Exo: referred to as gods by the future generation; they could release an album full of high pitched screaming and still would make the best selling kpop album; china line who?; we are 1 what?; korean members with chinese stage names; don’t let the satan near you; yehet, kkaebsong; give Sehun lines
Bts: from nowhere to everywhere; hyperactive kids making good music; kids with mental health issues doing vanalism; they look at you - you faint; shit down, beach - bitch?, ikskjuz miii; zoo; give Jin lines
Ikon: B.I, Bobby and friends; favoritism by yg; “the next bigbang”, but yg seems to forget about them so does the crowd; being hyped up then ending up disappointed; capable of doing good music but refuses to; give chanwoo lines
Got7: no mvs in the future just videos of them dabbing;
b side tracks always better than the titles; acrobatics until their neck breaks; not so creative fandom name; bamx2 is big; jaCSon, hard carry by Monsta x
Winner: searching for them - error404: nowhere to be found; somewhere in the yg building; Taehyun had enough shit, wants his own band, searching for members through tumblr; capable of being unique, yg aint letting them; let them break out
Day6: now 5live, nope, day8, members: sungjin, wonpil, dowoon, youngk, jae, chicken little, brian, younghyun; the one who has a stage name but seems like everyone is forgetting about it; dancing king; hashtag king; let dowoon sing
Astro: too much sugar in my eyes i can’t see; too pure for you; won’t ever do other than cute concepts; michael jackson; giant maknae; voice cracks for life; new generation of flower boys
Seventeen: too many; pledis has a thing for girly boys; pledis’ only income;
leg breaking choreos; adore u remakes as title tracks; no dark concepts in the future; sebeuntin; carrots, mounteen; slipping here and there; dino nugu aegi;
thughao, 10:10; divaboo; noone looks like suga; jeongcheol, meanie; give china line lines
Vixx: concept kings but kinda ran out of concepts;
oldschool kpop feel; from vixx ravi to solo ravi - full upgrade; one of the prettiest fandom names; endless leader bullying; serial killer; let the maknae line sing
Shinee: going strong since 2008;
people seem to pay less attention to them; taemin upgraded; weird fashion taste - key; cola cola; don’t sleep on them
Infinite: dope intros - give you chills; old kpop sound, unique sound;
scorpion dance, live singing + synchronized choreos;
dinosaur who’s laugh can be heard without a mic; endless leader and maknae bullying; saved woollim; give sungyeol and sungjong lines
Monsta x: future strippers;
stuck between hiphop and sexy concepts;
wtf is going on here mvs, gay mvs; cringiest fandom name; weird noises by the rapper; damn daniel; how to learn hungarian by changkyun;
abs, memes; ten years later: waiting for their first win; mosta x, moista x, monster x; give hyungwon lines;
Bigbang: legends; noone can dance, too lazy to dance; fashionistas; min hyorin; yg
B.a.p: started to rise - shit happened - nobody cares about them anymore; getting killed or killing others in mvs; unappreciated dancers and rappers; high notes for life; actual meaningful lyrics
Block b: zico and the boys; biggest weirdos of them all; no friendship just business; give jaehyo lines
Nct: taeyong and the boys; pouring salt at the wounds; mess of a
music; rotating as much that i can already see the tornado; dozens of units; horrible fashion; unnecessary ps; damn hoverboard skills; great vocals being hidden; johnny somehow managed to get out; let hansol free; give lines to everyone
Pentagon: putting them through an unnecessary scripted survival show to make people foget about some disbanded groups (4minute);
sm and yg let some gems slip out from their hands,
at least they are not in the dungeon;
giants and dwarfs;
lame jokes; ultrasound screams;
nudity; wooyu; yutoda; give shinwon lines
Btob: being forgotten by cube; weird, extra; slowly turning into a ballad group; is minhyuk a rapper?; give peniel lines
Beast: what is happening with u cube? shit happened;
new name - bea5t?; lost their spirit after shit happned; great lives
Suju: waiting for ot15; shit still happening; growing out of kpop; concepts don’t match their age; still waiting for kibum; don’t forget about zhoumi & henry; diaries of a married man; being succesful in the military
Nu’est: best debut song ever; had the most potential as a rookie group; pledis messed up; now they’re popular anywhere besides korea; getting worse and worse title songs; aesthetic mvs; creative fandom name; again pledis has a thing for girly boys
Ft Island: hongki and the others; awesome dope music (let’s not count puppy here); people don’t appreciate quality music anymore; this gem is lost in the ocean of cute, badass & hiphop concepts; pretty fandom name
Cnblue: another gem; better japanese releases; boring new songs because they have to fit into the kpop standard; yonghwa’s unique teeth; visuals; let the others sing
SF9: another group coming from a survival show; covering their seniors’ songs so they can’t even recognize them; thumbs up for the K.O choreography; don’t go with them to amusement parks; deep af voice maknae; park jimin 2.0; hwiyoung got them lines in roar
KNK: a bunch of idiots - literally; tall af; models af; old school kpop feels; if you hear someone laugh hysterically from afar it’s probably them; falling dramatically to the floor while doing so; choking sounds; don’t let them feed you; horlolololo; astro x knk; bullying sanha
2PM: definition of men; hella hot bodies; starting to be unknown; when was their latest first win?; manly concepts; awesome vocals; the rap is still meh; go crazy is a jam y’all; great actors
U-Kiss: so many member changes; lit songs, but not getting appreciation; don’t complain about your faves not getting 1st place like 2 months after debut - it took for them years; the first kpop fathers; they need a comeback soon
B1A4: great vocals again; don’t let them being forgotten; cnu just rocks the short hair admit it; baby i’m sorry is one of the best kpop songs; but great ballads as well
Teen top: they need to go back to their previous style; cap rocking them tattoos; hilariously funny group - watch their weekly idol; promoting as five now - anticipate their comeback
Everyone please note that i dont mean to offend neither the groups neither the fans. its just for fun and me being 100% sarcastic by these statements. i love and respect these groups with all my heart! sorry, its a bit long.
“My father never learned how to talk to people. Everything had to be his way. He hit me a lot. It got really ugly sometimes. It really fucked me up, man. The whole time I thought it was my fault. Maybe it’s nobody fault. Maybe that’s all he knew. Maybe his dad did that. I don’t know. But he put me into some crazy shit. I never talked about it. I’ve spent my whole life pretending like I’m stronger than I am. But I’ve got to forgive him somehow. Because I deserve some peace.”
-If you’re short》You being teased mercilessly; Picked up at random times; literally being smothered when you hug him ; being called cuTE all tHE tIME; SPINS ALL THE TIME
-If you’re tall》 marvelling at your beautiful long legs; no discrimination YOU’D ALSO BE CALLED CUTE ALL THE TIME; Seriously kookie would marvel at how elegant you looked; him being able to rest hishead on your shoulder,; KOOKIE SAID HE LIKES TALL GIRLS SO~~(i nEeD tO gROw)
- A lot of inside jokes… people just end up thinking you two are dumb beans -
- Dont forget all the meme dances #1 Dance couple
-You guys would probably end up uploading a video with all of your signature meme dances combined
if your not a fan of anime. you soon will be
SEXY TIMES (oH gOD nO)
-You’d probably have to initiate any kind of intimacy
-but once he feels comfortable with you –_-_-_-_-_-_ R.I.P YOU
-sERioUSLy- This boy would be a fuckin incubus once his shyness is gone
-kOoKiE tHe pErvErT iS bOrN
-You’d have to fence him off from you
-He wouldnt really be into public teasing because he’s a really private person
-if he decided to initiate it, he’d be fine
-A WHOLE LOT OF THIGH RIDING
-YOU BETTER WORSHIP THEM THIGHS
-You getting angry when he leaves visble hickeys but him still continuing
-You then plan on getting him back but then realise the massive sHit StOrm it would create so you back down
-instead you hide all his timberlands and replace all his white shirts with brony merch because you believe everyone should love my little pony
- He wouldnt really be into PDA especially in front of the members. it would be too embarrassing for him.. he stiLl sHY and the hyungs have no mercy
☆Overall kookie would be a fun and chill boyfriend, a bit sensitive as long as you’re okay with dishing out hugs and affirmations then there should be no problem☆
mon el is an ugly ass white fuckboy bitch who used to own slaves and misses objectifying women and throws a temper tantrum whenever things dont go his way or he’s faced w the reality that kara is a strong woman and doesnt need his selfish egoistical ass “protecting her” and i cant wait until he fucking dies probably choking on his own man-pain-guilt-tripping bullshit that makes all these dumbasses on this website wet their panties and run their mouths talking shit about characters that are clearly superior to that stupid fuckboy they love so much and thats the tea on that!
chat noir will
drape himself over ladybug’s lap during the downtime on their nightly patrols and
moan about how awful plagg is just for some head scratches from ladybug (let’s
be honest, plagg taught the kitty well; complain and receive cheese/ladybug)
they once spent
an afternoon atop the notre dame after an akuma attack critiquing civilian’s
fashion choices. both learned that their partner has excellent taste in fashion.
ladybug: “oh my
god is that a man bun? those things should be burned.”
chat noir: “who
the hell wears crocs anymore? they look like shit, and they make your feel
smell. god, shoes have three deciding factors: quality, price, and style. crocs
have the rare combination of being expensive, poor quality, and being ugly. it’s
quite a feat for one shoe to suck this much. i will judge anyone who wears crocs.”
ladybug uses chat noir as a mannequin to measure some of her designs during their downtime.
frequent arguments over akuma names because some are too stupid to say aloud. ladybug
believes in creativity and free will and vows to let the akumas keep the names
they declare themselves with. chat noir files petitions to change many of them
because he absolutely refuses to admit he nearly got beat by a Mr. Pigeon.
if ladybug and
chat noir are literally anywhere
together outside in public without an akuma, someone’ll always ask, “are you
two together? are you on a date?”. chat has to hold ladybug back from
stakeouts, chat noir sings “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and has gotten to 1
before, even though it usually ends up with him getting pitched off a roof.
morning, there was an akuma battle, and chat noir learned that ladybug has bad
bed head. he makes sure to keep a comb in his pocket now at all times for
whenever there’s an early battle, and ladybug doesn’t have time to fix her hair
before going to school. she doesn’t say it, but she’s really thankful. (also
really jealous because tikki, pockets,
give me pockets, god fucking damn it)
one time there
was a mermaid akuma in the seine and chat noir fell in the water and revealed
he couldn’t swim. ladybug saved him and made him take swimming lessons. nothing
beats coming to sunday morning swimming lessons and finding one of paris’s
famous superheros with floaties and a kick board.
you can bet your
ass that ladybug constantly makes “a cat to water” jokes every second she can.
ladybug keeps a
tally of how many puns chat noir makes. his gets to 162 in one night before she
sets a limit of 10 puns per day. he breaks it all the time and has to wear the
Collar of Shame™ for the rest of the day, which is black collar with a huge
pink bow. (ladybug thinks he secretly likes it).
actually hates ladybug’s puns and buys her the “Punning for Dummies” book for Christmas.
she gets him “31
Ways Not To Be A Douchebag”.
actually know how to use a real yo-yo. chat noir laughs for two weeks.
ladybug and chat
noir regularly attend movies as themselves because no one really knows why the
superheroes are going to the movies, but it probably means there’s an akuma or
something equally bad so let’s just not
go. it just means they get the best seats every time.
they’re really tired and stressed out, and ladybug is being bossy and chat noir
is fed up with hearing it, he’ll say, “okay, deborah” which causes her to pitch him off the eiffel tower.
chat noir can
never get into a hammock. he always flips over every time he tries to get on
one time ladybug
flubbed a back handspring, and the news stations got it live. chat noir plays
it on repeat for a week.
omfg so like you know how ppl say that Mark Antony and Cleopatra didn’t really love each other they were just using each other for power plays etc ? well it’s like u find evidence of their love in little things. for example Antony used to massage Cleopatra’s feet publicly at banquets. and it’s probably like ok so what I gave my girl head behind a mcdonalds etc but the thing is in that time for a man to show affection for a woman, and a “subservient” kind of affection like a foot massage in public meant a lot. esp bc Antony was Roman and Roman statesman were usually dried up ugly old senators who didn’t even hold their wives’ hands in public and Antony was doing this shit in front of his soldiers etc and then gossip spread to Rome and Octavian/ Augustus was telling every1 Antony is pussywhipped and whatnot but Antony didn’t care. ANYWAYS love is a foot massage at a luxurious banquet from Antony to his beautiful beloved Cleopatra I love it
this one time my two friends and i had an english assignment to write an essay about the tragic elements of julius caesar. boring, anyway, yeah, we finish our essays and we’re all hanging out the night before it’s due, and we remember that our teacher actually lives really close to my house??? like a minute walk tops. and one of my friends mentions this girl who used to hand in her assignments in envelopes with a wax seal and left them on the doorstep of her teacher. so in our tired, carbohydrate-addled brains we’re like “that’s a FUCKIGN good idea shit man we have got to fucknig do thta RIGHT NOW”.
so we dig around my jewelry box and find this UGLY ASS owl ring that i had stashed away somewhere and we’re like aw this is fuckin PERFECT. so we print our essays (yes all three, there were t h r e e of us who thought this was a good idea) and tuck them into this official looking manila envelope. we find this red candle and melt it down, right?? problem is, these wax seals that they used to use in medieval times and game of thrones episodes have SPECIAL fuckin wax that is made for that shit. we did not know that…at the time…ok, so we melt this wax and we pour it very carefully on the envelope, but because the envelope is flat on the ground it just runs halfway down the thing, just goes fuckign EVERYWHERE. we don’t give a SHIT, and we press that ugly fuckin owl ring in there. then, one of my friends is like “wow i’m gonna put my finger print in the wax” and then we fucking ALL do it, as if it’s not at all creepy to put your fingerprints in a wax seal that’s supposed to go to your teacher?? we write his last name on the envelope and take it w us, right, okay.
so at ELEVEN AT NIGHT, we walk over to my teacher’s house and the lights are all off and then we realize that this….,.,.is fuckin WEIRD AND CREEPY. yes. only THEN did we realize this. so we end up fuckin around in his driveway for a full five minutes contemplating who is ballsy enough to run up to his doorstep and drop off the envelope cause we weren’t sure if he had a motion activated light or not. then my friend GRABS that envelope and just rips to the door, drops it on the mat, runs back to us, says “go gogogogogogooggo fuckfyck” and we start RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD BACK TO MY HOUSE.
when we get there we realize how fuckin creepy it was, and we start freaking out. like we actually think we could be expelled for this odd shit (we were really tired and freaked out ok shut up) and so we try our best to forget about it and go to sleep. when we wake up, my friend has a text from her mother and it’s just a picture of a text she got from the teacher we submitted our essays to. so we start freaking out until we realize he’s written, “someone’s submitted their essay like a ninja in the night and i think it was your daughter and her two friends.”
so yeah anyway this is the story of how my teacher is the fcukgin coolest for not expelling me for putting a weird sketchy package on his doorstep nice
Unpopular opinion time: A lot of the hate Ayn Rand gets is because she was a womyn. The shit she says about self interest actually is very similar to other theories men have put forward and it is very telling that that is the thing she is most hated for. The number of “Ayn Rand hates children” jokes I see is just gross because like, when does a man ever get that shit? She is called rude, unemotional, ugly, unloving and basically a failed womyn by leftist men. And this is obvious misogyny? A million men advocate for the free market and of course Ayn Rand is the one that is hated because she was a womyn who interrupts men in interviews and advocates self interest!
At the end of the day a womyn advocating self interest and relationships based not on self sacrifice but on what you want and get fulfillment from is terrifying to leftist men because…well, what would that actually mean for womyn?
Pairing: Simon Dominic x Reader Warnings: ??? A/N: I started this months ago for a request but then things went left and I couldn’t write for a good month or so. Mianhae to whoever requested this story. I tried, yet failed.
Have you ever been backstage at an AOMG concert? No? Well, it is just as crazy as you can imagine. Someone will end up chasing someone or they’ll be arguing over something stupid and/or irrelevant. And please whatever you do, do NOT mention the NFL or the Seahawks. Unless you want to hear Jay go on and on about the strength behind the 12th man.
-Fuck okay so I saw the movie last night and fuck i didn’t think i’d be hype but it felt so right watching it!!!
-this is definitely scattered and poorly articulated compared to my review of ff7 but ill write a proper one in due time. I fucking miss paul
-ive seen every fuckin movie of this franchise in theaters n im only 23 ah these are my thoughts as i was watching it. I was lowkey keeping notes lmao
-beautiful setting and colors wow as always!!!
-FUCK as if charlize therons character wasnt annoying enough the fuckin bitch had to have dreads!!! Deadass bye
-GEEKED at roman coming in at 11 for most wanted criminals
-Roman lmfao he literally cracks me up so fucking much i love tyrese
-the Rock as a soccer daddy ifucking love it his daughter is so cute ugh
-DECKARD SHAW IS SUCH A DADDY oh my i love jason statham and his banter w the rock lmao
-digging all the gratuitous fight scenes and humor and explosions
-what are you gonna Email her? Lmfao roman is too much hahahah
-calling roman Slick lmao
-hobbs and shaw are both daddies fuck they can get it
-scott Eastwood FUCK ME UP i love how theyre giving him so much shit ahaha hes so fine though gotdamn
-The kisss!!! Fuck this dumb ass hacker Bitch
With ugly dreads
-Brian would know what to do… OMG SHOOK im crying i miss paul walker so much my mans
-omfg hes a fucking dad. Papa!!! HE HAS A KID W ELENA IM SHOOK AGAIN
-middle name marcos first name is for his father to name him!!! Bitch!! 😭😭I bet he calls the bb brian!! Just cus thats how dom and vin both would be. I’m crying
-god lmao hobbs’ Fuckin names for shaw and his damn one liners i can’t… callin him princess LOL
-themost recent movies have so much more comedic elements and honestly i live for it my theater was crackin up constantly in between all that anxiety if whats happening next!!!
-shaw in suits fuck me up statham is so fine
-ugh in ny!!! The music is always so lit!!! THE TOYSHOP DAYUM!!! Those sexy cars and sexy ass scott eastwood fuck
-are you Blanta? Lmao roman and that fuckin neon orange lambo
-oo shit doms got a plan yas!!! Helen mirren omfg!!! British woman so I assume this is mama shaw
-ok this banter now is just straight up Flirting between shaw and hobbs like theyd be so good together lmao
-ugh this Destruction i cant… imagine if that shit was real so many ppl would be dead god
-ugh charlize is a little cunt
-gotta admit tho putting those cars jn Auto drive was pretty freaking dope but crazy and the pileup. Shits wild if that could happen irl we’re fucked
-did i mention Eastwood is fucking sexy
-Lil nobody lost his lil mind hahaha
-BIG SEXI COMIN THRU
-Why didnt they just crash into him fuckkkk like instead of just tugging on his car from dif directions like ya dont hurt him but still
-Omg shaw WTF RIP I WAS JUST LOVING HIM ON THE TEAM IN SAD IM CRYING AND HOBBS IS UPSET
-DOM TURNIN HIS BACK ON LETTY IM HURT
-baby callin dom dada im cryjbg holy fuck this mf just shot mama OMG RIP ELENA IM PIST
-god charlize tryig to psycho analyze shit and just constantly spewing bs makes me wanna hjr her
-Tej n roman babter is my fav
-ah eastwood baby is on board fuck me. All Bets r off–Hahaha the fuckin orange car
-Roman" this aint for me man" hahaha he’s so fuckin funny they really made his character a bitchass i love it
-2 hacker bitches up against eachother lmao ramsey is gorge
-roman Reading russian HAGAHA such a goof
-LETTYs SUCH A BAD BITCH sent that fucker right into those blades.
-THERES NOTHING ALRIGHT ABOUT THIS LMAO honestly i’m roman
-Spinning in his lambo on ice and everyone just fucking with him hahaha
-WHAT IS GOIN ONHAHAHA as hes sliding with the fuckin door
-TYRESE HELL YA OMG FUCK YEA WHAT A COMEBACK. “NUMBER 11 MY ASS” HAHAH, whole theater is laughing
-OH MY GOD IMS CREAMING BOTH SHAWS ARE ALIVE AND BEAUTFUL MY DADDIES. LUKE EVANS IM SHOOK BABY SCARFACE LMAO IM CRYING I LIT UP WHEN THEY TOOK THEIR MASKS OFF
-SURPRISEEE… AHA FUK U CHARLIZE IM SO HYPE I HAVE CHILLS
-TEGO CALDERON and DON OMAR HELL YEAH EVEYTHING IS UNRAVELING I MISSED THEM IM CRYIN IM SO HAPPY RN
-DOMS WHOLE PLAN FUCK YEAH AND THE SHAWS IM SO HYPE
-MOMMA SHAW HELL YES AHAHAH DISCIPLING HER FUCKIN BOY “and ur gonna TAKE UR brother” “DEVILS BUNGHOLE” HAJAJA MOM it’s god’s eye. I LOVE THIS FAMILY. Spinoff please???
-IMCHEERING SO HARD MORALE IS SO HIGH
-FOR ELENA YAS DOM IS BACK BABY KNOCKED THAT FUCKER DEAD
-STATHAM W BB BEING AN ACTUALLY DADD IM CRYIN ALVIN N CHIP MUNKS YES AHAHA
-FIGHTing W BB OMFG DADDY YES, “its gonna be a lot of fun” i love him so much take me
-DOMS BACK I HAVE CHILLS YES
-LETTY SEEING DOM AND REALIZING HE’s back Im SOBBING i love them
-WHEres THAT SMILE? THERE IT IS!! OMG CUTE BABY AND SEXY DADDY DECKARD SHAW IM SHOOK
-Ur not gna wanna see this… *sniffs* is that u or him? HAHAHA i love him
-hobbs to roman: Yr u always yelli g hahaha this shit is so funny while even in the middle of action scenes
-Thats my girl!! Letty made it… ugh dom im just
-U lost the minute u interrupted honeymoon fuck ya bitch dont mess w familia
-“This is for my son” FUCK yasss
-The cars protecting dom im crying more
-Told u this would b fun hgh DADDY shaw pls
-DOM N LETTy FOREVER
-gotta get MY YUNG SELFIE LEVELS up I CANT Hahaha fucking roman
-FAMILY!! I LIVE FOR THE ENDINGS AND THE HUGE FAMILY GET TOGETHERS IM CRYING I MISS PAUL WALKER SO MUCH
-ELENA UGH im sad
-INTRODUCing letty to the baby im dead
-WHAT IS HIS NAME WTF???
-Okay EVERYONE MEET….BRIAN… IM CRYING
-I FUCKING KNEW IT BUT IT STILL GOT ME I WAS LEGIT SOBBING THEN THAT FUCKIN KEHLANIGEAZY SONG CAME ON AND IDK I STARTED CRYING MORE. BABY BRIAN FUCK IM SO EMOTIONAL
-I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH I WILL BE 80 and still watching these movies as long as they keep putting them out omfg i just love them all i miss paul walker and brian and jordana brewster but this was a really good addition it did not disappoint even tho i hate the title lmao
-i appreciate u if u read this whole thing lets b friends
OKOKOK SO ITS TAKEN ME AGES TO FIND EVERYTHING I’D DISCUSSED WITH SOMEONE REGARDING THIS AU BUT I FOUND THEM SO IM ANSWERING THIS NOW!! IK ITS SUPER LATE AND IM SORRY BUT AAAA
ok so the first thing is that we’re gonna completely disregard the typical “yurio’s in like 4th grade and ADORES yuuri as his teacher” because yall can just miss me w that, and instead have a high school english teacher yuuri who puts up with NONE of yurio’s shit. he doesn’t wanna participate? too bad. tries to argue? not having it. eventually yuuri doesn’t even need to say anything. to any of his students. they just receive The Look and that’s the end of it.
now because yurio is yurio, victor - who’s his older brother and legal guardian - gets his ears talked off about “my stupid fucking english teacher”, which causes victor to get this massive image of yuuri beings this mean old bastard who hates children and yurio especially (maybe yurio’s trans?? yall decide) and he becomes both pissed and terrified of this teacher.
dont get me wrong tho, yuuri is a mad Professional (except around his senior class. they’ve seen a different side of mr katsuki…) but victor’s still TERRIFIED of meeting him.
eventually, though, he has to. parent teacher interviews are next thursday, so unfortunately, victor’s going to have to face the music and meet this teacher. and he is shitting himself. thursday rolls around, and victor’s got a million thoughts running through his head - what will i hear? am i gonna like it?? DD: - and yurio isn’t helping boost his confidence much (in australia the student also attends the interview so im going off of that) because he knows deep down that yuuri isn’t that bad.
and if he knows victor, he knows what’s gonna happen next.
so they’re standing out the front of the classroom. the door is locked. they can’t hear anything from the inside. they look at each other.
and victor slowly reaches up to knock.
iMMEDIATELY falls in love because yuuri katsuki is SO FUCKING ADORABLE. victor was honest to god expecting a crockety old 60 y/o man and he gets Booty-licious Japanese Man who is the DEFINITION of nice and polite. he is an ANGEL. THIS MAN LITERALLY OFFERS THEM A CUP OF TEA BEFORE THEY START.
so victor and yurio sit down, tea placed in front of them, but victor still doesn’t know what to expect. he’s been completely thrown off guard by yuuri (who’s wearing pants that cling to his ass and thighs in THE MOST PERFECT WAY POSSIBLE and his button up is so ugly and. honestly victor cannot believe this man is real) but yurio’s shitting himself in the corner because he has no idea what’s about to be said, and yuuri has no fuckin clue what to do but he’s just like “umm… okay… let’s get started”
and as i said before, yuuri isn’t an easy teacher. he’s nice and courteous, but you don’t disrespect him and the effort he puts into his career. you just don’t! he doesn’t take shit from Anyone. he’ll offer you a hot beverage when you come into the parent teacher interview and he always ensures that the students are fed before they start a class, but if you try to argue with him (WITHOUT REASON) he will DESTROY YOU.
once they’re all settled in, yuuri pretty much breaks the ice with “so i first wanted to talk about yuri’s behaviour” and LET ME TELL YOU.
ALL. HELL. BREAKS. LOOSE.
victor’s like “oh god”. yurio’s like “oh GOD”. yuuri just continues talking. and yknow, he goes on to say how yurio has some issues with participating and stubbornness - and, at times, respect - but then he’s like “but when he does participate? mr nikiforov, yuri has a brilliant mind on him.
“his answers are honestly some of the smartest i hear. he has a keen mind for the work we’re doing and his understanding of concepts is phenomenal. sure, he tends to swear a lot in his answers - which” and he turns to yurio at this “he really needs to stop - but the guts of his answers are simply fantastic.”
and victor’s not really processing this because although he came in not knowing what to expect, he knew he wasn’t expecting that. so he turns to yurio and probably whacks him upside the head or smth in a typical older brother fashion and says “yurio!! you told me he was mean!! wtf!!!”
and yeah. that interview is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
(ALTERNATIVELY: victor goes into the interview ready to tear a bitch apart and gets his ass handed to him. he starts telling yuuri off about the way he supposedly singles yurio out and constantly gives him detentions, forces him to participate, and essentially bullies yurio into answering questions
and he kinda goes on for a while like that but eventually he asks yuuri what he has to say for himself and… yurio actually full on slides himself down in his seat because the look on yuuri’s fuckin face?? it says it all.
he then proceeds to COMPLETELY DRAG VICTOR.
////IM SORRY EVERYONE THAT THIS WAS SO LONG AAAAAA I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS DUMB AU DESPITE IT////
Summary: Soulmates are supposed to be a wonderful thing, that is until you find out who your soulmate is. You guessed it, Lance “The Fucker” Tucker.
Pairing: Lance x Reader
A/N: I bet you all look really beautiful today :)
Reality comes back to Hope and she screeches. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“What do I do?” you slap your palm on your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut.
“Is this a joke? Am I getting Punk’d?” she questioned and you scowl, although she couldn’t see your face through the phone.
“No you’re not fucking getting Punk’d, dumbass.” you grit, trying to keep your voice down so that Lance wouldn’t hear you.
You hear Hope scoff on the other end. “I can’t believe he’s actually your soulmate. How fucked up is that?”
“Laugh about it later. Right now I need to know what to do because at the moment Lance is in my kitchen.”
Her joking tone turned serious. “Why is that dickwad in your kitchen? Oh god Y/N did you guys fuck?”
“No! God Hope, I have self respect for myself, you do realize that, right?” your friend was being unbearable.
“That guy has some mad skills. One minute you can be talking about something as innocent as a kids birthday party and the next, you’re fucking. He’s smooth as hell.” she tells you and you sigh.
“Yeah, well I won’t make the same mistake that you did.”
“I was young and dumb Y/N. Stop holding my past against me.” Hope says in a casual tone.
“I don’t! This is probably the third time I’ve ever brought it up since meeting you! You’re the one who always brings it up!” you defend.
“Yeah, yeah. Listen, just go out there, look him in the eyes and say get out of my fucking house you sex addicted freak. He’ll be gone just like that.” you can practically see her shrugging.
“I’m not doing that Hope, I’m a nice person.”
Hope sighs loudly. “I don’t know what to tell you, Y/N.”
“There has to be a reason as to why he’s my soulmate, Hope. Maybe he’s not as bad as you make him out to be.” your voice lowered towards the end and you shut your eyes, knowing Hope would start yelling at you.
“I’ve experienced what it’s like to be with Lance head on! I know what kind of asshole he can be. He breaks hearts and doesn’t care, Y/N! He’ll do the same damn thing to you and I won’t allow my best friend to get hurt from some scum bag who doesn’t have feelings!” she shouts and at one point you have to take the phone away from your ear.
“Hope, there has to be a reason that above everyone else, he’s my soulmate! We’re destined to be together!” you argue
“That soulmate stuff is bullshit.”
“Say that in front of Ben.” you challenge and she goes silent. “ Exactly.”
“He’s an asshole.” she reminds you.
“You just say that because he fucked you over and he’s been cruel to you since you got all the attention despite only winning the bronze.” you roll your eyes.
“He’s mean to Ben!”
“Hope, you’re mean to Ben.”
“Yeah but I’m allowed to be mean to him.”
Another eye roll. It goes silent on both your eyes as you process everything that has happened in the last 20 minutes. Lance is your soulmate. You share every cut, every scar, every injury, every… Tattoo.
“Hope, I gotta go.”
“What? No, where-” you end the call and toss your phone onto your bed then storm out into the kitchen, startling Lance when was leaning against the counter, sipping his cup of water.
He stands up straight upon seeing you. “Hey, what ha-”
“You selfish asshole!” you shout, coming chest to chest with him. Lance is confused. “I can’t believe how inconsiderate you are! You knew damn well that you had a soulmate and you knew damn well that I’d feel every single thing you felt!”
“What are you talking about?” was he being serious?
“I’m talking about you getting that god awful gold medal tattoo!” you shout. “Do you not know how ugly that shit is?! I hate taking showers, I hate looking at myself in the mirror and I can’t fucking have sex with anyone because that stupid tattoo is so god damn embarrassing!”
Lance smirks. You didn’t expect that reaction. “Shit, you have it too? Lemme see..” he leans forward, reaching for your pants but you swat his hand away, glaring at the tall, dark haired man.
“Oh baby,” he rests his weight on the counter again. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You look at him with disgust plastered on your face before turning your back to him. “Get out of my apartment.”
Now when girls would tell Lance to get out of their house, he’d be out the door before she could even finish her sentence. But with you, it was different. He wanted to stay with you, he didn’t want to go. Just being in your presence comforted him no matter if you were angry with him or not.
“Y/N, wait, no, I didn’t mean-”
“I said get out, Lance.” you snap, turning back to look at him. “Maybe it’s a good idea if we just stay away from each other. You didn’t want anything to do with me before, there shouldn’t be a difference now.”
Lance thought back to all the times you’d try to contact him with a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ and he’d respond with a ‘fuck you’ or ‘leave me the hell alone’
“I’m sorry.” the cocky, asshole Lance from before was replaced with this Lance. He was genuinely sorry.
“Just leave please.” you sigh, not daring to look up from the floor.
Lance, defeated, let out a puff of air before complying to your wish. He looked at you once more before shutting the front door behind him.
A/N: Sorry it’s kind of short. Tell me what ya think :)
“But maybe everyone’s a little bit ugly. Yeah, maybe we’re all just ugly, dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it’ll take is one person to just be okay with that and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.”
date a boy that shows his appreciation of you through more than just the way he hugs your hips and kisses your neck. date date a boy that allows you to have your own space.
date a boy that prefers your perfume mixed with his on his clothes.
date a boy that doesn’t care if there’s hair on your legs or not.
date a boy that will hold your hair back when you’ve stayed up all night sick.
date a boy who will laugh when there’s food stuck to your face and he requests that he gets it off for you.
date a boy that isn’t offended when you call him out on his shit, because it will make him a better man.
date a boy who wants to be a better man, for himself, for you, and for others.
date a boy that fucks up and accept the fact that he was wrong.
date a boy that will be strong willed to love you just as much as he wants to fuck you.
date a boy who isn’t afraid of the ‘sticky’ or 'dirty situations’ or the bad verses the ugly.
date a boy that sees a galaxy greater than himself in you, like there’s a connection between two universes the second you meet.
date a boy that doesn’t run away because he’s afraid but rather intertwines fingers with yours just to kiss your hand.
date a boy that never regrets you and tells you everyday as many times as you need to hear it that he loves you with all your might.
date a boy that even after he has you and commits to you, never stops treating you like your his majesty, queen.
because that’s what an amazing girl like you deserves. and nothing less. keep your chin up, he’s coming. I promise.
Isn't Yuuri just the most lovely, beautiful man to be alive *romantic sigh*
Nah man he ugly as fuck.
*Flips a table, commits mass murder, goes on rage mode, even Yuuri can't stop him*
NOW LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE GRUMPY SHIT I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT YUURI KATSUKI IS A FUCKING ETHREAL CREATURE AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT. DID I MARRY YOU? NO, BECAUSE YUURI FUCKING KATSUKI WILL ALWAYS BE HOTTER THAN YOUR RUSSIAN FAIRY ASS.
*looks up from texting Otabek and wasn't listening* Huh?
*Touched by his husband but also scared for his life and psychologically scarred.*
When you are a fangirl and a shipper, you take ever freaking scrap you can to piece your ship together.
When I hear McCree’s line ‘Reach for the Sky’ I ALWAYS think of Hanzo’s SORA skin (which, as you guessed it, translates ‘SKY’ from japanese), and I really want to explore other similarities or ‘coincedences’ of their lines and skins more. (i plan to do the White Husbands one, the Mystery man and Young Hanzo skins too. just need to get my shit together)
like isn't henrik holm dating a minor? and his agency said they want him for a trans woman role, like trans actresses don't exist? i dont see anyone dragging his ass for that shit, but i forgot he's white, prolly won't ever happen
mate ….. its gonna get real ugly real fast if we’re gonna start keeping score of everytime the actors fuck up and use it against them, against one another.
i love the cast, i love them all, the boys and the girls. the older ones and the younger ones. they’re still kids, and they’ve still got a shit tonne to learn. at 21, i’ve still got so much to learn, so these teenagers? man, they’ve still got the world to see and experiences still to live yet, some which will be hella ugly, through which they’ll learn.
they are not their characters that i can project my anger on. they are not fiction. they are real life people just like i am, just like you are. they do good stuff, they do bad stuff. they make good choices, they make bad choices. when it comes to their personal lives and choices, i don’t care too much bc that’s THEIR life. not mine. they make those choices, not me.