this is the trans i wanted more than any other

on being a young butch lesbian at Pride 2017

This year I went to my first major pride festival in a very queer-friendly city. Amongst the many groups and vendors being advertised I managed to find one solitary lesbian group. It was comprised of older women, just a social club, nothing political. I enjoyed speaking with them and moved on. Meanwhile I noticed many people who looked very much like me with organizations for transgender health and nonbinary awareness etc. This was also very good and I enjoyed speaking with these people, most of whom were closer to my age. I had a great time but I was left wondering where my people, the twenty something butch dykes, were. 

For all its silliness, some good things have come out of modern queer politics in my book. With the huge emphasis on hyper-proliferation of new identities, it seems that many younger people feel more comfortable than ever expressing themselves. Self definition can be liberating. And I suppose that is the goal. But I must admit that I find it extremely isolating that no one who looks like me calls themselves a lesbian anymore. At least, not people of my generation. I meet female people who date women and who are gender non conforming and more often than not they are trans men, or nonbinary, or some other identity with considerable and deliberate distance from womanhood and from lesbianism. I would never want to take away someone’s ability to self define nor would I ever want to disrespect it. But there is no doubt that I have more in common with other female, gender nonconforming people who love women, regardless of whether they view themselves as lesbians or not, than I do with any other group of people. My main point of mourning I guess is not the new identities themselves, but that the proliferation of new identities for gender non conforming female people has made it near impossible (and a social taboo of sorts) for us to discuss and even admit our similarities. That is, in many ways, the purpose of these alternate identities. Delineate yourselves from womanhood and lesbianism to become something else, quite literally. I yearn for lesbian community but community with other gender non conforming female people would absolutely be sufficient if these people, my peers, were willing to admit how much in common we have despite our terminology difference. Denial of this viewpoint seems to be a priority. I am more than willing to respect their identities if we could just talk about our overwhelmingly shared experiences.

There is an added sting, of course, when I meet nonbinary and transgender female people who feel bent on letting me know that my identity as a lesbian is less radical than theirs. I can’t think of anything more radical than women wholeheartedly loving each other, what I consider to be the most central part of my lesbian identity, but at the end of the day I am not ultimately concerned with being the most radical (or interesting), just the most happy. 

The whole ongoing fiasco with Chicago Dyke March made me realize more than ever that people, even those in the queer community, really do not believe that lesbians can exist. In straight society lesbians still just haven’t met the right man; in queer society they are simply proto-trans men, something not-quite a woman, or, just like in straight society, had better be waiting for and open to the right man. In this day and age, where the number of women who openly and proudly call themselves lesbians has dwindled, the illusion that lesbians do not exist is more threatening than ever. There is no doubt in my mind that pervasive attitudes of lesbian erasure and devaluation of lesbian experiences have a huge effect on us and play a role in the disappearance of the lesbian community. 

Here is the thing though: I am real! I am a butch lesbian and I am real! I love women who are also real! I am dysphoric and I am real! I am a woman and I’m real! A full blown fleshed out set of stereotypes plus some added extras, a butch dyke! I exist and people like me will always exist! 

Help an LG(BT) Mentally Ill Latinx Out

hey so I’m trying my damndest to save money so I can go to school and not be stuck in retail forever but as it is they don’t pay me enough to save money and cover my own expenses (not to mention both my computer and phone are going to shit and I need money to fix and/or get new ones,,) also some extra money would be great so i could like,,, go to the doctors and stuff :’)  

So here’s all my other money making options: 

I have a jewelry Etsy:

AstrologicalChoice, heres a link

I do $5 Betta commissions:

Here’s the information on that. I’ll draw other fish too. 

I do regular commissions too:

Here’s the information on that. Kinda wary about taking on more than I have the energy for but for now they’re open. EDIT: No longer wary pls commission me

And tbh you don’t even have to engage in any of these services if you don’t want, my paypal is and any little bit helps !

I WANT TRANS BUDDIES. People on the internet are always like “oh my trans friends do this” and “oh my trans friends do that”. I want trans buddies to be trans with. Like, not because they are trans but just to be friends and then we can relate to each other really well? I guess? Does anyone understand what I’m trying to say here?? I don’t have anyone to talk to about say… phalloplasty.. without them being like “can you get an erectile device even though you don’t want one so I can play with your dick?” No joke that actually happened. But I also want friends to talk to about dogs and star trek and power rangers and just… life. Does any of this make sense? Just… people I can relate to on more than one level; gender but also interests. I want someone who can go with me to get liposuction on my hips. Is it weird that I want that? I don’t know anyone else, who is apart of my life, that is trans, that I can relate to. This is probably hopeless… but I have kik and skype and viber and line and disney mix and all of that nonsense if anyone’s interested in maybe having a friend. Maybe we can end up creating one big trans buddy chat thing? Ah well whatever

on a lighter note, i had a sweet conversation with my mother where she was like “so i saw this article online and it was a supposedly feminist woman saying that trans women aren’t real women and that they shouldnt be allowed in feminist spaces???? it just seemed so needlessly angry” and i was like “uhhh that sounds like a terf–” and i was about to explain but she was like “oh yeah i know about those. they’re just sad angry people who want to put others down. and i relate to any given trans woman much more than i relate to any of THOSE people, as a woman.” it was nice :-)

anonymous asked:

can you explain why people want to exclude asexual people from the lgbt+ community? I understand that if you're cis and straight and ace that people feel you shouldn't belong but like? isn't having a different orientation still queer?

this question shows a fundamental misunderstanding of a) why the lgbt community exists b) what being queer actually means.

the lgbt community wasn’t formed to be a bastion of safety to each and every person who feels like their identity is Queer And Radical™, contrary to what huffington post and buzzfeed would have you believe these days. the lgbt community, as we know it today, was formed directly in response to the fact that we were being systematically targeted by EVERYTHING in our society, from police to laws to everyday citizens. gay bashings were even more common than they are today, and just holding your same-gender partner’s hand in public could be enough to get you killed. gay/trans panic was a valid legal excuse people could plea to that, essentially, let them walk free for murdering us.

where do ace people fit into that picture? you tell me.

if cishet steve wants to live his whole life without having sex, great! more power to him! i would never in a million years try to stop him from doing that. but frankly, he’s going to look like any other straight and cis person throughout his entire life. he doesn’t need the protection that the lgbt community provides.

you might argue that it’s asexual erasure for people to see cishet steve and assume that he’s allosexual or what-have-you. to which i ask: why does it matter? so much of the ace community is focused on HOW you like (or don’t like) sex and your experience with sexual attraction. for a community that ostensibly wants to remove the focus on sex that society has, the ace community sure spends a lot of time coming up with new terms and identities to describe Exactly How you feel about sex, and spends even more time explaining this in vivid detail. and on a wide, unilateral level, that just… doesn’t matter.

to look at that another way… a lot of ace people feel grossed out when allo people (lgbt or not) describe their sexual preferences, or even just bring up the fact that they have sex at all. so it looks a little hypocritical that the ace community spends so much time pontificating on these microlabels and identities that essentially just… describe how much sex you’re having or are interested in having.

ace people are never going to be systematically hunted down and persecuted on the basis of their being asexual. not the way lgbt people are. trans women are still being actively murdered in the streets for being trans women, and the ace community is too busy raising a fuss that they’re Queer Enough For The Queer Club to care.

and again, i partially fault this to the media. liberal outlets like buzzfeed and huffington post are pushing the idea that more and more esoteric interests and identities are queer, when that’s… not the case. the lgbt community has been fighting since the start to be recognized as people, and not just a bunch of demented perverted freaks. after nearly 50 years of the modern lgbt movement in america, where has that gotten us? cishet people who are into s&m, or diapers, or what-have-you, claiming the identity of “queer.” that’s never been what that term is for, and more importantly, it puts us as lgbt people RIGHT back into being lumped in with the “abnormal perverts.”

there are legitimate problems that the ace community faces, but the lgbt community is not the place to solve them. it would be more productive, in my opinion, for the ace community to focus on issues like desexualizing the media (because i feel that’s where a lot of ace feelings of exclusion come from) than it is for them to keep trying to shove their way into a community that was not made for them.

in conclusion, i don’t say any of this because i hate asexual people or view their identities as invalid. they are. but if you’re cishet and ace, you don’t have a claim to the lgbt community. it’s that simple. if you ask a regular person on the street, one who’s not at all entrenched in this debate, they’ll tell you the same thing. the problems ace people have are not on the same level of the problems that the lgbt community has, so their attempt to muscle their way into the community shows a profound lack of understanding they have as to what this community is for.

please, please do some research on the history of the lgbt community, and i mean actual books, papers, and documentaries. tumblr can be helpful, but you cannot rely on this site to truly educate you on any subject like this.

i really wish i wasn’t so stubborn.

i actually discovered – and agreed with –gender critical theory about a year before i went on T, so i was 17 years old. when i first heard those ideas, everything kinda started to make sense, and i had a massive breakdown (i couldn’t speak to anyone for days) and i got questioning. i felt so relieved that my interests and my personality and even my dysphoria were not signs that i was supposed to be a man. it was the first time i’d felt happy in years. i couldn’t believe i’d never heard of that branch of feminism before, so i looked it up on tumblr for more information… and all i could find was hate directed at radical feminist, detransitioners and “terfs”. obviously, gender critical feminism was bullshit and the women who called themselves radical feminists were just bitter transphobes! i mean, what else could be going on here? everyone is always out to get trans people! they don’t really want to help me! they just want me to detransition and be miserable like them! i needed to prove (to who? to myself? to terfs? i don’t know) that i could be trans and happy. because im stubborn, always have been.
so that was the end of that. i pushed the positive thoughts out of my mind and went back to obsessing over my crippling dysphoria.

i avoided reading anything about gender critical theory until i was 4 months on T and found i hated myself more than ever. other trans guys told me this was normal. i thought “if taking T is the key to becoming my true self, why does it feel so awful? why do i feel more miserable than i did pre-T? how is any of this normal?”. i was tired. so tired. tired of pretending. tired of injections. tired of that damn binder. tired of anti-depressants. so one day i stopped. it was like a switch was flicked somewhere inside me. i didn’t want to believe in gender identity anymore. so i just stopped. and i was finally free.


Before you read the rules and request anything, please be aware of this post.

- So far you can request any character that has shown up in the manga. Although it can happen that if I don’t have enough information about a character, I might not be able to answer a request well enough.

- No rape scenario whatsoever, the same goes for dub-con or the characters hitting someone. (Dub-con also means that one or both people are under the influence of alcohol, drugs or other dubious things.)

- I have a character limit of four characters and the more you request, the parts I write about them will get shorter.

- Let’s stay nice towards each other and the characters alright? No hate towards anyone.

- Polyamory ships and/or reader inserts are welcome, this is a OT3 and poly friendly blog.

- I won’t answer asks about mental illnesses. Comfort requests however are more than welcome, so don’t hesitate if that’s what you want.

- I won’t write NSFW

- Soulmate AUs are always welcome.

- Don’t send requests through the submit box, use the ask box instead and if you have a request that get’s longer, you can send it in multiple parts, as long as you mark them in a way that makes it clear to me that they’re all from you.

- I can do canon x canon as well, though please clearly tell me if you want a pairing instead of two character scenarios with their separate s/o.

- I won’t answer student x teacher asks and even more so if the student is underage. Included are also any sort of pairings where one person is under 18.

- Please request more than only “fun/nsfw/romantic scenario with x-character” in your asks.

- I don’t write about Yandere, or any of the other -dere parts.

- Please request asks for s/o scenarios with they/them pronouns. The exception to this rule are trans requests.

(And, to have it here too: All requests that will be send in while the Ask Box is closed will be deleted. I will also delete requests that ignore the rules.)

If there is anything you don’t understand or that you want me to clarify or that you’re unsure about, feel free to ask me.

gay-harambae  asked:

hey how's ur thirst. my thirst for polydins is really fuckign real. i'm writing a fic where it happens man it haPPENS and it's amazing bc i get all the pairings toGETHER AND NOBODY IS ALONE!!!!! headcanon hance is first and then they realize that they're crushing on all the other paladins hC ACE PIDGE WHO JOINS LAST BC HUNK WANTS TO B RESPECTFUL AND NOT ASK HER TILL EVERYTHING WITH THE OTHER PALADINS HAS BEEN FIGURED OUT you can pry ace pidge from my cold dead hands tbh and trans girl pidge

honestly im still so thirsty for polydins and like now more than ever bc my life is going to hell in a handbasket and i just crave some happiness. it doesnt even have to be my happiness (lmao lbr here) i just want my children to be happy, like any good mother.

and theyre happy together.

in love

all fucking five of them. snuggling together in bed and gently smooching each other and holding hands. im desperate.

if i were to start a vld discord group wld any1 be interested in joining it…??

anonymous asked:

Why do you want to exclude trans girls from the lesbian community? I don't understand how you, a member of an oppressed group, want to oppress another one. As women we are suposed to uplift each other, not exclude one another.

I don’t exclude them, biology and the meaning of words excludes them. males can’t be lesbians. I couldn’t care less if that hurts their feelings. it’s not oppressing them any more than it’s oppressing straight men. lesbian sexuality and lesbian bodies are not inclusive spaces.

this is the last ask I’ll answer publicly on this subject.

What, ultimately, is the goal of erasing the words “women” and “woman” and “female” from abortion and pregnancy discussion. Like I’m well aware of the “inclusive” weak ass argument trumpeted from on high, but inclusive to whom? It seems that in the end it is more about the feelings of trans women from feeling left out than it is about trans men (i.e. female people) being included. I would think trans men would not want to experience pregnancy at the least, per the sex dysphoria, but of course are just at risk of male violence including forced pregnancy, lack of abortion and bc access, and forced abortions as any other female person on this planet. So, what is the end goal of “uterus people” vs “female people” in which a woman is not reduced to her reproductive body part but instead described as a full body person who experiences pregnancy and risk of pregnancy. We are people, not just functioning (or not) uteri, and our uterus and its capabilities are a functioning part of our whole experience as a person, not separate and divorced and objective.

reasons why eleven from stranger things is a trans girl:

  • everyone mistakes her for a boy. “you think you can steal from me, boy?” “she didn’t even look like a girl” etc.
  • the emphasis on her being a girl. if you made a drinking game out of how many times someone refers to eleven as “that girl” or “some girl” or w/e, you’d be under the table by episode 2 
  • her looking at pictures of nancy and saying “pretty.” the way she says it and in context, she’s not just complimenting her. either eleven is gay af (which i’m not ruling out) or she’s jealous, or maybe wistful is a better word. she sees something she wants to be but doesn’t perceive herself as. 
  • a similar incident: when she looks in the mirror after being conventional-girl-ified and just that look on her face. she’s finally seeing herself as she wants to look and be. then there’s the nice moment when she learns to find herself pretty without that classic girl look, which i think goes even further into the trans narrative, esp in a time before hormones n such were readily accessible, bc she’s learning to love the body she’s got
  • her hair, dear god, her hair. it’s a point of struggle for her, and it’s what makes everyone see her as a boy. i’ve said it before, but hair can be v important to trans people bc to the majority of society, it’s a visual identifier of gender. she holds onto that wig for a v long time bc it marks her as a girl. again, she learns to like herself without it, but we can’t forget her original feelings
  • and i know what you’re gonna say: “but what about brenner?? he’s a terrible person so wouldn’t he be transphobic as hell and refer to eleven as a boy?” well you see. it was important to him that she comply and be a willing participant in his hellish experiments, and there’s no more sure fire way to get trans people to do the exact opposite of that than to refer to them as their birth gender. he probably figured it would make things easier if he gave her what she wanted. BAM. 

ok that’s all i got for now but feel free to add any examples i missed!!

callout post for tumblr user spideydevils to let ppl know that yall should avoid interacting with them

basically:parker is both an emotional abuser who has hurt and/or manipulated at least 6 people (and possibly more that im not aware of) who has tried to manipulate/coerce people into doing sexual things with them.

they needed help last year and i let them live in my house, and for months subjected me to various common abuse tactics. below is a list of several abusive things they did to me

  • pretty much constantly would make subtle & outright insults about me, usually calling me annoying or selfish whenever i didnt do something they wanted me to do.
    calling me “selfish” included a time when they wanted me to do something sexual with them that i was uncomfortable with causing them to insult me for it.. similarly, would get annoyed/angry with me for not being able to do certain sexual acts due to anxiety and/or general discomfort with it
    they also invited people over to my house frequently without asking; they asked a friend to come over after my grandfather died and i said no due to me needing some time alone to grieve, to which they responded by being passive-aggressive and angry with me for weeks and telling said friend that i should’ve let them come over because i “didn’t even know my grandpa that well anyway”
  • regularly made ableist comments for people with traits of certain disablities/mental illnesses; including calling me and my friend (both autistic people) “annoying” for rambling about my special interests, saying things like “that art style is bad because every person looks like they have down syndrome,” stating that every trait they didn’t like about someone was a “typical sign of them having BPD/bipolar disorder” basically every time they didnt like someone it was usually because that person had a mental illness/disability
    oddly enough, every person they dated/were interested in when i knew them was emotionally vulnerable, and they even made a post stating that their “type” were people who were “emotionally stunted”

again, especially sketchy after their history with how they treated mentally ill people

  • after getting in a fight with two of my friends, they got angry with me for hanging out with said friends to the point of us having to make plans in secret and avoid telling them what we were doing so they wouldn’t get mad at us for hanging out 
  • repeatedly lied to my parents (and other people) about money in order to trick us into financially supporting them; this included an instance in which they told my mom that their mom had “forced them to pay for all the gas money” on a long road trip, only for us to later find out that parker hadn’t paid for anything and had instead spent their money on art supplies. not only that, but the situation had led to another friend being forced into paying for all of the gas money while parker got to save their money so they could spend it on art supplies.
    note: at this time they were living with me and under my parents’ roof, meaning my parents were already paying for their food and other supplies and didn’t have much to spare, but because of them blatantly lying my mom felt bad and gave parker money to make up for what they were “forced to spend.” they basically had absolutely no consideration for how much people were spending on them, and whenever someone agreed to pay for something for them they would spend as much money as they could (i.e. once my mom was buying us things from AC moore and they literally spent at least $100 dollars on art supplies, then proceeded to use none of them)
    later after they moved out they made a kickstarter to help support themselves, which was incredibly sketchy knowing their constant problem with wasting OTHER PEOPLE’S money.
  • would regularly bring up people’s personal problems & the like (jncluding certain sexual things) around strangers without that person’s consent
     this included being told secrets by someone (such as about their mental illnesses or home situations) and then sharing it with everyone they knew
    also, was rude to a person in a way that led me to getting outed; basically the person asked if we wanted to take a feminism survey and they aggressively responded “why? because you assume we’re women?!” (as if that had anything to do with the question…) and then bragged about their response to us as if yelling at someone for a simple question and forcing a trans person into a situation where they needed to explain their identity was in any way admirable
  • used manipulative tactics to get my friends and me to side with them and turn against each other- i.e. would say things like “sometimes i think i like you more than anyone else in the group” in private but to every single friend individually. would spread negative thoughts about us behind each other’s backs in order to make us dislike certain aspects of each other (literally would never talk about anyone they knew in a positive light, it was all negativity used to ~make us see each others problems~ or some shit)
  • said things like “how could you abandon me after everything i’ve done for you?”
  • when called out on their problems they would proceed to blame it on their mental illness or seclude themselves and wait for everything to blow over so that they could just come back and not have to deal with it.
    in addition to just waiting for everything to blow over, after they’d apparently determined that an adequate amount of time had passed they would immediately come back to see you and start talking to you sweetly and pretending nothing happened- this was incredibly jarring and creepy and worked to make a lot of us question if they’d actually done anything wrong. (not to mention if you said they did anything wrong they’d immediately come back at you saying that you were “projecting” therefore wrong lmao)
  • they would also make every issue about themself;
    i.e. once they made me cry and they proceeded to say (aggressively) “are you crying?!” and then shouted “thats it! im done!” before running out of the room. when we saw them again they proceeded to make self deprecating comments about what a shitty person they were, forcing us to console them rather than them actually apologizing for hurting me.
  • Regularly acted superior/smarter/more “mature” than the rest of us- this includes constantly referring to another friend as this “pure innocent person” (solely because she wasn’t ~kinky~)
    The way they talked about the “pure innocent person” was especially creepy as they would say things like “i wish she wasn’t straight, i don’t want any of those straight guys corrupting her :/” it was really fucking creepy.

my friend @hails-bop also added:

I also experienced abuse from spideydevils when we were friends.

  • They were dating my best friend at the time and proceeded to play us against each other and caused the end of our friendship and spread really nasty information about her. 
  • They also acted as if they had “saved” me from a manipulative, toxic friendship by calling me “a little helpless puppy” that they rescued.
    They also constantly acted like I was this poor defenseless creature that they had to rescue while simultaneously acting like I had to save them bc they, quote, “would die without me there.”
  • They also manipulated me into buying us matching t-shirts and water bottles with my living money (the only money I had when I had no job and no home after moving out of my mom’s house) saying that I had to because I had to provide for them and such and wouldn’t give me a chance to say no.
    They also asked me if they could look at my debit card one day bc they like the stimulation of the sparkles on it to which I gave it to them without a second though because I knew that was important for them. They proceeded to copy down my debit card info and when I suspected it, I was afraid to ask them as they got mad whenever anyone confronted them. The next day they asked me for the address associated with my debit card, when I asked why they told me that they just wanted to remember it and later that it “was an autistic thing”. So I only have them part of it, since I wasn’t comfortable. I noticed the next day that I had over $100 taken out of my bank account (again the only living money I had at the time) and that  my Amazon account had been locked out because of “suspicious card activity”. When I confronted them about it I simply told them that I was having all these issues, to which they came back and said that Amazon was just dumb. But later when I asked them if they had done it they told me “Oh, that might be my bad. I bought some pants and must have accidentally used your card info.” They claimed that it was already logged into their Amazon account automatically and the app must have gitched. However, I never gave them my info or permission to used my card on the Amazon account. They continuously denied that they stole from me and have yet to own up to it. And when I brought it up a few times much later they completely ignored my questions. 
  • They were also very forward sexually with me at the very beginning of our friendship. One of the first times I stayed over at their house they brought out their hand and leg cuffs and were just being weird with them (our relationship never escalated to sex thank goodness.)
    They also stayed with me for about a week before they moved into my friend’s house and were really inappropriate with my step-sister. They wouldn’t stop asking her if she would have sex with them or if she “ever wanted to experiment”. My step-sister repeatedly said “no” and they proceeded to get up and show my step-sister nudes and photos of them in bondage gear. I then decided they needed to get away from her so I took them outside to walk to Arby’ s and the first thing they said was “I’m so gay for your step-sister”. 
  • When they were staying with me for a short time my father sent me $100 to help with groceries while they were there and they made me take them to Dollar General to buy things they claim they needed but still had not used after months and months of time. 
  • After they moved in with my friend they would make me clean their room everytime I came to visit. I would come up to visit from college and if I didn’t have their room spotless when they got back then they would say things like “Why didn’t you do any work??” Or when they got back they would make me stop hanging with my other friend to hang out with them or to finish cleaning their room while they sat on their bed and did nothing.
  • They would also constantly ghost me for no reason at all. They would be mean and spiteful when I messaged them and then when I just gave up and left them alone they would say “Well, why aren’t you talking to me?”
    then would randomly come up to me days later and put their head on my shoulder and act as if nothing had ever happened. This happened like two or three times over the course of a couple months. 
  • They also almost made me go to a super expensive college with them because they “needed me or they’d die” and that I had to go to help them. I almost went but finally realized that was a horrible idea. 
  • They also would make me stay awake until like 6am even when I had things to do the next morning telling me that I wasn’t allowed to leave them or that I would be abandoning them. 
  • They have also continued to play the victim. When they cut ties with people they continue to talk nasty about the people they hurt and point the blame to those people. They act as if no one cares about them and everyone leaves them because “no one understands” etc. when everyone leaves because they are being abusive and hurting everyone around them.
  • Being involved with them was so incredible horrible for my mental health. I’ve started therapy through my school and constantly continue to have nightmares of them. I advise anybody to stay as far away from them as you possibly can.

Edit (5/12/17) more things from @itsmekarlee:

  • they basically destroyed my life and turned all my friends against me because they were trying to force themselves on someone who was made very uncomfortable by them. 
  • spread horrible rumors about me and told everyone that I was toxic and abusive
  • faked a suicide attempt to guilt trip me and my friend (who barely knew them). And they tried to “give” me all their cosplay stuff before they “died" 
  • during that they proceeded to post a passive aggressive status on their account
  • texted a friend who had my phone at the time, while on a school trip, things about ditching me. They even told the friend to delete those messages but I had gotten my phone back, i called them out on it, but they just told me I was a horrible person and that I would have done the same thing.
    on the same school trip called me out ((accusing me of stuff they made up)) at lunch in front of everyone, made me cry and proceeded to say that I was manipulative
  • just in general very pushy and awful, pls avoid

Edit (6/23/17) more things from @luke-amidala (quotes are taken directly from a chat between me and her, while bullets without quotes are paraphased a bit to fit this format better)

luke-amidala and parker were college roommates during parker’s first semester at pratt

  • “Basically what happened was that they had been incredibly toxic to us, and we wanted to get them out of the dorm because they weren’t good for our mental health”
  • “They were incredibly mean our room mate Tamlin, and often made him cry.” 
  • “They wanted me all to themselves because they had a huge crush on me, so they would try and isolate me. They were super sexually inappropriate towards me, despite me constantly telling them I wasn’t interested.”
  • “Finally, we had a mediation with them to tell them how we felt and how we couldn’t have them in the dorm anymore. I told them that I was suicidal, despite making great progress in the past few years, and they told me ‘well, that’s your fault for feeling that way…’”
  • After luke-amidala and parker’s other roommates had gotten parker to move out of their dorm, parker proceeded to spread lies about luke-amidala having “physically attacked” them, likely as a way to build sympathy from people outside of the situation;
    this included using the “attack” against hails-bop in a conversation where parker asked hailey “if they [parker] were a toxic person” and when hailey said that they were, parker proceeded to instead call hailey toxic for insulting them after they’d been “physically attacked” by their roommate (coincidentally parker hadn’t mentioned anything about a physical attack until after they needed to use it as leverage in order to deflect hailey pointing out their abusive behavior)

Edit (6/25/17) info from Parker’s other roommate @chillinginthedaisies once again taken from a chat we’d had with minor edits for the post format

  • So they were living, we were sharing a bedroom, just us. Initially they entranced me, were very kind to me and I felt like I had a nice friend. I had been so anxious for months on who I would room with because I’m trans and worry, but I thought they were amazing at first
    The night before moving in together, however, we got in a fight because I didn’t word something correctly for them. I apologized so many times and had a panic attack because I was afraid they would hate me and we had to live together, but once we moved in everything seemed fine at first and I still thought they were nice
  • As days passed they kept pointing out my insecurities and saying mean things to me. I can get kind of loud sometimes, and we invited new friends over and were having fun with them in our room so I was being a bit loud and Parker told me how annoying I was being and that I’m so loud they can’t stand it. This is one of my biggest insecurities because I don’t realize I’m doing it sometimes. This lead to me having a panic attack in our kitchen because I thought they hated me.
  • Eventually all they would do was say mean things to me and be passive aggressive because I would hang out with our roommate who they had a crush on. They saw me as a threat even though I had shown no interest in our roommate and it only got worse when we tried to talk things out:
  • They told me that I was sheltered, privileged, that I’d never known pain in my life. They said they hated me and wanted to have my life because it seemed way better than theirs. It kept feeling like they were trying to one up me with their problems. I told them many things about my life like about my mom dying, but instead of trying to relate to me they stepped all over what I’d told them. They said it wasn’t that bad my mom died because they had to watch their grandmother die. It was like, I also watched someone I love die, why couldn’t we have been together about something instead of them trying to out pity me
  • They were like the embodiment of every bad thing that everyone had ever said or done to me wrapped up in one person. I felt trapped with them but at the same time I kept wanting to please them. I was scared to be in the same room as them because I was afraid of what else they were going to say to me. Finally we got them kicked out of my bedroom but their stuff stayed in my room for at least a month after that. It was awful because it still felt like they were there. While they were gone they spread rumors about me and my roommate like saying that we had abused them. I still had to see them in one of my classes even after they got kicked out of my room and it was like I couldn’t escape from them until they finally left campus.

Edit (6/24/17)More info from people involved with parker provided with permission from a person who’d prefer to stay anonymous;
for convenience of this post we’ll call them Basil

  • Parker would often bring up sexual things in public and around friends without Basil’s consent;
    For example, Parker gave Basil an unwanted sexual gift for her birthday, knowing that Basil was uncomfortable with receiving it, and have her open them in front of a large group of people without knowing the gift were sexual.
  • Parker also would generally try to pressure Basil into sexual things and would try to guilt her into doing sexual things she wasn’t interested in, including a time in which Parker wanted to exchange sexual text messages/pictures and, upon Basil telling them that she wasn’t comfortable doing that, Parker proceeded to start making tons of vent posts about how ugly they were and how disgusting their body is (this happened several times to several people; Parker would often take “i dont want to have sex with you” as an insult to them and proceed to make whoever rejected them feel horrible by posting several self-deprecating vent posts, talking about self harming, and/or blaming them being rejected on their eating disorder and often using as a reason to purge/binge. These were public posts made on Parker’s main blog that they were fully aware would likely be seen by whoever was “causing” them and would immediately begin to blame themselves for it.)
  • Tried to pressure/guilt Basil into a polyamorous relationship
  • Parker would actively try to convince Basil that her mother was abusive (which she’s not, at all) in order to distance Basil from her solely because Parker didn’t like her.
  • Parker would get angry at Basil for things she did due to her depression and/or anxiety and would demonize her for it;
    For example, at a friend outing Parker said something along the lines of “Basil you need to not do this thing and you can do better” and Basil responded with a self-deprecating joke (something like “oh haha i know i’m just a horrible person”) which made Parker SLAM their glass on the table and say “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT” very loudly and angrily causing Basil to panic and have to the restaurant leave to calm down.
    After Basil had left we asked Parker what was going on and they proceeded to call her manipulative literally because she made self deprecating jokes a lot (which is not only something that people with depression do generally, but also something Parker did all the time in ways that were Actually manipulative.)

Edit (6/24/17) More info from another person who’d prefer to remain anonymous; for convenience we’ll call her L.

  • Used a similar “how could you leave me after everything I’ve done for you?” guilt tactic on L when they broke up; examples of this can still be found on their blog: 

They also didnt speak or look at L for weeks after they broke up, causing L loads of stress to the point where she felt obligated to get back together with them despite not wanting to just to make things easier

  • Parker used their eating disorder to manipulate L while they were having a meltdown; during a group outing at a restaurant L wasn’t eating anything, Parker told L that “if you didn’t eat then I won’t either” and proceeded to go to the bathroom and purge, causing L to have a breakdown
  • Parker had a tendency to pick favorites in polyamorous relationships, in which they would treat one person nicely and be complimentative of them while their other partner would get ignored and become a target of insults. 
  • Parker would often borrow things from L and then say they “lost them,” however when Parker moved out and we packed their things we found a lot of L’s “lost things” in a matter of minutes; this made Parker’s lack of any effort to even TRY to find L’s things pretty obvious and considering Parker has an aforementioned tendency to steal people’s things and lie about it, it’s likely that Parker didn’t have any intent to return these items to begin with.

Edit (6/24/17) @whothefuckisjb provided a buncha specific info about how they were treated by parker and their effect on his mental health that i’m just gonna quote here (with minor edits for organization’s sake)

I “knew” Parker for three years online prior to meeting them in person at their college where I picked them up just to give them a place to stay during winter break that wasn’t all the way in far away and away from their mother. It wasn’t that I felt sorry for them or that I thought I was saving them. I thought I was sparing them from suffering more than they already had.
Little did I know they only wanted to suffer. At every turn they seem to take the path that only leads to more hurt, more suffering, and more destruction. They want to suffer, like they enjoy the attention it brings them. Then they complain about the attention it brings them. The whole time I’ve known them it seems like their whole theme has been some paradoxical scheme of “I don’t want pity! But here’s how EVERYONE has hurt me”. As they bounce from person to person, not seeing how much pain and suffering they cause.

Dated outtakes from my personal journal of the time when Parker lived with me:

  • 3/28/17
    “… I’m tired. I want to sleep in the living room tonight. But I continuously feel guilted into sleeping with Parker because I don’t want them to tell me how I’m making them feel horrible. It’s so hard to do what I want right now.
    Parker is constantly contradicting themselves on so many things like “stay the HELL away from (their therapist)” and saying they dislike my place of therapy so when I consider couples therapy for them I don’t know who to go to. And when they continue to say they’ll try harder all I’m feeling and all I’ve ever felt from them is no ACTIONS.
    Something is blocking me from being able to properly communicate with Parker like I would with my mother or (my other significant other whom was neglected and pushed away from our “poly” relationship). I think… I think it’s fear. And I’m sick of hearing this “no warning” excuse from them. I felt pressured to speak before I was ready to ergo things came out confused and not how I wanted them, so then they get angry about having no warning about these things but when I try to give a warning they get anxious and press me for more details or I get “can you at least try?” Even though I already said “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk just yet”… We’re progressing at 2 different rates. Eventually, whether we want to or not, we’re going to drift away from one another.
    Every time they press so desperately for love and affection I’m so so uncomfortable but I know contact can be comforting to them. But do I want it? No. Not usually. Especially when so many times I’ve been scared close to tears because of a “NO!” In response to trying to comfort them with physical touch. It’s maddening.”
  • 3/28/17 A single page with just this written on it:
    ““Do not touch me!” You hissed at me as I quickly stood in case you passed out right there in front of me. I’m crying.”
  • 3/29/17
    “…I’m fining it hard to write about my problems and not Parker’s again. I feel bad. I wanna cry and go home. But I can’t go home, because Parker is there.”
    (I’d also like to point out it was around this time that I was so riddled with anxiety due to Parker’s abuse that I quite literally developed a stomach ulcer that is now a weakened spot in my stomach lining that is a lasting physical and painful effect of their emotional and mental abuse.)
  • 3/31/17
    “I’m dying. I’m used, I’m worthless, I’m suffering. I don’t want them to know. It’s just more hassle and trouble for them. I just want to be alone where I can’t be used or guilted or manipulated I want to cry but I just can’t seem to this time. I hurt. I’m used. I’m a tool. I’m crying on my book gods damn me.” (more intricate writing) “Just let me die so their lives can be better…
    To have someone who was supposed to look out for you, love you, be there for you turn and put you in such a dark place that you’re suicidal and so sure that everyone’s lives would be better without you? The whole idea of it is disgusting. And it happened. More than once I’m very sure. To others even.”
  • 4/2/17
    “I want to emote unapologetically. I want to sit and cry and unless I ask for help I want to be ignored like I don’t exist.
    Everything in me is crying and begging for them to go away so I can start my life again. I feel like nothing can or should move forward until Parker is gone. I think this is my tipping point. I was already so close to the edge of my breaking point that the abuse sent me off the deep end…”
    (I would only go to school in a desperate attempt to get away from Parker. Those six hours of actual high school hell were better than being at home, MY home, where my abuser was taking up every available ounce of space in my tiny apartment.
    Earlier entries from my journal look like this when I’d just told Parker they were being abusive.)
  • 3/26/17
    “I’m supposed to think on it for a week. Sure. I walked for HOURS today just thinking about it all and I let the abuse get in the way of my thoughts. FUCK! I’m so trapped, more now than ever before.
    Trapped by guilt and this feeling of invalidation. I’m crying too much. My eyes hurt. I’m so dehydrated.
    Stopstopstopstopstopstop. I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS. It hurts. I hurt. Make it stop. Sara (my therapist), please. I’m begging. Anything to make the pain go away. Drug me. Hurt me. Kill me. Just make it stop.”
  • I would sleep with my journal just in an attempt to keep them from reading it. I’d keep it tucked on my side of the twin bed so they’d likely wake me stretching over me to try and reach for it. Not once did I invade the privacy of their journal. Not once. But there were times that conversations would come up that literally could not have happened unless Parker took and read my journal.
  • I was asked to do sexual things I was obviously uncomfortable doing and when I voiced to them about being uncomfortable with it they belittled and berated me for it. They taunted me and treated me childishly because I wouldn’t whip them hard enough! I can’t help but feel like everything I’ve done was some disgusting set up play to make me look like the abuser.
  • I’m slightly self conscious about my intelligence, I know I’m not very smart but I’m not a moron either. Being with Parker constantly correcting, confusing, and compiling things to show me how stupid and unintelligent I was? Made everything ten times worse. They always had to be right. They had to have the last word. Even if they weren’t right I was still in the wrong because everything was always my fault.
  • I had to be the one making decisions for them. I had to be in charge of their life so when they fucked it up more they could blame it all on me. Well no, no it’s not all on me. I have a plethora, a literal fucking book of evidence of what they did to me. Literal quotes of the shit they’ve said to me. I have evidence, hard and true. And I felt like I needed all this evidence, I still do, because living with them has made me doubt the reality and validity of what I am feeling. I started writing because I knew I was losing pieces of time and blacking things out and having more panic attacks. Parker destroyed my life and my reality. Please for the love of the gods don’t let them do it to you too.

(me, s-squishysquibbles, talking again:) i dont want people who read this to send them death threats or hate messages or anything like that, i just want people to know that they should Not get involved with them.

the fact that theyve hurt so many people is terrifying and i just want to warn as many people as possible to avoid them because they are clearly not interested in improving their behavior.

if anyone else has been hurt by them me and @hails-bop are always here to talk. if anyone wants me to add anything else, message me i can do so and won’t add your name unless you specify that you want me to. 

angesansnom  asked:

i'm feeling sad, so ,,, do you have any trans combeferre headcanons ?

(** and shipping him with like, either nb grantaire or enjolras would be great if possible )

I’m so sorry for the late response! I’ve been really out of it the last few days! And I haven’t done any Combetaire so let’s go!

  • Combeferre doesn’t really talk much about his gender, mainly because he just wants to be seen as a guy, but he is very willing to educate people about what it’s like to be trans
  • Grantaire is much more open about the fact that they really don’t care about their gender, and they haven’t figured out a way to describe it other than *shrugs*
  • They really start liking Ferre because of the way he just knows himself. Like, R is just amazed by him
  • Ferre starts liking R back when they stand up for someone who doesn’t exactly pass, but, as R yelled at the transphobe, that doesn’t matter
  • The two of them are dancing around each other and everyone knows it and are really done with it
  • no one pushes them together, they actually work it out on their own
  • Combeferre was explaining safe ways to bind and the boy had asked if they were together
  • they blushed and said no, but the boy told them they should be
  • grantaire asks combeferre out and ferre obviously says yes
  • they open a shop for transgender teens who aren’t out to their parents to help them get supplies they need
  • it’s all decorated in R’s art
  • ferre and r are really happy being able to express themselves the way they want to and they’re happy and oh i love them

i hope this helps! again, so sorry for the late response!

anonymous asked:

Hey, so you have any information on the different types of Top surgeries? I think there are four or five but I know nothing about them?

Okay, so I know a bit about this, but not everything seeing as I’m not a doctor haha. I know there are different surgeries for different breast sizes and body types. Certain surgeries leave less scaring ect. For instance, I have a rather large chest, so I’ll probably end up having to the Inverted T (T Anchor) surgery. If not, I may have to get the Double Incision surgery. 

Both seem to be more suited for medium to large chests. Though the Double Incision seems to have much more issues than the Inverted T.

Double Incision sometimes can have: Loss of nipple feeling, numbness in armpits, “Dog ears” or extra skin that hangs off at the end of the incision, uneven or off looking nipples, ect. 

Inverted T have: two extra vertical incisions, moderate scaring, other normal surgical risks.

Keyhole (for A-B cup breasts): Numbness, nipples may die or look wrong, chest might seem more like a breast reduction rather than a completely flat chest, puckering around the scars, ect.

Peri Areolar (For medium to small chests): Additional lipo and/or revision surgeries are usually needed.

All surgeries are gonna have risks and differ between pros and cons. I don’t know everything, and you shouldn’t take my knowledge as fact, as I get all my information from the internet. Every body reacts differently to surgery. For example, biracial people are more likely to keloid than other races, that being said, that’s not always the case. I get small keloids and I’m basically Caspar. Please speak with your surgeon about any questions and/or issues you may have. Also, please make sure this surgeon is efficient in his work, check with previous patients that he did the same procedure on. I don’t want to see any of you on Botched.

Here are some links:

~Papa Ryan

anonymous asked:

hi ive been identifying as a trans guy for a while now, but after looking @ radfem & gender critical ideology i think i might be wrong? I experience body dysphoria and have a strong aversion to anything "female" but as a victim of csa and someone who's been told their entire life that being female meant you were Lesser, i think i identify with masculinity because of that? whenever i see "cis" guys i get insanely jealous, & dont identify with femininity, but maybe im a gender nonconforming girl?

I can’t tell you any which ideology to subscribe to, but I do appreciate that you’ve taken the time to look into radfem theories of thought.

To put it really simply, I think transactivism is stressing too many people out about “what they really are.” I don’t know how old you are, but it’s so super common among young people in particular to experience body dysphoria because their bodies are constantly changing and that can be weird for some people! and it especially doesn’t help if you’re a girl living in a society that tells you to love and embrace your femininity while also somehow rejecting it (aka girls who wear /too/ much makeup, girls who are /too/ girly).

It’s a major balancing act and I don’t blame you for being jealous of men and what they can get away with. In fact, there are many other radfems that share feelings very similar to yours! I myself wanted to be a boy when I was younger because boys get to hold hands with girls and I didn’t like being analyzed and picked last because I was a girl etc etc etc.

I can say confidently that trans guys, should you choose to keep that identity, and de-transitioned women are more than welcome in the radfem community. Furthermore, I am so proud of gender non-conforming females. It’s not easy. And letting go of something you’ve been so sure of isn’t any easier. I would suggest you look at more experienced radfem blogs to see if you vibe with gender critical thought. That’s what I did, and for me everything just started clicking.

Here’s a few good blogs off the top of my head:




They all know their shit, and there are a ton more blogs than this to look through. I hope this helps. Good luck, anon <3


they/them/theirs pronouns. do not delete caption

art by rommy torrico,

Anita Tijoux: Caballito Blanco, vuelve pa’ tu pueblo, no te tenemos miedo, tenemos vida y fuego, fuego en nuestras manos, fuego en nuestros ojos, tenemos tanta vida y hasta fuerza color rojo. La niña María no quiere tu castigo, se va a liberar con el suelo Palestino- #AnaTijoux. I keep seeing Anita popping up left and right on all my feeds so I figured it was time for this goddess to make her appearance. I’m here to celebrate all the passionate babes, lxs cabronxs rebeldes con espíritus indomables. And this muxer is such a babe, cabrona to the max. Everything about her makes my heart swell and feeds the inner fire in me to gritar rebeldía. Linda Chilenita, sigue con tu fuerza y tu magia y yo seguiré admirándote, escuchándote y amándote. You’re my forever crush. Viva Chile, mierda. Mil veces venceremos. Fuera Yanqui de América Latina! Yo te quiero libre Palestina ✊🏽

Chavela Vargas: Ama sin medida, sin límite, sin complejo, sin permiso, sin coraje, sin consejo, sin duda, sin precio, sin cura, sin nada. No tengas miedo de amar. Verterás lágrimas con amor o sin él. #ChavelaVargas. Also, relevant and playing up to the lusty side of me: “tómate ésta botella conmigo y en el último trago… me besas.” Wise words, Chavelita, wise words. Let’s hear it for the amazing queers of color who know what’s up and are down to destroy the system! In case you were needing some love, let me take this time to appreciate your existence and to let you all know that I’m loving and crushing on all of you so very hard. Keep existing and resisting, you irresistibly sexy folx. En tiempos como éstos que el amor es tán escaso, listen to Chavela and think about how nice it is to know that there are other hopeless romantics out there who are willing to love deeply and fully. Sometimes I wonder, Chavela, if you serenade Frida now that you’re both together up in the twinkling cosmos- that’s amor sin fronteras. That’s the kind of love I’m down for. Galactic serenatas that start off with “te amo” o “te quiero” … or tequila. Because sometimes we can crave forever but sometimes for now works just fine for all parties involved. There’s a lot of love and loving to go around (be sure to use a lot of that love on yourself, too), and like Chavela said, you’ll still shed tears with love or without it. So dale and love on.

Hector Morejon: Mommy, Mommy, please come, please come.- #HectorMorejon. Last words of Hector. The cops didn’t even let his mom ride in the ambulance with him. No justice, no fucking peace. Unarmed, 19 years old, murdered by the pigs. Rest in power, hermanito ✊🏽

Terrence Kellom: Rest in power, #TerrenceKellom #FreddieGray, #FelixDavid. Your lives mattered. We’re with you Detroit, Baltimore, New York. No justice, no peace. Stay safe. #justice4terrencekellom #justice4freddiegray #justice4felixdavid #ftp #endpolicebrutality #blacklivesmatter

Maya Angelou: I’ve got a magic charm that I keep up my sleeve. I can walk the ocean floor and never have to breathe. Life doesn’t frighten me at all. Not at all. Not at all.- #MayaAngelou. So many things have frightened me over the course of my life. Some fears I’ve gotten over, others have lessened in intensity, a good few still latch on to me and I still can’t shake them. I don’t believe myself to be an inherently strong or courageous person- I’m as soft and scared as they come, but I’m starting to believe that I do have some magic charm that keeps me safe and grounded when things go bump in the night, when I feel my will and power weakening, when I feel like I don’t want to breathe anymore because it doesn’t seem worth it. I have no idea what else the universe has in store for me, but I’ve been preparing my little self for the tempest that surely awaits me. My nails might dig into the flesh of my fists, my jaw might clench, my legs may shake but my lungs are mighty and I believe in my magic. I’m fed up with being so frightened so release the kraken, life. Wash the fear away.

Ijeoma Umebinyuo: mother, i have pasts inside me i did not bury properly. some nights, your daughter tears herself apart yet heals in the morning.- #IjeomaUmebinyuo. This womxn is a powerhouse! 🌼👊✊🏽🙌❤So much appreciation for her and her beautiful words. Before I get into my Pooh feelings about this quote, let me plug in that Ijeoma is coming out with her new book really soon! Follow this beautiful being on tumblr ( and on IG @theijeoma for more of her work and to find out when the book drops. And now for the heaviness- this quote hits home in some really intense ways. If only my mother knew how I tear away at myself every day. I owe a lot of who I am to her- good and bad- but we’ve done a lot of damage to each other. I still wonder if I’m good enough for her, if she’s proud of me. I don’t even remember the last time she told me how proud of me she was (when it wasn’t related to academics). There’s an ocean of silence, guilt, contempt and disillusionment between us and as much as I try to swim toward her, she just stays on the shore, looking away. I always think that if she could look past my fabulous queerness, then maybe she could see how decent of a person I’ve grown up to be (and that these are not mutually exclusive). Damn it, ma… It’s been 8 years. Why can’t you see how lucky you are?

Catherine Han Montoya: Rest in radiant and powerful splendor, beautiful person. There is not one dry eye tonight. I don’t even know how many lives you’ve touched- so many people are thinking of you right now, of all the great moments they were able to share with you, of how you single-handedly changed their lives with a smile warmer than the sun. How fortunate and honored we have been to have known you even for a moment. You are so rare- you’re something else completely. I wish I could have told you how meeting you and getting to know you completely rocked my world and how much I look up to you, amiga. My thoughts and love are with your wonderful partner, Meredith, and your family. We miss you, you badass. This movement won’t be the same. Look after us, hermana. There’s no way we could ever forget you. Rest ❤✊ Catherine Han Montoya

James Baldwin: It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, & half believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.- #JamesBaldwin. This right here. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. To all the PoCs, non-whites, indigenous, queers, sick and disabled, trans, undocumented, migrant, formerly incarcerated, detainees and all folx that the system is intentionally fucking over- We are enough. We are power. Our lives are valuable. We will thrive. We will. Exist. Resist. Liberate.

Ramona Africa: We know that at this time, more than any other time, revolution is necessary. The time for excuses is over. Every man, woman, and child has to be involved in this revolution whether you want to be or not. When you truly are involved in revolution, it ain’t a category. It deals with every aspect of your life. It’s not a 9-5, it’s not something you deal with for a couple of hours a day and then that’s it. It’s not something you deal with 5 days a week and then take a break on the weekend. These cops ain’t taking no break. These government officials that’s waging war on us ain’t taking no break. It goes past a job; it is work. and anybody that don’t want to be involved in that work ain’t got no right to complain when they’re victimized by the thing they running from and trying to duck. The point is, you’re going to be victimized by this system, by this government, whether you stand up and fight or not.- #RamonaAfrica. This is what revolution looks like. My #wcw is dedicated to this powerful womxn. After the FBI dropped a C4 bomb on the MOVE organization’s home and headquarters in Philly on May 13, 1983, Ramona managed to make it out of the building (suffering permanent scarring from the burns) with a young girl in her arms (Birdie Africa). They were the only survivors of the massacre- the other 11 members (including 5 children) were murdered. She was subsequently charged with conspiracy, riot and several other ridiculous/unfounded counts of assault and sent to prison for 7 years. Today she continues working to bring down the system and to liberate all political prisoners, including fellow MOvE member #mumiaabujamal . Never forget 9/11? How about NEVER FUCKING FORGET THAT THIS GOVERNMENT DROPS C4 BOMBS ON ITS OWN PEOPLE. Never forget… Don’t even get me started. Rest in power Conrad, Delisha, Frank, Netta, Phil, Raymond, Rhonda, Theresa, Tomaso, Tree, and Vincent Africa

Kathleen Cleaver: What I think needs to be examined and explained more fully are the powerful contributions women have made to our resistance against slavery, to our resistance against segregation, to our resistance against racism.- #KathleenNealCleaver. We’re knee-deep into taurus season and I have so much love and appreciation for all the taurus muxeres in my life. Y'all are so strong, focused, creative, loving and protective (as a pisces, I can appreciate all of that- plus, I love me some earth signs). So happy birthday to all the tauruses in my life and happy almost birthday to this queen, Kathleen Neal Cleaver. Power to the people.

anonymous asked:

do you have any advice for masculine trans women who have dysphoria? i can feel really dysphoric and it hurts me but i don't want to wear feminine things due general discomfort

Hmm. I think that this question will depend a lot on your personal feelings and your personal life, but I will toss you as many ideas as I can and hopefully something in here is helpful. 

One thing that I might suggest right off the bat is buying a bra, specifically a sports bra (or possibly a bralette) might fit your needs since they generally aren’t padded or designed to increase the appearance of your breast size. But! even if it doesn’t make you look any different externally, you may feel a lot better just knowing that you have it on. 

The same kinda goes for masculine women’s underwear such as “boyshorts.” Maybe it’s not your thing, but a lot of trans women I know swear by them in terms of practicality and in terms of having a pretty neutral appearance. 

I also previously wrote a post of fashion suggestions for butch transgender women. I think you may find a lot of what I wrote there relevant to your situation. 

As a general idea, you may be comforted or inspired by the fashion and lifestyle sensibilities of butch lesbians, so it may be something you’d want to look into. 

Furthermore, I think you should perhaps take some time to introspect and think about what specific things might make you dysphoric, in order to address whatever those things are more specifically. 

For example, if you feel dysphoric about your wrists and hands, as I am, you might want to wear fingerless gloves or armsocks. 

If you feel dysphoric about stubble, as I am, you might want to wear foundation/concealer and see if that makes you feel any better. 

At the end of the day I think one of the most valuable things for you might be to try and reach out to any supportive friends or family you might have and try and spend time with them. If you have someone in your life who you can talk about your feelings with, then that can be extremely valuable, especially since they may be able to give you more substantive and personalized advice than I can. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t offer anything more than this. If you have any further questions or if you just want to talk one-on-one, I am here. 

BTW, I would really appreciate it if anyone who is a butch trans woman or who has any other advice to offer regarding tackling dysphoria as a butch trans woman would reblog with any additions or simply send me an ask if you wish to remain anonymous.