this is what i did instead of sleeping last night

Swallowed a Thumbtack

Doc: So what brings you in tonight?

Patient: Last night when I was sleeping, I meant to reach for an ibuprofen but accidentally swallowed a thumbtack instead.

Doc: What kind of material was the tack made out of?

Patient: It was metal.

Doc: Well, I reviewed your X-rays and you don’t seem to have any thumbtack within your system.

Patient: Oh, well I must have passed it then.

Doc: When was your last bowel movement?

Patient: 2 days ago

Me: * Wat?*


Might as well post these here too. : D Last night I dug up my half dead Vriska wig and a giant roll of bandages and did a fast cosplay test instead of sleeping (like I always somehow end up doing, full moon didn’t help my judgement to sleep 4h instead of 5). Aizawa-sensei is fine af, it’d be cool to fully cosplay him someday~ Tests are dangerous in that aspect though, makes u want to do it better nowwww

tagged by @snaafu @dustyjumpwingz@joesphjtoye (thank you ily) 

Rules: put your iTunes/mp3/spotify on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

1.  U.N.I. by Ed Sheeran 

2. Preparing for the Patrol (from the Band of Brothers soundtrack)

3. Some Nights by fun. 

4. Earth (instrumental) by Sleeping At Last 

5. Charlie Boy by the Lumineers

6. Eye of the Tiger by Survivor 

7. Pompeii by Bastille

8. Submarines by the Lumineers

9. Out of the Garage (from the man from UNCLE soundtrack)

10. Winters on the Subway (from the Band of Brothers soundtrack)

tagging: @thatsthat24 @shiftyspirits @katejeevas @aces-low @janovec @fandomscenariosforyou @bullrandleman @snowmedics @derrickhill and I know everyone says this, but seriously, if you wanna do this, just say I tagged you and go for it!! 

Patreon drabble for @whitespireblackcity. King Alistair gets a most unexpected visitor in the night. (1023 words) 

“I don’t need an extra set of guards for my room.”

Teagan closed his eyes briefly, a hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he always did when he summoned his patience. “Your majesty, you’ve had three attempts on your life in the last month alone. One of the assassins made it all the way to your bedchamber before he was stopped.”

“Yes,” Alistair cut him off before he could continue, annoyance leaking into his words. “Stopped by me. I know you mean well, Uncle, but I’m not exactly incapable of fending off an attacker. I did help stop the last Blight, if you recall.”

“I realize that, but even the most experienced warrior can be defeated while they sleep. What if you indulge with a little too much wine one night? Or what if it’s a group next time instead of an individual. You can’t let yourself be hurt. You’re the King.”

“I know that!” Alistair snapped. “Maker’s Breath, I’ve been King for nearly a decade now. And I get reminded daily of the fact.”


I’ve decided,” he all but snarled, giving Teagan a firm glare until the man relented with a sigh.

“Very well, Your Majesty, but stashing a knife or two under your pillow each night wouldn’t go amiss.”

Alistair rolled his eyes after Teagan had turned away. A knife or two? He scoffed at the notion. Nearly half of the armory was tucked away in the nooks, crannies, and corners of his room.

“A knife or two,” he grumbled under his breath. “Honestly.”  He let out a slow breath, giving himself a moment of quiet before returning to the stack of petitions, treaties, and reports that had stacked up over the last few days. His eyes grew weary of the constant reposition halfway through the stack. With a groan, he set his head upon the desk. When Amara had been with him, he’d found the responsibilities of monarchy to be dull but manageable. Without her, it took all he had to keep the country from descending into chaos. Rumors questioned his legitimacy. Orlais whispered of war. The Inquisition continued to grow as an unknown, uncontrollable force. And he was supposed to keep it all together. Alone.


Keep reading

It is no secret on Tumblr that I have a playlist called Just Snow in Venice on Repeat (because Thomas reblogged that post) but what you probably might not know, is that instead of watching YouTube or Netflix to fall asleep (as I used to do), I listen to this playlist. 

And I did an experiment last night, turns out, I listen to the song over 500 times in the course of a single night (and since I usually play it on my phone and not my PC that play count is just representative of a single night). 

So, thank you @thatsthat24 for singing me to sleep every night. Ever since I started doing this, my nights have been anxiety free for as long as the song plays.

“Good morning, love birds.” Y/F/N strolled into the kitchen, letting out a small yawn before taking her seat next to you. 

“Morning.” You hummed, taking a sip of your coffee before taking note that she looked a lot more smug that usual. “What..?” You raised an eyebrow, your lips pursing slightly when she shrugged casually and reached over for a strip of bacon. 

“How did you sleep?” She asked, Harry turning around to glance at the two of you before returning to flipping a pancake. 

“I slept well. And yourself?” You cleared your throat before swallowing thickly. Harry had spent the night over for the first time in your relationship (you two had been together for three months now), and as much as you loved having Y/F/N as a roommate, you wished you had come home to an empty apartment last night instead of coming home to see Y/F/N shoving ice cream into her mouth while watching Netflix. 

“I mean, that ice cream put me straight to sleep. I just.. I woke up around midnight to hear the strangest creaks and groans.” Harry immediately whipped around, glancing at you with wide eyes before turning the burner off and setting a plate of pancakes on the countertop. “Must have been the house settling, but it just sounded like-” 

“Would you like strawberries with your pancakes, Y/F/N? Got them from the farmer’s market.” Harry cut her off, exchanging looks with you before giving your friend a polite smile. 

“Hey, you guys don’t need to be all shy! Sex is a perfectly natural thing! On the other hand.. Harry, you never told me you had a daddy kink. Cheeky!” She grinned, grabbing another strip of bacon before hopping off the stool and making her way into the living room. 

“Oh boy..” Harry’s cheeks immediately brightened, a shy smile spreading on his features. (He gave you four orgasms last night - He had to take a little pride in that.)

“But keep it down next time, yeah? I’m talking about you, Y/N. A girl needs her beauty sleep.” 

“We’ll go to my place next time, love.”


gif isn’t mine!


Hello everyone! It’s Loci, your friendly neighbourhood young adult with memory problems and a lack of motivation here to tell you about what I did yesterday.

So we all know how much I love camp camp, right? I figure there’s some motivation to be found from David’s positivity alone. So here’s my daily Camp Camp Badge Board! (the name needs work I know but I only got 45 minutes of sleep last night give me a break ok).

I made 24 “badges” to help me keep track of what I’ve done every day, and it’s an attempt to make me feel better about the little things I’ve done that day instead of focusing on the things I didn’t do. And there’s David there with a little bit of extra encouragement.

A list of some of the badges you see, because gosh this post would be long if I named them all.

You’ve got basic stuff like getting out of bed, showering, taking medicine (which I constantly forget to do), taking care of my fish, eating all three meals. Those kinds are mosly for memory. Then there’s the others that are more for motivation, like writing, drawing, applying for jobs, walking and running, cleaning, and the 5, 10, and 20 badge badges. (I realise I named most of them but sue me I’m doing my best).

I haven’t exactly figured out a reward system to keep me going at this, but I assume it’ll be something like if I get a certain amount of badges in a month I’ll treat myself to ice cream at the end of it or something.

So this post is really long and I am sorry and I am sure this doesn’t matter to any of you but I just thought it was a cheap and fun way to try to get myself back on track during the summer, and figured I would share. Happy camping!

you know what’s fun is to just replace common english words with less common synonyms, like instead of “How did you sleep?” say “How was your slumber?” and instead of “Hold on, I gotta pee” say “Hold on, I gotta urinate” and if you have a roommate who likes sexytimes you could inquire, “so how was the coitus last night?” you’re just changing one word but it really freaks people out

Just a little note

Thank you guys for all of the kind messages. They really helped me through the day. Like, I woke up to seventy-four messages. I wish I could reply to each and every one of you, but y’know, that’d take awhile. Seriously, reading through all of those instead of seeing the negative stuff did help me with my day because I went to rehearsal with 3 hours of sleep.

I am sorry that you guys had to see what was going on. I tried keeping it behind closed doors for awhile but last night it really did hit the peak. So yeah, thank you all.