this is too much go on without me

lowpowermodeon  asked:

Jonghyun is my ultimate bias and I don’t know how to go on without him. Honestly call me over dramatic but everything hurts right now. I know bts is your blog but idk who else to turn to that’s as caring as you...I guess I’m in too much shock. Thank you for listening

it is not dramatic. this was a human who deserved better than what he felt and got. the system, the industry, the country let him and so many others down for not being responsible and acknowledging how serious and harmful mental health can become and letting it continue to be stigmatized, and pushed under the rug, as I though it does not exist. and even worse, looking down on and shaming those who do seek help. it is so stigmatized that people do not want to seek help because this information is put onto their resumes for employers or schools to see, it is seen as a sign of weakness and not a ‘stable’ person who should represent the company/school. so people do not seek the help they need, they are scared and suffer in silence

ignoring a problem does not solve it, it makes it worse and there’s clearly a reason why Korea has one of the largest suicide rates in the world

I felt these exact feelings a few months ago when news was coming out about top, only his friends, family, fans and most importantly, himself were lucky enough that he was able to be saved. and this is from two people who themselves have spoken about mental health and their own experiences with depression. yet here we are, as the list keeps growing bigger and bigger every year

it’s fucking disgusting.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can you do a Harry imagine where y/n can't get enough of Harry even though they been at it all day

Not Enough

Originally posted by thestylesgifs

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  • Yuu: "Mika, have you sent all the wedding invitations already?"
  • Mika: "Yuu-Chan, of course I have. No need to ask"
  • Yuu: "To my friends?"
  • Mika: "Yeah."
  • Yuu: "To Krul?"
  • Mika: "I've sent her one, too, yeah."
  • Yuu: "Shinya, Goshi, Sayuri, Shigure and Mito, too?"
  • Mika: "Yeah, Yuu-Chan, every single one of them received one."
  • Yuu: "...And Guren?"
  • Mika: "..."
  • Yuu: "Ah, come on, Mika. I know you can't stand each other but please. He took care of me all those years. Without him, I wouldn't be even alive anymore. So he deserves to-"
  • Mika: "Calm down, will you? I've sent him an invitation, too. Don't worry so much."
  • Yuu: "Really? Awesome, Mika. That really means a lot to me."
  • Mika: "Anything for you, my love."
  • Yuu: "By the way, what did you write him?"
  • Mika: "Well...just what everyone would write to their soon to be father-in-law..."
  • *Meanwhile, Guren opens the invitation*
  • Letter: "To Guren Ichinose,
  • Fuck your blessings, I'm going to marry him anyway on Christmas, the twenty-fifth of december in case you forgot the date you destroyed the world eight years ago and made our lives a living hell. I hereby invite you to participate on mine and Yuu-Chan's wedding from at least a 10 kilometre distance and don't think about sneaking any closer, I'm a vampire, I can sense you a mile away!
  • Sincerely, Mikaela Hyakuya"
  • Guren: "Wtf?!"

anonymous asked:

I just can't stop crying and it's tearing me apart. Knowing how much joy he brought into my life, and I can't ever help back. It just hurts so much. I still can't believe it's real. I want to help others too but how can i when i can't go 10 minutes without crying and I don't know what to do. Help.

You don’t need to help anyone right now. It’s okay if you are the one who needs help hun. It’s okay. We are here to help each other. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel pain, just don’t let it beat you. Be stronger, smarter, fight it. For you and for SHINee. 
And don’t blame yourself. please guys, don’t blame yourseleves. Xo, Ara~

Oh hey btw @queerstake, I wrote a piece on the history of Queerstake a few months ago and just received word that it’ll be published next year! It’s going to appear as a chapter in an academic book on queer youth history that’s published by Palgrave.

My goal was to preserve a small piece of queer Mormon history (Queerstake from 2013-16), and even though the audience is going to be mostly professors & grad students, I thought I would make this post to let everyone know that we’re famous now.

I’m trying to come up with a way to share it with the larger QS audience without publicly revealing too much about my own identity (or violating the eventual copyright), but if you’d be interested in reading the draft chapter, comment on this post or send me a message and we’ll figure something out.

Also, special thanks to @yo-gaymormon and @gracewillcarryme who proof-read the chapter back in September when none of us had time to do it!

liseegirl1214  asked:

Could I possibly get a letter from Davey? I love your writings by the way!

Hello Sweetheart,

How are you? I hope you’re fantastic. Les came down with a cold so I’ve been taking care of him for the past week or so. Poor kid. He’s getting better though. I haven’t got to see the boys much because of it. Dad isn’t too thrilled about me wanting to sell papes. He wants me to go back to school when Les gets better.

Anyway, I got a little off track. I miss you, so much. My hand feels so empty without yours in it. I hope I’ll see you soon. I love you.


-David Jacobs

anonymous asked:

Hey I know this is stupid but, how does one find a muse? I really want to start an ask blog but I just can't think of a character to do??? How did you choose Aizawa as a muse???

(hmmm well i chose aizawa because he was 1, easy to draw quickly, 2, because hes easy to rp as, and 3 because he was one of my favorite characters. for you, i would recommend going along the same lines. find a character that you really like and identify with. it really helps if you can draw them easily and quickly (it takes alot of stress off of answering asks), and its good to be able to snap into their personality without too much emotional strain. since i have alot of down moments, i personally have a hard time rping as someone more extravagant or upbeat, so aizawas chilled out personality was easier for me to fit into. i hope that helps bean!)

when you dip your toes in a variety of social groups ppl assume “oh! that person has lots of friends! they fit in everywhere they go” when really its more like “i actually feel like i dont belong Anywhere and i bounce around different friend groups and adopt mannerisms and colloquialisms to help me blend into a situation without sticking out too much and the loneliness that comes with constantly being in the periphery isn’t even worth the flimsy and hollow relationships you build anyway”

Man Up

by reddit user Pippinacious

When the bookstore at the mall put up its help wanted posters, I jumped at the chance to put in my application. Between being an avid reader who had practically lived amongst the store’s shelves in high school and a broke community college student taking a semester off to save money, it seemed still customer service.

Keep reading

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up


PAIRING: steve harrington x reader, billy hargrove x reader

summary: nancy breaks up with steve and he is a bit of a mess when you find him. being the new girl in hawkins you try to befriend and keep nancy off his mind. it backfires and now you have him falling in love with you, as you fight off the urge to fall in love with him, too. [THIS IS AN AU!]

warnings: swearing, sexual situations, violence

a/n: quentin tarantino is my favorite director and i really love old movies. so here’s this. lot’s of music in here. also, nothing too major happens now. just two characters meet. this is possibly the maybe first time i have such an independant/strong reader

if you like my stuff and want to support me, don’t forget to treat me to a KO-FI!


[ACT 2.]


“Hey, sorry to bother you. I wouldn’t be if… if you didn’t look like you could use some company.”

Your statement is met with silence as the unfamiliar guy in front of you lifts his eyes up to stare at you in bewilderment. Late autumn wind blows past and ruins your neat hairdo. Your hand grips the strap of your purse; you note tears glisten in his deep brown eyes and decide to look away so he’d have enough time to collect himself. The guy sniffles, rubs his eyes before giving you a tight smile; He opens his mouth to possibly dismiss you, but you beat him to it, “There’s no shame in crying. If you’re sad, you’re sad, right? Nothing you can do about it.” He sighs, “May I sit?” You inquire. After a moment of consideration, he gives a curt nod. And so you do.

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anonymous asked:

all these debates about whether shane or ryan is a demon well I say why can't they both be demons


  • shane does unsolved because he thinks it’s fucking hilarious to mess with this human embodiment of sunshine
  • except ryan isn’t human - but shane doesn’t know that
  • ryan does unsolved in order to track down wayward spirits and bring them to hell, and sometimes shane’s unrelenting skepticism makes him want to throttle the man, makes him wish he could just show shane this whole world he doesn’t know about (because he doesn’t know that shane is a demon, either)
  • except shane knows everything about that world
  • when they run into ghosts at various haunted locations, they both make equally terrible excuses to split up, both needing to speak to the spirit for different reasons
  • ryan wants to follow his duty and convince the deceased to go to hell (hopefully without them putting up too much of a fuss)
  • shane wants to make sure it knows that ryan is off limits and shouldn’t be harmed unless you want me to tie you up with a nice little ribbon and deliver you to satan personally
  • ryan being all worried about how shane might one day push his taunting a little too far and get hurt, because he may be related to bigfoot but he’s still human and has a fragile human body (again, little does he know…)
  • and now i’m just picturing shane and ryan standing back-to-back, eyes a solid inky black as they glare at any ghosts that wander a bit too close, both totally oblivious to what the other is doing
1. you are the first person i want to write about, even now. i could spend hours scribbling out shaky sentences about you and your wolf grin. it’s like i enjoy self-sabotage; you are the one thing i don’t want to think about, but the only thing i can. i guess this may just be how the brain works.
2. for so long, the poetry felt like a gift for you. look at this, it seemed to cry, look at me still thinking about you. does that make you happy that you’re still my muse? i want to say that now it is a gift for myself and my battered heart. it is how i let the pain out so it doesn’t kill me.
3. last week, when your username flashed across my screen, i had an anxiety attack. i hadn’t spoken to you in months. it made me realize that i had forgotten about you long enough for a reminder to make my hands shake and my throat clench. but i had forgotten, and that’s what matters.
4. the thought of seeing you again doesn’t make me want to throw up anymore. that doesn’t mean i won’t vomit when you show up, but at least i’m not crouching over a toilet at the idea of it.
5. i used to say you were toxic. it took me a long time to realize you had been more than just a bout of food poisoning. you were like too much to drink. you were like the robber smashing through my bedroom window. you were like the monster under the bed. you left me shaken and scared to touch a glass. to the window cracked on a hot night. to go to sleep without checking behind my bed skirt. 
6. you were abusive. and i think i had been saying you were without really realizing it. i think it took a lot longer for the after of us to hit than i thought it would. i thought the worst of it had passed, but i was wrong. the worst of it is here, now. because this is the happiest i’ve been and it’s because you’re not here and that, that is why. i thought you would be here for this. i didn’t think it would be because you’re not.
7. but i can say it now. i can say you were abusive and there’s a weight behind it. i don’t just say it in my poetry because i think it sounds more powerful. now, i say it because i can’t not say it. i can’t ignore it when it spends its time staring me in the face. i have to face it, i think. i have to say it enough times so that eventually, i can acknowledge the storm you brought to me without wanting to find shelter. eventually, i will no longer even feel the rain.
—  i am managing -c.h. // instagram: (via @poeticaffinity)

in the heights au: everything is the same except sonny is actually invited to ninas dinner

Aries: Darling, I love you in ways I haven’t discovered yet.
Taurus: There is no time, no days or months or years, no minutes or hours – there is only you and me.
Gemini: Somewhere between wanting to keep the tears of you running through my veins, and wanting the silence only you can speak to me out of my head.
Cancer: We were never meant to be together, but I still wanted to be with you anyways.
Leo: She has eyes of glass that hold sunsets he has never kissed, but maybe we’re just meant to always go the wrong way.
Virgo: The moon is a distant lover we shared our secrets with, only to widen the exit wound in the depths of a goodbye that hasn’t painted sleep without digging a grave for two.
Libra: I think of kissing your forehead every time you laugh.
Scorpio: Sometimes I imagine you counting clouds with me, and I forgive love.
Sagittarius: You’ve never been around, but I always feel you everywhere I go.
Capricorn: Maybe I dream too much of a version of us that will never become a reality, and all of these words are just me trying to come to terms with that.
Aquarius: Some nights are all whispers and faraway dreams, blankets of thorns exhaling questions through my lungs and a cup of uncertainties that stain the circumference of my palm. Some nights are stars blinking dreams through my hair and colored bruises wearing scented letters. Some nights, it’s just the world spinning in the direction against your name.
Pisces: Pain is knowing I’ll never make sense of how you left.

Why are drummers so underapreciated?!

Like seriously the drums are so important to every kind of music! They transmit the beat, speed and most of the times (this is now only my personal opinion) even the feeling of the song. Yet drummers in bands & just drummers in general get practically no attention. Like seriously in fob fandom it’s so rare that people talk about Andy and let’s not start about the P!atd fandom, we practically never really talk about Spencer for some reason (and don’t tell me it’s just because he left the band) and then there is the Black Veil Brides Army who are so obsessed with the leadsinger Andy Biersack that they practically never talk about the rest of the band (so you can imagine how many people talk about their drummer CC, which is kinda sad cuz CC is my favourite drummer in the whole world). The only drummer i can think of that isn‘t 100% underapreciated is Josh Dun from Twenty one pilots (but i think that‘s mostly cuz tøp is literally a 2 man band and if they had more members like fob or mcr then people would definitly forget about him too), yet even it tøp‘s case people seem to focus more on Tyler than on Josh.

And even outside of the big music industry i feel like drummers get underapreciated. Cuz i go to art school and at my school you can also study music, and our school has several spare instruments like several pianos, guitars, even cellos and freaking cemballos from the 19th century, yet we‘ve only got one very small drumkit but we‘ve got several drummer students.

So why is it that drummers get no recognition what so over? They put so much dedication into the music too, into their passion and without them and their work alot of the songs we love to listen to just wouldn‘t be the same. And let me tell you something, playing drums is hella hard, i tried to learn it once and failed miserably that‘s why i have so much respect for drummers and i think we should really give them all the apreciation and love in the world.

@pete-wetzel @the-black-melody @ladymyst3ry @bvbally @untilwedisappear @the-last-of-the-soft-boys @bandpsychoway

Originally posted by diizzyhurriicane

A contribution to the humans are weird trope.

One word: flashmob.

Just imagine, on a spaceship somewhere far, far away, there was a mixed alien and human crew doing their usual jobs. Suddenly, some music started playing over the speakers. The aliens were confused and asked the human technician to please turn it off because it was bothering the xertapians among the crew who could not concentrate. The technician tried to turn off the music but then one human started dancing to the music. And another human joined him. Soon, most of the human crewmembers were dancing in unison.

The alien captain turned to the human technician and said: “Human Anthony, what is happening?! Were they poisoned? Is there some form of mind control being exerted on them? Why are you not affected?”

Human Anthony replied: “Wait, what? That’s a flashmob. I can’t believe I am actually seeing one. I had seen videos floating around on the web but I never thought I would ever see it.”

“What is this… ‘flashmob’ you speak of, Human Anthony? Is it contagious?”

“Oh, it is some form of entertainment back on Terra. The dancers would plan ahead and create a choregraphy that they would do in a public space. It usually is a surprise. It seems pretty fun though, I think I’ll join in.”

“Human Anthony, you mean to tell me that you contort your body in these uncomfortable positions for fun? And that humans can move like this without sustaining injury?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty fun, but some people go way too far. I mean, my cousin once danced so much that she tore some ligaments in her leg. Didn’t stop her from going dancing again the next weekend. She is crazy, she aggravated her injury. Took a few more weeks to heal because she would not stop dancing. Well, I’m gonna go dance now, see you later!”

The captain turned towards his second in command and said, with the most terrified expression on his face “What are those humans made of? If this is how they act for entertainment, I never wish to encounter them in battle.”

Productivity hack

I know that bullet journaling is the latest organisation hack but not even for a million bucks will I shift my ass from Google Calendar.

First of all it’s supported by all OS so you can use it on an android phone + iPad + browser… and it syncs INSTANTLY, I SHIT YOU NOT. You can add an event in your phone and watch it pop up on your browser in ONE SECOND. No sync errors ever.

If you’re going on holiday and you want to scedule everything, you can even choose the TIMEZONE for your events, so when your phone clock changes timezone, the events will still show the correct time

If your plane / train / hotel reservation comes into your gmail inbox, it can sync dates and time and schedule automatically for you

Also you can invite people to events using their gmail address

You can make several calendars and make them visible or invisible

You can colour code events (there’s like ten whole pretty colours), set reminders which pop up as notifications and you can tick them done, set goals (like exercise more, read more etc) and it will be scheduled every day/week for you. You can choose to get notifications for events one day before, one hour before etc or no notifications.

You can schedule an event at a certain time for a certain number of days, or set an event to repeat weekly / monthly / yearly etc. Endless flexibility

If you get a task or homework, open up the app straight away and input a reminder for 9 days from now when you will do it. Voilà, no forgetting! / if you have a meeting next tuesday at 2, open up the app and check your schedule, and add the meeting so you don’t forget - you will never have to worry about forgetting things

You can choose for it to automatically show yearly holidays in your country (easter, may day, christmas etc) and sync birthdays from your google contacts.

Since Google maps exists, thank God, you can even sync an address to an event and just tap it to open and get directions in the Google Maps app

You can attach a file like pdf to the event etc.

You can always work offline perfectly

There is literally so much GCal does for me, nothing is lacking and my schedule is always within reach no matter what device I have

And if you want to go analog, it makes it easy to print out your calendar

And like a bullet journal, you can still go back and see what you did on what days, even years past, but without having to worry about carrying a solid A5 sized notebook around

I recommend it for everyone, especially students. And you can download it even on an iPhone! If you have iCalendar you can migrate it to Google calendar too! The possibilities are endless! And just a note that I personally am more of a paper person (a hardback not a kindle type) and even with GCal you can still write your schedule or to do notes on paper if you’d like, but 1) you won’t worry if you lose or forget it 2) you can’t schedule all the way into 2020 on paper but with GCal, yes you CAN 3) you can access it literally anywhere and edit it offline - it genuinely has no cons

Omens, Goblins, and Suicidal Wolves

So, the Friday Game I’m in had been running for a few weeks. We had a small party consisting of a gnome rogue (me), a warforged sorcerer, a human ranger/alchemist, and a human bard. Though the party had been through some stuff together, due to some character related reasons (gnome’s a racist, ranger is dependent on potions, bard is … a bard, and the warforged takes everything literally), the group hadn’t quite been able to mesh well. Particularly when it came to combat. (Two of us had already died and been resurrected.) But, what I’m about to recount to you is the wonderful mayhem that happened once we got a FIFTH member of our little band, a human cleric.

Highlight 1:

(Setup: My gnome, upon learning the cleric was going to be joining our group, immediately set up a prank, placing a booby-trap on the door to the cleric’s room so that when he woke up that morning, he’d set off a trap that would cover him in flour if he didn’t make the dex save. He didn’t.)

DM: Alright, as you open the door of your room and step out into the hallway … a ton of flour falls over your head, covering you completely.

Cleric OOC: Hold on, I have to check to see what sort of omen this is. *rolls percentile dice*

DM: And?

Cleric OOC: It’s a good omen! ((He’d been rolling bad omens until then.))

Party: *bursts into fits of laughter*

Ranger OOC: I see this right? I’m in the hallway, going to my room. I f'n see this, don’t I?

DM: Not only do you see this priest get covered in the flour prank you know that the gnome set up, you also see him pause for a moment and then nod to himself and say, “Good omen.”

Party: *begins to die of laughter*

Ranger: *rolls their eyes* And you said I was the weird one. *walks into their room*

(The Cleric continues the rest of the session still covered in flour, having not even bothered to try and clean it off.)

Highlight 2:

(Setup: The party is sitting down and discussing how to best deal with the threat of the goblin warband that had formed just outside the village. My gnome had been slinging insults at the cleric most of the morning and was far too pleased with the prank’s success. Side note: My gnome DESPISES goblins to her very core.)

Cleric: So sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t really know much about goblins, you see. Would someone mind telling me a bit more about them? Should I be worried?

Me: (attempting to frighten the cleric) *grins* Oh, goblins are vicious. They’ll rip your throat out as soon as look at you.

Cleric: *immediately and without thinking* Kinda like you then? *eyes go wide as he realizes what he said*

Entire table: *a mix of shocked faces and people holding back laughter as I reel back in shock*

Me: *raises eyebrows and fixes the Cleric with a death glare* … Excuse me?

Cleric: I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!

(I proceeded to glare daggers at the Cleric throughout the rest of the strategy meeting.)

Highlight 3:

(Setup: We’d made our way to the goblin caves, implementing a strategy of distraction to lure most of the goblins away from where we’d be infiltrating. We were inside the caves, having killed a couple of goblins already when two wolves came out of the darkness. One had already been shot with a crossbow bolt, and our bard had been holding his action to do vicious mockery on the next enemy that came into range.)

DM: *moving the pieces across the play mat* So the wolves charge forward and-

Bard OOC: Oh! I was holding my action! Can I do a vicious mockery?!

DM: Okay, which one do you mock? They’re charging at the same time, so they come into range at the same time.

Bard OOC: Does it matter?

DM: Well, one has a crossbow bolt sticking out of its side where the gnome had shot it, and the other one hasn’t been hit by anything yet.

Bard OOC: I’ll mock the one that the gnome hit.

DM: Mock away.

Bard: Hey wolf! You’re so stupid! You let stupid orange morons ((Referring to the goblins)) tell you what to do!

DM: *rolls the saving throw* And it failed the saving throw. What’s the damage?

Bard OOC: *rolls the damage* *jokingly* Please don’t tell me I demotivated it to death? *laughs*

DM: *smirks* As the wolves charge forwards, this one hears your shout. It pauses and then decides that you’re right. It takes a sudden turn and plunges into the river where it gives up and drowns.

Entire table: *laughs as the bard looks horrified*

Bard: Wait-no! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!

DM: -You cry out as you watch the wolf’s body, still covered in faerie fire wash downstream.

Bard OOC: Well now I just feel like a horrible person. I didn’t think it’d actually kill it!

Highlight 4:

(Setup: The boss of the caves has appeared behind us, the hobgoblin who has formed the other goblins into the warband. The target we decided to attempt to take out.)

DM: *as hobgoblin* You, you lot must truly have a deathwish. You come into MY home, burn down MY forest, and kill MY people without provocation- *clearly has more to this speech*

Me OOC: Yeah, my gnome is gonna try and shoot this guy in the throat.

DM: *pauses* Really?

Me OOC: Yeaah … Also, I was hiding. Am I hidden from him? Cause I’m pretty sure I get advantage and sneak attack damage if I am.

DM: What was your stealth roll again?

Me OOC: Modified 20?

DM: *rolls dice* Yeah, he doesn’t see you. Roll with advantage.

Me OOC: *hits* So, as I shoot my crossbow, I scream “For Tordek!” ((The gnome’s mentor who was killed by goblins))

DM: *sigh* You interrupt the hobgobin with your cry and the bolt hits him in the shoulder. He pauses and then laughs.

DM: *as hobgoblin* Fine then. If you want to hasten your death …

DM: Aaand we’ll end it here for tonight.

Entire table: *groans*

(On the way home, I complained about the cliffhanger, and the DM complained about me interrupting his speech in return.)