this is what i'd totally do

Fake Chats #137
  • Jungkook: if I was really a cop, I'd totally arrest you.
  • Jimin: on what grounds?
  • Jungkook: of being too cute?
  • Jimin: wouldn't you just have to arrest yourself, then?
  • Jungkook: no.
  • Jimin: I think you would.
  • Jungkook: no.
  • Jimin: you're pretty cute.
  • Jungkook: but you're WAY too cute, is the point here.
  • Jimin: so you're gonna lock me up so only you can see me?
  • Jungkook: exact-, hang on. No, that's not what I mean.
  • Jimin: what do you mean, then?
  • Jungkook: see, this is precisely the sort of smug, adorable smile that will get you arrested.
  • Jimin: good thing you're not a cop then, huh?
  • Jungkook: doesn't prevent me from throwing you over my shoulder and taking you wherever I like.
  • Jimin: go ahead. I'll just steal your favorite shirts and hum your favorite songs while cuddling Tae.
  • Jungkook: that's illegal. I'll arrest you for that, too
  • Jimin: Jungkookie.
  • Jungkook: what?
  • Jimin: you're cute.
  • Jungkook: I don't like you. I'm locking you in my room.
  • Jimin: okay. Are we gonna cuddle all night? I wanna wear one of your big shirts.
  • Jungkook:
  • Taehyung: see, this is why you don't play these games with Jiminnie. He inevitably wins.
  • Jungkook: why are you always around to witness my pain?
  • Taehyung: is there really an answer to that question?
cold hard facts to prove that none of ur faves are straight

harry “basically-every-male-in-this-series-told from-my-pov–is-handsome” potter

- every male in this series is handsome as told from his pov
- (he’s also not white but that’s for another post xox)

ginny weasley
- aggressively bi
loves girls.
- and loves boys 
- that’s it
- it’s just a fact.
- the statement itself is my evidence.

ron weasley
bi crisis over krum

dean and seamus
i was gonna do these as different points but they’re so in love and obsessed with each other i can’t even separate them for this
- are in love.

sirius black
probably just a little bit in love with every single one of his friends
- but most of all lupin

remus lupin
probably just a lot in love with sirius
- no better metaphor for bisexuals than a werewolf

draco malfoy
- no one has ever been more obsessed with another human that draco with harry some of that HAD to be a little gay just sayin…

bill weasley
if u shorten his name it’s literally bi
- ??
- can’t get more obvious than that my friends
- also the werewolf thing

cedric diggory
- not a bad place for a bath harry wink wink
- white male that dies…what other reason than bury ur gays
- ???
- so gay it hurts

albus potter
- cc is complete bullshit and i will fight anyone that says otherwise but at least it’s basically totally canon that albus and scorpius are GAY AF

scorpius malfoy
- see above. 

  • Lance: How much do you love me
  • Keith: Immensely
  • Keith: I'd move mountains for you
  • Lance: Would you pick up some milk for me then??
  • Keith: woah let's not get too carried away here

anonymous asked:

i was wondering if you could whip up some fluffy hcs for the egos (in that amazing way of yours) because I love fluff and the egos. it's totally fine if youre busy or if you don't want to, I just thought I'd ask. thanks love 💕💕 - 🌱anon

i’ll see what i can do! 💚

  • wilford is always the last one to get out of bed in the morning. either dark has to go in and wake him or yandere goes to jump on him so wilford can bring him to school.
  • king of the squirrels enjoys laying on the couch with his head on another’s egos lap as they watch television. it’s one of the only times that king is calm and quiet.
  • dr iplier is the only one who has seen the host without his bandages.
  • dark and wilford seem to be the more parental™ of the egos. dark makes sure that everyone is in balance while wilford makes sure that everyone’s happy and content.
  • blue google tends to update at the worst possible times. that’s why he’s never allowed to cook anymore, since one time he ended up rebooting in the middle of making dinner and ended up burning the food. 
  • king can pretty much only say “i’m king of the squirrels”, but the host understands him perfectly and they have quite normal conversations.
  • ed is the only ego that actually has a kid, so he has a bit of fatherly instincts and tends to keep an eye on yandere and king of the squirrels (since i headcanon them being younger than the others).
  • the host enjoys playing little jokes. his favorite being curling up with a book and seeing which of the egos notice first.
  • the only time bim ever really gets mad is when he can’t hear the tv when the news is on. he loves watching the jim twins deliver the news and weather reports.
  • google oliver and bing have gotten pretty close over the while, bonding over the color yellow and constantly sending memes back and forth to each other. blue google disapproves. 
  • wilford tends to make sure everyone’s properly dressed in the morning before they go off to do their thing. wilford gets all excited when he gets to tie dark’s tie and bim’s tie when they’re dressed in their suits.
  • dark is the only good cook in the whole house. he pretty much spoils everyone at dinner each evening. each day he makes an ego’s favorite meal. they’re treat.
  • friday nights are typically movie nights for the egos, and sometimes it’s absolute chaos whenever they try to decide on which movie to watch. one time things got so bad that wilford shattered the tv with the remote.
  • when home alone, bim tends to sing disney movie songs and dance around in his boxers.
  • google’s body can change temperature, so during the cool nights, everyone just gathers around google for warmth. wilford falls asleep and ends up snoring loudly every time. 
  • dr iplier has a secret affinity for painting. he hangs his artwork at his office at the hospital or in his bedroom. it helps add a bit of color to the house.
  • dark enjoys putting on performances on the grand piano in the living room for the other egos. they in turn, enjoy giving dark song requests.
  • what she says: I'm fine
  • what she means: i can't believe people actually ship nancy with jonathan, because that completely goes against what the writers are trying to do. they set up your basic trope: good girl is trying to be #edgy and is dating your stereotypical "bad boy", and then this "nice guy" comes along and pays attention to her. listen, jonathan is great and all, but i don't trust pretentious creeps that like to take pictures of girls making out with their boyfriends in privacy without anyone's permission. jonathan also tried to put nancy in this box. "you were trying to be someone else." the writers totally destroyed the idea of nancy simply being that straight A student that wants to rebel. she's not dating steve, or drinking, or shooting guns because she thinks she's being "different". she's doing those things because THAT'S WHO SHE IS. you can get straight A's and want to do well in school while also partying and dating a hunk. speaking of the hunk, steve is actually wayyy better for her than jonathan (i mean i'd be happy if nancy decided not to be with anyone but let's be real i'm a total stevexnancy person) and here's why: he paid attention to her, like really noticed things about her. he didn't make fun of who she was in a condescending way, and he also supports her. like, yes, he's problematic in that he has shitty friends and horrible parents (from what we've heard) and while his initial decisions are rude and selfish, he becomes self-aware and tries to make it up to people. i.e., going to jonathan's to try and apologize and buying him a new camera, or coming to nancy to tell her he confessed to the police even though it got him in trouble, or telling his friends where to stick it and then going to help wash off the graffiti. in short, jonathan romanticized this version of nancy that wasn't really all of who she was and people paint him to be this great guy (would you trust a guy that took pictures of you without you knowing, and then only feeling guilty once you found out?) and steve is this beautiful work in progress that wants to understand how nancy works as a person. so basically the fact that the writers didn't leave nancy with jonathan means that they destroyed that basic story line where the "nice girl" leaves the "bad boy" for the "nice guy" and they did it in the best way possible without completely bashing any one character and i just really love this show.
  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: I'd consider myself a realist, alright? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist. I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, that accretion of sensory experience and feelings, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everbody's nobody. I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing. Walk hand in hand into extinction. One last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.

anonymous asked:

Hello~ I was reading your ask about fic recs centering around powerful Magnus, and you mentioned how some fics don't have Magnus as "a character in his own right," so I was wondering if you have any tips/general advice on what writers like myself should keep in mind when writing Magnus? Like Dos/Don't and which stereotypes to be careful of/avoid? (I figured I'd ask you since you love Magnus very much and i'm always scared of accidentally writing magnus as lesser, if that makes sense?) Thanks!

This is a good question! I should clarify that I’m not suggesting people shouldn’t write Alec-centric stories because obviously if you have a shorter story there maybe just isn’t room to explore another character. That’s totally fine and everyone has a certain character they identify with more. So that isn’t really what I mean when I call Magnus a prop. It’s more like there are certain trends I see in not just writing, but also meta and headcanons, that strikes me as problematic. For example:

Magnus the Waiting Waifu

Wherein he’s waiting for Alec to come home or call him or generally just existing only to be available instantly Alec. Magnus is the High Warlock, guys. He’s got better things to do. Between being the High Warlock and the Head of the Institute, Magnus and Alec probably have to fight tooth and nail to get time to spend together. I’d like to see more of this. I’d like to see Magnus waking up early to squeeze in a goodbye kiss before Alec leaves. I’d like to see Alec duck out between a hunt to bring Magnus coffee as he’s on his way to meet a client.

Like, there’s a ton of fics about Alec falling asleep on Magnus after coming home late, but few about the opposite even though in CoLS, it’s stated that Alec has trouble pulling Magnus away from his work and that it’s Alec who actually winds up going to bed alone on some nights. Speaking of which:

Magnus the Always Ready for Sex Bisexual

Magnus has hedonistic tendencies, but let’s not make it like he’s just ready to go at all times or that he’s always the one initiating between them. Sometimes he’s got other shit on his mind. Seriously, in the same scene in CoLS, Alec practically had his hands down Magnus’s pants and Magnus was literally like “Yeah ok maybe in 5 min.” 

Alec leaned into him, pinning Magnus between the table and his own body. Not that Magnus seemed to mind.

“Come on,” Alec said against Magnus’s ear. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

Magnus bit his lip and glanced over his shoulder at the papers on the table, his gaze fixed on ancient syllables in forgotten languages. “Why don’t you go on ahead?” he said. “I’ll join you—five minutes.”

“Sure.” Alec straightened up, knowing that when Magnus was deep in his studies, five minutes could easily become five hours. “I’ll see you there.”

It’s suggested this isn’t even a rare occurrence. Alec seems to know this trait of his after dating him only a few months.

Magnus the Unconditionally Supportive Boyfriend

Magnus is very patient and understanding with Alec. He’s kind, and as a whole he wants to see the right thing done. This is canon. But Magnus can also be petty and bitter and cynical. Sometimes he stirs shit just because he can and it amuses him (1.12, taking digs about Jace and Clary being siblings). This does not make him a bad person. I think it’s important to remember because while white characters tend to be allowed their flaws, POC are required to go above and beyond. Their mistakes are often less forgivable, blotting out any hint of good they otherwise have. So people either dismiss the character altogether or, if they like them enough, then the MOC is often rendered as Very Pure and his flaws completely ignored even if they may be addressed in canon as if acknowledging said flaws automatically ruins the character and makes them Bad rather than human. (This is just the other side of the same coin regarding what fandom does to white characters where their terrible deeds are acknowledged but woobified and excused and made totally okay.)

For instance, as early as 1.02, when Magnus chose to rescue his warlocks and leave Dot behind/ignore Clary’s need for help, there was bit of an outcry from fandom about how “Magnus would never do that.“ As if the entire fandom forgot moments in book canon where Magnus basically slammed the door in Jocelyn’s face when she came to him for help (Tessa had to convince him) or where he manipulated Clary into finding and giving him the Book of the White.

Magnus is 400 years old. He’s complex, occasionally ruthless, and has an exceptionally sharp tongue. Sometimes he projects his feelings. Sometimes his desire for self-preservation overrules his compassion. Sometimes he has his own agenda that takes precedent over other people. And yes, this includes Alec. (See 1.09 where he helps steal the cup.) Magnus’s priorities and self-interests being in conflict with Alec is not him being a bad boyfriend. It makes him a person and part of a growing relationship is two people navigating and making compromises. I’d like to see more people explore this rather than just constantly making Magnus Alec’s cheerleader.

Anyway, that’s the general gist of it. I have read good meta and fanfic, but there’s definitely a trend that can be seen, though this is really something that applies to all fandoms.

midnightfuckingmayor  asked:

Since you're getting some wonderful asks about weird Terran stuff, I'd also like to add human reactions to pain. I got my chin split open as a kid (which was not fun, wouldn't recommend it) and after the first burst of pain I was just annoyed. What if Terrans aren't as durable but they can handle an insane amount of pain?

Ooooh, let’s see… I can totally see that happening. Coupled with the fact that Yondu probably snapped at Peter not to cry – because it’s annoying, he says, but he simply can’t stand seeing or hearing it – the boy would refuse to do more than go very, very pale and still, like…

The Crack that can be heard when Peter falls off the wall he was supposed to climb over is as loud as any blaster fire, and it makes the escaping Ravagers stop dead in their tracks.


Tullk is the first one back at Peter’s side, trying to move the whimpering, panting child, but Peter gives a strangled sound and rolls tighter together, escaping his hands.

“Move!” Yondu bellows, shoving his men aside as he kneels down next to the child. “Quill. Quill, open yer mouth, what happened?!”

“My arm…!” Peter is talking through his teeth, but already pushing himself up to his feet. They are escaping right now, after all.

Yondu grips the boy’s uninjured shoulder, whirling him around that he can see the arm Peter holds limply against his chest. The forearm shows a strange swelling at one point, visible even through the child’s clothes.

“Tche. Broken.”

Peter goes pale at hearing that, but doesn’t blink, holds the red gaze boring into his. Takes a deep breath. “It’s… it’s okay.”


“Kid, hold on, that’s a clean fuckin’…”

“Yondu, we gotta go,” Peter insists, even though there are unshed tears prickling in his eyes.

The men go silent, both impressed and confused at the child’s behavior. Peter is very open with emotions, easy to read as any book (for those who could read in this crew). He also easily tears up when getting emotional or seeing things that a child shouldn’t see.

But here he stands, with a fresh fracture splitting his forearm, and doesn’t shed one tear. Apart from his clenched jaws and paleness, one wouldn’t even have been able to see that he was injured in any way.

Just what exactly are Terrans made of?

Yondu is asking himself the same thing, but he can’t deny the mixture of pride and satisfaction burning through his chest, quickly stomped down again. His decision is quick yet precise.

“Oblo, ya carry Quill. Tullk, ya stay on his left, Kraglin on his right side. Can’t lose ourselves a good lil’ thief. Now move yer asses, we’re outta ‘ere, boys!”


Peter hisses as Oblo lifts him onto his arms, carefully but quickly arranging the boy that he won’t be in the way and the broken limb won’t be jostled too much.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Oblo says as he starts running and Peter has to grit his teeth again as pain laces up his arm.

“’S okay,” Peter manages. “Really.”

“Terrans really are tough lil’ guys, huh?!” Tullk bellows with a wide grin, looking as if he wants to reach out and pat Peter’s shoulder, but stops at the last second.

“’S probably just how Pete is,” Kraglin argues, sending the grinning child a quick smirk. “Stubborn git.”

Peter sniffles, determined to keep the few tears from falling. That’s the first time the crew as a whole seems to respect him as their thief.

He’s not going to cry and ruin it.

what-the--heckie  asked:

@ the anon who is dealing with names and feeling comfy with them: Thats totally common! It can be hard to tell if you like a name or not if people arent calling you by that name! I was the same way and what I started doing was using the name I thought I'd prefer (Ray) for really simple things (Starbucks drinks, email newsletters, conversations with strangers). That way it isnt something thats difficult to change later but you still get to experience it, ya know? Hope that helps!


I was talking recently with a friend of mine who just recently got into Supernatural, and she asked me what would happen if an angel got splashed with holy water, and we accidentally created this incredible headcanon that it would literally make their skin sparkle and their hair do the beautiful floof thing and it would be very refreshing to them.

We then proceeded to come up with a scenario where Cas get’s a face-full of holy water and comes out all sparkly and Dean is just standing nearby trying to hide the fact that he totally has an anime style nosebleed going on.

While it honestly could go either way, if I had to make a guess at the moment I’d wager that isn’t Bendy’s voice for a few reasons:

1. “He will set us free.“ “He“ referring to Joey wouldn’t make sense if it’s Bendy speaking - Joey betrayed them, so why would they think he’d free them? If the line was from a flashback pre-lie, then it still doesn’t work - Joey was the one who brought them here, so why would he turn around and free him?

And if it refers to Henry, it doesn’t really make sense for it to be Bendy speaking either - something attacks you in Chapter 2, and we were told to “beware the ink“ - implying Bendy’s behind it, as ink’s kind of his thing. If he wanted Henry to free them, he wouldn’t be trying to murder his face off.

2. The whistling in the Chapter 2 trailer is definitely Bendy’s - it’s a parallel to Mickey’s whistling in Steamboat Willie, who Bendy parallels. However, there’s not much of a similarity between that and the voice, and it lacks the distortion that the voice has.

3. A minor one, but IRL Bendy still resembles the cartoon version, so logically he should have a voice semi-similar to it. However, the voice in the trailer doesn’t really sound cartoon-like in the slightest.

4. There’s also the question of if Bendy would want to be freed. He’s constantly smiling (unless he just can’t change his expression), he was leaning on the chair in the basement cutscene, and he moves the cutouts around for no reason other than to fuck with you. Seems like he’s really enjoying himself to me.

And don’t forget that not only is there the possibility of Boris coming back, but we’ve already got confirmation of new characters appearing - the voice could easily belong to one of them.

overcooked-fangirl  asked:

So you said no to marriage right now. After collage, if you do get 'no-homo-totally-friendly' married what do you think i'd be like? and do you think you'd go trough with it?

J: I think that would be pretty cool, ya know? Michael practically lives with me already and we are pretty close, so I don’t have a problem with it!