this is what i do when im making videos

omfg ok i made a video of me making a boy sim and i planned on just like……putting text ovr it and saw i could do a voice over…..lmfao so i tried it?????? and i ended up explaining nothing so here ill add some things

  • when i make a sim i usually just edit the one that randomly generates so…thats what im doin here
  • this just so dumb vid of me laughing at myself
  • hey maybe dont reblog this LMAO i dont want this to haunt me thanx xo
  • dont shame me for still using itunes also thx

its one in the morning and i cant sleep because i invented this lil fantasy world (you know how you make up stories when ur trying to get to sleep) where my book was published and had a fandom and i was like imagining ppl makin videos and doing in depth meta analyses of characters motivations and me doing book signings!!! and like people liking the book!!! and now im all pumped up and just. cant stop thinking about it like.

what a dream

when ur smut writing makes people horny

thank

loving someone with bpd/avpd

when i start splitting it feels like there is no stable ground under my feet. understand this.

i get so exhausted by small tasks, i get annoyed with noises, there is static in my head. understand i need time to relax in the quiet without stimuli. you can be next to me, that helps.

when i start disassociating i feel like a ghost, like people can walk through me, like im stuck in a video game and the person playing my character doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing. hold my hand. you will help bring me back. this is called “grounding”.

when i am touched, i disassociate. sex is hard because of triggers. remember this isn’t anything you’ve done wrong.

i cry when people yell at me or tell me i did something wrong. please watch your tone, take breaks from talking if you’re frustrated with me. 

i disassociate when im under pressure to make a decision or do something important. give me time to think, please be patient because my brain does not process as quickly as yours.

when people talk to me i sometimes don’t realize until after they’re done speaking. please don’t get mad if i ask you to repeat what you say. i genuinely want to hear and process what you have to say.

i feel like no one means what they say to me unless it’s negative. i imagine abandonment and it keeps me up at night. reassure me that you care. this will do wonders. this will help me sleep.

i have delusions of abandonment, i believe that someone actively in my life has left me and i get physically sick. tell me that you’re here.

i feel empty. hold my hand.

i do not use people. i do not manipulate people just because im lonely. it’s hard for me to even reach out to a person when i feel vulnerable or lonely. if i do this, know that you mean the world to me.

no one in my life who was supposed to stay has ever stayed. my brain repeats this sentence over and over when i have an attack. tell me that you’re here. you don’t have to promise that you’ll stay, just remind me that you’re here and that you’re real.

i have never been fully loved by another person and that’s all i think about when i split. tell me you love me.

i do not rage like the stereotypical bpd, instead i just feel a void and i get angry at the void and i spiral into a cycle of self-hatred and apathy. do not let my hatred towards myself make you think you have done something wrong. do not try to make me love myself.

when i split i do not care about anything in my life. i’m impulsive. i randomly decide to drive on the wrong side of the road. i spend all my money the first time i go into a store. remember this. offer to hold me accountable for things.

sometimes all of this just feels like a very loud roller coaster ride and i just want to lay down next to a breathing body in silence. i don’t want to be touched or talked to. i just want to lay and breathe and exist. i just want to be loved silently and existentially. peace, existing, loving quietly. i do not need to be loved with a bullhorn. i do not need to be loved with flowers or grandiose gestures or romance or celebrating. i need to be loved in little moments. when my head is screaming and thrashing and storming i do not need to be loved in a yell. when i hate myself loudly i do not need to be loved loudly. i need a whisper, to be loved in a whisper, to be waited for. to be understood. to have someone know that baby steps are giant leaps, that i am trying. i do not need promises, i will undo them in my head. lay next to me, stare at the ceiling with me.

love me small and i will love you big.

4

“Chibi Kenma is a clever, psychic setter. It can easily pick up on other Pokemon’s movements and just as quickly decipher a new play of attack with its sharp eyes and even sharper mind. However, this Pokemon is weak when it comes to video games because it loves to play.”

Pokemon Trainer Kenma and Chibi Kenma!
↳ Happy Birthday Marissa @kenmasan(〜^∇^)〜

anonymous asked:

ally if it is not too much to ask, would you okay for if you ever make a live video on instagram, to post the video after its over? (i am not able to go on instagram all the time and i don't want to miss out on your video ㅠㅠ if you don't want to that is okay as well!!)

ㅠㅠㅠㅠ oh anon this means a lot!!!!! ;;; im very self conscious when it comes to posting content with my face when it’s not going to disappear for the next 24 hours or so.. but i’ll see what i can do, especially with the upcoming trip to south korea! ^_^

anonymous asked:

Umhi sorry to bother but I think I may have just failed a Latin test and it's the 3rd thing I've failed this year and I have papers coming up but I'm afraid I won't get stuff done and my parents will be mad and I just got video game privileges back from the last two.... Do you have any studying/schoolwork advice? i'm really scared (´;Д;`)

Okay look. You’re about to hear an advice from a student, a 16 year old. So i dont really know if what im about to say its okay or not.

But please, believe me when i say you can do it. Maybe you are not paying enough attention to class. Maybe you get distracted easily. And it okay. It doesn’t makes you a bad student. Repeat that to yourself.

Listen, last year i SUCKED at math. I never understood ANYTHING. But this year i’ve been getting so much better. Wanna know why?
Because i started asking. I started raising my voice.

If you don’t understand something you ask. It doesn’t makes you look dumb. Seriously.
If you’re afraid to raise your hand, just stand up, and go straight to the teacher. You tell them if they can explain again.

BELIEVE ME. THEY DON’T GET ANNOYED. ITS THEIR JOB. They don’t think you’re stupid! They are actually glad that you’re asking! You’re in school for a reason! To learn!!

Your classmates.
They are not going to think “Wow, They didn’t understand that? They are so dumb!” NO. They don’t. Some of them are having the same struggles as you. But they are also afraid to ask.
And if someone DARES to laugh at you for not knowing something the teacher will most likely make them shut the fuck up.


If school itself isn’t enough, you can go to the internet. Always. You can ask your parents, your friends. There’s always someone who will help you.

It might be TEDIOUS AS HELL. But its totally worth it. Because when you finally understand, you get, like, SO HAPPY because you finally can do your homework, you can finally be sure about the question of that goddamn test that once gave you anxiety by just looking at the first question.

And one last thing; School is NOT about memorizing stuff. Its about learning. Step by step, little by little.

We are moving slowly, but we are moving.

Please remember that you are not a bad student just because don’t understand some things.

8

Buncha random notes and doodles I’ve amassed over the past month or so about Tethered. 

What is Tethered? It’s a video game concept my brother came up with a hundred years ago that I randomly decided to play with. And, before you ask, I’m afraid I do NOT plan on making anything from this. I just was brainstorming. Sorry! 

The story is kind of long, so I’m putting it below a thing.


Keep reading

i really hate that the like “face of nonbinary stuff” is that one youtuber whose name ive forgotten who does all the info vids abt like ace labels amd what not because like. the videos and the fuckin BOOK he wrote makes both nonbinaries and aces look so silly and i really REALLY do not wanna be grouped with aces. it makes us look like such a joke and just reminds me of like 2014 when everyone was a “walking dictionary” of 383727 terms. i dont wanna be viewed as some special fuckin case because this dumbass is making 78 part informational videos on what it means to be all sorts of “lgbtqia+” because im fuckim nonbinary.

were already looked at as “special snowflakes” MAJORLY, we dont need bullshit like this making it worse.

im also scared of discourse against nb ppl coming up because of this fuckin unfortunate link that needs to break

anonymous asked:

Let me ask you a Question. How is exacerbating the whole BGAK situation making you look good? Granted teya made herself look bad already but at the end of the day, when all is said and done What are you getting out of this? Making a bunch of girl looking bad while you Knight yourself to make yourself look good? Im genuinely want to know. I don't care about the BGAK i think it was a stupid premise to begin with. What do you stand to gain at the end of the day.

Perhaps you and I think of things differently but I dont look at situations pure to see what I can “gain” from it. Some things should be done because of integrity. 

I made two videos. Planned on 1. Unless they start more crap I won’t make another. The reason why I did this is because they’ve done this gang bullying before not only to me but Aurie and others as well. I have enough integrity to hold a group that violates its claims of “empowerment” responsible.

I highly doubt you’d be ok with a group intentionally spreading misinformation saying you support genocide, pedophilia(wtf) while *redepeatly* “dragging” people for their physical appearances. 

I saw me doing that for the good. For myself, and others. If people chose not to believe me with the staggering amount of proving how sketchy these people are, that’s your decision.

aaww the deleted scene from exo showtime episode 7 is so precious. they ate fortune cookies after the hotpot and luhan’s fortune cookie says something about him winning awards  and celebrating it with people he’s close with and everyone was like ‘hell yeah exo is gonna win award and we’re gonna celebrate!’ and then the next line was something abt luhan’s existence itself is the biggest award and chanyeol was like 'we are always awarded by luhan’s existence’ or something like that and everyone started cheering and clapping for luhan i honestly started tearing by then. It’s honestly the cutest thing because they are just so carefree and having fun by themselves, acknowledging each other’s strengths and strong points, cheering and laughing happily. where did all these go?  

anonymous asked:

Aw. Hope you feel better soon?

thanks, me too :>

this illness has been seriously annoying?? like????? i only barely have enough energy to make a handful of snarky remarks before vegging out on video games like stardew valley, which is slow and peaceful

when what i really want to do is work on my fanfic??? like????????? let me work on it, im so fckn srs!!!! i have ideas!!!!!

i always find it super frustrating when things get in the way of me writing. me not writing because i don’t have inspiration or motivation is one thing - when outside forces screw me over, that’s another, and super frustrating to boot.

unfortunately, today i have to go into work. i don’t feel like death like i did yesterday morning, but i know it’s going to set my recovery back even more. I can’t even call in, because there’s simply not enough personnel available to do so? and hilariously I picked up this sickness from work in the first place, so i get to spread it around more in some kind of vicious cycle of “HIRE AND TRAIN MORE PEOPLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU”

im sorry if it’s not great of me to ignore and not properly address the issue with jin’s fatphobic comment but the subject is extremely sensitive for me, and very upsetting. im avoiding watching the video or looking into detail as to what exactly was said but I do want to ask something– is there as much of a fuss when the other members make rude comments? I don’t think it should ever be tolerated. I tend to pretend south korea’s hate of fat people doesn’t exist, it’s hard enough here

Okay so i didnt go to a doctor person to teach me how to inject testosterone. I dont know why i keep doing everything wrong. When they gave me testosterone at the pharmacy i wasnt sure what to do but the pharmacy guy said “fill it up to here its intramuscular” so i went home and my friend roomate was like “we can do it” so i injected myself. I watched some videos to make sure i did everything right but i dont really know what to do with the needles or syringe or the t still left in the vial. Im going to see my doctor who prescribed me t in like 10 days about changes in the 2 weeks so i guess ill find out then. Kind of scared to be like “oh i didnt know i had to get a proffessional to show me what to do so i did it myself at home” and i have no clue if im supposed to throw away the needle and syringe because then how do i inject the rest of the t next time? All around im really confused. Transitioning has been the hardest, most confusing, time consuming thing ive ever done but its worth it. Ive wanted to transition for so long ans im so glad to finally be here but im in a constant state of “uhhh what do i do?????” I just wish i knew what i was doing and that things had clarity but they dont. I thought they would by now but i guess i just have to keep waiting through this muddled time.

Dear Mark

@markiplier


I just want to say thank you for many things. Thank you for just being there. Thank you for what you do. Thank you for believing in me, in this community, in everyone. It makes me happy to hear you say that.

I can’t remember when I started watching your channel, I think it was around the time of FNAF 1 and Ive been watching ever since and I’m glad I have been. Like this will probably sound crazy but listening to you rage and gush over video games is like Im hanging out with a friend. Even if I’m just listening to you it feels like that and Im happy.

And then theres the videos you do with friends like Bob, Wade, Tyler, Ethan, Amy and Kathryn, the charity livestreams etc and I live watching those. I haven’t managed to make it through the full 12 hours while its live but whenever I do manage ti watch them live it brings a smile to my face. Even if I go back and watch the full 12 hours a different time, it makes me smile.

So again, thank you.

~ Tazzy

Get To Know Me

I was tagged to do this MONTHS ago but didn’t find it till now what is shocking considering I was tagged my one of my TUMBLR IDOLS @diggs4life OH GOD IM SORRY! Anyway let’s do this

Define your perfect relationship: someone who can make me laugh, who can understand me and loves me. Also it would be killer if we had the same taste in terribly brilliant movies and video games

Can you go out without make up? How do you feel with and without it?

I usually go without but that’s mostly because I don’t understand how to actually do it correctly. When I do have it on I feel good, I feel pretty, without I suppose I just feel bland and average

Music when you are happy/sad/want to study?

Happy: heathers musical, Hamilton musical, in the heights musical, Porter Robinson, the rapture and first aid kit

Sad: Nowisee, to the moon soundtrack and the album time by Koethe

Study: Porter Robinson again, any instrumentals, blink 182 and Bastille

Colour of your favourite item of clothing and main room colour: favourite item of clothing is actually a white button up crop top main colour in my room is black, white and blue

Shows: biggest let down/ the surprise I like/can watch again: biggest let down was the last few seasons of bones… it’s just gotten worse and worse, the best surprise had to be in the walking dead when (SPOILER FOR SEASON 6) Carl lost his eye

What do your favourite characters have in common? Veronica sawyer, Alexander Hamilton, Daryl Dixon, Carl Grimes, Jd, Honoka Kousaka, You Watanabe, Johnny Joestar, Jotaro Kujo, Aristotle (from Aristotle and Dante discover the secretes of the universe), Eliza Hamilton, Yosuke Hanamura. What they all have in common? Oh wow, well they are all strong and passionate in there own ways. They won’t give up no matter what they face, they are also very intelligent in their own ways

Your first ship/last ship why did you ship them and what changed? Oh wow going back into the past now, my first ship ever? Honestly going back far enough it was Ash and Misty from Pokemon, I mean come on! They were adorable together, what changed? I guess I just kinda grew up and stoped caring about their fictional, non-existing relationship. My current ship? Ahhh there’s a manga called kimi ni todoke (it could actually be an anime as well now that I think about it) anyway! I ship the two main characters sawako and kazehaya together!

Tag 10 people

So this isn’t ten and i’m just throwing out accounts I really like I am tagging @weallscreamforfandomimagines @shinydixon @typicalserialkiller @bacongirl86 @princess-yosuke @such-a-common-girl @deadblogwalking @lovelivebackgrounds

the signs as memes
  • aries: JOHN CENA
  • taurus: ~animal crackers in my soup~
  • gemini: skeleton war
  • cancer: Dog of Wisdom
  • leo: those mlg youtube videos
  • virgo: Slayer
  • libra: when u mom com home and make hte spagheti
  • scorpio: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
  • sagittarius: I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS
  • capricorn: sanic
  • aquarius: rare pepe
  • pisces: BACK AT IT AGAIN AT KRISPY KREME
youtube

Hi! First of all, i love ur blog- im addicted!! Im not black, i’m south asian, but i still find it exciting when my idols interact with woc women! So yesterday i was watching a video of bts at lax airport and to my attention saw rapmon and a cute black fan make some eye contact and him smiling back! I feel like when he looked at her he got really shy. what do you think? xx

at 5:02

S/N: Hi! thank you so much! ^_^