this is what happens when i'm drunk at home

I got blacked out drunk alone last night. I wonder what that says about me. I keep telling myself I’m adulting cause I’m not doing it at parties anymore with strangers. It feels like a lie though. What happens when you take the party girl out of the party? What happens when she’s alone? What does it mean when i start sobering up and my immediate thought is to run back to the bottle? I’m not scared anymore. But a part of me doesn’t want to find out what truly happens when I sober up. It runs in the family you know. My moms wine soaked words turning our home into just a house. My intoxicated mistakes turned my own room into a crime scene. Does anyone true care what happens to the girl when no ones looking, behind closed doors in red light rooms? I’m not scared anymore. I don’t care if he finds me here. Or that’s what I keep telling myself. I can’t if it’s a lie or the truth anymore. I think the liquor lies keep me sane most days. I think the liquor lies keep me safe most days. You know I heard alcohol makes a great stain remover. Does it make me a stain in this world when I feel like my own existence rejects me unless I take in enough alcohol to try and remove it? Remove wine from her hand, the words from my head, and me from you. What happens when you take a party girl out of the party? I’m not scared anymore. I just don’t know if that’s a good thing.

Dynamite Hack starters.
  • "I'll wait for you. I always do."
  • "Nothing bad I've ever done could warrant this."
  • "You picked the wrong disaster."
  • "Tell yourself that I don't care-- the things you say, the drugs you take."
  • "I am so happy here."
  • "Break my heart and sleep around."
  • "Don't say heartbreak."
  • "Maybe someday you'll see that I would like to be with you and you to be with me too."
  • "I said some things I probably should have kept to myself."
  • "Do what it takes to make it through the day."
  • "I can't picture myself without you."
  • "What's keeping me here?"
  • "Oh what the hell, I'm through with you anyway."
  • "I keep thinking, if I could do last night again I'd act so differently... but I guess I'm gonna have to live with this."
  • "You picked the wrong addiction."
  • "I'm fading in and out of your business."
  • "It's just not accepted! It's still not allowed."
  • "I need your love in my arms."
  • "I want to see if you'd ever feel the same."
  • "So stop following me, I've got nothing to say."
  • "There must be something I can do."
  • "I don't want to leave here just yet."
  • "Every single thing I say gets taken out of context some way."
  • "It's getting on my nerves, so let's call it a night."
  • "Feelings are like attitudes--bad and nothing in between."
  • "It's a long trek taken without all the people you're used to taking it with."
  • "Through the years you have matured, but you'll always look the same to me."
  • "I've seen all I care to hear of what in me is wrong."
  • "But I disagree. Maybe they will see all the pretty things I see."
  • "It's over now-- it's too late."
  • "Man your soul is rotten, but your teeth are pearly white."
  • "Without you I'm better off anyway."
  • "I sat at home and thought of what to say to you when I saw you again."
  • "You're forcing your way in my life."
  • "I want you less and less each day."
  • "I'm drunk but I want some anyway."
  • "I just don't care enough about this to make the effort to show you that I care enough to try to get you back in bed with me."
  • "Is it true? If you were here, I'd ask you."
  • "You know, these things, they happen."
  • "Guys like you are always so entertaining."
  • "Trust me, I won't be sick of all these words I'll never write."
  • "I never get mad, 'cause I know you and how you can be."
  • "Think of what a great boyfriend I could be."
  • "This should be a break for us-- a night that isn't in a pill."
  • "I don't even have all that I'm cracked up to be."
  • "You gotta' be kidding me."
  • "I just want to be alone, sit here and get stoned."
  • "I don't wanna fight, but you never let it go."
  • "I want out of here."
  • "'I'm a jerk, I'm a dog.' That's what you'll say about me."
  • "So here we are, stuck in Hell."
  • "Got drunk again just to drown out my regrets."
  • "Give me one more chance to try and be a little more unkind."
  • "This isn't how it's supposed to be."
3

Day 1: first time that Legolas and Gimli gave Aragorn some peace (by stopping their bickering for once in favor of some much needed rest). Legolas just accidentally made his way to where he is positioned, in his sleep, or so he would try to feebly protest later on. Gimli would pretend that he minded very much, although he woke way before he started acting indignant that the blasted elf was using him as a pillow.

And so ends my meager entry for gigolas week.

this is so embarassingly sketchy and bad

Alice in wonderland
  • Jungkook: woah, what happened last night?
  • Namjoon: you got pretty wasted.
  • Jungkook: But hyung, I don't even drink.
  • Namjoon: says the guy who's still in his pikachu suit. You came home last night to put that on and pretended you were the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Not only, you hopped around the living room with the clock in your hand and mumbles, "I'm going to be late in finding my eggs..." Whatever that may mean. And not only, you looked up Yoongi hyung's pic to when he wore that maid outfit and said he's Alice and-
  • Jungkook: Okay hyung, I geddit!

DUDE, YES

AND WITH THAT, MY NEW OTP, DIGSTOPHER, WAS BORN

it’s perfect!!!

initially they bond over lovin’ and losin’ lorelai gilmore

and being rich dudes with jobs and emotional issues or whatevs (idk)

but then they are the unexpected yin to each other’s yang! (that sounds sort of dirty.)

(also, didn’t christopher, like, prank jason at summer camp when they were kids or something? their tempestuous relationship, though never witnessed onscreen, has already begun)

christopher – so charming, so impulsive, so carefree! jason – so awkward, so high strung, so neurotic! both of them witty and fond of a good banter! christopher teaches jason to live a little! jason teaches christopher to, i don’t know, be more committed to his work or something? (honestly i can’t really figure out what jason would bring to a relationship besides weirdness and workaholism.) mostly christopher gets jason to lighten up and be less weird. and maybe calm down and play x-box like a normal person.

i like to think that gigi is just deeply unimpressed by jason, and he always tries to kinda get on her good side by mentioning things like one direction and selfies, but mostly whenever they are in the same place she just stares doubtfully at jason until jason can’t take the pressure and pretends to be texting someone on his phone (or really does text chris, things along the lines of, “your child is looking at me again, help. are you sure she’s not possessed by satan? COME BACK”), or hides in the bathroom

they’re a beautiful modern family

not to mention lorelai’s reaction when this information somehow stumbles its way into her life

imagine her idly browsing facebook and then

there it is

“Christopher Hayden is in a relationship with Jason (Not Digger!!!) Stiles”

and proceeding to stare at the computer for at least 45 minutes in bafflement

and luke’s reaction; i have a sneaking suspicion that he would try to be supportive and calm for lorelai’s sake but also find the whole thing hilarious and almost violently delightful. the years he suffered over these two dudes’ presence in his one true boo’s life, and HERE THEY ARE. A COUPLE. WITH EACH OTHER.

and don’t even get me started on emily’s reaction

i like to imagine it would involve her snapping “WHAT?????” over and over with increasing manic disapproval, and refusing to believe it until lorelai showed her the picture on facebook of christopher and jason holding hands at the beach while walking cyrus the dog, who thanks to christopher’s good influence has finally been allowed to go outside

and then she and lorelai would probably get drunk and laugh hysterically for two hours

(now when digstopher doesn’t happen in the revival i’m going to be super disappointed.

then again, it is netflix, home of the abundant gayness. let’s keep our fingers crossed.)