this is weird and disgusting but i really really wanted to make this

The truth is…
— 

Aries:

  • is a sassy bitch, let’s just accept that. always answering back, they’d even answer back to any god (may it be diplomatically or sarcastic)
  • always give people cheap gifts not because they’re broke but because they think that’s the only standard or gift you deserve
  • has a huge disgust with humanity so they either get delusions of controlling the world or they avoid/limit their human interactions
  • their logic is out of this world: it’s either you get mesmerised and see a new horizon or you end up getting crazy because you can’t get it
  • beneath all their layers, they’re one of the smartest and hardworking people out there… always willing to help you study/work/etc.

Taurus: 

  • their trigger word is literally food and all its proper nouns. they’d sell their souls for a ceaseless supply of food and they’d won’t regret
  • literally possessive as fuck, aphrodite lives in their titties cos they dun calm down if they see someone circling around their man/woman.
  • obsessed with getting shit organised y'all don’t even know. they will never move unless a very detailed blue print is in front of them.
  • they will keep hustlin more than a twenty of you combined. they know and prioritise how precious time and money are.
  • when they say they can’t do an errand/plea, dun quickly believe them at all cost or you’ll get a small surprise: they’ll do it after some while. 

Gemini: 

  • know that archetype of a kind person who’ll obey & follow you to the death but has so many fucking personal motives? yep, that’s gemini.
  • their knowledge and expertise are vastly scary; multilingual people and historians. they aint called GEMinis for nothing, hunty.
  • for them, it’s a dog-eat-dog world. if you don’t match their pace, you’re basically out of their surviving list, whatever list that is.
  • insanely in love and proud making other people swoon over them (oh the oozing warmth of being loved and respected) but says otherwise
  • bad at remembering dates but that dun mean they love you less or you’re not that important to them, just believe in them.

Cancer:

  • they dun talk much but best believe me, whenever they speak it’s either they gon hand you your ass or roast the living shit out of you
  • are all terminally sarcastic bless their souls. they don’t have time for your bullshit, they don’t even have time for their own.
  • they will never side or they will avoid picking a side. they’re the best people to rant cos they will literally get where you coming from.
  • one of the sweetest and loving signs out there but for some reason, they tend to have some problems making real long time friends.
  • always look brooding or even out of reach. that’s cos they’re afraid words/actions won’t come/show they way they really want them too.

Leo:

  • so demure but once you get close to them/they know they have the upper control, they will fucking nag & bully everything
  • but after the searing primadonna stage, these lions are all just smol precious clumsy beans who must be protected at all cost
  • knows the traditional ways or romancing someone, like the flowers and cupcakes and shy yet formal asking you out for events/dates
  • easily clouded by false/dark ideas and hard to snap them out of it. it takes another brave alpha who can help them out of the cray
  • but don’t be fooled, these lions can be tamed and would be willing to tag along the right people for the rest of their life line.

Virgo:

  • dont slack off in front of them, they will give your ass a whoop back to reality. trust me, they give so much vigour and moral to people.
  • not easily scared of pretty much anything because they always think about the story/reason behind it, for this one, what made it scary?
  • they can get super fucking salty and shady and they aint afraid of being salty and shady, for a good or bad reason whatsoever.
  • they never fail to always see the bigger picture, that also means they’re not afraid to do everything to get to the biggest picture.
  • loves having fun and enjoying life without taking advantage of things or forgetting to be humble and well-grounded.

Libra: 

  • too pure for this world but these people have a skyrocketing tendencies to becoming a yandere (lol they probably already are)
  • their aesthetic perfectionism sickness is practically beyond all earth signs combined: they’ll set fire on anything lower than their standards.
  • too kind and angelic we dun deserve them. we also dun deserve their life sucking flirtatious killer charms. we just dun deserve then all in all
  • these bitches love to meddle with other people’s business tho. either they save the situation or aggravate it, there’s no in between
  • even with all the hate on their kind, libra people just keep their heads up and tryn’a understand and accept other people’s view of them.

Scorpio: 

  • for the vagillionth time, y'all have to remember that these “””devil children””” are all just 4D weird bastards who easily space out.
  • the sexy airheads we all get from anime. but dun cross them & their fambam, they won’t think twice about apathetically cutting you.
  • everyone’s fairy godmother/father cos if they love you & they see you deserving, they will lavish &treat you so great. aint lying, dis the truth
  • willing to learn from others but is obsessed with “i am the most mature one so my wisdom is the greatest and the only effective one”
  • so many layers, like they’re literally never-ending. but after plucking all these layers out, you’ll see a fragile marshmallow baby inside 

Sagittarius:

  • they need like a dozen of hobbies as outlets for their energy. if they don’t get the energy out, they become a host of a time bomb.
  • insatiably absorbs all information of all kinds like a baby on his mom’s chest or a tic sucking out blood from a fresh catch: you choose
  • no one really knows if they’re showing genuine reaction/emotion cos you don’t know if they’re forcing it or not or they dun even know too
  • is the jack of all trades cos they have so many talents but can’t focus and drill hard on one cos they jump from different talent to another
  • may come arrogant but always they always want everyone to be happy and enjoying the time, probably more than how libra wants it.

Capricorn: 

  • always late on almost everything. insomniac children of the night, so no matter how dire the situation is, they’ll always be late. deal with it.
  • condescending as fuck cos they know they can do pretty much anything please beware they are vicious machiavellians
  • obsessed with segregating people in their lives; they don’t want their friends to socialise with their family, this group with that group, etc.
  • avoids and gets easily tired with human interaction, but is magically brilliant with human interaction. their magic? idek ask them.
  • after you pass their scrutinising sifting of people in their lives, you’ll just see a funny, dependent, happy-go-lucky, perverted side of them

Aquarius:

  • also don’t like taking sides, will never jump onto anything without all the cards are seeable, yet also not afraid to speak up in the end.
  • obsessed and deranged with their fanaticism of any horror shit idk how they can carry on with a fine stomach after all that scary jazz
  • can never be controlled, they might seem controllable or easy to manoeuvre but spare your ass and don’t be fooled by this sign
  • disappears and reappears at their own will, and doesn’t care about the consequences of their absence, they literally don’t care.
  • in the end of the day, aquarius has no fucks to give any of the other signs. they don’t ask for a lot and they just wanna be left alone.

Pisces:

  • are quiet little shits who looks way more gorgeous when they’re mad cos they just turn fiendish but still in a cute way, like wtf how???
  • needs a fuck ton of guidance from older or more mature people cos they tend either the laziest, silliest, or most annoying things ever. 
  • how fucking annoying it is whenever they pull out the victim card like dude shove that thing back where it belongs or so I will.
  • are actually sensible people, kinda shocking for some but it’s the truth cos these people stay in tune with their emotions, they dun run away
  • break them to pieces and you’ll see a child needing to be loved and wanting to know what are the things that they can improve and learn
Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.
OTP Drabble Challenge!

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask, along with a pairing, and you write a drabble using that dialogue in your piece! Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

  1. “The doctor said it’s normal” - “Well that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
  2. “Baby, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.”
  3. “Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.”
  4. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”
  5. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child!!” - “DON’T THROW SCISSORS!”
  6. “Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering*
  7. “Did you hear that?” - “I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”
  8. “I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”
  9. “Why are you awake right now?”
  10. “Come over here and make me.”
  11. “I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.”
  12. “H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”
  13. “You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!”
  14. “No, I’m not talking to you.”
  15. “No more!” - “Okay, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.”
  16. “What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?”
  17. “The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  18. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?”
  19. “I just came to say goodbye…” - “Bullshit, you just feel bad.”
  20. “You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?”
  21. “Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda*
  22. “Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go”
  23. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.”
  24. “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.”
  25. “You can’t ride a bike?” - “Why are we whispering?”
  26. “Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!”
  27. “We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.”
  28. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”
  29. “It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!”
  30. “Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?”
  31. “I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.”
  32. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.”
  33. “Don’t you ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”
  34. “You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  35. “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?”
  36. “Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?”
  37. “…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.”
  38. “Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.”
  39. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?”
  40. “You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.”
  41. “It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.”
  42. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”
  43. “Should I be worried?” - “Is the grass green?”
  44. “You’re kidding me?!” - “Shush, my mom never taught me.”
  45. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
  46. “Will you go with me?” - “As long as you hold my hand.”
  47. “Baby, I’m scared.” - “You don’t have to be; not as long as I’m here.”
  48. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.”
  49. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.”
  50. “If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”
  51. “Seriously, the chimney?” - “The squirrel can’t win!”
  52. “32?” - “I’ll prove it!”
  53. “It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.”
  54. “You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.”
  55. “Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.”
  56. “Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “Okay, just don’t hit me.”
  57. “You forgot about my birthday!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.”
  58. “You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.”
  59. “Can you dance with me?” - “You’re not mad?”
  60. “I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.”
  61. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?”
  62. “I’m not going in.” - “Then we’re not going to get a treat after.”
  63. “I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”
  64. “I found it in the recycling bin.” - “Well, you’re the one killing the environment, so who’s really in the wrong here?”
  65. “We bet, and you lost.” - “But tattoos are permanent.”
  66. “Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?”
  67. “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”
  68. “What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.”
  69. “Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-”
  70. “I just don’t know what happened.” - “You’re too good for them.”
  71. “You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”
  72. “Tell me what I can do to help.” - “Sing me to sleep.”
  73. “You still need your baby blanket?”
  74. “Did you black out?” - “I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
  75. “Let’s just bury the hatchet.” - “Fuck your hatchet.”
  76. “I bet it’s a boy.” - “I bet it’s a turtle.”
  77. “Spare change?” - “You can’t be responsible, you don’t get your wallet.”
  78. “Cuddle or leave.” - “So is that a no to supper?”
  79. “Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.”
  80. “Why did I marry you?” - “It took a lot of convincing.”
  81. “Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.”
  82. “You have two choices.” - “Neither of which I like…”
  83. “I want a dog.” - “I want a cat.”
  84. “Chinese food?” - “Do we even know what that’s made of?”
  85. “These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.”
  86. “You don’t know how to change a tire?” - “Give it a rest, would you?”
  87. “That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.”
  88. “We got lucky. You’re not gonna do that again, right?”
  89. “Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!”
  90. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill a spider in the shower.”
  91. “Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?”
  92. “You forgot your book.” - “No, I lost my book!”
  93. “You’re weird.” - “Or you’re just basic.”
  94. “We need a vacation.” - “You read my mind too much, it scares me.”
  95. “Why’d you hug him? You love him?”
  96. “Sorry.” - “Good choice.”
  97. “Luck? Nope. Skills.” - “If it’s skill then do it again.”
  98. “Why can’t you just believe me?” - “Because you lied about it before.”
  99. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”
  100. *Make up your own*

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

the worst thing about trying to decide to read a fic:

-horrible writing.

-the summary is good but the story is written in a different language or is badly written.

-opening it to find no spaces between the paragraphs.

-both your otp and notp is tagged and you have no clue if you want to take a risk or not.

-tagged major character death and you start sweating.

-hasn’t been updated in 80 years but the summary is on point and their the best fucking writer ever.

-you start reading only to find that the person updates every ten years and you just happened to catch them on a day they finally updated.

-you find a writer and check them out, only to find out they mostly write about your notp - and of course they always update, have perfect writing and have stories that are epic.

-stories with so many fucking tags, you just shake your head and move on.

-the “i suck at summaries please check it out still” and you just, pause because it has your otp and you debate whether or not to take the risk.

-you find a pairing you never considered before and think holy shit, that could be hot and spend all day hunting through the tag.

-you ship a pairing so fucking hard, only to find like two fics and you start weeping.

-when you find a perfect story only to check the tags and see some weird shit that disgusts you and you scream why.

-a fic with good writing and summary but it’s so short or is only fan-art.

-a crossover fic where you have both of your fandoms but don’t have both of otps, just one.

-one shots that are so good you wish they were longer.

-when your notp is tagged but it’s labeled as a past relationship or says your otp is endgame, and you have to go through the notp’s awkward breakup in order for your otp to happen.

-when someone doesn’t tag properly and a plot twist hits you and you want to cry.

-you finally find a great fic that has been updated and the last update says writes block, personal issues- can’t do this, asks for co-writer, discontinues it or says lol i hate how this is turning out, deleting.

-when a writer as twenty stories to update and you cry because you like all of them and you have to wait.

-when you remember a story from like five years ago and you search for it, only to find it’s been deleted or can’t seem to find it anywhere.

-when a writer gives you an update schedule and you’re excited because they follow it but then they start missing it and you just…

-when a writer deletes a story and rewrites the same story but you like the original better.

-when your reading a story about a rare pairing that interests and your otp hate each other or just friends and it’s just so weird to read.

-when one half of your otp is in another relationship and the other half shows up with someone else and then you remember, right i’m not reading a story about my otp so i can’t get mad.

-when your otp is popular but it’s not as popular as another ship in the fandom and you hate how the other ship as so much more stories than your ship.

-when you try to read an ot3 relationship because it has two characters you love but the other character is usually from your notp and you hate when your notp share moments.

-when you beg an author (usually one where they aren’t in the fandom really) to write more stories about your otp and they say maybe and it never happens.

-when the writer literally shits on your favorite character and you can’t go through it anymore.

-when your otp isn’t the main pairing and you don’t really care about the other pairings in the story and skip to your otp parts.

-when a story has a million words and it’s so good and you know that you will spend all day and night reading it until your eyes hurt.

-when a story have 200 parts to it and you lose all hope after a while because the story is dragging.

-when your otp is going through something and so many stories are filled with angst, fluff and hurt that it makes you cry because yup, i need to read about my pain for my otp.

-when the writer refuses to write the smut you been waiting for and your otp is stuck in unresolved tension mode forever.

-when the writer unexpected changes the story’s events and you are disappointed by the direction.

-when you find a great au and the characters are so out of character… it makes you sad.

-when you open a fic only to find you hate the point of view and you scream.

-when you request a prompt and the author writes it but you are disappointed and just smile through the pain.

-when you have such a good idea in your head and you try to write it but it’s so bad that you delete it and cry, hoping someone else writes the brilliant idea that you had.

-when you don’t ship something anymore but see a great plot and you click the story and take a deep breath - because shit is about to go down.

-when you reading a great story but get distracted and skip some parts, shit goes down in between and then you think fuck, and have to start over.

-when it’s tagged “slow burn” and you say i can do this and it’s chapter 30 and my ship still hate each other like what.

-when the author says this is their first time writing smut and you think on god they better do this right - only to find out they writing eight pages on your otp making love. like yes.

-when the smut is so rushed or improper you feel cheated and log off because done. like so done.

-when it’s tagged “everyone lives” and your eyes water because that’s all you ever wanted in life.

-when the author leaves a cliffhanger and says in the author’s note “lol sorry about the cliffhanger, i’ll update soon”. you ain’t sorry, stop lying.

-when you see that the story is complete and do a happy dance, only to realize that it ended badly or the sequel/series hasn’t been updated.

Out of the Blue 03

Rated: M

Warnings: Explicit vulgar hybrid smut, knotting, dirty talk.

Summary: Jungkook has only ever thought of his breeding clients as just that - clients, and he’s always quite indifferent to them since he only ever knows them for a short period of time. But then you come along, and he starts experiencing feelings that aren’t being manipulated by your heat. Real feelings, that he has never harbored before with anyone else.

Notes: finally part 3 is here!! this one was really tricky. i edited it so much in terms of adding parts, then turning around and taking them back out and just completely removing an entire scene and replacing it with something that flowed better. ugh. i have mixed feelings on this, but it is what it is lmfao i mean all it is is smut so i guess it really doesnt matter. enjoys babes <3

Words: 6.3k

01 | 02 | 03


It was odd, Namjoon thought, at how comfortable you and Jungkook seemed to be around each other, having only known each other for a little over a day. He couldn’t even begin wrap his head around the way ‘natural instincts’ and 'pheromones’ worked between you two, but then again, he was merely just a human. Last night was weird and he couldn’t exactly say he liked it, as he slept alone again for the first time in a very long while, having to keep himself warm without you there being his little heater. 

The first night here was hard, but there was something about last night that was almost unbearable. 

He got little sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about you, and how you were dealing with sleeping without him these past two nights since you had never done so before, but then he realized you were probably perfectly fine - curled up beside Jungkook, sleeping peacefully with the other’s arms tightly around you. His arms were probably so tight because he was probably afraid someone would try to take you away from him in the middle of the night while you two slept.

Well, that was if you even got any sleep, did your fevers subside long enough for you to get some shut-eye? Or were you two at it all night?

Namjoon shook his head in mild disgust, trying to clear his mind of the unwanted images that started popping up and he looked out of the window, down at the pool where you and Jungkook were playing in the water together. He watched on, a strange sort of jealousy planted in his chest. Could he really not even get one moment alone with you? He just didn’t quite know how to cope with that - didn’t understand how Jungkook could be that possessive.

But again, he was just a human. How could he possibly understand?

Keep reading

[Sally and Paul are out of town for Sally’s book tour. Percy, having decided to invite the Seven and a few other friends over, is putting away anything likely to get broken. Jason, who arrived early, is helping.]

Jason(Gingerly examining what appears to be a very ugly ceramic blowfish): Is this what I think it is?

Percy(Glancing over over from the dresser): That? Yeah. You can just put it with the others.

Jason(Confused): The…

[Percy points to the closet. Giving Percy a strange look, Jason opens the door to discover shelf upon shelf of blowfish in every shape, size, hue and material imaginable. He takes a half step back]

Percy(Joining him): Kinda creepy, right?

Jason(At a loss for words): …why?

Percy(Taking the blowfish from Jason and adding it to the collection): I dunno, it’s just this weird thing Paul’s students do. Every year, his graduating class gives him a blowfish. You know- Blofis, Blowfish. It’s a tradition.

[Jason nods, but seems unable to look away. Percy stands next to him, surveying the blowfish armada]

Percy: …Honestly, I don’t even think he likes them.

[They are mercifully interrupted by Leo, who scrambles into the room, sparing three seconds of bewilderment on the blowfish closet before deciding he has more pressing matters to worry about]

Leo(Yanking Jason around by the shoulder to face him): Jason. Jason, bro, we kissed. She kissed me. Like ten minutes ago. In Percy parents’ bedroom.

Percy(Smacking Leo with a conveniently placed copy of Jane Eyre): Dude! Don’t make out in my parents’ bedroom, that’s disgusting!

Jason(Letting Percy attack Leo with Jane Eyre a few more times before separating them): I’d kind of figured you’d gotten past that already- all the ladies love Leo, right?

Leo(Eyes wide and fidgeting worse than usual): No, dude, shut up, I’m freaked out. I don’t… I don’t think I’m very good.

Jason: Good at-

Leo(Grabbing Jason by the shoulders again): At kissing! And I mean, Calypso’s done a lot more kissing than me over the years- like, even without the immortality thing. And with heroes. Heroes! Like, the legendary kind, with swords and muscles and social skills. The kind that probably knew how to kiss! I don’t want to suck so bad she dumps me! Girls dig you, I’m asking for advice!

Jason(Who has kissed exactly two girls in his life): Look, as far as I can tell, there’s two basic rules- one, don’t bite anything without permission, and two, the human tongue is like wasabi. It’s very powerful and should be used sparingly.

[Leo begins nodding, then freezes, staring at something beyond Jason’s shoulder. Percy, facing the same direction as Leo, gives a snort of laughter he hastily tries to disguise as a cough]

Jason(Closing his eyes): She’s standing right behind me, isn’t she?

Calypso(Mimicking Jason): “The human tongue is like wasabi!”

Jason: I don’t sound like that.

Percy: You kinda do.

Calypso(Sidling around to stand next to Leo, who is trying to sink into the floor): Actually, I think Leo’s tongue is like sunscreen. It’s good for your health and should be applied liberally.

Jason: I REALLY didn’t need to hear that. I really wish I could stop IMAGINING that.

Percy(Gravely): The idea itself is so offensive, that it’s actually illegal to say the words ‘Leo Valdez’s tongue’ on TV. 

Jason(Sagely): The penalty for violating that law is ten years in prison.

Percy: Or one Leo Valdez tongue bath.

Leo(Face in his hands): I hate you.

Jason: Everyone chooses prison.

Leo(Glaring through his fingers): I HATE YOU.

[Rolling her eyes, Calypso gently pries Leo’s hands from his face and kisses him. After a moment of hesitation Leo kisses back, putting his hands on her hips]

Percy: Oh gods. Oh, gods, I’m blind! I’m blind!

Jason(Severely): Please stop. You’re upsetting the blowfish.

NHL!Bitty, Pt. IV - RPF

@missweber requested NHL!Bitty dealing with Hockey RPF. This got a little longer than expected, with a side pairing of Jack/philly-cheesesteak. Takes place a few months into Bitty’s second season with the Schooners. 

Origin: From Samwell to SeattlePart I - Hug Check | Part II - Chirping | Part III - Post-Season




The most annoying thing is that for all of the ‘Jack/Parse’, ‘Jack/Tater’, ‘Jack/Sid’‘Jack/fucking-every-player-on-the-east-coast’ fic, there are a whopping SIX  ‘Jack/Eric’ fics on Ao3. Six.

On one hand, Eric’s proud they’ve hidden their relationship so well, on the other, Eric is insulted. But really, with their disappointing portmanteau of ‘Jeric’ or ‘Zittle’, it’s not surprising they’re horribly under-appreciated.

“I just wish my fans were more creative.”

Over Skype, Eric watches Jack plow through a Philly cheesesteak with no small measure of jealousy. He’s lonely and hungry, and his asshole boyfriend is doing this on purpose.

“You know,” Jack says, talking out of the side of his half-full mouth, “if you let the Schoons call you ‘Bitty’ our name could have been ‘Zimbits’. That’s kinda on you.”

Keep reading

Operation Cobra-Jughead Jones

Pairing: Jughead x reader
Description: reader is in love with Jughead. Jughead is with Betty.
Warnings: SAD SAD SAD ANGST I’m on my way to the hospital to take my mom and I was feeling this after seeing a spoiler from 1x06 sigh
THIS HAS 4,274 WORDS AND IT TOOK ME FOUR DAYS CAN YOU BELIEVE
—————————

I watched it happen from the very beginning. I noticed the very first time Jughead looked at her differently, the very first time he blushed when she complimented him, the very first time Jughead showed signs of jealousy when Trevor had asked her out. I watched it all unfold from the very beginning.
When Jughead told me he and Betty kissed, I did my best to be the extremely supportive best friend, convincing him to show the pretty blonde he was interested in her. When he did, I helped him plan the entire date out, from where to when, to picking his outfit out for him since he was absolutely helpless when it came to dating. I smoothed out the shoulders of his shirt, fixed his beanie, and sent him on his way.

That night, when he came back to my house to replay all the highlights of his date, he had a smile on his face almost the entire time. It was something I had only seen a handful of times, so even though my heart was breaking, I was still happy that something made him smile this big, even if it wasn’t with me.
When Jughead and Betty started dating, I began to slowly lose my best friend. He and Betty were always going together on the “super sleuth” cases, and I was hardly ever invited despite being the graphic designer and editor for The Blue and Gold. It didn’t bother me though, because I figured I would just see Jughead at Pop’s. I was wrong.

Jughead and Betty liked their alone time. They hardly ever invited us to hang out with them, and when we did, the rest of us felt like we were intruding. If I did have any alone time with Jug, his nose was in his phone, texting Betty the whole time. As supportive as I tried to be for the both of them, I was tired of pretending. All I ever did was pretend.

I walked in to the blue and gold after school, the room vacant. Jughead had probably waited for Betty outside of her history class so they could walk together to the newsroom; he used to do that with me all the time.
I sighed, sitting down at one of the seats in the room and pulling out my laptop. I set it on the desk and began designing the cover for this week’s newspaper.

Eventually, Jughead and Betty showed up, not even noticing I had been in the room. They were chatting about something, both blushing and bumping each other playfully. I mentally rolled my eyes and kept my nose in my laptop, not wanting to watch them be all lovey-dovey or whatever. A minute passed, which turned in to five, and then ten, and then fifteen, and by this time I was beyond upset. Neither had said a word to me at all.

I finished the designs for the paper and quietly closed my laptop, zipping open my bag and stuffing it in before lifting it over my shoulder. I stood up, my chair emitting a sharp noise as the heel of the object scraped against the old tile floor. Jughead and Betty’s heads turned at the sound, watching me push my chair back in.

“Oh my gosh, y/n! When did you come in?” Betty asked. I know she didn’t mean it in a rude way whatsoever, she was one of my best friends, but it angered me. Deciding to keep my anger bottled in, I acted like I didn’t hear her, making my way towards the door of the classroom. I walked out, making my way down the hall.

“Y/n! Wait!” Jughead called my name, and a hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me around.

“What’s wrong?” Jughead inquired, his hand sliding down my arm to go to my wrist. I yanked my body back lightly, looking at him in surprise and disgust.

What’s wrong?” I repeated, my tone of voice obviously showing signs of outrage at this point. “Jughead, if you don’t know what’s wrong right now, then I guess we aren’t as close as I thought we were.” I turned away from him, walking down the hallway again.

Jughead grabbed my shoulder again, turning me and grabbing my hand.
“Don’t say that.” Jughead spoke softly, his jaw clenching.

Really? Jughead, you did not notice I was in the room for fifteen minutes! You did not become aware of my presence in the slightest! And that isn’t even the first time!” I screamed, shoving him away from me harshly. Jughead stumbled back, frozen in shock by what I had just done.

“You don’t even care about me anymore! I don’t even exist to you!” My fingers dug in to my palms as I yelled at him.

“So yeah, we aren’t as close as I thought we were. In fact, I’ve never been farther apart from you.” I turned, walking away again.

“y/n!“ Jughead called my name and I stopped.

"Don’t, Jughead.” I cut him off, turning to face him one more time. “For somebody who claims to be an amazing observer, you sure are pretty damn oblivious.” I walked down the hallway of the empty school, turning a corner and making my way home.

——————————————————-

It was 5:39 when my phone rang, interrupting me from my moping over Jughead and Betty. I had stayed home from school the past few days, blaming it on how “sick” I had been feeling, which was bullshit, but only I knew it was bullshit. Or so I thought.

“Hey Ronnie.” I answered the phone.” Now’s not a good time- “

“Too fucking bad, princess. Get your ass up, I’m here.” I heard a knock at my door downstairs and Veronica hung up. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me, rubbing at my nose a bit to make it look red and grabbed a box of tissues. I wadded a couple up and threw them in the trash so my fake sick story would still be believable.

I padded downstairs slowly, hearing the incessant knocking and ringing of my doorbell. I took a deep breath before answering the door. There stood one of my best friends, hands on her hips and an irritated look on her face.

“Alright, time to stop moping and start moving on.” The black-haired girl stepped in to my house, closing the door and pointing upstairs.

“Who said I was moping?” I fired back, dragging myself up the stairs.

“Oh, come on y/n! You may be able to fool Archie, Betty, Jughead, and the rest of the entire world, but you can’t fool me. I know you aren’t sick, I know you and Jughead fought, I know you like Jughead. Its written all over you!” Veronica flung open the door to my room and marched to my closet, digging through it like a wild dog.” It’s kinda sick, actually. You look at him with literal heart eyes.Honestly, I would have gone for somebody a little more chiseled, but hey, we all got our own kinks- “

“Ronnie.” I cut off her incessant rambling, “Why are you knee-deep in my clothes?”

“Because, sweetheart.” Ronnie stuck her head out of my closet.” There’s a party tonight, and Jughead and my future wife are going, and we are going to show those two idiots who they really belong with.” Ronnie went back in to my closet, holding up numerous amounts of dresses, skirts, and eye-catching tops.

“Jughead is going to a party?” I queried, unconvinced.

“Yeah, it’s a thing with the cheerleaders at Cheryl’s, an Jughead is going to be the ‘supportive boyfriend’ or whatever.” Veronica scoffed at her own words, adding mocking quotations with her fingers before going back to digging in my closet.

“They’re probably going for more clues about Jason.” I mumbled, my mind drifting away a bit.

“For someone who only wears like, 4 outfits, you sure do have a lot of clothes.” Ronnie commented, pulling out a dress and examining it before hanging it back up.

“My mom tries.” I sighed, flopping back down on the bed.

“Oh, no you don’t. Get your happy ass up and get in the shower. You look terrible, which is weird for me, because you usually look incredibly fuckable.”

“Wow, thanks Ronnie.” I spat back, sarcasm laced in my tone. I got up and grabbed a towel from my drawer, walking in to my bathroom and taking a quick shower. I shaved my legs, as demanded instructed by my friend, and Ronnie did my makeup and hair, curling it and putting it up in a pretty half-do. I admired Ronnie’s work, hardly even being able to connect this me with the person that sat in my bed this morning, dark circles under her eyes and her hair in a knotty bun. She had also found a long sleeved black dress that came down to my knees, tucked away in my closet somewhere

Ronnie had brought over a dress for herself to change in to, and slipped on her shoes. She looked up and our eyes met in the mirror, a distressed look on my face.

“Listen, tonight is for us, okay?” Ronnie rested her hand on my shoulders, turning my chair so I faced her.” I’ve been sitting around and moping too, trust me, but we shouldn’t mope. We deserve so much better, alright? So, let’s just go out and have fun. We deserve that much, alright?” Ronnie held out her hand and I took it, pulling myself up and letting my arms go around her neck to embrace her. We both grabbed our purses and linked arms before walking down the stairs of my house and out my door.
——————————————————–
“Ronnie, I don’t think I can do this.” I stood at the front door of the house, my heart racing.” I really can’t do this.” I turned away from the building, wringing my hands out in front of me.” I’ve been doing it for so long, and I don’t think I can pretend any more, and- “

“Y/n!” Ronnie grabbed my hands, holing them in between hers.” You can do this, ok? You’re y/n freaking l/n!! You are one of the strongest women I know, and you are fierce! You can’t let Jughead, or Betty, or anyone get to you! Don’t let them ruin your moment, ok? Because you are looking hot as hell- “Ronnie lifted one of my hands, twirling me in front of her, and I giggled- “And I’ll be damned if I let you let them mess with that.” I hugged Ronnie tightly before she linked my arm with hers and we walked in to the Blossom mansion.

The music wasn’t too loud, which was a kind gesture for my sensitive ears. Cheryl had already roped together some kids for a game of spin the bottle, and I had spotted Archie, Betty, and Jughead near a corner of the room. Ronnie had already gotten me away from the sight, pulling me to the kitchen. I only grabbed a bottle of sweet tea, ignoring the alcohol that lined the counter. Veronica did as well, unsurprisingly. Veronica was a very old-school classy person. If she did drink, it was usually only one glass, and something very light, as I had found out one night that I had slept over at her house.

“There’s my girls!” Kevin wrapped each arm around Veronica and I’s shoulders. “Operation ‘avoid Jughead and Betty because they’re little whores who have been ignoring us to suck each other’s faces’ has commenced!” I laughed at Kevin, giving him a weird look for the name he had chosen.

“Lets just call it Operation Cobra, you know, for short.” Veronica suggested.The three of us made our way to the middle of the dance floor ignoring our other friends. It was obvious Veronica was laughing and talking at a bit of a higher volume, as well as being extra touchy and flirty to get the attention of our friends. I didn’t so much as glance at Jughead, because I knew that once I did, it was game over, and I would be running home and hiding under my covers.
After a little while, I went to find a quiet place in the house, wanting to be alone. Parties weren’t really my thing, so I didn’t understand why I even agreed to go, but to be fair I was having a nice time

I sat on Cheryl’s back porch, my legs swinging off the edge as I looked out at her backyard. The graveyard with all her relatives didn’t really help boost my happiness, but at least I had gotten away from the incessant bass drops the music was giving off.

“Thought you were sick.” I turned my head to see Jughead leaning against the wall, legs and arms both crossed. My heart started beating wildly and I felt a lump in my throat.

“Thought you didn’t like parties.” I retorted, turning my head back around to face away from him.

“Touché.” I felt Jughead’s presence as he sat down next to me, our thighs brushing together. For a couple minutes, I didn’t say anything, scared that if I did I would burst in to tears.

“You look really, uh, nice tonight.” Jughead looked me up and down and I raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, not that you don’t look nice all the time, because you do.” Jughead scratched the back of his neck.” Because you know, you’re really beautiful, but you already know that I think that, because you know, you’re my best friend, and uh… yeah.” Jughead looked away

“You know, I’m not a mind reader.” Jughead chuckled lightly. I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I did my best to ignore him, crossing my arms and keeping my gaze away from his.

“Look- “Jughead gulped audibly, hesitating before lifting his hand and resting it on my shoulder.” I don’t know what’s going through your head right now, or what you’re dealing with, but I’m here for you- “

Really? Are you really “here for me?” I shrugged his hand off my shoulder, moving to stand up. I was furious at this point.” Jughead, I have talked to you maybe a handful of times since you and Betty started dating! You have cancelled every single one of our plans since then! Every time we’re together working on the blue and gold, you and Betty hardly even notice I’m in the room! – “

My hands went to my temples as I slowly paced back and forth on the deck of the porch. Jughead now stood in front of me, one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans and the other running his hand down his face in a frustrated motion.

“And maybe I wouldn’t have been so angry about it, if you would have at least showed any sort of remorse, but you don’t! You don’t apologize, you don’t even text me in advance to let me know, you keep me sitting at Pop’s for hours, and you never even show up! I don’t even know why I still do it? What’s the point?” I began to walk past him but jughead held his arm out, stopping me from leaving. His hand grabbed my hip, turning me to face him.

“I’m sorry, y/n, I really am- “

“No you aren’t, Jughead! You aren’t sorry!” I pushed him away from me.” You aren’t sorry! If you were really ‘sorry’, you would have been there for me! You wouldn’t have skipped out on our plans! You wouldn’t have left me waiting all the time! Or you would have at least texted me to tell me you wouldn’t make it! Or even apologize!” I shoved my index finger against his chest, pushing him away from me once more.” But you don’t! You don’t apologize, or even feel any remorse about it, because all you care about is yourself! You don’t care about the consequences of the choices you make, because it doesn’t hurt you!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face as I ended my rant. Jughead had a shocked face on his look, as if he was surprised that I had just stood up for myself. I couldn’t blame him. All I ever did was let people use me as their personal door mat. I didn’t want to be that person anymore.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I do care about you, it’s just, I- “

“Save it, Jughead!” I shoved past him, running back in to the house and out the front door. I heard calls from my best friend and turned around to see Veronica and Kevin.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Veronica stood in front of me, blocking me from walking down the path towards the gate to leave Cheryl’s home. Her hands wrapped around my arms, stopping me from moving.” What’s wrong, what happened?”

“What do you think happened, Ronnie?” I spoke loudly, my hands moving wildly in front of me.” Jughead is an idiot! That’s what happened!” Kevin now stood beside Ronnie, and her hands went to my face, wiping away the tears. “I’m in love with a fucking idiot! That’s what happened!”

“I know sweetheart, I know.” Veronica hugged me tightly.

“He doesn’t care, Ronnie. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he hurt me, or anything. It doesn’t matter.” I moved to look at her again.” Why do I have to be in love with him? It could have been anybody else! Why him?”

“I don’t know, honey, he’s a jerk, I don’t know why he- “Ronnie cut herself off, staring off behind me. I turned around to see Jughead standing ten feet away, arms at his sides and his lips parted slightly.

“Did you say you’re in love with me?” Jughead looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for an answer. I shook my head, diving between Ronnie and Kevin and running towards the gate. Jughead began to follow me, but Kevin and Ronnie held him back, letting me slip away.
————————————————–
I was halfway down the trek to my house when I passed by the Riverdale park. I sighed, steering off the sidewalk and towards the big dome-shaped jungle gym. I was just going to mope at home anyways, so I wasn’t in a hurry to get there.

I dropped my heels to the ground next to me, swinging my purse over my shoulder and climbing up to the top. I sat down in the middle, the solid platform cold against my skin. I didn’t care though. I pulled out my phone, ignoring any notifications I had. I checked Instagram, scrolling through Jughead’s account. I switched over to Betty’s, seeing multiple photos of her and Jughead. I didn’t exactly know why I was forcing myself to look at these, but I was.

I shut my phone off, wrapping my arms around my body. I hadn’t brought a jacket, another thing to beat myself up over. I looked around the park, my eyes eventually catching someone else’s. Jughead.

“What are you doing up there?” Jughead looked up at me, his hands in his pockets.

“I like it up here.” I defended.

“Can you come down?” Jughead asked me.

“No.” I protested.

“Then I’m coming up.” Jughead sighed, beginning to climb the structure. I scrambled to grab my purse, trying to get off as fast as I could, but it was too late. Jughead had climbed up, grabbing the bars on each side of my body and hovering so my lower body was trapped under his. He looked up at me, his chest heaving from climbing up as fast as he could, mixed with the sting of the cold weather. Our breaths could be seen in the winter air, mixing with each other and disappearing. I stared at Jughead, waiting for him to say something.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh yeah, hold on. Let me ruin my closest friendship real quick by telling him I have super hardcore feelings for him when he’s dating someone else!” I spat sarcastically.

“Ok, that’s fair.”

“Whatever, Jughead, just let me out.” I started to shuffle under his body, planning to duck under his arm, but he blocked me, climbing farther up. We were now eye level, his face only inches from mine. Jughead stared at me, not saying anything.

“Are you gonna say something?” I asked him, my eyes flickering between his.

“I don’t know what to say.” Jughead admitted. I rolled my eyes, pushing him so I could get out from under him. Apparently, I had pushed too hard, because next thing I knew, the boy lost his balance, stumbling off the bars and falling in to the grass on his back. I gasped, shouting his name before climbing down quickly and jumping off the last few bars.

“Jughead! Are you ok!” Jughead groaned in response, sitting up and rubbing his head. I dropped on to my knees beside him, my shoulders on his hands.

“Peachy.” He answered sarcastically. I rolled my eyes, standing up and brushing the dirt off my dress.

“Whatever, I’m going home- “

“Did you know Veronica liked Betty?” I spun around, looking at Jughead.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I didn’t.” Jughead sighed, standing up. “And Veronica told her. Turns out, a big part of the reason Betty was dating me was to try and get over her, and convince herself she wasn’t gay. When Ronnie told her, she broke it off with me.” Jughead chuckled half-heartedly.

“Jug, I’m sorry.” Sympathy was laced in my voice. I stepped back toward him, patting his shoulder with my hand.

“It’s ok, really. I was dating her for kind of the same reason as well.” Jughead looked up at me, his eyes locking with mine.” You see, there’s this girl that I really like, and she’s been my best friend for quite a while.” My breath hitched in my throat, my hand leaving Jughead’s shoulder.” I’ve been kind of a shit friend to her, and I haven’t really been hanging out with her, more like avoiding her. It’s a really shitty thing to do, and I feel, like, really, really shitty about it.”

“Jughead, I, I can’t…” I turned back towards the dome jungle gym, walking towards my shoes. I felt Jughead’s hand on my shoulder and then my back was against the monkey bars, my body trapped by Jughead’s.

“I didn’t want to lose you.” Jughead admitted.” You’re everything to me, and I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. When I started dating Betty, I thought it would help me get over you, and then I could stop feeling the way I felt.” Jughead looked me in the eyes, his face no more than a few inches away from mine once again.” I watched what happened to my parents, and yours. They were just like us. They were best friends, and…” Jughead hung his head, cutting off his own words.

“Jughead.” I reached my hands up to cup his face, lifting his head to look at me.” We aren’t our parents, ok?” My thumb brushed against his cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen down his face. Jughead smiled, his eyes flickering down to my lips, and mine doing the same.

“I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too.” I laughed lightly, my arms wrapping around his neck. Jughead’s arms went to my waist, pulling me flush in to his body before he pressed his lips to mine. I sighed in to the kiss, feeling relief that Jughead felt the same way about me as I did him.

Jughead bit gently at my bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth as he broke the kiss. I giggled, burying my face in to the crook of Jughead’s neck.
—————————————————–
“I see my work did some justice.” I heard Ronnie call out. Jughead and I turned around on the sidewalk we had been on to see our friends.

“We have been looking everywhere for you guys! Where were you!” Archie called out, jogging towards us.

“Oh, you know, climbing jungle gyms, pushing Jughead off them, the usual.” I joked, looking up at Jughead. He smiled, rolling his eyes.
Ronnie and Betty walked up to us, hands held together.

“Hey, nothings gonna be… awkward, right?” Betty asked, looking at Jughead and I.

“No, Betts, everything’s good.” Jughead looked down at me, squeezing my hand.

“Ok, good.” Betty rested her hand on Jughead’s shoulder giving it a friendly squeeze before dropping it.

“Wait, so, you two?” Archie asked, looking at Ronnie and Betty, who nodded.

“And you two?” Archie looked at Jughead and I. Jughead nodded and I blushed, hiding in his side. Jughead wrapped an arm around my waist, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised.” Kevin shrugged, walking towards us.

“Hey, we’re all heading to Pop’s, you coming?” Archie asked Jug and I.

“Archibald Andrews, do you ever think I would turn down a burger and fries from our ever so famous chock-lit shoppe?” I put a hand over my chest in mock offense.

“Of course you and Jughead are together, why was I even surprised.” Archie rolled his eyes, walking away from us.

“That obvious, huh?” Jughead spoke aloud, looking down at me.

“Yep.”

Jealousy Games 02

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

Description: You decide to play a game of push and pull with your ex Jungkook, bringing Jimin along for the ride.

Pairing: JungkookxReaderxJimin

Genre: Smut (M)

Word Count: 6.2k

Index: 01, 02

Warnings: Jungkook’s POV, masturbation, dirty talk, voyeurism. 

A/N: Alright y’all. Here it is. After this chapter, we can officially head into everything @ellieljade and I have planned. You’re not ready, tbh. As always, thank you to Nicole for being my beta and soundboard. 

Enjoy~!

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Homestuck 4th of July Headcanons

John: brought those little popper things to throw at unsuspecting ppls feet. He is v frustrated to find that the trolls don’t jump at all bc they’re so used to hearing strange and sudden loud noises that this is baby shit to them. Of course, John simply takes this as a challenge to up the ante aka slip them into ppls shoes when they aren’t looking. “Hey uhhh Terezi why aren’t you wearing any shoes?” “I don’t know john, I just like to feel the earth beneath my humble feet”

Jade: lovesssss fireworks she found some old ones on her island once and tried setting them off but it was meh, these are so much better and everyone is here to share the experience with her! Helps Jane barbecue up some veggie burgers and some hot dogs for everyone and Definitely Does Not slip any of the scraps to the Becs. Nope. None. At all.

Dave: is decked head to toe in obnoxious USA gear. Has an American flag muscle shirt with an eagle dramatically superimposed in front of it. Has a head band with flags attached by boingy springs at the top. He is wearing red white and blue jorts and his regular sunglasses have been replaced by super shitty jpeg ones that spell USA. Karkat looks at him, utterly disgusted, and says Dave what the Fuck are you wearing. Dave. What the fuck. Also, those Strider boys sure do love sparklers because he and Dirk have All of the sparklers. All of Them.

Rose: as a light player, digs it. As someone who doesn’t want to be reminded of her land bc she didn’t complete her quest, not so much. But she has to be cool about it bc Kanaya has never seen fireworks before and fuck if she’s going to let her very Gay girlfriend, with whom she is in Lesbians, have her first fireworks soiled in ANY WAY. And if there’s a few fireworks that look like purple and green eldritch horrors,,,,it’s a coincidence. Maybe. Dave says hey rose uhh you didn’t have anything to do with those creepy as fuck looking ones did you. Rose flutters her lashes. Why, no Dave. Of course not. I have never ever done anything like that ever in my life ever. Smiles v sweetly.

Kanaya: first of all, is a little frustrated that apparently these “fireworks” are capable of multiple colors when they light up, but she’s not?? That doesn’t seem fair but whatever it’s Fine. Rose thinks she’s being sneaky about her anxiety around fireworks but Kanaya totally picks up on it and Very Subtly tries to comfort her. Ahem. Rose, I Understand That You Totally Do Not Feel Uncomfortable About This Situation, Wink Wink, But Allow Yourself To Feel Comforted By My Presence. Not That You Need It, Obviously. Your Human Emotions Are A Mystery To Me. (To those wondering if Kanaya winked physically or just said the word wink out loud, the answer is Yes).

Karkat: this is so stupid why do all the fireworks have colors. Where are the gray, nondescript fireworks. What if the fireworks don’t want everyone knowing their goddamn fucking business. “Dude, you might be overthinking this, they’re just fireworks” hey Fuck You, Dave, I don’t give a shit if they’re your MOTHER who I had HUMAN INTERCOURSE with last night even though she is SO MEDICALLY OVERWEIGHT. *whispering* (john did I do those “your human female ancestor” jokes right). John wipes away a single tear. Yes karkat, your “yo mama” jokes were great. They were perfect. I’m so proud.

Terezi: she absolutely did try to lick a sparkler. everyone watched, horrified, but she just sort of shrugged and went “meh”. She and Vriska are watching and feeling,,,a weird déjà vu kind of thing? Like maybe they’ve seen this before?

Jane: has been barbecuing up some good eats all day! She’s got veggie burgers for Roxy and Jade (and some snausages just in case), she’s got hamburgers for the trolls who actually prefer them as rare as possible because let’s face it, they’ve got the teeth of bloodthirsty carnivores. She has bratwurst for herself, hot dogs for Dave bc he’s a baby with no taste for fine food, and just a big assortment of stuff for everyone. Dirk helps cook and he’s got one of those weird anime girl aprons and it’s awkward for everyone involved.

Jake: burns himself on every single sparkler. every single one. Dagnabbit! These foolish things really are a trick to get going, aren’t they? Dirk just nods and agrees with him as he and Dave share nervous looks and hide their hordes of sparklers. Jake has successfully managed to burn every single finger and also a couple toes. Karkat laughs at him for being bad at this despite being unable to light any himself. They both receive pre lit sparklers and have a sparkler duel. It’s Bad. They smell like burnt hair for weeks after.

Dirk: Sparklers Georg, aka Dirk, who lights approximately 99,999 sparklers per celebration and is an outlier that should not have been counted, tells Jake uhhhh yes. They’re very tricky to light. You’re absolutely right and I am a Fool. He hides the 37 currently lit sparklers behind his back. Roxy begs him to put away his anime girl apron. Dirk. Dirk. Her titties. They’re so anatomically incorrect. You’re not even straight. Yes, he tells her. I know. That’s what makes it Ironic™. She throws her shoe at his head. John yells fuck! in the distance because there goes his secret poppers prank.

Roxy: definitely knew that john put the poppers in her shoes. Brought so many glow sticks and has to explain to Kanaya, no you can’t drink them. No I really don’t think that it will help you glow different colors. Please- oh god no. On the bright side, Kanaya’s tongue glows for the rest of the night. Watches the fireworks while sitting in a tree because Callie likes to feel tall.

Sollux: chills with Aradia in the back bc we all know that she loves to watch things blow up. Sollux kinda grumbles that it’s just a bunch of chemicals and science shit and it’s really not that impressive and I could probably do the same thing with my psiionics I’m just saying. Just putting that out there in case anyone wanted to know. Aradia smiles and pats his shoulder reassuringly. No one cares, Sollux. Just shut up and watch the fireworks.

Writing Is Hard

Summary: Dean finds the blog you use to read smutty fan fiction. And of course, he decides he can write a better story about himself. You help.

Warning: Smut, some dirty talk, mutual masturbation, all kinds of fan fiction clichés

Word Count: 4350

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And thanks to @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ for being a great beta and being generally flawless. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


No. This isn’t happening.

This is one of those moments you’d had weird nightmares about, dreams that left you embarrassed and feeling all icky the next day until you finally convinced yourself that it wasn’t real. And just like those moments, this one will end any second now. You’ll wake up in some motel bed, Dean will be in the next room with Sam, asleep or showering or eating or anything but standing over your laptop with that look on his face.

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hello i was really inspired by elsewhere university so i wrote what could be considered a first person account of a freshman? i hope you like it!!!

.

You apply to college because you know you’re supposed to. You’re not sure if you’re ready for it, though. In the past, your grades have fluctuated because you have executive dysfunction and also you never learned how to study. Smart kid problems, your dad always said.

You only apply to one college. If you don’t get in, you’re going to take a year off from school. You don’t really know what you’ll do, but you’ll figure it out. You apply to one of the most prestigious schools in the world: Elsewhere University.

Elsewhere University is a lot like any other university, from what you understand. You did your research. There’s weird rules, and there’s a whole blog dedicated to the culture surrounding that particular school. There’s something in each post that makes you think that there’s something the authors aren’t saying, but you never get a response when you ask in the comments or by emailing. One woman replied, but all she said was, “Be careful, but it’s a good school. I highly recommend it.”

You tried to find pass/fail rates of the school, but you can’t find anything. Apparently nobody fails out of Elsewhere university, only drops out or disappears. In fact, there’s a strangely high amount of disappearances from Elsewhere University that nobody seems to be making a fuss about. You almost regret applying when you learn about that.

Your best friend’s sister’s girlfriend graduated from Elsewhere U, so you ask your best friend to put you in contact with her. She does. Her sister’s girlfriend gives you a load of advice, and also highly recommends the school. She tells you that it’s an actual fact that nobody fails out of Elsewhere University, but that lots drop out or vanish. She says “vanish” a little wistfully, and you remember that time about five years ago when she’d vanished for a week, but then showed back up weirdly wiser and cleverer. You don’t ask about it.

Her advice consists of weird superstitions that she swears by: keep a bit of iron tucked away, carry some salt with you, and to carry candy and sweets with you. She doesn’t explain why, but you pack an old horseshoe, a container of salt, and your entire stash of candy.

She also gives you a list of rules.  

  1. Don’t eat anything they give you.
  2. Be polite to them.
  3. Don’t break any promises to them.
  4. Be careful making deals with them.
  5. Don’t say “I’m sorry,” say “Pardon me.” Also, don’t say “Thank you,” say “I appreciate it”
  6. Be nice to plants and animals.
  7. Feed the crows.

You have no idea what any of that means, but you know that you will soon. You thank her for her advice. It’s an easy job to type up the list of rules she gave you and turn it into your new background. You have trouble with social stuff, so having a list of rules is a godsend.

Your grandpa takes you down to your school. You don’t really know where it is, but his GPS knows where to go apparently. You have no idea how long the ride is. It feels like forever, and you start to worry about your fish. The GPS says you’ll be there in an hour. The GPS said you’d be there in an hour, an hour ago. You hope your betta fish will be okay. He’s been in his travel container for what feels like too long.

When you arrive, there’s a group of volunteers helping people like you move in. A team of three grabs up all of your stuff. You carry your fish and your newly acquired keys. The volunteer who signs you in warns you to keep track of your keys, that They can beep into the dorms and will raid your room for shiny stuff. You ask what she means. She shakes her head and calls you a freshie. You don’t ask again.

The three who help you take your stuff to your room give you advice. The girl tells you to stay away from the library and the dining hall at 3am. The boy tells you not to make deals at the point where two crosswalks create a crossroads in front of the Briggs building.

The person of indeterminate gender asks you what your major is, and when you tell them you’re thinking about creative writing, they tell you to be extremely careful and to never accept food from strangers under any circumstances and to be careful in even the dining hall and that if you can’t be absolutely sure that whoever is giving you food is human and to politely reject it otherwise and also don’t let the Fair Folk critique your stories because they’ll consider that a favor and you don’t want to owe them a favor and-

The girl hisses at them to shut up, that they’re scaring you. She’s not wrong. You want to hear more, though, so the person of indeterminate gender who tells you to call them Jules. You have a feeling that Jules isn’t their birth name. You tell them to call you by the nickname your friend gave you. They grin at you and say you’re already learning.

The trio leaves you in your room, alone. Your roommate isn’t here yet. You take the side of the room with the comfy chair, but leave them the good wardrobe. You feel like that’s a fair trade. It doesn’t take you long to unpack, and by the time your roommate shows up, all you’re doing is putting up your last poster (a Captain America “propaganda” poster).

She gives your poster a disgusted look. You say hello. She says hello back. She doesn’t thank the volunteers when they leave. She sets up her side of the room quickly, and complains about her wardrobe being slightly tilted. You point out that yours doesn’t close all the way. She scoffs, but quits complaining.

You never really get to like your roommate. She’s out all the time, she joins a sorority, and when she is in the room, her boyfriend is with her. Having him in the room makes you itch. He’s a nice guy, but something about him makes you dislike him instantly.

You stay polite, but when she vanishes, you aren’t really concerned. She’s often gone for a night or two. It’s only on the third night that you think you should probably report that she’s gone.

You knock on the RA’s door before your first class. She’s half asleep and tells you she’ll look into it, but that if your roommate shows up on her own to tell her. Oh and, she adds, if she comes back weird, be careful, Freshie.

Your roommate never comes back. Your RA shows up at your door after two weeks with a teary-eyed middle aged couple to pack her stuff up. You leave for the library with a thin excuse. You try to avoid the library, but it’s a good place to go when it’s nine at night and nothing is open except the student union. You already ate tonight, and going to the student union always makes you hungry, even when you’ve just eaten. The library is safer on your wallet.

You linger for an hour and a half. Half of your homework is done, including that essay you were sure would take you days to finish. You think you might come to the library more often after this.

When you return to your dorm, you pass by your RA’s open door. She said to leave the half of the room that isn’t yours empty, that you’d be getting a new roommate soon. You agree easily. You hope this next roommate is nicer than the last one. One of your classmates, who only goes by Elly, says that her roommate was replaced by something that looked just like them, but acted wrong. A junior hushed her, but it was enough to leave you thankful that your roommate had just vanished.

The next morning, you give one of the campus crows a slice of ham from your sandwich. It bows its head in thanks. It flies away after that. You decide to keep feeding the crows. You’ve always been superstitious, and it’s always good to have crows on your side, right? Your best friend’s sister’s girlfriend even said to feed the crows. Even if it’s just mumbo-jumbo, it can’t hurt, right?

You feed the crows. You go to class. You eat dinner in the dining hall, and only take food that’s being served by the workers who are clearly human. You don’t look at the shadowy figures when you go to your night class. You don’t speak to the cloaked figures you see at all times of the day, but you nod politely in passing. You never say thank you, or I’m sorry. You follow the rules, and when time comes that someone who doesn’t look quite right stops you at the crossed sidewalk in front of the O’Brien building, you carefully only offer a handful of candy in exchange for the study guide the stranger offers you. They happily accept the candy, and you happily go over your new guide.

You like Elsewhere University. Your classes are going great, you have a few friends, and you’re starting to understand what’s going on around campus.

You feel like you’re going to do just fine here.

Okay but...

Think of this, Lance having to put up so many masks that he loses sight of who he is.

I might be self projecting but coming from a really fuckin big family I have to throw up acts to suit certain family members or else I’d have to face them complaining to my parents (and thus getting the ruler/cane/umbrella/sometimes pens of dEATH) and/or just having to deal with their disappointment.

So since lance comes from a big family that’s what he does? And he does it so often that by the time he reaches the Garrison and later on joins Voltron everything is just a mask bc he doesn’t know what to think and doesn’t know who he is. But the team doesn’t know? Bc this is all they’ve known about lance and by now he’s so good at masking himself it’s almost like a second skin.

Ok then cue them going to an alien planet who’s been able to resist the Galra’s for sometime and they wanna make an alliance with the alien planet bc they could use the allies. But the aliens are really strict and they don’t take no funny business like flirting or whatever. So when they get to the planet they decide Lance might need to stay behind bc he’s an impulsive guy and might fuck things up. But it’d be weird if only one paladin was missing right? So it’s just Allura and Coran that go down to greet the alien race.

But the alien leader is unimpressed and is like “where is voltron how do we know you’re legit?” (More serious like but meh I’m too lazy fuck it). So they have no choice but to let Lance and the rest of voltron out of the castle. Everyone’s keeping an eye on Lance (and Keith kinda but moreso lance) but they’re so surprised when his entire attitude changes? He’s serious, answers questions eloquently and is standing like he’s some army soldier or something like that.

They’re all so surprised bc wtf Lance how are you so good at acting? But they have to put it out of their mind bc hello alliance and fighting Zarkon. The alliance is made successfully and they leave to which Lance just reverts back to his normal self but only after an hour after leaving the planet (bc from experience it takes time to dismantle one mask and then put on another)

Then during one of their calmer weeks where there isn’t much news or fighting, someone (pidge maybe?) offhandedly mentions how Lance acted during their stay on that planet. (And Lance isn’t there he’s doing his beauty guru stuff) And everyone is like “oh yeah wtf was up with that” and someone else just jokingly says “Lmao what if Lance is acting with us too?” And everyone’s laughing bc this is Lance and no way this is Lance we’re talking about.

Lance enters the room when someone makes that joke and he’s like “yeah I am” and everyone nervously laughs bc “haha yeah really funny Lance you’re just joking right?” And he just is so serious for once and “no I’m not”. Cue Long conversation on why he’d feel the need to put on a mask around them bc they’re family and Lance talking about his insecurities with the team and there’s crying and cuddles and everyone is talking about their internal problems bc “we need to get these off our chests anyways.”.
Shiro is afraid that he won’t be a good leader and will one day lead them to disaster.
Pidge is afraid she’ll never find her family and that she’ll one day lose them as well.
Keith is afraid of his heritage and one day just bringing the whole team down bc of that.
Hunk is afraid of not being able to protect the team properly.
Allura is afraid that they’ll never defeat Zarkon and that she might lose the team too.
Coran is afraid of losing the team, Allura everything. (And if you want for comedic effect Slav just appears and is like “I’m afraid of dying but this conversation has increased our chances of living by 67%! And there’s watery laughter as they pull Slav in for a hug too)

There’s more cuddles and the team wakes up the next day with disgusting crusty eyes and pillows that still have tear streaks on them. Everyone is grossed out bc someone (Hunk maybe lmao) drooled and there’s calls of “EWWW” mixed in with laughter and everyone feels lighter and mildly happier. And if for a moment just a small one, Lance feels a flicker of who he really is of the him without all the masks.

Of course not everything is fixed right away, when is it anyways? There’s still relapses where Lance pretends to be something he isn’t in reaction to a situation that he doesn’t know how to react to, and then there’s more cuddles and the team taking care of him. Sometimes Shiro dissolves into panic attacks, sometimes Keith just starts shouting for no reason, sometimes Pidge just starts sobbing when something reminds her of her family, sometimes Hunk’s screams can be heard throughout the castle as he has nightmares of his team dying bc he wasn’t able to save them, sometimes Allura overworks herself into exhaustion, sometimes Coran has to just constantly check on each member of the team every 5 minutes and he’s always nervous and scared when he does so. But the team is always there to help each other out, there’s bonding nights with huge cuddle piles, forts made from huge pillows and blankets, sad movies that end with sniffles or sobs, funny movies that end with people crying from laughter. They’re all a little broken but it’s okay bc the team will always be there.

And bc I’m a cruel bitch, imagine the teams reactions when Shiro disappears after all this happens :) and then when Lance is captured by Prince Lotor :)))))))

I love y'all don’t forget :)

(Reasoning why Lance would just admit he was acting: I’m probably self projecting again but tbh when I’m caught out and someone asks me if I’m just acting I don’t mind admitting it. Maybe subconsciously I know I’ve really lost myself and I might need the help so that’s why I admitted it. But also bc I don’t see the point in doing the whole cliche “w-what? No I’m not this is the real me” bullshit bc 100% of the time no one who actually cares about you will believe that, and Lance RECOGNISES that the team DOES care about him even though his lack of self esteem and overwhelming self doubt often makes him doubt that fact.)

(Also I’m really new to the Voltron fandom so I’m sorry if my writing is crappy and the characters are a little ooc pls forgive this child I’m trying my best)

(New edit: I also have a lot of really cool ideas on how to continue on from Shiro being missing so if y'all want me to continue just ask-)
Meet You Downstairs

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As Jack descends in the elevator to the basement, it strikes him that he never knew his condo building had a rental suite. Between his hockey commitments and hermit tendencies, there’s still a lot about his own home he doesn’t know despite living here for six years. It’s part of the reason he offered to help out around the building: to keep himself social during the summer season. His parents talked a lot about building a community of friends outside of work, and he knows his way around a toolbox so. Why not?

The basement is… really creepy, actually, reserved for the storage lockers and recycling bins. Even the parking garage is a level up and more inviting than this. There’s only one hallway so Jack follows it, certain he’s going the right way when he hears the voice through the wall.

“It’s fine, Mama. I know you wanted to help me pick out a place but this one is great. It’s in a nice neighbourhood, very secure… Yes, I got your pepper spray in the care package, but please, this is Providence, not New York City.”

Jack doesn’t mean to eavesdrop but he can’t help but notice how young this guy sounds. In a building where the average condo sells for over two million dollars, most of the neighbours he sees in the halls are retirees or working professionals. There aren’t many parties, which he appreciates.

He knocks on the cheap wooden door which rattles in the hinges. No wonder they’re renting this room out instead of selling, he thinks. There’s shuffling on the other side, and Jack hears the boy… man say “Goodness, I think the custodian is here already… of course I have pie who do you think I am? Call you back, love you.”

The door opens and there’s a lingering moment of silence as they each look at the person across from them. This guy looks to be a few years younger than Jack, a bit shorter, lean but with well-defined muscles he can see quite clearly thanks to him wearing the shortest shorts that could possibly be considered not-underwear. He’s staring. Oh boy, he’s staring and he needs to not be doing that so he drags his eyes up and they stall on the loose neckline of his tank top.  

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STRANGER THINGS SENTENCE MEME

episode 001-004.

  • ‘something’s coming. something hungry for blood.’
  • ‘wait a minute. did you hear that?’
  • ‘we’re in deep shit!’
  • ‘don’t be a pussy!’
  • ‘just twenty more minutes!’
  • 'yeah, she’s turning into a real jerk.’
  • ‘the cause of the power outage is still unknown.’
  • ‘he came home last night, right?’
  • ‘that’s disgusting.’
  • ‘do it, freak!’
  • ‘it’s like you have superpowers or something.’
  • ‘we just made out a couple times.’
  • ‘i’ll climb through your window. she won’t even know i’m there.’
  • ‘mornings are for coffee and contemplation.’
  • ‘he’s not like that. he wouldn’t do that.’
  • ‘the entire east wing will be evacuated within the hour.’
  • ‘she can’t have gone far.’
  • ‘you think you can steal from me, boy?!’
  • ‘this isn’t some lord of the rings book.’
  • ‘do i make myself clear?’
  • ‘is that why you ran away?’
  • ‘you gotta answer a few of my questions first.’
  • ‘all i know is that she’s scared to death.’
  • ‘you think we got a problem here?’
  • ‘we should be helping look for him.’
  • ‘i always had a distaste for science.’
  • ‘i always figured there was enough going on down here, i never needed to look elsewhere.’
  • ‘this is crazy.’
  • ‘smile looks good on you.’
  • ‘we’re not going back.’
  • ‘i know i haven’t been there for you.’
  • ‘i don’t even barely know what’s going on with you.’
  • ‘i should’ve been there for him.’
  • ‘this was not your fault.’
  • ‘do you guys hear that?’
  • ‘is that blood?’
  • ‘you’re freaking her out!’
  • ‘this is mental.’
  • ‘she’s probably a psycho.’
  • ‘and tomorrow night, we go back out.’
  • ‘hey, um… i never asked your name.’
  • ‘i can’t eat.’
  • ‘you can’t get like this, okay?’
  • ‘we’ve been waiting six hours.’
  • ‘we’ve been searching all night.’
  • ‘he was scared.’
  • ‘if he sees the cops, he’ll think he’s in trouble. he’ll hide.’
  • ‘he’s good at hiding.’
  • ‘cops are good at finding.’
  • ‘you’re in trouble, aren’t you?’
  • ‘they want to hurt you? the bad people?’
  • ‘just stay here, okay? stay here.’
  • ‘what do you say? are you in or out?’
  • ‘oh god… that’s depressing.’
  • ‘i just wanted to say, you know, um… i’m sorry about everything. everyone’s thinking about you.’
  • ‘he’s a smart kid.’
  • ‘all that matters is, after school, the freak will be back in the loony bin, and we can focus on what really matters.’
  • ‘pretty.’
  • ‘just trust me, okay?’
  • ‘i’m so sick of your excuses.’
  • ‘he’s not coming, is he?’
  • ‘you shouldn’t like things because people tell you you’re supposed to.’
  • ‘i don’t know where my boy is. he’s gone.’
  • ‘did you see him? last night? on the road?’
  • ‘i’m not mad at you.’
  • ‘is everything okay?’
  • ‘promise.’
  • ‘i need you alive for the next few days, at least.’
  • ‘missing kid, suicide… you must feel like a big city cop again, huh?’
  • ‘are you out of your mind?!’
  • ‘i think she knows what happened to him.’
  • ‘do you know where he is?!’
  • ‘stop it! you’re scaring her!’
  • ‘that boy was never very good at taking care of himself.’
  • ‘why am i just hearing about this?’
  • ‘it’d be super weird if i’m not there…’
  • ‘it’s just a loud noise. it’s okay.’
  • ‘they won’t tell anyone about you. they promise.’
  • ‘we wouldn’t have upset you if we knew you had superpowers.’
  • ‘what is “friend”?’
  • ‘you promised that you’d go.’
  • ‘we’re gonna have a great time.’
  • ‘he just wants to get into your pants…’
  • ‘make sure i don’t get drunk and do anything stupid.’
  • ‘you ever feel cursed?’
  • ‘hey, come back inside.’
  • ‘you are a cliché, you do realise that?’
  • ‘yeah, she’s smart, you douche!’
  • ‘you’re bleeding.’
  • ‘just go ahead and go home, okay?’
  • ‘jesus, you scared me!’
  • ‘i didn’t think it’d be a big deal.’
  • ‘you can talk to me.’
  • ‘nothing happened.’
  • ‘you need to stop this, okay?’
  • ‘people are looking for him and they’re going to find him.’
  • ‘can you just try and get some sleep? can you do that for me?’
  • ‘you seriously think that the weirdo knows where he is?’
  • ‘if there is something out there, i’m gonna shoot it in the eye - and blind it.’
  • ‘use your powers, okay?’
  • ‘if you get hungry, eat his snacks, okay?’
  • ‘i know the kid’s not in there, but i gotta check off this box.’
  • ‘no one breaks in here. certainly not some kid.’
  • ‘who’s in charge here?’
  • ‘science doesn’t make any damn sense to me.’
  • ‘i seriously have no idea who you’re talking about.’
  • ‘he’s in danger.’
  • ‘he’s dead.’
  • ‘i’m a dick.’
  • ‘he must really have something to hide.’
  • ‘yeah, this isn’t creepy at all.’
  • ‘this is called stalking.’
  • ‘that’s the thing about perverts. it’s hard-wired into them. you know, they just can’t help themselves.’
  • ‘maybe she freaked out when you went all psycho on the psycho.’
  • 'why did they hurt you?’
  • ‘friends tell the truth.’
  • ‘i understand.’
  • ‘tell me what to do.’
  • ‘i think something happened. something terrible.’
  • ‘this is CIA-sanctioned research.’
  • ‘i’m not saying that there’s some grand conspiracy. i’m just saying maybe something happened.’
  • ‘maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and he saw something that he shouldn’t have.’
  • ‘hiding.’
  • ‘don’t waste your time with her.’
  • ‘we are not calling the cops!’
  • ‘please tell me it’s not the kid.’
  • ‘you were supposed to help us find him alive.’
  • ‘why did you lie to us?’
  • ‘what is wrong with you?’
  • ‘whoever you found is not my boy.’
  • he was hiding from that thing.’
  • ‘you’ve gotta stop this…’
  • ‘you’re talking about grief.’
  • ‘i swear to you, i know what i saw. and i’m not crazy.’
  • ‘i’m not saying that you’re crazy.’
  • ‘i need you to believe me.’
  • ‘i want you to try and get some sleep, if you can.’
  • ‘can you please stop that?’
  • ‘i thought we were friends, you know? but friends tell each other the truth.’
  • ‘you hurt me.’
  • ‘are you sure you’re gonna be alright here by yourself?’
  • ‘screw his funeral!’
  • ‘yeah, okay, but why didn’t you just talk to me? that’s crazy.’
  • ‘i don’t know… i was scared.’
  • ‘my parents are gonna murder me!’
  • ‘this is not an okay time for you to shut down.’
  • ‘maybe he’s haunting us.’
  • ‘he’s out there somewhere. all we have to do is find him.’
  • ‘you look pretty good.’
  • ‘we just talked.’
  • ‘the troopers are on duty and you should be safe because we think this is just an isolated incident.’
  • ‘remember, if anyone sees us, look sad.’
  • ‘do you think you can open it?’
  • ‘abort.’
  • ‘she’s missing and something terrible happened to her. i know it! and no one is listening to me!’
  • ‘just leave me alone!’
  • ‘pull me out! pull me out!’
  • ‘what? who is interested in this? this is so stupid.’
  • ‘mouth-breather.’
  • ‘i think that’s a real messed up thing to do.’
  • ‘grief shows itself in funny ways.’
  • ‘i shouldn’t have come here today.’
  • ‘she’s smart. she’s real smart.’
  • so why are you lying to me, man?’
  • ‘what’s your problem, bud?’
  • ‘stick your nose someplace else.’
  • ‘thanks for ruining the game, dick.’
  • ‘you’re gonna get us both killed!’
  • ‘she’ll find him.’
  • ‘i need you to find him.’
  • ‘hurt him?’
  • ‘i i guess i’d rather observe people than, you know…’
  • ‘jesus, the hell happened?’

lockedinmybody  asked:

daliaaaaa could you tell me your fave sterek fics please?? :)

How could you ask me this? Do you have any idea how many sterek fics I’ve read over the years? How many I’ve loved?

This is a short list of the very few I could think of off the top of my head. I think I’ll probably make a recs page, because I’ve been meaning to for a long time. I have a recs tag, but that includes different pairings as well.


Sideways and Slantways and Longways and Backways

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!”
Derek raised an eyebrow at him.
“That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress.
Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.”

(Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

The Price

Stiles must surrender the most important thing in his life to protect the town… and no one can figure out what it was.

Around The Bend

The first time Derek catches sight of the new yoga instructor, Stiles is in the middle of showing a class how to do downward-facing dog. Derek walks into a wall.

Things don’t exactly improve from there.

Derek can’t stop staring at Stiles, the bendy new yoga instructor at his family’s gym. Stiles thinks Derek’s a repressed homophobe who hates Stiles for making him want the D. They fall in love.

can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful

“Be cool, Dad, we’ve decided to con Grandma.”

(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma’s and she gets the right wrong idea.)

Keep reading

@lumenlight prompted me, “Sterek AU where Stiles tries to seduce Derek but Derek has the habit of only dating older people (Jennifer, Kate …). So he says no to Stiles and Stiles is really disappointed but by chance he keeps seeing Derek and with time Derek realizes that he may have made a mistake?”

Hope you like it!! 

~4000 words, rated M. (I don’t usually write smut, but I felt like this was that kind of prompt.)

on ao3

Stiles usually doesn’t venture as far out of town as the Preserve—there’s not much out here but trees—but today that’s kind of the point. If he’s going to start up a jogging regimen to prep for lacrosse in the fall, he’s sure as hell not going to do it in his own neighborhood, where all his neighbors can (and will) watch him flailing around looking stupid.

He doesn’t actually end up jogging at all, though, because before he finds the trail he’d marked on his map, his Jeep abruptly sputters and dies on him right in the middle of the road. That’s also about when it starts raining.

“Oh, come on,” Stiles groans, hitting his head on the steering wheel a few times.

He pulls out his phone to call someone—his dad, a tow truck, Scott—and there’s no signal. Right. Because he wanted isolated, and he got it.

There’s no sound at all except the drumming of the rain on the roof of the Jeep, coming down harder and harder, taunting him for being such a fucking idiot.

He thinks about waiting it out, but who knows how long that could take, and if he doesn’t make it back home in time for dinner or at least get somewhere where he can make a phone call, then his dad is probably going to think he got eaten by a mountain lion or something.

“Fuck it,” he mutters. He pockets his phone and keys, grits his teeth, and jumps out into the downpour.

*

He has to walk for about twenty minutes before he finds any sign of civilization. It’s a house, or at least part of one. It’s tucked away down a long dirt driveway on the edge of the Preserve and looks sketchy as hell. It’s been burned, badly, and even though it looks like maybe someone’s been fixing it up, it’s still not exactly what Stiles would call habitable. Part of the charred roof is caved in, and most of the windows on the second floor are shattered, their jagged glass gleaming ominously in the dim light and the rain.

Stiles would assume it’s abandoned, except that there’s a shiny black Camaro parked out front. That at least looks well cared for.

It’s that detail, plus the rather compelling fact that this is probably the only house for at least a mile and Stiles can feel his feet starting to rub raw in his wet tennis shoes, that finally gives him the courage he needs to squelch his way through the mud and onto the porch to knock on the door.

Keep reading