this is uglier than i hoped for

Mental breakdown tag lol

do I use this script or not

also vedj - still going, but will probably miss some days and that’s OKAY
I’m worried for this video, because rather than generalising mental illness as important, and needs to be talked about, I go into detail about the specifics of what I’m feeling. And it’s not pretty. If you can’t relate, and I hope you don’t, I’m going to seem very very strange. But mental illness isn’t simple, it’s not all let’s blow on thumbs together to stop these darn panic attacks, or this cute cartoon girl crying in a corner. It’s so much bigger and uglier and more complex.
I haven’t been making videos because I didn’t know how to when my head has been consumed and overtaken by what I’m about to talk about. But I think I’ve figured it out.
so here’s the thing
you may have seen on twitter
i mentioned that i haven’t really felt like i’m here since i was 17 in a vid recently
and then within the last week that sort of upped as a problem by like, 80%
i went to wales for some shoots, felt crazy the whole weekend, then came back and got very panicky about the fact that I was going mad
I had slept fine, and I kept expecting to wake up better, but I just didn’t
I’ll explain what this all actually is and how it feels in a bit, plz hold
so I got back, and knew that I felt messed up, so tried registering to the doctors
walked there, in my weird dream state, took a proof of address cause I knew I needed that, handed it in, and then they said that I needed proof of address within the last two months
i was teetering on the edge of tears and also feeling really weird so I think they must have thought I was actually insane
I forgot how to say thanks and bye so I think I just left, dunno
walked home, in this strange, bright dream world
tried finding proof of address, forgot how to talk to my housemate, scared she was going to notice that I was drunk, except i wasn’t drunk
and then my mum called and said dodie
are you okay
and I just sort of
i was sobbing, rummaging through bin bags to try to find some sort of proof of address, on the phone to mum, and I decided to visit home home for some sort of familiarity, cause I used to feel so normal and alive in that house, when I was younger
so I went home home, crying on the train, panicking about the fact that I was going mad and all my friends were like dodie wtf
that was when I tweeted saying I needed a break
then I saw mum and started crying about the fact that I left my old bedroom bed in dovan flat, cause I just wanted my normal bed in my normal room so I could feel normal
and I came home but of course I wasn’t magically cured because going to that house is not the same as time travel
i’m not taking a trip to 2012 when I go home, as much as I want to, i’m a broken dodie visiting a broken house and a broken ish family
I even visited my old primary school which shut down, like, years ago, and I wandered around with hedy
I don’t think that helped, cause it felt like it had just, grown leaves and aged in like 20 seconds
it just made me feel even weirder
so what am I feeling? Okay. let me explain. Or try to.
here are a bunch of messages I have sent to friends of mine, to try and explain wtf this is
“i’m so tired
I’m just so tired I feel like I’ve been awake for 4 days And I don’t feel like I’m here I feel like I’m drunk Like I’ve had three wines and shots and beer and I’m tired and ready to go home and I can’t talk to anyone because I’ve forgotten how I usually talk
I don’t even look like me
Everything is so wrong and weird and scary
I honestly think I’m going mad
I can’t stop crying
I’ve got such a bad headache” to lucy
And I’ve just constantly felt like Drunk and blind You know when you’re hammered
And everything’s really bright and you can’t remember how to talk properly and you’re not really taking anything in cause you feel really weird and you can touch things and see things and talk to people but you’re not really There
I genuinely genuinely think I’ve gone mad
And I don’t know if I’m ever going to see things like normal again” to sammy
“Here’s the thing
I’m alive
I can breathe
I can eat and talk and sleep and see and feel
So I should be okay
And objectively, I am fine
So why am I not
It’s one of those things that I keep thinking about over and over to the point where my head is like is this really happening and then I’m like is WHAT really happening
I used to not understand mental illnesses at all
I was like
Just think of cats and rainbows
But now I get it
It’s so much deeper in your brain than cats and rainbows
I used to say if I ever got dementia or something id fight it
But how can you fight it when the it is the thing you’re using to fight with
Dodie has gone full blown mad” to jon
now, thanks to the last vid, and to google, I’ve found out what this probably is
and I’m trying my best to register and see a doctor and get therapy and sort this out and also
I know what you’re thinking
if you have no idea what I’m talking about, if you’ve never had anything even close to this, if you are mentally dandy
you’re thinking dodie
you sound mental
just shut up,
turn it off
you’re fine
you’re obsessing over nothing, you’re attention seeking, just stop thinking about it
firstly, I am so happy and thankful that you feel normal and happy and go and enjoy your life because you can
and secondly, I would do anything to turn this off and feel normal again, literally anything. But I can’t. not right now. I don’t know how.
so. here’s my plan.
I’m going to act fucking normal.
I can still sing. I am still alive, on this planet, even though I don’t feel like it. I still find things funny, I still can taste food, I can make jokes, and write songs and hang out with friends, even though I literally feel like I’m hiding something from everyone and I keep looking at everyone as if I’m a robot.
but I’m going to sort this out, somehow. I’m going to sleep before midnight and wake up before 9, I’m going to give myself weekends, I’m going to do mindfullness meditation at 11am, and Im going to go running at least twice a week and eat healthy and drink water and not drink too much alcohol and treat myself when I’ve done well and not overwhelm myself. And I’m going to go to a doctor, and then therapy, and deal with this. But this will not consume me.
Yeah I feel fucking weird. Bring it. I’m so done with the constant buzz in my head - why do I feel like this why do i feel like this why do i feel like this
I just do. And I can’t change it right now. It’s not going to turn off. and I can’t just stop the world until I feel normal again, because I’ll get to my 70s and be like well shit, I missed it all.
So I’m going to do the best I can. I’m going to make the videos that make me happy. And I’m going to laugh about the fact that I’m a bit mental. Cause what else can you do.

Whilst I type this I’m on the phone to my bank to get a statement sent to prove my address to go BACK to the doctors to prove I live here then get an appointment to get referred to therapists. The NHS may be free but it’s not bloomin easy lol.

gotta say making this video was super healthy for me. It was good to edit together and see that I can pass as a functioning human.

The Pirate and the Princess - Harry Hook

Summary: You’re daughter of the Queen of Hearts. You’re wandering the Isle when you stumble upon none other than Harry Hook.

Warnings: None I think? A bit of sexual tension at the end and that’s all. Enjoy :)

A/N: Requests are open!

The sound of rocks crunching under my boots was all that could be heard on the Isle. I was away from the main part of the Isle, walking along a dirt path between two buildings. I always liked being alone. I never talked to anyone on the Isle except for Cheshire Cat’s daughter, but she often disappeared, literally. I hated it here, it was so much uglier than Wonderland. I hadn’t been there since i was a little girl. A war broke out and my mother and I fled Wonderland, to keep safe. We were hoping to go to Auradon, but being villains and all, we ended up on the Isle of the Lost.

When suddenly, I heard a twig snap and I immediately looked up and pulled my sword out of my sheath. I waited for another noise.

“Well, well, well. Now who do we have here? Never seen you before.” A voice with a thick Scottish accent said from behind me. I turned around to come face to face with an extremely attractive boy. He wore eyeliner and a hook on one hand. I knew who he was, none other than Harry Hook. “Wait, I know exactly who you are. (Y/N) Heart. I’ve heard of you before. How’s Wonderland?” He said in a mocking tone.

“Shut it Hook, if you want to keep that head of yours.” I replied, gritting my teeth. I always did have a short temper.

“So you know who I am? That’s great. Now what is a pretty little thing like you doing over here all alone?” He questioned.

“Trying to get away from dirty pirates like you. Now why don’t you go back to your little ship and leave me alone, Hook.”

“Now, now. Don’t lose your head, princess.” he winked. “I’m here for a reason.”

“And that is?” I asked.

“My crew and I have been watching you for a while, we’ve seen what you can do with that sword. If you’re anything like your mother, you’d be great in a fight. Uma wants you part of our crew.” Harry said.

“Me? Part of your crew? I don’t think so Hook. I don’t play well with others. Especially wannabe dirty pirates.” I put my sword back in its sheath.

“Why not, Heart? You’d get to be with me.” He gestured to himself.

“Why would I want that?”

“Come on now, princess. We both know you fancy me already. I can see you practically melting in front of me.” He came closer and brought his hook up to my hair, pushing it behind my ear. He leaned in towards my ear and whispered “What do ya say (Y/N)? Join us?” His lips grazed my ear and I shivered.

I smacked his hand away from my face and pushed him backwards. “In your dreams, Harry.”

“Oh trust me, you will be in some of my dreams.” He winked and his eyes roamed across my body. Why did he have to be such a god damn flirt? I allowed my eyes to graze around his body, he was tall and handsome. He looked like trouble, and I wanted in on him. He immediately intrigued me, his talk, his walk, his physique, his attitude. It was like being under a spell. I couldn’t let this handsome pirate win me over just yet, though. I had to make him want it.

I replied “Screw you, pirate.“And with that, I ran off as fast as I could. Determined to get away from his interrogations. He’s a dirty pirate, using his flirtations to manipulate me, well, that’s not gonna work on me. It’ll take more than a handsome face to get me to join a damn pirate crew.

The Next Day

I sat on a rock at the edge of a stream. I was in the forest completely alone. Nothing more I could ever ask for.

“Hey princess.” I jumped up and was startled to see Harry Hook behind me, chuckling to himself at my reaction.

I tried to play it off that I was frightened, “Oh, you again.” I sat back down on the rock. “I’m not joining your damn pirate crew.” He sat down on the floor next to me, and I took that moment to realize how attractive he was. His ruffled brown hair didn’t have a hat on today, his eyes reminded me of blue gemstone, he was captivating. His words pulled me out of my daydream.

“That’s not what I’m here for (Y/N).” I looked at him with a half confused, half annoyed expression. “I’m here because I want to get to know you better. After our encounter yesterday and you running off, I couldn’t get my mind off of you, Heart. You got a hold on me.”

“Shut up Harry. I know what you’re doing. I’m not gonna let your words manipulate me.”

“You think that’s what this is all about? Me manipulating you? Well, I’m offended Miss Heart. Why would I do such a thing. I wouldn’t dream of hurting you.”

“Then prove it, Hook.” I replied.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace. It was gold, with a big red jewel on the center. “I stole this from Dizzy for you.” He handed it to me.

“You’re bad, Hook.” I smirked. I quickly caught him off guard and took his hook, and slammed it into a tree. “But still not working.”

He got up and pushed me into the tree. “Princess, you’re really testing me right now.” His face was inches from me, I can almost feel his lips graze against mine.

‘Two can play at this game.’ I thought. I ran my hand up his chest and he smirked and let out a deep laugh, Before his eyes returned to mine. “You’re mad, Miss Heart.” He said in a deep tone.

“I get that a lot.” I whispered, my heart beating fast in my chest, I’m pretty sure he could almost hear it. All of a sudden, he slammed his lips on mine. They were soft and moved quickly with mine, like we was desperate to get a taste of me. It started off as lusty and full of desire but slowly turned into a sweet, longing kiss, like there was more to it.  But just like that, his lips were gone. Harry’s hand creeped up next to me, and pulled his hook out from the tree. I was left there breathless and in shock, his hands above me kept me pinned to the tree. “You’re evil.” I said to him and looked up, grazing my lips on his. He got up and brushed his pants off and turned to me.

“Come back here tomorrow at 12 pm and I’ll show you what evil really is, Miss Heart.” And with that, Harry Hook turned and walked off into the forest. Disappearing between the trees.

That boy is gonna be the death of me.

Aggressively Miscellaneous Sentence-Starters


  1. “None of this would have happened if you just kept your read receipts on like a normal person.”
  2. “I didn’t even like them when they were alive. I’m supposed to suddenly give a damn now because they’re dead?”
  3. This is how you treat the person that shares his/her weed with you?”
  4. “Hey… don’t get saucy.”
  5. “It wasn’t a big fire. Small fire. Baby fire. Fire-ling.”
  6. “Jesus! You’re quiet. We should really put a bell on you.”
  7. “You cannot live off convenience store chicken tenders. You’re going to get listeria again.”
  8. “Does anybody want to get deep into voodoo with me?”
  9. “No offense but your roommate is kind of a twat.”
  10. “I was feeling really down about myself so I bought $47 worth of puzzles on my lunch break. It helped.”
  11. “You carry around a pack of Pokemon cards wherever you go but you didn’t bring your freaking Epi-pen with you?”
  12. “Is now a bad time to tell you that I never learned how to swim?”
  13. “Kind of can’t believe I shaved my legs for this.”
  14. “…sure, how could I possibly take offense to that?”
  15. “Loser buys lunch. For a week.”
  16. “That’s a terrible revenge plan. There’s not even any knives involved.”
  17. “When did we get a cat?”
  18. “Delete that picture or I’ll delete you.”
  19. “I’m a little concerned that someone who doesn’t build things has this many hammers.”
  20. “Hey, is this book of spells real, or just for show?”
  21. “What’ll it take to buy your silence?”
  22. “Your spelling is almost as bad as your flirting.”
  23. “Oh no. Your 90s R&B playlist. Are you okay?”
  24. “Why does your car smell like peppermint?”
  25. “If anyone asks, I was here all day. Actually, no. I was downtown, reading to blind children. Yeah, that’s better.”
  26. “That is an excessive amount of liquor for three people.”
  27. “I’m just going to key his/her car real quick.”
  28. “I’m going to shove that fidget spinner down your goddamned throat in about three seconds.”
  29. “You have the handwriting of a doctor…who writes with his mouth.”
  30. “I’m really sorry I set your dryer on fire again.”


  1. “Who would’ve thought Armageddon would have such a bug problem?”
  2. “God, this is a bad idea and we haven’t even done it yet.”
  3. “I’m not saying this is a suicide mission. I was just wondering what you wanted me to write on your wooden grave-marker.”
  4. “Do you think class will be canceled if the planet actually explodes?”
  5. “I really hope those weren’t gunshots.”
  6. “In this world, you learn to let go.”
  7. “I can’t eat anymore month-old fruit cocktail.”
  8. “You stay here. Lock the door and call 911.”
  9. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this but… we have to save him/her.”
  10. (“You’re bleeding!”) “The blood’s not mine.”
  11. “Do you have a better idea?”
  12. “Look, if it’s either this or die…we don’t have a choice.”
  13. “The power grid is down and so are the phone lines. Looks like we’re on our own.”
  14. “We can either hunker down and wait this out, or we can try to find a way out of dodge. Your choice.”
  15. “We’re down to four bullets, so your aim better be fantastic.”
  16. “I figure I’ve got at least another hour before I bleed out.”
  17. “Well, the screams came from that way so we should probably go the other way.”
  18. “This is so not how I pictured the end of the world.”
  19. “You think the barricade will hold?”
  20. “There’s only one road out of this godforsaken town.”
  21. “Things were so much easier when the dead stayed dead.”
  22. “Quit your bitching. You’ve got another arm, don’t you?”
  23. “Aliens are much uglier in real life than they were in movies.”
  24. “Fifteen feet of snow so far and no end in sight. I sure hope we bought enough bread.”
  25. “The water is rising so unless you know how to build a boat, we need to get to higher ground.”
  26. “You must be here to rescue me. You’re too pretty to be the Angel of Death.”
  27. “You’d be surprised what you’ll eat when you don’t have any other choice.”
  28. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
  29. “This is my territory and I make the rules. If you don’t like it, you’re more than welcome to go live among the flesh-eaters.”
  30. “Welcome to hell. I’ll show you around.”
Their foreign idol girlfriend is dissed by other Korean rappers because she is dating them and it really doesn’t end well with the other rapper (Mix groups)

V: -you laughed at it and felt bad they had to stoop that low with you. ‘You know what I am foreign thank you for pointing it out. More people like me and know me at the end of the day. So offend me all you want I came to this country to make music. I’m actually pretty good, check me out sometime maybe you’ll actually see what happens when you have talent.’ The blows just kept coming to the other artist who began sinking down to try to get out of the picture- “oh no stop her please. I actually feel bad for the other guy”

Jungkook: -it was almost instant after the rude comment came out about your foreign nature you shot back with more force that your comment had to be bleeped out of the episode ‘if we’re gonna talk about stereotypes, I guess that means you have a tiny dick. So you know if we’re gonna link me to my country in a bad way I’ll link you to your’s the same way as well’ at the end people knew you meant business- “well um ok then, remind me to never make you mad”

Wonwoo: -they just sat there while you sat there. Everyone was waiting to hear what exactly you would say to them. Then you said ‘is this because I’m more known internationally than you are? Give it time love maybe people will love you’ before smiling- “when will people learn she’s not easily offended”

Mingyu: -Mingyu knew it wasn’t going to end well at least not for them. You personally could rip their heads off with ease. ‘Do you like your face? Hope you weren’t too attached to it because it’s about to get uglier than it is’- “oh um I have to go before Y/N kills someone”

Vernon: -They just did it one their own interview and the next interview you were in you actually got to talk about it. ‘I literally had no idea who this person even was. So them attempting to offend me is about as effective as getting slapped in the face with air. You know its happening but there’s really no damage. If they were actually famous it might have been effective’ it was clear you were having more fun with the insult than the other rapper and Vernon couldn’t believe it- “omo she’s sassier than I thought”

Moonlight Reign Ch. 4

A/N: This was rough to write while I’m all busy, so it’s not my best. However, I hope you enjoy and give me feedback!

Originally posted by ky-ngsoo

Word Count: 3.2k

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Chapter Summary: You reunite with someone with undertones of betrayal as your place in Bangtan is solidified

There’s nothing uglier than a person’s face right before they kill someone. The curling of their lips into a snarl, the glint of merciless psychosis present in their eyes, and their hands, almost too ready to seize a heartbeat. It’s common for the killer to beg their loved one’s eyes to look away before they cause someone else’s to close indefinitely. However, your father had never asked you to do so before.

He had never asked that of anyone.

You weren’t able to see Yoongi’s face before he killed Byungjoo, but you did feel the blood spatter paint your face. You had been covered in the blood of family, which would be the largest crime someone could commit in your former syndicate.

However, you didn’t feel sick. You felt fine.

Your eyes stuttered open, the feeling of a cool washcloth gently brushing against your skin as you regained consciousness with blurry vision trying to realign.

“Y/n, I’m washing the blood off of you, don’t be scared,” You heard a gruff voice as your eyes focused to see Yoongi’s face above your own as he brushed the cloth on your cheek, “We had to change your clothes to get all the blood, but we didn’t see anything past what a bathing suit would be, and by we I mean Jin and I.”

“Byungjoo is dead,” That was something you had to confirm as Yoongi nodded, “Why?”

Yoongi ceased all movement for a second, reaffirming his decision to say his next few words, “He tried to kill one of our own, one of my own.”

You almost choked on air, “O-One of-”

“I didn’t stutter, y/n,” He stated, continuing to clean you off, “You are mine now.”

His stare was a web that looked like the coziest bed to snuggle into. Yoongi was either a new home or a prison with amazing architecture.

You didn’t know which option was the most dangerous.

He chuckled, breaking the stare and you from your own thoughts, “Don’t get too excited, I mean you’re my new addition, we have a closer bond now, I guess,” You scrunched your nose at his chiding, “I mean if you wanted one night of-”

Your lips twitched upwards, “You’re disgusting,” You said as Yoongi flashed you his gummy smile.

“There’s a sense of humor, something to lighten the mood,” He noted, standing up to put the rag away, “I need you alive and well, it’s the least I can make sure of.”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, “What do you mean?”

Yoongi smiled, “Ah, who would’ve thought you’d forget saving a trembling preteen when you weren’t even 10?”

You paused, remembering the child of the Min’s, the only person you had shown your face to. Byungjoo was right, this was all your fault, but you weren’t angry with yourself in the least bit, “It was because you were either going to die or end up like me, and I didn’t like either possibility.”

He nodded, “Little did you know I’d tear that whole system down.”

You wanted to be shocked, but you weren’t. Min Yoongi hadn’t exactly said it, but you knew, he was the push to the dominos that your empire was built on.

“What? No anger?” Yoongi leaned down to look at you with eye contact, “I ruined your life after you saved mine.”

“I get angry at wrongful acts,” You managed to sit up straight, “All you did was show the world the truth.” Your head was pounding for you to lay down again, “My father and Byungjoo ruined my life.”

Yoongi was dumbfounded, unable to wrap his head around what made you so level-headed, considering your background. It was just about admirable how you could recognize fault where fault is due, “How did you manage to form an independent opinion with all the blindfolds they put over your eyes?”

Keep reading


Sim Request - Kiara Quintyn

A casual laid back sim for @unicorn-princess-kiara! I hope you like her!



Note: I only dressed her for everyday, so you will have to decide her other outfits.

CC List

Eyes |  Skins 1 2 | Eyeliner | Hair | Lips | Top | Tattoo | Jeans | Freckles | Earrings

Thank you to all the creators!

Its mutual part 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Bucky x Dot at first, Wanda, Tony Stark, Sam WIlson, Pietro, a lot more.

Word count: 1k+

Loosely based on the movie Its a girl boy thing, promise its gonna be different but at first might be very similar.

Summary: Both Reader and Bucky have hated each other for years, but an unexpected event will bring them close, so much closer than they wanted.

Warnings: Insults, bullying, idk what else.

Part 1 Part 2

(Y/N) woke up with the annoying sound of her alarm, the beeping never seized to stop. Her    (Y/E/C) eyes shifted towards the clock, which was stating 6:30 am. She had to get up if she didn’t want her mother to come in, but her body refused to move. Her bed was warm and cozy, plus her brain needed five more minutes of sleep.

“Honey, Wake Up, your breakfast is getting cold!” She heard her mother scream. A groan left her lips while she stood up from her pink bed. Her same old routine started, first she stretched her muscles and after that she grabbed some clothes, took a cold shower and changed into her usual clothe: a pair of jeans, a blouse and her snickers. She had a tendency to dress smart, preppy some would say. Finally she directed herself down stair to the kitchen, where a big old bowl of oat meal awaited her.

(Y/N) sat in from of her mother, smiling at her. Appearance was what ruled in this house, it was a must-have to smile or else her mother would pester her till no end. The woman in front of her kept talking and talking, a never ending conversation. It was hell. God, did she wish to leave.

“Whats your opinion (Y/N)?” Her mother unexpectedly asked.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“(Y/N) (L/N), You should be paying attention to everything. Is this how you’re going to answer at your interview? Yale wo-“

“Have to go mom, school awaits.” She stood up and left rapidly, annoyed at everything. She hated how thing were turning but it was the only way to get out of her mothers way.

“Don’t be rude and interru-“ (Y/N) slammed the door shut and looked at the phone. Fuck, she thought, Late yet again. She ran to the bus stop but it was too late. The school bus left without her, fucking hell. All she had to do now is walk.


“James Buchanan Barnes, Wake Up! Your gonna be late again!” Winnie, is mom, screamed from the top of her lungs. Bucky stirred in his lips, mumbling incomprehensible words. God, did he hate weekdays.

“Hey, douche wake up. I need a ride to school!” Becca stated, while throwing a pillow towards him. Bucky groaned more, slowly raising his middle finger towards his sister. The smell of greasy bacon made his stomach stir, which finally made him get up. He slammed his door closed, hearing the laughter of his annoying little sister and sizzle of food. He rapidly changed and left to eat whatever was on the table.

“Mornin’ Ma” He said kissing her at the cheek. He was much taller than her, even taller than his dad.

“Hey Pops.” He slouched on the chair, in front of his dad and started eating some pancakes and bacon.

“You ready for Fridays game son?” Bucky nodded, not saying a word.

“He’s always ready George.” Winnie interjected.

“I’m just saying, if football doesn’t work out he can work at Wins with me.” Bucky stood up, abruptly, and left. Its was always like this, a routine that he had. A car horn resounded through the house, as he left.

“Hey Steve” Buck screamed, as he jumped into his sit.

“Hey Buck, everything all right?” Becca jumped into the back, hugging Steve and whacking Bucky’s head.

“Hey, fuck off Becks!” She laughed, and Steve pulled off just like always. It was all so monotone to him, and his only hope of getting out of this was the game on Friday.


(Y/N) started walking to school when a red car came into view. It was Steve Rogers red convertible, a classical. She loved it from a far, bur right now she was desperate for a ride. She was willing to do anything.

“Hey! Over here, Hey!” She screamed. Bucky looked at her, and the only thing he did was turn the volume up. He didn’t want to give her a ride and if Steve heard with all his chivalry ways, he would do anything to help her.

“Sorry, next time!” Bucky screamed at her, laughing with enjoyment. (Y/N) tried to run faster, catch up with them, but she only ended up tripping into a huge puddle. God, she hated her life. She hated Bucky. She hated this stupid town. She couldn’t wait to leave.

She walked all the way to school, soaking wet, She felt gross and stupid. Hell, she hated this, all of this, but the year was going to end soon and she was going to leave. Leaving was her comfort, her motivation. She hated this unforsaken town, so much.

She watched from a far, how Bucky paced through the grass and towards Dot, his beauty queen girlfriend. She was drop dead gorgeous but a total bitch. Everyone feared her, and how could you not if she was the she-devil, Satan’s reincarnation, Lucifer himself. She was worse than a venomous snake, she put the snake emoji to shame, and now (Y/N) she had to pass through them to get in. Life hated her.

“Oh my god, look it’s a she-man.” Dot said, pointing directly at (y/n). Everyone laughed, but (y/n) didn’t really care.

“God she just uglier by the minute, I hope I don’t catch whatever she has” Sharon retorted. Steve nudged his girlfriend Sharon, and looked at (Y/N) with an apologetic gaze. She walked straight through them, ignoring Steve, and into the school hallway. The first warning bell rang, as she made way towards her first class, literature.  

As class ended, (y/n) was fed up with the amount of work she had to do. All her classes were advanced, expect art. She had to fight her mother for that one, and she was glad she did. Leaving the class room towards her locker made her feel relieved, the books she carried around were agonizing.

The closer she got to her locker, the more she realized that Bucky and Dot were kissing there. Life really hated her these days. She stood in front of them for a while, clearing her throat but they still seemed occupied.

“Damn it, can you please leave my locker?” She sighed. Bucky and Dot broke the kissing, looking at her but deciding to ignore and continue kissing.

“Don’t you know its grotesque to see two people having sex in the hallway? Its unlady like, and so disturbing.” (Y/N) said louder this time. Dot broke the kiss, stepping away from Bucky and looking at her.

“It seems to me that you’re just jealous .” Dot stated. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, really not interested in Dots stupid games.

“Well she is, you know she’s never had a man before.” Bucky continued. (Y/N) closed her eyes and turned around.

“I don’t need a man to feel wanted or important, less to feel loved. Any way, I’m not jealous of you, why would I be? Because the way I see It, you…” She pointed straight at Bucky, who just stared at her.

“You are gonna end up marrying Dot after school, and because you couldn’t get into a college you’re gonna end up working at Winnies with your dad. Years later, you all are gonna be unhappy, with a few kids and pounds too. You’re gonna be thinking ‘Oh how I regret not studying or paying attention’…” Dot just looked at her dumbfounded. Her mouth was hung open, not knowing what to say.

“So no, I’m not jealous of you, because I’m going to go to some great school and be a professional instead of staying in this god-for-nothing town.” (Y/N) slammed her locker, turning around and looking at both, Bucky and Dot. They just stared at her, not really knowing what to say. (Y/N) turned around and left them.

Bucky just stared at her, not being able to forget her words. He wasn’t going to work at Winnie’s, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to live his whole life in this town. He was going to prove her wrong, god he had to win Friday night.

Nitpicking the video by Game Theory on Gman = Nihilanth

Why ? Because it’s fun, there’s nothing more to it.

That being said, let’s talk about the vid :

  • The video’s intro is a mix of cringe and actual sort-of nice love letter to the original’s intro. It’s a nice idea but it comes out weak in actual excecution, a pattern we should get used to when it comes to his videos. You really don’t need fidget spinner jokes, you made that joke already in previous videos of yours.
  • Showing Half Life Wikia - I know it’s a stretch but hey, if Mat Pat can do that, then why not do it too ? Combine Overwiki is the only source of info that has updated and confirmed info about the series. Most fans of HL DO know that fact.
  • Assuming that 18-19 year olds today never heard about the series outside of HL3 jokes…. that’s pretty sad, don’t you think ? I know a content creator has to focus on their audience but assuming things can be ALWAYS left out. Why not just say a sentence similar to “And if you don’t know the series, let me explain”. I know many people who heard about the series outside of the joke, many actually got to know about it thanks to countdowns & top tens, siblings or other family members, or on their own. I got to know about it thanks to Portal 2 being a game in its universe, and I’m 18. Generalizing is a good tool when trying to reach a bigger audience, but come on. Let’s just hope it was a joke, even if it was an unfunny one.
  • “Gordon [..] experienced the worst first day ever” - It was never stated it’s canon, it’s actually highly implied that it WASN’T his first day.
  • “Why is his face uglier than others ?” - Good job wasting an argument about gman’s appearance being different than other humans’s. Yep, it’s never really brought back again in the video. His apprearance is meant to be so to show he isn’t a human being. For all we could know he could be a human with superhuman abilities, which is why the choice of making his look, act and speak much different was made. It’s a rather obvious point, but at least I made it.
  • The way Mat behaves makes it seem as if he’s SUPER confident in what he is showing. “I know the answers”… except we then hear that it’s just a theory.
  • Sans comparison isn’t bad, but only works as a comparison and nothing more and thankfully it doesn’t come back in the video
  • HL2 happens around 15-20 years after HL1, not 20. There is no canonical date because of a narrative choice Valve made - Gordon wakes up knowing absolutely nothing and being in a completely different situation than the one he was previously in. The same thing is with the game’s location. We are identifying as him in the game, so we cannot know unless Gordon gets to know it himself.
  • Combine doesn’t have to adjust as much as most think - they brought many of their resources to Earth WHILE using Earth’s. Yes they were wrecking the planet in order to get them, but if they weren’t dependent on their technology more then destroying the Citadel and the Portal wouldn’t make that much sense. After all, the Portal was the only way to get to their homeworld and get support in case of a major rebel uprising
  • One thing I can agree on - Gman IS the chess master, and another thing I could agree with - Gman being RELATED to Nihilanth. It’s overall, an interesting skeleton of a theory that could be nicely build upon if there were good arguments for it.
  • That being said, no Gman couldn’t BE a Nihilanth and here’s the first reason why - how can we know if Gman is even the same species as Nihilanths ? Are there any higher, more evolved races that could fit Gman more ? Can Nihilanths shapeshift ? The examples used in the video could apply to many other alien species that we might not even know of yet.
  • Vorts were enslaved by Nihilanth, they do not remember him fondly. Because of Gordon freeing them from him, they see Freeman as a messaiah figure, a saviour.
  • “They are connected !” Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah, they are both “Nihil-anths” (Not men, aka humans). About that, don’t you remember that G ordon  FreeMAN = G MAN ?  This entire argument was a huge and desperate stretch
  • Another desperate stretch - Same voice actors doesn’t mean the same character. If we go by that logic, does that mean Barney (also voiced by Michael Shapiro) is a nihilanth too ?
  • “Comes another” is most likely about Gordon being another one trying to take him and his kind down, as other Nihilanths were murdered and or enslaved by Combine.
  • Third arm on alien’s bodies was on their stomachs, more or less around the chest area in the centre, not their necks.
  • And here’s the most insulting part to me - We should be thankful for a content creator making a video on a series that was abandoned by its creators. A sentence heavily implied in the video. Just because you’re popular and influencial doesn’t mean you have a right to say that with smugness to a fanbase you were scared to anger. No dude, you could easily not include this remark. What you just did only makes people think that your ego is messing with your head already, and only bad things happen when it’s done with that.

TL;DR - the theory itself is an interesting idea to think about, but the execution of the video is not great. Mat Pat should try to talk about himself less and his already overused jokes and focus on the topic itself.

PS: I never hated or hate MatPat, I’ve been subscribed to him and watching his videos for 3-4 years now. I can still criticise his videos, without doing that in the past. Also I’m not a native english speaker, I may misunderstand some things.

EDIT: Forgot & now added the “Comes Another” thing

P&G’s: Live vs. Broadcast

Just some thoughts about watching the meet live for the first time, what’s different, and what I thought of the meet.

1. Splat fests are 800x more stressful in person, but Leah Clapper is a trooper for making that save. 

2. I don’t care what the leo looks like, every girl looks like a disco ball. 

3. Wolf turns, somehow, are even uglier in person.

4. CAN WE PLEASE STOP STRADDLING OUR PAC SALTOS? (I was sitting right behind bars and oh god, it was an epidemic almost worse than wolf turns.)

5. I understand Marta’s insistence on white leotards in ‘96 because damn Riley has abs

6. Riley is really captivating to watch live, far more than she is on T.V. As soon as she hit beam and floor, you couldn’t not watch her. 

7. Ragan looks vastly older from a distance. She clearly carries herself with a maturity on the competition floor that I haven’t been able to see before. I hope NBC et. al. stop infantilizing her. 

8. Loved watching Deanne and Morgi. I want nothing but happiness for both of them (and everyone, really). 

9. The biggest difference from watching the broadcast to watching it live is simply how obvious it is in person that these kids are exceptional athletes through and through. It was really a treat to get to see them perform live, and it gave me such a different appreciation for the work they do day-in, day-out in the gym.

10. I love, love, love this sport. 

Originally posted by swagslikemags

They say Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul (that pricks and stabs your skin, it claws at your heart) and sings the tune without the words (uselessly, foolishly, stupidly you listen) and never stops at all.
Hope, hope has long since soard above this city’s walls. It wasn’t welcomed anymore.
Hope is the poisonous song you hum under your breath, never dare to sing it out loud because it’ll corrupt your mind.

O hope with fickle wings, grow another stronger pair and come back again. A kid holds a tattered teddy bear -arm about to fall out, cotton peaking through the last two stitches that hold his arm in place- asks me about his sister. Says he’d give his only friend away to have his school back. The teddy does not cry, his buttons of eyes has long fallen out.
Silky lies spill from my mouth, needles pricking my throat. Honey lies, because honey is what kids deserve (honey; hapiness, hope, help) lots of it. The teddy’s arm fall to the ground. Small Men don’t need teddy bears afterall.

O hope please come back, for the truth is uglier than the cruelest honey lies.
Lies leave a sour taste on my tongue, while truths burn and scald.
How about a bland taste as a start?

The teddy does not cry.
The city laughs in the background sinsterly sweet. Sweetly sinster.

anonymous asked:

Dude; I'm Hagrid stuck in a 5'3" female body. I can't keep a secret to save my life, would love nothing better than live on the edge of a community with all the animals possible. The uglier and more unloveable the better. Seriously, I would I'll for a naked mole rat!

This one made me laugh out loud.  YES.  The honesty and introspection and hopes/dreams/loves in this answer are so refreshing.  Wishing you the best, Hagrid!  (Hagrita?  Rubeussa?)  May you live happily ever after with your future ugly pets on the edge of nowhere with no secrets to worry about.

anonymous asked:

Jealous Rae is cute! Requesting Rae walking in on Starfire and Beast Boy 'exchanging languages'

This one was easy to write for ^_^

Whatever Raven expected to see when she walked into the common room, it certainly wasn’t what she did see: Starfire, locking lips with Beast Boy. When they separated, he looked guiltily at Raven, fearful he had damaged what he hoped was a burgeoning romantic attraction between the pair. For her part, Raven felt it as well, but right now she felt one of the uglier sides of affection: jealousy.

“Rae! It isn’t what you think! Star’s been hounding me to learn Swahili all week and I gave in and… yeah,” he ended lamely, largely because he had enjoyed the kiss more than he thought. Starfire blushed as she smiled sheepishly.

“It is the truth, Raven. The kiss was intended purely for language transfer and any pleasure we derived from it it entirely coincidental,” she insisted. Raven only raised an accusing eyebrow while Beast Boy face-palmed. Raven sighed, knowing her friends were innocent. Dumb… but innocent. Still, even if she couldn’t get mad, it didn’t mean she couldn’t get even.

“Hey Starfire. You ever wanted to learn latin? Ancient greek? Sumerian? Azarathian?” Raven asked. Starfire clapped her hands together and smiled broadly.

“No! But I do now, very very much!” she sang. Raven stepped forward and put her hands either side of Starfire’s face, her thumb gently rubbing her cheek. With lidded eyes and a ghost of a smile, Raven leaned in and slowly pressed her lips to Starfire’s. Her right hand slowly traveled down Starfire’s arm before moving round to her back and splaying out, pulling her nearer. Her left hand moved up and delicately ran through Starfire’s hair to her shoulder before resting there. Their mouths hadn’t opened but Raven had applied rather more pressure than Beast Boy had, and when the kiss ended, Raven’s right hand returned to Starfire’s face and just barely caressed her jaw with her fingers before Raven stepped back.

“Did you get all that, Star?” Raven asked, smiling. Starfire, red-faced and arms limp, blinked at her.


“I’ll take that as a yes,” Raven said, resuming her journey to the couch but aiming a victorious smirk at Beast Boy, who stood wearing a slightly more envious shade of green on his skin.

The smirk had two meanings and both were clear: first, whatever this had been, Raven had won; second, if he played his cards right, maybe Raven would kiss him like that. 

He hoped so.


do you? - Ian

A/n: Requested by @elliemental2 : your family pressures you to have kids but you don’t want one.


“So, when are you two going to have a baby?”

The question drops like a bomb in the middle of all of the members seated at the table and the atmosphere visibly tenses. Your hands stop cutting the meat, eyes frozen on the plate in front of you. This is why you hated visiting your family: someone always will have something stupid to ask. A question that would make you uncomfortable and ruin the already thin spell of peace cast upon the table. 

Ruin the mood. 

‘You should’ve expected this, [name]’ you sigh softly, your fingers clutching the fork and knife in your hand tightly. You begged Ian to ignore your mother’s call when she asked for dinner together—just because you didn’t meet in so long, what a stupid excuse! What was wrong with just talking on the phone? Why did you needed to see each other? You didn’t want to go through this face to face. ‘Come on, just this once,’ Ian persuaded you. ‘It can’t be that bad. Give them one more chance. Maybe your parents changed their minds.’ You only gave him a stern look. ‘My parents will never change.’ But bless his heart for trying to reconnect you to your family after so long. 

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kavesinisukka said:
Prompt time: I’ve been wanting Derek to come back to BH with that ridiculous 70s pornstache Hoechlin has in his new movie. And Stiles just being unable to get over it.

Okay, this is just ridiculous, I hope you enjoy it :)

“I don’t understand,” Stiles says, sitting on top of the picnic table in his backyard.  He frames out Derek’s face with his hands, squints his eyes a little, like maybe he’s imagining it. Nope, still happening. “Do you think he lost a bet with Cora?” His hair is feathering, he looks like he should be wearing tube socks and a brown leather jacket. He’s a pair of BluBlockers away from being a 70s porn star, it’s ridiculous.

“He seems more relaxed,” Scott offers with a shrug.  He’s tapping his fingers on his knees and staring at the burgers his dad’s grilling and probably only paying sixty percent attention to what Stiles is actually saying.

That Derek has shown up after nearly a year of being gone and is suddenly chewing gum. How his big shoulders hang loosely under a too-tight ringer t-shirt.  How he throws his head back when he laughs, and blushes when Stiles’s dad claps him on the shoulder, and how there’s a big hairy mustache over his upper lip and no one is mentioning it.  No one is bringing it up at all, how there’s possibly a dead animal attached to Derek’s face now; it’s big enough to be a squirrel or a small kitten or a ferret—what is happening here?

And the real tragedy of this entire situation, the thing that is hurting Stiles, deep down inside, is that whatever is going on with Derek is totally doing it for him.  Crap.

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Slowing Time

Originally posted by fabraywrites-moved

Pairing: Alex Summers x Reader

Request: “Oh I know one that I want you to do if it possible. Can you make reader a mutant who has the ability to control time and Charles sent Alex to eat check over her. There he witness the reader is being bully, but she activates her mutation since a bully had scissors to cut her, but she grabs the scissors and starts to cut the bullies hair and clothing. When the reader was done Alex soon notice reveal himself and takes her to the school there she soon takes a liking to him. Can the bullies be girls?”

Warnings: Bullying

A/N: Alex is a little younger in this, since the reader is still in school. Also, I used a knife instead of scissors, I hope that’s okay 

You headed toward the front doors of your school, wanting to get out of there as fast as you could. The usual pack of girls that loved to tease you always showed up right after class ended, insults at the ready. You hated them, but you had always managed to keep yourself under control with your mutant powers. But unfortunately, one day they pushed you to your limit.

“Hey, Y/N. You’re looking uglier than normal today. Is that a new shirt? Where did you get it, the trash?”

You tried to ignore the main girl’s stinging words, wrapping your arms tight around you.

“We all heard about your blunder today in class. I didn’t know you were so stupid.” The girl continued on, twisting her hair around a finger, the rest of her friends giggling behind her.

“Shut up,” you muttered, pushing your backpack’s strap further up your shoulder.

“Did you hear them? Shut up.” She mimicked your voice in a higher tone, her mouth twisted into a cruel smile. She leaned forward, whipping a knife from her pocket, slinging it from hand to hand. “Make me.”

“Okay,” you growled, spinning around. You let your mutant powers go, freezing time. The girls froze right in front of you, the lead’s hand outstretched to catch the knife. You snatched the knife out of the air, tightening your fist around it. You could do it, you had the power right now to stop her bullying forever.

But as you raised the knife, you cursed, letting it clatter to the floor. You couldn’t do it, no matter how much you wanted to. It would make you just as bad as they were. Instead, when you unfroze time, you picked the knife back up, twirling it in your hand with a grin on your face. The lead bully looked around for her knife, stepping back when she saw it in your hands.

“But how-“ she whispered, frowning. “How did you get it?”

“You could say I’m a little stronger than you think,” you hissed, bringing the knife closer to her face. Her eyes crossed trying to keep the blade in view.

“I suggest you get out of here before I ruin that face of yours,” you growled. The girl screamed, tripping backwards. She stumbled and ran along with the rest of her friends, leaving you to fold the knife back in and stuff it in your pocket in accomplishment. You turned around, ready to leave, when you bumped into someone else. You muttered an apology, stepping around them. But they grabbed your arm, making you freeze in your tracks.

“Hey,” you spat. You glanced up, meeting their eyes. It was a blond man that held your arm, his face not mean, but kind.

“I saw what you did there with those girls,” he said. Your heart sped up at his words.

“You did?”

“Yes. You have an amazing ability,” he told you. You snatched your arm back, furrowing your brow.

“Who are you?”

“Alex. Charles Xavier sent me. He wants to see if you were interested in coming to his school,” Alex informed you.

“What school?” you scoffed.

“One for people like us. Mutants.”

You paused at his words, looking him up and down.

“You’re a mutant too?” you asked incredulously. Alex nodded. You sighed, dipping your hand in your pocket to play with the knife involuntarily.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” You didn’t trust people, especially with all of the lies you’ve seen circling around the whole mutant population, over the media and otherwise.

“Trust me,” Alex said, grinning. “I wouldn’t lie.”

You studied his face, searching for any inkling of a lie or doubt. You thought about staying at your crappy boarding school, your parents having thrown you out long ago, or going with Alex to a school where you’d be accepted. The decision was clear.

“I’ll go,” you relented. “But if you’re really a mutant, can you show me your power?”

Alex heaved a breath. “I can’t, I’m sorry. It’s hard to control, I might hurt someone.”

You nodded, biting your lip. “Well, let’s get going I guess.”

“Do you need to get anything from your room?” he asked, holding the door open for you. You glanced over at the dormitory building, shaking your head.

“I don’t have anything.”

Alex only gave a slight nod, leading you to a parked car on the side of the road. You frowned when you saw a figure in the passenger seat, pausing at the rear door.

“You can get in,” Alex prompted you, sliding into the driver’s seat. You opened the car door, sitting down stiffly. The person in the passenger seat turned out to be a man. He turned around, offering you a wide smile.

“I’m glad Alex persuaded you,” he said. He held out a hand. “Charles Xavier.”

“Y/N,” you said shortly. Xavier nodded once, Alex starting the car.

“You’ll like it at my school,” Xavier smiled. “I promise.”

The rest of the trip to the school, including the plane ride where you met Hank McCoy, was silent besides the odd offhand comment about something or other. When the plane finally landed, you stepped outside gratefully, Alex close behind you. Your jaw dropped when you took in the enormous building that stood before you, rolling green grass and trees going for miles behind it.

“This is the school?” You asked incredulously.

“Yep,” Alex, shot you a grin. “What do you think?”

“Its huge,” you breathed, stepping forward towards the huge entrance doors. Alex chuckled behind you, Xavier following in his wheelchair while Hank finished up inside the plane.

You entered the school, your eyes growing wide at the sight of all the students inside. They were all laughing and talking, some with obvious mutations, and some without. You walked in hesitantly, still staring in awe.

“I think I’ll like it here,” you said confidently. And you were right. Over the next few weeks, you quickly got used to the classes and the teachers, though the homework was significantly harder than your other school. You found Alex sitting outside after school one day, your backpack heavy on your shoulders. You plopped down next to him, slinging your backpack off.

“Lots of homework?” he asked, looking at your over-stuffed backpack. You blew some stray hair out of your eyes.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you answered breathlessly. “But honestly, I’m glad to do it.”

You looked around the grounds at all of the students, showing their mutations openly and proudly.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you said, glancing over at Alex. He shrugged, smiling. “I’m glad we found you. You’re one special mutant.”

You blushed, looking down at your lap. Alex heaved himself to his feet, offering you his hand.

“But we’ve got places to go, things to do. It is a Friday, after all,” he said. You took his hand, standing up with him. He slung an arm around your shoulder, bringing you in to his side, your backpack on your other shoulder. You walked with him happily, lighter than you felt in a long time.

Snow Storms and Sleepovers

December 4th - Snow | Day four of my 25 Days of Miraculous!

Some chlolyanette for @squirrelstone! This was longer than I expected it to be, and also it’s 14 days late I’m so sorry. Thanks for requesting, I hope you enjoy it!

AO3 | Commissions

Chloe Bourgeois hated snow.

Sure, it was pretty at first, beautiful even. And then, it turned to nasty, dirt-infused slush that made the ground slippery and uglier than it had been before. It also made her get up earlier to go to school, because the traffic was even worse with it, if that was possible.

Her biggest reason for hating it, though, was because it reminded her of herself. It reminded her how beauty was ephemeral, and once she lost that, she would be just as ugly as the slush.

That’s why, when Chloe finally got to school, her signature Chloe Bourgeois Scowl was in place, scaring off the underclassmen that didn’t know her, and knew instead the terrible rumors that still circulated these halls.

Ignoring them, she made her way to class and, the second she stepped through the door, she was instantly bombarded by cheers.

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