this is what happens when i have a day off and nothing to do

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

look at me - i will never pass for a perfect bride

so i know i already made a retold mulan post but i just LOVE MULAN SO MUCH so here’s another

in the original myth mulan isn’t really a clumsy fish out of water. she’s strong and smart and the reason she goes to war is because she’s the most qualified person in her family to fight, regardless of gender.

so how about this: mulan’s a fighter. she knows exactly who she is, like in the original myth, she’s knows how to be the blossoming flower and the great stone dragon. she’s still mulan though, so she still doesn’t memorize the silly ways she’s supposed to be a good wife and has little patience for appearing graceful while pouring tea. she’s innovative and courageous and beautiful, but no one is under any illusions about what kind of wife she’ll be.

and the matchmaker is the matchmaker for the li family as well, for this great big part of china. and general li wants his son to be married before he goes off to war, wants his son to have a reason to fight to live, like a wife waiting for him. and the matchmaker reads the stars and the tea leaves and the astrology charts, and no matter what all the signs point to one thing: the honorable li shang is destined to marry the insolent, arrogant fa mulan.

the matchmaker isn’t going to let that happen, she refuses to be responsible for that disaster of a wedding. so she sends her most beautiful girls, the ones that are obedient and quiet and know their roles, the ones that are eager to marry into the li family.

and each of them are entertained and met and sent back. shang is many things, but smooth isn’t one of them, he has nothing to say to these quiet girls who smile at him, feels large and awkward around their polite smiles. so he and his father go to the matchmaker’s village, shang reluctantly and his father to demand she stops messing with them and provides a proper bride.

it’s on the day that mulan and the other girls are parading in the street. shang sees a girl - mulan - hurry into the end of the line, jumping over a bench and darting around a careening wagon to get there, and stifles a laugh.

then there’s no reason to laugh at all, because a group of huns have decided that this village is in their way, and attack.

everyone scatters, women hide, children hide, and most of the men do too. shang and his father join the fight with some of the other men who hadn’t hid, and these men are starved, clearly not with shan yu, so even though they’re outnumbered they’ll likely win.

shang sees a hun go to attack the girl he’d seen earlier, the girl for whatever reason hadn’t run and hid. the hun raises a sword above his head to strike her down, and shang is so sure he’s about to see this pretty girl lose her head.

but she doesn’t. instead she rolls out of the way, and pops up, headbutting him in the stomach. she takes his sword from his now-slack grip and plunges it into his chest. without hesitation or pause the girl joins the fight, swinging the sword expertly and cutting down every man who stands against her. soon they’re fighting back to back, and shang has never felt more in sync with another person. she cuts off the head of the last hun, and shang has never seen anyone more beautiful than this girl, dress ripped and make up smudged and covered in blood that isn’t hers.

“mulan,” one of the other girls says, peaking out of a store front, “is it over?”

the girl, mulan, looks out over the dozen dead men and says, grimly, “it’s barely begun.” she searches the crowd, finding and old man and yelling, “gather the bodies, we’ll burn that at dusk outside of the village. everyone else,” her eyes sweep across the gathered people, and shang is struck by the fact that this girl isn’t well liked. there’s anger and disapproval in many of the faces, but they’re listening. these people don’t like her. but they do trust her. “let’s clean this all up. these were bandits, not soldiers. there’s nothing more to fear.”

“what if there are more?” the other girl asks, arms wrapped around herself.

mulan raises her stolen sword and says, “then i will slice them to ribbons. this is our village, and this is our country. any who would try to take it from us - from me - will suffer the consequences.”

and it shouldn’t be comforting, hearing words of violence from this young girl, yet everyone around them relaxes, and gets moving, gather the bodies and tending the wounded.

“who are you?” his father asks, and someone who doesn’t know him might think he was angry, but shang can tell he’s impressed.

mulan turns to them and bows, “my apologies. i am fa mulan, daughter of fa zhou. thank you for helping us.” she stands, and shang meets her eyes for the first time.

he swallows, and blurts out, “you - you fight good.”

his father coughs to hide his laughter, but mulan’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “thank you. you do as well.”

and they just keep standing there smiling at each other until his father claps his hands and is like okay - they’ll have to report this to the emperor, no time to dawdle, have to go now.

so they take their leave, and shang thinks this is the last time he’ll see fa mulan.

except there’s still the draft, and this time mulan doesn’t take no for an answer, won’t hear of it. her father is injured and old and she is young and fit to fight. she will go in his place.

so she arrives at the camp, prepared to pretend and lie - except she goes to meet her commanding officer and it’s him, that boy who had fought with her. shang’s eyes widen, but they’re in front of too many people. he can see it on her face, her fear, and she hadn’t shown any fear when she was facing down over a dozen huns, but she does now. so he makes his choice and says nothing, pretends he buys her story.

she tracks him down that night and demands an explanation. he says this war is too important to kill good warriors, whatever gender they are. he swears to keep her secret. mulan is his best soldier from the beginning, and means to treat her like anyone else, but it’s impossible. she isn’t like anyone else, is strong and smarter and braver than them. they argue tactics, and she’s the only one who can give him a workout in hand to hand, and he doesn’t have trouble finding his words with her. he finds himself falling in love with her, but doesn’t say anything. she’s not here for love, she’s here for a war. he vows to say something if they survive this, but it’s unlikely that will happen.

they head to the front earlier. they get there in time to provide back up for his father and his army, and it’s a loss but not a slaughter. his father is too distracted to notice ping is the girl from the village. all he knows is this soldier had led the second wave of attacks, and it was thanks to her any of them were alive at all. they prevent half of the huns from getting through the pass, but that’s still an army heading for the imperial city. the general is injured, so mulan and shang lead the army after him.

they find him at the mountain, and just like before mulan uses the cannon to destroy the army. she knew it would spell their death, but it was worth it, for her people, for her country, for her family. this time it’s shang that won’t accept her death, that tries to drag her unconscious body to safety. only he fails, and mulan becomes buried under the snow.

they return to the city, and shang is besides himself - the woman he loves is dead, she saved them all and she’s gone, and he’ll never recover from this. only he can’t tell his father this, their friends. they think he mourns a friend, not the woman he wanted to make his wife.

except mulan survives, and sees the other huns as well. only she kills them there before they can get to the city, and decides this is for the best. fa ping dies honorably in battle, and fa mulan is free to return home to her family.

so general li decides that it’s time to go to that matchmaker again, and demand she stop playing games. the matchmaker confesses that she thought the bride was unsuitable, and the general demands she send her anyway.

so mulan has barely had the chance to settle back home when the matchmaker shows up at her door saying she’s sending her to see a potential husband, but not who. so mulan shows up all made up to li household and shang drags himself into the room, already resigned to a loveless marriage, when they see each other. “mulan?” he demands, and his father is all pleased because it’s the fighting girl from the village.

but then his son starts crying and they run to each other. shang picks her up in his arms and she clings to him, and shang is babbling about how he thought she was dead, and mulan is so overjoyed that she’s with shang, and shang wants her, that she kisses him without explaining.

except now shang’s father demands an explanation. so they give it to him, the whole story comes tumbling out, and he stares hard at her, and remembers her as ping, the brave soldier that had saved them all. he’s not upset - he ecstatic. he goes to the emperor and tells him everything, and the emperor officially offers mulan an officer position in the army. she accepts, as long as shang is by her side. shang seconds this, and they set in motion the plans for the wedding.

fa mulan and li shang get married and lead armies and live happily ever after, just like the stars intended.


read more of my retold fairytales here

Real Talk: Jackson. Appropriation VS Appreciation.

This is about Jackson Wang from Got7 wearing dread locks in a Chinese advertisement, just in case you haven’t seen all of the drama and people attacking him. (pictures below)

I’ll start off with saying, I don’t give a fuck that he wore dreadlocks. There, that saved you a lot of reading and time, so if you would like to unfollow/block me, go ahead. Agree to disagree. People want MY opinion on this, so here it is:

The way people are attacking him is all kinds of wrong. I’m ok with people explaining nicely about the history of dreads and how people can take an offense to non Black people wearing that style, that’s their opinion, even though some where being way too harsh about it but reading all the hate comments are disgusting. You would think Jackson got caught in an animal cruelty case (God forbid) or rape case (God forbid), so I’m reading twitter and instagram and saying to myself…what is happening? I’ve never seen K Hip Hop artist get THIS much heat and they wear dreads and braids on a daily basis, but when Jackson wears them in an ad, he gets so much hate and death threats.

“He’s so wrong”

“Educate him”

“He doesn’t care about Black people but he’s wearing our hair style” - Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know Jackson hated Black people..

Let me tell you something, I know people are going to hate me for my opinion, but they hate me anyway lol, so fuck it. I understand where their passion comes from, people hate that other races look up to Black people and want to dress like us, be like us, but at the end of the day they don’t want to be with us or could care less about us for real, I GET IT!. I get it, there’s a lot of people out there that don’t like us for real but wear our hair styles. I understand appropriation. I understand the history of it all. I’m proud to be Black and love my race, my culture and the passion we have.

And I also love that other races look up to our people sooo much that they want to dress like their favorite rapper, or try their style, the rappers themselves are even flattered and don’t care, they just love that they are looked up to and inspire people of all races.

Oh wait, my antil Blackness coon-ness is showing, let me stop! (sarcasm)

But personally, If people who are not Black wear braids, dreadlocks and they’re NOT doing it to mock us, profit from us, claiming it as their own, not a racist, and fucks with my people heavy and NOT doing it to degrade our race (like Jackson!), then I don’t give a damn how you wear your hair, bitch you can wear dreadlocks til yo ass 90, I do not give a damn, there’s some fuck up things going on out there in the REAL world of appropriation. Like this fashion show that was urban themed, gave them afros, braids, but there were no Black people in the show, obviously I was annoyed, because what are they doing? Profiting off of Black people and NOT giving any credit and claiming it as new/ their own. That’s the problem with appropiating. It’s stealing from one’s culture and giving no credit.

What is Jackson doing? Is he racist? is he claiming it as his own? Is he constantly doing it? Is he discrediting Black people and acting like it’s a brand new thing he’s doing?

What did Jackson do that SOOOOOOO MANY other non Black people do every day and are getting their hair braided as I type this. I’m lost as to why people are jumping down his throat and giving him threats and demanding an apology like he said “N*gger” or something?

This girl shared my inner thoughts on appropriation. (should watch this).

And also this.


^ He’s right!  What I said above, he’s NOT doing it to degrade or profit from our race. I said my thoughts before he even responded.

+ People are offended by his response saying he “is saying fck you to us, he doesn’t care about our culture, he doesn’t listen to us”, damn! what do you want him to say? Do you not see the hate comments he’s getting?, telling him to die, saying racial slurs, you guys want to play victim in every little thing so badly, there is NOTHING wrong with his responses, they are haters. He could’ve said worse.

+And “you are on the wrong page” he’s right! If you don’t like him and want to send him hate, then you ARE ON THE WRONG PAGE. If you have a problem with him, then don’t be on his page. don’t even click on it.

^HE APPRECIATES OUR PEOPLE!

HE’S INSPIRED BY OUR PEOPLE!

HE LOVES OUR PEOPLE!

HE LOOKS UP TO OUR PEOPLE!

The last thing on my mind is someone’s hair. I don’t know about y’all but I got bigger fish to fry in this racist world, and Jackson’s 2 minute twists are the least of the problem.

And I know they will say, “So who cares wrong is wrong, he needs to be educated”, HE IS! He knows about Black people, his role models are Black, so of course he’s going to want what they want, you guys are acting like he wore the dreads to be ignorant and racist and you’re acting like he constantly “steals” from our culture and profits from it, he doesn’t.

I’m out.

Here’s the picture:


Watch the haters come in 3, 2, 1…

melodrama (track by track)

green light: the haunting revelation of being free after the break up. but you don’t know what to do with that freedom. it’s frightening and beautiful and inspiring and it makes you lonely and excited all at once. you want to dance with friends and scream out the car window but you hit every red light just at the mere thought of ever moving on.

sober: depression and anxiety is wasting away your youth. you live for the weekend to come. you live for any kind of buzz. you sleep until the bright orange afternoon creeps into your window. but the night is always there for you. the parties, the confetti and the blue lights that rain down, is all worth it in the moment. until you realize you’re all alone.

homemade dynamite: all your decisions and all your actions are self destructive. every bottle of liquor you finish and every house you destroy, you know it’s a form of self hate. but it’s how you cope through all the bullshit.

the louvre: a evening drive through the city with your lover. the day is warm and the tar on the road is hot. the window is down and the air feels liberating. you want to love them forever. but it’s a sunday and your stomach sinks and nothing lasts forever. and now your at a house party months later and everyone is high and the music is booming and you see your ex across the room and you feel like you know no one there and you want to hide away so you leave and no one notices anyways.

liability: you blame the break up on all your insecurities. you blame it all on the way you’d call them every night crying. you think that maybe your sadness is contagious. you should’ve known to sterilize yourself from the start.

hard feelings/loveless: you pack up everything that belonged to them and put it into a box. you practice not having their name on your tongue. you attempt to forget the taste of them. you consider holding on and staying friends, but that anger overrules and you throw that box off the highway bridge. you’re over the aching and now you moved onto the hard feelings. you want to blame them for everything. summer nights are too long. mornings are empty without their texts of “good morning” and you taste this endless nostalgia for the rest of your life. but you don’t let them see this side of you. you let them see the anger. you let them think you’re indestructible.

sober II: growing up with drama stuffed inside of you like all the drugs and alcohol you consume, is tiring. you go through the motions and you nod to their questions and laugh at their jokes. but you know that this misery and that this young love is timeless. so you continue to go through the expected motions.

writer in the dark: that hollow ache in your chest when you realize that the break up is permanent, that this feeling of loss is forever. that nervous ache as you stalk their snapchat and Instagram and any other social media outlet, trying to see if they found someone else. that obsessive need to know if they still miss you, if they still love you and need you. that sickening feeling that makes you numb as you send them text after text but they never reply.

supercut: all the memories are blurry footage winding through your head. the time you ran down the hill, drunk. the time you said “I love you.” the time you looked at them on the roof of the car while you thought “I’m gonna be with you forever..” all the memories are fast forwarding and rewinding and pausing in your head and it is perfect and it is never going to happen again.

liability (reprise): you warned them from the very start. but did you ever listen when they warned you?

perfect places: everyone has a perfect place that is their getaway. but the reason for getting away isn’t perfect. it’s ugly and damaging and it’s cold nights like this that make you realize that nothing will ever be perfect. only for the moment will it seem like a person or a place can be your sanctuary. but the feeling never goes away. remember that.

SKAM S04E08 Clip 6 - Happy Birthday to you

ADAM: We’re fasting. We’re not having hotdogs.

ESKILD: Is that Fedon Lindberg, or who is it?

LINN: I’ve probably had chlamydia like thirteen times, it’s like.. Just take some antibiotics and it’s gone.

VILDE: Yeah.

LINN: But in the eye? I haven’t heard that one before.

EVEN: You can just do it from your side. Should I do it now? Bad hit!

ELIAS: Awesome! Look what he did now.

EVEN: Hey, guys!

MAGNUS: Hey! Hey. I’m Magnus.

ELIAS: I’m Elias.

MAGNUS: You know my girlfriend.

ELIAS: Oh.. The blonde one?

MAGNUS: Yeah.

ELIAS: Right! Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has talked lots about you.

MAGNUS: She did?

ELIAS: Yeah, she talked about you a lot.

MAGNUS: What does she say about me?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

In ur opinion what's the camren timeline look like ? Like when'd they date or take a break whoa date and break rhyme

I’m giving you the big lines… jk, it’s basically a whole fanfic 😂

2012 : Camila and Lauren meet on x-factor - instant attraction between them but neither of them wants to admit anything - it’s just a crush at this point - they become best friends through the course of the show - Lauren is also dating Keaton at the time 

2013 : Fifth Harmony is reunited and starts touring, the friendship is still there and strong. Camren is a playful ship, they interact on twitter and don’t hesitate to show affection. It’s Camren yo!  

Camila and Lauren spend more and more time together, feelings grow and it shows on camera - I believe Camila was more accepting of those feelings while Lauren had a little more trouble with them, probably already questioning her sexuality (at this point neither of them has admitted to anything)

While all of this is happening, the Camren ship as a romantic pairing takes off and as the fandom gets bigger so does the ship until it eventually reaches the girls. Lauren gets scared because she probably feels like her sexuality is written on her forehead and she’s not ready for that, plus she’s probably scared of losing Camila’s friendship and ruining their public image. That was the time when Lauren started lashing out at the fandom, calling us delusional and stating clearly that she was not bisexual. Camila, witnessing how hard Lauren is against any romantic association with her, is very hurt ( I think at this point she already had very strong feelings for Lauren) and starts distancing herself from her (that’s around June/July). Maybe Lauren thought Camila wanted to distance herself because it’s Camila who didn’t want to be associated romantically with her, which pissed Lauren off even more because she thought “Camren” was the reason she was losing her best friend. 

They stay distant until the end of the year - Lauren starts dating Luis, maybe a way to get Camila off her mind ( there are theories out there about Lauren and Luis’s relationship being p.r to shut down Camren, I guess it’s always a possibility). Anyhoo, during that time Camila’s feelings only grow stronger, probably pushed also by jealousy and I think eventually she confessed her feelings to Lauren, which Lauren couldn’t reciprocate since she was in a relationship.

2014 : little time has passed since Camila confessed her feelings and Lauren probably can’t get her out of her mind - I think that’s the reason why she eventually broke up with Luis. Once that was done, Lauren returned Camila’s feelings and there you have it : Camren finally together!

They probably shared their first kiss, which was also Camila’s first kiss, at that time - since Camila says her first kiss was at 16 (not sure since it changes every two interviews 😂) then the kiss must have happened either in January or February.

By March/April they’re full on together, they go on “dates” - the most famous one is the 1975 concert.

They both realize they’re very serious about this relationship and slowly tell their families about it (Sinu probably knew since day one 😂) - eventually the management finds out. Of course, tiny problemo, you can’t possibly have two members of a still very new girl group publicly in a lesbian relationship, no sir. To add to the situation, the Camren fandom is getting bigger, starts its own detective agency. 

I think the girls fought hard to be able to actually stay together, even if it had to be behind closed doors. They probably had to negotiate a lot, and part of that negotiation was for one of them to have a good p.r boyfriend, and unlucky us, they’re about to go on tour with Austin Mahone aka Dorito Boy.

The “relationship” between Dorito and Camila is sold to the medias - they’re just asked to appear together outside a few times, hold hands and that’s that - but it was probably already too much for jelly Lern who decided to shut this down real quick, which is why it only lasted like 3 weeks - the break up is staged and sold to the medias as well.

Since a p.r boyfriend for Camila is not an option anymore, maybe a p.r boyfriend for Lauren will work better - oh and look who’s coming with them on tour soon, the Vamps! The p.r relationship is put in place with asshole Brad - my own personal theory is that maybe he didn’t know exactly what the p.r was for and he started actually wanting to date Lauren for real but she shut him down, probably revealing her relationship with Camila, hence the song “I found a girl” - they had to stop the p.r there, and because asshole Brad got his little asshole pride hurt he then went on to basically say Lauren was a slut in an interview with his little dicks asshole bandmates. 

Anyway, moving on. While all of this p.r is happening, Camila and Lauren try to navigate their own relationship while having to stay hidden and pretending in front of the world. Not an easy thing to do while at the same time having to deal with the pressure of touring and the fandom who’s always watching. 

Eventually I think Camila wanted to end all of it and come out. Probably by letting themselves “caught” making out or something, since the label/management would never let them properly come out. Slight problem, Lauren doesn’t want to, she’s not ready and there’s too much at stakes. We all know Camila is a dreamer, an optimist, and she tries to convince her but nothing does it. 

2015 : They eventually break up over it beginning 2015, knowing it might be the only way to salvage their friendship, for the good of 5H. They were both probably incredibly hurt by that break up.

(We enter The Hurting 😉 )

Basically that whole year was about them trying to get over each other while remaining friends for the sake of the group. That’s why we still get lingering looks, smiles and hidden touches… because who on earth could get over someone they still love if they have to see them everyday? 

A whole lot of shit also happens when Camila does her first solo collab with Shawn - she receives hate from “fans” like she’s never received before. The girls aren’t allowed to support her publicly because the perspective of a feud is more appealing to the medias so management plays that card.

Basically a really dark time for Camila, where she ends up writing “I Have Questions” in an hotel bathroom before she stops writing altogether. I think it’s a period where Camila’s anxiety really shot up and became a real problem for her, which is also probably why she distanced herself from the girls, to not bother them with her problems, and also obviously to stay away from Lauren.

I think eventually the girls went through to Camila and did everything to support her.

(We enter The Healing)

Somehow Camren found a way to really rebuild their friendship, which was always laced with quite a bit of flirting.

2016 : Lauren tries to get her girl back. And it takes a while 😂. I think they started an on/off casual kinda thing because Camila wasn’t ready to go down that road again probably because she was scared of getting hurt and also because she knows they will be in the same situation they were before, having to hide. But what can you say? The heart wants what the heart wants, and I think eventually they did officially get back together somewhere in the middle of 2016. 

(We enter the Loving *behind closed doors*)

If now Lauren feels more comfortable with her sexuality and the prospect of coming out - the problem now resides in Camila’s upcoming solo career - they already know 7/27 will be Camila’s last album with 5H. Coming out at this point in the game would be a public suicide. There’s no way in hell it’s happening. 

So instead Camila makes the deal of playing the “straight” girl image as much as the label wants if it means her and Lauren can be together behind doors.

A few months roll out, Camila’s departure is coming soon and the label needs to get ready for the “after Camila” - and the person who comes after Camila is Lauren. Now, how to make Lauren become even more popular? What could make medias talk about her? A little weed in her bag? Yes, but it’s not enough, she needs to make an impact. What could be more impactful than a well prepared coming out? Oh I know! You pair it up with a letter against the biggest enemy of the country at the moment, Donald Trump. 

But you can’t just risk that out of nowhere, you need to test the waters first, see how the fandom would react to Lauren’s coming out  - enters Lucy.

Now, Lucy has been Lauren’s best friend for years, she obviously knows about Camren and I believe she was also friends with Camila. The fandom knows Lucy, we’ve seen her with Lauren on multiple pictures, Lauren calls her her “sister”. Choosing Lucy to be Lauren’s love interest is a very smart move because there’s tons of “proofs” to back it up and for the fans to create a timeline of. Obviously the Laucy timeline will also have the benefit of discrediting the Camren timeline since Lauren couldn’t have possibly been with both girls at the same time. 

So, to test the waters, a photo of Lauren and Lucy kissing at a party is purposely leaked - the fact that the picture was taken at party is important because if the fandom and the medias don’t react the way the management expects them to, you can always say the kiss was just a kiss between to best friends who had a bit too much to drink at a party. Turns out the fandom reacts exactly like predicted, they embrace Lauren for who she is, they defend her against the people who “outed” her, she’s the new hero. That’s why only a few weeks later they give the green light for her to fully come out through a politically incline letter.

You might be wondering why would Camila, Lauren and Lucy accept such a plan? Well in Camila’s case it shuts down the Camren rumors which helps her keep her straight image up, plus it gives the woman she loves the opportunity to finally be herself. Lauren gets to finally come out and be proud of herself while at the same time protecting her girlfriend’s upcoming solo career. And finally Lucy gets to be known by the fandom and the LGBT community, putting her name out there before she releases her first album. 

So here we are, end of 2016 - Lauren is out and in a supposed relationship with her best friend, Camila is still playing the straight girl wanting a spanish boyfriend, while Camren is still together and in love behind the scenes. 

And now, it’s time to say goodbye. It’s all planned out, a feud is going to happen, Camila’s exit will be a dramatic one. Dinah leaves us little hints a few days prior, Normani cries before their last performance as a five piece and then it starts. 4 statement letters is all that everybody needs to believe everything went wrong, 4 letters is all that everybody needs to believe that a 4 year friendship ended in a day. 

2017 : radio silence for a weeks - Camila gives an interview in which she says none of the girls are talking to her, they keep the feud game going. 

Now that Camila is gone, there’s no real use for Laucy anymore and even if Lauren is identifying as bisexual, the label would rather have her being in a p.r relationship with a man - they use a photoshoot and an interview to end it simply and boost Lauren’s image in the LGBT community - which they will also do by having Lauren collab with Halsey.

Her and Camila are still together, but obviously it’s getting even more complicated now that they can’t absolutely be seen together. 

The label wants a p.r boyfriend for Lauren and Ty Dolla Sign is in need of some headlines with his new album coming out this year. Her and Camila are already having a hard time maintaining their relationship because of how complicated things are with the “feud” and Camila having to stay in the closet, plus probably other unresolved issues between them - the new p.r plan is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back - they eventually mutually decide to break up and to try to figure themselves out without the other. Camila buries herself in work and Lauren parties away the pain. When Camren shippers keep coming at her from all sides she loses it and tweets that Camren “was never real, ever” to shut them down and probably to shut herself down too.

I still think they’re in touch, they keep each other updated on their lives, congratulate each other on the new projects.

I really do hope now that they both try to be with someone new, try to heal and figure out who they are without the other. I hope Camila gets to come out once her career is well established. I hope they can meet again in a little while and actually be together in open light and finally be able to be free to love each other.

The end, until the next chapter 😂

Again this is all theory, a big fanfic - saying this to all the haters out there, no need to bother sending me an ask, you’ll just be wasting your time ✌️

This morning I was thinking about the LGBT+ community I know vs the LGBT+ community now, and something dawned on me. The LGBT+ community doesn’t respect its predecessors. Gay culture has changed drastically over the last 10 years, and I’m okay with us moving forward naturally with what people within the community naturally want - I’m not okay with us shitting on the past, erasing the past, degrading the past, as we do so.

The LGBT+ flag is topical so I’m going to start there. During the aids crisis, we never gave up. People were faced with something that was killing them on a biological level, and they said “Fuck you”. People had “going away” parties after being diagnosed where they would go out and drink and drink and drink, not going home for days, they would kill themselves because they didn’t want to let aids have the last say - they said “Fuck you, I control my life, I control when I die”. Other people, even some of the first to be diagnosed while they were still giving out numbers with each new diagnosis, are still alive today - they said “Fuck you, I’m going to take everything I can and do everything I can, you are not taking me, bitch”. We added a black line for those people. And now people think that those struggles don’t deserve that colour any more, that instead of using the pride flags they already have for the intersection of race and LGBT+ issues, they can appropriate all of those deaths.

Punks and rockers in the 70s and 80s stood by gay people, we shared our fashion sense and our flare for the dramatic, bright hair colours and clothes that stood out. Punks and rockers got beaten up for being presumed gay. The leather and spikes in the metal community were popularized because gay artists in that community wore those things on stage - it came from gay culture. And now those very bands and communities have to constantly remind people that they’re left-leaning, that they’re for gay rights, that they’re against systems of power - because somewhere down the line someone decided that gay culture was now flower crowns and unicorns, and that the other subcultures have been against us all along.

Drag queens and leather and revealing clothes are constantly pictured online with captions saying that they’re inappropriate at Pride. Fucking Pride - a protest, a party, a celebration of all of the wild and wonderful aspects that we incorporated into our culture when we said “We’re outside of the norm and so are you, so lets rock it together”. They were our body guards, they took the brunt of the insults and violence while those who were afraid hung back and looked “normal”. They are our history. They are the communities we stood with because we all understood what it was like to be ostracized and judged, and we accepted each other, and we became stronger together. Pride is a protest and a party in one, it’s not a safe space, it was never supposed to be - and if you’re okay with a woman wearing nothing but a lacy thong and marching at a Free The Nipple protest with “Slut” on her chest in permanent marker, as I see so many of the people who decry Pride outfits celebrating, it’s a giant fucking double standard to not be okay with revealing outfits at Pride. If you’re okay with someone dressed as a slutty unicorn at a Slut Walk, then why aren’t you okay with leather short shorts and a leash at Pride?

And alcohol!? People complaining about the alcohol in the gay community are so utterly unaware of our history. Gay bars were our first real “Safe Spaces”, Harvey Milk and other incredible gay activists rose to popularity partially because of their incredible personalities, their parties, their fun and kind nature, how they welcomed people in and offered them drinks and fun and friendship with no question. Our history is full to the brim with proof that being fun and exciting and rebellious was what drew people to us.

And the one that grinds my gears the most is slurs - is how everyone is so quick to be offended by words. That’s not what the gay community has ever stood for. The film “Pride” said it best when it said that when we’re called a name, we take it and we run with it. The “Pits and Perverts” concert happened because the newspapers called us perverts and we said “That’s catchy”. You can’t take away people’s power by giving that word all of the power and then saying that only bad people can use it, only people that hate you can use it - because now the word means “I hate you, I have power over you, you disgust me” - you take their power by making the word meaningless, by taking the word and going “ours now”. That was one of the staples of the LGBT+ community, a motto that we all lived by. But now people talk about how those words have “always been used to oppress us”, as if that never happened.

Y'all act like you want the world to think that LGBT+ people are pastel coloured, young, innocent, harmless angels - we’re rebels, we bring the fun, we bring the energy, we fight to the death and we’ve won over and over and over again; we wear our hair big and bright, we wear our labels on our chest, not because we want to ~normalize~ and ~raise awareness~ but because we’re daring the world to fucking try it, because we’re saying to the homophobes “I’m not scared of you” and we’re taking their power and their words. This modern LGBT+ community isn’t doing that, it’s screaming “Think of the children!” like the conservatives of old, it’s insisting that we’re quaint, middle class, and “just like you”, instead of “Fuck you we don’t have to conform”. It’s becoming what we fought, it’s turning on its own members, past and present, for engaging in parts of our culture and our history.

~ Vape

anonymous asked:

What do you think about an “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au with charmer or nurseydex or zimbits or something??

Well, I don’t know if you expected three mini fics, and I didn’t fully follow the prompt, but here we are.

1. Charmer

Look, Chris knew it was dumb. He knew that everyone on earth had a plain black suitcase, he knew he should have double-checked the luggage tag, he knew it was important to be sure abut these things. But knowing what he should have done couldn’t help him when he finally got his suitcase home and opened it up to find mostly yoga pants and sundresses. 

Fuck.

He zipped the bag back up and flipped open the luggage tag. It was cute, pink with some metallic lettering saying “I’m outta here!” in a handwritten font. Chris blamed jetlag and the redeye flight for making him miss the fact that it wasn’t his Sharks tag. He blamed the bag’s owner for not filling out any of the information on the tag.

Dammit.

Well, sorry random girl, he thought. He opened the suitcase up again to try to see if he could find anything that would give him a clue as to who the suitcase owner was. He moved a makeup bag aside, and hit gold immediately. Well, Samwell red. A Women’s Volleyball tshirt– mystery suitcase girl had to be on the volleyball team.

“Hey Ransom!” he yelled. “You’re facebook friends with all the volleyball team right?”

“He’s friends with everyone on campus!” Holster yelled back.

“Ask their captain if anyone flew in from the Bay Area and lost their luggage!”

_X_

“Is Justin here? My captain said he’s got my suitcase.” Chris overheard her at the door. He grabbed the bag and started hauling it downstairs. As he set it down at the bottom and caught sight of the girl in the doorway, he froze. She was pretty. Like, really pretty. 

“Um, hi,” he said.

“So you’re Justin? Oh my god, I’m so glad it wasn’t some total rando who got my bag.” 

“I’m actually Chris, Justin was just the one who was friends with your captain. Um, I’m sorry, but I kind of had to look through your stuff? Your luggage tag wasn’t filled out.” The girl laughed.

“Yours wasn’t either! Me and my teammates were like one minute away from googling the record holder for most San Jose Sharks merch, but it totally makes sense that you’re on the hockey team.” 

“Since we both forgot to write our numbers down, maybe we should do that now?” Chris suggested. The girl grinned, grabbed his phone out of his hand, and opened up a new contact. She punched in a number, and when she handed it back he saw a text of several random emojis addressed to the new contact of “Caitlin Farmer” with a girl farmer emoji and a volleyball emoji.

“Text me sometime, and maybe we can get dinner?” she said, and she was gone with her suitcase. 

Chris collapsed on the couch, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Chowder? You get your suitcase back?” Bitty called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah! and I think I’m in love now!”

2. Nurseydex

“Cheryl, I’m telling you, I had a ton of inspiration on the plane and I wrote some great stuff for act three. No. No, it wasn’t just me thinking it’s great because I popped some melatonin and got really sleepy. It’s like, legit. Yeah, I’ll send it over as soon as I get home and–”

Derek slammed into something. If he’d been holding his phone in his hand (bluetooth is a blessing when you drop stuff easily) it would have launched across the airport. As it was, his post-flight latte was soaking through the nice white shirt of the handsome stranger in front of him.

“Shit,” the stranger said, looking down to survey the damage.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have trusted myself to make a phone call and not be clumsy after such a long flight,” Derek said. He set his briefcase down and pulled a wad of napkins out of the outside pocket. The guy took a deep breath, going from murderous to calm in a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, it’s not your fault,” the guy said, setting down his own briefcase and accepting the napkins. He blotted at his shirt.

“Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Or a replacement,” Derek offered. The man shook his head.

“It’s fine, it probably needed to go to the cleaners anyways.” He checked his watch. “If I run, I can probably get a new one before my meeting.” He wadded the napkins into one big ball, picked up his briefcase, and walked towards the exit with a terse nod. Derek, feeling terrible about the whole thing, picked up his own briefcase and walked to baggage claim.

By the time he was reunited with his home office, a cozy bookshelf-lined room in his brownstone, he had almost forgotten about the coffee incident. He was focused on sending the manuscript to Cheryl. Unfortunately, that was going to be difficult, considering he pulled a PC laptop out of the bag instead of his Mac.

Derek stared at the computer for a full minute. He almost couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Hesitantly, he opened the laptop. On one side of the keyboard there was a weird thing that a few seconds of phone googling told him was a fingerprint scanner. Shit. He hit the space bar experimentally. Something flashed on the screen, and then was replaced with just a plain black screen with red text: ACCESS DENIED

Derek swore. He started to look through the rest of what was in the briefcase, but was disappointed to find it empty except for the laptop’s charger, three packs of gum, and receipts from a lobster shack in Maine. Shit. Nothing in here would tell him anything about the redhead he’d launched a latte at. 

He closed the laptop dejectedly, ignored his editor’s text messages, and went into the kitchen to make himself lunch and feel sorry for himself. This was the universe punishing him for covering a cute guy with coffee. If he had just kept his focus and waited to call his editor later, he could have sent the draft along and saved it and not be desperately trying to remember his inspiration.

Just as the self-pity spiral was really taking off, the doorbell rang. Derek sighed, put down his tea, and walked to the door. When he opened it, it wasn’t Girl Scouts or Jehovah’s Witnesses, but the guy from the airport.

“Cancel whatever you’re doing today, I need to teach you the most basic principles of digital security,” the guy said, pushing past Derek into the dining room. He shoved a stack of papers onto a chair and pulled Derek’s laptop out.

“I’m Will, by the way, I make software that’s hopefully a step ahead of viruses.”

“Is the draft still there?”

“The draft of what?” The guy looked confused.

“My third act breakthrough. I’m a novelist, I need to get it to my editor and I couldn’t remember if I saved it,” Derek explained.

“You know you can set up an auto-save every five minutes or so, right?” Will asked.

“This might be surprising to you, but I’ve never had a cute guy storm into my house and yell at me about computers before.” Will looked up from Derek’s computer, blushing.

“I haven’t had a cute guy dump a gallon of coffee all over me and steal my laptop before, either, but here we are.”

“Maybe you can yell about computers over lunch with me?”

3. Zimbits

Button downs. Tank tops. Slacks. Shorts. Three rolling pins. A pie tin. A half-emptied multipack of sharpies.

No lucky puck. No clothes in his size. No jerseys.

Jack sighed. It would just be too much to ask for anything to go well today. He picked up his phone to call someone with the Falconers, in the hope that they could talk to the airline and sort all this out. At the same time, his phone lit up with Tater’s face.

“Zimmboni! Look on twitter. Small internet baker has your suitcase!” Tater hung up before he could reply, so Jack just opened twitter instead. 

omgcheckplease: A bunch of pucks, some dirty jerseys, and a history textbook. Either I’m back in college or this isn’t my suitcase.

omgcheckplease: .@falcsofficial please tell your #1 player to DM me and come get his shit

omgcheckplease: and @falcsofficial tell him to give me my shit back. my hockey days are in the past, I need rolling pins, not a mouthguard

Jack smiled and laughed in the way a person laughs when they’re alone, just blowing more air than normal out of his nose. He looked through the twitter for a minute– the guy, Eric Bittle, was a Providence-based chef, whose latest tweets were mostly greetings to the various cities he’d been visiting on tour. Jack clicked the media tab on the account, and looked through the pictures. Bittle was cute. He wrote a reply.

zimmboni: .@omgcheckplease how do I send u a DM

omgcheckplease: .@zimmboni you don’t deserve to be verified, oh my god #verifybittle2k17

A few seconds later another notification popped up, and he tapped it to be brought to a DM window.

omgcheckplease: hey! sorry about the mixup. I can only imagine how confused you were to find all my book tour stuff.

zimmboni: Probably as confused as you were finding hockey stuff?

omgcheckplease: I wasn’t joking in my tweets, I did play hockey before I got into the whole cookbook/food show thing

zimmboni: Exactly, I did a book tour last year in the off-season :-)

omgcheckplease: oh my gosh, isn’t it the best and the worst?

zimmboni: I know. It’s great to meet people and talk about your work, but it’s exhausting.

omgcheckplease: that’s why I’m so excited to be back in Providence! at least until the next cookbook.

zimmboni: Well we should probably meet up to trade suitcases. Want to meet somewhere for dinner?

omgcheckplease: don’t trust me to learn where your house is?

zimmboni: I mean, if dinner goes well enough…

omgcheckplease: OH. okay, then, Mr. Zimmermann, it’s a date.

Jack smiled to himself, and got ready for his date.

I Miss You (One Shot)

I Miss You: After weeks of being apart from your boyfriend, Bucky, the distance become a bit too much for you to handle.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Phone sex. Dirty talk. Mentions of past injuries. Graphic details of sex. Porn gifs are used. Super NSFW. (If you’re not comfy with phone sex or anything else listed, keep scrolling.)

A/N: I have no idea where this idea came from, but just know that it’s for a good cause! ;)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.


IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

Every Possible Past

Lars sat with his knees pulled close to his body, leaning against the rough-hewn surface of the kindergarten wall. He trailed his finger through the thin coating of dirt on the rockbed floor. He drew distracted shapes and wrote out words and names in the dirt, all of which he wiped clean and started anew, his brow furrowed.

Pad watched from behind. Unseeable, her eye flickered between Lars and the drawings in the dirt. She picked up the hem of her dress and moved to his side, sitting down with only a few inches of space between them. Lars said nothing. Pad didn’t either, for a while.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Me? Nothing,” Lars muttered. He erased a smiling sun and started anew. “Thinking.”

“…About?” Pad asked after a moment of hesitation.

“Stuff,” he answered. He picked his hand up from the dirt, seemingly lost for what to do. “Like, about this. Here.” Lars motioned to the rock walls stretching too high to measure, filtering through just enough light to see the rock dust trailing through the air, large and enveloping. “Where I’m stuck. Forever, maybe. And I’m thinking about if just…if I coulda avoided any of this if I’d just stopped being a coward sooner. That ‘stuff’.”

“Oh,” Pad answered. She stuck her own finger in the dirt, tracing squiggles. “No, you couldn’t have. You don’t have to worry about that.”

Lars blinked. “I didn’t even explain.”

“You’re concerned that your fate may have been avoided if you had helped Steven escape from Topaz sooner.” Pad added her own smiley face among the squiggles in the dirt. “Or perhaps if you had saved your blond friend on the ship when Aquamarine and Topaz descended upon you.”

Lars straightened, back against the stone wall. Then he pushed himself standing. “How do you know this stuff?”

Pad paused, her finger trailing midway through the dust. “Oh. Oh of course. My future vision is broken. It can only see the past.”

“So you can see…what, everything that happened?”

“And everything that might have happened. Like an endless tree.” She stood, and dusted herself off. “Most Sapphires can see all the possible things that might happen. I can only see the things that might have happened.”

Lars swallowed, and he stammered, and slowly he found the words. “The things that might have happened.”

“Yes.”

“So you can tell me what would have happened to me if I’d done this differently.”

“Oh, yes!”

“What would have happened if uh…what if I had helped Sadie when she needed help on the ship?”

Pad remained silent for a few seconds. A hollow wind blew through the caverns. “Ah yes, I see that vision now. You would have plummeted into the water with all the human others. And Steven would have vanished on the ship. You would have returned solemnly to your home. The next morning, you would have entered into a building with a large ring on the top.”

“The Big Donut.”

“Yes. That’s what the sign would have said.”

“What about Sadie?”

Another few seconds of silence. Pad clasped her hands together. “She would be there too. But you would not speak much with her. The disappearance of Steven would have left you both in turmoil.”

Lars wrung his hands together. “Okay… okay okay. That would have happened a couple days ago, yeah? What would be happening right now? If I was home? Where would I be?”

Pad shook her head. “Oh. I can’t see the possible presents.”

Lars licked his lips. Then he nodded. “Okay so…if I asked you tomorrow, would you be able to tell me what would have happened today? If I never left home?”

“Oh, yes. Yes, I would be able to tell you that.”

“Okay. Okay then.” Lars leaned against the wall, sinking slowly down it. He patted the dusty ground beside him. “If you’ve got some time now. Then could you tell me what um—if I had gotten off that ship, and stayed home—what would I have done yesterday?”

Pad picked up the hem of her dress and dropped into the offered spot. She fell silent a few moments before her mouth opened. “You would have returned to your place of work once more—the Big Donut. And you would have spoken to Sadie. She would have been difficult to console, as would you, but you would have triumphed eventually. She would have laughed at a humorous remark you found from the internet. This would have made you proud.”

Ten years pass quickly for Gems, not so much for humans. Lars wasn’t sure how these last ten years had passed for him, slow and fast at the same time. His physical body has not changed much, though his hair has grown much longer.

Lars leaned his back against the rough stone wall, free of dust now, and he waited for Pad to appear by his side.

When she did, Lars sunk to the ground, knees against his chest, and patted the same spot as always—as he did every day—for Pad to sit.

“So…tell me about yesterday. If I had stayed home, what would have happened yesterday?” Lars asked with urgency. It was the same question he had asked every day of the last ten years, but he was anxious now. He knew what might occur.

Pad smiled. She clasped her hands together. “You would have taken Sadie out to a food place along the beach. It would have been the one she told you she loved as a small human. And you would have taken that polished and cut stone out of your pocket, in the soft black box, and you would have presented it to her. You would have lowered yourself onto one knee first, and unfurled the box, and said, ‘Sadie, would you marry me?’”

Lars’s heart pounded in his ears. He swallowed dryly, leaning in. “What would she have said?”

“She would have said ‘Of course Lars. Of course.’”

Lars let out a strained breath, a noise of relief, or perhaps disbelief. He blinked harder, and leaned back against the wall, and traced his hand through the dirt. “Oh my god… Oh my god she would have said yes. She would have said yes.”

“Yes, she would have,” Pad answered.

The noise Lars made was soft, and wet, and it echoed out. Bouncing against the vast and dark heights of the kindergarten walls, absorbed and deflected in the cold hollow shells of Gems long extracted. And then it was lost to the cavern, that isolated and dark sealed off place. Inescapable.

A hollow wind replaced it.

Lars’s hand traced the shape of a heart in the dust, and the small strained noises from his throat dried up until only tears leaked down his cheeks. His hand stopped once it trembled too hard to trace anything more.

Bygones of the Sun | 03 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 7.8k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04

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Inexorable (1)

So I thought, why not combine that shit and make it a mini-series or something? I really hope you two anons enjoy it! No idea how many parts there will be. We shall see. Gif isn’t mine, cred goes to the owners! 1,560 Words

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader 

Genre: Fluff, a little crack, (Eventual) Smut, Mafia au!

Part 1 | Part 2

Everyone’s heard of blind dates – never of blind marriages, not even in the mafia world. Yet, here you were, walking down the aisle, your hand latched onto your father’s arm, towards a young man you had never seen before. 

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to speak to him, let alone this being the first time you actually got to see his face. There was so much rage bubbling inside you at the moment, but it was all hidden behind a small smile.

Combining two mafia organizations together was a huge deal; something bosses usually agreed on with the exchange of girls, but considering Red Python was one of the most powerful organizations in the country, they wouldn’t want just any girl. They wanted a suitable bride for the heir of said organization.

And your father, being the great, generous man he was, suggested you.

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the millionaire and his lover

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

summary: over the course of your lifelong friendship with jungkook, you can’t say that you’ve ever had the greatest ideas, and a fake relationship with the boy you’ve been in love with for years is no exception. 

{self-gratuitous ceo au, friends-to-lovers, and fake relationship trope rolled into one big shitstorm of a jungkook fic}

word count: 18k

warnings: very light smut, shitty angst

a/n: hello all! i wanted to kickoff my writing on this blog with a bang, so here’s a longish fic on my wildest dreams. feel free to request things in my inbox here!

When you first tell people that you happen to know CEO and multimillionaire Jeon Jungkook, they tell you one of three things:

1: You’re so lucky! Could you introduce me?

2: You must have saved an entire country in your past life.

3: Is he as much of an asshole as the news outlets make him out to be?

What you don’t say, though, is this: You and Jungkook have had history for as long as you could remember. As not only neighbors, but also childhood friends, you happen to know quite a lot about the man who made a name of himself before he even graduated from university. You would also very much like to keep quiet the fact that you’ve harbored a crush on the boy for quite some time now, obvious to everyone whose name isn’t Jeon Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook is, in one word, brilliant. He is brilliantly intelligent, brilliantly talented, brilliantly beautiful. He is suave and smooth and gets what he wants and if he didn’t possess such a disdain for the tabloids that do nothing but stretch the truth, he would have them wrapped around his finger. Sure, he’s no actor or singer, but he is a celebrity, and a skilled one at that. The media know no boundaries when it comes to a man like Jungkook, painting him as stunning yet rude, rich yet selfish, smart but cold. You know they blow his brief affairs out of proportion, and you know they will never know the boy who fell off of his bicycle in the second grade.

Jungkook is not powerful enough to replace the stars in your sky, but he is powerful enough to rearrange them right in front of your eyes, creating endless constellations that all remind you of him. He is the boy you have cherished since your elementary school days, when he would accidentally drool on your shoulder and throw sand into your mouth, and you are the girl who, despite all class differences, has stuck by him through thick and thin. It is not enough, but perhaps to him, it is.

“Do you ever try to mooch off of his wealth?” People ask you. “I would.”

And sure, every now and then you will ask him for money and he will give it to you, but your intentions are pure and you do not, will not, ever take his generosity for granted. Not when he has so much and you so little. You know what life is like when the world keeps trying to trip you, and a bit of smooth ground is not enough to keep you from forgetting the struggle.

That is, until you get laid off your job due to an influx of new workers, and your next student debt payment is due in roughly, a week.

What?”

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Batfamily NSFW headcanons

Well, here it is. Because of the nature of the questions, IT IS NSFW, so if you’re uncomfortable with that, do not read, I have PLENTY of other work that aren’t NSFW at all that you can check ;-) (right here, my masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com). Anyway, I’m not great at writing headcanons so thought I practice a bit…hope you’ll still like it :

_________________________________________________

The Goodies-

Bruce Wayne

  • What turns them on?

✶When you touch him inappropriately in public. Especially at charities, galas and other balls. It drives him crazy the way you do it so sneakily so that no one but him notice. It’s a sure way to convince him to go home earlier. 
✶Seeing you putting someone in their place with your wits and sarcasms after they’ve been rude to you…Oh he lives for this, and will have trouble to concentrate on anything else but wanting you. 
✶Your smile. Your laugh. The way you light up his dark World.
✶That man has a thing with lifting your skirt slowly, and putting your panties aside. He couldn’t even tell you why, he just loves it. And obviously, it instantly turns him on when you let him.
✶Knowing that the emotions he feels for you can outlast the orgasm you both had. Oh yes. Knowing he’s loved, and can let go with you. 

  • What turns them off?

There is very few things that turns him off when he’s with you, if not nothing (like literally, even when you’re being annoying, or when he’s being an ass, or if you just woke up and are disheveled and not really attractive…he’d still want you), as everything you do is just…Wow. He can’t get enough of you. Everything you do turns him on really. But He had experiences with other women before… :
✶Women who couldn’t handle a simple conversation. No connection at all with them, just sex. In and out, and then they’d be gone. He hated that. Which makes him love you more when you just spent time in each others arms talking about anything and everything. You’re the only one that makes him want to talk about what he feels and such…It’s a big relief. You’re his big relief. 
✶He use to hate SO MUCH when he took a woman out that had a “fake hollywood accent”, or any fake accent. A lot of fake French one. They thought it made them more interesting, but the only thing it did, was making them super annoying to hear so…Yeah, massive turn off. He cringed more than once because of a high pitched voice, or an annoying one with a stupid fake accent.
✶Narcissism turned him off instantly. Oh the many women Alfred had to escort out because Bruce misjudge them…It happened to him a lot when he was younger, long before meeting you. He thought he’d find a kindred spirit, but turned out, it would just be a woman who wanted him for his money and fame, and who thought she was irresistible. Spoiler : those kind of women were rarely irresistible, to him at least. He could resist them very well. He could resist most women very well…But you. Oh you, it’s impossible. 
✶Lack of passion. He just cannot even think about dating someone who isn’t passionate about anything. 
✶Fake tits. That doesn’t even remotely look (or feel) natural. Fuck them. And oh the women he went out as a younger man had a lot of fake things physically (fake ass, tits, teeth, nose…), every thing was fake in them really, to their personality and smiles. He hated that with a passion, and often wished he could drop the “womanizer” and “playboy” persona, that wasn’t like his real him at all…Everything changed when you came in. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, nothing fake about you (for real though, if you wanna tell him to fuck off because he’s being an asshole, they you’ll do so, and he loves that!). 

  • Kinks?

Nearly violent sex. Bitey, grabby, pinny, not-holding-back sex. Paired with sweet words of encouragement and gentle forehead/Cheek kisses.
✶Surprise sex. You waking him up because his cock is in your mouth. Him whipping you around while you walk around the Manor, and boom.
✶Sex after an injury. He loves the way you’re careful with him, or how he needs to take care of you because you’re hurt. 
✶He likes giving more than receiving. WITH YOU. Because he feels like he has to thank you to put up with his shit and antics…And you do it so well, oh he just has to please you. Doesn’t mean he’s against a good old blowjob though. Oh, and damn, the good old 69 am I right ? 
✶He can be vanilla and/or rough, and you love it. He would never really hurt you (even if you ask him too, just light biting really), and most of the time you make love, rarely just fucking (unless you haven’t seen each other for a long time and you just need it)…He’s all for the sweet and cuddly aftercare. Cheesy man. 

Richard Grayson

  • What turns them on?

✶You. Your mere presence. A slight touch of your fingers on his arms. And he’s gone. It’s not always great, like, you’d be in public and you’d just touch his thigh softly, as you do, and he’d give you “that look”…
✶Snuggles. Cuddles. Oh yes. 
✶Neck kisses. It drives him beyond wild. 
✶He will get harder inside you by the mere sound of your moans…And hearing you orgasm, clenching around him, is a sure way to send him over the edge too. 

  • What turns them off?

✶Being with someone boring. Glad he found you. 
✶If he’s with a “selfish lover”. He doesn’t mind giving at all, but for him, making love is a way to show mutual respect, to show how much you mean for each other…so if he’s with someone who only think about themselves ? No.
✶When his partner is too forward about wanting sex. “Want to fuck ?” Oh. Nope, he likes when it’s subtle. When you give him sultry looks and such. He likes the building up. 
✶Bad breath. As simple as that. 

  • Kinks?

✶Once, he was arguing with you and in the heat of the moment, you slapped his face. Of course you excused yourself profusely, until you realized he went from being annoyed to argue to being very aroused…You both learned something about him that day. So, light BDSM. Who would’ve thought ?
✶He lives for silly giggly sex. Pleasure, your moans and bad puns, how could it get better than this ? 
✶Women’s mid sections. He loves slight belly and curvy hips. As simple as that.
✶He’s a sucker for romantic evening, that turns hot and steamy. 
✶Rubbing your legs, ass and back during the act. Oh yeah. 

Jason Todd

  • What turns them on?

✶Seeing you punching people. It sounds awful, but the way you don’t let anyone walk on your feet and don’t hesitate to punch people even twice your size…He loves it. 
✶If you wear a dress, your legs will instantly turn him on. He loves your legs. Especially when wrapped around his waist. 
✶You love to dance, and hum songs you like…Big turn on every time, as he can’t get enough of your voice, and you’re damn sexy when you dance. 
✶When you’re trying to contain yourself, but simply cannot. Muscles spasm and contort as you climax.

  • What turns them off?

✶Judgmental people. The kind who decides what you are before knowing you.
✶The daddy kink. Oh God, NO. 
✶It’s something kinda silly, he knows, but he hates long unclipped toe nails. Ew. You laughed the first time he told you. Well, yeah, it’s super gross. 
✶Lacks of enthusiasm and initiative. He can’t be with a woman who lets him do everything, chose everything for her. And who never initiates anything. Basically, the opposite of you. 

  • Kinks?

✶Clothed sex, because it feels like you two are so hungry for each other, that you just can’t bother getting all the clothes off. 
✶Sex games. First one to come loses. 
✶Public and semi-public sex. Hey, he likes danger. When you two are almost caught…Oh the thrill.
✶He’s very creative when it comes to sexual position. As long as your comfortable of course…He’s sure glad you’re flexible by the way.

Timothy Drake

  • What turns them on?

✶Intelligent woman. Intelligence in general. 
✶The way you look at him, with so much love, that makes him feel like he’s really wanted and needed…Sometimes, he just needs validation, as he doesn’t always gets it with his family. Fortunately, you’re here for that. 
✶Nibbling on his ears and neck, while whispering sweet nothing.
✶Eye contact. He just loves it. 

  • What turns them off?

✶Loud people. Oh God can’t they shut up ? He hasn’t slept for the past 36 hours and they’re making his head explode. Instant turn off if there’s too many noises. Though he loves your screams…It’s different ok ? 
✶If you starfish. Making love is a thing he wants to do with you, not to a very passive you. Fortunately, you’re never able to “starfish”…you’d do it as a joke sometimes, because you know he doesn’t like it, and then you wouldn’t be able to resist moving in sync with him.
✶Nothing to talk about but yourself. Someone obsessed with themselves. Oh he hates it. He’s so glad he didn’t find someone who didn’t had any subject else than themselves. He’s so glad he found you. Because with the name “Wayne” comes a plethora of women only interested in money and fame, who loves no one else but themselves. 
✶He hates feigned incompetence. Like a girl who acts like she doesn’t know anything about sex, while she’s clearly experienced. He always feels manipulated when this happens…

  • Kinks?

✶He loves to “discover boundaries”. Like what you like, dislike, what you two are willing to do, the extent you can go etc etc..Knowing just until where both of your boundaries go. 
✶You two nerds invented a secret “sex langage” to be able to talk about it in public. Of course you would.  
✶Nerdy dirty talk. Oh the puns about technologies, and pop culture you two are able to get out while making love : it’s endless. And he loves it. It makes him feel like he found just the perfect person for him. And you really are. 
✶Lazy morning sex. Bath sex. Those private moment with you, where you can just both enjoy each other. Domestic moment sex if that makes sense. 

Damian Wayne (older than his current age of course)

  • What turns them on?

✶Training together, seeing you fight and such. The way your body moves…Gets him every time. 
✶The way you look at him and tell him “I love you”. He’ll never get tired of it. Seeing the love in your eyes for him, knowing you mean it, that there’s at least one person in the world that really love and appreciate his bratty ass. 
✶When you caress his hair, fingers massaging his scalp. Soothing and arousing at the same time. 
✶The way you bite your lips or stick out your tongue when you’re focused. 

  • What turns them off?

✶He tries to be nice about it but…Body odors. If you smell because you two jumped on each other before you could take a shower…Instant turn off. Even his own smell could turn him off. Basically, if it smells bad, he won’t be able to concentrate on sex at all. He’s a living paradox however as he loves the smell of your sweat.
✶Hurting you. 
✶Rude and vulgar people. 
✶Lack of empathy.

  • Kinks?

✶Sensory deprivation. Like blindfolded, so you have to rely on trust and such. Or handcuffed, so you can’t touch and…again trust comes in. Sometimes, he would put headphones on your ears, so you wouldn’t know what his next move is by the sound…Basically, knowing you trust him and letting him do all that. 
✶He likes trying new things.But will never do anything you’re uncomfortable doing of course. Consent is key.  
✶Always the tease though. 
✶Sometimes, he’ll argue with you ON PURPOSE just for the amazing make-up sex afterward…Each time you’ll give him a look meaning : “really Damian ?”, and he’ll just smirk back at you. He knows how to push all your buttons, and oh, he just really like the way you are during make-up sex. 
✶You come first. He loves you, he wants you to be comfortable, but he also like trying new things and he’s so damn glad he found someones like you who’s willing to be adventurous. 

12 | You’ll Never Walk Alone

BTS + GOT7 X READER [GANG!AU]

WORD COUNT: 5,987

series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut. this chapter contains graphic content such as violence, torture, death, light smut

Originally posted by younas

masterlist | ask | prev | next


The pounding in your head was unbearable, but it was nothing in comparison to the burning sensation embedded deep inside your nostrils. Your aching body was heavy, almost too heavy to move; it took all your strength to eventually sit up on the bed, your eyes immediately scanning your surroundings in confusion, what had happened? By the looks of things you were in a cheap motel, the garish yellow patterned walls adding more fuel to the fire beneath your temples.

Glancing down you recognised Taehyung’s still body, his face weighed down heavy with sleep as his light snores echoed throughout the sparsely furnished room. Everything was a blur, one moment you were talking to Taehyung in your bedroom and the next, everything was black. Rubbing your eyes to try and adapt to the sunshine beaming through the windows your gaze eventually settled upon a brown glass bottle next to a white rag on the bedside table. Chloroform. The smell became overpowering as memories of a large palm pressing a damp rag over your open mouth played in your mind, that bastard.

“Good morning sunshine.” Sung chuckled before tossing you a box of painkillers, her face emotionless and unreadable, “Sleep well?”

“What’s going on?” You croaked, too proud to swallow one of the painkillers she had offered, instead choosing to hurl them towards her physique with force, “Where’s Jimin?” You barked, just where had Taehyung taken you? However if Sung was around surely your brother would be close by.

At least you hoped.

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anonymous asked:

So it's obvious that trying to knock people out is mostly unrealistic and often times lethal. But what about when someone is tired from their injuries? Is there a difference between passing out and being knocked out? Where's the line? Can trauma from head hits not knock someone out, but result in passing out? Can being knocked out for more than a few seconds be bad news, but passing out for hours just be regenerative, and if so what would cause that distinction to physically manifest?

The distinction between passing out and knocking out is very simple:

1) Passing Out: Your body is so tired that it can’t go on.

2) Knocking Out: Someone else is traumatically forcing your brain to rapidly shut itself off by convincing it that its dying.

When you’re talking about hitting someone in the head as opposed to strangulation, this generally means a concussion. They have hit your head so hard your brain has bruised itself against the inside of your skull and you have now gone unconscious. When you punch someone in the head, you have zero control over what actually happens to them. You can hope, but you can’t control it. In comparison to a choke hold, where you have almost total control over their body and can feel for the moment they go limp (and a mistake is still going to potentially end their life), it isn’t worth it as a tactical choice.

Humans are persistence predators, they can go and go and go for a very long time. You have to work pretty hard to physically exhaust them to the point where they’ll collapse on the battlefield. Their brain/body will usually stop them long before that point arrives. When you’re talking about combat, they’re far more likely to die before they ever reach a point of total exhaustion. We’re talking days without rest, the kind you’re only ever likely to encounter in mass battles or with a character who is being hunted.

The truth is that if you see a character who has been consistently knocked out multiple times on screen, they’d either be suffering from serious damage to their brains or dead. Most of them would be dead. If you ever feel like testing the theory out, go check out the late life prospects for boxers and football players who’ve sustained several concussions over the course of their careers.

The whole “knock someone out to get rid of them” is a Hollywood trope built for narrative convenience. The actual process of physically subduing someone is long, drawn out, and takes a great deal more energy and effort than a one, two punch or a knife to the gut.

The “Knocking Out” Contrivance in media acts like character death but without the audience having to evaluate the protagonist’s morals or the narrative’s values. They maintain their “good guy” street cred, and the audience doesn’t have to ask the questions. We switch easily from one scene to the next without any of the hoopla. The audience gets their action sequence and no one needs to feel bad. It’s a bloodless death. Or it’s a scene transition, or someone’s been taken prisoner without the author having to figure out how they move tie them up, move them, and get them from Point A to Point B. (Nevermind that it’s actually much harder to move dead weight than it is someone who is conscious.)

It’s lazy.

No, yeah, it is.

It’s there for shock value when the protagonist is taken prisoner.

Still, if you want to use this narrative contrivance in your story you can. No one will stop you. The vast majority of general audiences won’t question it. Judging by the number of questions we’ve received about this topic alone, people do commonly think the knockout genuinely works as a tactic for subduing the enemy. However…

The “Knockout” is prevalent in media because it is a convenient narrative tool.

If you’ve got a burning need to use it then use it, just don’t sit there and try to say it’s “realistic” or safe after the fact. It isn’t. Accept the narrative knockout for the bit of smoke and mirrors it is, and move forward.

It’s part of a collection of tropes that I like to call “Feel Good Violence”. They have no relationship to reality or responsibility, but they’ll make the audience feel good and the character seem powerful. It is “Feel Good”.

So, that’s it. I have nothing more to say that we haven’t covered in previous posts about head injuries. Unless @scriptmedic has anything they’d like to add, we’re done with the topic for now.

-Michi

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Why Do You Hate Me?

Bucky x Reader Smut Fic

Warnings: pure smutty teasing


“What’s up, Steve?” You glanced around the interrogation room in the Tower. “Why’d you want to meet up so early?”

“Just wanted to go over our tactic for this guy coming in.” Steve eyed you carefully. “Make sure we’re on the same page.”

“Punch him if he doesn’t talk.” You sat down in what was to be his chair. “Tighten the restraints if he refuses.” Steve nodded, hands behind his back. “Then do whatever we need to get the information out of him.”

“That’s correct.” Steve pulled a switch out of his pocket and flipped it on. “I’m sorry to have to do this.”

Metal restraints folded over your wrists and ankles and held you in place. Your eyes shifted to Steve as you squirmed in the uncomfortable chair. Steve sat the switch on the table and gave you his best apologetic smile. 

“You can’t keep running out of the room when Bucky enters, (Y/N).” Steve bit his lip and smiled wearily. “And when you two are in a room together, you turn your inner air conditioner down and become ice cold.”

“Steve…” You growled and yanked on the restraints. “Let me go.”

“Not until you two talk.” Steve turned on his heels and swung the door open.

Bucky walked, a smirk plastered on his face, and you froze. Your face went dark and your stare hardened; butterflies fluttered in your stomach. Steve left you alone with Bucky. You hated him.

He fiddled with the switch in silence while leaning up against the table. He eyed you carefully, taking in every inch of your body. His smirk grew as he noticed your hardened nipples through your tank top; you were braless. He kept his mouth shut.

“Let me go, Barnes.” You grumbled the words. “Now.”

“No.” He spoke calmly. “I want to know why you hate me.”

“There are a lot of reasons why I hate you.” Your stare didn’t waver. “We would be here all day if I listed them all.”

“Then just summarize.” He continued smiling. “The more we bicker, doll, the longer you’re stuck alone in a room with me.”

“You’re a womanizing, arrogant, old ass, murdering, son of a bitch who walks around like he owns the place.” You spat the words at him. “You get to do whatever the fuck you want because you’re Steve’s best friend and Steve’s word is the highest. You don’t have to fill out paperwork, go on missions you don’t want to, hell, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“So, what I’m hearing is…” Bucky sat the switch down and walked towards you. He rested his hands onto of the metal restraints and leaned down to eye level. “You’re jealous?”

“I’m not jealous.” Your heart rate increased at the close proximity. “I’m angry.”

“See…” His eyes searched yours tentatively. “I don’t think you’re angry, doll. I think you’re confused.”

“About what?” You cocked an eyebrow at him and pouted your lips. “What could I possibly be confused about?”

“I think…” He leaned forward and brought his lips to your ear, just close enough to feel the warmth of his breath and nothing else. “That you might just like me.”

“What the fuck would make you think that?” You squirmed in your seat instinctively. 

“Two nights ago…” He spoke slowly, drawing out each word with precision. “I took a nice midnight stroll around the halls…” You were sure he could hear the rapid pace of your heart in your chest. “And I came to your room.” You gulped, you knew damn well what he was leading up to. “Behind your door, I could hear the almost inaudible sounds of you moaning, whimpering, and begging, something I never thought I’d hear from you.” His lips brushed your ear. “At first, I thought you had a guy over and I started to walk away. I got about two steps passed your door when I heard my name sneak out of those beautiful lips of yours.” You bit your lip and closed your eyes. “You were moaning, whimpering, begging, and chanting my name while you were touching yourself.” He pulled away and stood up straight. “That’s why I think you might just like me.”

You were at a loss for words. Your eyes dropped to the ground and you remained silent. You thought over possible snarky responses, but your mind was blank. He was right, you liked him.

“And what if I did just happen to like you?” You refused to look up from the floor.

“I’d have to punish you for treating me so poorly because you couldn’t admit your feelings.” His words came out cold and you raised your eyes. The smirk was still there. “It’d only be fair, you know, given a number of times you brushed me off and treated me like shit.”

“And what kind of punishment would it be?” You couldn’t stop your words. “If I were to admit, you know, that I might just like you?”

Bucky watched you carefully, his blue eyes piercing your own. He stepped quietly behind you, hands resting in his pockets. He dropped his head and whispered in your ear, “May I touch you?” You nodded.

His hands rested firmly on your shoulders before he began massaging them. You sighed deeply at the contact and dropped your head back, hitting his stomach. Your eyes closed, not wanting to know if he could see the pleasure growing on your face just from a massage. A deep chuckle vibrated his body and his hands lowered to your clavicles. 

“Well, a naughty girl gets a naughty punishment.” His hands dipped lower, hovering over your breasts. “Maybe I’d trap you before a mission, when I know you’ll be stuck with the team.” His fingers brushed your hardened nipples through the fabric of your shirt. “Pin you up against the wall…” He lifted the front of your shirt behind your head, exposing your breasts. “Slip my hand down those tight pants of yours…” His thumbs circled your nipples. “Tease that needing cunt of yours with a few flicks and circles to your clit…”

“Bucky…” You bit your lip to silence yourself.

“What? You like it when I talk about punishing you?” He lowered himself down and buried his face in your neck, drawing hickeys to the surface of your skin. “When I talk about getting you all wet and needy with my fingers?” His hands slithered down to your shorts and unbuttoned them. “Would you like that? Not being able to touch yourself for weeks on end?” His flesh hand traced the waistband of your panties. “Or would you touch yourself? Sneak off and curl two of your delicate fingers inside of yourself? Would you do that with the team members there? Where you could easily get caught fucking yourself?” His hand slipped underneath your panties and grazed your clit. “Could you be quiet enough? Your moaning, the sounds of your fingers working your aching cunt, the scream you want to let loose when you cum…” 

“F-Fuck…” Your eyes opened and you saw Bucky looked at you; he was waiting. 

“Do you want me to touch you?” He spoke quietly. “To dip my fingers inside of you and abuse that throbbing g-spot of yours until you’re begging me to cum?”

“Yes.” You breathed out the word and licked your lips. “Please.” You sounded desperate and you hated it, but, fuck, you wanted him, you wanted him to touch you, to feel just how wet you were, to fuck you. You craved him.

“Then I guess you’re going to have to wait until after you get back from your next mission.” Bucky removed his hand and backed away, flipping the switch to your chair before leaving. 

You sat in a complete mess in the chair; your panties soaked, breasts exposed, hickey’s blatantly visible on your neck. You lowered your shirt and buttoned your shorts, disbelief taking over. No, that couldn’t have just happened. I just imagined the entire thing. I’m just laying in bed asleep right now and I’m going to wake up any second. Yeah, this is just a wet dream. I don’t even have any missions coming up, this has to be a dream. Come on, (Y/N), wake up. 

Sam popped his head in and eyed you carefully. “You ready?”

“For what?” You collected yourself and stood from your chair, praying he couldn’t see how much of a mess you were.

“Barnes cancelled and said you’d take his spot on today’s mission. We’ll only be gone for a few days, a week at the latest.” 

“What?” You furrowed your brows. 

“C’mon, we’re running late as it is.” Sam waved you on.

You stepped out of the room and followed Sam down the hallway. You passed Bucky and Steve standing together. Bucky pulled out his phone and caught your eye; he winked before turning his attention back to his friend. Your phone vibrated.

“I may not have pinned you up against the wall, but leaving you begging works just as well.”


A/N: Lots of people voted for Bucky in my most recent “Pick a Pairing” post and so here you guys go!

Keep reading

Sweet Creature

Words: 7,500

Warnings: Smut

Harry sighed as he peered into the kitchen from his spot by the staircase in the living room. He’d like to be next to Y/N and Gemma right now, but his neighbor had whisked him off into a conversation about gardening that he truly had no interest. Nevertheless, Harry was polite, so he stood patiently and nodded and “mhmm”ed at the appropriate moments. He couldn’t help but let out a wistful sigh as he saw his sister and best friend slip out into the backyard.

As much as he appreciated Anne throwing a party in celebration of his first solo concert, he silently wished he had just gotten a private day in his hometown. Harry knew his friends and family were proud of him. But he was nothing if not humble and a little bit selfish. He so rarely got time at home to see Y/N, and he wished he could actually spend a moment with her now instead of playing host to what felt like the whole village. He’d much rather have been relaxing on the couch watching a rom-com with the girl he could never get enough of.

Just then, his mother swooped in to rescue him with a bright smile and gentle hand on his arm. “Sweetie, would you mind bringing the rest of the chicken out to Robin to grill? And maybe bring him a beer?”

He nodded much too fast for someone being asked to do chores. “Sure, mum.” He kissed her cheek and smiled brightly at their slightly disgruntled neighbor. “Sorry, mate. Talk to you later, yeah?”  

Harry wove his way through the crowd in the house to get to the kitchen. After slamming the refrigerator door shut with his hip, two beers clutched in one hand, he snatched up the last tray of chicken from its spot on the stove. He thanked Barbara from the bakery for opening the door to the back garden for him and offered her a cheeky smile she saw more than nearly anyone else.

Robin stood at the grill next to the deck, laughing and listening to the conversation going on in the chairs nearby. He saw Harry exit the door from the house and quickly waved him over.

“Having fun?” he asked, taking the tray of chicken and leaving Harry’s other hand open to start popping caps on the beer bottles.

Harry shook his head a little and snorted.  “You know how it is. Lots of small talk and cheek squishing.”

“And not getting to see Y/N,” Robin replied knowingly. He chuckled as Harry rolled his eyes before taking a pull from his beer.

“How has she been? I haven’t really talked to her much yet.”

“She’s lovely as always. I think her dad is having a bit of a hard time. You know the 15th anniversary of her mum’s passing is next week. She’s stayed with us the last couple of nights.”

Harry couldn’t help but frown. Y/N’s mum had died of cancer when she was only seven. Her father had been a dear friend of his mother’s, so they’d taken Y/N in when it happened. Her father hadn’t wanted her to see her mother like that, nor did he think he could properly care for her. Harry and Y/N had always been friends, but those four months that she lived with them had given them a bond no one could ever replace. They’d been absolutely attached at the hip their whole lives. To this day, the guest room at the Styles/Twist household was mostly considered Y/N’s and held some of her pictures and personal belongings. She’d long been a member of their family.  “She’s coping okay, right?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself, nosy?”

One of his only regrets about participating in X Factor and leaving home so young was that he felt like he had abandoned Y/N. She had come to visit him in LA and London a few times and had even joined him on tour, but she always felt obligated to return to Holmes Chapel to make sure her father was cared for. Though they were best friends, they often went months without talking because Harry was just too busy. He hated himself for that.

“Harry! Come sit a mo’ and have a chat?”

He turned to see his cousin Charlotte gesturing to the chair next to her. Robin’s clap to his back was taken as a dismissal as he made his way over.

“Hey there, rockstar. How ya doing?”

Harry settled in the chair and grinned. “Good, good. ‘N you?”

“Wonderful! Kyle just started his new job, so we’ve got a good income now. Not that you’d know anything about that,” she joked and leaned over to playfully nudge his shoulder.

Harry was sure his smile looked more like a grimace. While he may not have been hurting for money, there had certainly been a time when he would skip dinner just to save his mum a little money. He knew as much as anyone how hard it could be.

“Robin! Anne wants to know what’s taking so long with those birds!” Harry perked up at the sound of Y/N’s sweet voice washing over him like a lullaby. He quickly turned to see her leaning out the back door with a bright grin.

“Can’t rush these things, Y/N. At least gotta buy ‘em a drink first, love,” Robin joked. The crowd around him laughed along with Y/N.

“Right, I’ll be sure to tell your wife that!” Her gaze shifted to Harry and she smiled softly at him. He tried to wave her over, but she held up a finger in a “hold on” motion and disappeared back into the house.

“So what is Kyle doing, then?” He continued to make small talk with his cousin Charlotte as Gemma reappeared and took up the last chair on the deck right next to him.

Y/N returned about five minutes later carrying a bowl that Harry quickly determined was filled with fruit.  She stood by him and held the bowl down to offer him a piece, but he shook his head. “Come sit,” he told her instead.

She rolled her eyes at him. “There aren’t anymore chairs, H.”

Just as her hand holding the bowl of fruit started to retreat from him, he quickly grasped around her wrist and tugged her forward. When she stumbled just as he knew she would, he took a firm but gentle grasp of her hips and settled them down on his legs.

“Harry!” she scolded, knowing he’d made a scene. While Harry tended to thrive under the public eye, Y/N often did her best to hide from it. That was the primary reason Harry loved to take the piss out of her. Nevertheless, she shifted back to a more comfortable position on his lap and sat a bit sideways so she could hear the conversations going on. Harry wrapped one arm around her, resting his hand on her opposite thigh to keep her securely in place while the hand nursing a beer rested itself against her knee. He couldn’t help but chuckle as she flinched at the cold bottle just barely touching her skin. She finally went back to eating her assortment of pineapples, strawberries, and grapes as she listened to Charlotte.

“He’s just started work at the pub down the road from our house. The pay isn’t that great, but he’s been making loads in tips,” she finished.

“Where is Kyle, anyway?  I haven’t seen him yet, I don’t think.” Y/N was considered a member of the extended family and had attended every family event for the last 15 years. Since she had stayed in Holmes Chapel, Harry figured she probably knew more about his family these days than he did.

“Oh he’s off on a lad’s weekend in Bristol. His mate is getting married next week.”

“Oh good, that means he’ll be all freed up for when Harry and Y/N over here get married soon,” Gemma teased.

“Gem!” Y/N exclaimed. Harry noticed that her cheeks flushed to a pink very similar to the bath water on his album cover.

He just chuckled and gave her a little squeeze.

“Just saying! You two have that whole agreement anyway where if you’re still single at 28 you’re gonna get married. I hate to say it, Y/N, but you two aren’t getting any younger.  Plus you’re like in love anyway. It’s inevitable,” Gemma defended. She seemed unfazed by Y/N’s embarrassment.  

“Ooh, that just reminded me! Harry, you just have to tell me about that girl you wrote ‘Carolina’ about! That’s far and away my favorite song on the album, and I need to hear more about my future cousin in law!”  Charlotte gushed, looking at Harry with excitement in her eyes.

Harry didn’t miss how Y/N tensed at the mention of the song that he knew she for some reason despised. He hated to admit that it hurt him a little bit. He was proud of “Carolina”, and though he knew his opinion of his artistry was the one that truly counted, he didn’t like the thought of Y/N not liking one of his songs.  His hand slipped from her thigh and rested on the arm of his chair. “Oh, I don’t think she’s your future cousin in law.  Just a girl I met in paradise.”

Y/N quickly scarfed down the few remaining pieces of fruit in her bowl. “Think I’m gonna bring this back inside.   I’ll catch up with you later,” she told him quietly. She didn’t bother to look at him as she stood from her seat on his lap and retreated back into the house.

Gemma couldn’t help but sigh as she watched the exchange unfold. The two of them were too oblivious of the others’ feelings for their own good and were absolutely horrid at communication.

Robin finally finished the last batch of chicken and called everyone inside to make plates of food. If Harry thought the inside of the house had been busy before, it was nothing compared to when all the people that had been outside also made their way in for food. There was hardly room in the house to walk, much less find anyone.  Luckily, Harry was tall enough to see over the majority of the crowd, and he found Y/N sitting next to his mum as they split a plate of food.  

After he’d had his fill, Harry stood off to the side and leaned against the wall as he observed everyone around him. He finally had a moment alone as it seemed that everyone was too busy chewing to make conversation.  

He wasn’t alone for long, however, and he stood up straighter as soon as he saw Y/N making her way over to him.  She didn’t look particularly happy, but he put that down to her current family affairs. Though she tried to not let it show, Harry knew how much the loss of her mother affected her.

When Y/N finally reached him, she wrapped her arms tightly around  his waist and rested her cheek upon his chest.  He was much taller and could tuck her head snugly under his chin as he returned her embrace. “Missed you,” he heard her mumble.

Pushing his upset feelings about her distaste for his song aside, he squeezed her tighter and pressed a kiss to her hair. “Missed yeh, too, love.” His hands took to rubbing her back comfortingly as they stood in their embrace. He knew how much Y/N having her back rubbed soothed her. “Yeh look pretty today.”

Her hair had been curled prettily, her lashes long and full with the help of the mascara she had applied to them. Her outfit had been kept simple with a pink sweater over her flowy white tank that she had paired with jeans and flats. She didn’t try as hard as most did to look pretty, but Harry always thought she was the most beautiful girl in the room.

A rosy blush painted her cheeks as she pulled a little to look at him. “Thank you, bubs. You’re looking mighty handsome today, as well.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the nickname. It was the one she had given him when she was six and he was seven, and to this day he’d never heard her use it on anyone else. “Thank ya, love.”

“Harry!” they heard Robin call, and Harry chuckled as Y/N whined quietly and squeezed a little tighter around his waist. “Can you come help me clean the grill real quick?”

Harry left one last parting peck to her forehead before releasing his grip on her and moving out of her arms.  He followed his step dad into the back garden to provide assistance.

“I think now that everyone has full stomachs, they might be heading out soon. Hopefully we won’t have all these stragglers on our hands late tonight,” Robin commented as they went to work scrubbing the burnt bits from the grate.

Harry huffed in response. “Better not. I’d quite like a relaxing night in to be honest.”

Robin nodded. “I know you would, kiddo. You’ll get it, I’m sure.”

All in all, cleaning the grill only took about ten minutes. While they were outside, the two men wandered the yard holding trash bags to pick up garbage that had been left around to minimize the cleaning later. Finally, Anne called Harry in to start saying goodbye to guests as they began to depart just like Robin suspected they would.

When Harry made his way into the house, he saw that Y/N and Gemma had started to pick up the kitchen much as he and Robin had been cleaning the back garden. He saw them occasionally reach for their respective glasses of wine as they put food in containers and cleaned dishes.

Harry continued to play host and made small talk with the guests as they all gave him their closing remarks and good luck wishes. He thanked each of them sincerely and made sure to give an anecdote about their lives as well. Finally, after what felt like hours of talking, hugs, and handshakes, he collapsed onto the couch with the opening titles of The Notebook playing on the telly.

One by one, the family settled in with him. Robin took his usual recliner spot, and Gemma curled up with Dotty and a blanket on the love seat. Harry could hear Y/N fussing with Anne over helping to clean the kitchen.

“Y/N, I will not take ‘no’ for an answer. You go relax a bit. You’ve been picking up after people all day,” he heard his mother scolding and Y/N’s response in the form of an exasperated huff.

“We’ll get it done faster if I help you, Anne. You deserve to relax, too.”

“And I will as soon as I finish this. Now, shoo. Go be lazy for a tick.”

Y/N was still grumbling quietly to herself as she reached the living room and collapsed in a heap next to Harry on the couch. She automatically leaned her head against his arm, wrapping her own around his waist and craning her neck to see the move on the screen.

Harry chuckled. “You’re a snuggly little thing today. Budge up for a sec, love.”

Y/N groaned but lifted back off of him. He didn’t say anything as he moved a throw pillow to rest against the arm of the couch before swinging his legs up to the side and sprawling out across the length of it. With Y/N trapped between him and the back of the couch, she had nowhere to go but to rest against him as he held his arms open for her. After her head was settled against his chest and her hand against his heart, he reached down to pull her knee up and tuck her top leg between his. Once their ankles were comfortably tangled together, he clasped his hands together on her upper arm. “Comfy?” he checked, though he knew she was. Y/N loved to be held almost as much as he did, and this was their favorite cuddling couch. They were practically pros at the movie session cuddling by now.

She nodded against his chest but didn’t verbally respond as she had already gotten herself engrossed in Noah and Allie’s summer romance.

When Anne returned from the kitchen, she settled down with Gemma and pulled her daughter’s feet into her lap.  She took to reading a book while the rest of the family watched the movie on screen. Just as Allie discovered Lon was in town looking for her, Anne felt Gemma’s foot gently nudging at her thigh. Anne looked up at her, and Gemma jabbed her finger in the direction of the couch.

The Notebook was Harry’s all time favorite movie, but he couldn’t seem to be bothered by what was happening on the screen. His hand was wrapped up in Y/N’s hair, softly pulling his fingers through the tresses as he seemed to be humming to her. Her eyes were shut as she rested against him, but Anne doubted she was totally asleep. Unlike Harry, Y/N found it hard to sleep in public settings. Even this house, one she’d practically grown up in, was usually too public for her to sleep aside from in her designated bedroom.  Occasionally she’d see Harry whisper something and Y/N’s lips move in return, but her eyes never once blinked back open.

Finally, when the movie credits started rolling, Robin was the one to shatter their bubble. “Y/N, I hope you were planning on staying here again tonight, because I’m not letting you drive home at this hour. You’re too knackered. Get upstairs, kiddo.”

Y/N yawned and leaned up, Harry’s hands falling from her body in response. She had a few lines on her cheek from the wrinkles in his Harley Davidson tee, and she rubbed gently at her face to relieve the soreness. “Y’ can’t get rid of me that easy, Robin,” she replied, her voice laced with drowsiness. “I see your plan. I’m staying in that guest room forever.”

Anne laughed at her. “That’s your room, anyway, sweetheart. It’s for you to sleep in as long as you want it.”

Harry sat up as well so that Y/N wasn’t pinned behind him on the couch. “I’m pretty tired, too. Think I’m g’na head to bed.”

Anne nodded.  “Alright. Sleep well, love. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Harry climbed the stairs behind Y/N and watched as she went straight to the bathroom to brush her teeth and take her makeup off. He shuffled up beside her to brush his teeth as well and made sure to annoy her by bumping her hip with his to make her move to the side.

“You’re a right pest,” she grumbled, “D’ya know that?”

Harry grinned, mouth full of foamy toothpaste, and pressed a smacking kiss to her cheek.

“Ew, Harry!” she scolded, wetting her hand to wipe the toothpaste from her face.  

He finished his nightly routine long before she did and retreated in to his childhood bedroom to go to bed.  He stripped off his tee and jeans, opting to leave his briefs on just in case Anne came to wake him up for breakfast in the morning. He had just settled into bed and was scrolling through Instagram on his phone when he heard the quietest of knocks sound on  his door.  “Yes, love?”

Y/N just slightly peaked the door open, looking as shy as ever as she stood in an old shirt and her worn out plaid sleep shorts. “Can I come in?”

“’Course ya can,” Harry said, setting his phone down on his nightstand. He shifted a little further to the other side of the bed and sat up a bit as she quietly shut his bedroom door behind her and tiptoed over to his bed.  Instead of sitting cross-legged on top of the comforter as she usually did when she came in for their late night chats, she gently lifted the blankets up and climbed in next to him and settled her head against the other pillow.  She didn’t say anything but started to trace the tattoos adorning his arm as he looked down at her. “Y/N? What’s gotten into yeh today, love?”

She shook her head and didn’t respond, seemingly too caught up in the outline of his rose to properly respond.

“Y/N,” Harry said a little more stern, gently moving his arm away from her as he sat up fully against the headboard.

She shifted in response to his tone, backing up a little and sitting up in the bed.  Her bum rested on her feet as she stared at him solemnly.  “It’s just…”

“What, love?”

Y/N shook her head, features showing that of shame as she looked down at the bed linens instead of him. “Nevermind, I’m being silly.” She started to move to get up from the bed and make her retreat, but she was stopped by Harry’s large hand cupping her cheek.

“Love, if something is truly bothering you,then s’not silly. I can’t make it better if you don’t tell me what it is, hmm?” His hand against her face made it so that it was nearly impossible for her to look away from his piercing green eyes.  

“It’s just…Townes.”

Harry blinked, barely understanding what she meant. “Okay…? What about her?”

She sniffed, and Harry’s heart broke knowing she was struggling so much with what she wanted to say. “It’s stupid and selfish, but I hate knowing that you write all these songs about these girls and the world knows all about them and you thrive on it. You put her name in the bloody song, Harry! Everyone loves it, and I don’t even know her, but I feel like you guys just have this connection now that I was never good enough to have. It’s just…am I not special enough to you for a song? I don’t want you to be so ashamed of me that you won’t tell anyone about me.”

Harry’s mind scrambled as he intook this information. He never imagined this was how she would feel about the song.  Her words hit him like a ton of bricks and suddenly he knew. That feeling in the back of his mind that he’d always tried so hard to keep at bay…she felt it, too. She wouldn’t be so upset if she didn’t.  She loved him, too.  And he’d inadvertently made her feel unwanted. Y/N was all he’d ever wanted whether Harry had known it or not. He knew he had to make her feel better and hurried to grab her hips and pull her closer to him. She started to slip and fumble against the bed so she grabbed onto his shoulders to steady herself. Once her knees had been pulled to either side of his lap, he pushed her hips down to settle her into a straddle above him. “No, love.  That’s not it at all. ‘S that what’s had yeh upset ever since we were out in the yard today? Yeah, I wrote a song about a girl that I barely know. Think people might get a bit tired of me if I wrote them all about you like I’d like to do.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise. “W-what?”

Harry chuckled, pulling her closer by the hips and nuzzling against her neck. “You beautiful, silly girl. You didn’t really think ‘Sweet Creature’ was about Gem, did you? You do have a song, and a very special place in my heart. But that’s just it. You’re too special, love. I’m too selfish to share you with the whole world.”

“W-wait, ‘Sweet Creature is about me?” her eyes watered as she looked at him in awe.

“’Course it is, love. ‘S just that you’re mine and the world can’t have you. Gotta protect yeh from them. Pretty sure I’ve loved you my whole life. But my love for you is just for you, and I don’t wanna share that with the world.”

Y/N seemed to sputter as she struggled to keep up. “You l-love me? Harry, I-I-” She started to get choked up and couldn’t seem to find the words to say.

“I know, love.  I know.” He reached up to hold her face in his hands, lifting his leg up to shift her closer to him. His gaze was locked on her mouth as he inched closer, and Y/N thought she might faint.

Finally, when their foreheads were pressed together and she could feel his warm, minty breath on her tongue, she let her eyes slip closed. One of her hands that had been resting against his shoulder moved up to fist at the back of his curly locks. “I love you, too, bubs.”

Harry felt as if he’d been struck by lightning when he buttoned his mouth firmly to hers. He was sure he could’ve spent his entire life just kissing her like that, but his body immediately craved to have her closer. She gasped when he traced her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, and he quickly took the opportunity to dive into her mouth. She let out a little whimper that almost made Harry groan aloud when his tongue touched hers. Her fingers tugged gently at the roots of his hair as she pushed herself as closely to him as she possibly could. Their tongues tangled between their mouths for a moment before Harry gave her what she thought would be a reprieve, but she let out another little noise when he took her bottom lip between his teeth and gently sucked. This time he couldn’t control the little growl that bubbled up from the back of his throat and quickly reattached his lips to hers.

Y/N could feel the vague smug smirk adorning his lips through their kiss over the noises he was making her generate.  To retaliate, she quickly disconnected their kiss and trailed her lips down his jaw and neck, finding a nice place to bite down on at the same time that she rolled her hips forward against his. He groaned in pain and pleasure and took her hips back in his hand. “D-Do that again, love.”

“Do what again, Harry?” Y/N teased as she soothed over the bite on the side of his neck with her tongue. She gasped lightly when his hands gripped firmly to her bum and pushed her hips forward again. This time, there was no mistaking the erection straining hard against his briefs. “F-fuck,” he stuttered in her ear as she moved against him once more in a wave, enjoying the feeling of him heavy and warm between her legs.

Y/N lifted her head to kiss him again as she continued to grind against him. While she had him thoroughly distracted with her lips, she quickly moved her hand down between them to palm at him through his underwear. As soon as she pressed down into the bulge, Harry parted from her with a gasp of his own. “Don’t h-have to, love.” The next noise he let out could only be called a moan as she pressed her small hand against him again.

She shook her head and pressed her lips against his in a quick peck. “Want to,” she promised.  

Harry nodded, eyes closed and head leaned back as he just absorbed the feeling of her against him. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth to avoid being too loud as he felt her hand dip inside his underwear and brush against his swollen length.

“Can we get these off?” She tugged at the waistband of his Calvins, eager to get him loose so she could put her mouth on him.

Harry fought to open his eyes and make them focus on her face as he nodded and tapped against her thigh to signal her to move off him.  As soon as she was kneeling at his side, he stuffed his thumbs into the side of the briefs and lifted his bum to shove them down his legs. Once they were successfully discarded, he looked down at himself to see his length twitch slightly against his tummy, the raspberry tip bubbling a little bit of pre-cum against the hairs just under his belly button. He could almost cry it felt to good to be out of the confines of his underwear.

If he thought that felt good, it was nothing compared to what the felt when Y/N leaned down to timidly kitten lick at the little spot he’d dripped on himself. He bit down on the skin of his hand to keep from making a noise too loud as her tongue accidentally brushed against his slit. She looked up at him as if to get permission, and he nodded quickly at her before she looked back down and began to kitten lick at the underside of him as she took his length in her hand. Her tongue brushed against the vein throbbing there before getting caught briefly on the ridge of his head, and already Harry was frustrated by the veil of her hair obscuring his view. He gently brushed it up into his hands to hold on to as she finally took the head of him into her warm, wet mouth.

“Baby, please,” Harry almost whimpered. His balls were starting to hurt because of how turned on he was.  Luckily, she didn’t make him wait any longer and quickly bobbed down on him, her hand following her mouth’s path back up before sliding down again. On her next pass up, she lolled her tongue around his tip like it was a lolly, and his head fell back at the feeling. “Ungh.”

Y/N began to move faster against him, dragging her hand up and down the length of him with her mouth provide sufficient lubrication. She could taste the occasional blurt of pre-cum against her tongue, and it only made her want more. His little groans and gasps spurred her on even more, and she finally reached up his hands to cup at his balls while she had him deep in her mouth.  He groaned a little louder than he should have at the feeling, and she slid her mouth back up for her tongue to swipe at the slit of him just as her thumb gently pressed to the space just behind his sac.  He immediately gasped and reached down to grab at her hand. “N-No, I’ll cum. Ungh. Can’t cum yet. Have to be inside you first. P-Please, oh God, please don’t make me cum.”

She pulled up and swirled her tongue against his head one last time before sliding off him with a little “pop” noise. She pressed kisses against his hips and fern tattoos while she waited for him to catch his breath.

He panted rapidly against her, struggling to keep a quiet level as he tried not to lose his mind. “Fuck, where did you even learn that?” He laughed a little deliriously as she smiled against his hipbone. Finally, Y/N pulled herself up against him and he didn’t waste time pressing his lips to hers. “Are you gonna let me make you feel good?” He asked between kisses.

She whimpered against him and nodded almost imperceptibly. “Please,” she whispered against him, and he took that as his cue to gently flip them over so she was on her back.

“Let’s get this off o’ yeh, yeah?” Harry gently pushed her shirt up her torso, pressing kisses to the skin he exposed along the way. His tongue just briefly caught against her erect nipple before he lifted up to pull the shirt completely from her body. He quickly returned to the area, suckling her right nipple into his mouth as his fingers tweaked her left. She let out a quiet sigh of contentment against him and tangled her fingers in his hair, gently massaging his scalp. After giving her left breast the same attention her right had received, he started kissing back down her torso.  His hands slipped into the waistband of her shorts and pulled them down, leaving her panties in place.

Harry almost groaned at the sight of Y/N’s underwear. Baby pink cotton was darkened slightly between her legs, and he couldn’t help but gently press his tongue against the wet spot she had made. He wasn’t sure if it was the pineapple she’d had earlier in the day or if she just always tasted that sweet, but he immediately knew he had to get a better sense. He dragged his tongue up and pressed it gently against where he knew her clit would be, and she let out a wet gasp at the feeling. “S-stop teasing,” she stuttered, tanking gently against his curly locked entangled between her fingers.

Harry chuckled against her and kissed gently at her hipbone. “Just returning the favor, love.” He gently pulled down her underwear, and his mouth began to water at the pretty pink feast in front of him. “Christ, baby. So beautiful. Are yeh wet for me? I know yeh are.”

She nodded, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she waited for him to move. Unfortunately, he seemed to be too preoccupied admiring her to actually do anything. “Harry, dammit, do something!” she groaned.

He looked up at her with a smirk. “Now, love. Gotta be patient fo’ me. Can yeh do that? Here, suck my fingers and get them nice and wet fo’ me, please.” He pressed his ring and middle finger against her lips and waited for her to close her eyes and suck them into her mouth. “Good girl.” Just when he was sure she was sufficiently distracted, he dipped down and licked a broad stripe up her sex. She immediately went slack jawed and struggled to inhale. He pressed his fingers against her tongue to remind her of her task at hand, and it took a moment before she wrapped her lips back around him and went back to sucking.

Harry’s tongue gently prodded against her entrance, taking the opportunity to lap up the sweet essence that was nothing but uniquely Y/N. When he had gathered most of her wetness on his tongue, he pushed his tongue into her briefly and made her whimper before removing his fingers from her mouth. “Thank you, love. Doin’ so good for me, aren’t you?” He brought his newly wet fingers down to her entrance and slowly pushed just one in, feeling her wet, spongy warmth wrap tightly around him. He fought against a groan of his own as his tongue gently lapped at her clit.

“Haoh, shit, Harry,” Y/N moaned, making sure to keep her voice low as her grip tightened in his hair. As soon as she pulled slightly against him, he groaned against her and set vibrations all across her clit. She whimpered and tugged a little harder, noticing how Harry’s eyes squeezed tighter shut and he licked at her with a little more enthusiasm. The knowledge that he liked having his hair pulled when he was eating a girl out nearly made Y/N fall apart. “Harry, please, more.”

He was apparently done with the teasing as well and pushed a second finger into her without preamble. He thrust them gently inside of her as his lips wrapped around her clit and sucked, and she turned her head and moaned into the pillow next to her. His fingers began searching her walls for that spot that would drive her mad, and he licked her clit into his mouth before gently shaking his head against her. His fingers brushed against a spongy spot inside her at the same moment and pressed into it. Her legs immediately snapped shut around his head as her muffled moans increased slightly in volume. Harry went back to licking against her for a moment as his fingers thrusted against her spot. Then he alternated between suckling against her and licking, noticing how the variety had her squirming underneath him. When he felt her walls begin to flutter around his fingers, he hooked his fingers against her little spongy bump and rubbed against it and his teeth sunk gently into her clit before giving her a good suck. His tongue ran just once against her clit, and she was falling apart beneath him whispering his name like a mantra. He worked her through her orgasm, only coming up when she tugged a little harsher against his curls due to sensitivity.

Her chest heaved against him as he journeyed up to her neck, pressing gentle kisses against her while she came down. “Yeh good, love?” he checked when he felt her breathing start to slow to a normal pace.

She managed the smallest of laughs against him. “I’m much better than good, bubs. I’d quite like for you to make love to me, though.”

Harry couldn’t help the elated grin that lit up his features, and he pecked gently against her lips twice. “Are you sure you’re still up for it?” When he saw her sparkly-eyed little nod, he couldn’t help but kiss her again. “Then it’d be my pleasure. Do yeh want me to use a rubber?” He knew she’d been on birth control since she was 17, but he’d still give her the option to see what she was more comfortable with.

She shook her head immediately. “Just wanna feel you.”

Harry smiled against her lips. “Never been bare with anyone before.”

Her cheeks got dusted with that rosy pink color he loved, but she didn’t seem as embarrassed as usual by his blunt language. “Me either. ‘M glad we can be each others’ firsts.”

Harry immediately shook his head and reached down to line up against her entrance, smiling at her gasp when his tip brushed against her still-sensitive clit. “Baby, we’re each others’ lasts.” He covered his mouth with hers before she could respond, he pushed inside her.

Y/N certainly hadn’t been with as many people as Harry, but she was no virgin. Despite that, she’d never felt anything quite like Harry inside her. She knew it wasn’t about the lack of a condom covering his length. It was her Harry, the boy she’d run through gardens with as a little kid. The guy she’d shared her first kiss with against a tree when she was eleven years old. She’d always loved him, and she’d never felt closer with anyone in her entire life. The knowledge that she, with her legs wrapped around Harry’s waist as he was buried to the hilt inside her, his lips gently rubbing against her collarbone, could not be any physically closer to him if she tried was enough to make her eyes misty.

“You’re so damn beautiful, Y/N. Swear I’m gonna love yeh forever.” She could barely hear the words uttered against her neck as he made his first careful withdrawal, all the way to the tip, before gently thrusting forward again. He looked up in alarm when he heard her sniffle, but she quickly took his face in her hands and pressed kisses to every bit of skin she could get at.

“I love you, too, bubs. Forever and a day,” she promised. He smiled against her just because she always had to one up him, then he pressed his lips to hers as he began to move a little faster inside her.

She gasped when the length of him brushed against that spot inside her, and her arm tugged him closer by wrapping around his shoulder.

“Shh, baby, gotta stay quiet. Can’ have them comin’ in, can we?” Harry gently hushed her his lips brushed against her temple.

She nodded against him and tried not to cry out as he reached down to grab at one of her knees around his waist. He gently hoisted her leg up into the crook of his arm to provide a new angle in which he could push deeper into her. His other hand braced against the bed to hold himself up as he pushed in all the way and grinded his pelvic bone against her clit. Immediately, her eyes snapped shut and jaw dropped open at the feeling, nails digging into his back as she fought for something to keep her grounded to earth.

Harry continued to thrust a little harder against her, always aiming for her spot, and stopped occasionally for those little grinds he quickly discovered drove her crazy. Her little gasps morphed into whimpers and whisperings of his names and quiet moans, and Harry nearly lost his mind. He began to thrust faster against her with the leverage his arm provided against the mattress, hitching her leg higher up in his arm so it was pressed between their torsos.

“Harry, Harry, ‘m gonna cum, please come back,” Y/N sounded desperate as she tried to hold off her climax. She wanted him close to her when she came, and she ran her nails down his back in an effort to pull him down to her.

“Shh, shh, I’m here, love. S’alright.” Harry immediately dropped her leg down from his arm and moved down to hover just above her. He took one of her hands from his back and intertwined their fingers together above their heads. He felt her legs wrap back around his waist as he pressed his lips against hers and moved a bit faster in an effort to get her to climax. He cursed slightly under his breath when the headboard started to gently tap against the wall in their efforts, and he reached up to hold the top to keep it from making to much noise. “Rub your clit for me. Can yeh do that, love? ‘M gonna make yeh come, I promise.”

The hand of Y/N’s that he wasn’t holding onto snaked into the narrow space between their bodies, and she gasped as soon as her fingers made contact with the nerves. She used her legs around his waist to pull her hips tight to his on every thrust he gave her, meeting him halfway. “Wan’ you to come with me. Please, please do it with me.”

Harry nodded frantically, feeling the coil burning white hot in his belly. “I will, baby, I will. Fuck, I love you so much.” He felt her walls begin to flutter around him, and he knew he was done for. He squeezed her hand tighter in his and thrusted as hard as he could while keeping a hand on the headboard in order to minimize the noise. “Come now, baby. Come with me.” They moaned into each other’s mouths as she clenched around him like a vice in her climax. He didn’t stand a chance as soon as she started to close in on him, and he disconnected his lips from hers to bite down into the spot between her neck and shoulder as he felt the coil in tummy snap. She continued to use her hips to thrust up against him as his orgasm hit full force and he emptied himself inside her. The feeling of rope after rope coating her walls was something she’d never felt before and never wanted to go without again. Finally, when she started to feel that he was spent, she released her legs from around him and reached up to brush a stray curl from where it was matted with sweat against his forehead. Her own forehead and body felt clammy with perspiration, but whether it was hers or his she couldn’t be sure. He shook lightly in her arms as he lowered himself down to her, pressing kisses to every bit of skin he could get at. He went to pull out of her, but she scrambled to put a hand against his hip and push him down into her.

“Not yet,” she begged, “wanna feel you just a little longer.”

Harry smiled, nodding his head as he lifted his head just slightly to kiss her. This kiss was less frantic than the previous ones had been. It was slow and unhurried and full of nothing but love. When Harry felt himself going soft inside her, he gently retracted his pelvis from Y/N’s before pressing kisses across her face. “Thank you for being amazing, love.”

Y/N felt her eyelids beginning to flutter shut from exhaustion but smiled nonetheless. “Thank you for loving me, Harry Styles.” She allowed him to pull the covers up their naked bodies, turning off to the side so that Harry could spoon behind her. She prayed they’d wake up in the morning before Anne came knocking on either of their doors and discovered what had happened before they got a chance to properly explain themselves. But when she felt Harry’s lips press gently to the shell of her ear, his arm around her waist and his whole body warming the back of hers, she decided to live in the moment. She’d worry about tomorrow when it came, because she knew she could handle anything with Harry by her side.




Thanks for reading, guys! I’d love feedback so let me know what you thought!!!

-S