this is ugly but i felt like posting it


More stuff I had forgotten.

Last year I wanted to try doing that scene redraw thing people do alot so I decided to screenshot Strange Magic and here ya go. I loved sketching this and I was super proud of it when I finished it. I mean, it’s still good but it’s not as “perfect” as I remember lol. I spend a lot of time drawing Bog King, not because it was difficult but because it was so much fun. Less details could’ve sufficed…

This is actually very good way to practice stuff, now that I think about it. I did sketch out more screenshots but I did them traditionally so I can’t add them here (My scanner sucks and I don’t feel like tweaking them for hours so they’ll look good). I still don’t do color.

@the Voltron Fandom

I know everyone’s having a lot of fun mocking the Shiro and Slav moments, but can we please stop and reflect critically on those moments and that character?

Because I’m really fucking tired of seeing my mental illness turned into a joke.

As someone who actually has OCD, I felt sick to my stomach every time Slav garnered annoyed reactions from the cast, and felt even worse when the narrative did nothing to condemn them for judging a character on “quirks” that mirrored a real-life mental illness. This has only been hammered in even more since the fandom started treating it like a really ugly meme.

So yeah, if we can treat Shiro’s PTSD with something approaching respect, can we please do the same regarding what is very clearly meant to be a bastardized version of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

Because I don’t feel safe anymore.

(Reblog if you can, please.)

Wth happened to the Batman series’ animation quality? How did their cartoons become so bad. Like, just look at these two different clips from the New Batman Adventures vs. Batman and Harley Quinn from this year. Animation is supposed to get better with new technology, not worse.

The classic animation has personality and everything flows well. Both Harley and Pam are expressive, likable and pleasing to look at (cute!!!!!!!!). The characters and backgrounds have clear volume and, I dunno, look like someone actually TRIED on them. Who would’ve thought.

The newest movie (MOVIE! Typically you expect better quality from a film) has boring animation, and the characters look stiff and flat. The expressions are poorly done and the lip-sync animation is off. The characters aren’t convincing at all. The colors are dull and ugly (Pam blends into the background, lol). The dialogue and fight scene are uninteresting. It’s almost like DC is only concerned with doing the bare minimum as cheaply as they can while making a profit (that’s exactly what they’ve been doing). The worst part is that it seems like they’re trying to emulate the old art style, but it’s just a cheap copy and UGH. It’s just… so bad.

It has always struck me that Billie possesses such power to create something beautiful out of ordinary, or even vapid or ugly, especially after I went to visit Christie Road in flesh. There’s literally NOTHING there, a little dirt road in a deserted land. It felt like the end of the world when I was walking along those tracks… such desolation and loneliness! Yet to him, it’s the one place that takes away his strains of being lonely and makes him feel like him again. It’s his escape, his paradise, his home. He turned such a forsaken and boring place into a poetic beautiful being. And it’s not the only time that he has done that. Just listen to Welcome To Paradise, which is quite self explanatory; Jesus of Suburbia - a story of runaway finds an echo in its listeners; and those common yet so striking images in Still Breathing… He sees those things, and then he lets us see it, too. Billie Joe truly is gift to us.

calliopexclio  asked:

A few weeks ago, you liked a post where someone asked my friend @chaoslaborantin why you included homophobia as a plot point. If you dont mind, could you answer the question asked yourself?

I included homophobia because Silvers in Norta are so blood oriented and preoccupied with their descendants and having powerful children. It made sense that, in the eyes of many, true LGBTQ+ relationships would be considered “wasteful”, especially in bloodlines like Evangeline’s. The relationships are tolerated but not properly. It’s an ugliness and while I hate it personally, it felt dishonest not to include it. And hopefully confront it as best as the story can.

A Message to you Sick Fucks

My little sister told me about her tumblr blog, and I purposefully avoided it for a long time. I didn’t want to look at it because of all the shit it started, but I guess I’m home from school and bored so finally I booted up her laptop and took a peek at this shitshow. Now that I have, I want to fucking puke. You people make me sick, and I want you to know just what you bullying motherfuckers did to a 17 year old.

What happened earlier this year has completely screwed up our family. Our mom is a nervous wreck, our dad looks like he’s aged 10 years since March. Adi was institutionalized after going into hysterics and trying to kill herself.

She’s still in the hospital, guys. They’re trying to diagnose her, but it’s hard because apparently some of the big stuff (personality disorders, etc) can’t be diagnosed till the person’s older.

I want to clarify to you people that Adi (it’s short for Adeline, by the way, not Adolf) is pretty autistic, and she’s always been really into WWII stuff. She started going on about kins last winter, and started insisting that it explained what she was feeling about the WWII era. Her birthday is the same as Hitler’s, and after getting into the kin stuff, she started to interpret it as a sign that she was a reincarnation. She started saying shit like that the reason she was so into WWII was because the time was “familiar” and stuff from that time gave her “kin feels.” She told me that she had to repent for the sins of her last life, and I’m going to be honest and say it scared the shit out of me when she said it.

Look, I’m not here to tell you that her acts are okay or normal. They’re clearly not. But I got onto this piece of shit website to tell you guys that you need to realize what the fuck you’re doing. 

I read through every single note in her mailbox here, and most of them were insane. I’m 22 and the number of notes I read that said some version of “kill yourself” or “you’re ugly and gross” made me sick. Honestly, I’m half tempted to post screencaps of the messages she got. Adi is emotionally unstable and barely 18. She doesn’t have social skills like other people do, and she has a hard time making friends. When she came here to try and make some, all you did was bully her to the point that she felt the only way she could “repent” was by killing herself.

I’ll admit there were some nice notes in there, too. Thank you so much to those of you who actually wrote kind things and words of advice to my sister. It really meant a lot to me to see that some people were so willing to help someone who was clearly having a hard time.

To the rest of you, I want every last single one of you cowards to lie awake at night knowing you almost killed someone.

I’m just writing this to say think before you fucking act, and consider that maybe the person you’re telling to kill themselves might be someone’s fucking sister or brother or son or daughter. I hope making a whole family suffer is worth your moral fucking outrage about what some dumb teenager wrote on the internet. 

I’d sign this post with my name, but It doesn’t matter. You fuckers don’t know me and you’d better hope we never meet. 

Today, I Learned a Lot

When I started shipping Outlaw Queen I felt like I had found a fandom of people who were nice, who seemed to be anti bullshit, who said nice things to me when I gave them compliments. Who told me they liked that I was bold and stood up for people who didn’t have a voice.

They made me feel like I was part of something, and I’ve never been much of a joiner, but I joined the OQ fandom, willingly. I reblogged posts, fan art, fan fiction, sent nice little asks…and then I slowly realized that I was pushing myself into a place where I didn’t belong. Still I brushed it off as insecurities, told myself “Chill out, they like you Dee-see they Reblog your posts, they respond to your nice words. You’re just tripping, these people like you. Don’t make such a big deal out of it”.

Today, I witnessed a very ugly side of fandom. There were people whom I have had lots of chats with, people whose fanfics I read and love, people who I felt respected me.

Today, those very people either bitched about my OQ post as if I couldn’t see it, unfollowed me on social media, or took slick shots about my OQ post on Twitter but didn’t have the guts to @ me.

They banded together…against me. Isn’t that funny? They downright ostracized me today. It’s like, the more people reblogged my Tumblr post the more people kept making post about how it was okay to not be over Robin being dead and how nobody has the right to make you feel otherwise.

Today, people that I respected very much, folks whom I thought would read my post and do what they always do-bring the peace, respect everyone’s opinion and keep it moving, didn’t do shit.

Today, those people in the Outlaw Queen fandom that I thought would help me, who I looked to, were silent.

I honestly expected more from OQ shippers. Today I was left to drown in a pool of my own blood.

The reaction I received today makes me feel even more confident in my post about OQ fans. It confirmed a LOT of what I said. They would rather defend themselves and how they feel then to actually listen to what I, a WOC have to say and how I feel.

I got whitesplained, Whitesplained about my own damn feelings 😂😂😂 the laughing emojis are to keep me from throwing my fucking phone because of how mad and disappointed I am.

At first, I felt bad for what I said; I even told my mom “I didn’t mean to start a war”. I was made to feel guilty for having a voice…no, no, no I was guilty for having an opinion that didn’t make people feel good about themselves or their ship.

As a result, I found myself in an apologetic mood even though all I did was spoke my mind. My anxiety was through the roof all damn day. I had shit to do today but I was so fucking distracted-on edge about who would say what and what other person would be condescendingly patronizing that I was unproductive as fuck. I literally laughed (and cried) as I imagined how many people wouldn’t bother to read, process, and then respond. Because I wrote that post last night at least 8 times or more. Because I didn’t wanna offend anybody. But then I was like “fuck it, you’ve been watching this shit go on for nearly 2 years; there’s no nice way for it to be said”

Granted what I said wasn’t in a nice manner, but I had been sitting on my issues/ feelings for a long time, a very long time. I was a ticking time bomb that blew up.

As I sit and look at the carnage of my own self destruction I sadly see that hardly anyone from my own ship stopped to help me, save a few people. I even had two of the biggest voices of OQ step in and say “respect Dee’s opinion and voice” and STILL people are over on twitter passively aggressively bitching about my post, or acting like it was a blip on their radar.

I got more support and understanding from people who detest Robin/OQ/Sean Maguire than the people who claim to love him and Regina and OQ so much. That’s ironic; they hate Robin but came to my defense.

I’ve got a mix of emotions running through me right now-numbness, shock, anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, bewilderment.

I honestly held OQ shippers in such high regard but today…I don’t even know if I’ll be able to even read another OQ fic, write another OQ fic because the disappointment hurts you guys, it hurts forreal.

It’s like finding out Santa Clause isn’t real (though I never believed in him but I can imagine this strange feeling is how little kids must feel).

What’s sad is that these people, these same people are still following me (well, some of them are) and they’re going about their day, still protecting their shipper status, still claiming to be allies and so progressive, but a Black girl from Alabama makes a post that challenges that position and everybody either loses their shit, becomes passive Aggressive or pretends not to notice what’s happening.

Today OQ fans, a ship mate jumped ship and y'all let her drown.

Y'all let ME drown; in fact y'all mothefuckers saw me jump off the ship and didn’t bother to stop me.


This was a valuable lesson, a sad but valuable lesson for me.

You OQ shippers have real deal left me without words…y'all can have Robin and Regina, I don’t want either of them at this point.

They’re not worth it and neither are y'all…

“You have a beautiful name...” (Tom Holland x Reader) P.2


“It’s a beautiful name…”

Cafe “Big Cake”
40 seconds ago:

“(Y/B/F), what the hell did you do? What are you smiling at?” You feel like you will pass away right now…
“Get ready, he is coming” Said (Y/B/F)!


“OMG, OMG, OMG what should I do now? What can I say… am I ugly? Did I fix up my hair? Ah God help me…” you feel so lost, you never felt this way before, your hands are shaking, the knees are shaking too. You feel like adrenaline is flowing through your blood…
It’s so bad… but it’s so cool! You know that your dream will come true right in 10 seconds… but what if something will go wrong? What if you say something stupid and it would be so awkward… you thought about it only in 8 seconds… the one thing you know for sure is that you will ever forget this… whatever will happen! And what about your…

“Hey”… You would never have confused this voice with someone else’s… it’s him! You feel something right inside your heart something that brings you suffer and happiness at the same time, something that we call love and affection!
“Hey” said (Y/B/F), “I’m (Y/B/F/N), nice to finally meet you” he wasn’t his fan at all… but you can see that he is really enjoying the situation, and you know for sure that it is because he knows that you need to do something now, but what?!
“Hey” said Tom again, he was waiting for you to react. He is right in your back you don’t see him, but you really want to see him even if you shy. (Y/B/F) sits right in front of you, Tom is behind you… and time is ticking, you still didn’t answer…
“Is everything okay (Y/N)” said (Y/B/F) with a smile on his face!
You looked into his eyes and made a look that says: “oh just wait, I will kill you later…”
And you finally turned around and saw him…
His hair is perfect as always, he wears a black tight shirt, his eyes are completely brown and you are just drowning into them, also you noticed that he looks right into your eyes too. Now everything doesn’t matter for you. Your every problem just gone. You feel like you can do whatever you want. You even forgot that (Y/B/F) is still sitting there with you. But he didn’t long to wait for himself…
He said “hey”… (Y/B/F), you and Tom are standing now… it’s a really short but still awkward silence…
”Let’s just sit, ha?” Said (Y/B/F) to both of you!
“Hey again, I’m Tom, Tom Holland” said Tom. He didn’t sit yet, so did you, he just smiles and looks at you, he is really affected by something, you don’t know what is that… or… you are just afraid to think that it’s because of you, ‘cause it’s stupid tho…
“Hi” said you, you was so scared that it even affected your voice, but he didn’t notice it.
“And you are…” said (Y/B/F) with a questionable and waiting face…
“What me?” Said you, you are still looking at Tom, you don’t care about what (Y/B/F) says…
“Your name! Don’t be so… just say your name please” said (Y/B/F) a little losing his temper..
“Oh Yeah, I’m… I’m (Y/N). It’s really so great to meet Tom Holland himself…” said you and it was like slap for you, ‘cause you feel scary and adrenaline again. It felt like you woke up…
“(Y/N)” replied Tom with a little affection, “You have a really beautiful name… and your dress is just amazing by the way…” he looked at your dress and in your eyes again.
“Thank you, you too” said you, then you got your mistake! “Oh I mean name, nor dress… of course not dress, you don’t wear it now… I mean you don’t wear it at all…” you just wanted to die right now because of shame…
You heard a quiet slap. It’s (Y/B/F) just did a facepalm
“I’m sorry” you said but then you noticed that he is smiling and it just relaxed you…
“Let’s finally sit…?” Said (Y/B/F).
“Yeah, of course” said Tom and sat on a chair
You sat too without saying a word. There is a little silence. Tom broke it:
“Thank you for the beer… I came just to thank you.” Said Tom with a smile, and you know he feel awkward so do you. But now you feel a little confused too: what beer?
“What?” You said a little confused…
“You ordered a beer for him, don’t you remember, (Y/N)” said (Y/B/F) and winked at you.
“Me? Oh yeah… Yeah I did, it’s nothing Tom, I know you like beer” you looked at Tom again, he is so amazing you think…
“So what are you doing here, in London? Are you alone?” Asked (Y/B/F)! Tom sits right on your right, (Y/B/F) sits in front of you and he looks at you then at Tom and then at you again…
“No, I’m here with Zendaya and Harrison…” said Tom and then completed: “Oh, I think you don’t know who they are…”
“Oh no, I definitely do, (Y/N) told me everything” said (Y/B/F).
“Really?” Asked Tom, he looks at you and it seems he is really surprised…
“No, no I didn’t” said you, it’s so shame you think… you looked at (Y/B/F) with I really mad look.
“…how you visit some hospitals worldwide, about your beautiful dog Tessa and…” but here you interrupted him:
“No I didn’t!!!” You almost screamed… now you feel completely dishonored.
“Oh, we have to go now, we gotta do that sing we were talking about, (Y/B/F).” You said, looked at (Y/B/F)with a very praying look…
“What thing? I don’t remember…” said (Y/B/F) he a little confused…
“THAT THING” said you in a very strict tone…
“Oh yeah, I remember” said (Y/B/F) with too much creativity.
“So bye then” said Tom more to you than to (Y/B/F), I hope we will meet again (Y/N).
You didn’t want to go but it was too dangerous to stay more… you said bye and left. Then (Y/B/F) came out if the cafe!
“How could you do that to me? OMG it was so awkward I was so stupid in front of him, he laughed at me” you said with a madness and sadness at the same time…
“You are wrong! Yeah he smiled, but it because you affected him, I saw everything and you stayed well!
You know what? I think I forgot my wallet when I paid for our order, I will come back in a minute…” said (Y/B/F) and left. You were standing on the other side of the street when (Y/B/F) came out…
Now you are on the way to home… you don’t talk too much, cause you are thinking a lot about everything that happened. Then you suddenly stoped and you felt really sad…
“What is that, (Y/N)” asked (Y/B/F).
“I just realized, I didn’t take a photo with him” said you almost cried. (Y/B/F) Just smiled, hanged you and said: “You will have the chance, I promise…”

To be continued…


I posted another picture elsewhere a few days ago and got hardly any notes and felt pretty badly, so I thought I’d try somewhere more relevant before I came to the conclusion that I’m just an ugly butt. Love this blog, by the way.

Sorry, I really like upside down pics, ahaha.–cat

Anon asked:

💞❤️rfa react to an MC who gets jealous very easily if you have time❤️💞

Of course! Sorry that this has taken so long! Klc and I were going through a bit of a slump. I guess we just pumped out so much content at first that we got a little burnt out. Then, I was in the middle of writing this and when I closed my laptop, the next time I opened it, all of my tabs had closed. I hope you understand. Regardless, we’re back, now. I hope you like this! Now, it’s going to be a collection of mini-fics, one for each character, so it’ll be under the cut~

그럼 고고씽~!

Keep reading

Open Letter To The Community

So recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts circulating of other members of the community saying things along the lines us “I’m not nearly as good looking as everyone else in the community” or “Compared to everyone else around here, I look ugly”.  I’ve also even had some people who have told me this directly in conversation, that they felt not good enough to be here, not attractive enough, or they just doubt themselves and feel intimidated to talk to people because of that.


ALL of us are here for ONE reason, a SINGLE reason we all know and have in common.

We all like tickling.  

Whether it be sexual or not, whether you consider it a fetish, kink, or just an interest/love, we are all here because we all love the same thing.  So we are all basically a community of nerds who made blogs so we can reach out and connect with others who feel the same way!  No one is better than anyone else, there’s no popularity system happening, there’s no cliques, we are literally all just a bunch of geeks who wanted to find a place to express their love for this thing we all love.

This community NEEDS you, ALL of you!  We are filled with people of all shapes, sizes, colors, sexualities, personalities, races, religions, mental illnesses….the list is endless, but we are such a beautiful place of acceptance for all of those things I’ve listed, and more and thats literally one of my favorite things about this place.  No matter what you look like, no matter how annoying you might think you are, there’s always a friend or a group of friends here that you click with because we are all such an amazingly accepting crowd.  

This community would most certainly not be at all what it is without all of you guys, its members.  Because all of us are so different, it makes it so much easier and fun when all of us come together and connect with each other here.  The fact that you look different or act different than other blogs is perfect and so more than welcome, and you’re what makes this community such an incredible place to be in. 

So please my lovelies, stop self-deprecating because you may not feel good enough to be here, or as good as another blog, but you so ARE and I WANT you here because seeing all of your little reblogs, posts, likes, and stuff make me so happy.  You MORE than deserve to be here because you’re you, you’re beautiful, you ARE good enough, and most importantly you’re unique, which is what makes this community so amazing to be a part of.  I’m honestly so honored to be a part of this family with each and every one of you here.  

-Abs xoxo

im trying to think of how to word some thoughts about fic as an outlet.

i made a post a week or two requesting some dark and messy prompts from people because i was, emotionally and mentally, fucking wrecked. feelings get ugly sometimes, you know? i felt poisonous inside.

some fics i write are a reflection of that ugliness. it’s not a transcription of impulses or anything, it’s just an attempt at…recreating or excising or otherwise exploring a sensation/emotion that i’m feeling, or have felt, or want to evoke. it’s like, here let me crack open my chest and air some of this shit out, because that is what fiction is good for.

that’s what bugs me so much about this moral cleansing of fandom. like. yes, sometimes i like things that aren’t pretty, or kind, or - god forbid - healthy. sometimes i write those things. and sometimes i write a fucking coffee shop au, you know?

and it’s so hard to explain or even talk about this, because from a certain perspective it just makes me sound defensive. but i’m so tired of having to measure parts of my identity against things that i write, about being made to feel like a bad person or lesbian or woman or role model for things that are like

yes, they’re ugly or problematic. sometimes they’re even abuse, although a lot of the time they’re fuckin not. that’s the point. they’re meant to be that way.

sometimes i write things that are supposed to feel uncomfortable because that’s something i want to explore, it’s something i want to dig my fingers into, it’s something i want to rip apart and piece back together.

idk man. im just tired.

Hey there, dorks. It’s me, ya girl.

Thoughts on the Philly Pride Flag

Bear with me for this one and if you are going to read this post at all, read it to the end because it’s a journey.

The other day, when Philly released the Pride Flag that included brown and black within the colors, I had mixed feelings. Why? because I was a little annoyed at first but didn’t want to share that because it felt like white privilege and I didn’t want to come off like that. I realize that in itself is a very “white privilege” thing to say…but in order to make my ultimate point, I have to be honest. Even about the ugly parts of myself/thought process. 

Basically I was confused about what to feel and even though it’s not wrong to have feelings, I wasn’t sure the ones I was having were right.

But then I did a little thinking. Why was I so annoyed? Well, taking a little trip down memory lane and looking at my own rainbow journey: for so long I rejected the flag, I tried to ignore that part of myself. And when I finally did accept myself, I still rejected the idea of “pride.” 

It wasn’t until two things happened that I came to love that part of the community and myself. First, I found out what the Pride flag meant: it didn’t mean pride in sleeping with other men (which is what my naive self thought at first) it meant pride in not being ashamed of yourself. Each color represented something specific: ( Red-Life, Orange-Healing, Yellow-Sunlight, Green-Nature, Blue-Serenity/Magic/Art,Violet-Spirit).

Secondly, I really finally just accepted myself and realized I wasn’t ashamed of any part of me. So now, every time I look at the flag, I get that feeling in my gut where I just want to scream at the world “I am not less than you, I am me and I am here, and get on board or get out of my way!” It’s become very motivational.

Then Philly goes and changes the flag. And after my personal issues, I thought that they were changing the meaning of the flag - adding those two colors, to me, made the flag about race - something it never was about. It already was an over arcing symbol of the entire community. Or so my white brain thought.

AND THEN, I started reading posts and articles that, instead of taking an aggressive “If you hate the new flag YOU’RE the problem” attitude (Seriously that is not the way to have a conversation), but citing personal examples. People of color being excluded from bars, the horribly common comment so many gay white men and women say: “I’m just not into black guys.” and how all this has the backdrop of the rainbow flag. So it never gave these LGBT men and women the feeling of pride it gave the rest of us…because of things we did.

So I started some research because, well, I like to know things (and then promptly forget about specifics a couple weeks later.) Basically, the pride flag has already changed over the years. First, there used to be hot pink at the top that represented Sex. That went away because, according to wikipedia, the fabric was no longer available. In that same flag were turquoise (for Magic/Art) and Indigo (For serenity) which were merged to Royal Blue because, apparently, when hung vertically one of the colors was blocked by another pole and this fixed that. Obviously these were VERY important and significant reasons to change the flag. (Please sense the sarcasm in that statement).

WHAM. Hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew exactly how to feel after reading those types of statements: PRIDE. The new colors were not about a specific race, they stood for diversity and inclusion. Something that, within a community that on a whole is marginalized, is sadly missing. This change was actually being done for an important reason. I looked at that flag again and my feelings of misgiving were gone and replaced with those feelings of pride I have looking at the 6 color flag from before. 

I also at first had a little shame over my initial thoughts. But that passed. Honestly, I needed to feel those things, I needed to not agree with it because I needed this little journey. I had to recognize the inherent racism within myself in order to address it and overcome it and realize it was part of a problem. I had to learn that about myself so I can, hopefully, become a part of the solution.

Now, my only issue is the order…the black and brown together look out of place, as an artist I feel the aesthetic of the flag would do better to have the brown and black split and on either side of the rest of the colors, kind of hugging the rest of flag in a warm embrace of inclusion. But, they didn’t ask me to design it so it is what it is.

So, now maybe I’m just being self-indulgent writing this post. But, you know what? It is my flag too and if it’s gonna change, I should be able to comment on it…have a conversation…and learn to accept it. And maybe this post will help someone accept it too.

Those are my thoughts.