this is what happens when you buy cheap things

So Crowley in supermarkets

Do you think he has days that he just dedicated to going to shops and fucking with things or do you think he’ll go in to the shop simply because he happens to be passing by and oh, it’s been a couple of weeks since he’s terrorised shoppers, he may as well pop in

But what if there’s one of those small co-ops or tescos on the corner of one of the streets in soho and sometimes when he’s on his way to aziraphale’s he’ll just go in (buying a bottle of the most expensive wine these cheap chain stores sell so as to not draw too much suspicion)
(Aziraphale would then ask ‘why did you buy a bottle, dear, when you can just will one into existence? Plus I have a selection of far better wines in my back room here’
And Crowley would reply 'fancied doing it this way this time, feels proper’
And aziraphale would smirk, thinking that Crowley’s just getting to be a better person and a worse demon day by day and not quite realising that havoc was recked, even though he should perhaps expect it by now)

Okay but can you imagine Christmas time

All he’d have to do tbh is go into the biggest supermarket there is and just move half filled trolleys half a foot to the left so they get in everyone’s way and have half the tills closed so that the queues are really long and just basically stand there, in the middle of the shop, so people have to go round him

Maybe he spends a day as a shelf stacker and he stacks products in the wrong places on purpose so that people can’t find them

Or!!! He turns all the wine into water or something equally non-alcoholic so that shoppers pay a ridiculously high price for a surprise

Or maybe he makes all the chocolates in those gift chocolate boxes disappear so the receiver is both utterly confused and quite disappointed (not to mention a little annoyed maybe: 'you got me a box of chocolates with no chocolates in?’)

Maybe he turns all the tracks on all the copies of one of the most popular CDs into Queen songs, because if he has to suffer then everyone else should too

Perhaps he walks around really clumsily on purpose and knocks a shit load of stuff over and leaves it all on the floor so it gets in people’s way and the worker’s time setting it all up nicely is wasted and also so maybe the stuff that falls gets damaged

OOH! Those Christmas trees that most big shops have in their entrance!! He’d turn all the baubles to glass and then proceed to walk into the tree and watch as they smashed (making sure that no one gets TOOOOO injured by the broken glass)

Maybe he’d turn the music track that some stores play in the background into a Best of Queen track too

Maybe he’d just have bohemian rhapsody playing on a loop

Maybe he’d go to the fruit and veg part of the store and just help himself to apples because hey, he should be entitled to, right??
(Now I’m picturing him walking around tescos eating an apple while a couple of store employees try to get him to stop and pay for it, but he’s having none of that)

Just Crowley creating chaos in supermarkets, that’s all I want