this is the right player this time

lordofgeeks  asked:

Point relevant to the Mary Sue discussion: I (and a number of critics I follow) feel like it's a overused term as it's one nebulously defined enough to be able to be used on any character one doesn't like. For example: certain folks use the term on Rey from TFA and Diane from Wonder Woman, when both characters have serious character based flaws that effect plot. Where they are right is that these characters (and Jace for that matter) are audience ciphers, but flawless they are not.

I have stated many times that I believe Jace’s popularity (and remember in our market research he crushes the competition as the most popular planeswalker) is due in a big part to his ability to be a player stand-in.

I just don’t believe he is written as an infallible character that can do no wrong.

Minerva Mcgongall pulled out her notebook and turned to the page that listed the names and details of that years Gryffindor Quidditch team. Her heart swelling with pride she jotted down the name “Harry Potter” next to the position “Seeker” before closing the book and opening a second drawer. She took out a small, wooden box and rummaged in it for a few seconds before withdrawing a worn out envelope, inside of which was a short letter and a photograph.

“Dearest Minnie,

Hope you’re doing well! I’m the same of course, driving Lily up the wall as usual, she sends you her love by the way!

Now I know I told you that you’ll never find a chaser as good as me ever again, but it just goes to show that even the brilliant are sometimes mistaken. I’ve found you (made you!) a replacement who will one day outshine his old man by leagues! Enclosed is a photograph of your new Quidditch prodigy so that you may assess his skills for yourself. We have him chasing the cat for practice. He’ll be unbeatable by the time he starts at Hogwarts! The youngest Quidditch player in a century!

I guarantee it, Minnie. And you know I’m never wrong, though you’ll never admit it!

Missing you and Hogwarts terribly,

Lots of love,

James

P.S. Sirius says his marriage proposal still stands.”

Wiping away a single tear that ran down her cheek and chuckling to herself, she smiled down at the photograph of a small, gleeful, black haired boy zooming along in a toy broom, a pair of legs chasing after him and a young woman laughing hysterically in a corner.

“Right again, Mr. Potter.”

you know what would have been great? if ron got sorted into slytherin.

imagine– we have this kid on the train, the first friend harry meets, with his corned beef sandwiches and smudged nose. ron is eleven years old and he wants gryffindor, because he’s a weasley and that’s what always happens. but it doesn’t happen.

what a way to redeem slytherin house– or, god, at least complicate it. because ron is petty. he is mean and sharp and ambitious and jealous– and he is loyal to the ends of the earth. he is all those things, and he is and always has been good.

potter becomes before weasley in the alphabet, so harry says not slytherin please and gets told might as well be gryffindor. percy and fred and george are all sitting there in red and gold, ruffling the already-ruffled hair of the boy who lived, smug, and then ron sits down and the hat spits out slytherin!

c'mon it’d be fun. just imagine–

  • the weasleys freaking out– but even that first christmas molly sends him a sweater in beautiful green and silver.

  • snape taking points from gryffindor when ron breaks rules or mouths off. “i’m in your house.” “hm, couldn’t tell which weasley it was…” /drifts away

  • sitting with harry in potions and in flying– whatever classes they happen to share. meeting up to study. scarfing down their breakfasts at separate tables so they can go hang out in the empty classrooms before the day starts. hermione reads while they play exploding snap.
    • the trio signing up for all the same electives third year. this friendship being something they earn and work for; not just the one that looked easiest. (not to bash canon ron&harry, the bros to end all bros, but by putting this very obvious obstacle between them– it makes it that much clearer to the reader that this is a love worth fighting for, because they’re fighting for it).
    • ron being jealous that harry and hermione get to share this house, this home, these hours, while he’s stuck with malfoy and parkinson and goyle– because that would eat him up some days, some months, this insecure kid who’s been the last at everything all his life. this kid who always leaves and always comes back.

  • ron, who constantly compares himself to his brothers– not as smart, not as popular, not as good. one more nail in that coffin, here, yeah? he’s not a prefect, not a quidditch star, not a troublemaker– and even when he becomes those things, someone else has always gotten there first
    • well, i guess he got to this house first at least

  • ron still snaps at snape in potions, after hermione’s been ignored three times, “you know, sir, i think hermione might know the answer.” he still pulls the bars off harry’s window with a stolen, flying car. he still shows harry around the burrow shyly, not knowing what a wonder a warm home is. he still stands up in the shrieking shack as best as he can with a broken leg and tells a mass murderer that if he wants harry he’ll have to go through him first. 
    • ron weasley is a lot of things, but one of them is absolutely a true friend.

  • in their second year:
    • when everyone calls harry the heir, they eye ron at his side and sniff.
    • when hermione lays petrified in the medical ward, ron sits at her side and reads her homework assignments aloud and thinks my house this was my house
    • when ron hugs ginny’s damp, shaking frame after the chamber, ron says sorry and sorry and are you okay and i’m so sorry and ginny calls him an idiot.

  • the trio spends more time in the library with hermione, since ron can’t come to gryffindor tower to study, and homework remains a thing that has to happen. fred and george constantly try to sneak him into the tower anyway. 
    • “c'mon, ronnykins, you belong here, you deserve it, no one’s gonna fuss, it’s your BIRTHRIGHT,” and ron fusses and rolls his eyes at them
    • and then in fourth year in one of those periods where he’s not talking to harry and harry’s not talking to him– he just snaps at the twins
      • because it’s not, alright?
      • not his birthright, not his house, and maybe no one would fuss if he snuck in, maybe no one would care, and that makes it worse not better, because then he’s just that weasley who should’ve been gryffindor
      • and isn’t
    • (and harry overhears this caterwauling, feels his heart fall to his toes, and goes and awkwardly asks ron if he wants to go a few laps on his firebolt). 
    • (because, god, harry-the-chosen-one, harry-in-the-cupboard-under-the-stairs, harry-who’ll-save-us-all– he knows what it’s like to have should have beens on your shoulders, and he knows what it’s like to not be wanted).

  • ron cheers for gryffindor during quidditch matches in those first few years, and sits with hagrid and hermione and neville. harry’s seeker, and fred and george are beaters, and ginny becomes chaser eventually, and honestly screw the slytherin team. they have each and every one of them said disparaging things about ron’s mother.
    • harry and hermione badger ron into trying out for keeper fourth year; he and harry have been practicing on the quidditch pitch because its a non-library-shaped place to hang out where both of them are allowed. ron makes the slytherin roster, and malfoy grudgingly provides ron a team broom after the captain chews him out for a bit.
      • “he may be a weasley, but he’s our keeper, don’t you want to win, draco”
    • but the sort of things they spit in the locker room, the words the players hiss or snigger, the slurs that come easy to their tongues– ron would like to say that he considered just walking out of the cesspit, but instead he snipes and sasses and shouts and sometimes tries to spell slugs at the worst of them. 
      • it doesn’t do much, that one irritated voice of protest– except that it does. and he’s got a new (hand-me-down) wand, after the gilderoy fiasco, so the slugs even come out the right end.
    • fred gives him a black eye with a bludger one time (though ron does manage to block the quaffle) and molly sends a howler to gryffindor table with the morning post. (“RON DID YOU TATTLE”) (“IT WAS CLEARLY PERCY, FRED, SIT DOWN”)
      • (the weasleys often have family conversations across the great hall, with hufflepuffs and ravenclaws covering their ears long-sufferingly between them)

  • in the lake, it’s still ron hanging there in the water, still and bloated. it’s still harry’s heart that stutters in his chest, for all it’s just a game, just a game, just a game, right?

  • ron listens hard and tries to talk himself out of fist fights, all that next year in the slytherin common room as they read aloud rita skeeter articles.

  • when hermione calls dumbledore’s army to its first session in that pub, there are green scarves in that crowd– ron and one of the beaters who ron’s gotten to help glare to rest of the slytherin quidditch team into submission.

  • ron beats draco to being prefect (i think i remember it was dumbledore and not mcgonagall who seemed to award prefect status– snape doesn ’t get a say).
    • percy is SO PROUD, as usual, but so are fred and george. “did you see the little malfoy git? green with shame, my god.”

  • when harry has the dream about sirius, ron isn’t there to wake. but when draco’s pulled out of bed to be a professional bully– er, i mean inquisitorial squad member– ron follows at a careful distance and curses draco from behind. 
    • they ride thestrals over london. harry finds the prophecy and ron thinks about the sorts of things that get decided at your birth.  
    • sirius black was a son of slytherin who had a lion living in his chest that he couldn’t hide away. 
    • ron was meant to be gryffindor, and through a haze of injury and fear he watches sirius die just out of harry’s reach.

  • just imagine: ron with his temper and his sharp words and his fierce loyalty. ron who looks into the mirror of erised and sees house cups and prefect badges and ambitions earned– he could belong in slytherin. there is nothing wrong with wanting things, and he wants them so bad.

  • there are so many reasons to fight a war, and so many ways. harry and his sacrifices, his loving resignation. hermione’s good right hook and bottomless bag of supplies. luna, brilliant and a bit batty. lee jordan’s radio and mcgonagall’s burning patience and brittle, certain bones.

  • just imagine: when the last battle comes, there is a slytherin on the field who is not snape.

  • when draco and his parents walk away, in that last battle, ron–
    • who slept in the same dormitory as the boy for six years
    • who heard draco’s nightmares and saw him paling and desperate all sixth year
    • who is as pureblooded as lucius’s spoiled whelp
    • who remembers grimacing at the thought of squibs
    • who has known magic all his life
    • who spotted draco penning letters home to his mother every sunday and hiding them when the other boys could see–
    • ron sees them going.
      • he sounds no alarms. he says no farewells.
      • he turns back to his friends, and his fight, and lets them be.

  • just imagine: when harry kneels on the train platform and his second son asks him “but what if i get sorted slytherin, dad?” harry can say, “the bravest man i ever knew was in slytherin house. whatever you are, wherever you go, we’re going to be so proud of you." 
    • and they can both gaze over to where ron is squawking beside his daughter’s trolley of luggage because crookshanks (who will live to be forty eight million years old) has latched onto his shins with a violent fondness.
7

Dan and Phil x Harry Potter x Life is Strange Crossover

[Part 2 here]

A Concept: You play as Daniel Howell, a young half-blood wizard who mysteriously receives time-rewinding powers at the beginning of his first year at Hogwarts. He realizes his powers do not adhere to the same spatiotemporal constraints as time turners: they do not obey the Novikov Self-Consistency Principle, and can only rewind up to five minutes at a time.  Unbeknownst to Dan, his powers are finite - the rate of depletion is available only to you, the player, in a meter on the right of the screen. For the first half of his time at Hogwarts, you use Dan’s powers to remake decisions to make life easier for him and his Muggle-born best friend Phil. Then, in his fourth year, Harry Freakin’ Potter returns from the maze with a dead body and life for Dan gets really dark really quickly. You realize too late you should probably have conserved your powers for the war.

There are four fixed events in the game: Befriending Phil, Cedric’s death, Dumbledore’s death, and Dan’s powers running out sometime during the Battle of Hogwarts.

A special message from DONTNOD Entertainment

If you’re reading this, you’ve likely already heard or watched the news… we reached over 3 million unique paying players! It’s an incredible achievement and one we could not have reached without you, our fantastic community! You helped spread positive words about our game and have continually kept the world interested in what happens next.

We also revealed a key piece of information that many of you have been waiting some time for now - we can indeed confirm that the original Life is Strange team at DONTNOD are working on a brand new Life is Strange game. We can’t wait to tell you all about it when the time is right, but for now we are hard at work ensuring it is the very best game we can create. We’re really thankful for your patience thus far and ask for a bit more time. The new game will not be at E3 in June this year but we will be watching the show alongside you all and wish everyone good luck!

The suck button.

My band’s drummer, John, is also a sound guy; for several years before we hooked up musically, he had been doing sound for other bands I was in, as well as for touring acts I booked shows for. He’s very good at what he does, and has a pretty massive rig. Anyway, he’s the nicest guy in the world at band practice, at Burger King, or at a gig we’re playing, but when he’s running sound for other bands, he can be pretty crabby. Very little patience for bands who start late or end late. Even less patience for bands who take an encore when they’re the second band playing out of five. Very little patience for singers who ask for more vocals in the monitor while cupping the microphone ball in both hands (feedback, anyone?) In general, just an altogether grouchy sound man. For example, he ran sound once for this seven- or eight piece ska band. One of the trombone players said he needed two mics: one for his horn and one for his backup vocals. Normally at this venue (a 120-seater), John didn’t bother to mic horns at all. Rolling his eyes, John put up a Shure Beta 58 and some AKG condenser mic. “This Shure is for your vocals, and this AKG is for your horn, OK?” he said. “Don’t blow your horn into the vocal mic, because your horn is about 30db louder than your voice and I’m going to have everything mixed properly.” Horn player nods his head. During the second song of the set, apparently this trombonist was set to get a solo. Right before his solo starts, he grabs both mics and pushes them close together, so that the capsules are actually touching. He then blows this fortissimo opening note into BOTH mics. I was sitting at a table in back, by the sound board, at the time. John’s limiters caught most of it, and I STILL had ringing in my ears for two days. At the end of the song, John mutes both of the guy’s mics (and leaves them mute), and basically threatens to ream out the guy’s plumbing with his own horn if he ever pulls that shit again. John does this through his talkback mic, which is clearly audible over the monitors. The crowd bursts into laughter, and the horn player goes bright red in the face.

At any rate, for years I had heard John threaten bands with the “suck button.” Bands who were taking too long to set up, or whose members repeatedly refused to follow reasonable directions (please keep that vocal mic away from the monitors!), would be threatened. “Pull that shit again, and I’m gonna hit the suck button on you guys!” I took it to mean that he would intentionally make them sound bad, but he never followed through on the threat, so I took it as a vague general warning.

So anyway, a little while back he’s running sound on a four band show. The second band, a Matchbox 20/Train kind of band, has him running 20 minutes behind before they even play a note because their lead guitarist was late. Their allotted set time is 40 minutes, but their last song runs over and by the time it’s done, they’ve played for almost 45 minutes. John says quietly over the talkback mic, “Hey guys, you’re done.” The lead singer says loudly over the vocal mic “Sound man says we gotta get off the stage. We got one more song for you!” as they kick into another soupy jangle-rock tune. John shakes his head at me. Then, the most amazing thing happened. After their “encore,” this band kicks straight into ANOTHER song without announcing it, apparently in the hope that John wouldn’t notice it was a different song.

John leans over to me to be heard over the PA and asks, “Hey, wanna see the suck button?” “Sure,” I replied. I figured he was going to muck with the levels or just turn them off or something. Instead, he reaches to one of his racks and starts scrolling through patches on his trusty DigiTech unit. Sure enough, he gets to a patch titled SUCK BUTTON. He engages it, and all hell breaks loose onstage. The lead singer and the lead guitarist (who was singing backup), immediately start to sing WAY off key. They try to get back in tune, fail, trail off in mid-line, try again, and start glaring at each other. The guitarist is so distracted by this that he starts muffing the chord progression. If not for the drummer, I think the whole song would have derailed. For the entire four minute duration of the song, I was treated to this asshole band sounding like crap and getting madder and madder at each other. John explained the patch to me; basically it pitch shifts all tracks from the vocal submix up one step, BUT ONLY IN THE MONITORS. So the audience, out in front of the mains, was treated to the sound of two guys trying to get in tune, only to be utterly confused. If they got it sounding right in the monitors, they could tell that something was grossly wrong in the mains. And each of the singers thought it was the other guy who was singing out of tune. I just about died laughing.

anonymous asked:

Since bitty is (I think?) the first openly gay player in the NHL in the fics, what about other players hitting on him when they play the schooners, or even better, during the all star game when jack is right there?

The game so far has been nothing memorable, just another pre-season exhibition against Edmonton that neither team really want to give their all because why risk anything before the season even starts?

“Bittle,” Burig, a second line Oilers winger, flags Eric down at the end of the second period, with a look of grim determination that gives Eric the sense he’s about to be sucker-punched.

“Yeah?”

“You, uh,” Burig hesitates, gnawing on his mouthguard and twisting his stick in his hands while he comes up with whatever he wants to say. He huffs and looks around for any teammates that might be watching the exchange, finding the rest of his line distracted, he leans in close. “You doing anything after the game?”

Eric blinks. “What?” 

“Just,” Burig shrugs, face flushing pink, “wanted to see if you’d like to grab a drink or something.”

“Oh. Oh!” Someone from the bench yells his name and Eric is faced with a dilemma he knows he can’t resolve in the next 15 seconds. “Wait for me after the game, we can talk.”

Burig nods tightly, beet red, and skates back to his own bench.

Just another thing for Eric to think about while coach yells at him for missing an unnecessary pep talk.

____

Burig is waiting for Eric when he leaves the locker room, hair still damp and his suit slightly rumpled like he’d thrown it on in a rush, which makes Eric feel worse for some reason.

“Hey,” he perks up when he sees Eric, sliding his phone into his gear bag. “You wanted to talk?” He sounds so earnest it hurts and Eric motions to a meeting room just off the hallway.

“It’ll be a bit more private in here.”

Eric doesn’t waste time when the doors close, Burig isn’t the first player to approach him and he certainly won’t be the last.

“You’re very sweet, but I have a boyfriend.”

“Fuckin’ knew it,” Burig curses, shouldering his duffel bag. “No way someone as hot as you is single. Worth a shot, right?”

“Were you looking for a hook-up or?”

“No, not like that, I just kinda,” he hesitates like he’s afraid of saying too much.

“Safe space,” Eric waves his arms to indicate the empty room. “Be honest.”

“I’m tired of Grindr and puckbunnies and bar hookups, you know? I want something real.”

Eric immediately runs through a list in his mind of the few single players he’s met in similarly awkward situations. “You play in Vancouver next week, right?”

Burig’s eyes go wide and Eric holds up a warning finger. “Hold your horses. I may have a friend in a similar situation, but it’ll be on his terms if he wants to reach out. Give me your number, and I’ll pass it along if he wants to meet. Okay? No promises.”

_______

“You want to tell me why we’re watching Vancouver slaughter Edmonton when we could be doing literally anything else?” Jack bemoans from the couch, poking and prodding at Eric to distract him.

“I’m invested, alright? You plant seeds, you watch ‘em grow.”

The clock runs out on the second period and Eric keeps his eyes trained on Vancouver’s goalie, Crivier, who waves Burig over in a moment of calm. The two talk, barely visible over the shoulder of a commentator, but moments later Burig skates away with a very prominent smile on face. 

“And boom goes the dynamite,” Eric whispers, grabbing the remote to switch over to the new season of House of Cards.

“You playing matchmaker again, Bits?” Jack laughs, pressing himself against Eric’s side and nuzzling at his neck.

“You know how much competition you’d have if I didn’t set up all the guys that hit on me with each other?” Eric breathes, sliding his fingers through Jack’s hair. “I could have a harem.”

Jack groans and squeezes Eric tightly. “I’ll fight everyone,” he murmurs, “even the guys I like.” 

The night starts with a big, spicy Philly cheese steak. It’s about 6pm. I’ve been wanting to try the cheese steak from this corny, 50’s retro place for a long time. I gobble down the big greasy bowl of meat, hot sauce, and cheese, then head to the coffee shop for my weekly draw group. A little after I get home, about 10pm, a stomach ache comes on. “Damn, guess spicy foods are out.” I’ve been getting stomach aches every time I have spicy Thai or hot wings. I google search about spice pain- possible stomach ulcer? “I guess I have been stressed lately, but no more than usual I don’t think…” File under “Will investigate further later.“ According to the comments on this health website, a glass of milk will help. Gulp one down, go to bed.

Wrestle to sleep for about an hour. Realize the ache is just over the required pain threshold to keep you from sleeping. Do some work on my comic, more tired, but stomach worse. Will play batman until I fall asleep. I feel like I’m just running in circles… How many times have I failed this mission? Batman, batman, stomach now hurts too bad to enjoy an active task like video games. Deliriously tired. Would be great to sleep through the rest of this abdominal temper tantrum. Try the old “hot shower will make you sleep” trick. Take some Pepto-Bismol, and some generic acetaminophen. Out of the shower, hurts to walk around now, and to lie down. Guess I’ll have to wait it out with my eyes open. Call and leave my Doc a message, maybe will get a spot in there tomorrow. Need to get that ulcer discovered… Time to enjoy a passive task like watching TV. Breaking Bad feels like the right mixture of funny and painful, just like me and my burning spice belly. Damn, I can’t even enjoy that part where during Hank’s interrogation of that meth head, Wendy, she accuses Hank of trying to buy sexual services from her on behalf of an underage “football player” (a misunderstanding involving Walter Jr. from a few episodes before). Oh hell. Time to look up what time emergency medical clinics open. Guess I’ll have to pay out of pocket since I can’t wait for my Doc tomorrow.  It’s about 4am now. Earliest clinic opens at 8. Now hungry again, but can’t eat what with all the pain. One hour down. Man, this is really starting to hurt. Can I really wait 3 more hours? Sitting is starting to hurt as much as lying and standing. And I’m still not enjoying TV. Okay, I’ve come to a decision…. 

“Hey, Kayla, my stomach still hurts, I’m thinking about driving to the ER, do you wanna come?” “Oh! Ya, sure. What time is it?” “It’s 5:30”. I  call the hospital “Hey, I’ve had a pretty bad stomach ache all night, I’m thinking of coming by.” Operator: *long pause* “Haha, well, okay! We’re open all night, so just come on in.” 

Driving with a stomach ache is not so bad, because you’re already hunched over. Wish Kayla could drive, but she doesn’t really know how, probably would have a panic attack and would definitely crash. Interesting that they have ER parking, I wonder how many ER patients drive themselves here… All bodily positions hurt my insides now, signing in to this place sucks. Give Kayla half the paperwork to fill out, glad she’s here, or this would be really boring. Man, they sure take a long time for someone trying to get into an empty emergency room… Signing in with a nurse, she ask me my height and I say “ ‘5’’8”, but I notice she puts down “ ‘5’’7”… They want to look at my pee, they always want to see my pee. I pee, no blood, so whatever that tells them means I’m getting an ultrasound first. Then a young nurse named Ken, a cool Asian dude with screws through both ears, squirts so much morphine into my IV that I lean back and audibly say “oh my god.” I feel it ripple like a shock wave from my arm down to the ends of my body. My belly is feeling alright now. 

The ultrasound technician tells me that babies are the least common thing she uses ultrasounds for. My joke has fallen flat. Back in the room, the doctor and his manila folder tell me “Good news! No gallstones, there are kidney stones inside your kidneys, but since they are inside, you shouldn’t be feeling the pain from those.” “Wait, does that mean I have to pee those stones out at some poin–” It is not discussed again. Seeing that neither organ has the appropriate stones, Doc would “rather not expose me to more radiation than necessary” and is working on discharging me. But, “I won’t leave here without a diagnosis.” 

In I go to the CT scan tube. That hot squish of contrast dye spreading through my veins. “Okay, we’re moving you into a room upstairs.” Says a hippy technician. Upstairs in my sweet and swanky single with couch, a person I’m pretty sure is just a businessman disguised in medical scrubs types on a computer. He takes down my answers to what seem like pre-surgery questions. “Do you have anybody specific on file in the event you are medically unable to yield consent  for yourself?” This, combined fact that they won’t feed me, makes me wonder what it is I’m going into surgery for. I saw this same thing about a year and a half ago with the whole brain debacle, but that’s a story for another time. Several medical people dip in, sprinkle breadcrumbs of information; it’s like a game show challenge that combines a scavenger hunt with a jigsaw puzzle. You have to gather the pieces of information from their hiding places, then assemble them in the correct order to reveal an answer. A tech comes in and spoils the game, “You seem to have a lot of questions, so I just want to make sure, you know you have appendicitis right? We’re about to take it out.” “Thank god,” I think. “It’s not the spicy foods. Spicy foods are still in.” Downstairs, in pre-op, I complain to my plain-clothes surgeon about how analog tests like pressing on my stomach are remarkably inaccurate, since a doctor’s subjective interpretation of my poor description of say, “the pain is slightly higher” can rule out appendicitis, the same appendicitis that a machine might spot an hour later. I tell him that I almost got sent home. My surgeon tells me he’s been doing analogue tests for 30 years, and not to worry about it. I start to tell him how “my deadpan reaction to pain also causes a lot of people to misdiagnose me, that a lot of people laugh when I describe how I’m in pai–”, but he walks away in the middle to get dressed for surgery. The operating room has big TVs and lights, it looks like a set, and I consider the possibility of fake hospitals as the anesthesia takes the wheel.

In the recovery area, the nurse tells me how big, inflamed appendixes can be agitated by spicy foods, foods high in fat, and dense foods like heavy cheese. I see an image of a spotlit cheese steak appear in a black void. Nurse feeds me ice chips and tells me she craves ice chips when she’s dehydrated. I suggest that she only craves ice chips because she works in a hospital, that ice chips are too unsatisfying a thing to crave at random, and that most people would just crave water. She agrees. Back upstairs in my room, it is now 8pm, and it has been 26 hours since I’ve eaten. I’ve been hydrated only through IV’s. The driest mouth and the clearest pee. Because the lingering anesthetic can cause nausea and vomiting, they will only give me jello. I go nuts on the jello. They continue to give me every jello I ask for, one at a time, like a test. Way past where I though the cutoff point would be, the nurse tells me “That’s it! There’s no more jello! You ate all the jello on this floor.” You’re damn right I did, you’re damn right….

You know what fire elementals are made of, right?

Context, this was my first time playing pathfinder, I was a kitsune sorcerer, emphasis on sorcerer. Our party came across a Pyromancer who had summoned a fuckton of fire elementals.

Me(ooc): can I use my bite attack on the fire elemental.

DM: yes…but I really wouldn’t recommend it

I then proceeded to run ahead of the party, passing the tank of the group, and bit the closest elemental. I then proceeded to catch on fire for 2 turns, got surrounded by a bunch of the elementals, leaving me unable to be rescued, with our tank setting himself on fire trying to save me and I almost died.

DM(after the tank caught fire): You have the create water spell, why would you choose to bite it!?

Me(ooc): I have an Int of 6

DM: in game or out of game?

Me(ooc): yes

I haven’t posted much art recently so here’s my DnD character, Deina Ilyndrathyl, to make up for the art drought on my blog :) She’s a half elf ranger with weirdly creative ways of getting herself out of trouble. She also has a bear named Frederick but I’ll probably post her when I complete the character art for our party. *if I ever find the time too…*

Why People Fall In Love

Muses: Jeon Jungkook.
Words: 4.7k words of cringe worthy fluff.
Type: fwb!au + fake dating!au
Note: This is another my ‘to be posted’ scenarios, posted.  Yay. :D

+ An agreement to become Jungkook’s fake girlfriend and a trip back to his hometown lets you see more of the Jeon Jungkook who you think is only made of Friday hookups and boyish charms.

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin


“So let me get this straight, your brother’s bringing his girlfriend home for dinner this weekend and you ‘sorta’ blurted out that you have a girlfriend too just because you want to prove that he’s wrong about you not being able to keep a girl?”

Sheepishly, Jungkook smiles and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorta.”

At his nonchalance, you lightly smack his chest; it’s not like he’s going to feel anything if you straight out punch him anyway. “He’s totally right!”

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hugealienpie  asked:

I see prompts are open yay! Please tell me all about Ford finding out about Bitty and Jack.

Ooh, this is interesting, because I don’t feel like it’d be an announcement, but just something Ford finds out when Jack visits or the like. I mean, it could go the other way, like Lardo could be, “heads up, Bitty’s dating our ex-captain” and Ford would be like, “okay? why are you telling me?” (She’s a theatre background, what is a Bad Bob to her?) I think she’d be pretty chill with it, and coming from theatre, like being gay is not an issue, esp in college (and even at the professional level) and esp if we go with the oft reblogged “Ford is gay” headcanon.

But here is a small fic that is only half based on the above…

Ford double checks the dozens of pages Lardo has given her for the upcoming roadie. She thought dealing with dressing room allocation was hard (and it is, one hundred percent) but figuring out room allocations is somehow worse, particularly when she’s new, and hockey players are more superstitious than the girl who played Johanna in Sweeney.

“So, who was it I’m meant to pair Oliver with?” Ford asks, grabbing for the red pen she’d stuck into her bun earlier. She comes out with a green one. It’ll do.

“Wicks. But really, he’d be fine with any of the guys in his year.”

Ford makes a note on one of the pages. “Okay, then I think I’m–Oh, shit.”

“What is it?” Lardo looks up from her sketchbook.

Ford double checks through all her sheets before she says anything. She’s not worrying, because there’s no time for that, she’s just already hating the amount of extra work she’ll need to do to fix things.

“I’ve left Eric, um, Bitty,” Ford corrects herself, still getting used to hockey nicknames, “off the rooming list.”

“Oh, that. Nah, you’re good.” Lardo goes back to her drawing. “He stays with his boyfriend when we’re playing up there.”

“Boyfriend?” Ford double-checks.

“Yeah. He’s in Providence. And he’ll drive Bitty to the games and practices and stuff. Should’ve emailed you that. My bad.”

“That’s fine.” Ford grabs another pen from her hair, forgetting she already has one in front of her. It’s red this time. “Just thought I was going to have to redo an entire afternoon’s worth of work.”

“Right,” Lardo says. “I can see why the minor freak out.”

“Excuse you, I did not freak out.” It’s half a lie. Ford has so many notes on these sheets, but she’s not freaking out, she’s managing. It’s all part of it.

Lardo looks up and smiles at her. “Knew you’d be fine at this.”

Ford takes the compliment with a gracious nod, and goes back to ticking off the rooming list against the team names. All accept Eric.

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Context: After a series of really bad rolls for every possible category I could use, my DM actually trying help me out as a first-time player, I ended up thinking a warg was a dog

Me: I roll to pet the puppy
Wizard: Don’t pet th-
DM: Are you sure? Like, I won’t hold it against you if you don’t pe-
Me: I ROLL TO PET THE PUPPY. (I roll an 18)
Cleric: So does this mean he pets the warg and is safe, or…?
DM: It lets you pet it, and it’s leg does that little thing when you pet at the right spot. But then you touch the wrong spot, and it makes a sounded alerting two other… puppies. Roll initiative.
DM, later: Take an inspiration for petting the enemy
Wizard: WE ALMOST DIED

Tantalizing

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Tantalizing: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07
Ship: Jungkook | Reader
Description: Back in high school, you were nothing more than a nerd Jungkook wanted to deflower, to get a good fuck from. When he sees you at the club, though, things have changed drastically, and his dominance starts to teeter on the edge.
Warning: Cumplay, Degrading Names, Angst, Intercourse, Oral, Orgasm Denial, Thigh Riding
Word Count: 5,965

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i could literally write fucking essays on how fucking ahead of its time petz was in like every way possible like it had 3d graphics in 1995 which isnt a SUPER big deal on its own but what is really fucking cool is that it had a 3d graphics engine like nothing else ever seen before or ever seen since where the characters were made up of spheres connected by vector lines instead of polygons. but look at them and you can barely tell.

these characters were INCREDIBLY well-animated too. not only fluid, but amazingly lifelike in their visual behavior. you seriously forget it’s just cycling through a bunch of animation loops because characters are able to seamlessly transition from one animation to another at ANY frame. most pc games TODAY still struggle to get this right.


the AI is fantastic too. pets can be trained to perform tricks, common in virtual pet games, but can also be conditioned through positive or negative reinforcement and completely transform the way they behave. not only does each breed have its own temperament, but each individual pet has a unique personality and its own behavioral tendencies. something i see a LOT of virtual pet games neglect is fleshing out how virtual pets interact with each other and not just how they interact with the player. all pets react differently to each other in petz; some hit it off right away and some will growl and hiss at each other, but their relationships with each other change over time as they spend more time together. they can even breed (within their own species, of course, not cat-on-dog action) and have offspring and the genetics system is more in-depth than most games today. check out cuteosphere’s petz liveblogging to see just how cool the genetics are in these games. (oh yeah, and the modding community for this game was HUGE back in the web 1.0 days just in case all those critters that are definitely not dogs or cats confuse you)

i say “i could write essays”  but essays HAVE been written about these games because they were so fucking revolutionary

also one of the lead developers for petz went on to make facade lol so at least that fantastic work on AI went SOMEWHERE after this series bit the dust

Tater and Bitty become fast friends and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted

Tater is like an overprotective St. Bernard: large, affectionate, and unable to gauge personal space. Jack’s continually surprised and pleased when Tater manhandles Bitty like a favorite younger brother. They’ve struck up this cheerful, affectionate friendship. Tater watches out for Bitty, but he also genuinely likes him and food. Bitty’s adopted Tater into their friend circle, which Tater needed. Bitty was the only one who’d noticed what an outsider Tater is.

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10 Things I Loved About Mass Effect:Andromeda

Warning: Spoilers! And I wrote this on the spur, so there might be grammatical errors.

1.      I enjoyed the story. Yeah, people will say it recycles from the trilogy, but come on, people. Why are you surprised? Bioware recycles their plotlines all the time. It’s pretty much the same in all of their games. A protagonist gains special abilities and leads a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits team to defeat a big threat. And I’m not bothered by that. Sometimes familiarity in your franchise is good, just as long as you do new things to the formula, and I think they do.

What interested me the most was the theme of starting over. A lot of people in the Andromeda Initiative were former criminals or outcasts. The reason they joined was to start a new life, and it’s explored in the main questlines, the loyalty quests, and numerous side quests. I was worried about the game talking about colonization since humans are looking for a new home, but I was pleasantly surprised that the game made it clear that Andromeda is the angara’s home first, and humans and other Milky Way species will have to work with them. Thank god! No Mightey Whitey trope this time!

2.      Ryder as the player character. I honestly never thought I would love Ryder as much as I did when I played the game. Sure, no one will ever replace Commander Shepard, but Ryder isn’t meant to replace the Commander, rather show a different perspective in a new story. Commander Shepard is the hero we want to be while Ryder is more of a relatable character. Ryder has to learn through the entire game how to be a leader while going through the obstacles of their inexperience and youth so people will take them seriously. And it was compelling, uplifting, and at times amusing to see them become a hero in their own right and step out of their father’s shadow.

Also Sara and Scott felt like their own person. In the original trilogy, the player character is pretty much the same no matter what gender. But sometimes the dialogue can be different depending on if you play a male Ryder or a female Ryder. That’s because they are two different people who have had their own experiences and personalities. That really adds to the replay value!

3.      Female aliens everywhere! One of my major issues with the original trilogy was the lack of female Turians, krogans, and salarians. Sure we had asari an all-female race, and female quarians, but it felt weird that we met so many aliens with very few ladies. Not only do we get a female Turian squadmate, we also get plenty of lady alien NPCs gathered everywhere for random quests. We also have Kesh who works at the Nexus. And we get to see female salarians! And they kind of look the same as male salarians except with different voices. Thank god! It would’ve been horrifying to see salarians with boobs. Uh! And I’m pretty sure there were just as many female angara NPCs as there were males.

4.      The romances. Especially the queer ones. One of the things I love about Bioware games are the romance paths. Bonus points if there is a queer option. And as of patch 1.08, this game has the most number of queer romances in any Bioware game. I think my two favorite romance paths are with Sara and Vetra and Jaal and Scott. While representation for the LGBT community is improving in media, there’s no denying we still have a long way to go. And after again the crap year 2016 where we had a huge number of queer women characters die in tv shows, it was so wonderful to have a healthy and happy relationship between two women when I first played the game. And even if it wasn’t added until the patch, the romance between Jaal and Scott is absolutely sweet since we see two men show a lot of love and affection for each other which is rare to see in media.

5.      The Tempest Family. I adore every single character on the Tempest, and they really did feel like a family once you played further into the game. I am a sucker for found families, and to see these people who are trying to find a home ending up finding a home with each other just gives me so many feels!

Since there’s not really a huge crew in the ship like in the original trilogy when Shepard had an army of humans. In Andromeda, we have six squad mates, four additional crew members, and Ryder. And I think it made the family more intimate. It’s like our own little family lives on the Tempest.

Also I liked how there were more quests spread out throughout the game with the squad which I think was lacking in Inquisition. Plus. Movie Night is the best scene ever!

6.      In my opinion, the side quests were fun. I think this was one thing they improved from Inquisition. Inquisition side quests just felt like a bunch of fetch quests that got kind of boring pretty quick, and didn’t really add to the overall story. Some highlights from Andromeda were: Kadara, the angara reincarnation questline, the Turian jailed for murder, the anti-AI group, meeting Zaeed’s son, and those kids sending out a distress signal for a new light for their weed plant. HAHA!

They were compelling in their own right and included cut scenes instead of the Inquisitor going to some location like in Skyrim to do a thing come back to the quest giver saying, “I did the thing.” “Ok, good.”

7.      Unlike in Inquisition, there’s actual payoff for some of the quests you do. I don’t mean to be mean to Inquisition, I still love the game, but remember when we were promised that you had to build your forces up in order to defend against the main threat. Yeah, you built forces to get influence points to gain perks, and that’s it.

In Andromeda, while, yes. It’s not the same level as Mass Effect 2. When you actually complete quests and help out leaders, you can get different results during the final battle. Like, there’s a chance Captain Dunn may not survive.

Also, when you get 100% viability on all the planets, you get a special surprise on Habitat 7- being told that it will one day be habitable because of our efforts. Sure it was a side quest, but it just felt so rewarding!

8.      The climax was actually fulfilling and exciting. Again, something else Inquisition was lacking in. Seriously, when I first played Andromeda, I legit gasped when the archon was taking control of SAM node. The villain was actually living up to his threatening nature!

Just when we think we got everything under control, and are about to find Meridian, the Archon fucks shit up, and our sibling has to step up to save the day. Then we have to gather people we helped out and prepare for a final battle, and Ryder can finally prove themselves as a true Pathfinder and kick the Archon’s ass once and for all. People are saying the ending was as disappointing as ME3’s? Pfft…What are you even talking about?

9.      The angara. Bioware never fails to make me love an entire fictional species. Yeah, it feels a bit off that they pretty much have the same faces and the same 3 voice actors, but I really do love their culture. And I appreciate that they were clearly coded as POC while Andromeda didn’t go through with the whole Mighty Whitey Trope. The game wants you to respect their culture and to respect their home.

I love the angaran people are open about their feelings, I love how their religion believes in reincarnation, I love how we see angaran scientists, soldiers, merchants, mercenaries, and civilians. Also Aya and Hivraal are absolutely gorgeous!

And when Jaal finds out his people were created by the Kett, I was worried it was going to go the Dalish elves route, but Jaal points out that it doesn’t change anything about the angara. They are still their own people. And that was such an uplifting message.

10.  The overall light-hearted tone. I wrote a small post that got a good number of notes. (Probably the biggest number I’ve ever gotten), so to quote: “There was always this sense of hope and optimism about finding a new home. ‘Yeah, things may have gone totally wrong, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them better’ was the overall message I got.

And really, with so many bad things happening in the world right now and too much of our entertainment supposedly being our escapism being dark for the sake of dark, this was something I think a lot of us needed.”

Mass Effect 3 had its light-hearted moments, and I love it, but man, that game was emotional draining.

It’s a bit discouraging to love something so much and get recommended videos on youtube pointing out the same flaws of that certain game, and why they thought it was a huge disappointment. Do I agree with some of their criticisms? Sure. Does the history behind the production explain the flaws? Oh absolutely.

           But people seem to forget that the original Mass Effect trilogy wasn’t without its flaws. I mean, sure everyone can agree on the Mass Effect 3 ending, but I could make a list of all the issues I have with the other Bioware games including Dragon Age: Inquisition (which despite winning Game of the Year, kind of suffers the same problems Andromeda had).

           So yeah, after the crap year of 2016, I was so excited to get a newly-released game that made me happy. And still makes me happy, and makes me in the mood to play another Ryder.

Context: Me and a group of my friends used to play a really homebrewed tabletop campaign, wherein we had a number of strange combinations.  I was playing a Dwarf Cleric of Sarenrae and had been trying to convert a lot of people and failing each time, and my friend was playing a cluckromancer subclass of Sorcerer

Sorcerer (to DM): hey so I can just pull a chicken out of anything

DM: yeah that’s right.

Sorcerer: I pull a chicken out of the Dwarf’s beard *successful roll*

Me: ….I roll to convert the chicken

Everyone: what

Me: I.  Roll.  To convert.  The chicken.

DM: fine

Nat 20

Me: I shall name her Bless’d.  She is the first of my flock.

anonymous asked:

What's your take on the whole Mass Effect Andromeda animation debacle?

I’m back, I’m jet lagged, and people are being stupid on the internet. Whee.

Off the top of my head, here are a few thoughts on the matter:

#1. It is never ever EVER ok to harass somebody personally

This whole thing about a bunch of people harassing that former EA employee is horrible and should never have happened. It is never ok to go after somebody personally for what they may or may not have done in a professional capacity. There is no justification for it. Ever. If there’s a problem with the product, everybody shoulders the blame - that includes the publisher, dev team, marketing team, everybody. Even if there was one person who worked on one feature completely solo, that person still had a boss, who had a boss, who had a boss. There are so many people involved and so many moving parts that you really can’t blame any one person except the executive producer in charge of the entire project. The person in question is most assuredly not that executive producer.

#2. People comparing ME:A to the Witcher 3 are oversimplifying

There’s a meme floating around about how the Witcher 3 was created by a couple of Slavs as if it was done by a couple of dudes in a garage somewhere, compared to ME:A, which had a huge team from EA. That’s incredibly shortsighted and utterly ridiculous. The Witcher 3 cost over $80 million to develop, which is probably a bigger budget than ME:A had. CDPR had an internal team of 240 full-time professional devs and another 1200+ contractors working on it. The Witcher 3 is “indie” in the way that Star Citizen is “indie” - they didn’t work with a separate billion-dollar publisher because they had enough money to fund the project already. 

#3. From what I’ve seen, Mass Effect Andromeda has animation issues in general

From the cursory footage I’ve seen (I haven’t played the game yet since I’ve been out of the country), it looks like there’s a bunch of problems, most of which aren’t related to the facial animations at all. The characters have that weird slightly hunched-over broad-elbowed walk similar to how they walked in Dragon Age: Inquisition, and there’s something about how the elbows don’t quite sit right to me while the characters are idling. I also spotted a character in a T-pose in one clip which was a rather clear bug. The facial animation probably stands out most because players spend a lot of time in cinematic conversations, and that features the faces quite prominently. 

#4. Bioware is certainly aware of the issues

From what I’ve heard, there were team members who raised the warning flags internally as well, but the decision was ultimately above their pay grades. It’s really hard to say why they decided what they did without knowing the full context, and that isn’t likely to happen. The scope of the new Mass Effect game is different than before - this is the first game of the series on Frostbite, with a new lead studio helming development (Bioware Montreal), and with new team leadership (after the departure of Casey Hudson, Mass Effect’s former executive producer). There’s a lot of moving parts where things could have broken down during development, and we’ll likely never know. They’ll never share that information publicly… nor should they. Bioware the studio shoulders the blame for it, just like Bioware the studio owns any praise they get. 

Animation issues are often some of the hardest and most expensive problems to fix. Building animation rigs (skeletons) takes a lot of resources. Utilizing those rigs to build animations takes a lot of resources, even when you’re using motion capture data. Building animation systems to blend, layer and play those animations under the correct circumstances take a lot of time. Animation is one of the most expensive types of content to create - that’s why so many games reuse so much of their animation data. That said, Bioware also developed and released the extended ending to the last Mass Effect game for free in response to the fan backlash about the ending, so who knows? 


Got a burning question you want answered?

Band instruments ranked by how effective they'd be in a fight
  • Clarinet: hold it like a sword, easy. Nice and heavy but not too heavy to swing with one hand. Downside- weird bell shape at the end might get in the way of the wrist. 8/10
  • Trumpet: clunky. Could be used to deafen or swipe but only truly effective in close-combat. Seasoned band students will be completely unaffected by the noise. 4/10
  • Saxophone: neck straps really hinder movement. If they're not there, the instrument could be effectively used as a bludgeon, bit awkward handling though. A flawless performance of Careless Whisper could confuse or impress opponent enough for you to run away. 5/10
  • Bassoon: same good points as a clarinet, have to be stronger to swing it though. weird stabby mouthpiece is a blessing and a curse- great if it pokes the opponent, really not great if it pokes you. 8/10
  • French horn: you're too rare. You can't be spared. Use your abnormally circular instrument as a shield for your retreat and let someone else fight for you. N/A
  • Tuba: battering ram. Need I say more. Downside- really heavy, tuba players are also not used to doing much work since their parts are literally the easiest shit ever. It's more an issue with the fighter than the weapon. 3/10 to 7/10, depending on how angry you got reading that
  • Trombone: you'd think these would be great stabbing machines, and you'd be correct. Catch someone in the temple with this bitch? They're fucking dead. 8/10
  • Flute: excellent sword. Nothing's in the way. You have probably seen several flute players already playfighting like this. They are like baby lions. They are preparing for the time to fight for real. Their intense hatred of playing their instrument only worsens with age. If you irritate them or give them enough ridiculous runs to play they stop giving a fuck about dents. Incredibly dangerous. 9/10
  • Piccolo: kind of like a flute but wimpy. Too short to be effective in a fight but could probably blow your eardrums out at the right pitch. 3/10
  • Percussion: trickster gods. Have you seen the way they treat their instruments? They don't give a shit. Filled with arrogance and max-level dexterity. Every single one of them is a chaotic-something. They'll throw anything. They'll throw a mallet. They'll throw a cymbal. They'll throw the drum set. They'll throw each other. You'll never touch them. You'll have a trumpet mute shoved down your throat before you get close. Those don't even belong to them. 10/10