this is what i want my future to look like

anonymous asked:

Real talk? You're allowed to be mad at your mom. You're allowed to not want to forgive her. You're allowed to feel how ever you are feeling. The only advice I can give is what I do (with an abusive mother and living with my abusers). I focus on the future I can have once I leave this house. It's not impossible, you have a future. Look to it and shape it with your actions until you're living it. You control your future. Don't let others try and fuck with that shit, it's yours. Good luck!

SNNZ thank u n sorry i answered this late, i wanted to think about it for a while ddj

i wrote a lot so see below for some thoughts

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One of my favorite things about overwatch as a whole is how much of their energy went into the character animation. Every single one of them has mannerisms that are all unique even down to their “Hello!” hand-waves. Seriously, there’s a difference between Soldier’s slow and minimal open-palmed wave and Ana’s salute, between Sombra’s curly-fingered long nailed wave and Reaper’s wave seeming more like he’s trying to grab something, between Bastion’s choppy finger-wave and the repair module waving in sentry mode and Genji’s short bow with a distinctive hand motion. It’s all completely unique to each character to express something about their personalities even with the same general motion.

This isn’t even the half of it. Compare EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER’S seated emote for example. Even if characters are in the same pose, like McCree and Bastion and Lucio? The way they ENTER those poses is completely different. McCree holsters his gun and sets his hand on the ground before seating. Bastion spreads their legs a bit, balances with their arms, and then PLOMPS onto the dirt unceremoniously. Lucio fuckin BREAKDANCES into his seat, how extra can you get, what a show-off, I love him.

And the guys who take a knee instead of sitting down??? Also completely different. Pharah does a little flourish with her weapon before kneeling. Soldier just sweeps into it, all no-nonsense and efficient. Ana sweeps her cloak behind her first and gently eases into the kneel. Reinhardt fuckin hefts his hammer murder-side down and kneels like a knight, gazing slightly upwards to some imaginary monarch he’s in the service of. Zarya clonks her whole gun on the ground and kneels beside it, and it really starts to make sense just how BIG and HEAVY that thing is when you see it beside her like that.

The meditators? Fuckin. Nothing is safe from the character quirks and differences. Genji makes some kind of hand pose on one foot and balances into meditation, keeping his hand near his face. Zenyatta hovers a little lower, bows his head, and his orbs spread out to chime like prayer bells. Hanzo sets his bow down and sits seiza, with his hands on his knees. On that note, Mei also sits seiza but doesn’t meditate, instead awkwardly looking around and glancing at snowball for confidence.

And the COMPLETELY unique poses are probably my favorites. Junkrat wants you to paint him like one of your French girls, fingers tapping on the ground and OOZING such misplaced confidence and insanity that I can’t NOT love him. D.Va reveals her stash of snack food and plays on her Future GameBoy for a while, completely uninterested in what else is going on. Symmetra’s too pompous and confident to sit on the ground, so she creates a seat for herself out of hard light to sit on instead.

Just. I fucking love this game.

rollingstone.com
Harry Styles: Singer Opens Up About Famous Flings, Honest New LP
One Direction's Harry Styles goes deep on love, family and his heartfelt new solo debut in our revealing feature.

January 2016. There’s a bench at the top of Primrose Hill, in London, that looks out over the skyline of the city. If you’d passed by it one winter night, you might have seen him sitting there. A lanky guy in a wool hat, overcoat and jogging pants, hands thrust deep into his pockets. Harry Styles had a lot on his mind. He had spent five years as the buoyant fan favorite in One Direction; now, an uncertain future stretched out in front of him. The band had announced an indefinite hiatus. The white noise of adulation was gone, replaced by the hushed sound of the city below.

The fame visited upon Harry Styles in his years with One D was a special kind of mania. With a self-effacing smile, a hint of darkness and the hair invariably described as “tousled,” he became a canvas onto which millions of fans pitched their hopes and dreams. Hell, when he pulled over to the side of the 101 freeway in L.A. and discreetly threw up, the spot became a fan shrine. It’s said the puke was even sold on eBay like pieces of the Berlin Wall. Paul McCartney has interviewed him. Then there was the unauthorized fan-fiction series featuring a punky, sexed-up version of “Harry Styles.” A billion readers followed his virtual exploits. (“Didn’t read it,” comments the nonfiction Styles, “but I hope he gets more than me.”)

But at the height of One D–mania, Styles took a step back. For many, 2016 was a year of lost musical heroes and a toxic new world order. For Styles, it was a search for a new identity that began on that bench overlooking London. What would a solo Harry Styles sound like? A plan came into focus. A song cycle about women and relationships. Ten songs. More of a rock sound. A bold single-color cover to match the working title: Pink. (He quotes the Clash’s Paul Simonon: “Pink is the only true rock & roll colour.”) Many of the details would change over the coming year – including the title, which would end up as Harry Styles – but one word stuck in his head.

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8

We’re always trying to outdo ourselves, trying to do better, trying to write better songs. I think we want to inspire other people as well, so that’s what we’ll try to do through future songs. Joshua William Dun

i’m trying not to let it in. it’s just that every time i look at you i feel something different. i know it’s silly because summer is coming like a boulder down a mountain. but i see you and think of better futures. my horoscope says “You want to tell a loved one just how much you care about them, but you can’t find the words.“ what words would there be. when i’m around you everything is lighter and i forget how to talk about things. i want to impress you too much to speak. i know it’s silly. today’s love sign says “You just need to walk past the fear, and all will be well.” what about if i kiss you. what about if i ruin this whole thing. there’s bruises on me from the last time we held on to it. that’s the thing about wounds, see. they still hurt in the morning.

4

As an actor, what I really want to say is that I’m looking forward to the future. It’s almost a hand to mouth kind of job. You don’t know when you go audition or read a script. I’m always looking for good stories and projects to be a part of and bring to life. But after this, for now, I’m enjoying life and crossing my fingers for season two. I like really good juicy stories. That’s my jam.

Lance and Matt BROTP (Latte)

Okay okay so we All know about the amazing langst potential with Matt around

But after that?

I just really want them to be best bros

-

Along the way they start talking. They discover that their sense of humor is almost the same and they have aLOt in common

-

*Keith walks into the room*

Matt: “is that a fucking Mullet. Who is that angsty teen over there”

Lance: “Thank u God for Pidge`s brother, Matt Holt, and my future husba-”

Pidge: “LANCE EW NO.”


-

*Green lion flying through the air*

Lance, muttering to himself:
“Oh shit whaddup-”

Matt, basically shouting into Shiro`s ear :
“-HERE COMES DAT BOI”

-

They talk about family, about how they both miss their moms. Lance tells Matt how he looks alot like his brother at home. Matt is just like “dude I can be your brother until u get back home” because that’s what Lance did to Pidge and Matt is forever grateful for that. He wants to return the favour.

-

What if one day they go on a diplomatic mission together and they managed to convince the aliens that voltron’s anthem was All Stars by Smashmouth??

They also manage to convince them that the sign of the alliance with Voltron is a finger gun dab?

Like dabbing but with finger guns

So like the Leader wanting to please Voltron commands their army to line up and yeah like there is a whole troop of millitants standing intimidatingly in front of the team. And then Suddenly the general shouts
“ATTENTION!” and all those scary buff ass soldiers dab in perfect syn c

The team LOSES their shit. Pidge is red faced, cackling , Hunk is wheezing so hard tears just keep streaming down his face, Keith is a little confused but chuckles, he is glad to see the team happy. Shiro is fighting hard to keep a straight face, his lips are turned up at the corners and his shoulders are shaking. Allura is just???? Coran is just shakes his head fondly because its That Thing Lance told him about and tries explaining it to the princess.

-

Lance introducing Matt to his “chill time”

It includes fabulous self care. Eg: face masks, nail polish, etc.
(“Katie touch my leg it’s so S m O O Th”)

Matt introduces Lance to his own “chill time” as well

Very fucking dramatic. It consists of launching themselves out of their lions, switching off their comms and screaming about how ‘life is a biTCH into the dark abyss of space where no one can hear them.

-

I bet they do little sleepovers where they gossip and do the whole self care routine

It will also usually include BLANKET FORTS.
And passwords and codenames.

Keith: “Cowboy McEmo”
He has to sing “Old McDonald had a farm” but instead it’s “Keith McEmo had a farm” or just brandish his knife threateningly

Pidge: “Gremlin” “WhatthehellisaPidge”
Has to say how cool Matt is in sonnets

Hunk: “Babe”, “Bro”, “Sweetheart,” basically any pet name in the world
Doesn’t need to do anything. But he insists and brings a snack or two anyways

Shiro: “Space dad,” “Naruto Scriptwriter”
Has to admit Matt is better at Mario Kart than he is (despite Matt being horrible at it)

((Thank u to my friend on Insta u know wh9 u are))

ed sheeran’s divide | sentence meme.

eraser.

  • ❛ i was born into a small town. i lost that state of mind. ❜
  • ❛ so blame it on the pain that blessed me with the life. ❜
  • ❛ friends and family filled with envy when they should be filled with pride. ❜
  • ❛ when the world’s against me is when i really come alive. ❜
  • ❛ you know that i’ve got whisky with white lies and smoke in my lungs. ❜
  • ❛ i need to get in the right mind and clear myself up. ❜
  • ❛ i look in the mirror, questioning what i’ve become. ❜
  • ❛ i’m well aware of certain things that can destroy a person like me. ❜
  • ❛ i am happy on my own so here i’ll stay. ❜
  • ❛ save your loving arms for a rainy day. ❜
  • ❛ i’ll find comfort in my pain eraser. ❜
  • ❛ i chased the picture perfect life. i think they painted it wrong. ❜
  • ❛ i beg you, don’t be disappointed with the person i’ve become. ❜
  • ❛ the world may be filled with hate, but keep erasing it now, somehow. ❜

castle on the hill.

  • ❛ i was younger then. ❜
  • ❛ i found my heart and broke it here. ❜
  • ❛ i know i’ve grown. i can’t wait to go home. ❜
  • ❛ i miss the way you make me feel. ❜
  • ❛ we watched the sun set over the castle on the hill. ❜
  • ❛ had my first kiss on a friday day. i don’t reckon i did it right. ❜

dive.

  • ❛ maybe i came on too strong. maybe i waited too long. ❜
  • ❛ maybe i played my cards wrong. oh, just a little bit wrong. ❜
  • ❛ i could live, i could die, hanging on the words you say. ❜
  • ❛ i’ve been known to give my all. ❜
  • ❛ so don’t call me, baby, unless you mean it. ❜
  • ❛ don’t tell me you need me if you don’t believe it. ❜
  • ❛ so let me know the truth before i dive right into you. ❜
  • ❛ do you have a tendency to lead some people on? ‘cuz i heard you do. ❜

shape of you. 

  • ❛ the club isn’t the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where i go. ❜
  • ❛ your love was handmade for somebody like me. ❜
  • ❛ i’m in love with the shape of you. we push and pull like a magnet do. ❜
  • ❛ although my heart is falling too, i’m in love with your body. ❜
  • ❛ last night you were in my room, and now my bed sheets smell like you. ❜
  • ❛ we talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour. ❜

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YOI Characters as things my classmates have said
  • Yuuri: You think I'm innocent but you should see me in a group chat
  • Viktor: Guys I think I'm gay but I'm not sure yet-- never mind I'm sure I'm gay
  • Yuri: I'm 5'2 but I'm still ready to fight someone
  • Otabek: Wow y'all think I'm a gentleman but wait till you see me swallow a quesadilla whole
  • Phichit: What's your Snapchat? I don't have one I just want to know for future reference
  • Chris: I got an A on my science test and I'm ready to bust a nut
  • JJ: I may look cool, but on the inside I'm just a soggy pile of worthlessness just like you guys
  • Leo: I might have failed three of my classes but that's chill. Im chill
  • Guang-Hong: *in a squeaky voice* I'll shank you
  • Georgi: I don't know whether or not I've had two girlfriends in the past month is good or bad
  • Seung-Gil: I'm great at parties. I mostly just hide in the corner and hope nobody notices me. It works like a charm.
  • Michele: No homo but guys are really pretty
  • Emil: Yugi-Oh is for babies; I play Magic the Gathering like a real man
Adrien’s Game 2.5: The Ball’s In Your Court, Nino

If you’ve read my previous posts “The Evolution of Adrien’s Game” and “The A-mew-sing Sequel”, you’ll know that:

A: I’m being forced to rest until my bronchitis is gone, so I can’t sew
B: My creativity is suffering so, therefore, I’m making crack posts
C: I have a warped sense of humor

This one’s gonna be an in-between because “Animan” is where Adrien’s game truly shines!  Unfortunately, he uses it to coach Nino into trying to get a date with Marinette.  Go with what you know, I guess.   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alternatively titled: Adrien Flirts With Marinette Through His Bestie

  • Can we all just agree that Adrien giving Nino advice on how to score with Marinette is the cutest thing ever?
  • Nino literally tells Adrien this crush came out of nowhere.
  • Adrien’s all “yeah dude, IKR?!”
  • If I were you, I wouldn’t look so smug, Junior.  
  • Phase 1 of Operation: “Clueless Dorks” uh I mean “Give Nino the Confidence to Ask Alya Out Instea–” er…you know what?  We’ll just call it Phase 1.
  • PHASE 1
  • Ask Mari out on a date.
  • No, not me.  YOU.

See how this trainwreck goes below the cut!

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50 Famous Quotes of Fashion's Greatest.

1 ) “One is never over-dressed or under-dressed with a Little Black Dress.” —Karl Lagerfeld

2) “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” —Coco Chanel

3) “I firmly believe that with the right footwear one can rule the world.” —Bette Midler

4) “I loathe narcissism, but I approve of vanity.” —Diana Vreeland

5) “A woman’s dress should be a like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.” —Sophia Loren

6) “I like my money right where I can see it…hanging in my closet.” —Carrie Bradshaw

7) “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” —Kate Moss

8) “I can’t concentrate in flats!” —Victoria Beckham

9) “I don’t do fashion. I am fashion.” —Coco Chanel

10) “Walk like you have three men walking behind you.” —Oscar de la Renta

11) “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.” —Edith Head

12) “Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life.” —Bill Cunningham

13) “When in doubt, wear red.” —Bill Blass

14) “I don’t design clothes. I design dreams.” —Ralph Lauren

15) “Clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them.” —Marc Jacobs

16) “Fashions fade, style is eternal.” —Yves Saint Laurent

17) “Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing.” —Alexander Wang

18) “How can you live the high life if you do not wear the high heels?” —Sonia Rykiel

19) “Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.” —Gianni Versace

20) “In difficult times, fashion is always outrageous.” —Elsa Schiaparelli

21) “You can never take too much care over the choice of your shoes. Too many women think that they are unimportant, but the real proof of an elegant woman is what is on her feet.” —Christian Dior

22) “Fashion is what you’re offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose.” —Lauren Hutton

23) “The dress must follow the body of a woman, not the body following the shape of the dress.” —Hubert de Givenchy

24) “I know what women want. They want to be beautiful.” —Valentino Garavani

25) “A woman who doesn’t wear perfume has no future.” —Coco Chanel

26) “People will stare. Make it worth their while.” —Harry Winston

27) “Luxury is the ease of a t-shirt in a very expensive dress.” ―Karl Lagerfeld

28) “And now, I’m just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time.” —Lady Gaga

29) “My look is attainable. Women can look like Audrey Hepburn by flipping out their hair, buying the large sunglasses, and the little sleeveless dresses.” —Audrey Hepburn

30) “A little bad taste is like a nice splash of paprika. We all need a splash of bad taste—it’s hearty, it’s healthy, it’s physical. I think we could use more of it. No taste is what I’m against.” —Diana Vreeland

31) “Elegance is elimination.” —Cristóbal Balenciaga

32) “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” —Rachel Zoe

33) “Men tell me that I’ve saved their marriages. It costs them a fortune in shoes, but it’s cheaper than a divorce. So I’m still useful, you see” —Manolo Blahnik

34) “What you wear is how you present yourself to the world, especially today, when human contacts are so quick. Fashion is instant language.” —Miuccia Prada

35) “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” —Coco Chanel

36) “Attitude is everything.” —Diane von Furstenberg

37) “We must never confuse elegance with snobbery.” —Yves Saint Laurent

38) “Playing dress-up begins at age five and never truly ends.” —Kate Spade

39) “Elegance is not standing out, but being remembered.” —Giorgio Armani

40) “Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady.” —Edith Head

41) “The hardest thing in fashion is not to be known for a logo, but to be known for a silhouette.” —Giambattista Valli

42) “I don’t approach fashion. Fashion approaches me!” —Daphne Guinness

43) “We have this saying, Christy and I. We don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day.” —Linda Evangelista

44) “My look is a cocktail. I’m not as nicely turned out as the french, but I don’t care like the English.” —Jane Birkin

45) “More is more and less is a bore.” —Iris Apfel

46) “Clothes are like a good meal, a good movie, great pieces of music.” —Michael Kors

47) “I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most practical, the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity—all I hope for in my clothes. —Yves Saint Laurent

48) "Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” —Bo Derek

49) “Big girls need big diamonds.” —Elizabeth Taylor

50) “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.” —Karl Lagerfeld

  • WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITES?

is there a future to us ?
  • “hey… where do you see us in five years?”
  • “i would love to meet your parents… “
  • “ would it — be okay to ask if i could… meet your parents?”
  • “do you think your parents will like me?”
  • “you know… when i look at you i see the person i wanna marry.”
  • “you’d look great in a wedding ring… ”
  • “come on… your eyes, my smile — don’t you think our baby would be beautiful?”
  • “where do you… stand on kids?”
  • “how many kids do you think we’ll have?”
  • “i’ve always wanted a girl/boy… what about you?”
  • “oh god no — my friends will be the end of you!”
  • “ i think you’re gonna love my friends. ”
  • “ so, my mom’s a bit of a hardass… she might not — you know… ”
  • “ my dad is the sweetest in the world… and i think he’ll love you”
  • “ no trust me… you don’t wanna meet my family — “
  • “ oh, uhm… i might not – have… told my family… that i’m seeing someone”
  • “ do we really have to make it — official ?”
  • “ i’m not sure if i’m ready for the next step… ”
  • “ where would you want to get married ?”
  • “ i know that… you want to do it in a church but… i’m not so sure —”
  • “ i have this dream… with you… that we have a large house and kids… “
  • “ kids ? isn’t that a bit — early ?”
  • “ maybe not now… but – someday ~”
  • “ i… want to introduce you to my parents. ”
13 reasons why I didn’t kill myself

1/ Life isn’t about school. I was bullied for years, it was awful and I will never leave my past behind to be someone remarkably self-confident. School’s a big piece of your lifetime but still, it’s only a piece of it. Most of the time, you will never meet your classmates again after you finished high school.

2/ Don’t give to people who didn’t believe in you a reason to think they were right. Prove them how much they’ve been mistaken about you.

3/ You aren’t stuck in a place forever. If you are sick to stay in the same town then move out. The world is big, you can go anywhere for a short or a long time and you can start again somewhere nobody knows you. It’s not an easy choice but it can be great, promised. There is a lot of ways to travel for nothing. If you can’t move out now, you can at least start to plan something or to dream about it.

4/ My family deserved to know. I was in bad terms with my parents, I nerver told anyone how much I was suffering at school. Maybe I was to proud to tell them, maybe it was the only way I found to convince me I was okay cause I didn’t ask for help. I knew I was strong but I didn’t know how broken I was.

5/ If you want to live in a better world, how would it be? Many times, I met people who fought for rights, like I did in different ways. They inspired me and gave me some hope. Cause even if there are a lot of stuffs not going well, there will always be some of us to stand up against bullshit. I felt useful when I spent time with them to fight. It was also intellectually rewarding.

6/ You maybe know what you will leave but you never know what you will miss. What will happen in next few days, months or years? You can think it’s better this way but based on what? The future is unpredictable.

7/ What are you attached to? I like the rain, the storm, the clouds. Looking at the leaves of trees moving with the wind or to walk outside alone at night looking at the stars. I want to rescue a dog from a shelter when I will have my place. Nobody can stop me from doing these things.

8/ You can build new relationships every day. New or future colleague, bestfriend, girl-/boy-/enby-friend. I’ve found my soulmate when I was 25 yo, every time I think about my past suicidal thoughts, I’m glad I’m still alive.

9/ As a spoonie, I never wanted to give up. I was depressed long before I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. My chronic illness is a source of anxiety and ask me a lot of energy to stay “able” but I will always do all I can till I can’t.

10/ Learn something new every day. It was my leitmotiv for a long time, you don’t need to know why you are here, at least, try to find smart ways to spend your time, it will never be lost. Your future self will thank you for.

11/ Music can save your life.
Do not underestimate its power. Escape.

12/ Don’t be too hard with yourself. Don’t listen to what people say about you. Learn who you are and who you want to be. Clean up this mess.

13/ Inhale, hold, exale. Do it again and again.
Close your eyes & just breathe.

4

🏘 Texting next door neighbor Jungkook [part 4] 🏘

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 5] [part 6]


Rolling your eyes while dropping your phone onto the bed, you got up to open the door for the one who was consistently blowing up your phone. Although you already knew it was him at the door, you peered out the side panel window just to see him swaying from side to side as he stood in place. Maybe it was the annoyed look on his face from him being impatient or maybe it was his getup of the gag present bunny ears you had given to him for his birthday last year. Either way, you couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh as you opened the door for him.

“Took you long enough.” It wasn’t long until he had pulled you into his arms in a tight embrace, sticking to his words from a few minutes ago. “I mean I already figured out you are small, but I didn’t know you were slow too.”

“If you’re looking to have kids in the future I suggest you shut up.” You teased with a light chuckle. “My small stature is the perfect height to hit you where you don’t want to be hit.”

Silence had taken over as you continued to stand in each other’s hold. You weren’t sure about how he felt, most likely the opposite of what you were experiencing, and maybe it was all in your head, but things felt weird for you. Of course you knew it was coming, that was the reasoning for his visit in the first place, and it’s not like you were newly acquainted friends, seeing as the both of you have been neighbours since the early years of your childhood. Perhaps it was the fact that he had propped his chin atop your head, or the way his hands had splayed themselves widely across your back, or if may even be how his cologne was filling your senses, making you realize just how closely he was holding you. But despite the awkward tension you were feeling, you couldn’t help but let out yet another laugh as he let you go. The imagine of him with the bunny ears perched on his head was one you hoped you would never forget in the distant future.

“What’s so funny?” he questioned, furrowing his brows together.

“Don’t worry about it.” You dismissed. “You got your hug. You need anything else?”

“Yes, some cocoa would be great right about now.” He stated as he toed off his shoes and made his way past me towards the kitchen.

“That wasn’t part of the deal.” You protested. “Make it yourself, you know where everything is anyways.”

“As just your so-called neighbour, wouldn’t that be intrusive to you things? ” he placed emphasis on the word neighbour, jutting out his bottom lip to get his dislike for the title across to you.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Are you seriously gonna be like this today?” You already knew what he wanted you to say, to hear it from you to confirm his thoughts and so that he could soothe his hurt pride. “We both know you’re my friend. Is it really that important for you to hear it all the time?”

Instead of replying, he simply grinned at you, the bunny ears dropping forward a little bit, before reaching for the kettle and the jar of cocoa. “Do you want some?”

The tortoise and the hare; what a great duo.


~~
Send your requests!!

Huge thank you to @justinjeonseagull & @fanlovefic

And a special thank you + credits to @kookiestudie 💙

Mine (part 2 of Hers)

This is part 2 to this imagine. Hope you enjoy it!

You know one of the worst things about being in love with your best friend? You can’t just get away from them. It’s like even if you’re sure that ignoring them will be helpful, they just won’t take it.

Since that night, a month ago, I’ve been doing everything in my power to get away from Harry. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him out of my life forever, but just for a little while so I can try and get over him. Because now he’s engaged, and trust me, the world doesn’t let me forget this.

Although I’ve been busy with work – or at least that’s what I tell Harry to avoid him – the world seems to get against me all the time. Fans bombarding my twitter with questions about his engagement and how I feel about it, Harry and Lexa on the cover of every magazine, Louis texting me every day asking me how I am doing, Anne complaining I haven’t been to their family reunion on weekends… It’s tough to ignore this whole thing when it seems it’s out to get me.

Harry knows something is wrong. I don’t think he realizes how hurt I am by his decision to get married to Lexa, but he definitely knows something is wrong. He keeps texting me, saying he misses me and that he wants me to be part of his wedding. So far, I’m not even sure if I’ll go to the damn thing.

Will you be free this weekend? Mom said she’ll be giving a small get together and that she misses you. H

Not sure. Working and all that.

Why are you so distant?

I’ve already told you, I’m working. Big project.

I’ll be honest and say I miss him. Probably more than I should. I miss his hugs, I miss his voice, his smile, his mesmerizing green eyes, his way of making me smile by only looking at me. I miss him. But I also feel angry. Harry is probably the smartest person I know and yet he doesn’t realize the mistake he’s making. Lexa doesn’t get him like I do, she probably doesn’t care for him as much as I do and definitely doesn’t love him like I do. I guess I am just angry at myself, at the end of the day. I could have had him. It took me too long to tell him my feelings and he moved on. No, to someone to move on from someone there has to be feelings involved and I’m pretty sure he never had those feelings for me.

It hurts, most of all. It’s hard to ignore the aching feeling in my heart, especially when I don’t know how to get rid of it. I’ve been on dates the past weeks, dates that went nowhere. That ended with me in my couch, a bottle of wine, old photos of Harry and me and many tears. Tears because I miss those times when we’re inseparable, when it was us against the world. I miss those times when I knew I could tell him everything. I miss his comfort after heartbreak. But how can I go to him when the reason I am so devastated is him? Is the fact that he loves someone else, that he is about to vow infinity love for someone is not me. Is the fact that even though he knows me so well, he can’t see how this is breaking me. He is about to be forever hers and all I wish was for him to give me a chance to make him mine. He can’t fix me when he’s the one who broke me.  

I knew I shouldn’t, it would only make things worse. So I don’t how I ended up sitting in my car, on Anne’s driveway. I should turn around and go back to my house, but a part of me didn’t want to. I miss everyone, they’re like family to me. And, most of all, I miss him. I know very well that for my own sake I should turn around and run, so why am I walking towards the door?

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you, my darling! I missed you! How are you doing?” Anne hugged me tight and I couldn’t help the smile that this hug brought to my face. I miss her more than anything.  

“I’m ok. Working a lot.” I let go of her and we headed to her living room. Everyone was there: Gemma, the boys, Lou, Lux and, of course, Harry and Lexa. He looks amazing and my breath was caught in my through as soon as he headed my way.

“Where have you been hiding?!” He hugged me and I let him hold me to his chest. Gosh, how I missed this. Missed him so close to me. I almost forgot everyone else, but the hug was shortly broken by Gemma.

“Sis, it’s so good to see you. How’s work? How’s life?” She hugged me.

After saying hello to everyone, Gemma, Louis and I went to the kitchen to grab some more wine to the others.

“How you doing?” Louis asked me once we were out of reach.

“I drink a lot, I cry a lot and I work a lot.” I was honest with them. Gemma looked at me with sadness in her eyes and I knew she wanted nothing more than to me and her brother to get together and be happy.

“He misses you.” Louis told me. “He doesn’t know why you’re pulling away and it’s breaking him that you’re so distant.”

I felt a knot in my through and I knew if I keep talking about it, I’ll lose it. I’ll crumble in a ball of hysterical cries and that would cause a lot of trouble. I took the wine bottle and went back to the kitchen, to see Lexa showing Anne pictures of wedding dresses she has been trying on. Anne looked like she couldn’t care less for what her future to be daughter-in-law was saying, but the scene itself was enough to halt me in place.

It was real. He really was getting married. She was already looking at dresses. I think a part of me always thought he was going to change his mind, or maybe this whole thing was some kind of sick joke.

“Oh, Y/N, Lexa wants you to help with her dress too.” Harry smiled at me, oblivious to the hurt his words caused.

“Hm, maybe some other time.” My voice didn’t sound like myself, it sounded robotic. “I need to go now. Got a call from the office.”

“Wait, what?” He asked confused. “You just got here. And today is Sunday, you can’t possibly work on a Sunday!”

“Well, it’s very possible and I need to get going.” I was out the door before I could even hear anything else.

I drove back home with tears rolling down my face and a broken heart. I lost him forever.

If I had stayed that night, I would’ve known about the fight that took place right after I left. I would’ve known how pissed off Harry was with my behavior and I would know what unfolded after Gemma decided to just through every truth at him.

If I had stayed, I wouldn’t be face to face with a very angry Harry, standing in the middle of my living room.

“YOU LOVE ME?” He asked looking at me from across the room.

“Of course I love you, you’re my best friend and…” I tried to get out of the situation, but I could see I wasn’t convincing him.

“Oh please, Gemma told me everything. How you’ve been in love with me for 3 years and not said a damn word about it. How you’ve ran away from my party not because you’re not feeling well as you told me, but because I got engaged. How you’ve been ignoring me on purpose to get rid of your feelings for me. Why did I have to hear this from my sister, Y/n? Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was near a whisper at the end of his rant and he looked devastated.

“I-I-I…” I took a deep breath and turned away from him. “I was afraid of losing you for good. When I first realized my feelings, I didn’t know how to deal with it. How was I supposed to tell you? I’ve known you my whole life, Harry! But the boys kept on telling me to talk to you. Do you remember that day 3 years ago?” I turned around to meet with his green eyes watching my every move. “When you told me you met Lexa?”

“Of course. It was the day you told me you were coming home and…” He stopped. I could see the wheels turning in his head; I knew he understood what I wanted to say.

“I was going to confess my feelings for you that day. But you were so happy about her… I couldn’t ruin this for you. So I decided it was time for me to come home, for me to move on from you.”

“But you never did.” He whispered.

“No. It’s harder to get over you than it looks like.” I sat on my couch, feeling completely defeated with this whole conversation. “Why are you so pissed off, Haz? Yes, I do love you and I am trying to get over you. Eventually it will happen. I’m not gonna lie and say that right now I’m happy with your wedding, because God knows I don’t think she’s right for you. But if you’re happy, than so am I. I just need time to get over my feelings for you, that’s all.”

“Why am I so pissed off?!” Harry suddenly was angry again. “You didn’t tell me anything. You completely shut me out, I was left in the dark for too long. For Christ sake, I am your best friend, you should tell me this things! So now, not only did I lose my future wife, I’m afraid I’ll lose my best friend.”

“Wait, what?” I looked up at his hooded eyes, feeling my heart pick up the rate. What does he mean with lost his future wife?

As if reading my thoughts, he took the wedding ring he gave Lexa from his pocket and showed to me. The beautiful diamond was shining in the dim lights and I could barely believe my own eyes.

“Harry, what did you do? Why are you with her bloody ring?”

“Because if you had told me you loved me, I would never have stayed with Lexa in the first place!” He sat beside me and took my hand in his. “I always loved you, Y/N. Gosh, always have and always will! I spent so many years loving you, and when I realized you would never love me back, I decided to move on, y’know? Lexa was a great girl, but she wasn’t you. I cared for her, and since I believed I would never love someone as much as I love you, I thought she could be the next best thing, I guess. Gosh, Y/N, I love you so so so much it hurts.”

At first, I thought I was dreaming. Harry was confessing his feelings for me and it has to be a dream. But when his hands found my neck and his lips found my lips, I knew this was actually happening. And it was better than every dream I ever had in my entire life.

“Now, I need to hear your answer even though I know what’s gonna be. Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” He smiled at me and in that moment I knew everything was finally fitting into places.

“We went through all of this for you STILL have to ask me that?” I rolled my eyes and straddled his lap. “Of course, you idiot.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see the others reaction.” He laughed and kissed me again. “But first, let me show you exactly how much I love you.”

And just like that, he carried me to my room, for the first of many nights together.

***

I hope you’ve liked this. Please, leave me your thoughts about this oneshot, talk to me pleeease. Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language!

All the love, B.

MASTERLIST

4

important background action there

8

You asked me, what kind of life we had just surrendering. It wasn’t, It wasn’t a life. What we did back there, what we’re doing now, making a future for Judith and for Glenn and Maggie’s baby, fighting the fight, that’s living. You showed me that.

Inducing Dreams and Visions

This is one method of inducing dreams or visions. Highly necessary to the success of this method is personal sacrifice

The Spirit World, Higher Self, subconscious, or any number of sources may deliver powerful dreams and visions. To receive one, you need to take several steps to show your serious dedication to the process. In addition, practicing having visions in the first place is a good idea!

If you have been practicing dreamwork and trance, you may be a bit like me: generally unsatisfied with the intensity of the experience. I don’t want to have casual induced daydreams; I want some Real Fuccin Shit to go down. In such a situation, I may use something like the following technique:

Write your goals down and make sure you know what you are asking for. Potential goals for an induced vision may be one of your life’s purpose; your past lives; your hidden abilities; a healing dream or journey, to have a greater bond with a certain spirit, to learn about a topic, or to help another, as a few examples. The magic I am talking about here is serious and not to be played with, so make sure you understand what you are asking for.

Research allies who will help you. Hekate, the Fates, Norns, Freyja, Odin, and other Gods and Demigods of fates and divination will be powerful allies. Spirits such as mermaids and sirens are powerful diviners who can deliver dreams and messages. Animal spirits include bees and owls; plant spirits include star anise and bay laurel. Research your own traditional cultural way of approaching these entities in respectful manner (fun challenge: if your culture has no traditional way of approaching that spirit, choose another spirit). If you are having trouble finding your cultural methods, you are free to borrow mine.

Discover what you need to sacrifice in order to have the experience you want. For me this will be giving up sweets (but not full fasting), prayer, meditation, offerings. You will have your own methods of sacrifice. 

Formalize your petition. It may look something like this: “Spirit World, I, Thicket Moyers, wish to receive a vision of my future. I pray to the great Snowy Owl to send me a vision of the Winter to come. I will pray and meditate for three days; upon the Third Day, if I have shown myself to be worthy, let further instruction come.” Yeppers, showing myself to be worthy. If you want something from the Otherworld, it pays to be humble. 

Announce your petition. Announce it the moment you are ready to begin your process of sacrifice, and no sooner. Announce it with knowledge that failure to show your worth is possible, and that you need to work hard to show the Otherworld that you really want what you are asking for. Announce it with a heart of dedication to begin immediately and forge ahead until you are done. 

Show your dedication to the Otherworld and the spirits you have petitioned by engaging in the sacrifice you have offered. For me, this is extended periods of prayer and meditation. 

But if your sacrifice isn’t meditation, you still kinda gotta. I mean, if you’re praying for a vision you need to actually sit down and make some room and time to have a vision. When petitioning the Otherworld for dreams, journeys, and visions, set aside a little time each morning and night to receive the experience you are looking for. This should come as no problem compared to the strenuous sacrifice you are offering to simply receive the experience itself.

Follow the instructions you are given. Sometimes before I will receive a journey or vision, I will be told I need to do certain things. For example I may need to take a cleansing shower, or eat a healthy meal of I am not taking care of myself. I may need to clean my room or lay out extra offerings before a spirit will arrive to deliver my experience. I may need to go on other journeys or have other visions first, if my request is significant enough. Your intuition, divination, and regular trance will help deliver instructions to you.

Await your experience.  As teachers like to say, you get the grade you earn. If you work hard, show the Otherworld your true dedication, practice remembering your visions, make time for the Otherworld, and offer true sacrifice, you may receive a powerful experience to further your path.

break the chain

happy birthday @carryonsimoncarryon!!

length: 3.7k

genre(s): angst+fluff

triggers/warnings: none

simon and baz get in a fight during 7th year and end up magically handcuffed together 

a/n: thank you @cherryonsimon for ur beta skills and brutal honesty :p AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAILEY!!!! ENJOY BEING OLD 💜💜

(if the readmore doesn’t work then just click the url and it will take you to the post ^__^)



Simon

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

My jaw drops and I stare at Agatha. She doesn’t look like she’s joking, and I start to feel sick.

“What?”

“I want to break up.”

“But–but why?”

“I just don’t think we’re good together,” she says, like her words aren’t devastating. Like she hasn’t just unraveled all of my plans for our future together.

“But…but I love you…” I say, a bit pathetically, and her face hardens.

“I’m not doing this because I don’t love you, Simon. I just don’t want to be with you anymore.”

I don’t know what to say to that, and she’s not listening anyway. She’s looking at something over my shoulder and I turn around quickly to see what it is.

It’s Baz.

He gives her a lazy wave and a wink, and when I face her again she’s gone pink.

“Him?” I say incredulously. “You’re breaking up with me for him?”

“What if I am?” she says, and I feel my magic starting to rise. She takes a step back, looking scared. I curse and try to force it back down.

“Agatha,” I say, but she’s still moving. “Agatha! I didn’t mean it!”

She spins on her heel and walks off, leaving me behind in the hall.

I’m sure I look like a fish out of water; students are leaving the classrooms and everyone’s giving me a funny look. I’m still fighting to keep my magic under control and I only have one thought on my mind: this is Baz’s fault.

* * *

Baz had somehow disappeared after my confrontation with Agatha, so I go looking for him. I eventually find him lurking in an unused corridor–the one with the room where the Crucible is stored. Surely Baz isn’t daft enough to try and mess with it. He must have some other scheme planned.

I don’t care what it is, I don’t care about anything else right now other than the fact that Baz has once again ruined my life.

I’m attempting to sneak up on him when the sole of my shoe squeaks, and he whips around.

“What do you want, Snow?” Baz spits, and I rush forward without thinking.

“This is all your fault!” I yell as I shove him, “if you’d just left Agatha well alone she wouldn’t have broken up with me!”

He looks confused for a second and then smirks. That makes me angrier, so I shove him again. Harder. This time his head makes a satisfying crack as it hits the wall. I rush forward with my arm pulled back, ready to punch him. He moves to block me and our hands collide in mid-air.

I feel a shimmer of magic around my wrist and my stomach drops. Baz must have cast something too low for me to hear, and now…well, I’m not really sure what he did until I look at my hand and see the shiny metal bracelet. I don’t realize what’s happened at first; Baz tugs his wrist and mine comes with it.

Merlin’s tits, I’m fucking handcuffed to Baz. What is he planning to do to me? This must be one of his schemes! He’s going to…he’s going to…

Well, I’m not sure what he’s going to do, but it probably involves me and a pair of handcuffs.

“What the hell, Baz!” I growl, “let me go!”

He looks indignant. “I didn’t do this!”

“Of course you did!”

“Crowley, Snow, do you really think I’d attach myself to you on purpose?”

Baz

The air starts to fill with smoke, and I realize it’s Snow. Shit, I should have known this would happen. He’s going to bloody go off. I’m tempted to poke him as I usually do–because I know he’ll just shield me–but I finally give into my urge to just…help him.

“Deep breaths now, Snow,” I say, and his head snaps up. He narrows his eyes at me, but I keep going; keep holding his gaze. “Let it go. Some of it. Before you start another fire. Whatever–fuck!”

Snow shoves me into the wall for the second time today, only this time he comes with me and I’m hit from both sides.

“What was that for? I was helping you, you numpty!”

“I don’t need your help,” he snarls.

“Fine!” I spit, “let’s go find you someone else then!”

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