Exo: referred to as gods by the future generation; they could release an album full of high pitched screaming and still would make the best selling kpop album; china line who?; we are 1 what?; korean members with chinese stage names; don’t let the satan near you; yehet, kkaebsong; give Sehun lines
Bts: from nowhere to everywhere; hyperactive kids making good music; kids with mental health issues doing vanalism; they look at you - you faint; shit down, beach - bitch?, ikskjuz miii; zoo; give Jin lines
Ikon: B.I, Bobby and friends; favoritism by yg; “the next bigbang”, but yg seems to forget about them so does the crowd; being hyped up then ending up disappointed; capable of doing good music but refuses to; give chanwoo lines
Got7: no mvs in the future just videos of them dabbing;
b side tracks always better than the titles; acrobatics until their neck breaks; not so creative fandom name; bamx2 is big; jaCSon, hard carry by Monsta x
Winner: searching for them - error404: nowhere to be found; somewhere in the yg building; Taehyun had enough shit, wants his own band, searching for members through tumblr; capable of being unique, yg aint letting them; let them break out
Day6: now 5live, nope, day8, members: sungjin, wonpil, dowoon, youngk, jae, chicken little, brian, younghyun; the one who has a stage name but seems like everyone is forgetting about it; dancing king; hashtag king; let dowoon sing
Astro: too much sugar in my eyes i can’t see; too pure for you; won’t ever do other than cute concepts; michael jackson; giant maknae; voice cracks for life; new generation of flower boys
Seventeen: too many; pledis has a thing for girly boys; pledis’ only income;
leg breaking choreos; adore u remakes as title tracks; no dark concepts in the future; sebeuntin; carrots, mounteen; slipping here and there; dino nugu aegi;
thughao, 10:10; divaboo; noone looks like suga; jeongcheol, meanie; give china line lines
Vixx: concept kings but kinda ran out of concepts;
oldschool kpop feel; from vixx ravi to solo ravi - full upgrade; one of the prettiest fandom names; endless leader bullying; serial killer; let the maknae line sing
Shinee: going strong since 2008;
people seem to pay less attention to them; taemin upgraded; weird fashion taste - key; cola cola; don’t sleep on them
Infinite: dope intros - give you chills; old kpop sound, unique sound;
scorpion dance, live singing + synchronized choreos;
dinosaur who’s laugh can be heard without a mic; endless leader and maknae bullying; saved woollim; give sungyeol and sungjong lines
Monsta x: future strippers;
stuck between hiphop and sexy concepts;
wtf is going on here mvs, gay mvs; cringiest fandom name; weird noises by the rapper; damn daniel; how to learn hungarian by changkyun;
abs, memes; ten years later: waiting for their first win; mosta x, moista x, monster x; give hyungwon lines;
Bigbang: legends; noone can dance, too lazy to dance; fashionistas; min hyorin; yg
B.a.p: started to rise - shit happened - nobody cares about them anymore; getting killed or killing others in mvs; unappreciated dancers and rappers; high notes for life; actual meaningful lyrics
Block b: zico and the boys; biggest weirdos of them all; no friendship just business; give jaehyo lines
Nct: taeyong and the boys; pouring salt at the wounds; mess of a
music; rotating as much that i can already see the tornado; dozens of units; horrible fashion; unnecessary ps; damn hoverboard skills; great vocals being hidden; johnny somehow managed to get out; let hansol free; give lines to everyone
Pentagon: putting them through an unnecessary scripted survival show to make people foget about some disbanded groups (4minute);
sm and yg let some gems slip out from their hands,
at least they are not in the dungeon;
giants and dwarfs;
lame jokes; ultrasound screams;
nudity; wooyu; yutoda; give shinwon lines
Btob: being forgotten by cube; weird, extra; slowly turning into a ballad group; is minhyuk a rapper?; give peniel lines
Beast: what is happening with u cube? shit happened;
new name - bea5t?; lost their spirit after shit happned; great lives
Suju: waiting for ot15; shit still happening; growing out of kpop; concepts don’t match their age; still waiting for kibum; don’t forget about zhoumi & henry; diaries of a married man; being succesful in the military
Nu’est: best debut song ever; had the most potential as a rookie group; pledis messed up; now they’re popular anywhere besides korea; getting worse and worse title songs; aesthetic mvs; creative fandom name; again pledis has a thing for girly boys
Ft Island: hongki and the others; awesome dope music (let’s not count puppy here); people don’t appreciate quality music anymore; this gem is lost in the ocean of cute, badass & hiphop concepts; pretty fandom name
Cnblue: another gem; better japanese releases; boring new songs because they have to fit into the kpop standard; yonghwa’s unique teeth; visuals; let the others sing
SF9: another group coming from a survival show; covering their seniors’ songs so they can’t even recognize them; thumbs up for the K.O choreography; don’t go with them to amusement parks; deep af voice maknae; park jimin 2.0; hwiyoung got them lines in roar
KNK: a bunch of idiots - literally; tall af; models af; old school kpop feels; if you hear someone laugh hysterically from afar it’s probably them; falling dramatically to the floor while doing so; choking sounds; don’t let them feed you; horlolololo; astro x knk; bullying sanha
2PM: definition of men; hella hot bodies; starting to be unknown; when was their latest first win?; manly concepts; awesome vocals; the rap is still meh; go crazy is a jam y’all; great actors
U-Kiss: so many member changes; lit songs, but not getting appreciation; don’t complain about your faves not getting 1st place like 2 months after debut - it took for them years; the first kpop fathers; they need a comeback soon
B1A4: great vocals again; don’t let them being forgotten; cnu just rocks the short hair admit it; baby i’m sorry is one of the best kpop songs; but great ballads as well
Teen top: they need to go back to their previous style; cap rocking them tattoos; hilariously funny group - watch their weekly idol; promoting as five now - anticipate their comeback
Wanna One: what even is this name; salty af that Jonghyun and Samuel are NOT in the 11; Never is still my jam; i’m not lookung forward for cute concepts; god 10 year age gap between the oldest and youngest member; still salty some trainess weren’t even in top 20 *cough* hwanwoong *cough* taehyun *cough* gunhee* *cough*; some great inventors (round clap, jeojang, etc.) and psychos and a lot more.
Everyone please note that i dont mean to offend neither the groups neither the fans. its just for fun and me being 100% sarcastic by these statements. i love and respect these groups with all my heart! sorry, its a bit long.
-If you’re short》You being teased mercilessly; Picked up at random times; literally being smothered when you hug him ; being called cuTE all tHE tIME; SPINS ALL THE TIME
-If you’re tall》 marvelling at your beautiful long legs; no discrimination YOU’D ALSO BE CALLED CUTE ALL THE TIME; Seriously kookie would marvel at how elegant you looked; him being able to rest hishead on your shoulder,; KOOKIE SAID HE LIKES TALL GIRLS SO~~(i nEeD tO gROw)
- A lot of inside jokes… people just end up thinking you two are dumb beans -
- Dont forget all the meme dances #1 Dance couple
-You guys would probably end up uploading a video with all of your signature meme dances combined
if your not a fan of anime. you soon will be
SEXY TIMES (oH gOD nO)
-You’d probably have to initiate any kind of intimacy
-but once he feels comfortable with you –_-_-_-_-_-_ R.I.P YOU
-sERioUSLy- This boy would be a fuckin incubus once his shyness is gone
-kOoKiE tHe pErvErT iS bOrN
-You’d have to fence him off from you
-He wouldnt really be into public teasing because he’s a really private person
-if he decided to initiate it, he’d be fine
-A WHOLE LOT OF THIGH RIDING
-YOU BETTER WORSHIP THEM THIGHS
-You getting angry when he leaves visble hickeys but him still continuing
-You then plan on getting him back but then realise the massive sHit StOrm it would create so you back down
-instead you hide all his timberlands and replace all his white shirts with brony merch because you believe everyone should love my little pony
- He wouldnt really be into PDA especially in front of the members. it would be too embarrassing for him.. he stiLl sHY and the hyungs have no mercy
☆Overall kookie would be a fun and chill boyfriend, a bit sensitive as long as you’re okay with dishing out hugs and affirmations then there should be no problem☆
“My father never learned how to talk to people. Everything had to be his way. He hit me a lot. It got really ugly sometimes. It really fucked me up, man. The whole time I thought it was my fault. Maybe it’s nobody fault. Maybe that’s all he knew. Maybe his dad did that. I don’t know. But he put me into some crazy shit. I never talked about it. I’ve spent my whole life pretending like I’m stronger than I am. But I’ve got to forgive him somehow. Because I deserve some peace.”
Never been in a fight but I want to fight
Fight a bitch at night
The dark is cool
Wanna destroy everything
Just woke up messy hair
Attitude I don’t care
Should i even get up and start the day
Does it matter if i do shit anyway
Thought, thought, thought,
I thought if I thought a lot
Maybe my thoughts could learn to stop
I feel my brain beginning to rot
They are so fucking loud
Up and down
I’m starting to look like a fucking clown
What am I feeling right now?
I feel like a drifting cloud
Full of storm water
Today rain is all I’ve got to offer
What’s wrong with me?
Changing tides like the sea
I can be a deadly storm
Or calm and cool, my bottom lurking with things unseen
I love the way you fuck me
Baby this is how you want me, thirsty
I beg love me love me
Love me more than i love you
At night i feel so ugly
But not you, youre alive not dead
I hear all the voices that go on it your head
They never calm but you find peace in them
Taking their words of wisdom
They sing inside your lovely mind
You hum along, intertwined
I’m sitting in front of the man of my dreams
Love his dick, give me that cream
His face is amazing, it makes me want to sing
His voice is as lovely spring
Sometimes I think I see god
But then I open my eyes and it’s the same shit all around
Breath in the toxins of a cigarette
It’s all I got sometimes, wanna drown out the sound
Talk to a few and that’s fun
But real quick im done
If I could see your soul, I’m sure it’d be a work of art
Like a painting on a canvas, painted by the heart
You know you’re a masterpiece
A genius in disguise
I wish I could see what you see through your eyes
If there’s one last thing
I gotta sing
it’s that there’s no possibly
Just possible I am the unstoppable
Incomparable hear these words and know it’s me
I do not go unseen
(This one’s written by my boyfriend)
I’m so tired everyday
I want life to be so extraordinary that more than half the time I wouldnt know what to feel or say
Wheres my burning passion?
Melancholy, my minds gray.
Why care when you feel useless why give a fuck, this world is strange
You got me and you got me down for you and you only
Baby, look at me, I want you to be the one to own me
Devil or angel, you’re my sweet, lovely baby.
Tell me angel, have you looked in a mirror lately?
mon el is an ugly ass white fuckboy bitch who used to own slaves and misses objectifying women and throws a temper tantrum whenever things dont go his way or he’s faced w the reality that kara is a strong woman and doesnt need his selfish egoistical ass “protecting her” and i cant wait until he fucking dies probably choking on his own man-pain-guilt-tripping bullshit that makes all these dumbasses on this website wet their panties and run their mouths talking shit about characters that are clearly superior to that stupid fuckboy they love so much and thats the tea on that!
i fucking hate when a het girl shows me a pic of some ugly guy and when i tell her he’s ugly she’s like “you’re a lesbian!!!” honey. sweetie. im a lesbian, not blind and neither have i been living in a canalization away from folks, eating sports illustrated magazines for 18 years bc i grew up in a heteronormative society where people expected me to find certain men attractive. or men at all. i know what good looking men look like but your man ain’t it and is just shit sorry
Request: Can you do a reaction to when they(bts) is mc with another idol and that idol insults their s/o on live tv?
A/N: So its here, i kept it simple and went straight to the insult. I know it’s savage and this attitude shouldn’t be allowed on tv and bla bla, but i think bts would do anything for the person they love so ENJOY IT
“So you’re dating the ugly y/n? You don’t deserve that”
“You’re damn right, no one deserves a queen like her. Truth be told, you don’t even deserve to pronunce her name”
YOONGI “You should have gone for someone prettier, maybe an idol” “Not all idols are pretty, i mean, look at you”
“You’re a dancer, a good one, have you ever thought about taking y/n to dance with you? Maybe her figure could improve”
“And you? Have you ever thought about joining me? Maybe you improve your dancing skills, even tho i don’t know if I can consider what you do dancing.”
NAMJOON “No offence, you can do whatever you want with your life but why y/n? Get yourself a skinny girl, you can do better” “One, two, three-” “What? Are you counting all the times she tried to diet and failed?” “No, im counting how many seconds you have left before i punch you”
“Heard you got yourself a girlfriend, where did you find her? In the trash?”
“Just because you come from there doesn’t mean everyone else does”
“Heard you’re datting y/n, are you looking for something better? I mean you deserve better, her voice is so annoying and she’s ugly”
“Yeah I am looking for someone better”
“Yeah im looking for someone better to mc with because i don’t like sharing my air with shit, i didn’t even know shits could talk until you opened your mouth”
“How did you find a girl so big? Why do you even like her?” “Aw man, don’t worry. Size s not that important. Don’t feel bad for being small, I’m sure some people find pleasure in that too” (ex. refering to his dick just in case)
chat noir will
drape himself over ladybug’s lap during the downtime on their nightly patrols and
moan about how awful plagg is just for some head scratches from ladybug (let’s
be honest, plagg taught the kitty well; complain and receive cheese/ladybug)
they once spent
an afternoon atop the notre dame after an akuma attack critiquing civilian’s
fashion choices. both learned that their partner has excellent taste in fashion.
ladybug: “oh my
god is that a man bun? those things should be burned.”
chat noir: “who
the hell wears crocs anymore? they look like shit, and they make your feel
smell. god, shoes have three deciding factors: quality, price, and style. crocs
have the rare combination of being expensive, poor quality, and being ugly. it’s
quite a feat for one shoe to suck this much. i will judge anyone who wears crocs.”
ladybug uses chat noir as a mannequin to measure some of her designs during their downtime.
frequent arguments over akuma names because some are too stupid to say aloud. ladybug
believes in creativity and free will and vows to let the akumas keep the names
they declare themselves with. chat noir files petitions to change many of them
because he absolutely refuses to admit he nearly got beat by a Mr. Pigeon.
if ladybug and
chat noir are literally anywhere
together outside in public without an akuma, someone’ll always ask, “are you
two together? are you on a date?”. chat has to hold ladybug back from
stakeouts, chat noir sings “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and has gotten to 1
before, even though it usually ends up with him getting pitched off a roof.
morning, there was an akuma battle, and chat noir learned that ladybug has bad
bed head. he makes sure to keep a comb in his pocket now at all times for
whenever there’s an early battle, and ladybug doesn’t have time to fix her hair
before going to school. she doesn’t say it, but she’s really thankful. (also
really jealous because tikki, pockets,
give me pockets, god fucking damn it)
one time there
was a mermaid akuma in the seine and chat noir fell in the water and revealed
he couldn’t swim. ladybug saved him and made him take swimming lessons. nothing
beats coming to sunday morning swimming lessons and finding one of paris’s
famous superheros with floaties and a kick board.
you can bet your
ass that ladybug constantly makes “a cat to water” jokes every second she can.
ladybug keeps a
tally of how many puns chat noir makes. his gets to 162 in one night before she
sets a limit of 10 puns per day. he breaks it all the time and has to wear the
Collar of Shame™ for the rest of the day, which is black collar with a huge
pink bow. (ladybug thinks he secretly likes it).
actually hates ladybug’s puns and buys her the “Punning for Dummies” book for Christmas.
she gets him “31
Ways Not To Be A Douchebag”.
actually know how to use a real yo-yo. chat noir laughs for two weeks.
ladybug and chat
noir regularly attend movies as themselves because no one really knows why the
superheroes are going to the movies, but it probably means there’s an akuma or
something equally bad so let’s just not
go. it just means they get the best seats every time.
they’re really tired and stressed out, and ladybug is being bossy and chat noir
is fed up with hearing it, he’ll say, “okay, deborah” which causes her to pitch him off the eiffel tower.
chat noir can
never get into a hammock. he always flips over every time he tries to get on
one time ladybug
flubbed a back handspring, and the news stations got it live. chat noir plays
it on repeat for a week.
this one time my two friends and i had an english assignment to write an essay about the tragic elements of julius caesar. boring, anyway, yeah, we finish our essays and we’re all hanging out the night before it’s due, and we remember that our teacher actually lives really close to my house??? like a minute walk tops. and one of my friends mentions this girl who used to hand in her assignments in envelopes with a wax seal and left them on the doorstep of her teacher. so in our tired, carbohydrate-addled brains we’re like “that’s a FUCKIGN good idea shit man we have got to fucknig do thta RIGHT NOW”.
so we dig around my jewelry box and find this UGLY ASS owl ring that i had stashed away somewhere and we’re like aw this is fuckin PERFECT. so we print our essays (yes all three, there were t h r e e of us who thought this was a good idea) and tuck them into this official looking manila envelope. we find this red candle and melt it down, right?? problem is, these wax seals that they used to use in medieval times and game of thrones episodes have SPECIAL fuckin wax that is made for that shit. we did not know that…at the time…ok, so we melt this wax and we pour it very carefully on the envelope, but because the envelope is flat on the ground it just runs halfway down the thing, just goes fuckign EVERYWHERE. we don’t give a SHIT, and we press that ugly fuckin owl ring in there. then, one of my friends is like “wow i’m gonna put my finger print in the wax” and then we fucking ALL do it, as if it’s not at all creepy to put your fingerprints in a wax seal that’s supposed to go to your teacher?? we write his last name on the envelope and take it w us, right, okay.
so at ELEVEN AT NIGHT, we walk over to my teacher’s house and the lights are all off and then we realize that this….,.,.is fuckin WEIRD AND CREEPY. yes. only THEN did we realize this. so we end up fuckin around in his driveway for a full five minutes contemplating who is ballsy enough to run up to his doorstep and drop off the envelope cause we weren’t sure if he had a motion activated light or not. then my friend GRABS that envelope and just rips to the door, drops it on the mat, runs back to us, says “go gogogogogogooggo fuckfyck” and we start RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD BACK TO MY HOUSE.
when we get there we realize how fuckin creepy it was, and we start freaking out. like we actually think we could be expelled for this odd shit (we were really tired and freaked out ok shut up) and so we try our best to forget about it and go to sleep. when we wake up, my friend has a text from her mother and it’s just a picture of a text she got from the teacher we submitted our essays to. so we start freaking out until we realize he’s written, “someone’s submitted their essay like a ninja in the night and i think it was your daughter and her two friends.”
so yeah anyway this is the story of how my teacher is the fcukgin coolest for not expelling me for putting a weird sketchy package on his doorstep nice
Unpopular opinion time: A lot of the hate Ayn Rand gets is because she was a womyn. The shit she says about self interest actually is very similar to other theories men have put forward and it is very telling that that is the thing she is most hated for. The number of “Ayn Rand hates children” jokes I see is just gross because like, when does a man ever get that shit? She is called rude, unemotional, ugly, unloving and basically a failed womyn by leftist men. And this is obvious misogyny? A million men advocate for the free market and of course Ayn Rand is the one that is hated because she was a womyn who interrupts men in interviews and advocates self interest!
At the end of the day a womyn advocating self interest and relationships based not on self sacrifice but on what you want and get fulfillment from is terrifying to leftist men because…well, what would that actually mean for womyn?
What does a person's favorite sufjan song say abt them?
Fuqq I meant album
carrie & lowell: they have severe clinical depression but they’re pretty chill and probably don’t have too many weird fetishes.
the age of adz: LOTS of weird fetishes. campy shit is their lifeblood. they love big wild tacky things and they are constantly filling their place of residence with random ugly broken shit they found in antique shops or thrift stores. probably a functioning alcoholic. has a weird relationship with their religious upbringing.
all delighted people ep: they’re very language-oriented and at risk of becoming an english major. they love thorough analysis. they wish they could be louder and campier but they’re too anxious to potentially attract the attention of other people. they really really like birds.
illinois: at risk of already being a fan of neutral milk hotel. either a late-20s straight man who takes unnecessarily attentive care of his beard and thinks too much about beer, or a socialist-leaning woman who’s still not over her ex-girlfriend.
seven swans: has a REALLY weird relationship with their religious upbringing.
michigan: just wants to retire to a small, energy-efficient woodland cabin somewhere up north with the multiple large dogs they will own in the future that they have already picked out names for.
a sun came: has collected or will one day begin collecting knives. thinks performance art gets a bad rap. definitely a stoner.
date a boy that shows his appreciation of you through more than just the way he hugs your hips and kisses your neck. date date a boy that allows you to have your own space.
date a boy that prefers your perfume mixed with his on his clothes.
date a boy that doesn’t care if there’s hair on your legs or not.
date a boy that will hold your hair back when you’ve stayed up all night sick.
date a boy who will laugh when there’s food stuck to your face and he requests that he gets it off for you.
date a boy that isn’t offended when you call him out on his shit, because it will make him a better man.
date a boy who wants to be a better man, for himself, for you, and for others.
date a boy that fucks up and accept the fact that he was wrong.
date a boy that will be strong willed to love you just as much as he wants to fuck you.
date a boy who isn’t afraid of the ‘sticky’ or 'dirty situations’ or the bad verses the ugly.
date a boy that sees a galaxy greater than himself in you, like there’s a connection between two universes the second you meet.
date a boy that doesn’t run away because he’s afraid but rather intertwines fingers with yours just to kiss your hand.
date a boy that never regrets you and tells you everyday as many times as you need to hear it that he loves you with all your might.
date a boy that even after he has you and commits to you, never stops treating you like your his majesty, queen.
because that’s what an amazing girl like you deserves. and nothing less. keep your chin up, he’s coming. I promise.
“But maybe everyone’s a little bit ugly. Yeah, maybe we’re all just ugly, dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it’ll take is one person to just be okay with that and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.”
BTS Reaction To An MC Being Rude To Their Girlfriend
He would be trying so hard to hold his anger in when the MC called you fat. The MC asked why Jungkook chose you over a skinny female idol. Jungkook’s lips would be set in a firm straight line. “Actually, I love Y/N because she is carefree and beautiful. I don’t have to date an idol, I’m free to date who I choose.”
Jimin would be far from the little mochi the fans know and love when the MC decided to comment on your skin colour. You were more tanned than the female idols around you, but Jimin loved your caramel skin. “Maybe your girlfriend should think about investing in some skin bleach treatment.” As soon as Jimin heard the comment his eyes pierced sharply at the MC, and no more was said about the situation.
He would try to make a joke out of the situation, but inside he would be fuming. He couldn’t believe that the MC felt the need to comment on your appearance and the fact that you should ‘dress more for your figure’. You were a little bit on the larger size, but Taehyung loved the way you looked. “I think it would be best if you didn’t make a joke like that.” He would say, raising one eyebrow at the MC.
Yoongi would just nod along until the MC finally finished putting you down. The slight smirk of his face showed that he was getting ready to end the MC’s life with savage comments. “Don’t you think Y/N is a bit controversial?” Yoongi loved your tattoos and dyed hair, and he certainly wouldn’t let someone talk shit about you like that. “I think Y/N is beautiful, I love her ink, it makes her unique.”
Hoseok would be so upset about the situation. He knew that you were still learning to love yourself, and he couldn’t stand the fact that the MC commented on your appearance like that. “One thing I don’t understand, is why you would date a black girl. Don’t you think white skin is prettier?” Hoseok’s eyes flashes over to you immediately. “No. I think Y/N’s skin is beautiful. We shouldn’t judge people by the colour of their skin. Maybe you guys should be more careful about the way you talk about my girlfriend.”
Rap Monster -
The other members would keep looking over at Namjoon when the MC started to diss his girlfriend. His expression hardened instantly, and you knew shit was about to go down. “Aren’t hip hop girls considered easy?” Namjoon managed to somehow stop himself from decking the MC right there and then. “Sir, I think it would a lot easier for both of us if you just apologise right now.”
When the MC called you ugly, Jin’s face became darker and his eyes narrowed. “She has a very boxy face, I thought you would go for someone with a sharper chin, maybe an idol girl?” Jin felt like grabbing the man by the collar and punching him. He stopped himself only because he didn’t want you to see him fight. “Let’s just pretend this never happened, say anything else on this subject and I won’t hesitate to get you fired.”
-Fuck okay so I saw the movie last night and fuck i didn’t think i’d be hype but it felt so right watching it!!!
-this is definitely scattered and poorly articulated compared to my review of ff7 but ill write a proper one in due time. I fucking miss paul
-ive seen every fuckin movie of this franchise in theaters n im only 23 ah these are my thoughts as i was watching it. I was lowkey keeping notes lmao
-beautiful setting and colors wow as always!!!
-FUCK as if charlize therons character wasnt annoying enough the fuckin bitch had to have dreads!!! Deadass bye
-GEEKED at roman coming in at 11 for most wanted criminals
-Roman lmfao he literally cracks me up so fucking much i love tyrese
-the Rock as a soccer daddy ifucking love it his daughter is so cute ugh
-DECKARD SHAW IS SUCH A DADDY oh my i love jason statham and his banter w the rock lmao
-digging all the gratuitous fight scenes and humor and explosions
-what are you gonna Email her? Lmfao roman is too much hahahah
-calling roman Slick lmao
-hobbs and shaw are both daddies fuck they can get it
-scott Eastwood FUCK ME UP i love how theyre giving him so much shit ahaha hes so fine though gotdamn
-The kisss!!! Fuck this dumb ass hacker Bitch
With ugly dreads
-Brian would know what to do… OMG SHOOK im crying i miss paul walker so much my mans
-omfg hes a fucking dad. Papa!!! HE HAS A KID W ELENA IM SHOOK AGAIN
-middle name marcos first name is for his father to name him!!! Bitch!! 😭😭I bet he calls the bb brian!! Just cus thats how dom and vin both would be. I’m crying
-god lmao hobbs’ Fuckin names for shaw and his damn one liners i can’t… callin him princess LOL
-themost recent movies have so much more comedic elements and honestly i live for it my theater was crackin up constantly in between all that anxiety if whats happening next!!!
-shaw in suits fuck me up statham is so fine
-ugh in ny!!! The music is always so lit!!! THE TOYSHOP DAYUM!!! Those sexy cars and sexy ass scott eastwood fuck
-are you Blanta? Lmao roman and that fuckin neon orange lambo
-oo shit doms got a plan yas!!! Helen mirren omfg!!! British woman so I assume this is mama shaw
-ok this banter now is just straight up Flirting between shaw and hobbs like theyd be so good together lmao
-ugh this Destruction i cant… imagine if that shit was real so many ppl would be dead god
-ugh charlize is a little cunt
-gotta admit tho putting those cars jn Auto drive was pretty freaking dope but crazy and the pileup. Shits wild if that could happen irl we’re fucked
-did i mention Eastwood is fucking sexy
-Lil nobody lost his lil mind hahaha
-BIG SEXI COMIN THRU
-Why didnt they just crash into him fuckkkk like instead of just tugging on his car from dif directions like ya dont hurt him but still
-Omg shaw WTF RIP I WAS JUST LOVING HIM ON THE TEAM IN SAD IM CRYING AND HOBBS IS UPSET
-DOM TURNIN HIS BACK ON LETTY IM HURT
-baby callin dom dada im cryjbg holy fuck this mf just shot mama OMG RIP ELENA IM PIST
-god charlize tryig to psycho analyze shit and just constantly spewing bs makes me wanna hjr her
-Tej n roman babter is my fav
-ah eastwood baby is on board fuck me. All Bets r off–Hahaha the fuckin orange car
-Roman" this aint for me man" hahaha he’s so fuckin funny they really made his character a bitchass i love it
-2 hacker bitches up against eachother lmao ramsey is gorge
-roman Reading russian HAGAHA such a goof
-LETTYs SUCH A BAD BITCH sent that fucker right into those blades.
-THERES NOTHING ALRIGHT ABOUT THIS LMAO honestly i’m roman
-Spinning in his lambo on ice and everyone just fucking with him hahaha
-WHAT IS GOIN ONHAHAHA as hes sliding with the fuckin door
-TYRESE HELL YA OMG FUCK YEA WHAT A COMEBACK. “NUMBER 11 MY ASS” HAHAH, whole theater is laughing
-OH MY GOD IMS CREAMING BOTH SHAWS ARE ALIVE AND BEAUTFUL MY DADDIES. LUKE EVANS IM SHOOK BABY SCARFACE LMAO IM CRYING I LIT UP WHEN THEY TOOK THEIR MASKS OFF
-SURPRISEEE… AHA FUK U CHARLIZE IM SO HYPE I HAVE CHILLS
-TEGO CALDERON and DON OMAR HELL YEAH EVEYTHING IS UNRAVELING I MISSED THEM IM CRYIN IM SO HAPPY RN
-DOMS WHOLE PLAN FUCK YEAH AND THE SHAWS IM SO HYPE
-MOMMA SHAW HELL YES AHAHAH DISCIPLING HER FUCKIN BOY “and ur gonna TAKE UR brother” “DEVILS BUNGHOLE” HAJAJA MOM it’s god’s eye. I LOVE THIS FAMILY. Spinoff please???
-IMCHEERING SO HARD MORALE IS SO HIGH
-FOR ELENA YAS DOM IS BACK BABY KNOCKED THAT FUCKER DEAD
-STATHAM W BB BEING AN ACTUALLY DADD IM CRYIN ALVIN N CHIP MUNKS YES AHAHA
-FIGHTing W BB OMFG DADDY YES, “its gonna be a lot of fun” i love him so much take me
-DOMS BACK I HAVE CHILLS YES
-LETTY SEEING DOM AND REALIZING HE’s back Im SOBBING i love them
-WHEres THAT SMILE? THERE IT IS!! OMG CUTE BABY AND SEXY DADDY DECKARD SHAW IM SHOOK
-Ur not gna wanna see this… *sniffs* is that u or him? HAHAHA i love him
-hobbs to roman: Yr u always yelli g hahaha this shit is so funny while even in the middle of action scenes
-Thats my girl!! Letty made it… ugh dom im just
-U lost the minute u interrupted honeymoon fuck ya bitch dont mess w familia
-“This is for my son” FUCK yasss
-The cars protecting dom im crying more
-Told u this would b fun hgh DADDY shaw pls
-DOM N LETTy FOREVER
-gotta get MY YUNG SELFIE LEVELS up I CANT Hahaha fucking roman
-FAMILY!! I LIVE FOR THE ENDINGS AND THE HUGE FAMILY GET TOGETHERS IM CRYING I MISS PAUL WALKER SO MUCH
-ELENA UGH im sad
-INTRODUCing letty to the baby im dead
-WHAT IS HIS NAME WTF???
-Okay EVERYONE MEET….BRIAN… IM CRYING
-I FUCKING KNEW IT BUT IT STILL GOT ME I WAS LEGIT SOBBING THEN THAT FUCKIN KEHLANIGEAZY SONG CAME ON AND IDK I STARTED CRYING MORE. BABY BRIAN FUCK IM SO EMOTIONAL
-I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH I WILL BE 80 and still watching these movies as long as they keep putting them out omfg i just love them all i miss paul walker and brian and jordana brewster but this was a really good addition it did not disappoint even tho i hate the title lmao
-i appreciate u if u read this whole thing lets b friends
I Forbid You From Putting A Shirt On! (Tom Holland!Peter Parker x reader)
Hey everyone! Another Peter Parker imagine!! I got this idea while watching Homecoming for the millionth time. Slight spoilers because it’s based on a scene from the movie, but no huge indications of anything really. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy! It’s kinda long, but I put a lot of thought into it. Thanks for all the love you guys have been sending, I’m so glad you guys enjoy my work so much! Don’t forget to send in requests and things to my inbox (I’d love it if you did :) ) I love you guys! Hollanders for the win <3
- Xoxo K
Warnings: Slight spoilers and making out (which isn’t really a warning, but just in case)
You had just gotten home from school. Today, was another weird day. Your long time friend, Peter (who you were also crushing on at the moment) was acting so weird lately, and today was no different. He wouldn’t hang out with you like he used to. Everyday after school something would come up and you wouldn’t see each other until school the next day. You missed the way it used to be. You two used to hang out everyday and do homework together, you two used to be inseparable, but as soon as he got that Stark internship, everything changed. Now you sit at your desk, getting ready to do homework… by yourself, the usual for you these days. You spotted the picture on your desk of you and Peter from last Christmas, when you spent the holiday with him and Aunt May. In the photo, you and Peter are wearing ugly sweaters and plush reindeer antler headbands (I LOVE headbands, guys. Animal headbands are the shit), mid laugh. It’s your favorite photo of you two, and you just couldn’t help but think about how cute he was. You were lost in thought when all of a sudden you hear a voice coming from right outside your window. You get up from your desk and walk over to the window to inspect the noise. You pull back the blinds and open the window to see… Spider-Man? “What the hell…” You mumbled under your breath. He didn’t seem to notice your presence because he kept on with his conversation over the phone. “I helped this lady with directions” He said, mask pulled up just far enough for his mouth to be exposed. “She was really nice and bought me a churro.” He held up his hand, referencing to the sweet treat, taking a bite right after. You stood there in shock until he finished his conversation and hung up the phone. That was when you climbed through your window and onto the fire escape, only this time he heard you. As soon as your feet hit the metal on the fire escape, his head whipped around to face you. His mouth hung open. “Y/N?!” He said shocked. You were confused as hell now. “How do you know my name?” You spoke cautiously. It’s in that moment that you hear a soft but frantic voice come from the hero in red and blue. “umm… I don’t. I mean…” His voice cracks slightly as he awkwardly attempts to cover up his mistake. He clears his throat and starts again, this time in a fake lower voice, placing his hands on his hips like a cheesy comic book hero. “Hello miss” He said. You made a sour facial expression at his attempt to cover up. “Umm… okay” You said, weirded out. “Let’s start over…” You reached your arm over, through your open window, and into your desk. You pulled out a letter opener and pointed it at Spider-Man, the unlikely intruder. You slowly walked over to him, never taking your eyes away from him. “A… letter opener…?” He laughed a fake hearty laugh, still trying to pull off the fake deep voice. “Silly citizen.” You narrowed your eyes at him “Okay cut the bullshit” You frowned slightly. “No one says that.” You said, irritated with his “macho” attitude. You threw your letter opener at him in hopes that it would make you look intimidating. It was actually pretty pathetic looking. Your attempt at spearing his arm with it ended up with you just hitting him on the forehead with the handle. His hands immediately left their place on his hips to cover his forehead where your letter opener just hit him. “Ouch.” He started talking normally again. “What the hell?!” He yelled, surprised at your sudden action. “No, what the hell to you!” You yelled back at him. “Why are you stalking me?” He seemed offended by your question. “I am NOT stalking you.” He said, defensively. “Umm… you’re sitting outside my room and you know my name so…” You trailed off, annoyed. “Okay, listen…” He held his breath. “I’m Spider-Man.” He said, letting out the breath he had been holding. You gave him a funny look. “Yeah… I kinda got that…” You said, raised your arms and gesturing to his suit. “Damn it…” He said. “Will you let me take off my mask first?” You held your hands up in defense. “My bad.” He pulled his mask up and your eyes widened at the sight in front of you. “Peter?!” You loudly exclaimed, shocked. “YOU’RE SPI-” Peter jumped and held his hand over your mouth to keep you from talking. “Shhhh. Y/N! Be quiet! You can’t tell anybody!” Peter stage whispered at you. You nodded your head at him and he removed his hand from your mouth. “So… you hang from ceilings and stuff right?” He nodded at you. “Show me” You said, smiling. “Y/N… I don’t know…” You gave Peter a ‘really?’ look. He gave you the same look back. “C'mon! Pleaseeeeee?” You put on your puppy face and your eyes welled with fake tears. Peter’s look softened and he gave in. “Okay fine!” He said finally. “Yay!” You said, excitedly, slightly fangirling. Peter shot a web up at the fire escape above you and held onto it, flipping to be upside down. You stared at him, bewildered, as he hung from the web, smiling over at you. “So what do you think?” He asked you. You smiled and walked over to him. “I think…” You moved your hands to hold the sides of his face. Peter’s expression turned hopeful and his mouth hung open slightly as if he was in a trance. “You,” You said, thumbs brushing along his face. You leaned in to Peter’s lips and kissed him. Peter kissed back as soon as he registered what was going on. The kiss wasn’t too long, but it was passionate. When you pulled away, you continued what you were saying to Peter. “You,” You repeated. “Should get your ass inside.” You started walking towards your window. Peter looked at you in shock, flipping down from his previous position. “Uh… w-what?” He couldn’t believe what was happening. You stopped and turned around to look at him. “Or stay out here in the storm.” Just as Peter looked up at the sky, a crackle of thunder was heard and he could see dark grey clouds rolling in from the distance. “But I prefer you come in here and keep me company.” Peter turned his eyes back to you as you said this. You smiled at him as he picked up his stuff and came inside after you. When you two came through the window, he awkwardly stood by it. You walked out of your room and came back with sweatpants and a t-shirt for Peter to wear. “Here, Peter.” You dropped the t-shirt and sweatpants into his hands. “That suit doesn’t look too comfortable to wear for a long time.” He looked at you. “Thanks, but… where should I change?” He asked. “You can change in here, I’ll just leave.” You told him. He shifted slightly and gave you an “okay” and you exited the room. You went over to the kitchen to look for some snacks for the two of you when you heard Peter actively struggling with what you assumed was his Spider-Man suit. You heard a loud groan of frustration followed by Peter yelling for your help. “Y/N?” You giggled at his defeated tone. “Yeah?” You yelled back, trying not to let him know you were giggling. “Can you help me get my suit off?” You smiled and went back to your room to help Peter. You walked over to Peter and helped him unzip the dang thing. “Thanks.” Peter said, cheeks tinted a light pink. You smiled at him. “No problem.” You blushed slightly at how cute he was. “If you need anything else, just holler.” Just as you were exiting, you turned around to look at Peter just at the moment that his suit came off. You nearly had a heart attack at the sight of Peter’s physique. “Holy shit!” You jumped up in surprise, hand quickly gripping back onto the door knob. Your mouth was gaping and the hand that wasn’t gripping the door knob, was over your heart. Your breath was taken away at the sight of your shirtless best friend turned crush. Peter’s head snapped up to look at you, thinking that something was wrong. “What! What happened?! Is everything okay?” Peter exclaimed in worry. You couldn’t take it anymore. There he was, shirtless in all his glory, and he liked you back. So, what were you waiting for? You ran across the room to where Peter was and thankfully, he caught on. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you jumped, wrapping your arms around his neck and latching your lips onto his. Peter wasn’t prepared for your fast approach, however, and your momentum caused both of you to fall onto your bed (ooh… saucy). Peter pulled away from the kiss, making you frown slightly. “Will you go out with me?” You looked down at Peter, smiling widely. “Yes! Duh! Oh my god!” You giggled. Peter smiled at you. “But…” Peter gave you a skeptical look. “I get to try on your suit.” His look softened and he chuckled slightly. “Okay.” “And I get to meet the Avengers…” You added. Peter’s head snapped towards you. “What? Y/N! What the hell?!” You laughed. “I’m just kidding…” You rolled off of Peter’s chest and he got up from the bed. Peter turned to look back at you as he picked up the t-shirt you gave him. You jumped up from the bed and snatched the shirt from his grip. “No!” Peter was taken aback by your sudden outburst. “I forbid you from putting a shirt on!” He gave you a look. “What? Why?” You shrugged at him. “Because…” You trail off. You continue, smirking. “Those abs are too delicious.” Peter looks shocked now. “And besides… You ditched me for months and didn’t tell me why until now. So I think you owe me this for all my suffering.” Peter’s cheeks tint pink and his lips curve up into a smirk. You smile at him sweetly and plant a kiss on his lips before walking out of the room, dragging your hand along his abs as you walk away from him.
Summary: Soulmates are supposed to be a wonderful thing, that is until you find out who your soulmate is. You guessed it, Lance “The Fucker” Tucker.
Pairing: Lance x Reader
A/N: I bet you all look really beautiful today :)
Reality comes back to Hope and she screeches. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“What do I do?” you slap your palm on your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut.
“Is this a joke? Am I getting Punk’d?” she questioned and you scowl, although she couldn’t see your face through the phone.
“No you’re not fucking getting Punk’d, dumbass.” you grit, trying to keep your voice down so that Lance wouldn’t hear you.
You hear Hope scoff on the other end. “I can’t believe he’s actually your soulmate. How fucked up is that?”
“Laugh about it later. Right now I need to know what to do because at the moment Lance is in my kitchen.”
Her joking tone turned serious. “Why is that dickwad in your kitchen? Oh god Y/N did you guys fuck?”
“No! God Hope, I have self respect for myself, you do realize that, right?” your friend was being unbearable.
“That guy has some mad skills. One minute you can be talking about something as innocent as a kids birthday party and the next, you’re fucking. He’s smooth as hell.” she tells you and you sigh.
“Yeah, well I won’t make the same mistake that you did.”
“I was young and dumb Y/N. Stop holding my past against me.” Hope says in a casual tone.
“I don’t! This is probably the third time I’ve ever brought it up since meeting you! You’re the one who always brings it up!” you defend.
“Yeah, yeah. Listen, just go out there, look him in the eyes and say get out of my fucking house you sex addicted freak. He’ll be gone just like that.” you can practically see her shrugging.
“I’m not doing that Hope, I’m a nice person.”
Hope sighs loudly. “I don’t know what to tell you, Y/N.”
“There has to be a reason as to why he’s my soulmate, Hope. Maybe he’s not as bad as you make him out to be.” your voice lowered towards the end and you shut your eyes, knowing Hope would start yelling at you.
“I’ve experienced what it’s like to be with Lance head on! I know what kind of asshole he can be. He breaks hearts and doesn’t care, Y/N! He’ll do the same damn thing to you and I won’t allow my best friend to get hurt from some scum bag who doesn’t have feelings!” she shouts and at one point you have to take the phone away from your ear.
“Hope, there has to be a reason that above everyone else, he’s my soulmate! We’re destined to be together!” you argue
“That soulmate stuff is bullshit.”
“Say that in front of Ben.” you challenge and she goes silent. “ Exactly.”
“He’s an asshole.” she reminds you.
“You just say that because he fucked you over and he’s been cruel to you since you got all the attention despite only winning the bronze.” you roll your eyes.
“He’s mean to Ben!”
“Hope, you’re mean to Ben.”
“Yeah but I’m allowed to be mean to him.”
Another eye roll. It goes silent on both your eyes as you process everything that has happened in the last 20 minutes. Lance is your soulmate. You share every cut, every scar, every injury, every… Tattoo.
“Hope, I gotta go.”
“What? No, where-” you end the call and toss your phone onto your bed then storm out into the kitchen, startling Lance when was leaning against the counter, sipping his cup of water.
He stands up straight upon seeing you. “Hey, what ha-”
“You selfish asshole!” you shout, coming chest to chest with him. Lance is confused. “I can’t believe how inconsiderate you are! You knew damn well that you had a soulmate and you knew damn well that I’d feel every single thing you felt!”
“What are you talking about?” was he being serious?
“I’m talking about you getting that god awful gold medal tattoo!” you shout. “Do you not know how ugly that shit is?! I hate taking showers, I hate looking at myself in the mirror and I can’t fucking have sex with anyone because that stupid tattoo is so god damn embarrassing!”
Lance smirks. You didn’t expect that reaction. “Shit, you have it too? Lemme see..” he leans forward, reaching for your pants but you swat his hand away, glaring at the tall, dark haired man.
“Oh baby,” he rests his weight on the counter again. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You look at him with disgust plastered on your face before turning your back to him. “Get out of my apartment.”
Now when girls would tell Lance to get out of their house, he’d be out the door before she could even finish her sentence. But with you, it was different. He wanted to stay with you, he didn’t want to go. Just being in your presence comforted him no matter if you were angry with him or not.
“Y/N, wait, no, I didn’t mean-”
“I said get out, Lance.” you snap, turning back to look at him. “Maybe it’s a good idea if we just stay away from each other. You didn’t want anything to do with me before, there shouldn’t be a difference now.”
Lance thought back to all the times you’d try to contact him with a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ and he’d respond with a ‘fuck you’ or ‘leave me the hell alone’
“I’m sorry.” the cocky, asshole Lance from before was replaced with this Lance. He was genuinely sorry.
“Just leave please.” you sigh, not daring to look up from the floor.
Lance, defeated, let out a puff of air before complying to your wish. He looked at you once more before shutting the front door behind him.
A/N: Sorry it’s kind of short. Tell me what ya think :)