this is what happens when i have time to kill before work

I didn’t think I’d be able to study today. I wasn’t feeling right all day, and the inevitable happened when I feel crappy and I started getting a headache I knew would turn into a migraine. I took some painkillers hoping to kill it before it got any worse.

I wasn’t feeling 100% but I did open my folders and began to organise some things in there in the hopes it made me feel like reading.

And it did. So that’s one more lecture down! Again, it was a small lecture so that helped. But I did it. And that makes me feel equal parts good for finishing it and anxious because sure what I’ve read isn’t enough knowledge in my head to get this work done. But that’s those little demons in my head trying to discourage me. 

So I have added study time into tomorrow’s plan. I’m trying out a new way of doing my daily that I found while Googling Bullet Journal’s. 1 page of a weekly to put important appointments. And a timeline for my daily to plan out my whole day.

Quote on my daily page is;

‘We have our wits, we just have to focus on being constructive’ - Hook, Once Upon A Time.

I am making a concerted effort to write something at the end of the day. Even if it’s only something short. Studies show that writing something, even nonsense, helps with mental health, and recovery. So in an effort to utilise every tool in my arsenal to get my head out of the black pit it’s in, that’s what I’m doing.


And because I haven’t said yet with this being the newest iteration of me/my blog, my askbox is always open and anon is on (at least as far as I know, I didn’t check but it should be).

8

get to know me meme: current celebrity crushes [8/20] Oliver Sykes
No one lives forever. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Our generation is expected to die before our parents. It’s so hard to break the boundaries that society have put on us, but you have to. I know it’s hard to not be scared about the future, you think you have to work non-stop so you can live when you’re older. But fuck it. Your teenage years will be the best years of your life. So go live them. Road trips, making friends, whatever. Just go do it. Don’t waste your time now for the future, because it may never happen. You may be killed tomorrow. I’m never going to live my life in the conventional form of birth-school, college, work, marriage, the grave. Fuck that. That’s what ‘This is what the edge of your seat was made for’ is about. Let’s not change the subject-let’s go chase the sunset, bring me the horizon meaning stop putting off shit, get off the computer, and go make an unforgettable moment happen with your friends. Go get that feeling like when you’re in a different country and the air is warm, and you feel so different.

Etched into My Skin

pairing: jungkook-centric , jikook 

warnings: none

length: 1.2k words (oneshot)

s: soulmate au where the timer on your arm reflects the time you have left till you mean your soulmate 

an: for jungkooksarms because she said yes when i asked if i should post this and for being the first person to read this

Jungkook stared at the numbers etched into the skin of his left arm as he watched the countdown tick away, each second leaving him a little more nervous than before.

0:0:0:0:02:27:09

.08

.07

.06

“Are you ready?” he startled a bit at hearing his roommate’s voice beside him and glared at him for catching him off-guard.

“Not really,” he replied after a moment, sighing deeply, “but it’s not like I can stop it from happening. You know, fate and what-not.”

His roommate hummed and looked at his own arm, “Five hours, twelve minutes and thirty-eight seconds. Looks like you’ll be meeting them a little earlier than me. Then the life you have as you know it will cease to exist.”

He didn’t reply, too drowned in his own doubts and insecurities to craft a possible response to that. Millions of unanswered questions lingered in his mind. What if I’m not good enough, was among them.

“Of course you’re good enough.”

Oh. He hadn’t realized that he had said it out loud.

Jungkook turned to look at him and Seokjin’s face softened when he saw the flecks of fear in Jungkook’s doe-eyes. He touched Jungkook’s forearm lightly and instinctively, Jungkook pulled it away and tugged the sleeve of his sweater down to cover the illuminated numbers.

“You don’t know that,” he muttered. Seokjin frowned but didn’t comment. Jungkook knew his opinion and Seokjin knew him.  It would be better for both of them if he left it. He only hoped whoever his soulmate was wouldn’t do the same.

They sat in awkward silence for a couple of minutes before Seokjin decided to head out to work at the diner. He would probably meet his supposed soulmate there anyway and he didn’t want to keep them waiting.

Yes, he was very well aware of the fact that their meeting would be 5 hours away. It didn’t matter. Jungkook needed time alone and he would give him that. He gave him a chaste quick hug and a whispered, ‘I love you Kookie, remember that’ before he was out the door and on his way.

Jungkook stared after him, his face a picture of guilt. He considered Seokjin one of his best friends, if not his older brother. He was family. He understood Jungkook better than anyone else and how did he repay him? By being cold and distant. He had been for the past week, stressed over the countdown.

He pulled up his sleeve and stared at his forearm again. He traced the illuminated numbers gently with his index finger.

He recalled a particular paragraph in the soulmate book his father had given him as a child:

“Each and every child is born with numbers on their left forearm known as the “countdown”. When a child reaches the age of maturity, their numbers will illuminate, indicating the time it will take for one to find their soulmate, their other half. When the countdown hits zero, their numbers will dull and they will find the soul in which theirs is tethered to, those who are bound by love for eternity. May they live a long and prosperous life in the company of the other and may they find happiness in whatever relationship they choose to pursue.”

They will find the soul in which theirs is tethered to, those who are bound by love for eternity.

This was going to be a long day.

He had to get to work in a couple of hours for a meeting with a big shot producer in hopes of having them sign him to their record company. Although, he could honestly say that he was more nervous about finally meeting his soulmate more than anything. To think that in a couple of hours he would know their identity, their name, their age, what they looked like. He could wake up tomorrow with the knowledge that he had found the one and they could ride into the sunset together. Of course there were people who ignored the countdown altogether and were now married with kids without any slightest regret but Jungkook wasn’t them. He couldn’t afford to think like that when he didn’t even know if he would be good enough for his own soulmate.

Eventually, he got tired of waiting around the house, too anxious to stay in his stuffy apartment. He grabbed what he needed: phone, check, wallet, check, keys, check, file, check, demo, check and was out the door in an instant.

He arrived at the studio and entered the lobby of Bighit Entertainment a few minutes early. He checked in at the reception desk, where he waited for the receptionist to give him the signal to “go on up”. He glanced at his arm - 0:0:0:0:0:03:28. Three minutes. It wasn’t her.

“You can go ahead and go up now. Wait by the elevators,” the receptionist says without so much as a glance in his direction. He followed her instructions and headed for the lobby elevators. Nothing happened. The seconds simply drag on. 0:0:0:0:0:2:09.

A young, blonde girl with striking blue eyes steps out of the elevator to greet him.

“Jeon?” He chanced a quick glance to his arm - 0:0:0:0:0:1:32. It wasn’t her either, then.

“Yes?”

“The meeting is on the sixth floor, the door at the end of the corridor to your right. They are waiting for you,” she stated. “I would show you to the room myself but I’m afraid I have errands to run. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I can make it there myself,” he replied in a tone he hoped was reassuring enough to hide his anxiousness. She wished him well and he watched as she rushed past him towards the reception desk and shook his head in disbelief as he entered the elevator.

“Sixth floor,” he reminded himself as he pressed the button for the sixth floor and waited. 0:0:0:0:0:01:05. He was almost there.

He waited for what felt like an eternity for the elevator to reach its intended destination. 0:0:0:0:0:0:10. He reached the 3rd floor and it ‘dings’ open, a sharply dressed brunette steps in, smiling softly at Jungkook before her eyes focused on the elevator doors. This had to be her, there was no one else. Who else could it be? He waited, staring intently at his arm and looking alternately from the numbers to the brunette who wasn’t paying him much attention.

0:0:0:0:0:0:05. The elevator door ‘dings’ open on the fourth floor and the brunette steps out and a young, fresh faced boy with coifed chestnut hair enters gracefully with a warm smile directed at Jungkook.

The elevator door closes.

0:0:0:0:0:0:04

03

02

01

00

They stared at their forearms for a moment, their illuminated numbers almost dulling as it was stuck on one set of numbers - 0:0:0:0:0:0:0.

They looked up and locked gazes, eyes wide and wondering.

“Hi!” the other boy said brightly, and really his smile was so infectious, Jungkook found himself smiling as well. “I’m Park Jimin!”

“Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook replied somewhat hesitantly as Jimin draped his arm around Jungkook’s shoulder easily.

“Well, Jeon Jungkook, looks like you’ll be stuck with me from now till forever.”

So today I was at Barnes and Noble wearing a grey shirt with the autobot emblem on it. My phone was stuck in my shorts band with the screen glowing though the shirt since the material is thin. 

I’m just browsing through the books and killing time before my mom come to pick me up, when I hear this little girl whisper.

“Mommy, I think that girl is a transformer.” The mother quietly scolds her child because apparently transformers aren’t real. (who knew?) The girl keeps insisting to her mother that I am either an autobot or work with the autobots.

At first I think she’s talking about someone else, but then it dawns on me that I have to be the one they’re talking about. So right at that moment my phone rings and I answer it. It’s my mom telling me she’s outside to pick me up, but I respond by saying.

“Alright Optimus, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Tell Bumblebee I said hi.”

The little girl then runs over to me and tells me to say that she says hi to Bumblebee also. I was also told to say hi to Arcee and Bulkhead. I said i will and headed outside to my mom. 

I was having a think earlier, and it occurred to me that it actually makes more sense for the Empire to have rounded up the people in Tarkintown before burning it down than for them to have just torched the place and killed everyone.

  1. Vader specifically said “I want you to burn it.” Agent Kallus is a sadistic zealot, but he’s pragmatic and follows orders to the letter. No point in wasting time and resources lining everybody up for execution when you can just burn the place.
  2. It’s a helluva lot easier to set someone’s house on fire when you’ve got them in cuffs. 
  3. Pointless waste of life. It makes no sense to kill a bunch of people when you can just as easily set them to work mining resources.
  4. If there are no survivors, there’s no one to tell the other citizens about what happens when you associate with those who oppose the Empire.
  5. What’s worse: knowing for sure that your friend is dead, or not knowing where they are in the galaxy, if they’re alive or dead, or what they’re doomed to live out the rest of their days doing, all because you brought them lunch a few weeks ago?

Am I saying everyone survived? No, I’m sure some people met a fiery end, but having people taken prisoner isn’t necessarily Disney whitewashing the truth for the kids or Kanan telling Ezra a lie to comfort him.

I find it fascinating when people are trying to sell DE as Pacey and Joey…I mean, Pacey & Joey were frenemies who learn to like each other by being friends and then fell in love…

DE were never frenemies, ifJoey would have accept half the shit Pacey did just like Elena with Damon, Pacey and Joey would never be the couple they are or have half of the amazing relationship they had.

Bamon are like Pacey and Joey. I mean, they barely tolerated each other, then they learn to be around each other without trying to kill one another for Elena’s sake and then after spending time together without Elena, they became friends and now they are best friends so…

…Let’s see what’s going to happen. It would work if Williamson was back but with The Plague and the Dried One…expectations are pretty in the negative sector of my mind. Let’s pray the return of Kevin.

Plec saying Bonnie wasn’t that important before her friendship with Damon means how little she already thought of the character…(that snake tss)