this is the stuff of fantasies and fan fiction

There’s something I’ve been needing to vent about for a while (a long while), and I’ll be putting it below the cut. This isn’t as a means to force people to read it, I assure you. It’s probably gonna get a bit long, which is why I feel the need for a cut (also, if anybody just wants to scroll on by, they can do it with ease). So yeah, read or don’t read. It’s up to you. These are just my thoughts, a need to express them openly and nothing more. You are free to feel differently, and if it pisses you off, I accept that….

But I’m tired. So unbelievably tired of entitled fans.

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 pleasedontgethurt replied to your postI GOT FANGIRL OF THE DAY ON HER UNIVERSE????!!!!

[ wait what? ]

“Her Universe is a groundbreaking fangirl fashion company and lifestyle brand founded by actress and entrepreneur Ashley Eckstein, whose mission is to create stylish, fashion-forward merchandise for female sci-fi fans. Hoping to change the perception that science fiction and fantasy is just for boys, Her Universe is the place for fangirls to step into the spotlight and be heard, recognized and rewarded. Her Universe has joined forces with some of the biggest names in the sci-fi/fantasy world to create fangirl apparel and accessories for such well-known names as Star Wars, Doctor Who, Star Trek and Marvel “

every day, they share a fangirl; who’s usually nominated by someone or themselves. I nominated my bff awhile back, and she nominated me and we both got it lol.

TV shows and why people stop watching them when their favorite character dies.

On November 2014, my dad had a heart attack and died. I didn’t take it well. My dad was the person I love the most in the world, he was my best friend and I’m never going to stop missing him. The grieving process really took a toll on me, and during the following year, I retreated inside of myself. I was still functioning, but the truth was I felt empty and I had to debate myself every morning to get out of bed. One of the brightest spots during that time was that I got to see my favorite characters, characters I’ve come to love deeply, having adventures every week.

And then, on May 2015, Supernatural killed Charlie off.

Both of these things, the real loss of my dad and the fictional loss of a character I liked a lot were irredeemably linked in my mind. I wasn’t even sad, really. I was angry. It was as if a close friend, someone who ought to know better, had made an insensitive joke at the expense of my dad’s memory. I calmly turned off my computer while muttering to myself: “I don’t need this shit in my life right now.”

And I stopped watching the show altogether. A show I really loved, a show to this day I write fanfic and blog about, lost me because they killed off a character way too soon after my dad’s passing.

Of course, this wasn’t the writers’ fault. They couldn’t have known what I was going through, they couldn’t have known that I was going to feel like they had personally stabbed me in the gut. They had killed off characters I loved before and I cried and I screamed and wrote angry essays on Tumblr, but this time was different. It was different because I was already dealing with a very real grief and I didn’t want to also add fictional grief on top of it. The fandom’s reaction was pretty much the same as every time a favorite is killed off: they raged, they rolled their eyes, but ultimately they kept watching. Minus me. They’re on Season 12 now. Hope that’s working out great for them.

Recently, a fan favorite character was killed off (in a brutal manner, I’m given to understand) in The Walking Dead. I don’t watch that show. I tried: I made it through season 1 and a bit of 2, but ultimately it failed to grab me. I’ve heard it gets good after season 3. But now this character died, and I happened to be up and on Tumblr when it happened, so my dashboard suddenly was filled with people writing in all caps and swearing at the writers. Cue the gif of a confused Donald Glover walking into the room with pizza to find everything is on fire.

One of the posts I saw was a person calmly saying something along the lines of: “Welp, that’s the last episode of The Walking Dead I’ll ever watch.” And boy, wasn’t that a throwback.

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[ 📚 = What sort of books do the mun and muse like to read? Do they have a favorite author or book? ]

Mun: I like to read fantasy and fiction books. I’m a big Wings Of Fire fan but my current favorite author is Erin Hunter ;0

Muse: I haven’t read since the fifth grade haha… but I guess I like nonfiction and stuff. Since I’m basing this off of my fifth grade self, I don’t have a favorite author but I did read a bunch of dog books!!

intersexmycroft replied to your postabo isnt just about patriarchy but it is partly…

i sorta want you to get into the specific-ass ABO stuff like. theres a version where omegas are like super rare and prized and shit and to like just KISS an omega makes you worthy and they rule the world or sth. then there’s the entire oppossite and omegas are afraid all the time of the alphas and they’re all motherfuckers and shit… not for the sake of you reading all this shit but i feel like you’d do some killer analysis

yeah like this is all textbook patriarchal roles, women are rendered as rare prizes to be won IRL, patriarchy is abt terrorizing those it subjugates and making them fearful, though to make them afraid “all the time” def signals like this fantasy to render women/subjugated people as totally passive. ill tell you a lot of this stuff has been analyzed so extensively just as it operates irl and not in this awful fan fiction 

Headcanon: Steve Rogers is a fan of the Wonder Woman comics

Headcanon: As DC is fiction within the MCU, Steve is a fan of Wonder Woman comics since the December 1941 debut. A fiercely independent brunette woman who fancies an American intelligence officer named Steve: it is the stuff of impossible fantasy.

While on the USO tour, he writes and begins to draw a whole fan series  inspired by Peggy Carter’s struggles. He pitches an idea to have a Wonder Woman USO show, even tries out a dress rehearsal like here: but the show handlers reject it

Upon defrosting,  Steve is invited to Comic-Con as an author because his Wonder Woman series in his sketchbook was rediscovered in 1998 and published, becoming the most popular modern run.

Hey guys! Please reblog if...

My dash has been getting pretty boring since I practically see the same stuff over and over again. And I need more variety. So please please please REBLOG (reblog only, I won’t check likes) if you post about any of the following:

• Doctor Who

• Harry Potter

• Game of Thrones

• How To Train Your Dragon

• Marvel (comics and/or movies)

• Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit

• Supernatural (I’m a Megstiel shipper – sorry, Destiel fans.)

• Sherlock (especially if you love John and Mary!)

• Felicia Day (or her character Charlie Bradbury from Supernatural)

• Martin Freeman

• James McAvoy

• David Tennant

• Keira Knightley

• Pride and Prejudice (or Jane Austen’s work in general) (including books and screen adaptations)

• books (preferably fantasy, fiction, or literature)

• FX’s Fargo

• or anything about classic art, nature photography, or beautiful libraries. I’m a sucker for beautiful libraries.

Please please please REBLOG (reblog ONLY – I won’t check likes) if you post about any of these and I will check you out! Or if you know anyone that you think I might be interested in following, let me know. Ask box is open! Help a girl out, please. :)


I saw the film Lucy yesterday. I see a lot of movies and don’t usually talk about them here, but this one kind of ties into some of the stuff I’ve been writing about in the last few posts, so I want to discuss it a little.

First of all, if you’re into writing or enjoy thinking about originality, I’d highly recommend seeing this movie for the sake of discussion and analysis.

Curiously, I’d also recommend it if you’re an Elder Scrolls fan who is into Vivec’s Sermons and the series’ god cosmology and stuff, since I feel that the film’s lore and ideas actually carry a lot of the same flavor - particularly when it comes to the psychology of godhood. Taken as a science fiction movie, Lucy is not very believable: the “10% of your brain” stuff they cite is completely untrue, the chemicals they describe do not give you super powers, and so on. However, taken as a fantasy story about a human ascending to something greater, I think the movie has a very interesting angle most storywriters would never consider. 

If you’re interested in it, I would suggest you watch it before reading on. The post will stay here, don’t worry. Further, spoiler-laden discussion of this below the cut. 

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Comics on the Web, Diary of an Aspiring Comic Book Writer

Welcome to Diary of an Aspiring Comic Book Writer (DACBW) the weekly series where I blab about my writing, my life, and the artist experience of comics. This week was a rough one for sure, so much work that I had to make happen. However, it was the start of #TransComicsMonth so despite me having to do a ton of work, plus the work for the month and stuff I still had a lot of fun. This week will wrap up my midtermy stuff and move me into spring break for a week. This week I dived further into the wonderful world of webcomics and I figure I’ll write some musing about webcomics and stuff.

Webcomics are an amazing thing because in many ways they are the purest form of artist expression. They are joining together so many forms of art all for no money up front (at least normally). It’s a scary world to go into for the artists involved since well you gotta eat but making webcomics takes works and working in webcomics normally requires you to dish out stuff for free. Luckily we have a ton of new ways to help out webcomics creators like crowdfunding and we have success stories like Nimona to look at. Originally for wish I hated the idea of making it a webcomic but the more I go into webcomics the more it feels like it makes sense. Now I am thinking of formats to do this in, ways to make money, etc but I really see the value in giving people art for free who may not otherwise have access.

(From Computer Love)

I think my favorite thing about webcomics after going into my dive this week is that anyone can do it. You  don’t have to be good at art, you don’t have to be typical, you don’t need to sell stories with “Wide appeal” you make the story you want to tell. Yes that can lead to some bad stuff and editors have their place but it also allows for this whole range of expression at varying levels of talent to be opened to the world. We have room for stories that are super tropey run of the mil Mary Sue type stuff, we have room for comics that experiment with the medium and what it means to be a comic, webcomics are this playground that everyone is invited to. Sure not everyone in the playground you’ll like but you don’t have to play with them.

Moving on to my own creation this week’s writing composed of actual different stuff then the last few weeks. This week I’ve done some work on an AmeriKate fanfiction, I worked a little on an idea to bring Wish to some things that actually matter to my cities culture, I work shopped how my characters make money and had some funny ideas on how all that worked out.  I also did some worshiping on my girlfriends comic series she wants to get creating that I honestly think is going to blow the lid off in comics and create a Latina hero with real impact on the culture.

This week was mostly about  Web comics I read Back Bash, Computer Love 1-2, Transgirl, Interrupted, One of the Trans Guys, SpringRoll’s Daily Life, Everyday Life of a Trans Boy, The Life of Alexis Perkins chapters 1-3  For print comics I read Rick and Morty 11, Faith 2,

Alright so a ton of comics to talk about this week and hopefully even more in the next weeks as more people learn about #TransComicsMonth. First off Back Bash, oh my god Back Bash, god read this webcomic if you’re an Adult. Normally I don’t like dark stuff but this story about the Queer Mafia is amazing fun and stunningly done so far. We have a trans man as a lead and lots of queer people to follow in it. Transgirl Interrupted, One of the Trans Guys, and Everyday Life of a Trans Boy kind of fall currently in to the same are for me of being pretty normal slice of life comics. They are cute, each have their strengths and weaknesses but there isn’t really a massive story hook to sell you on. The Life of Alexis Perkins is maybe the ultimate high school fan fiction. It’s tropey, it feels very self insert, and all of that stuff. However, if you’re a trans girl this is a slice of cake you want to enjoy if you just want to put yourself in an over the top fantasy fulfillment kind of thing. Computer Love starts kind of slow but there is a lot of interesting things going on in world building that make me want to keep following it. SpringRoll’s Daily life isn’t about trans people but it’s a cute diary of two lesbian girls on Line Webtoon that I found really adorable.  Print comics wise Rick and Morty 11 is great, a really funny issue to me. Faith 2 keeps up the solid ground work of Faith 1 and Faith proves she is a really likeable hero.

"Drunken Confessions" - One Direction Preference

In case you missedPart 1… here’s a link: “Drunken Confessions” - Part 1 

[PART 2:] 


You woke with your head aching, the sunlight pouring in through your bedroom windows. Your tight black dress was slipping down your shoulders, your once perfectly curled hair was now a mess on top of your head, and you had makeup smudged around your eyes. You walked silently to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee, and there stood Liam, coffee mug in hand. “I was just coming to check on you. How’s your head?” He crossed the room, handing you the hot cup of coffee. “It uh. Hurts a bit.” He chuckled, and you rolled your eyes. You both sat at the table, sipping your coffee, but neither of you spoke. The silence was weighing on your already pounding skull, so you asked, “Liam? Umm…” He looked at you, his rich brown eyes filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. “What ah. What happened last night? We didn’t- didn’t sleep-” he cut you off with a snort. “No. We didn’t. I would never take advantage of you like that.” His lips curled into a tight smile. You nodded, staring into your coffee mug, desperately trying not to look at him. “You did however tell me you loved me.” He rubbed the back of his neck, talking quietly. You bit your lip, glancing up at him. “I do. Love you. I guess it just took major alcohol consumption to admit it to you. You chewed on your lip again. “And to myself.” He got up, moving to your side. He pulled your lip from between your teeth, “Stop biting your lip. You’re making me crazy.” With that he crashed his lips to yours, taking your breath away. 

“Please, (Y/N). Say something.” His boldness seemed to sober him a bit. You drew in a long breath through your nose, “That’s just the alcohol talking, Niall. Go to sleep.” He sat up, hovering over you to look you dead in the eyes. “It is not. I feel this way every day. Every time I’m near ya.” He placed a hand to your cheek, his calloused thumb grazing your bottom lip. All you could do was stare at him, his brilliant blue eyes drawing you in. You could feel his gaze searching your eyes for some sort of reassurance. You’d never let yourself think of him in a romantic way. He was always just Niall. Funny, sweet, lovable Niall. The big brother you trusted to look after you. But now, you could feel your heart shifting. Now, with his body so close to yours, and his lips just inches away, it was impossible not to feel something more. So, you kissed him. Strong and confident. A long, fierce kiss on the lips. He rolled over you, keeping your body to the bed with his own. His hands were everywhere, moving with a desperate urgency. His lips were hot on your neck, and you were already panting. He pushed your shirt up past your stomach, exposing the smooth skin underneath, before reaching for your pants. “Niall. Wait. We can’t.” He kissed you again, “Sure we can. We’ll be safe.” He reached once more for the button on your jeans. You pushed him back, sitting up to catch your breath. “No. I mean, we can’t. As in, I won’t. Not like this. Not when you’re drunk.” He opened his mouth to protest, but you stopped him. “Niall. It’s- I’m a virgin. I just- I want my first time to be special.” You looked away, tucking your hair behind your ear. He placed a hand on your thigh, “Oh. I’m sorry, love. I- I didn’t know. Of course it should be special. C’mere.” He pulled you close to him, hugging you to his chest. He kissed your forehead lightly. “Let’s just sleep. Okay?” You smiled, relaxing into him. 

You hiccuped violently as the tears continued to flow down your pale face. He couldn’t take this. He pulled the car over to the side of the road, putting it in park. He turned sideways in his seat so he could look at you. “(Y/N). Please. Don’t cry, babe.” Your wiped your eyes with the back of your hands, trying to get a hold of yourself. “I’m- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Just take me home.” He ran his hands roughly through his jet black hair. He didn’t know what he should say. He didn’t want to hurt you any more than he already had. But the truth was that he had always loved you, from the day he met you. You were beautiful, not just in the way you looked, but on the inside too. You had a huge heart.  You were selfless, always putting other people’s needs before your own. He swore your smile could light up the whole entire city, and your laugh was simply infectious. He loved everything about you. “I never knew that ya felt that way. I hate that I’ve caused you pain.” He rubbed the scruffy beard on his chin, trying to scrub away his frustration. “But. I’m not good enough for you.” You whipped your head around to look at him. Your eyebrows were scrunched together. How could he ever think that? He had to be joking. “What?” You blurted. “Not good enough? For me?” You were shaking your head, making yourself dizzy. You felt like you might puke, and not just because of all the alcohol. His words made you feel sick. “You can’t be serious?” But when you looked at him, and at his deep brown eyes, it was painfully obvious that he was serious. You leaned over the center consul of the car, reaching a small hand to his face. “You, Zayn Malik, are one of the good ones. You are so kind and sweet, and thoughtful.” You traced his jaw with your fingertips, running your hand down his chest. You felt his heart beating beneath his leather jacket, and you smiled. “You have a heart made of gold. Don’t ever say you’re not good enough.” He placed one of his hands over yours, and hooked the other behind your head, pulling your lips to his.

He looked so sad and hurt, like a wounded puppy. “No. Louis. Of course you didn’t do anything.” You grabbed his hands in yours, giving them a quick squeeze. “Then why did you push me away? Why won’t you let me kiss you?” You could tell he was frustrated, his brain clouded with alcohol. “We always dance together. I thought you liked me? I thought maybe you wanted more from me?” He moved closer to you, pulling you in to him, wrapping his arms around your middle. He rested his forehead to yours, swaying you to the slow music. “I do like you, Louis. That’s part of the problem. I- I’m afraid that tomorrow, you’ll wake up, sober and you’ll regret this.” You gestured to your bodies, pressed together, moving slowly on the dance floor. “But I would never hurt you. Drunk. Sober. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. The alcohol doesn’t change my heart.” Your own heart grew tight in your chest, his words were so powerful. So heavy with meaning. His blue eyes were exceptionally bright when he said, “I should have told you how I feel a long time ago. I should have told you how beautiful you are. How I can’t get you out of my head. How, I’ve thought about kissing you.” With that he kissed you once on the cheek. Soft and sweet, and then again at the corner of your mouth. His smooth lips teasing your skin. “Please, don’t push me away. I want this. I want you.” You drew in a breath, his words piercing your heart. You had always had feelings for him. And now you knew that he felt the same way about you. “I want you too,” you breathed, finally colliding your pink lips with his. 

You were mortified. You’d never meant for Harry to hear that. You hadn’t even meant to tell Liam. You couldn’t think straight, and the room was starting to spin. You had to get out of there. Had to get some air. “(Y/N)-” You didn’t wait for Harry to finish, you pushed past him, running straight out the front door. By the time you got outside the tears were streaming down your face, stinging your eyes. Seconds later a strong hand grabbed your arm, spinning you around. Through your tear soaked eyes you could just make out Harry’s face, his green eyes lacking their usual shine. Instead they were clouded with pain. “Harry, let me go. Just let go,” you choked, struggling to pull away, but he was so much stronger than you, overpowering you with ease. Fresh tears spilled from your eyes, and he pulled your small body tight to his own, wrapping his long arms around you. Your body was shaking, your sobs jolting you both. “Shhh. You don’t have to cry, love.” You looked up at him, through your wet eye lashes, pulling yourself together. “I’m sorry. I-” he cut you off, pressing his lips quickly to yours, holding you close. He smiled that perfect dimpled smile, “If that doesn’t prove that you’re so much more than a friend to me. Then I don’t know what will.” You gave him a shy smile, locking your lips back on his. 

The Best-Worst Writing Advice You Will Ever Get

I have a writing tip that will probably make your head explode. Yes, explode.

No, really! It’s illogical. It’s counterintuitive. It will make you think that I’m some kind of sad idiot, but stick with me, okay? I promise it will at least make you think about the way you go about writing.

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Scandal 410: Analysis of Olivia's Dream in Thematic Context

I’ve decided not to do full commentary on the entire Run episode itself (though it was such a treat) for various reasons.However, I do want to make one contribution. There have been a lot of feelings about Olivia’s dream sequence from the latest episode of Scandal, Run (410). Tumblr deleted into thin air a response I wrote on Friday morning. Having gained a lot more clarity in just the last 24 hours (I’m pathetic; I get ideas in the middle of the night about this show :o( ), I’m now glad that happened. So high-five to Tumblr on that mistake. I’ve come to better understand how Olivia’s dream is informed by past and present themes in her life, including, but not limited to: escape from emotional adversity, protection of/from herself, the idea of ‘normal’, and the construction of identity.

Let’s just go throughthe dream sequentially. We’ve only seen Olivia dream one other time thisseason, but I have noted some familiar parallels with sequencing and themesthat relate to her dream here. Much like we’ve seen in An Innocent Man (406), Olivia engages in Inception-like dreams. They begin with logical actions, then, likely as she enters REM, move into an indulgent fantasy. They then end, prodded by familiar fear, waking her up to an immediate reality requiring her intervention. This time, however, the person who needs the intervention is herself. She is her own problem and her own solution.

The Rescue

Every character in this dream has been conjured and scripted by Olivia herself, reflecting in many ways, the purpose they hold in her life. The dream begins with a Special Ops team, led by Jake, rescuing her. He swoops in and literally scoops her up into his arms, carrying her away from danger. This makes sense in several ways. First, the obvious: it was never gonna be Fitz. As I said above, early in Olivia’s dreams, we see familiar and logical things occurring to her (remember in 406, her dream begins with her swimming her stress away). As the President, Fitz would never be in a position to do the physical lifting, so to speak, especially of a woman who’s been publicly accused of being his mistress. So, Olakers, relax your wigs, 

Secondly, we have been inundated with examples of Jake’s obsession with playing hero. Conversations in 408 and 409 concerning Rowan’s capture are the most recent examples, but we’ve known this about him since season 2B. Though I certainly can, I will refrain from regaling you with every instance.

Thirdly, Jake’s role is utilitarian for Olivia. This is later repeated near the end when she repeats “heart, hips, head” (409) to herself before shooting her kidnapper. Like his imagined heroism, this is a theme on the show, and indicative of the general purpose he serves in her life. He was a companion to abate her loneliness the last time she ran away from her problems (318), and he’s been keeping her company ever since, as she tries out a stilted sense of normalcy.

Vermont Happy Place

After Jake rescues Olivia from a literal and figurative dark place, she is delivered to the light of Vermont, her go-to happy place in her mind. Poof! Everything’s normal and happy, after all! I’m where I belong, she likely tells herself after waking up in her bed. But she’s just deeper into a very familiar dream. In contrast to the quick in and out of her being rescued by Jake, this Vermont sequence is the indulgent part of her dream. She is comfortable, confident, contentedly in love, and all smiles in this dream. Have you ever seen Olivia smile that much? She has imagined all the superficial details of the stage on which her quixotic sense of happiness plays out. There are many things to dissect before the fantasy becomes warped, but here are the things that I found very interesting:

•She’s married to Fitz, as is evidenced by the ginormous rock on her hand, and his upgraded platinum band. This is important because Fitz is the one who usually verbalizes the fantasy. It’s nice to see in her conjuring, that she very much wants this. The absence of Olitz babies tells me picturing children is harder because it’s so unfamiliar. Or maybe she wants Fitz to herself for a while before having children. The absence of Fitz’s children did not concern me. Teddy could be with Mellie in a shared custody deal. Karen goes to boarding school.

•The fridge is stocked with actual food! Fitz was eating breakfast! This is important. At the beginning of the episode, we see Olivia retrieve beer from her fridge for Jake. Only other liquids can be glimpsed. In Vermont, she’s living and taking care of herself. She’s not eating junk food to forget her problems, or drowning her sorrows in a bottle of decanted red wine.

•She branded her jam, lol. Is it for sale, or does she just give it away?

•Everyone loves Fitz instead of trying to destroy him. I think it’s adorable that she imagines everyone to see in Fitz what she sees in him.

Olivia is so openly affectionate, and she imagines receiving Fitz’s love openly, without hesitation

•She’s still advising Fitz on how to be his best in every situation. Even throwing out the first pitch for a Burlington baseball team. So friggin’ cute.

•The shower scene is reminiscent of the one in 220. I remarked the other day how giddy I was to see this because I literally just wrote about the shower being my favorite moment ever, due to the pure joy on Olivia’s face. It’s very common for recurring dreams to feature at least one episodic memory. The appearance of this moment as a daily meme in her fantasy tells me it’s one of Olivia’s favorites as well. 

Before I get to Tom, Abby and fuckin’ TJ showing his goddamn face again, there’s already a clear problem with Olivia’s vision of the future: It’s not a life. As conjured, it’s a glossy Town and Country magazine escapist fantasy. It reflects a life that no one actually lives (maybe on the perfect holiday). The re-use of “Sunny” supports that. In my 401 review, I mentioned that “Sunny” is not a person, but a state of mind. As such anything and anyone can be “Sunny”. Just as in 401, we hear the song and see Olivia alone before we see the context of her life. In Vermont, life is sunny. Much like the island she was on with Jake, this life is easy, breezy, beautiful for our cover girl. What makes the Vermont fantasy just like the African island is the sense of isolation from family, friends, and her work - around which she has built her very identity. It really is that ‘other life’ Fitz spoke of in 302.

That’s fine for a dream, but they don’t have another life; they only have this one. For a woman who rejected a version of this life with another man (213)—minus the jam—because she didn’t want a quotidian life that was ‘simple,’ and ‘easy’, what we see in Vermont sure does look that way. It is the stuff of fan fiction (that is not shade). She skipped all the hard parts and went straight to happy. Or what she imagines ‘happy’ to look like in a fetishized rendering.

Fear, Insecurity, and Anxiety

Then the dream starts to get a bit dark as the parts of Olivia that nag at her, tell her she can’t have the life she wants, pop up like ominous characters in a Charles Dickens novel. Tom and Abby show up as manifestations of Olivia’s subconscious: Fear (Tom) and Anxious Logic (Abby). In her 406 dream, both those things were represented in Rowan (“For god’s sake, Olivia, wake up!”). Tom reminds her that she’s not supposed to be there, but that he, as Fitz’s protector, is. In what must be a regular fantasy that lulls her to sleep, Tom seems new. Remember, it was just in 407 that Tom tells Olivia that she is the only person from whom he has failed to protect Fitz. Olivia quickly connected the dots back to Fitz as the reason she had been kidnapped and hauled halfway across the world:

“Either I’m in danger, or…[pregnant pause of realization]”

Because Fitz loves her, Olivia is once again being used as a weapon of political leverage. Instead of blaming the assholes exploiting her relationship, she blames herself for loving him–that Fitz is only able to be hurt because of that love. Olivia has always seen herself as a problem in Fitz’s life, the reason why he can’t be ‘a better man’. Clearly this has been one of her reasons for running away from their relationship when things get difficult, time and time again (more on this further down). But here Tom is, at Olivia’s request, to protect Fitz…from her. The impossibility of Tom’s task has not stymied her attempt to shield Fitz from the wounds she believes she’s bound to inflict. Remember, she’s convinced that she can’t form (healthy) attachments to people because of her mother’s abandonment and her father’s dark arts (306). 

Next we see Thomas Jefferson and Olivia out for their daily walk. The boysenberry jam must be setting. Soon as I saw his ass, I was like, wayment, isn’t that…son of a bitch, it’s TJ! Haven’t you done enough already?! Haven’t you? Anyway, TJ’s presence, for me, signifies the baggage that Olivia and Fitz are bringing into their future. Because y’all, if he was just a dog, it could have been any dog. But it isn’t. It’s the dog. Without re-hashing the whole season one story line of Amanda Tanner, Fitz never really did answer Olivia’s question: “did you give her [Amanda Tanner] that dog” (101)? Maybe Olivia still wonders about that sometimes. Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind, she wonders if he will hurt her again in that way since their relationship began as an adulterous affair. Or maybe TJ serves as a reminder of the trust that was broken between them because Fitz lied to her, and she didn’t want to believe that he could. TJ is there to be like a Cancerian: we forgive, but we don’t ever forget that you did that shit. On that note, TJ also represents Olivia and Fitz’s ability to get through betrayal. Speaking of getting through…

How perfect is it that Olivia’s logic manifests in sassy Abby, the ghost of the (kidnapped) present. It was Abby who first challenged Olivia on a decision she made: “You don’t get to decide when the real Olivia Pope shows up. You made the wrong call!” (104). And as recently as 318, she challenged Olivia over her decision to trust and leave on a plane arranged by a man she hated, even if he is her father. Lastly, when Jake was falsely imprisoned, and a confused and devastated Olivia needed her friend, it was in Red, that Olivia confided about the current shenanigans of her life and her history with Fitzgerald Grant (implied, 405-406).

Olivia: “You have to stop calling me. You can’t just show up anymore. I’m with Fitz. I chose Vermont and this life with Fitz. I’m happy here.”

Abby: “That’s the thing, Liv. You didn’t choose Fitz. You didn’t choose this life. He resigned from office just like that, and, poof, you’re here? Where’s Mellie? Where are his kids? Where’s the press I bet would be swarming you on a daily basis if the President of the United States went all Wallis Simpson on America? And what, now you make jam for a living? Really?! Do you know how to use a dutch oven? Do you know how to turn on a regular oven? What about Huck? You leave Huck and get a dog. And Huck’s what? In a pound somewhere? None of this makes any sense.”

Olivia: “For once, I’m not trying to make sense. I’m not trying to be logical. I’m being happy.”

Lol at the shade. I think a lot of people aren’t completely sure what’s happening here. Here’s how I see it. It’s clear that Olivia is used to Abby (anxiety of logic) intervening in this part of her recurring dream. But really it’s that part of Olivia that has repeatedly told her that the life that she wants with man she loves is not possible because other people depend on her (Huck), or because she ‘owes’ something to someone (Jake). It’s not that it’s impossible;it’s just that how she has conjured it is fantastical. She skipped over all the hard parts, all the annoyances and inconveniences of making a life as the second wife to the ex-President of the United States, who also has three two children. How does she reconcile a life with him as a woman whose entire identity is built around the Olivia Pope persona? Too hard, skip, make jam and don’t think about it, at least not in dreamland.

Olivia has built a career on logic, helping clients get out of a tough spot, or work their way through a crisis. Even the plan Olivia came up with in 222 detailed how Fitz and Mellie would deal with the divorce, and what Fitz would do as a bachelor before publicly getting together with Olivia. There was nothing about how Olivia would get through that time. Olivia treated that plan as a job, not as something intimately connected to herself as a person. She gladiates for every one but herself. Even Ian picked this up very quickly about her:

“The secret to you is that you always have to save everyone” (410).

Who has saved her up to this point? Daddy. Since the age of 12, Rowan has created hatches for Olivia to escape personal adversity so that she can focus on excellence (306, 222/301, 318). And she is excellent—at her job, not at her life. But those escape hatches have left emotional wounds. Conditioned for the flight instead of the fight, Olivia has also run from Fitz when their challenges seemed personally insurmountable to her, or challenged her emotionally in ways she was ill-equipped to deal with. One of the ways character is built is through dealing with adversity. If one runs from that emotional adversity, how can one evolve?

Rowan has admitted to failing Olivia (408); and Maya remarked that Rowan ruined Olivia. They are right. The failure was in trying to protect Olivia from emotional burden (while causing plenty in the process). Doing so does not prepare her for adulthood, which is kinda the point of parenthood. It was only recently that Olivia stood up to her father’s unrelenting intervention in her life. So, without the guise of his protection, she has to fight for her life and her right to live, not just exist as the representational fantasies of other people. For nearly 15 years (she’s almost 35), Olivia created an identity for herself as ‘The Protector’ (newspaper clippings, 308). A protector depends upon objects that need protecting. If nothing and no one needs protecting, does she cease to exist as a person? Who is she outside of that superhero persona? Recall that on an African island with Jake (401), with no one to save or protect, ‘Olivia Pope’ ceased to be. She became 'Julia Baker’. 

In her Vermont fantasy, Fitz had an identity, she didn’t. We’ve been asking Who is Olivia Pope? for a long time.  It is that Olivia who is being developed right now. At least that is what I began sensing in my S4 poster analysis. It was necessary to cast off the oppressive, patriarchal rule of Rowan to do so. After all, for so long, indeed, it was like father like daughter. Rowan derives his whole identity from being the protector of the Republic, and Olivia was an extension of that.

However, Olivia is not doomed to a life of running away from love and emotional hurdles just because her parents failed her. Olivia and Fitz grew up in really similar circumstances. They both had mothers who died, or “died”. Both were left with grand patriarchs who think emotion is weakness (307, 409). These fathers focused almost entirely on preparing their children for greatness, to the detriment of their personal development as human beings. Fitz developed emotionally in the opposite direction. Instead of shunning love for his protection, he craved and embraced it as his salvation, like a Rihanna song:

“I feel like I’m a hopeless romantic, I can’t help falling in love/ I fiend for love—I want it, I crave it/ I just can’t get enough/I wear my heart on my sleeve/Always let love take the lead”—Drunk on Love

But here’s the thing, Olivia and Fitz both want the same thing: to share a life of truthfulness with someone in which they are unapologetically themselves. And they can have that if they do the individual work first. My personal motto is a better me and a better you is a happier us.

Abby: “Doesn’t matter who you love. Look at me. Jake and Fitz can’t help you. There is no man to rescue you. Do you hear me? No one is going to help you. You are the only Gladiator in the place. You are all you’ve got. You’ve got to rescue yourself.”

Olivia: “But, Abby—“

Abby: ”You dropped something.”

Having already acknowledged that Rowan won’t come to save her, Olivia is holding out hope that one of the other men in her life will rescue her. She fantasized about a literal rescue by Jake (“It’s OK, I’ve got you”); then immediately pivoted to a metaphorical rescue by Fitz, where they live happily ever after with shower sex every day. She didn’t have to do any of the work to get out of one jam and into the boysenberry (horrible pun intended);). But Abby admonishes Olivia that it is up to her to save herself by gladiating her way out of this circumstance. As the logic of her subconscious, Abby points to some unrecognizable help: the pipe ring. Olivia has seen that ring several times a day since she’s been abducted, but she’s never thought it useful. In her dream she brings the ring into her Vermont bathroom, where, Tom, her fear, tells her there is no way out. Skirting despair, Olivia leans on logic, which gives her hope. Hope fuels her adrenaline and gives her the level-headedness to escape her present situation. It’s too bad that the whole thing was a mini Truman Show, representing just one hurdle in a series of many for our Lara Croft.

Clearly there is a double meaning in Abby’s words, and also for Olivia’s kidnapping. First, the obvious: As it stands, Abby is right, Olivia, as of 409, did not choose Fitz, or Jake. But, as Abby says, right now it doesn’t matter for whom her love tolls. She chose herself. The beginning of Olivia realizing what that means starts with her kidnapping. She is isolated, not needing to tend to anyone’s crisis but her own survival. On two occasions her kidnappers tell her: “there are a lot worse things than death.” That’s right. The thing about death is that it’s a way out of the challenge of living. The fear of death, I imagine, is worse than actual death. Worse than death are hopelessness and loneliness. In kidnapping and in life, Olivia is fighting both.

Tom was right, there is no way out of there. Wherever she goes, there she is. It is up to Olivia to find a way through. That should be familiar since it was my Fitzgerald, in It’s Handled (301), who compelled Olivia to stick with him and find a way through mistressgate instead of a way out. Olivia must be impelled toward this understanding, which can only come from within. As I’ve said before, no decision about me without me. Olivia is her own way through. No matter how much she distracts herself with Jake, or catapults herself over adversity, straight into the future with Fitz, Olivia has to be OK and find meaningfulness (other than in her work) on her own. To have the life she wants, she must be willing to fight for it because no one will give it to her.

It is not lost on me that the episode is ironically entitled Run, something so familiar to Olivia, but the opposite of what she is able to do in this situation. She can’t get out, so she has to get through. The gladiating she has to do is mostly mental and emotional, not methodical. The last words we hear, and Olivia repeats in her head, are actually from Rowan:

“You are on your own” (408).

But it is when we are on our own that we figure out exactly what we are made of. There’s a lot of work to be done, indeed, and this is just the beginning.

asemblanceofart  asked:

I have trouble writing settings, not the routine ones i.e someone's house or an office or place like that, but like geographical ones. If my fictional town is located in a valley, I wouldn't know how to describe it? Also I'm a big fan of historical fantasy so this proves to be very irksome, like I don't know the proper terms to describe stuff e.g. just yesterday I found out that the thing where they hang people from is called a gallows. How can I improve in this sort of stuff?

Get to researching. (Glossary of Geographic Terms, here).

Landforms/Bodies of Water

Types of Valleys - Photos of Valleys

Types of Mountains

Bear in mind you don’t always have to use the appropriate geographical terms, especially if it’s not appropriate for the setting or atmosphere of your story. But knowing what they’re called gives you a place to start when it comes to looking up source photos for inspiration as well as for finding out how people might set up a village in a valley (as an example). People living in a low, flat valley will have different reasons for living there and a different way of life than people living in a narrow valley bordered by high peaks, for example. 

What I find most infuriating about the ethos that rejects fantasy while valorizing science fiction is not merely that it’s an aesthetic preference masquerading as some sort of firm and emphatic declaration of standards, but that it’s so utterly dishonest about it. We shrug and say “well, some people don’t like that’ whenever people get up in arms because, god forbid, some fantasy elements have gotten into Doctor Who, but the idea of anyone complaining that the show is wasting too much time trying to explain the science of things is considered bizarre. We think nothing of people who complain about the moon being an egg or the plot of In the Forest of the Night, and yet the idea of someone saying "why do they bother talking about how the miniaturizer in Into the Dalek works” or “can’t we just have a mummy without a bunch of technobabble about things being out of phase” is almost comically ludicrous. 

And this isn’t just a Doctor Who thing. Science fiction people look down on “unscientific” stuff all the time, but fantasy fans never try to pull genre rank on sci-fi.

Which suggests that there’s something else going on. One possibility is a cultural bias towards rationalism above all else - that the magical and the mystical are actively looked down upon in comparison with the scientific, even when that supposedly scientific is so shot through with fudging and imagination as to be well past the point of being indistinguishable from magic.

But I’d suggest another one, particularly relevant to Doctor Who, which comes from a sort of generational fandom. “Science” looking down at all that “fantasy crap” is little more than a way for male fans to complain that their show’s gone to hell ever since all these women started watching without actually having to say anything so overtly sexist.

Which means, of course, that it’s not about scientific accuracy at all.

It’s actually about ethics in video game journalism. 

So it’s been confirmed that Mumei is 12 years old.

I already see male anime fans saying stuff like,“ Okay, we don’t give a damn” or “12? That’s doesn’t mean anything, she’s still hot”.


You can think Mumei is pretty or badass (which she is). That’s fine. But you will NOT use a 12 year old character for your sick fantasies of female anime characters. I don’t give a damn if she’s a fictional character, but that’s still disgusting and WRONG.

You know why?


anonymous asked:

This isn't really a question for you so much as a request to other anons. You dudes got to stop asking the writers to write out your fantasies! If you want to see characters make out and stuff, that's what fanart and fan fiction is for. What you're asking for is out of character behaviour and fan service (fan service isn't a bad thing, but there's already quite a bit as it is). Criticism is fine, but making requests based on what you want to see ruins the integrity of the story and characters.

LOL…it’s understandable–I and many of the people working on the books make ourselves very accessible. There are certainly creators and projects where I would love to suggest ideas or directions. 

That said…legally, I am not allowed to read unsolicited story ideas, so any really worked out elaborate suggestions I need to discard without reading. Most of the suggestions involve Deadpool and Spider-Man (note the hyphen) being in a relationship…and look…that is just unlikely to happen. Spider-Man has never been written as a character with any interest in men whatsoever.

anonymous asked:

Look we re all sick to death of all your caryl fantasies. I am not saying you are bad at writing but you should really file your little stories under fan fiction cause that's where they belong. It's not nice to see someone waste their talent so since I believe you write some good stuff if you insist on not calling it what it is FICTION can you at least write something real, something about what Daryl and Beth have going on? Their relationship happened and caryl didn't?

Dear Anon,

I feel rather strangely conflicted about your message because while YOU are giving ME a compliment YOU are also insulting MY own sense of reality and essentially suggesting that MY opinions and MY perceptions are in fact delusional or as you say - fictional!
That implies that you either think I am crazy, that I can’t think for myself or that I can’t be trusted to distinguish between something real and something imagined.
Of course you might also be concerned that I am not familiar with Tumblr tags and that i might be mistakenly “filing” my posts in the wrong place? Another reason could be that you wanted to perhaps send me a prompt or a topic suggestion for a future blog post?

Regardless of your intent I guess you are expecting me thank you for the message, explain myself and my posts to you and basically assure you that I will now rectify the situation with your help?
I think we both know that the chances of that happening are pretty slim…right?
But you were somewhat complimentary and somewhat polite so I will try to give you the same courtesy back and dignify your message with a proper response….

First of all the posts you are referring to just like all the other “analysis”, speculation, discussion or opinion blogs on tumblr (regardless of fandom) are indeed fictional and based purely on the authors personal opinion on the subject or the authors own interpretation of the topic at hand. Nobody claims that their writing is entirely factual because nobody could ever be 100% accurate, 100% of the time - we are all commenting on someone else’s work so we can never be sure of the original purpose or intent that the creator had in mind in the first place.

My CARYL metas are written on what I perceive, feel or think TWD is trying to say about the relationship between two fictional characters - Carol and Daryl!
I share my own view about what these two people have together, I suggest the direction I personally feel their connection is headed, I contemplate their future relationships and interactions with others AND I express how I feel about who and what they are.

I might be completely WRONG BUT I think the issue here is that you are concerned at just how RIGHT I might be!
I think my hopefulness about CARYL in the future is making you uncomfortable, I think reading my posts is threatening your own perception of Daryl and Carol’s connection and I think you want me to stop reminding you that there is a very likely alternative relationship direction TWD writers just might finally follow through on!

I get it! It’s upsetting for sure!
Nobody likes to be shown something they don’t like and nobody certainly wants to doubt or be told that something they feel “happened” actually didn’t at all!
Carylers have had to hear that CARYL is “delusional”, “forced”, “old news”, “ridiculous”, “imagined”, “wishful thinking”, “pathetic”, “dead”…
I’ve seen it all before, it’s made me mad, it’s made me laugh, it’s made me bitter and it’s even made me sad! It was hurtful and mind numbing but unlike you I didn’t actively go searching for it, I didn’t go into other ship tags and wasted time reading that ships interpretations, I didn’t message other shippers and insult them, I didn’t comment to tell them they were wrong and I certainly didn’t send passive aggressive messages like this one and ask them to write something about “Daryl and Beth”!

If I saw a post that was hateful, mean or even irrelevant to CARYL I simply blocked the blogger, black-listed words I knew could ruin my mood and made sure to follow people on my dash that talked about things they LOVED and not things I HATED.
It was a simple strategy and it’s definitively not perfect but it usually works pretty great!
I am telling you - it will make you feel so much calmer and so much better if you give it a try!

I am sorry if my posts hurt your feelings or upset you in any way - it wasn’t my intention of course and if you go back in my archive I can guarantee you that I have never tagged anything written by me with another ship. I don’t need negativity in my life and doing so would only invite trouble and pointless bickering. I write about things I love so why would I purposely go searching for or inviting others who I know are just waiting to ruin it for me?
Block me and forget me I exist - it’s really that simple!

However for the record I don’t deny neither Carol and Daryl OR Daryl and Beth - both relationships happened BUT for me they happened differently than they did for you.

Carol and Daryl have been building a very strong, close emotional connection that has inspired a change within them both to a point that they became stronger, happier and “whole” together. For four seasons they have continued to get closer, more comfortable and more essential to one another AND they did it by choice, because they gravitated towards one another as a man and a woman.

Daryl and Beth have been in close proximity since season two and yet made no attempts to have any kind of a personal relationship with each other until they were “forced” to be in close proximity and alone together. Both didn’t know or understand one another until they basically had no other choice but to be in the same place. The extreme circumstances and shared grief bonded them together and I see them as having a very close familial relationship now BUT nothing I saw on screen gave me any indication that there might be a reciprocated romantic bond between them.

Beth and Daryl happened BUT Carol and Daryl did too - I see CARYL as being much more significant, more powerful and ultimately the only one that’s been developed in a way that promises a lasting romantic LOVE potential between two damaged and yet beautiful people.

This is my opinion, the way I interpret the things I personally see and I have the right to say so - just as you are free to disagree with me and see the whole debacle differently!
Now that you know how I see Daryl and Beth if you want me to write a meta on them I can certainly do that BUT somehow I doubt that’s the reason you reached out to me.

Just remember you have the power to make me go away with a click of a button - it’s not complicated and I can see that it might bring you some peace of mind.
Only you have the power to make my “CARYL Fantasies” disappear from your dash or wherever you ended up finding me…

I’ll Be Caryling On But You Don’t Have To


A few things about the Hugos

I’m almost through this year’s Voting Packet and would like to say a few things:

1. Hugo voting is for members and supporters of WorldCon. So, to vote, all you need to do is make a $50 donation to WorldCon. (Yes, I know that’s out of reach for many of you, but for others it might be worth it, and the packet often contains multiple full length ebooks).

2. We need more variety in Best Dramatic Presentation, both long and short forms. No, this isn’t a complaint about Doctor Who being nominated every year (the reason Doctor Who gets nominated every year is because Whovians are better at coming to a consensus about which episode to nominate than other fandoms, as far as I can tell).

No, what I mean is: Best Dramatic Presentation Long Form does not equal movie, and Short Form does not equal television episode.

From the Hugo website “The award can be given to a dramatized presentation in any medium.”

This means stage plays (Harry Potter and the Cursed Child if it’s any good) are eligible.

Video games are considered a dramatic presentation per the Hugo rules. I wouldn’t be able to vote for one, but some of the excellent games out there (the 90 minute cutoff would presumably be play time) could use to be recognized.

Audio dramas are eligible. Why has nobody nominated anything from Big Finish?

3. Best Related Work is a disgusting mess. Because so few people nominate, it was taken over by not the Sad Puppies (which has turned into a good thing) but by Vox Day’s Rabid Puppies.

One of the works nominated was outright hateful. Another contained such explicit descriptions of child molestation that MidAmeriCon’s lawyers advised them not to distribute it because of the risk of somebody being arrested for kiddie porn. Or so they say, I didn’t want to risk reading it…

A third was a book about how to fight SJWs by Day himself which - and I feel I can say this - was strewn with personal attacks against multiple people and promoted unethical activity.

The other two were good and I was surprised to find the treatise on Gene Wolfe’s fiction by John C. Wright (another extreme right winger and somebody who’s fiction I find all but unreadable) to be quite well written, interesting and award-worthy.

But outright hate for any group (including Vox Day and his friends) doesn’t belong in the Hugo packet. Neither does, uh…yeah…that.

So, in addition to pointing out to people that they can nominate things other than movies and TV shows, I’d like to toss out a challenge to people - including people who can’t afford the voting fee - to find good Related Works that can be nominated. (Please don’t post exactly five, that’s a slate, and we know those are bad).

Related Works are, essentially, non fiction related to science fiction and fantasy (or “works valuable primarily for things other than fiction”). So, if you find a cool biography of a writer, or even of an actor or director primarily known for genre work, talk about it. Scholarly or fan written works about a book, video game, movie, TV show, etc, also fit into this category. I am also pretty sure that books about writing science fiction and fantasy would be eligible. Collections of art are specifically eligible per the Hugo page. Books about the culture of fandom are eligible - just please don’t promote something that attacks any group or person. If a writer you know has published their memoirs, consider that. Finally, although it’s not clear from the site, it might be possible to nominate “Making of” documentaries associated with a movie, TV show, etc. We really need to get a lot more stuff nominated in this category so it isn’t all coming from one source, and to try and keep out stuff (best fan writer also has some problems in this area - please do nominate your favorite blogger) that promotes a political or social agenda rather than truly being about science fiction, fantasy, and fandom.