(i wrote most of it yesterday when the news of Neymar wanting to leave was confirmed hence the usage of today)
It’s hard to describe how I feel today… So incredibly hard.
When I read the news this morning it
didn’t really hit me if I’m being honest. I just felt numb. Trying to find more
news and just posting it, but not feeling much.
Not feeling how I felt for the last two weeks when the press in Brasil first reported about it. When it was just Sport I ignored the news and laughed it away. I found it hilarious, but when Marcelo Bechler of Esporte Interativo the following day said it was a done deal and he was on his way to PSG in the upcoming weeks I felt a shock. I felt anxious and sick. I wanted to act like it was nothing, but Brazilian media also reporting it? That made me worry… When I saw – in the following days – every other big Brazilian news station/paper also confirming the news (especially Globo) I knew I had every reason to freak out.
Some people may have thought I overreacted or even called Globo unreliable or were – as always – plain rude to me acting like I was a hysterical teen… But look at where we are today…
Neymar is leaving FC Barcelona. He’s
leaving us. He’s leaving the club I love so dearly and always have and always WILL
support. I’ve said it times again: with or without Neymar I AM a culé for life.
He just broke my heart today… And not just today, but these last two weeks have been so emotionally draining. The news went reliable so quickly, but then Geri gave us hope with ‘Se Queda’. I really thought he would stay, but the rumors kept going and Geri had to say it was just a Tweet of how he felt… After that everyday was again like a rollercoaster for me emotionally. One hour I had hope, then the next I felt down again after reading something. I don’t think I’ve ever used Twitter as often – on my mobile – as in these past two weeks. Afraid I would miss something positive, but the positive news never came again after ‘Se Queda’….
But how much I may hate this Brazilian kid now, with his god awful hairstyles, terrible sense of fashion (aka none at times) and ALWAYS surrounded by some kind of on- or off-field drama: I know deep down inside I can not hate him.
This kid stole my heart ever since I saw the first video of him at Santos. When Barça was rumored to be buying him I HAD to know more about this kid. Of course I’ve heard his name – I think everyone in football did – but I didn’t know much about him. I started with the football videos, but then I saw some funny moments and wanted to know more and more about him. His episodes showed me what a humble kid he was, but also a cocky little fucker (and I mean that in the nicest way. You know what I mean if you know Santos Ney).
Here at Barça he stole my heart like no other player ever did. I like the Brazilian type of play: the ‘Joga Bonito’. Dribbles, tricks (who some may hate but I love them), the passion and playing with so much happiness. He has all of that combined plus a very fun and nice personality.
I’ve made this blog – mainly about him – a couple years ago, because I wanted to talk about football with people who love the sport as much as I do. Some of you might think I don’t have a social life, yet luckily – or sadly sometimes friends can be a pain in the butt HAHAHA – I have.
Yet sometimes I think I know more about him than my own friends. I’ve come to know so much about him that just by looking at him I can tell how he feels. When I see him smile in photos of videos I can tell if it’s genuine or if it’s just for the camera’s. For example – and maybe some of you can remember this - how I last year around October/November I think I said Neymar looked off. I’ve never really explained why I thought that nor did any of my anons agree or understand me, but it is something I’ve been thinking about a lot since this thing started…
After all these years of following him I’ve seen many of his ups and many of his down. He is temperamental – and probably will always be – sometimes still annoys me with diving (that will stick with his name forever I’m afraid) and sometimes he just doesn’t think when he does something on/off the field. I protect him when I can and when he deserves it. And I always protect his privacy when I get send things on here that I know would cause a lot of controversy.
However I’ve seen him grow so much as a player and as a personality in these 4 amazing years at FC Barcelona. After a tough first season he became a part of one of the great forward trio in football: M S N. He scored, assisted and showed amazing things on the field and besides trophies he was also voted in the top 3 of the Ballon d’Or. The pride I felt when I heard he was one of the finalists and saw him going to Switzerland to go to the gala was immense. Many tears of joy were shed when I saw he was nominated and when I saw him on that podium. He became an established and important player for us and has been ever since.
He gave us – and me - so many beautiful and funny moments: Remontada is what we will all forever cherish and showed us how he stood up and took the lead. That goal in his first Champions League final against Juventus and the happiness afterwards, his everlasting love for hamburgers during our parades and seeing his amazing bound with some of the players on our team. What about the end of NeyMessi, NeyFinha, PiqueMar and NeyRez… You could see him being so close to them.
But one of his most beautiful moments
for Barça defiantly was his goal against Villarreal. The combination of his
first touch of the ball, skill, trick and then goal is just Neymar captured in
A new phase has come by in his
career: now he’s off to PSG to be a leader of a team. A reason I can
understand, because we all know Leo is the leader here and will be until the
day he decides to leave us. With his brilliant form that shows, he’s in no way
slowing down and I can understand his decision to leave and be a leader of another
He’s not a Masia player, he doesn’t owe us that loyalty that we want from our youth players. He’s not obligated to stay here and if I’m quite honest I never thought he would play only here in Europe. There was too much rumors surrounding him– a player with a contract for years – and every transfer window too make me believe he would stay at us and go back to Brasil when he’s done in Europe.
The many Brazilians at PSG probably also helped to make his decision easier and lets not forget the insane amount of money he will earn. I mean no one wouldn’t think about that kind of money and he decided to take it. I don’t think it was his main reason to go, but you can all have your own opinion about it.
Of course this whole transfer saga went on for way too long. I think the tour played a really big part in the delay and made him truly doubt his decision to leave. He will come out with a statement when it’s officially announced. I’m sure of that and that’s also what I need of him and what many of us want from him.
The hate towards him was difficult to read and so many went overboard with it. It’s understandable he’s not loved by many Cules anymore, it’s understandable that you doubt who you supported for the 4 years he was here, but I hope that you also won’t forget the great memories he gave you, the fans and the team. The amount of times he let you laugh because of his singing and dancing or killed us with hot ‘Princesa’ Rafinha posts… I get it might take time for many to get over this, but I hope eventually the people that hate him now will be able to see him at least normally again.
For me the combination of him at Barça was ideal: My fave club & my fave player. How much I want to say that I won’t follow him anymore I know that won’t be true… I know I will be behind the tv or my laptop, but this time I won’t be rooting for a team I will just be rooting for him to do well. I can’t and won’t ever cheer for PSG. I will be cheering for him to win prices, making assists and to show me that Barça magic. But for him only (Ok, and maybe a little for Kevin too haha). You know a couple months ago when we played against them I said I hoped we would get a selfie of him and Kevin…. I didn’t think I would get it with them being teammates…
I will forever be sad about the fact that the one weekend I could have seen him up insanely close (within my touch) he had to be sick. The fact that I won’t ever get to see him play in a FC Barcelona shirt live will be my biggest football regret. Because now I will see him play for PSG instead…
He is taking a HUGE risk by leaving Barça for them, but I hope to see him win prices. Win that Ligue 1, win the French cup and win that Champions League ((but not by playing against us please). Write history by winning the CL and even if you don’t win it, I know you will still do good. Be successful and what I want to see most of all is him being happy. Because I know that without happiness everything else is not important to him.
It’s time to say goodbye to your time at FC Barcelona and thank you for what you gave me as a fan of you and the club. A new challenge awaits you and - though it may take some time to get over and used to it for me - I will follow you.
I became your fan when you came to FC Barcelona and I still will be your fan now that you leave this club.
You may not stay Ney, but I will still stay with you.
Boa sorte Juninho y sempre tamo junto <3