this is what i'm doing because i can't write anymore

I still remember the day when I told you I loved you, and you didn’t say it back. And I still ask myself why that was. So much of me wants to be grateful for the fact that you were kind enough not to tell me something that you didn’t mean–and I am. But I can’t not wonder what it was that made it so that you didn’t feel the same way. Sometimes I tell myself that I just reminded you too much of you, and it was harder to love me for that reason. Other times I tell myself it’s because of the way you liked my twin first, and so there was just no way that you’d slide into feelings for me so soon. What I really needed to know back then, those words that you wouldn’t tell me: What did I do wrong?
—  🖤

What time is it—? It’s hiatus time. Again.

Ehhh. Not like I feel many people would care because I’m almost permanently on hiatus at this point, but to put it lightly, depression is not very fun. I mean, I can barely function 99.9 % of the time, never mind write. I’ve really been trying but. nothing is coming anymore in terms of inspiration or even stringing words together. I’m generally just. not in a good place rn. And that’s not even scraping the surface right now with family stuff going on on the side.

But on a good note, I got my results back for my second year at uni and I got a 2:2 level. Which considering how I feel right now, I’m really proud that I was able to do that.

Feel free to add me on my Skype (mamoritaipromises), Discord (Laura#1231). Twitter (dolfabre) or on my personal, @seleniahanabira

Pro tip: do not get emotionally invested in a ship where even kissing may very well be a physical impossibility

blastedrandomness  asked:

I hope you read this, Mr. Hill, because I could really use some professional advice. What do you do when you just don't think you can write anymore? Not burned out, but just unable to pick up a pen and think creatively. I love writing, but I can't even look at my writing journal without feeling drained. What do you do in situations like this? Is this something I'm just going to have to push through? Thank you so much for your help and advice.

You can pop-start a dead motorcycle by riding it downhill in first gear, then letting out the clutch all at once. Sometimes the motor will turn over with a boom and your ride is back to life.

I look for one mean little sentence to get me going again. Something to pop-start the story. Like:

“Wind scoured the beach.”

“The shouting woke her.”

“The car began to slide in the wet snow.”

“Shell casings flashed in the weeds.”

Or I’ll try and get a couple of my characters talking. If you can find your way to an exciting character, a lot of times that will bring you emotionally back to your work… and dialogue is a reliable way to discover character.

Think about the way people don’t listen to each other, talk past each other, focus on their own weird little obsessions. Have fun with your characters’s fixations and eccentricities and unique manners of speech.

Are you reading anything good? One way to get excited about your own writing is to get excited about someone else’s.

Try sneaking up on it. Decide you’ll write one sentence, then fold some laundry for five minutes. Then you’ll write two sentences. Leave the pen and paper out where you can see them. In the middle of folding the underwear you might suddenly come up with a sentence you can’t wait to write. I write letters to friends that take me days. I just leave the stationery out and add to the letter whenever something interesting occurs to me.

Have a little mercy on yourself. If the best you can do is a paragraph, make it a great fuckin’ paragraph and then be done for the day. Go for a walk. No one day of writing matters all that much.

Remember to keep physically active. More and more I think this is the secret ingredient of a successful creative life. Go for a long walk every day - you’ll be surprised how often you come back with a few new ideas.

Good luck.

Because We Have A Hard Time Telling The Difference
  • stuff including jeremy: yes!!!
  • stuff including ray: yeah!!!
  • stuff including jeremy and ray: super good!!!
  • stuff including a ship with ray: woohoo!!!
  • stuff including ray and not jeremy before jeremy’s promotion: thats okay but if you talk about the au again add jeremy if you can!!!
  • stuff including ray and not jeremy after jeremy’s promotion: wait stop-
  • stuff including a ship with ray and everyone except jeremy: guys-
  • stuff excluding jeremy for no/a shitty reason: but my son-
  • stuff excluding jeremy for a valid reason: thats completely okay but try to add him sometime?
  • stuff excluding jeremy made by people that don’t acknowledge jeremy’s promotion: dude this isn’t-
  • “i like the original six better than the new six”: the only change is one person what the fuck
  • “i like ray better than jeremy”: okay but be a good parent and show love for all your sons equally
  • "jeremy's just a replacement": are you saying that you can never get new friends when you lose another? Or are you just an asshole?
  • "well this is set in the past": you didn't write it with that intention in mind unless it's a flashback or a backstory, don't lie
  • "i need ray for a [insert au] fic tho!": then have him come visit his friends time to time, he's allowed to do that as an adult
  • "are you saying i cant make ray stuff anymore!?": i'm saying include jeremy
  • "but what if it's specifically ray!?": that's fine, just don't have ray and everyone else except jeremy
  • "this fanart/fic doesn't have jeremy in it!": well if it was made before his promotion, then it's okay. you can't expect people to change stuff like that
  • "I don't know how to write/draw jeremy tho!": the best way to learn is through practice
  • "you can't police me and my works!": no, but you shouldn't be excluding someone just because you don't like him

RivamikaWeek, Day 2: Mikasa’s Birthday - a series of letters from Mikasa, written over the years after the fall of the titans. Post-Apocalyptic AU where Mikasa and Levi are the last ones left on Earth.

Second month, tenth day, 856th year

I don’t know if I should call it the 856th year, or the first. It certainly feels like a new beginning for me. But, I guess it doesn’t matter what I call it, since time doesn’t really have a name.
To say that I’m happy is a lie. There is nothing left for me, nor is there anything left for me to see. Even though I wanted to see the outside world, it was never my top priority. Everything I knew about the world was right there beside me, and nothing else seemed to matter.
It’s my birthday today. We had to find shelter in a cabin somewhere in the Northeast district, and we had to scavenge for our own food. When I say we, I mean Captain Levi is with me. He doesn’t know it’s my birthday, and I don’t think he’d care if he did.

Second month, tenth day, 857th year 

It’s been a little over a year since the fall of the titans. 
So far, no one else is alive. 
Levi and I have been searching through the Northern sections of the Walls, and not a single soul has come to meet us. Vegetation has overcome many of the villages, and wild animals outnumber us by the thousands. 
I am 17 today. This time, Levi knows. You come to know a lot about someone when you are the last people on Earth. 
But we are optimistic. There has to be people somewhere.

Second month, tenth day, 858th year 

Levi was close to killing himself today. I wouldn’t let him leave me on Earth alone. 
Not on my 18th birthday.

Second month, tenth day, 859th year 

We’ve searched everywhere. 
Humanity is gone. 
Levi made me a dagger. 
I had forgotten it was my birthday. 
It’s very beautiful. 
Why are we alive 
when we didn’t deserve to live

Second month, tenth day, 860th year 

The ocean is everything we thought it would be, and I’ve come to terms with my predicament and what I must do. 
I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, ever since we left the battlefield 5 years ago. 
I think, I knew. Knew why we ended up alone together. Knew why the last ones left were a man and a woman. Levi and I had talked about it many times, and every time both of us didn’t feel worthy enough. Even though he agreed, he didn’t want to go through with it until I loved him. 
It took me five years. 
Tonight, we will fulfill our duty on this Earth—rebuild it anew. It will be long before I write again. Wish me luck.

Second month, tenth day, 900th year 

Levi, if you found this, I will already have passed. I can’t thank you enough for all the hope you’ve given me all these years, and I’m sorry to be leaving you so soon. Even though we’ve had all the time in the world, I want to keep living for you. I want to stay here, with our children and grandchildren. I want to see what you do with the world, because I’m sure it will be beautiful. 
Eren, Armin, I’m coming home. I won’t have to write anymore. My time is done. I’m coming. I’m com…

anonymous asked:

I don't think we have any hope of a renewal/pick up anymore. The actors were released from their contracts, Fuller has other project, NBC cancelled it, Netflix/Hulu can't pick it up because of the Amazon deal. I'm sad to think it's really over.

This is why I hate people spreading those click bait articles, because THIS is what happens.

The actors being released from their contracts isn’t the end of the world - they can write new ones. None of them hate the show, they aren’t desperate to get away. They do alot because they want to. Every indication is that it is a very fun and productive atmosphere made up of people with the same or similar vision. hugh and mads are super free rn, they have no other commitments and they aren’t going to jump on the first tv that catches their fancy and lock themself to a different company for 5 years. They were ‘giddy’ at the season 4 idea, they’re probs going to want to make sure they can do it. Essentially, if actors can make the time (which by all indication they will want too) it’ll be totally chill.

Bryan Fuller had planned to do another series alongside hannibal when it started, he planned to show run BOTH, he’s not show running american gods (as far as I know) just writing. This isn’t damning for hannibal at all. On a normal schedule, they would begin writing season 4 in september/october, lets assume this renewal issue is going to extend that, he has the time to do both. 

No one said anyone else can’t pick it up because of Amazon, amazon can either make it easy or hard, rumour has it they’re making it hard, doesn’t make it impossible. When was something legal ever easy? fucking never.

(This is all repeats of stuff I’ve already said like 50 times today but if I need to say it again I will.)