this is uhm... yeah

tbh the only reason I look forward to my birthday anymore is because I get to update this fantasy I have of a future scenario when I’m 72 and have been a famous rock star for many decades. I sit at an interview for a tv-show and they start talking about how much sex I have. because everyone knows I get laid a lot, I boast all the time, they’re like “hey hanna, how do you keep up your libido at 72! everyone wants to know your secrets, so do I”. and the tabloids have been going crazy about how much I seem to be getting laid, in like the past week only!! I laugh along with the audience for a bit, wink confidently at the camera and slowly turn my head back to the host “well, funny you would ask that, daniel radcliffe, the truth is that it just comes with age for me! you know, I didn’t actually lose my virginity until I was //insert new age here//”. and daniel goes “what! I’d never have guessed that you lost it that late??”, cue the audience sounding very disbelieving.

and every birthday (so far) I get to update it to my new age. so yeah it’s a lot of fun

anuu-cheeki-breeki  asked:

All the questions 😈😈😈

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
I guess I would :p

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

4. Is trust a big issue for you?
Unfortunately, yes. 

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

6. What are you excited for?
When I’m done with school

7. What happened tonight?
nothing special, haha

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

9. Is confidence cute?
uhm, yeah (?)

10. What is the last beverage you had?

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
no one

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
of course

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
Probably play video games 

14. What are you going to spend money on next?
GTA V and headphones 

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
I don’t think so

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

18. The last time you felt broken?
everyday lol

19. Have you had sex today?
Unfortunately, not.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?
uhm, no

21. Are you in a good mood?
could be better tbh

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
No :’)

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

24. What do you want right this second?
playing BF and/or sex

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
Nothing, what shall I say? I would probably cry haha

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
no :p

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
idk, depends on how his character is

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
the “That’ll be you when I carry you to Victory” haha

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
Not right now I guess

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Depends on what he/she has done

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
noooooo, quite the reserve! 

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
“feelings” is so a strong word … let’s say the person I like, and idk if he knows :’)

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

34. Listening to?
Nothin right now 

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
in maths sometimes lol

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
I guess he’s home, idk man haha

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
uhmmm idk, maybe not love, but some little feelings

38. Who did you last call?
my best friend

39. Who was the last person you danced with?
I don’t even know when I danced the last time lol

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Idk, I had feelings for him I guess and the time was perfect

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
some month ago idk

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
Sure haha

44. Do you tan in the nude?
I don’t tan lol

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
no, why should I? 

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

47. Who was the last person to call you?
my sister

48. Do you sing in the shower?

49. Do you dance in the car?
I headbang in the car haha

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
“Portrait”, I had to take a picture for my driver’s license lmao

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
tf is wrong with some questions

53. Is Christmas stressful?
no, just annoying

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
I don’t care actually 

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
a stewardess

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
10000 times

59. Take a vitamin daily?

60. Wear slippers?

61. Wear a bath robe?

62. What do you wear to bed?
mostly underwear

63. First concert?
Rise Against, 2012

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
I’m from Europe lol

65. Nike or Adidas?
neither of them

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
Never heard of them

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds I guess

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

69. Ever take dance lessons?
no haha

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
I don’t really care

71. Can you curl your tongue?

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
No :’)

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes haha

74. What is your favorite book?
I don’t read lol

75. Do you study better with or without music?
Without, tbh :’)

76. Regularly burn incense?
what the thell

77. Ever been in love?
Of course

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
Metallica and System Of A Down

79. What was the last concert you saw?

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

81. Tea or coffee?

82. Favorite type of cookie?
I don’t have a favourite type 

83. Can you swim well?
idk if it’s well haha

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

85. Are you patient?
depends on what it is :’)

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

87. Ever won a contest?

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

89. Which are better black or green olives?
I fucking hate olives

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
it’s normal I guess

91. Best room for a fireplace?

92. Do you want to get married?
I don’t know yet

FINALLY, thank you! :) ♥

So … uhm … there were no bombs in Molly’s house.

What if she wouldn’t have picked up her phone?

That would have been SUCH an embarrassing moment for Eurus because she couldn’t kill her. What would she say? “Uhm … well … yeah, go to the next room, we try to call her later!”

A person who can predict terrorist attacks but didn’t consider THAT, lmao

Remember when I said that Paper Crane wasn’t a character that you should trust ? And that this tol bean is kinda dangerous ? You might have seen a drawing or two of this design on my tumblr… So uhm… here it is. Blaster!Crane form.

In that form Crane act rather feral and berserk which is actually a self-defense mechanism. As he doesn’t have any form of magic attack that he can use to defend himself, paper crane use the magic he stoked in his spark of determination to regurgitate it in form of pure light beam just like a gaster blaster.

So uhm… yeah… leaving this here, might turn this into a proper drawing because I love that quick sketch.

Art & Paper Crane© @little-noko


Voice mail: welcome to mobile answer from Telenor, please leave a message…

*phone call from DAD (Pappa)

I: hey

P: hey Isak. Hey, you. How are you? I just wanted to make sure that you’re coming Friday?

I: yeah, I’m coming Friday

P: that’s good

I: when did it start?

P: half past eight

I: yeah. Yes.

P: but hey, so nice that you’ve got a boyfriend!

I: I was just, I was just kidding.

P: oh. But then we’ll see each other on Friday. I’m looking forward to seeing you. And mom, too. Yeah. Yes, okay but, good!

I: dad? I wasn’t kidding. It’s just over. So, yeah.

P: okay. But are you sad about that or?

I: no, it’s fine.

P: okay. Uhm, good

I: yeah, yeah

P: then…

I: bye!

albus potter test? sort of? i guess?

Albus: I fell off my broom…again.

Albus: Landed on my face.


Rose: Hey, Albus, remember that time you liked VOLDEMORT’S daughter?

Albus: Rose, what are you even doing in the boys’ dormitory, didn’t you say you- oh, Scorpius, you’re back! how were your - erm, ancient runes?

Albus: You’ve got something on your face-

Albus: -er, sorry, didn’t mean to uhm yeah *coughs awkwardly*

(for @space-marauder also i swear i’ll do better, it was just a quick test)

Originally posted by harleyquinnandpuddin

Requested by @widowbitessting

Request: Hi :) never done one of these before but could you possibly do another Joker x Harley x Reader again? Where they’re their child? Erm, the child got taken away so they haven’t seen her in years and how they find her randomly is totally up to you :)

Warning: Just a long Imagine.

A/N: I kind of turned it so the Reader finds her parents because I couldn’t get this outta my head. 

Nervously you looked out of the car window of the taxi. The club seemed pretty crowed, people were still waiting in line to get in. 

“You sure, kid, you wanna be here?” The middle aged taxi driver, a dark skinned woman with a worried expression asked you. “That’s not a good place.”  

“Uhm, yeah.” You murmured more to yourself and gave her a small smile. “How much?” 


You gave the taxi driver the money and stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut. With a wave you turned around and walked up to the end of the line. You were too much of a chicken to ask the security to let you in.

“Your I.D.” The security man asked you when it was your turn. 

“Here.” You bit your lip when the bulky man scanned your I.D and then you, to confirm your identity. You were scared, the I.D was fake - your birth date changed to make you older. With a nod he gave you your I.D back and you made your way into the club, releasing a relieved breath.

The music was loud and boomed, flashy and drunk people were dancing and drinking while laughing over the music. Not a place you wanted to be, so you choose to question the bartender.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for a Harley Quinn and… the Joker?” You could have bitten your ass, you did sound so unsure and angsty. Like a little kid. But what could you have expected from yourself? Your parents had weird names and the pictures on the internet were pretty peculiar, let alone the frightening reputation they had. 

The bartender raised his pierced eyebrow perfectly. “What’cha want?” 

For a moment you faltered, thinking over what you should tell the bartender. “It’s uhm… important. Like really important.” Great.

“You’re not a negotiation partner?”

“Not really, no. But it’s really important.” You opened your bag and pulled out your purse, taking out all the money you have in it with a shaky hand. “Here. Around $50.” 

“Keep it, honey.” He shook his head in disbelieve. “Come.” 

“J., there’s a lady. She wants to talk to ya and Harley. Says it’s important.” 

The Joker groaned loudly but waved his hand to bring you into the area. Wary of your surroundings, you entered the lounge and stared at the man before you, how he sat confidentely on the couch, leaning on his cane, legs spread. 

The Joker looked exactly like on the pictures you had found on the internet. 

“I don’t know you.” His voice was calm, kind of deep and serious. “How old are you?” 

“Old enough.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like liars.”

Your breath hitched and your hands felt sweaty. “I’m seventeen.” 

“What does a kid like you want in a place like this?” 

“It’s complicated.”

The Joker started to cackle and leaned his head back “Miles, tell Harley we have a visitor.”  

Then, you were alone with him.

“Now, what do you really want?” His bright eyes unnerved you.

You opened your bag and pulled out a worn out file. “Some of the papers I found in my foster parents safe and some of them I got throught a friend from a hospital and so on.” You pushed the file over the table to him. 

He titled his hand and took the file, opening it and skimming through the papers. You were nervous, your legs were shaking.

“Puddin’!” You almost gasped when Harley busted in, smiling brightly at the Joker. 

“Come sit down.” The Joker ordered Harley without looking up, and she did how she was told. 

“Who’s that?” She smiled at you and you could see why they were a thing. They looked even weirder and more dangerous in real life. And crazier, so much crazier. 

“Why don’t you look for yourself.”  The Joker said, giving Harley the file. Finally he looked up, an strange expression gracing his face while your birth mother skimmed the file.  

“[Y/N]…”  Harley muttered. She looked up in disbelieve. “You’re our [Y/N]?”

You nodded, your voice gone. 

“It’s been years.” She suddenly teared up. “Where have you been? Who took you in? Where they good? Did they hurt you?”

“It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” The Joker said, leaning back, looking even more threatening with the mood shift. “Don’t we?”