this is the ugliest thing ever

since we’re on the subject of hp let’s talk about how the ugliest and most codependent thing james and sirius ever did (which is.. huge since they did many ugly and codependent things) was invent wizard facetime so they wouldn’t have to be apart

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Critical Role + Guide to Troubled Birds, pt. 1

Bonus Matt:

i spent like, a good hour on this and it’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever done forgive me 

Part 2

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we put these jellybeans on a scale when i was trying to think of all the things i like about you. and i was trying to decide what i needed to do. it means you riley. i choose you. and i really want you to choose me. i do. i always did. i have something for you too. you do? we have this one little life, and for a lot of it, we just blow around in the wind. but if we’re lucky and we believe that life knows what’s best of us, sometimes we land on the right person to talk to. i’m glad i fell into your lap. so am i. 

Tfw you love your GF but hate the awful sweater she’s forced upon you. They love each other, I swear. 


Eking in an adorable piece of modern au art I commissioned from the fabulous @nippaaah of Curly and the birb being…well, themselves. 

anonymous asked:

you should make a part two to that blurb about furniture shopping but this time the ugly chair just came and you ride him on it

Part One

God this thing was ugly.  Who the hell put paisley and fish together?  You were sure Anna Wintour put it in some Vogue issue hence the reason Harry just had to have it.  Even the men who delivered it side-eyed you as they unwrapped it from the brown paper and plastic.

So here it was.  The ugliest chair you had ever seen.  And it was in your living room.  You sighed as you glanced around.  He would insist on having the chair where people could see it.  

There had to be a better place to put it though.  Some place where both of you could-

“Ohhhhhh yeah baby!”  He yelled as he emerged from the kitchen behind you.  His voice so loud it caused you to almost jump out of your skin.  He walked towards the chair, “Look at this masterpiece…how beautiful it goes with the wood?  I told you.  You just wouldn’t listen though.”

You bit your lip, the gears in your head turning as you watched him survey his monumental furniture purchase.

He was still in his workout clothes, having just returned from the gym.  His biceps were glistening with sweat and you just knew his hair was soaked with it underneath his backwards hat.  

You quirked your brows as an idea popped into your head.  

You walked towards the chair, nodding gently as you stared down at the fabric,

“Alright…I will concede that it does look decent enough with the wood floor.”  You looked up at him, “Is it comfortable?”

Harry shrugged,

“Don’t remember.  Let me check…”  He sat down, a huge grin popping up on his cheeks as he looked up at you, “Like a cloud.”

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Hocus Pocus {Sentence Starters}

  • “I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine.”
  • “You’re the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!”
  • “Damn, damn, damn, double damn!”
  • “Look just do this one thing for me, and I’ll do anything you say. Please?”
  • “It’s just a bunch of hocus pocus.”
  • “Say what you want; just don’t breathe on me!”
  • “You know I’ve always wanted a child. And now I think I’ll have one… on toast!”
  • “This is terribly uncomfortable.”
  • “Don’t get your knickers in a twist! We’re just three kindly old spinster ladies.”
  • “Wait ‘til you see what I’m gonna call you.”
  • “Aren’t you broads a little old to be trick or treating?”
  • “Okay that’s it, party’s over! Get out of my house!”
  • “Oh man, how come it’s always the ugly chicks that stay out late?”
  • “Why was I cursed with such idiot sisters?”
  • “Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick!”
  • “It’s a full moon tonight. That’s when all the weirdos are out.”
  • “Oh, I’ve been there thank you, I found it quite lovely.”
  • “Sucking the lives out of little children!”
  • “Of course, I couldn’t wear anything like that because I don’t have any… What do you call them? Yabbos?”
  • “Amok, amok, amok, amok, amok!”
  • “Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don’t think there’s gonna be a problem.”
  • “Pull over! Let me see your driver’s permit!”
  • “I had to wait three hundred years for a virgin to light a candle.”