this is truly terrible i am sorry everyone

“ENOUGH OF THE GAY STUFF”

Sent to my website email this morning - Subject: Enough Message: Enough of the gay stuff on Bright Sessions. Please we are begging you. Sent on: June 2, 2017.

So here we are, two days into PRIDE month. How’s everybody doing?

I’m going to start off by leaning into the mic and saying with full-throat clarity: “Fuck you…you fucking fuck”.

I am a gay man…and before that, I was a gay kid…a scared and angry kid who had so much internal homophobia brewing inside of him that he thought he might explode because nothing in the world was convincing him, or trying to convince him for that matter, that it was normal and okay to be who he really was. And I can tell you, when I was that scared kid, shows like The Bright Session were almost non-existent; and what a shame.

I would have cried from happiness if The Bright Sessions existed when I was a boy. Shows like The Fosters, Glee, Eye Witness, Riverdale, Shadowhunters…shows where I could see myself on the screen in a way all of my heterosexual friends could without question since birth. 

Today I turn on the radio…and 99.999% of the music is, narratively, written/produced with a straight audience in mind…and in some cases/genres it’s used to target and ridicule me and my sexuality.

I live in a world where gay men are being thrown off of rooftops and “exorcized” in Chechnya because they are seen as aberrations; less than…underserving of love and existence. I live in a world where in my own country, a venomous discriminatory fear-based movement validated by the election of their figurehead sent a resounding message that my rights are actually up for debate.

In a world where there is so little positive reflected back at me…so little out there saying that my truth and the stories that express my life and experiences on this earth are valid…in a world where I feel like every day and every breath is a stand to qualify my existence…In that world, I get a message that tells me “enough of the gay stuff”. 

So…to the person who sent this message, I feel sorry for you; I genuinely do…I truly, genuinely and absolutely do. How terrible your life must be, and how delicate your self-image must be to reach out and say something like that. At first look, the message is mean and evil…but then the shaky-ground of masculine fragility reveals itself, as it always does, and I pity you. 

This is Pride Month…It’s meant to celebrate the LGBT+ community and our allies by opening up to share the beauty and diversity of our lives with everyone. I am proud of who I am…and it took a damn long time to get here.

I can’t really speak for Lauren, our creator/show-runner, or the rest of the cast, but…we have a gay character, a bi character, a lesbian character and a “no labels at this time” character confirmed as canon in The Bright Sessions…and I’m here to tell you we will never “enough with the gay stuff”. We are here to celebrate the people and stories that matter to us…Caleb, Adam, Mark and Rose are my friends; these are the people I have in my life and I think you’d be lucky to know. So yeah, no…not “enough of the gay stuff”. 

*throws glitter in the air and walks off*

- Briggon 

Hello everyone. I want to say thank you to everyone who sent countless messages of support, love, and genuine concern. I feel absolutely terrible for making everyone worry about me. After nearly 2 months in the hospital I have been released and will continue receiving psychiatric care along with other mental health supports. I suffered organ failure from an attempted overdose, had a fracture in my neck from other things I tried to do to myself, and had other medical complications after my attempt. I am truly ashamed and so sorry I was so weak. I will try to respond to all of the messages I received but at this point I have over 100 messages to respond to. I’m so sorry for failing all of you

3

The Baelishes

Part I: This Was Their Thing

Part II: Finding the Firsts

Part III: The Merger

Part IV: Deadheading the Roses

I would like to take a moment to offer a huge thank you to all Baelishes readers!  As you’ve probably noticed, there’s been a longer wait in between chapters recently.  Which is not very like me.  There truly has been a series of unfortunate events (sorry, terrible humor over here) that has slowed my Baelishes writing right down.  I am hopeful that those days are over now and I can get back into my au.  I would like to announce that I am no longer on a beta-hunt!!!  And I honestly can’t thank everyone enough for sticking by me, this community has been a massive support.  

I know no words could ever fix what happened tonight but I send all my love, thoughts and prayers to all those affected by this event. To the friends and family of the 22 people who lost their lives, I am so sorry for your loss. To the 50+ injured, I truly hope you get well as soon as possible. To everyone affected in any way by this sick incident, I hope someday we can finally improve as a whole and move past the terrible attacks towards innocent lives. We have to get better.

King and Queen (Draco x Reader x Harry part5.)

Originally posted by letsguiltypleasure

DUE TO AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF ASKS TO BRING THIS SERIES BACK…WELL IT’S BACK!!!! Thank you everyone for the support! This is a very long overdue update, and I’m truly sorry. I’ve been struggling with ideas - writer blocks get me too, haha… 

ANYWAY, I think we have 3 more parts and that’s it! ^^ Hope you enjoy! <3

MASTERLIST.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 6.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Wallah sometimes you think you're doing/saying the right thing but you don't realize how stupid/mean you sound, and I am terribly sorry for this whole incident... it wasn't in my intention I'm sorry....

Forgiven dw everyone says things without realising what they truly mean spread love not hate right

Chocolate Mint Kisses - Akiyoshi Zaizen (One-Shot)

A/N: I’m literally one day late on posting this since it’s already the 4th of December here -cries-  I am terribly sorry for the delay, dearies! I had horrible writers block and it was just eugh. ;u;

But I truly hope y'all will enjoy it and happy reading! <3 I apologize if this wasn’t any good ;n; Writers block got the best of me.
——————————————————

“How much mint extract do we have to put in again?” Akiyoshi asked, staring at the small bottle.

It was the weekend and the both of you had decided to make some chocolate mint cookies for your family and friends, mainly because everyone, including the boys at work, were bugging the both of you to bake something ‘Christmas-y’, even though it was still early December.

“Exactly three drops. No more, no less.” You said, stifling a giggle.

“What?” He shot you a puzzled look.

“It’s just.. That!” Finally bursting into laughter, you pointed at his cute, red and frilly reindeer themed apron. You honestly never expected him to wear it, especially since he was pretty reluctant to get it when the both of you went shopping the other day.

Akiyoshi scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, obviously flustered.  "Y-yeah but y-you were the one that wanted me to wear it..“

"Yes, I did. Thank you for doing so, reindeer cutie.” You smiled cheekily, all the while feeling warm and fuzzy. It was the little things Akiyoshi did that made you fall in love with him all over again, even if it was something as small as wearing an adorable apron you got for him.

“Anyway, let’s get back to these cookies. So, you put the– WHAT IN THE WORLD!?” You felt something goo-like hitting the side of your neck, causing you to jump in shock.

At first your mind was in a frenzy, thinking that it was some kind of gross, mutated insect attacking you but then you slowly realized it was just.. Dough. Someone just threw cookie dough at you and the only person that could have done that was..

“Did you just throw this at me?” You turned to stare at Akiyoshi in shock.

“Just getting back at you for that comment.” He laughed loudly, clearly amused. “You should have seen the look on your face! It was priceless!

"Why, you..!” Without hesitating or thinking, you took a scoop of dough and smeared it on his face.

“ARGH?!”

“Take that!” You exclaimed, snickering and pointing at Akiyoshi who had an incredibly hilarious expression on his face now. “Who’s the one looking funny no–” Your mind was somewhere else, not expecting anything but either your boyfriend fighting back or flushing from ear to ear so when you felt something warm and soft press against your lips and a large hand gripping your arm and pulling you close, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp of surprise.

You could taste the sweet flavor of chocolate and peppermint as Akiyoshi kissed you deeply, his eyes half-lidded with desire. You couldn’t help but slowly wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer while you enjoyed the delicious kiss.

The two of you stayed in that position for a while, completely forgetting about the baking and only focusing on each other. Every time one of you tried to pull away, the other would start kissing again, never wanting it to end.

It was the way he bit your bottom lip, how he casually traced his tongue across your lips before ravaging your mouth and leaving you utterly breathless that made you not want to stop.

“We have cookies to bake..” Akiyoshi murmured in between kisses, his hands caressing your sides in a soothing yet sensual way.

“Should we stop then..?” You replied, nibbling his lower lip.

“I don’t know.. How about you choose?” He grinned, obviously making your life a little harder since you were extremely bad at making decisions. 

You glanced at the unfinished job on the kitchen counter, pondering for a bit before turning back to face your boyfriend and giving him a mischievous smirk.

“I choose your chocolate mint kisses.”

My Apologies...

Yesterday I logged on to tumblr and realized that I had done something terribly wrong. I had 2 pictures posted with the title “Geisha” not thinking it would have the reaction it did nor was it my intention to offend anyone. I did not choose the theme, hair, makeup or wardrobe but I did choose to shoot, edit, and share these images which I regret now.

I have since removed the images and instead of making excuses, I would like to let everyone know that I am TRULY SORRY and regret any and all disrespect it may have made you feel. I am a humble and respectful person and love all people regardless of race, color, or creed. It was a lapse in judgement to think those images were ok. I know most of you probably won’t believe me or will care but I feel really bad about it and obligated and socially responsible to send my apologies. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me in time.

Sincerely,

KM

Something that probably needs to be addressed

Recently a group of girls on Twitter have made it their personal mission to go after me and my personal life in some hopes to “run me off the internet” I suppose. Hiding behind computers attempting to hack my twitter, post my personal home address and cell phone number publicly, and defame my character in any other ways they can.

Recently they found an out of context quote that says I “hate fan accounts”. Now I will not defend this quote but my supporters deserve to know what was meant by it. In no way would I EVER say I hate a single one of my supporters, I would be no where without them and try my hardest to give back in any way I can. I love every single one of them. But as far as random fan accounts who think they have some right or duty to try and mess with my life, that is who that was directed to. You have NO right to intrude on my privacy like that.

To these people: I am truly sorry for whatever is going on in your life right now that you have to take it out on, and demonize a person on the internet rather than seeking professional support. I hope that one day you can realize why what you have done drove me to what I said. And lastly I hope that taking your anger out on me somehow made you feel better. Whether it’s bullying or problems at home no one deserves to feel that terrible, and I really hope you get happier.

So this is a formal apology to everyone who loves what I do. I am so sorry that you thought this was about you after all of the support you’ve given me over the last year. I will continue making my content for you and I love you so much. You make my life incredible. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Good morning.

As some of you may be aware, there have been some rumors circulating about my personal conduct with women in the comics industry. The accusation is that I’ve sent unsolicited intimate photos of myself to fans, colleagues, or possibly both.

Sexual harassment is incredibly serious business, and I believe anyone who has followed me for any period of time knows that I often speak against it. No one should be subject to such behavior. It’s invasive, disrespectful, and occasionally dangerous.

Have I sent intimate photos of myself to women before? Yes. I’ll absolutely admit to that. As a 26 year-old bachelor with a relatively healthy sex life in the internet age, these things happen. However, every photo sent was in direct response to either a photo received or a specific request.

Or so I thought.

Two years ago, I was engaged in two separate relationships with women whom I was sexually active with. Given the nature of these relationships, my experiences in past relationships, and various dialogues with these women, I thought it had been established within each relationship that intimate or explicit photos were acceptable, possibly even desired.

I GROSSLY misread the situation.

It has been brought to my attention that both of these women were uncomfortable with my behavior, and needless to say, I’m absolutely disgusted with myself. How I could so horribly misinterpret the situation confounds me, but that confusion pales in comparison to the shame of knowing that I did the very thing to these two women that I openly chastise people for on a regular basis. Also, beyond that, that these women felt this way for TWO YEARS without me knowing and attempting to make amends, which is wholly unacceptable in its own right.

I have reached out to both of these women and have made private apologies, but I felt it was my responsibility to make a public one as well. As stated earlier, I believe sexual harassment to be an incredibly serious issue, and while the harassment in question was a terrible and ignorant mistake, it does not change the fact that that’s what this was, and I accept full responsibility.

I strive to treat everyone with respect, as I feel those who know me personally or follow my comics work would attest, and as such I hope that helps frame how sorry I truly am that all of this happened. The best I can do is own up to it, acknowledge that I made an incredible error in judgement, and finally, make sure that I learn from this mistake and never repeat it moving forward.

In addition, if there’s anyone else out there who feels like I’ve made them uncomfortable, on any level, please let me know. Clearly I’ve misread situations before, and I don’t want to go years again thinking nothing’s wrong only to learn I’ve hurt someone.

Finally, I’ll be making a donation of $1000 to RAINN, as they’re an organization at the forefront of both preventing and aiding victims of sexual harassment and assault. Hopefully my small donation will in some way help them in educating even just one person, preventing another situation such as this.

My deepest, sincerest apologies to all.

-Yale

Corvosblink's End of the Year Follow Forever

As 2014 comes to a close, I just wanted to let everyone know just how thankful I am to have so many amazing followers and friends because of this website. I’ve only been on here for about a half a year, but it’s been a truly incredible ride. I wanted to make this Follow Forever to show my appreciation towards my favorite blogs and people. I hope 2015 only brings more happiness and gaming for you all :) Bolded means mutuals! I also have most likely forgotten a few of you and I’m so so sorry I’m terrible at organizing things like these!

Here are a few special mentions. These people are some of the best and have made my experience on Tumblr all the more better!                 anders-apostate anidewitt buymevideogames colonrutherford cowboybebutt demidorian desmondsbae forgetfulgoldfish garrussexkarian jingle-garrus-ass rinkydinkdagger yusufisthebae

#s - D

0stwick 1-800-assassins abstergo-entertainment abyssalhighdragon ahtabai ajayghaleofficial altair altair-ibn-la-badass andraste-is-a-reaper  apocalypticassass1n aquiladafirenze arcblader arkham-assassin arnodorian arnoscoat arnoscrotch assassinscreed awesomewerax babewardkenway baguetteblades bannorns banusalor beesvevo belovedgames biosshock bookerduhwitt burialatsky burritohno callmebooker carmine-brothers caterinaasforzas ccommandershepard charalanahzard charazardisbetterthanyou citadrell commander-cullen connorforever crazy-crazy-gamer cullenrutherford daaud deadsmondmiles ded-sec delsinsrowes dontjusthope drinkyourfuckingmilk dunwall

E - I

elcors element1414 elementzeros ezios-fine-ass federicodafirenze fenrism finalfantaji fishing-forwishes floralsorrel folkvir foreveranassassindesmond fortheloveofandraste frankyfontaine fyeahbioshock gaarrus garrusfuckarian get-in-the-animus get-your-ass-outta-my-creed geth-consensus girlplaysgame goldenqueenhen gothicrockingodess gristol hawke-vas-normandy haythamandthetemplars haythams hidden-blades-and-tomahawks his-name-was-lee hohomymistake honey—blood hythmknwy il-bel-mentore itsthelastofus

J - N

janinebrody jeffquisitor joel-ellie join-the-vox-populi joker-moreau kaldwins kandros kayuisama kenwayboots kyratiking kyrats lavellenn letsgetonwithit lizlord lyriumelf madeinmasyaf mehrunes—dagon melanielemayonnaise mervley minkling moirasburton mongoliantiger mrsattano murderoussantas natesdonutshop nerdsandgamersftw niiyora nothehawkguy notrevelyan 

O - S

officialdragonborn officialfemshep officialsergioramos ooathkeeperr paganmin paragon-playthrough pilotsatthedisco punk-popsicle purplehawke-redshep rachniqueen rapturish ratonhnhaketun ratplagued ratsplague redania robertlutece rockhardtrainer salzarslytherin santacomstock santaswhalers shepard-vas-thedas sheparded shepards-normandy sheploosboyfriend skyllianblitzkrieg sluttydelsin spacedaddygarrus ssv-normandy stillupsetoverlegacy stop-not-shoot stuck-in-the-fade surosregimes

T - Z

tali-zorahs templarsandhohohoes terminus-systems tevinterr the-automaton-assassin the-elven-wildcard the-league-of-hot-assassins the-rosa-in-fiore theillusivewoman theknifeofdunwall themohawkassassin thenerdyrenegade theprofessormordinsolas thisgamergirl thisgirlgames tloaak towblerone transversecity troybakerz ttrevelyan umcharted vakarianing vakaturian vashoths vincisomething we-are-assassins wedontgivethatup westilldontknowthedamage wirtpng youareindeedacassette youdjustcomeafterher yourwatchisbroken

An open letter to everyone affected by the DashCon fiasco.

First I want to say that I am truly sorry to everyone who feels let down by DashCon, in any way. With everything coming to light now and all the opportunities that the organizers have had to scam people, I am truly truly sorry to anyone who feels taken advantage of. It’s a terrible situation and I know many are saying they should have seen it coming, but I understand that excitement can cloud our judgment, I hope that we can all take this lesson forward and approach future situations like this with a more critical eye. Also, if you had a terrible time, speak up about it, do not be cowed into keeping quiet by others. Your experiences and your feelings are valid, and this is your place to express yourself, though do keep it respectful, please.

To everyone defending the con, I’m glad you got to meet nice people and have found a way to have a good time, but maybe you should look around and think critically about why others have been disappointed. This was supposed to be a convention, you were promised a grand scale (~5000 attendees) tumblr convention with special guests, professional dealers room, and a genuine convention experience. Not a small scale (maybe 1000 attendees) tumblr hangout in a massive hotel. Again, I’m glad you found a way to have fun, but consider why others are upset, and certainly do not attack anyone for expressing their disappointment and/or anger with the con. We are all entitled to express our feelings, even negative ones.

To the organizers of DashCon, I don’t know how much of what is going around about the $17,000 is true or not, but honestly it shouldn’t have happened. NO MATTER WHAT. It is an unacceptable situation, and no matter what the circumstances were, it should never have been allowed to get to the point where you asked convention goers for several thousands of dollars. I hope it is as apparent to you as it is to everyone else that you are not qualified to run an event of this scale, the entire idea was nice, but very poorly handled. One of the first things I ever learned about managing projects is ‘scope management’; knowing your goals, priorities and also LIMITATIONS.

I think the idea of limitations was lost on the excitement of planning DashCon, and that happens when inexperienced and unqualified people try to plan a large scale event. I don’t think any of you set out to hold a bad convention or scam people, but I do think that without proper management, an operation like this is vulnerable, to poor planning, to opportunistic individuals, and to failure.

None of the individuals on the team are professionals, and it’s showing, most obviously in the dismissive attitudes of the WTNV situation. You are more than Tumblr users now, you are CONVENTION ORGANIZERS, you cannot ignore your problems until they go away, attendees deserve an explanation, and “we don’t want to get into it, [and] PayPal was malfunctioning” is not an explanation, IT’S AN EXCUSE. “They were unwilling to wait.” Is also an excuse, when dealing with professional entertainers and guests, you do not make them wait, you do not pay them when you feel like it and you DO NOT DISMISS THE SITUATION AS A MINOR INCONVENIENCE. You do not abuse one of the main draws for your convention and a ball pit is not consolation, A REFUND IS CONSOLATION.

This behavior is a stain on the reputation of tumblr as a community, and on pioneering convention organizers in the future. Hotels and special guests will be far more leery of working with new start up cons going forward, I’m sure.

I hope everyone can take something from this year’s DashCon, be it new friends or a valuable lesson. I personally don’t wish to see it continue in coming years, and I don’t think it will, but if it does I do hope it is run properly and professionally and is able to provide an enjoyable experience for all the attendees.

Take me back... His POV

His anger started to flare, he had been on Taylor’s blog thing all night there it was. People were claiming that he didn’t love her like he should be. There were pictures of him looking bored at one of her concerts, pictures of him looking not so interested in their dates and just text posts pointing out that he doesn’t really post all that much about her. Some were even going as far as telling him that he was just a PR stunt and he couldn’t understand it, he hadn’t posted anything bad on this site why were all of them attacking him? He did a little more digging and recently things he posted. They were claiming that he was a sexist, racist pig that wasn’t worth Taylor’s time.

He went through a few more but had to stop himself, could they not understand that he posted some of those things as a joke? Did they not understand crude humor? Whatever the case they didn’t like it and he really didn’t blame them. Taylor was about kindness and equality but what he posted wasn’t, all that plus the drama Rita was blasting about him made it seem like there was no winning with these people.

He looked at his phone, he had just finished fighting with Taylor about nothing in particular but he couldn’t help it, these people were starting to get to him. Would it just be better if they weren’t in a relationship? Taylor’s fan would like it, the media would definitely have something to talk about and he guessed everyone would just leave her alone. He sat there thinking about it, if he was going to do this he better get it over with. It was going to break her and he couldn’t stay on a line if she was to cry. He pressed the little green call button and surprisingly she answered right away.

“Taylor…” He hadn’t expected her to pick up this fast and he was holding in tears.

“What is it?” She sounded so confused and he couldn’t help but smile, oh how he loved this girl.

“I’m sorry,” Calvin started to say, he truly was he knew that this was the end but he didn’t want to hurt her. He loved her too much for that.

“I don’t— Calvin what are you sorry for?” Her small voice ringing through his head like all of the new beats that he had going on right now.

“I’ve done terrible things Taylor… I shouldn’t be with you, you are too good for me. You are kind to people, you love with everything you have and yet here I am making everyone around you doubt your judgement. I don’t want your friends, fans and everyone else to hate you anymore,” he tried to tell her everything he had just witnessed, everyone hating on their relationship, everyone questioning her but it sounded like she wouldn’t listen.

“We all deserve second chances Calvin. Yes, you do say things that aren’t really necessary at times but… I don’t want anyone else,” her words rang out and he couldn’t help but want to cry, he was hurting her and all she wanted to do was make things better. She was going to be the death of him.

“You’ll be okay I promise.” He said as he hung up the phone, ending the call because he was going to cave and she needed someone so much more than him.

Calvin threw his phone on the seat right next to him, she might call back but he wasn’t going to answer. Cutting people off it what he best. He was a good runner, he ran away from problems, relationships, and anything that really didn’t coincide with his music. He wanted to dance and get the tall beautiful blonde out of his mind, she was everything that he didn’t really like but he fell hard for that women and he couldn’t understand why. She was the opposite of his type.

The night was going smoothly and he was starting to think this break up was the best, well that was until Kacey walked over to him and started to yank at him like she was trying to get him to dance with her. She was obviously drunker than shit and he wasn’t really into her. Yeah she was more like his type than Taylor was but he didn’t do that. He had boundaries and trying to take a girl when she is drunk crosses even the shadiest of guy’s line.

She started trying to kiss him and he heard a click, great Taylor was going to hear about this for sure. He stopped, why was he even caring what Taylor would think? He looked at the girl and grabbed her arm like it was nothing, since she wasn’t going to leave him alone he better find her a safe place to sit or something. His thoughts kept racing back to Taylor even though he didn’t want them to.

He finally went home around midnight, and nothing was the same. He walked in his house and was personally greeted by a punch in the face. He looked up to see who it was and he saw Burns just standing looking like he was ready to do it again. Even Burns knew.

“What the hell did you do? Were you thinking with your head or your dick? I mean neither really work properly so. But what did you do? Taylor was amazing for you, hell man she even liked me and that is hard to do when I don’t make it easy. Did you have to end it with her like all the rest of them?” Burns let out a speech that wasn’t really like him.

“Go the fuck away. I drank too much to listen to your shit Burns.” Calvin rubbed the back of his neck, he honestly was exhausted and he didn’t want to listen to this man.

“No, you don’t get off the hook like this. I supported you and your break up with Rita and all the others but not this time. Did you even give the girl a reason? I mean because it’s SO like you to just run without a word… Wait did you even tell her that you want to end it?” Burns looked at his best friend in shock.

“YES! I called Taylor and told her we were over, I called her and told her that I wasn’t good enough for her. That she deserved someone else that would treat her like the ray of sunshine that she is, that everyone thinks she is. Burns I let her go because it was the best thing for her,” Calvin yelled at his best friend and he felt like something in him just died.

He didn’t want the words to be true but he knew what he did was right, this women was beautiful in every way and she didn’t need a man like him ruining her image. Burns shook his head, he had never seen Calvin that shook up from a relationship. Calvin rolled his eyes and walked up to his bedroom, it was going to be a very long and lonely night.

As he suspected he tossed and turned the whole night, it didn’t matter how comfortable his bed was or how many blankets or pillows he had, he was cold and he couldn’t shake that feeling. He got up thinking that he should do something other than sleep, he had a home gym and that seemed like the best place for him to concentrate without really thinking about anything too much. Even his workout was half assed, he was in a slump and nothing was helping at all. Was this how girls felt after a break up? He wondered.

Two months later:

Calvin started to pace back and forth, he hadn’t been sleeping, that stupid cold feeling wouldn’t go away and he started to feel like a walking zombie. He ate but it wasn’t like he normally did, he hated these feelings considering that he never had to go through them. He was wondering if Taylor felt as bad as he did. Did she miss him like he missed her? Would she wake up in the middle of the night and reach out only to notice that he wasn’t there? God how he wished he could ask her all of these things. But that would be torture on her, that would be opening closing wounds and he knew better than that.

He looked down at the phone that was now vibrating on his table, his smile got wider than it ever had before.  He hadn’t deleted her number out of fear that she would call him and he wouldn’t answer. His heart was thumping loud inside his chest, did she want him back? He reached down and answered it.

“Hello?” He tried to act like he didn’t know who this was, didn’t want to sound too desperate.

“You left your things in my apartment… I was calling to ask you to come and get them or tell me where to ship them,” Taylor sounded anything but Taylor. He closed his eyes, her voice was empty and he couldn’t help but think that he did this to his beautiful women.

“I’ll come and get them… If that is alright. I’m in New York any way,” he asked knowing that

“I won’t be here today, but I’ll have Levi let you in if you need them,” he straightened, she didn’t want to see him and that was obvious but she couldn’t really be this hostile. Did she really have something to do? Was it a date? Had she moved on?

“Then tomorrow… I want to see you,” his didn’t want to scare her away but he wanted to see if she has moved on better than he had.

“Calvin. I think it’s best if you don’t say things like that. Come by or don’t it’s your choice,” Taylor hung up the phone and Calvin sat there running his hands through this hair, she was killing him slowly and he didn’t know if he was going to make it through today. Should he go to her apartment and take a chance of her not being there? He didn’t want that, he wanted to see her, wanted to hold her until she knew how much he really missed her.

How corny was that? He thought to himself. He felt like he had been shifted into someone who had more feelings than a fucking Nicholas Sparks movie. But he couldn’t help it… He looked down at his phone and thought about the one person who would know what Taylor has been up to more than she would even know. Austin was his reliable source for all things Taylor and hell he didn’t care how whipped that made him seem.

“Adam?” Austin’s familiar voice rang through the other side.

“Hey… Can I ask you something? I know it’s not fair of me to ask considering what I put her through but I need some clarity Austin. . . Anything but a go to hell,” Calvin closed his eyes and hoped for the best.

“Is this you trying to win her back? I mean it wouldn’t take much but is it? I just want to know before I give you any details about her and these past two months,” Austin’s voice was cold and as well it should be, this was his sister and he loved her more than anything.

“I can’t say that it isn’t. I love her that I am sure of, but I know that she would be better off if I wasn’t in her life… Or at least that is what I have been trying to tell myself.  Austin I don’t know if I deserve to win her back all I know is that I need to know if she has moved on,” Calvin felt a tear fall down his face, never in his life would he ever do this again.

“She isn’t okay without you Calvin… I mean she is trying but she hates going home alone after her and her friends go out, I guess that has something to do with sleeping alone ya know. The cats miss you, which is a clear sign of treachery in her eyes. She use to cry herself to sleep the first week you were gone… Don’t you dare tell her I told you that though? She hasn’t really been herself… She hurts Calvin and that was because you broke it off without even asking what she felt,” Austin laid down the hard truth for him.

“I can’t take that back Austin… You know how much her fans wanted her and I to NOT be together. I made her happy but that would only last for some time. You know how much her fans mean to her and to be a constant reminder that she wasn’t really on the same page as they were is something that I didn’t want to be. Austin I can’t take it back and I don’t think I would,” he tried to explain it to him.

“You were new Adam… They looked at you just like they looked at the rest of her boyfriends. Like you were someone that would hurt her when you left and that is what you did. Taylor’s fan will support her no matter the cost but they can’t support someone who isn’t one hundred percent there for her. Are you that person Adam? Can you be that person? Because if you can’t don’t try to win her back… She doesn’t need someone who can half ass a relationship anymore,” Austin and wise words hit Calvin hard.

“Well see tonight won’t we?” Calvin said not really wanting to tell him he was going to try and do everything possible to be her one hundred percent.

“I guess so,” Austin said a little too happy for Calvin’s liking.

He waited, he knew she was always home by at least ten unless it was concert days, which he had googled and he knew it was not, her tour had ended two weeks ago. He had been pacing back and forth down her hall way for the last thirty minutes now, could he really give her one hundred percent? He took in a very deep breath and went to her door. He knocked and waited, the smell of her baking was everywhere and he loved it. She had a sweet tooth like no other but those were the times that he loved to watch her the most. She would always look like she was running a marathon when she was baking, but she always had this smile that could light up even darkest days he had.

“I know you are in there… The smell of your baking is everywhere out here.” Calvin stated.

The door was thrown open in a matter of seconds, “What are you doing here? It’s late and I have things to do,” Taylor tried to sound tried and not so inviting but it didn’t come off that way at all, she was trying to flirt with him. He could be down with that, at least she didn’t hate him.

“I came by to get my things,” Calvin said with a smile.

“They’re in there,” she pointed in the small closet by the door as she was walking back into the kitchen. But that was the least of his worries right now, he was going to make her happy again even if it killed him.

“Taylor please look at me,” He grabbed her hand and turned her around.

“What?” She said harshly, which took him by surprise.

He couldn’t help but kiss her, he loved when she was angry with him. Her nose would scrunch up and she would look like Meredith, he always knew he cats had a little bit of her personality in them.  He felt her give in and that was enough for him to know that this was where he belonged, no matter how hard it was gonna be or how long it was going to take she had him wrapped around her beautiful fingers. She pulled away from him and walked herself into the kitchen. Why did he want this to be a little bit of an easier task than it will be?

He watched her for a minute, trying to see if there was any emotions left for him other than hate. She was avoiding his gaze like the plague but he knew she would give in if she at least felt any love for him at all. It took some time but he saw it, she was looking like she was going to cry. He didn’t want that, he didn’t want to hurt her again. He saw one drop and decided that he had to stop them before any more fell.

“Taylor look at me,” he said once again.

“Go away Adam.” Taylor used his real name, he knew she was upset.

“Never,” he said kissing the side of her neck that he was the closest to.

Chills ran down her spine as he started moving the kiss up her neck, a moan escaped her lips and he couldn’t help but laugh a little, that was the best sign he could’ve ever given him but he had to end it. He didn’t want her to burn down her apartment. “Taylor… The cookies are still in the oven,” he reminded her.

“Oh shit,” she walked over to them checking to see if they were burnt.

She tried to put them on the island table that he was thinking about putting her on but he stopped her and took her arm. “You don’t want those there. You’ll get burned later,” he told her with a hint of lust in his eyes.

He wanted her more than anything, wanted her more than life but by the look on her face she wasn’t going for it. What would it take for her to just let him have her? Even if it wasn’t sexual, he didn’t need sex, he needed her to hold him and tell him that what he did was wrong but she forgave. He needed everything she was, no matter how different that seemed.

“Oh no. Why don’t you have that girl you were pictured with meet up with you somewhere nice? We are not even going down that route,” Taylor explained to him.

“You mean Kacey? She was drunk and I was helping her to her seat… She got a little to touchy feely but there wasn’t anything happening there Taylor,” Calvin told her, really confused that she would bring her up. Was she jealous?

“I don’t believe that one bit. Adam just leave me alone. I’ve let it go, why won’t you?” She tried but he wasn’t falling for it, he wasn’t going to let her shove him away. His thoughts went back to what Austin said and he knew what he had to do.

“Because I love you. God Taylor these past two months have been hell. I can’t sleep, I hardly eat and every women I see is you. I don’t want to let it go because you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You said you believed in second chances right? Can I have mine? I promise I won’t mess it up,” he looked at her with deep regret in his eyes and he hoped that she truly believed him, he meant every word that he said.

“How do I know that Adam? I was happy! I had finally found a happiness in my life and you just came in and tore that apart! I was content in not having someone and you eased your way into my life and just let me high and dry… I don’t know if I can forgive that,” Taylor yelled at him and it hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew he hurt her he just didn’t know how bad it actually was.

“Then let me give you reasons why you should,” he leaned down and kissed her.

“Stop it Adam,” she pulled away from him.

“Never. I’m never going to stop until you forgive me. I know you want too. I called Austin and he told me that you aren’t yourself. He told me that you have been going out with your friends but you hate coming home. He told me that you’ve cried yourself to sleep more than you should have. He told me how much you’ve been hurting because of my stupidity. Taylor let me fix what I broke. I’m good at that,” he put his forehead on hers and his breathing became hitched because he felt like he was the broken one.

She looked at him only for a second and then nodded. It took him by surprise but he knew that shouldn’t waste any time she was giving him. He was putty in her hands and for the first time in a long time he was okay with that. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close as he could get her, she wasn’t smiling nor was she frowning at him. Her face was one that was hardly readable and he wished she would show any kind of emotion right now. But she was warm and he loved the feel of her more than anything so this was going to have to do.

“Let me take this back before we fell apart,” he whispered softly hoping that she wouldn’t stop him ever.

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Hope you like it!!