lena dunham: “What’s wrong? Not used to seeing a girl like me? Do my fat folds turn you off? Are you so obsessed with skinny models that you’re grossed out by me? *pulls down her own pants* Look at this vagina…look at it! Does it creep you out that it hasn’t been washed or shaved in 3 years? Can your misogynistic mind not handle a REAL woman’s body?
man: “No, Miss Dunham. As I explained before, I’m gay. Now would you please put your pants back on and leave the museum; there are children here and you’re frightening them.”
I look forward to the day when the lgbt community is embarrassed about their history of the way asexual and aromantic people were treated. When they look back and think “man that was really fucked up what some people in our community did.”
Because they fucking should be embarrassed. There are people of the lgbt community who are reenacting the bigoted oppression they claim to hate and fight against. They don’t like us because we’re different. They’re angry at us because they don’t believe we’re treated badly by the wider community.
They act like people haven’t been bullied, ignored, laughed at, or fucking sexually assaulted because they are asexual.
What’s worse, they’re angry at us because they don’t think we’ve experienced that. I hope one day they realise how many types of fucked up that is.
I’m done. I’m not taking this shit anymore. I’ve tried being polite about it. I’ve tried being reasonable and level-headed. I’m fucking beyond that now. Take a fucking look at yourself, at how you’re treating us, and consider the fact that you just might be an asshole.
And you don’t know what [Jackie] is doing at Marquette. Or who. Man, she said she wouldn’t do anything. Yeah, but I bet if she did, you’d cry because you love her. ♛ You can’t make someone like Hyde do anything. You have to deal with him the way he deals with you. Look, pretend you don’t care what he does, and he’ll come around. Well, I guess it’s worth a try. You know, being with a real man is complicated.
BTS reaction to their gf surprising them backstage
He would be so startled. Like his eyes would get super big and he would look and feel like he just saw an actual ghost. Once the suprise factor is gone he would be a overgrown child he is and just give you so much love and affection.
He would try to remain calm even though his body would scream from the insides because of how happy he is. Only thing that would give away his excitement would be his gummy eye smile and occasional glances towards you just to make sure what’s happening is real.
Another man child trying to act tough. He would tryto look so manly in front of you, acting like it’s no big deal even though shy namjoon would rise and he would be blushing so hard and giggling so wide.
He would scream and hug you sooo tight your liver might fucking burst. Seriously, he would look like you just saved 7 billion puppies from getting run over. I don’t even have any words to explain it it’s literally just it.
Okay but Jimin would be so happy. His face woud go from shook as fuck to eye smile in 0.000001 seconds. He would just hug you for straight up a minute and not let you go till you are like “uhh jimin? are you good?”
He wouldn’t even try to act like he isn’t freaking bursting from happiness like other members. He would be yelling, he would be kissing you all over your face, he would freaking piggyback you to the coach and throw you on it. This sunshine would be so stoked he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
I am a firm believer would not even realize its you he would go in his spacey little mind like “Oh that’s obviously not Y/N” and then you would be like “JUNGKOOK” and he would be so shook like who is jungkook how are you here what is happening.
The year of 2016 shall in many peoples memories, be a year of complete and total shit. A year that saw the rise and fall of many great things. From Donald Trump to Harambe memes and everything in between, 2016 was a year of transition.
And so too was it for me a year of transition. A year where I said goodbye to a great many things yet at the same time ushering in a new chapter in the book of Destery. Which is not a real book because if it was, it would be full of poop jokes and terrible humor.
So much like the years before me, in addition to listing my accomplishments throughout this year, I’ll follow it up with what I’d like to see achieved in 2017 and hopefully at the end of it, I can look back and say “man this year didn’t suck, thats amazing! How new!”
1. YouTube 2016 was one of the most eye opening and easily the most financially lucrative years on YouTube I’ve ever had. this year alone I gained almost 250,000 subscribers, almost doubling what I gained last year, And finally hitting that magical One million subscriber mark that people have been long anticipating. And while numbers don’t truly mean that much to me, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t extremely proud of how far I’ve come. That said, this year also was a huge year of transition on YouTube for me. I ceased making WTF NEWS on Shane’s channel and started up WTF FIVE, a show that was definitely out of my comfort zone when I first started it; but I’m glad I took the risk as it’s taught me a lot about myself in the process of the show’s growth, now reaching almost 1 Million people per video. WTF NEWS was moved to my Capndesdes, which has quickly became the #1 most viewed show on my channel. In addition, i stopped doing the Recap vlogs and brought back the Destery watch vlogs which I believe feels a lot more personal and allows me to have sort of a conversation with people rather than just talk about my life that really isn’t all that exciting anyways. I stopped doing the Monthly favorite videos, I stopped doing Real Ass Talk videos, I stopped streaming on twitch, I closed down my MineCraft server, and I haven’t posted a QNA in over a year, but regardless, true fans and viewers have still stuck by my side, eager for whatever random shit I dish out next. In the next year I hope to continue posting my WTF NEWS videos, Destery Watch vlogs, random skits, as well as bring back the Capndesdes QNA videos as I greatly enjoyed doing them.
2. EXPANDING With all the phasing out of older video series, many people began wondering: what the hell is destery doing with his time anyways? And while YouTube will always be a main passion and income source for me, 2016 proved to be the first year where I tried expanding my reach in more than just the digital world. So in order to cut back even more on the amount of time I spend per week doing YouTube, I hired two editors this last year who have been a tremendous help to me in allowing myself more time to focus on more pressing concerns than spending 5 fucking hours editing a video. And With the free time gained from the help of my editors, I was able to focus on something I’ve always wanted to do: make a board game. And Though the game is still very much in it’s alpha phase, I’ve recently also hired two artists who are already taking the game from just an idea into a magnificent work of art that has inspired me even more to have it released. I can’t wait for you guys to play it and remark on just how fucking nerdy I am that one of my dreams in life was to make a board game.
3. STEPPING OUT OF MY HOBBIT HOLE So one of my resolutions for last year was to travel. To see more than just the worlds and places I see on TV and to actually venture into the scary unknown abyss known as “outside”. Well this year I’m happy to report that I travelled a metric fuck ton. Starting with going to Tennessee last January; then to Las Vegas in March, then exploring cool new places here in Portland, visiting my mom and Nathan in Idaho twice on a long and terrible car ride, Then to The land which I promised I would never return in Orlando Florida, then to a weekend in Seattle, and then again to Tennessee. This year was by far the most I’ve ever travelled and I’m extremely proud that I was able to leave my comfort zone which is really just my apartment filled with cats and video games, to embark on a quest to see more of the world.
4. BODY IMAGE SO fun fact - I’ve never really thought very highly of myself. Even if I have all of these accomplishments and useless to mediocre talents like making transformer sounds with my mouth, I still have a hard time with my own self worth and image. So this last year I vowed to test myself. To push myself harder than I ever have before both mentally and physically. And though I still look like a sad sack of uncooked chicken, My increasing desire to work out, eat healthy, and ice skate rigorously has only been briefly halted this year by my own doubts and the evil addicting nature of Taco Bell. I know that this year I can prove to myself even more that I am a Warrior and I will not give in to doubt or 2 dollar chicken burritos.
So those were my accomplishments I felt were worth noting this year, And as I venture forth into the next year, I have but one resolution. STOP BEING LAZY. The largest hurdle between me and greatness is the limitations I set in my own mind And the inability to act on opportunity simply because it requires work. Nothing is simply achieved. Everything requires work - and my goal this year to be someone who constantly strives to work their hardest. Not only for my fans and people who look up to me, but to myself as well. When you’re sad and feeling helpless, many times, it’s hard to dig yourself out of the hole you’ve made. But inaction is greater a crime than trying and failing. Inaction leads to settling. Settling leads to regret, and regret leads to a mundane life. And if theres one thing I know, I will never settle for the mundane. Because the weird - The strange. The people who try something they’ve never done, or attempt something that frightens them - Those are the people who change the world.
Because we’ve all moved on. Next chapter: Friends.
But in order not to smile - to not look fondly - but still LOOK - LOOK RIGHT AT HIM YOU CAN DO IT - he -
Looks hard. Not glaring - what is this? - Pointed - Aggressive.
And when he opens his mouth to say these simple words, so we can sit together, just brothers finally -
It happens easy. He’s focusing on staring - hard - and not smiling -
make your eyes wide and open and yet shielded and solid -
Do NOT RELAX YOUR EYES.
And he hears, coming from his own mouth -
You can’t control everything. Something’s gotta slip.
So you jut your head forward - balance it out - lean into it - it’s just a word -
“Want some coffee?” to a being who does not eat or drink.
God damn Dean.
But your connection’s a force - looking at Cas in this moment is like trying to look at the sun when you know you shouldn’t, can’t look at the sun without being bathed in it. You don’t stop the sun by giving it dominant aggressive eyes.
He’s trying to not let anyone know, including himself, and definitely not the sun. This is what you do when you love someone and you’ve resigned yourself to never telling them.
Because this is good - what you have here. You’re together. And you’re safe. Under the same roof. Can’t ask for anything else.
You shouldn’t expect that you could also have breakfast together at the same table. But you made him breakfast and coffee anyway, even though he doesn’t eat breakfast or drink coffee. You just wanna sit at this table, your table, his safe space, together. And glare at him. That’d be so nice, just to glare at him for a while. Roll your eyes. Smirk. If he’d just sit down.
And you had waited and talked with your brother, with this little coffee question in your pocket that is very, very sweet, that is small and you want to give this question to him, place it in his hand like a warm mug of coffee. And then there he was - there he is - he’s here - in your kitchen. And the question came out and of course it was aggressive as possible because if you didn’t you’d let down your guard, and you’d smile too big and then everyone will know.
And then the Sun, your Sunshine, hears you, senses you, and what this is, what this could be, if you let it.
Darrel Curtis- The Most Dorkiest Man Alive (Headcanon) (Collab with westsidegreaser)
I have officially decided that Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr. is the most dorkiest and adorable man on the planet.
- Even though it doesn’t look like it, Darry loves poetry.
-His favorites being Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson.
-The gang figured this out when he helped Ponyboy write a poem for English class and continued to sass Pony on what proper rhyme and meter to use.
-Darry is that guy who holds doors open like a true gentleman, even if you are two miles away.
- He blushes real easily.
-He is a teachers pet.
-He only got detention once and that was because he had to get Two-Bit out of a sticky situation which involved a punch or two being thrown at Socs. When he received the detention he became very flustered and became very embarrassed about the whole thing.
- During his high school years, he wore braces.
-He played the cello in middle school but had to quit after he started playing football.
-He is also very farsighted so he wears reading glasses. And by god does he look adorable in them!
- He is also that one guy who loves Shakespeare. His favorite play being “Julius Caesar”.
-Sometimes in high school, Darry and Two-Bit would play different parts from different Shakespeare plays, Soda and Steve would sometimes join in as well. Two-Bit always wanted to play the female role while Darry the male and Darry still doesn’t understand why…
-And last but not least, he does not understand when a woman is flirting with him. He simply does not understand the whole flirting process so he just assumes that they are just being nice. Soda is still trying to get it in his head that that’s not the case.
okay so, question- how the frick do you have so many styles? and keep making more??? like TpoH is totally different from Fox Song and TpatJ and then these two crazy new MP100 looks you got going and I like, just, what? how.
ahaha omg I actually, uh, I don’t know?! I am real glad you like it, I think it’s mostly that I just, I dunno, I’m never 100% happy with the way I draw and I love the way other people draw, so I look at their work and try to suck out the parts I like and smash them together, and also I play? a lot. Playing a lot is really good for you man I can’t endorse the health benefits of Pure Mucking About and I guess really that’s what it boils down to. yeah.
What about Chris Evans x reader and the hint is sex on the beach under the stars? Thanks x
(This isn’t full-on smut because I don’t write real people smut because even reading it makes me uncomfortable but here is something along those lines)
You hear a tap at your window and frown, what the heck was that? Another tap happens, you stand up and throw the blinds up and open the window looking down and seeing your ex- best friend Chris Evans on the ground by your apartment looking for… stones? How cliche.
“Evans?” You yell and the man jumps at the suddenness of your voice, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He’s staring up at you just as angry like you’re the one throwing rocks at his window. “I’m trying to figure out why my best friend hasn’t returned my calls in three weeks?” He whispers yelled back to you.
“I didn’t return your calls because you had to make things weird between us,” he rolls his eyes, “you went and got emotional over stupid things and got ‘feelings’ that wasn’t the agreement!”
“Can you just come down here and talk to me?” He asked and you shake your head, hand on the handle of the window, threatening to slam it shut any moment. “Why the fuck not?”
You rolled your eyes, “Because I am not alone, dickhead!”
“Well, the sex is better with me,“ he counters and you just scoff. “Just ten minutes, that’s all I need!”
Ten minutes turned into you both walking to the beach, it wasn’t really a beach but it had water and there was some sand, most rocks and stones but it had always been a place you went to think things over. It’s mostly silent between you both, the waves crashing against the rocks and your feet crunching on the stones.
You chanced a glance at Chris, he looked good, he had recently buzzed his head but he looked the same since the last you saw him. You had known Chris since you both got into acting, it was only last year when you started this… agreement between one another. It was difficult having a substantial relationship, you both had needs and he was good looking!
Then Chris got complicated, he’s only a few years older but still, he wanted everything a family-orientated man wanted at his age, a family and a wife. Not that you didn’t want that, you did! Chris only confirmed what you feared, he loved you and that honestly, scared you.
“I’m sorry I said everything I did,” Chris was the first to break the silence. “I guess, I thought you felt the same and I’ve been known to confuse lust with love sometimes, it happens a lot.” He tried to chuckle but sighed gently.
You nodded for a few seconds, “I got scared. We promised we wouldn’t fall in love or let feelings get in the way, you had to go and mess it up by confessing you loved me, mid orgasm! Who does that? Chris Evans apparently!” He chuckled and nodded.
“Wait… we wouldn’t fall in love?” He stopped and frowned, you blabbed. He always knew how to make you just talk, “are you saying you had feelings too and I wasn’t confusing lust with love?” He asked and you remained silent. “I fucking knew it! I knew it, I’m not an idiot.”
“Don’t get too cocky, Evans” You chuckled at the man before you, “Now what?”
He was smiling and shrugged, “well, you kick that guy out outta your house and invite me inside!”
“I can’t” He frowned, “it’s my brother and he had a layover, I can’t kick him out. And I’m not inviting you in, he’d be pissed if you woke him up.”
Yourself and Chris remained on the beach, sat wrapped in one another under the moonlight just talking, and kissing. You stayed there till the first morning light, basking in the emotions you both kept from one another, it was slightly uncomfortable but worth it.
(Send in drabble prompts/ smut/angst/fluff for the Avengers or Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan/ The Walking Dead ones welcome. This fits me so perfectly, hate my birthday! Thank you for the 11K - Ro)
okay i know steve is like, immune to toxins or something dumb like that, but what if he ISN’T. what if he’s like, only resistant and somebody drugs him up to the gills and then you have a big, clumsy super soldier who can’t make his feet work right and keeps biting his own tongue and spacing out (and mumbling, gee, tony, you’re real good-looking aren’t you? just–a knockout, huh?)
and he sort of knows he’s out of it, and gets frustrated occasionally, but then his head falls on tony’s shoulder and he gets distracted by how tony smells (you smell sharp. like. like. pointy. you know? i like it)
I know its why do I care about celebrity drama even though I said I don’t pay much attention to it but Black Chyna is an abuser. The sad thing is that when I looked it up on Tumblr people were just being so same petty and on her side. What if someone got into a relationship with you and knew you had issues and used it against you? What if they used your wealth and fame and then decided to get up and take your baby without telling you? You guys are nothing but children and think this shit is funny and its not. This shit happens in real life all the time and its not right. You have women who will use a man and take his child from him like its nothing. She knew what she was doing and to be honest Black Chyna is an example of someone who uses people. She has no talent but to strip on a pole and by the time she’s old and sagging she’s going to be left high and dry.
People got surprises on christmas all the time, though nothing could have prepared you for yours. You knew Dean and Sam loved you like their little sister and since your uncle Bobby had died, the only family that you had left, they did everything they could to make you happy. Normally that love ends somewhere and when people say stuff like ‘I’ll get you a star from the night sky if you wish’ that’s meant metaphorically. Had you only known that with these too it wasn’t. They had asked you what you wanted for christmas and since you didn’t want anything you jokingly had wished for an angel.
Staring in disbelief you traced the outlines of his wings with your eyes, mouth opening in awe as you watched an amused look taking over the mans face.
“I’m Balthazar, nice to meet you love.”
“You brought me an angel, a real angel?” You asked confused and look back at Sam and Dean.
“Yeah…don’t be too impressed, he’s a dick.” Dean states annoyed, giving the angel a warning look, “But you wanted an angel and we couldn’t find a better one at the moment.”
“That’s very rude since you were the ones asking for a favour, you two brats could be a bit more thankful.” He sighs dramatically and turns back to you, reaching out his hand for you to take it, “You my dear, are extremely beautiful.”
“Aren’t you a bit too flirty for an angel?” You grin slyly, liking the way he talks, his accent making you want to listen to his voice for hours.
“We come in all shapes and sizes.” He winks at you at the last part and you can’t help but smirk a little at his cockiness.
“Seriously, back off of her.” Dean interrupts, always ready to defend you, though this time you really didn’t need it. Balthazar was more than charming and you didn’t mind his flirting at all.
He takes your hand, pulling you a bit closer to whisper into your ear, “Would you like to get out of here?”
His hot breath hits your skin, making you shiver slightly. Not the christmas present you had been expecting but there was no reason to complain at all. You nod and in the blink of an eye the surroundings are changing from your room to somewhere else entirely.
“I have a question.” Balthazar says in a more serious tone this time, the previous flirtatious aura almost gone as he stares you down.
“Wh-What is it?” All kinds of worries were welling up inside you. What caused the sudden change in atmosphere and why did he look so damn serious?
“You could see my wings?” It’s asked as a question but it feels more like a statement because you feel like he already knows your answer.
“Yes…” You breath out quietly, watching his face change yet again, this time to something softer.
“Very interesting…” A smile spreads across his face as he walks closer, “…that is quite rare. Now…I do feel like we should get to know each other a lot better my dear.”