I know I've made a lot of progress
Roughly a year and a half ago I was in the final battle of the worst relationship I have ever been in. It is something I really don’t talk about a lot. The emotional abuse I had to face daily destroyed who I was. I felt worthless and like nothing would get better so why leave the one person that at least gave me attention? I was not in control of my own life anymore, he controlled me. The other abuse that I faced, however, is something I may have talked about once in my entire life. The sexual abuse I had to endure was equally as life-changing. If I did something that he felt the emotional abuse would not resolve, then I was forced to participate in sexual acts that I did not consent to. I repeatedly voiced to him that I did not want to do these things, but I was always afraid of the repercussions if I ever pulled away when he forced himself upon me. Towards the end of our relationship, I took away the possibility for the sexual abuse to continue. I would not let him touch me at all, I learned how to stand up for myself. All this did was make the emotional abuse worse and I never felt like I was enough for him, my friends, my family, or anybody else. I wanted nothing more than to run away from it all but I didn’t know how. I never even noticed the abuse until the week the relationship ended. My friends helped me see clearly and once I could see I was good enough and that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way I allowed him to treat me, I was able to free myself from the toxicity that I was enveloped in for the longest I have ever been with somebody. Today, I have come so far. I still struggle with my self-worth, but I’m able to identify toxic situations and either resolve them or remove myself entirely. I have made so much progress in a year and a half, and I’m so unbelievably proud of myself for that. I may be an over-trusting individual and I let people get close too quickly but in the end I’m still able to not let myself get into a situation like that again and I firmly believe in my ability to continue to do that for the rest of my life.