this is what i wanted to be when i grew up

daikithewolf  asked:

What was your introduction to SW? :D(sorry I just want to talk SW with you!! ^^;)

i grew up with it. my grandpa took my mom to see it when it came out and that eventually trickled down to me. it was always a part of my life, but i didnt really enter fandom until feelings resurfaced when ep 7 came out. that’s when i was like “ALRIGHT TIME TO TAKE A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE” so i got really invested 

Tagged by @ramari1600

Thanks frien ^^

1. morning rituals: Uhhhh I get up and take a shower, eat breakfast, makeup and stuffs, and I’m out the door… and somehow I wake up at 5:30 and only get out of the house at 7:00….. I’ve only just realized this too what the heck.

2. biggest fear: Not being there when someone needs me after I’ve promised that;; and spiders.

3. cloudy or sunny: uhhhhh a little of both? If i had to choose tho cloudy

4. a band you didn’t like at first but grew on you: Twenty One Pilots xD… I used to think they were stupid and too popular and annoying but oh boy has that changed.

5. song stuck in your head: rn? THE ENTIRETY OF HAMILTON

6. unrealistic dream: Head of storyboarding at some huge game company like Bethesda, as many flaws as they have, I have more hours logged into Skyrim then I’d ever want to admit.

7. dream superpower: Shapeshifting… I still can’t believe anyone would ever want anything else like you can have nearly all the other superpowers if you have shapeshifting come o n

8. any regrets?: My entire life?? (for the memes) Nah but actually I’m so far down the road of procrastination and just disinterest in so many school related things like… I love learning but this is stupid and I need to be s t o p p e d. Or forced to do things. (Did I just overshare? Have fun with that.)

9. superstitious?: Nahhhhh sonnnnnnnnn, but thriller and horror stories mmmm I am alllll about that.

10. something that makes you feel alive: I mean God, but als PHILOSOPY and VIDEO GAMES and HAMILTON AND MUSIC AND FRIENDS ESPECIALLY.

11. favorite genre of film: Thriller and horror are tied, Romance is a millisecond behind (but nothing tooooo cheesy… for the most part?)

12. favorite move: I think it’s always gonna be Howl’s Moving Castle cause yeah I mean what else is there….. Cause I could watch it over and over and over and ov

13. favorite season: FALLLLLLLL bc i be trippin 

^what the heck (but actually yes it is my fav)

14. favorite color: Purple fo lifeeeeee

15: fave foods: Lo mein, anything for taco bell basically, P I N E A P P L E O N P I Z Z A Y O U W O N T S A Y A N Y T H I N G I F Y O U W A N T T O L I V E

16: worst habit: procrastination

17: how many countries have you been to?: I doubt the existance of everything aside from (maybe) the entirety of America.

I tag @spillywolf @whatdowedoaboutcasifer @friggin anyone else who wants to do it bc i have but a few friends and they are all tagged.

T H A N KS I HOPE YOU ENJOYED GAZING JUST A TAD INTO MY SOUL

can i just say something?

when I was a kid, I told my mom that I wanted to be an actress when I grew up. You know what she told me?

She said, “sure, but you’re going to have to do it in China. America won’t hire you if you’re Asian.”

And that was it for that dream. 

Of course, that was just a phase - one of many, one I would’ve gotten over anyway. But what she said stuck to me. You’re going to have to act in China, because America doesn’t hire Asians.

And if there’s anything I learned over these years, it’s that she was right. Asian-Americans don’t get to see ourselves on screen. We don’t get to read about our deeds. And we get pissed. We complain, we shout, and people dismiss us because, oh, “the Japanese are okay with Ghost in the Shell”, and “I’ve heard that mainland Chinese are perfectly fine with Iron Fist.” Well, great for them. This isn’t about them.

This is about us. Asian-Americans. Asian-Canadians. Asian-Australians. Asian hyphen something. And the Asians in Asia don’t understand - because they can’t. They’re surrounded by media portrayals of them. They never have to fight for representation because it’s always there. They have no idea what it’s like to live in a country that sees you as other, and then to have to go back to your home country, to have your parents tell you “this is you, this is your culture, your heritage” and you look upon the faces of your family and you see nothing of yourself in them. 

Asian-Americans are not the same as Asians who live in Asia. We live in a different culture. Our values, our beliefs, the experiences that shape our lives are separate. 

We want to see ourselves in western media because it’s what we grew up with. It’s what surrounds us. Sure, we can watch K-dramas and anime and Chinese/Taiwanese/Japanese/whatever dramas, and a lot of us do, but it’s still not us

We shouldn’t have to go watch Asian dramas just to see a part of us represented. We shouldn’t have to move to Asia just to be hired. 

We deserve to represent, and be represented, as ourselves.

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she wants to say: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
  • Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
  • Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
  • BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
  • Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
  • And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
  • They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.
🍰 Cake Shop Asks 🍰

Cheesecake: What is your favourite sweet treat?

Pound Cake: A picnic on a summer’s day with all your favourite treats or a rainy day in a cozy coffee shop with a book?

Chocolate Fudge Cake: What song can always make you dance/feel good?

Strawberry Shortcake: Name five of your favourite fictional characters.

Vanilla Cake: How do you spend a lazy, rainy day?

Coconut Cake: A lazy, beautiful tropical paradise or a busy, wondrous city?

Angelfood Cake: Tell us a cringey childhood story. 

Chocolate Cake: What was the last movie you saw? Did you enjoy it? Why?

Red Velvet Cake: Name your ultimate guilty pleasure. 

Ice-cream Cake: What is your go-to ice-cream order (toppings included!)?

Princess Cake: Name some of the things you wanted to be when you grew up. 

Fairy Cake: If you could live in one imaginative land (eg: from a book, movie, etc), where would it be and why?

Mooncake: What is your Chinese zodiac sign (eg: Year of the Rooster, etc)? 

Carrot Cake: What does someone have to do to get you to be their friend? 

Birthday Cake: What is on your birthday wishlist? 

Victorian Sponge Cake: You are at a shop that sells body lotions, soaps, shower gel, etc in lots of different smells. What scented lotion do you get?

Lemon Cake: What/who makes you smile the most? 

Coffee Cake: How do you usually take your coffee/tea? 

Italian Cream Cake: Name five of your top travel destinations.

It’s fun having to walk on eggshells at home

It’s fun staying in one room all the time.

It’s fun not being able to do what you want at home.

It’s fun always looking over your shoulder.

It’s fun being hyper-aware of where your parent is at all times.

It’s fun getting yelled at over anything and everything.

It’s fun having no energy to do basic cleaning.

It’s fun getting yelled at for not doing said cleaning.

It’s fun having to spend all your energy just to minimally function and deal with all the yelling.

It’s fun always weighing whether doing something (or not doing something) is better or worse than getting yelled at.

It’s fun always wondering if you forgot something and if you’ll get in trouble for it.

It’s fun always holding your breath when you’re in the same room or area as your parent.

It’s fun not being able to say you have a mental illness.

It’s fun knowing either they suspect or just don’t care and continue to yell at you for things you can’t do.

It’s fun never feeling truly safe or truly at home.

It’s fun having nowhere else to go.

It’s fun not being able to get any help.

It’s fun being isolated and alone.

My dear lgbt+ children, 

“When i was young, there were girls and there were boys, and the girls loved the boys, and everything was so much easier.” 

I had a conversation about this blog a few weeks ago with a women considerably older than me. She was interested and wanted to understand “all those weird words” i use in my letters. She knew what gay means and had heard bi before but wasn’t sure what it means, so you can imagine that words like pan, asexual, nonbinary, demigirl… were entirely alien to her.  

She listened and nodded to my explanations, and she didn’t say a hostile word about any label. However, when i had explained all the words she pointed out, she shook her head and said the sentence above. “…and everything was so much easier.” 

I’ve been thinking about this remark a lot. To me, it encapsulates the big thinking mistake many people fall for. 

I have said before that i grew up in a rural, small town, the same this elderly women grew up in. I’m fairly sure that there were indeed only girls and boys here in her childhood and that the girls loved the boys. In the same way, i believe there were no kids with dyscalculia living here - not because kids with learning disorders did not exist but because there was no awareness that they exist and so people just called them stupid or lazy instead. 

In fact, there have always been lgbt+ kids. They, and the people in their lives, just didn’t knew the term “lgbt+” yet. They couldn’t be their true self because society didn’t allow that yet. And so girls married boys - not because all girls loved boys but because there was no other option. 

Was that easier? Sure, for the elderly woman i talked to, it was. That’s because she was a girl who loved a boy. In her little world, all was well and she didn’t need words for anything else. It was easier - for cis heteroromantic heterosexual people. 

But all “those weird words”, all the labels we nowadays use and talk about, didn’t randomly fall down from a tree some day. We invented them because for us, for the ones who didn’t fit in that little world, it was not easy. 

The big thinking mistake, as so often, is “I don’t need this, so nobody needs this. I’m not that, so nobody is that.” or in the words of a wise little bird “I feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?” 

So, my dear, if you feel bad because you use all those fancy new words, think about the generations of lgbt+ people before you who might smile down at you from heaven now and think “Oh, finally, there’s a word for people like me!”. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

anonymous asked:

I know Steve gets in a lot of dumb fights now, but what was the stupidest fight he got into pre-serum?

we grew up mostly during the prohibition, when alcohol was illegal. i mean, it was still pretty easy to get your hands on some, because people like alcohol, but most of it tasted awful, because it was home-brewed to be as strong as possible.
anyway, stevie and i got a bit of some really terrible hooch and squirreled ourselves away to get drunk. it took steve about four drinks to be totally wasted, and it turns out steve is a pretty entertaining drunk, with crazy fast mood swings and a tendency to want to touch things, just to see how they felt. he was wandering around the apartment trying to figure out if dark colors or light colors felt better, and he wanted to see if my hair–a nice dark color, versus his light blonde–felt nice. so i let him run his hand over the top of my head, and i was teasing him because he had all the fine motor control of a baby, so he’d made a mess of my hair. i think i said something like ‘my hair’s terrible now, stevie, and now nobodys gonna respect me’ and steve went ‘NO!! you have nice hair bucky your hair is GREAT it is SO GREAT.’ which was nice of him, because my hair really was a mess.

 and then he punched me.

he punched me several times. 

drunk steve is not much of a brawler so he didnt do much damage before i tipped him over and sat on him. it wasnt much of a fight. but if youre looking for stupid, attacking me to defend my own hair is probably one for the history books.

sometimes i miss wee steve, because big steve thinks my hair is ridiculous. i bet if tiny drunk steve were around, hed try and fight captain america to defend my hair’s honor. now that’d be a fight worth watching

“Worth It”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: In which a friendship drastically changes due to an all-campus text alert about a strange man wandering the campus.

A/N: Another one from draft-purgatory. It feels weird releasing it into the wild.

“I hate you. So. Much,” Bucky deadpans, looking up from a stapled packet of papers. “It takes me two weeks to write something of this quality, yet you pulled it off in two hours.”

"We’ll know if it’s really ‘quality’ when Professor Coulson gives it back,” you yawn, snatching the 18-page research paper from him.

“How do I obtain your kind of focus? What’s your secret?”

“The startling realization that a deadline is actually 8am and not 8pm.”

The brunette stares at you as if you just grew a third eye on your forehead. “You’re either completely insane or a brilliant genius,” Bucky sighs with either admiration or exasperation.

“Well, all this insane genius wants to do right now is sleep,” you sleepily murmur as you slide your paper back into your bag.

“Too bad Coulson docks points if you’re absent.” Bucky swings his messenger bag around and swiftly zips it open and pulls out a bottled iced coffee. “Take this,” he nudges.

“For me?”

“No, for the unicorn behind you,” Bucky sarcastically says, pushing the iced coffee towards you. “I can tell by your dark circles that you didn’t sleep much.  Take it, you have class until 8pm today,” he insists.

Touched, you take the iced coffee and scrunch up your face in a cute way, but you don’t know that, of course. “You’re one of a kind, James Barnes,” you grin.

Bucky crosses his arms against his chest, a slightly peeved look crossing his face. “How many times did I ask you not to call me 'James’?“ he defeatedly sighs.

"A little less than a million times.” You laugh as Bucky looks like he can’t decide on laughing with you or strangling you, but both of you know that you’re absolutely right.

Keep reading

You know what I want to see in season 2? 

Yuri and Mila becoming best friends. 

Just picture it: 

  • Mila giving Yuri flirting/dating tips when it comes to Viktor, since she practically grew up with him, she probably knows what will make Viktor weak to his knees, and makes Yuri say all these ridiculous things to Viktor that absolutely embarass him, but they always work.
  • Mila helping Yuri choose outfits for his dates with Viktor, when he wants to look a little extra nice for him, and then Mila decides that Yuri’s closet is too dull and goes shopping with him. 
  • Yuri helping Mila with her ridiculous crush on Sara, and lets her complain about Mickey and how he always shows up just when she’s about to make a move on Sara.
  • Mila teaching Yuri how to say certain words and phrases in Russian to surprise Viktor. Such as “darling”, “sweetheart, “I love you”, and most importantly: “please do the dishes”. 
  • Mila and Yuri watching sappy romcoms together, and then compare the love interests with Viktor and Sara. 
  • Mila helping Yuri master his “mature Eros”, because let’s face it; Yuri’s Eros will not be “innocent” anymore after he moves in with Viktor ;) 
  • Georgi eventually also joins in with their friendship and they help setting him up with dates. 
2

Let’s talk about this for a minute.
It’s been weighing heavy on my mind ever since I realized that this was Guzma’s home where he grew up, and it only bugs me more the more I see people saying that Guz is the one who bent them over his father, which I actually really disagree with, and I’ll explain why.

Golf clubs in media/storytelling are always there to symbolize one of two things: a business man, or in the case of bent ones, a grown man with anger issues.

You’d see it frequently in older sitcoms and cartoons like the Flintstones or Donald Duck. The iconic image of a character losing his temper when he misses the hole and beating his golf club against the ground in a slapstick fashion.

The major point I want to make is that they are never used to represent angry children. What do angry children get as representation? Broken, disfigured toys, highlights of temper tantrums, but never dented golf clubs.

I point you back to my other post about his trophies and the fact Guzma, himself was a really awesome kid back then. He was incredibly talented. He aspired. He was proud of his achievements as blatantly shown to us if we check the photos left of the bedroom door. These are not traits of an angry kid with a natural inclination towards violence.

I’m not saying that Guzma didn’t beat the shit out of his old man. Obviously he did. But somehow I doubt he used the golf clubs. That’s just not what they were put there to suggest.

They’re there specifically to show that his father was a very angry man. That, if you didn’t gather that alone from his talk of “trying to set him straight”, he was very abusive. He was probably the kind of parent who’d say if the trophy’s not gold it’s garbage, breaking his son down by refusing to see his achievements as anything other than failures.

Guzma was a good boy. But the key word there is “was” because even good boys are bound to snap if pushed too far.

. Edit: People are wondering where this is so… This is the house on Route 2, which is confirmed Guzma’s as you’ll find him here post game.
Reminder:
  • The man elected is not king, he can’t do whatever he wants, he cannot simply decide on a course of action and it take effect immediately. He has to work with the other elected officials and has proven time and again he does not play well with others. 
  • He is not the first disaster in office, just the most recent, we’ve had disasters aplenty in office and survived their idiocy, we will survive this too. 
  • Do not do anything rash, do not let despair over this choice lead you to do something that you will not be able to look back in four years and go “well thank fuck that’s over.” It’s gonna be bad for a while, the people who agree with his beliefs feel justified, for those in states where this sort of bigotry and hatred are already the norm, you should already know what to do. 
  • Don’t go out alone always bring a friend with you if you are concerned about your neighborhood, do carry some form of legal protection to help ease your anxiety. 
  • Do not let panic lead to you make a terrible decision by turning to something illegal, do take this time to breathe in slowly, hold it, let it out, and keep your head. 
  • Think positively! Yes, we’ve only had two impeachments, almost 3 but Tricky Dick resigned before they could, but there are precedents.
  • He thinks like a business man not a politician, he’s going to get shut down more than those people that came up with shitty business plans on that show he had ages ago that was also shitty…
  • You have friends here to talk to if you don’t feel like leaving your home other than for work, we will listen to your fears and not mock you, we will let you vent if some jackass talks out of turn, we will be here for you to find an escape from the possible increase in idiocy especially from certain states where bigotry is already the norm.
  • Do not stew in the possible harsh words or propaganda, you don’t have to put it on your blog, you have Tumblr IM, there’s Skype, there’s Chatzy for crying out loud. Find an outlet with your friends without worrying about anons hitting you up being jackanapes.
  • You are not alone in your panic, there are thousands, probably millions, who are also suffering anxiety but he’s just one man, not the end of the world, just the end of a term of office that was calmer.
  • Any one of your mutuals is here for you to lean on when the freak out becomes too much, and i know each of you has at least one mutual who is more than willing to write any sort of thread you need to lose yourself in your ship, whether it be romantic or just fraternal or utterly ridiculous.

B R E A T H E . the world didn’t end, just some common sense went into a coma, you’re gonna be okay.

He doesn’t want you back, no not at all: but you are insisting, and at some point insisting is what you have left from him. Insisting is what he is considered to be. Insisting is the newest shape of him. Insisting.
I know you grew older, laying in bed at 1 am thinking of calling him once again but then it hit you that he might take it lame. And I understand he was never really yours and I don’t think he ever cared but when you’re young in love with an older boy and your heart gets shattered; well you are too late to realize you’re the one who’s left picking up the pieces he broke you into.
—  How she loved an older boy. 
Criminal Minds men as things I've done
  • David Rossi: my first grade teacher yelled at me not to slouch and I was feeling particularly defiant that day so I slid under my desk and laid like that until she removed my overdramatic ass
  • Jason Gideon: when I was 7 I was given a baby to hold and I really hated babies so I held it away from me at arms length
  • Derek Morgan: I once asked a mall santa for world peace
  • Luke Alvez: as a small child I hugged a stranger in 7/11 instead of my dad and played it off by hugging everyone in the store
  • Aaron Hotchner: when they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up at preschool graduation I meant to say a professional/workaholic but what came out of my 4 year old mouth was ”a briefcase”
  • Spencer Reid: as a toddler I named a goldfish long orange boy
  • Stephen Walker: I was alone playing the piano in my high school band room once and a random teacher walked in to tell me it sounded pretty but it was a song from spongebob so I started dying laughing
What I’m talking about when I’m talking about Soft Bucky

If Steve’s Mister Leadership, then Bucky’s Mister Nurturing.  He grew up the eldest kid in a busy family and there’s no way he doesn’t know a thing or two about infant care.  Soft Bucky who had always harboured some little aspiration of going to college, but gladly took a job out of school instead because his family was stretched thin enough as it was.  Soft Bucky who dreamed of one day spending the summer in a cabin in the mountains with Steve, where Steve could practice his sketches and Bucky could finally write that novel he knew he had in him; the clean air would do them both good, he reasoned, and you could see so many more stars without the city lights to get in the way.  Soft Bucky who wanted to show all the wonders of the universe to Steve.  Soft Bucky who always had Steve’s back in a fight, and was there to ice down his bruises and bandage his scrapes.  Soft Bucky who was never afraid to give Steve a damn good talking to when he was too stubborn to slow down and put his own needs first.  Soft Bucky who’s always longed for a little family of his own, but never really let himself dream of it because fellas like him didn’t get to dream of nice things like that when he was coming of age and realising that the only person he ever wanted to make a little life with was his best friend Steve.

Soft Bucky who was proud to be posted with the 107th when he was drafted, and was the damn best at what he did because he wasn’t about to let his men down, not because he revels in battle, but because he is loyal and kind.  Soft Bucky who’s first question when Steve burst in to save him (because of course, if anyone was going to be there exactly when he needed someone, it was going to be Steve), suddenly so strong and tall, was not how it happened or what amazing things he could now do, but whether it hurt.  Soft Bucky, who quietly deferred when he saw that he was not the only one who looked at Steve and saw that he was made of the most beautiful stardust in all the universe, whose love would become a ghost story, a tale told in a whisper, an almost, and a can’t-be, because that was all a fella like him could hope for in those days, but Steve was happy, and he would be grateful for that.

Soft Bucky who fought and fought and raged before he would let himself become submerged, until there was nothing and no-one left to live for, who watched some blank and ersatz version of a person using his body, over and over, for things he could never unsee, clawing at the walls of his mind, until Steve and his stupid stubborn fists punched through with a few little words and set him free, and in his shame and confusion, for fear of the hurt he had done, he ran.

Soft Bucky who spent two years keeping his head down, drifting from country to country while he pieced together his history, following a labyrinthine treasure map until he found himself.  Soft Bucky who could have spent those two years, and all the intelligence he had in him, hunting down all the people who had hurt him and picking them off just as easily as he could shoot a row of cans off of fence posts with a sniper rifle, but who chose not to take revenge.  Soft Bucky, whose revenge is just to live, and be kind.

I’m talking about Soft Bucky who at first was afraid to tell Steve how much he remembered to protect him, who was so torn between regret that he had caused Steve so much trouble, and gratitude that, at long last, he is back where he belongs.

Soft Bucky who’s going to be in therapy for years, who still wakes up in a cold sweat, haunted; soft Bucky who bristles at the idea of taking orders, of being controlled, who mentally maps out all the potential exits every time he enters a room for the first time, but slowly lets himself feel safe.  Soft Bucky who has friends he loves who love him too.  Soft Bucky who finds purpose in using his hands to create rather than to destroy: kneading flour and water together into soft dough to bake bread, feeling the comforting scrape of pen against paper as he scribbles down old memories and new stories in his many notebooks - and later, using wood reclaimed from old barns to build beautiful nursery furniture as they await the arrival of the new member of their family.

Soft Bucky who still upbraids Steve in no uncertain terms if he catches him going out without a scarf in winter, who loves his family and friends more than words can say, who likes going to the farmer’s market on Saturdays and brunch on Sundays.

Soft Bucky who lives with gratitude and love, who finally gets to live the things he never let himself dream of, because somehow, he and Steve woke into a world where fellas like him can, so they do.

That’s what I’m talking about.

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.
—  John Lennon
I just want to know.

I just want to know your birthday and your parents jobs and if you ever heard them fighting and the worst argument you’ve ever gotten into and what you wanted to be when you grew up when you were seven and your dream vacation and the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you and if you’ve been to therapy and if it helped and the hardest thing you’ve experienced and how you overcame it and your favorite movie and which books changed your life and the hardest you’ve ever cried and which grandparent you loved the most and if the words “we need to talk” make you sick to your stomach and why and which holiday is your favorite and which season and which color and if you like rain and if you’re scared of dying and if you believe in God and if you have allergies and to what and what your favorite food is and restaurant and if you like to cook and whether or not you care about cleanliness and what your political views are and your favorite flower and song and if you’d rather own a cat or a dog and or both and if you’d shave off all your hair to give it to a little girl going through chemotherapy and where you’d like to live and honeymoon and what kind of gum and candy you like and what you act like when you’re mad and if you’d rather someone buy you silver or gold jewelry or neither and what clique you were in in high school and what you think your spirit animal is and which flower you’d be and who you admire and which traits you wish were more dominant and if you ever worry you’re a shitty person and what hurt you the most and why you ever thought you were worthless and how someone can make you feel better when you’re sad and if you prefer hugs or kisses or both and what your dream car is and which celebrity you think lives the most tragic life and why you think people become so cold and what you think about nature vs nurture and if you believe in heaven and aliens and mermaids and reincarnation and which feeling is your least favorite and what was the best day you ever had and what would be the best day and if you see yourself as the protector or one who needs protecting and how you deal with your pain and what you would do if you had 100 million dollars and if you think wealth affects people’s morals and what good you think writing is and if you could do it all over would you and what would you change and what mistake was your biggest and which language you wish you spoke fluently and how many people you’ve loved and if you realize you’re remarkable and what your enneagram is and how you think we could improve the education system and what you think of people who commit suicide and if you think they’re selfish and what you would say to them before they did it if you could and what your favorite memory of your childhood is and how you take your tea or if you prefer coffee and when you last wrote someone a handwritten letter and what the best gift you ever received was and what the best piece of advice was and when the last time you cried was and if you’re competitive about board games and which is your favorite and what you notice first in a person and what your top three pet peeves are and if you have any phobias and what you’ve always wanted to do but don’t have the courage to go through with and what you do when you feel overwhelmingly sad and if you ski or snowboard and if plastic surgery was 100% safe and painless, would you get it and where and why and where you think home is and if you think politeness is important and what you think of indecisive people and if you think there’s ever a reason to go to war and something that scares you and what you want in life and what you look for in a partner and what you want to change about yourself and about the world and who you want to be and who you are. I just want to know.

About that neck touch...

So after spending way more of my life than is probably healthy looking at and analyzing every single shot from this episode that could possibly be construed at Destiel-related, even a TINY BIT, I realized that there is one shot people seem to not discuss very much…

Now. I know what you’re saying–”but we’ve TALKED about the hand-holding!” And yes, my friends, hands touching are always worth discussing (and discussing…and discussing…), but what I want to talk about is Dean’s OTHER hand…

Now…I am a theater child. I grew up doing shows. And I know that actors tend to be touchy-feely people, even when they are just friends. It’s what they do. My friends and I had no problem treating one another like armchairs half of the time, sitting in one another’s laps, leaning our heads on each others’ shoulders. So whenever people start pointing at some of these touches as evidence of Destiel, one part of me gets very excited, while the other part says “now hang on, you and your friends totally did this same stuff and it didn’t mean anything other than that you were friends.”

But.

In this shot, Dean doesn’t JUST touch Cas’s hand, or even his back. From what I can see of this shot, he puts his hand on the lower part of Cas’s neck. Now even I, my touchy-feely-theater-person-self, would never have touched the back of a friend’s neck. That is just getting a little bit too intimate for friendship. That is not what friends do, even the most lovey ones.

That is what my boyfriend does.

Note, too, how Dean’s hand lingers on Cas’s neck (or upper back, as he does seem to slide it down slightly after the initial contact). He maintains contact until Cas breaks it to turn around, a gesture of comfort both for Cas and himself, of reminding himself that Cas is here and is really okay.

Folks, this is not the touch of someone who is just a friend, nor is it an unintentional gesture made by actors who are just doing what touchy people do. This is the gesture shared by two characters who are much, much closer than just friends. And it, even more than the hand-clasping, set my heart to fluttering :).

i really need someone to do a voice over of a parody of the salt and pepper diner standup but with stan. just pretend tom jones’ whats new pussycat was a thing in the 60s because it sounds like it would be
so it would go as the following:

“I want to tell you one story. Uh, this was the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, alright? This happened when I was eleven years old in Glass Shard Beach, NJ where I grew up. And it took place at a little restaurant called the Salt & Pepper Diner, which was a family restaurant downtown. Yes, yes you know the Salt & Pepper Diner? It’s a wonderful family restaurant near the Seaside Heights area, which means that it caters mainly ta doowop puppy-love teenagers and homeless schizophrenics.

Now, I go in to this place one day when I’m eleven with my brother Stanford. Now, I should say that his name is also Stan. I’m not callin’ myself my own brother. It’s a seperate human being.

We walk into the Salt & Pepper Diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, alright? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in seven dollars, and selected 21 plays of Tom Jones’ ‘What’s New Pussycat’.
And then we ordered… and waited.

Here’s the thing about when What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again: The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not, “Hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again,”
It’s, “Hey… What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought.”

And it has like, a dip in the middle. Y'know how some songs have a dip like Guns N’ Roses’ ‘November Rain’? You’re like, “Hey! November Rain is over!”
No it’s not.
There’s more.

The third time it plays you’re thinkin’ okay, maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.
The fourth time it plays, you’re thinkin’ “WOAH. Someone just played WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT FOUR TIMES. Or at least, someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.”

So, the fifth time’s the kicker.

Now we’re watchin’ the entire diner at this point. Most people have gotten wind as to what’s goin’ on. And we’re starin’ at this one guy and he’s sittin’ in his booth, and his hand is shaking while his stupid kids jump around and like, he’s been on to us since the beginning.

And he’s starin’ at his coffee cup like this and he has this look on his face like he just got his 30-day chip from anger management.

And he’s sitting like this, and the fourth play fades out…

It’s dead quiet…

And then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins… very suddenly,
BWAAAAAAAAA BWAAAAAMP WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT” and the guy goes “GOD DAMN IT” and pounds on the table, and silverware flies everywhere, and it was faaantastic.

But a word about my brother Ford, and what a genius he was.
Because when we were first up at the jukebox, and we were punchin’ in the What’s New Pussycats, alright?
I punched in about seven, and then Ford says to me, “Hey hey hey, wait. Before we drop in another What’s New Pussycat, let’s put in one It’s Not Unusual.”
And THAT is when the afternoon went from good to great!

After SEVEN What’s New Pussycats, in a ROW, suddenly… 🎶Dum tss da dum tss, dum da da da da da tss,🎶
🎶It’s not unusual🎶

And the SIGH OF RELIEF that SWEPT through the diner, people were ecstatic.
It was like the liberation of France!

Y'know for years scientists have wondered, can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’ ‘It’s Not Unusual’? And the answer is, yes. You can. As long as it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats.

And on the other hand… when we went back…

Holy shit.

It’s Not Unusual fades out…

It’s dead quiet…

BWAAAAAAAAA BWAAAAAMP WHAT’S NEW PUSSY CAT
People went fucking insane. No one could handle it. NO ONE could handle it!

And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff y'know that was just like, “Yep. Same shit as always!”

My only wish is that one of the schizophrenics had stood up and been like, “Now you know. Now you know what it’s like to live in my brain.”

They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And THAT was the best meal I’ve ever had.”