn’t know him would have told you to jump at the chance. You squeezed your eyes shut as you waited for Jimin to tell you that it was a joke, or ‘how could you ever believe such a lie?’
“Then show me.”
You crawled onto Jimin’s lap, your legs on either side of him. You did not know where your confidence originated, being that you would have never made such a move with anyone. Jimin did not hesitate, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you closer to him which you didn’t realize was possible. You felt his breath on your face, his lips connecting with the skin of your neck. You squeezed your eyes closed as you clutched onto the thin fabric of his shirt, his fingertips raising the hem of your shirt so he could touch the delicate skin lining your waist. You felt your cheeks warming as you realized what was occurring, tapping your hand against Jimin’s chest.
“You idiot, don’t leave a mark where they can see,” you whispered, and Jimin nodded before stretching the collar of your shirt to connect his lips to your shoulder. You smiled faintly while struggling not to make a noise that could possibly be heard outside. Your hands lowered, your fingertips gliding down Jimin’s chest which you never realized was completely muscle. He hummed, which turned into your motivation to keep going. You began to slowly move your hips, Jimin’s lips removing themselves from your shoulders. You did not know if you were correctly starting what you figured would be a long night, but Jimin seemed to be enjoying your actions. You continued lowering your fingertips until they met the waistband of his jeans, your fingers lingering over the button of them. Jimin rubbed small circles on the small of your back, breathing softly against your neck.
“Times up! We’re not going to open the door because nobody wants to get up, but get out of there!”
You snapped back into reality, the lust that once filled your eyes disappearing. Jimin gently placed a kiss upon your lips, almost hesitantly like everything that once occurred never did. You smiled faintly and nodded, getting off of his lap and sitting on the floor. You then realized that noise was happening outside of the closet, and that everyone was laughing while clearly having a fun time. Jimin placed his hand on your thigh while softly chuckling, your hands meeting his hair to flatten it down so it does not look too crazy. Despite the lack of lighting, you understood both of you looked different then when you first entered, which would raise some eyebrows. You took a deep breath as Jimin squeezed your hand, the both of you standing up to begin walking out to see the group of people behind the act. As you opened the door, words were spoken that you never thought you would ever hear.
fuck… I told myself that I wasn’t going to write this meta but…
[spoilers for The Greatest Showman]
CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE THE PERFORMANCE OF REWRITE THE STARS?
Not only do you see, hear and FEEL the want and desire [and love] that these two feel for the other, but what I adore about this particular act is that it’s a complete metaphor for their love story.
You have Anne, who is a beautiful and talented aerialist. You have Philip, who is an upper-class society playwright.
Two key elements play into this particular performance: the unlimited [and sometimes terrifying without a net] air vs. the very real, solid all-encompassing ground.
In fact, when the two first laid eyes on the other, Anne is in the air and Philip is on the ground.
In the start of Rewrite the Stars, Philip tries to talk to her
“You know I want you// It’s not a secret I try to hide// I know you want me// So don’t keep saying our hands are tied…”
and Anne isn’t having it. She wants to be in a space that feels safe and makes sense to her… Flying up in the air.
And Anne is completely in her element; up in the air and literally out of Philip’s reach.
Throughout the first couple of moments in the song, Philip is having a damned time trying to catch up and be on her level.
“You claim it’s not in the cards// But fate is pulling you miles away// And out of reach from me// But you’re here in my heart// So who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny?”
The irony is that the “ground” could also be seen as their reality, the real world outside of those walls, the world that sees and divides [with racism, with classism] the two of them. It’s why Anne avoids the ground and keeps to the sky while Philip tries his best to catch her.
“You think it’s easy// You think I don’t want to run to you But there are mountains// And there are doors that we can’t walk through…”
When it’s obvious that keeping her close to him won’t work, he now scrambles to keep up WITH HER. Philip does his best to take to the air just to be with her…
To the point where the two of them are finally together on equal ground [so to speak]. Their togetherness, their love, in the air is also a thing a beauty.
“How do we rewrite the stars?// Say you were made to be mine?// Nothing can keep us apart// Cause you are the one I was meant to find// It’s up to you// And it’s up to me// No one can say what we get to be// And why don’t we rewrite the stars?// Changing the world to be ours…”
And that’s the point. It was only when they were together as equals, holding each other and trusting the other to catch them when the other falls, and off the “ground” did their love become a sight to behold.
… Sadly when the song ends and both are back on the ground, it’s Anne who pulls and walks away. “You know I want you// It’s not a secret I try to hide// But I can’t have you// We’re bound to break and my hands are tied”
And I just…. HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS.
[gifs aren’t mine, but the feels are… so much of them]
You have been working non-stop in the Resistance and one day, your friend Poe is worried you’ve worked yourself too much. After some convincing, Poe manages to get you to relax; on one condition.
Today had been the first day you weren’t horribly busy with supply runs in a long time. The Resistance had taken in a surge of recruits, adding to the demand of health kits and food rations. The flights and piloting, back and forth were starting to wear on you. You would willingly die for the cause, but you couldn’t fight if you were half-awake.
Despite your need for sleep, you kept pushing yourself. The more work you could get done meant one day closer to the end of The First Order. You couldn’t wait for that day, but your impatience was driving you to an edge when it came to hours wrought through. There was still, even more task to complete. The moment you started thinking about all that could be done, your mind started to fog over and the need to relax kicked in. Like now.
“Y/N?” You shook your head as Poe rested a comforting hand on your shoulder. “You alright? You didn’t answer my question.” You shot your friend an apologetic look.
“Sorry, Poe, I’m just tired.Work gets into my head sometimes. What were you asking about?” Poe frowned and you could see the concern in his deep brown eyes. If you let yourself, you could almost admit you saw affection, love, in them, as well; but you didn’t.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, taking his warm hand off your shoulder. “What matters is you getting some rest.” You closed your eyes and thought for a moment. That moment turned into a minute; and before you knew it, you felt yourself drifting off. “Y/N!?”
“Wha-” You shook your head again, meeting Poe’s gaze.
“C’mon, I’m taking you to your quarters.” You felt Poe’s calloused hand wrap around yours, lifting you out of your seat as gently as he could. “You’ve been working all month, you need to catch up on your sleep.”
“There’s still so much to be done,” you whined as he dragged you out of the common room. “The Resistance needs-”
“The Resistance needs well-rested, alert pilots. Y/N, you’re exhausted.” He stopped walking then, right outside your door. You leaned your shoulder against the wall and Poe’s frown seemed to deepen. “You need unwind, okay? Even if it’s just for a little while.”
Poe couldn’t help himself as he lifted a hand to brush against your cheek. Your eyes instinctively closed at his touch, leaning into his brushing fingers. Poe wished it could also be like this. Him openly comforting you and you melting into him; but, like you had said, works gets into people’s heads far more often than the prospect of love.
“Okay,” you whispered and Poe let go of the breath he was holding in. He brushed some hair out of your face and gave you a pleased, grateful smile.
“Thank you, Y/N,” Poe said, moving to open your door. With a hiss, the passage cleared and he led you into your room. You immediately kicked off your boots and shucked off your jacket. Poe watched as you stumbled towards your cot, a fond smile forming on his lips.
When you made it to your bed, you sat yourself on the edge of it. Your eyes looked up to meet Poe’s and you noticed the small quirking of his mouth. The blush that bloomed on your cheeks would have embarrassed you, if you weren’t so tired.
“I’ll check on you in a bit, okay?” He said, walking over to your cot. You nodded and pressed your side on the slightly uncomfortable sheets. Poe smiled and leaned down, smoothing a tender hand over your hair. Your heart hammered at the contact and you hoped he would just lay beside you, stroking your hair until you fell asleep. A friend would do that; but you and Poe weren’t friends. You were, but anyone could see that you loved each other in a way that was rare; even in a galaxy full of the unorthodox.
Poe’s hand leaving your head broke you from your thoughts. Your eyes opened and you impulsively reached out, grabbing his hand. Poe turned back, looking at you with slight confusion set on his brow. You looked up at him pathetically, the words you longed to say merely balancing on the tip of your tongue.
“Can you stay with me?”
“What?” Poe’s eyes were widened slightly, but not in shock. He looked almost scared, and Poe was never scared. He was first to the skies and last to leave a battle. For all the time you had known him, loved him, he had never looked as scared as he did in that moment.
“Just stay, until I fall asleep,” you murmured, your voice weak with exhaustion. Poe’s heart seemed to skip a beat at what you were asking from him. He held your gaze for a moment longer, then, finally, he nodded.
“Okay,” he said with a soft smile on his lips, “but you’re going to have to scoot over.” You couldn’t stop the soft grin that bloomed on your own lips as you moved over. Poe fell into the now empty spot on your cot, barely fitting beside you. He slipped off his jacket and his old, worn boots before settling in entirely.
“Thank you,” you whispered as you got comfortable once more. Your face was a mere few inches away from Poe’s shoulder, and it was tempting to nuzzle closer to his warmth. He was just so warm. You could feel your eyes getting heavy with each passing moment.
“I could use some rest too,” Poe said, turning his head to face you. Even through, almost, half-lidded eyes, you held his soft gaze. His brown eyes seemed to mirroring the warmth his body was putting out and you could melt under it.
I was looking forward to seeing her. She comes to most of the fan signs, and every time I see her I can’t help but smile because every time I see her, she tells me I’ve made her day; I made her smile. She asks me how I’m doing, if everything’s going well and the way that I want it to. She cares about me and the members, she doesn’t just come to get her albums signed; she comes to see us, or she tells me that she comes to see me, because I - Min Yoongi is her bias. She comes to give us gifts, to thank us for changing her life and tell her what she thinks about new music, new shows we’ve been on, music award shows and our achievements. I see her every so often, but somewhere down the line in the four years she’s supported us. I think I fell in love with her.
WARNING LAST JEDI SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Also complete angst
Pairing - Kylo Ren x Reader
Summery - You’re entire life, you had been force bonded with Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, the love of your life. You stuck with him through thick and thin, gaining a place as his apprentice. Things begin to change when you’re no longer the only person he is bonded with.
Something was wrong with Kylo Ren, he was distancing himself from everyone, even you. You had known him from the very beginning, your parents were friends with his so it was only natural that you two would be close. Training in the ways of the force with Luke; destroying the Jedi; joining the nights of Ren; becoming Kylo Ren; being part of the First Order, you stood by his side through it all. You didn’t agree with everything he did, but you couldn’t just leave him. You loved him. You were his pull to the light, as long as you were with him, Ben Solo could one day return. The force had connected you as children and the bond grew stronger every day.
With every time he stood you up for training, every door in the face, every time he ignored you, you felt the bond grow weaker. It was because of the other girl he was suddenly force bonded with, the girl from Jakku, Rey.
Despite it all, you admired her. A girl that came from nothing who grew to be one of the strongest beings you’d ever seen. It didn’t surprise you that she would be better suited for him. After all, she was magnificent, what were you?
It was time for training and yet again Kylo was nowhere to be seen, so you made your way to his room. Whispers could be heard through the door. He had left you again, for her. Sighing, you knocked the door. All noise from inside had ceased. You were about to turn away when the door slid open.
“What do you want?” Kylo growled, glaring down at you. Never before had he addressed you in such a manner. You had seen him talk to others like this, those that he deemed below him, but never had he dared talk like this to you. He only spoke to you softly, as though you were the one person in all the galaxies he cared for. Clearly that wasn’t the case.
Feeling rage bubble within you, your stance changed. While before you stood relaxed, like a friend, you straightened yourself and your expression turned to stone.
“My training was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago, yet you were nowhere to be found.” You stated calmly.
“I have more important things to do, leave!” He ordered. Although what your brain processed was ‘she’s more important to me than you now, leave so I can be with her’, and your felt your heart brake.
“Yes, Commander.” You spat. His eyes suddenly lost their animosity to be replaced with something that almost looked like regret. As though to make a point you marched away from him, following his order, keeping a steady pace until you were out of sight.
A sob crept up your throat, but you pushed it down. You could hardly sense Ben from round the corner now, once you could sense each other from across the galaxy. The connection between you both was faint now, though you doubted he’d noticed. You began to wonder if you even held a place in the First Order anymore. If you didn’t follow Ben all those years ago you knew you’d be in the Resistance now. It was a strange thought, that one choice shaped your entire life into this. However, choices can come back around and change you again.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
The Supremacy had been plunged into chaos. A Resistance Star Cruiser flew directly into the ship at lightspeed, it was a wonder that the ship was still flying.
You were making your way to an execution when it happened. The first thought in your head was of Ben, if he was alright. So you ran down through the halls trying desperately to find him.
You had almost made it to the elevator when without any warning you fell to your knees, ears ringing painfully. Letting out a scream you closed your eyes tight as tears poured down your face.
“You’re nothing - but not to me.” Bens voice rang in your in your head. He was in Snokes chamber, talking to the girl. Your breathing started to get heavier, small mutterings of the word ‘no’ over and over again escaping your lips. “Join me and we can rule the universe.”
Gasping, you snapped your eyes open. The pain stopped and you felt…. detached. The force connection between you and Ben had been destroyed. Your heart was broken, yet you felt more at peace than you had before. You knew where you stood with him.
Yet again, you were faced with the choice. Stay with Be- Kylo, or leave.
He left you, he didn’t need you anymore. You were almost decorative, a thing that he could show off to others. He shaped you into a weapon for the dark, tried to smother your light because he was losing his own. You felt a pull as emotions rumbled within you; love; loss; anger; sadness but one stood out more than the others. Hope.
Standing up, you turned and ran to the TIE Fighter bay. You would not be the play thing of Ben Solo or Kylo Ren anymore.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
The hanger was falling apart, fire consumed the entire room and the ground was caving in on itself. Using the force, you cleared a path and made your way to a ship.
“Abandoning ship, traitor?” You turned to see a man behind you, the defective stormtrooper. That event felt like forever ago, where as in reality it was only a few weeks. Next to him stood a woman, a fellow resistance member, and a BB unit. You smiled slightly at the trio.
“Takes one to know one.” You opened the door and gestured with your head at the ship. “Need a lift?”
The humans looked at each other, clearly doubtful, when a large explosion sounded. Letting out a few beeps, the droid rolled over to you. Laughing slightly, you used the force to pick it up and placed it safely in the ship. You stepped aside and the humans ran inside too. Taking one last glance around, you climbed aboard and flew away from the place you once called home.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
It was a tough flight, but you managed to fly through the base door before it closed. Being in a First Order ship, naturally they fired upon you instantly. Rose and Finn, whose names you learned during the flight, raised their hands and the shooting stopped.
Instinctively, you stayed hidden in the ship, scared of how they would react to you.
“-and we brought someone else.” Finn said, taking this as your cue you hopped out.
As soon as your feet touched the ground Leia held you in a tight embrace. A tear escaped your eyes and landed on her shoulder. At last you felt safe.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You whispered in her ear. You felt her hand move up and stroke your hair.
“You tried (Y/N), you stayed with him all this time. That’s more that I could have ever asked for.” She pulled back. “Right now we’ve got to defend ourselves.”
“Where do you need me?” You pulled back, wiping your tears.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
You ran through the base with the rest of the Resistance, searching for a way out, when you reached a dead end.
“No, no, no!” A pilot named Poe exclaimed in defeat, kicking a rock. You went over and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Raising your hand, you closed your eyes and concentrated. On your command the rocks flew out the way to reveal an opening, where stood the woman you knew to be Rey.
“I was going to…” She trailed off, Finn running out to pull her into a hug. You smiled at the scene as you held the rocks in place until everyone was out.
“I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but I think we should get out of here.” You said, Rey looked up at you in shock. All you did was give her a sad smile in response, that seemed to be enough for her as you assisted with making sure everyone was on board.
After a few moments the ship took to the air, taking far away from Kylo Ren.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Kylo stormed to your chambers, he was an emotional wreck and he needed you. He barged in and shouted your name. When you didn’t respond he reached out using the force, but he couldn’t sense you. Immediately he feared the worst, rushing all over the ship to try and find you.
“Looking for your pet?” The voice of Hux sounded behind him. Kylo immediately clenched his fist upon hearing the cocky tone laced through his words.
“(Y/N) is not my pet.” He growled, keeping his face away from the General.
“I thought you’d like to know, Supreme Leader, that she’s gone. The security footage shows her leaving with the ship wih Rebel scum and a droid.” A thick silence filled the room and Hux had a terrible feeling that this revelation might result in his own death at the hands of the new, emotionally unstable, leader.
“Leave me.” Kylo’s voice was low and dangerous. Hux knew exactly what this meant, another destroyed room. Yet he did as ordered and left.
As soon as Hux left, Kylo let a out a sob, tears already flowing. He never cried, something he prided himself in, but the fact you were gone was too much for him. He loved you. He thought the force bond was enough to show that you both belonged together, clearly you thought otherwise.
Yes, he had gained supreme leadership, but he lost what meant the most to him. You. For the first time in his life, he was truly alone.