My friend and I were texting and she randomly said, “Oh, it’s 11:11 P.M.” Now, I’m not silly or superstitious, but I think it’s fun to make 11:11 wishes. Call it romanticism, but I love to believe that some things are just beyond our control. Maybe only the stars and the universe and 11:11 wishes can control them. And every time I happen to realize it’s 11:11, I wish to miraculously get some things I’ve been wanting for a long time, or some event that I’ve been daydreaming about to happen, or just for everything in my life to be okay.
But today, without a second thought, I only wished for you to be happy.
I haven’t heard your voice in 5 days, and oh that’s a huge deal to me. You said you couldn’t reach me for 4 months, and oh that’s a huge deal to me.
The first day I didn’t talk to you I thought, “Damn, my day is incomplete.”
The second day I didn’t talk to you I thought, “I feel so empty.”
The third day I thought, “I miss you you so much”
The fourth day I thought, “Please just call me, I can’t live without you.”
But today? I just hope you’re doing okay. Okay, I can learn to live without you. I can learn to go about my way even though there’s that shadow of pain somewhere deep in my heart. We couldn’t live without each other for even a few hours, but now I’ll teach myself how to. My heart sinks every time I see your contact on my phone and I’ll miss the times your number was the last called, but I guess I can learn to block out the screaming in my head. Maybe I can even learn to block out your voice whispering in my head, “Darling, love you,” over and over again. I can do that.
But every night before I go to sleep I’ll still think of you and I’ll pray to the universe to give you a little happiness. I’m no longer selfish, love. All I want is for you to be peaceful, free, happy.
And, guess what? Once in a while, the stars align, and 11:11 wishes come true.
I believe that there’s no greater love thanks mine for you, and I believe that when wishes and prayers are made for someone else, they come true.