this is the only way i will listen to taylor swift

Sick of Losing You

Plot: Harry and Y/N lost each other when he found someone else.

Warnings: None aside that it kinda broke my heart.

Playlist to the one shot: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2S-tehb1XqDqkmE4xnz7-SciJy61soVf

Thanks to @interfectorems for being such a good friend, supporter and for requesting this. 
Songs that are mentioned but not on the playlist are “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift & “If You don’t Know” by 5Sos.

Pic of this beauty isn’t mine.

I watched from a far how he held on to her hand, his fingers grasping and squeezing hers gently while his eyes never left her pretty face. He watched her speak with such an intensity in his green eyes, as if he literally saw nothing other than her. His girlfriend. Not me.
I took a deep breath, swallowed the thick lump building in my throat and turned away from the sight.
Exactly three weeks ago, Harry and I had shared a kiss. Our first kiss, which had been exactly how I’d secretly always wished for it to be. Of course it had been. Every time you get to kiss the person you love is special and like fireworks painting colors into the sky.

He’d been talking and listening to me all night, similar to how he now was with her and had at some point reached out to hold my hand, just like he was holding hers in this moment.
When the time felt right, he’d leant in and had captured my lips with his. Needless to say, Harry was a phenomenal kisser. He knew when to press further, when to use how much tongue and was very attentive to how my body responded to his. Whenever I thought about it now, my cheeks tingled with the memory of his hands cupping them gently as he cradled my face to keep me close. He’d been so soft, so perfect. Harry had touched me with a tenderness, I thought it’d break my heart. I remembered wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling like they belonged there, like I was meant to hold him close.
Only that I wasn’t. The girl he was with now only proved how insignificant I was.

I couldn’t help peaking and looking over at him again. Harry’s lips. I knew exactly how they felt when pressed against my own, knew their taste and shape. Their warmth. Harry’s touch was impossible to forget.
I watched him kiss his girlfriend with a mesmerized stare, before moving away and into the kitchen, leaving the small gathering of our friends with a murmured excuse that I needed to get a refill of my drink, when in reality I couldn’t bear seeing the man I loved sharing affectionate kisses with someone else.
But not even the kitchen was a safe area for me. t had been this exact kitchen, the one in Harry’s house, where he’d pulled me aside and told me about her for the first time.

“It’s difficult” I think he said. “It’s my fault that this situation has become so messy.”

Was it silly that I could actually still remember every word he spoke to me? That I’d engraved every pause, every take in of breath he made, deeply into my head?

“Listen, Y/N… You’re important to me. I care about you. Need you, it’s just… There is someone. Someone who could be a chance for a relationship and I really want to give this a go. Give her a go, I mean. You can understand that, right?”

At first it’d felt like none of it was real. Because how could he be serious?
Harry. My best friend, Harry.
Only three days after our magical first kiss, three days full of us talking and flirting and texting constantly, he was telling me that he wanted someone else. Her name was Ira. And though he was seemingly behaving the same way with her he had been with me, we weren’t the same. In fact, she was everything I wasn’t. So when he told me he wanted her and not me, that he was picking her over of me, how come I’d been surprised?

I would never be his first choice, not when there were thousands of others he could choose from. And it was time for my brain to learn to not interpret every kind gesture, time to learn to stop overthinking every word. It was time for my head to accept, that there was no way Harry Styles could possibly want me.

So… I had been understanding. Kind even.
I’d lied and told him that yes, I agreed that our kiss had been a mistake. We shouldn’t have done any of that and instead thought of our friendship first, rather than our impulses. I’d kept a smile on my face throughout the entire talk and even finished the short chat by wishing him good luck with her. Another lie.

My fingers shook and so I set the empty glass of my drink down quickly, worried for a moment that I might otherwise spill the last few drops. I didn’t think much when I reached for the bottle of vodka on the counter. There was no getting through this night if I didn’t have something proper to drink. If only I remembered the recipe….

“Need help?”

My shoulders tensed. It couldn’t be him. Please… anyone, literally anyone, but him.

However when I turned around, Harry was there. He stood tall and beautiful, his short hair soft and wavy. Harry’s compelling eyes held my gaze with such a tender rawness in them, my knees weakened. All my body burned for was to wrap my arms around his shoulders and have him embrace me, have him tell me that everything would be okay again. I felt like I needed it, but knew that this was a wish I would be denied. Harry must have felt it, too. It was in the air around us. It had changed and… buzzed. As if being in each other’s presence made the world halt still for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Harry chuckled lowly when I didn’t say anything. How could he smile like everything was alright?

And what was it he was apologizing for? Abandoning our friendship? Ruining any hope I’d had to find a partner in him? Shattering my heart? Hardly.

“For scaring you,” Harry elaborated, a sudden hint of guilt in his eyes, almost as if he’d read my thoughts.

“It’s fine, Harry,” I muttered, bearing a false smile, “All good.”

It was hard to look at him. Especially his eyes. They burned a whole into my chest whenever my own orbs found them. They reminded me of the Harry he once was, the one I could always come to and rely on.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, his head nodding towards the bottle of vodka. His forehead furrowed in a worried expression and I quickly set the container back down.

“I wanted to make myself a drink, but the recipe slipped my mind. I’m not as much of an alcoholic as it must look like.”

“Good to know,” Harry chuckled, then, visibly thinking about it first, took a step forward. “I remember what you like in your favorite drink. Could make you one.”

From how close he was standing, it was easy to notice every detail of his skin. Every curve of his lips, every hair of his barely-there beard. My stomach turned.

“That’d be nice.”

Harry smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

We avoided any touching. I was leant against the counter, he stood with a safe distance between us and only came closer when he needed a different ingredient that happened to be near me. It was awkward and… weird. It didn’t feel like ‘us’. The friends we’d been once seemed to be two completely different people. I knew him and felt he was familiar, but there was a emotional distance between us I knew neither of us could overcome. And still, I was with him and even if we behaved like strangers, being with Harry was nice.

“I think that’s it,” Harry said, breaking the silence. His eyes were set on the pink-orange liquid in my glass, then they drifted to my face. A proud smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

“You 'think’?” I challenged shyly.

I took the glass from him (cautious not to touch his fingers) and took a sip. It tasted great.

“M'not big of a show off,” Harry grinned, “S'it good?”

I nodded and stirred the colored liquid once more. “Thanks, Harry.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” His voice was soft and his gaze shy.

The air around us shifted once more. My eyes teared up. What had happened to us? Harry and I… we used to be the kind of friends who didn’t stopped talking to each other for hours. At first, we’d be loud. We’d laugh and giggle so much eventually both of our tummies hurt. That was when we’d change the subject and speak more quietly, until several hours later our conversations drifted to topics only we were allowed to hear. Then we’d be whispering and sitting closer together, always an eager sparkle in the other’s eyes as we both listened with interest about what was being said.

I quickly turned away and pretended to yawn. My eyes blinked rapidly and I willed them not to cry in front of him. Not because of embarrassment, but because I couldn’t do that to him. I’d given him my okay. I had no right to be mad at him for having found someone else. Harry remained standing close and with his hands in the front pockets of his black jeans.

“I think I should go,” I muttered.

I held my head low and took a deep breath before looking at him briefly. Harry’s eyes held concern and his fingers twitched, as if he longed to reach out for me.

“Y/N, love,” he began lowly, “Do you think we could talk for a bit? S'been a while since I got to see you. Hear your voice. I missed you.”

This time when my eyes met his green orbs, I didn’t look away, even though I could feel the tears forming and coming closer to spilling over. Harry’s whole expression changed. His cheeks paled and his forehead furrowed deeper.

“I miss you, too, Harry,” I admitted, my weak voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” he mumbled, shaking his head slowly, sorrow deeply set in his eyes. His feet stepped closer and his warm hands touched my flushed cheeks before I even had the chance to back away from him. The unexpected closeness caught me off guard and had more tears coming, this time because of how much I hated how uncommon this sort of care from him had become.

Harry embraced me. His head buried itself into my neck and both arms wrapped themselves around my waist so he could lift me up from my feet. “Please no, Y/N, Sweetheart. Don’t cry.”

I couldn’t help it. My heart, the final bit that had been whole still, broke in his caring hands and I was overcome and pulled under a wave of grief. That was what I was doing. I was grieving our friendship and the lost hope I’d had for a relationship with him. And he allowed it. He let me cry against his collarbones without any complaint and instead began to hum quietly, knowing how much his voice always soothed me. Pain shot through my chest. He probably did the same when she was upset.

“I can’t-” I cried, but got cut off by my lungs that burned with need for air.

Harry hushed me, his hold tightening, “Don’t, Y/N. It’s going to be alright.”

I shook my head and loosened the hold I’d taken around his neck. My hands momentarily brushed his soft hair, then I pulled away. Harry hesitated but allowed me to step out of his hold.

“I can’t take it anymore, Harry,” I confessed, my voice breaking halfway through the sentence. I reached up to brush my cheeks with the end of my sleeve and hiccuped. My head felt numb and I knew if I didn’t get out of this kitchen soon, he’d witness a break down I wasn’t comfortable with him seeing.

Harry’s hand reached for my arm. I didn’t fight it when he pulled me closer to him, but avoided his eyes when he leaned down to find my gaze.

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice rough with emotion, “I promise you, it’ll be alright. M'not leaving, okay? M'not. We’ll figure this out.”

I wanted to scream but all I could was shake my head rapidly. “Figure this out how? What have we become, Harry?”

Another sob wrecked through my chest.

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “But we’re going to find each other again, okay? I promise. Let me say goodbye to the others and then we’ll go for a walk or something. We’ll talk. About everything and nothing at all… Just like we always used to, yeah?”

Used to. So long ago, it seemed.

“Okay,” I whispered, my burning eyes set on my feet. My skin shivered under his warmth and my lips hurt from how much I was bitting them.

I flinched when his mouth pressed a kiss to my head. The skin was left with a burning sensation. “Wait for me here, love.”

Harry’s quick feet carried him out of the kitchen and left me standing by the counter with my heart at the pit of my stomach. I stood up straight and brushed the few remaining tears from my cheeks. My skin tingled and I felt the hint of a smile on my lips, even though my body ached.
Looking back now, I wish I would have stayed put by the counter and had waited for him just like he’d asked me to. I wish I hadn’t been impatient and eager to reunite with Harry, because that eagerness drove me to exit the kitchen shortly after him and turn the corner, allowing me clear view into the living room.
There he stood. His arms around her thin form, his hands in her long hair and his lips kissing hers. All air was knocked right out of me. I could see how his hands gently moved against her neck, bringing her in closer and their bodies flush together. When their lips parted for a moment, I could see how he let his tongue run along his lower lip, as if he wanted to make sure he got all of her taste. And I could see him smile warmly at her, right before he leaned back in to connect their mouths once more. This sight… it burned.
I didn’t wait for him. Because I had been wrong before. My heart wasn’t truly broken until that moment, witnessing the man I loved with my everything, kissing a woman who wasn’t me. And if he wasn’t going to leave me, if he was just going to keep me close and allow my heart to shatter over and over again, then I supposed I would have to be the one to go first.
So that’s what I did. I walked back to the entryway, slid on my jacket, picked up my bag, and left the house. Left, to never come back to Harry Styles.

Keep reading

if i fought this indie singer, who would win? (pt. 2)

so i saw this text post floating around a few years ago and absolutely loved the concept. so, just to make it certain i’m not stealing your idea, rather just adding some other artists i think should be mentioned. original text post by @miragesofu! here we go.

Ed Droste (Grizzly Bear): There is a 40% chance Ed knocks you out. He’s so full of love and in a happy relationship with his adorable boyfriend. Although I feel like if threatened, his inner protective grizzly bear could come out. (Like that time he roasted Taylor Swift on Twitter?) So if you really want to, you can fight Ed. (But why would you want to?)

Ellie Rowsell (Wolf Alice): There is an 80% chance Ellie knocks you out. I mean have you seen how much cred she has from being in one of the best grunge/indie bands in the modern music scene? Also, her brother is a model so they could both just easily stun you with a glance. Don’t fight Ellie.

Yannis Philippakis (Foals): Turn around. Walk the other direction. He will get Dickensian on your ass. There is no way in HELL you are gonna win this one. Sure, he’s 5′7 but this man has the strength of 10 greek gods. He may come off as cuddly and soft (which he is) but it’s all a front. Don’t. Fight. Yannis.

Jack Steadman (Bombay Bicycle Club): 0% chance Jack knocks you out. He’ll most likely be preoccupied with sampling the most indie shit you’ve ever heard that he won’t even realize he’s supposed to be in a fight. Fight Jack.

Joe Newman (Alt-J): 50% chance Joe knocks you out. He’s got a bit of pent up anger from people always asking what his band’s name means. He’s got a soothing voice that could put you in a trance mid-fight so, it’s up to you. So if you’re up to it, Fight Joe.

Harry Koisser (Peace): -500% chance Harry knocks you out. I mean come on, he’s in a band called Peace. Doubt he’s gonna be in any fights anytime soon. He’s always wishing he had perfect skin so I doubt he’s gonna want to get it all cut up. I mean, sometimes he kinda deserves to be punched 4everever. so. Fight Harry.

Alex Trimble (Two Door Cinema Club): 0.5% chance he knocks you out. He’s all recovered from the hiatus and is back to his normal self. Although, he’ll probably be lecturing you on why social media is corrupt and ruining our lives. He’s also lost his northern irish accent completely. So for that reason alone: Fight Alex.

Van McCann (Catfish and the Bottlemen): 30% chance Van knocks you out. He’s not the strongest dude in the game, but he’s definitely got determination. If anything, he’ll get a good punch in but it will most likely have been complete luck. He’s a good guy though. Fight Van.

Connor Schofield (Jaws): 60% chance Connor knocks you out. He’s in one of the best indie bands right now and has written some Bops. Been on sold out tours and has 2 albums out. All of this under his belt whilst being unsigned. This guy has some tricks up his sleeve. So if you want to? Fight Connor?

Dave Bayley (Glass Animals): 60% chance Dave knocks you out. In a physical fight? Maybe not. But in a battle of wits this kid would have you begging for mercy. Went to Oxford University and is super smart just because. Brought back Pineapple’s and made them indie again. Don’t fight Dave.

Elena Tonra (Daughter): This one’s gonna end in a draw. Sure, she’s super cute and super petite but have you heard her lyrics? This girl has experienced a bit of life here and there. Once you hear those words all you’re gonna want to do is make her a cup of tea and ask her if she’s ok. Don’t fight Elena.

Matt Hitt (Drowners): -0% chance Matt knocks you out. This guy is like best friends with Alexa Chung and dated that one girl from 50 shades. He’s gotten cool from the people he knows. Sure. he’s got a cute face but the only thing he’ll get out of a fight is looking super angsty with a bruised eye. Fight Matt.

Josh Tillman (Father John Misty): -420% chance Josh knocks you out. He’ll be too busy writing about the demise of our society while simultaneously calling you out on your bullshit. He’s got some important things to say, but let’s admit it. He needs a good punch. Fight Josh.

Ben Howard: 15% chance Ben knocks you out. This guy’s middle name is angst. It isn’t. But it should be. He’s got some words that can tear your heart out. But overall, he just wants to be listened to. Don’t fight Ben.

Justin Vernon (Bon Iver): 10% chance Justin knocks you out. I mean come on, we’ve all heard holocene. That guy wouldn’t hurt a fly. Although he is very versatile and could be useful in a fight. (Most likely not). It won’t get you anywhere, so unless you really want to, Fight Justin.

Declan McKenna: -0% chance Declan knocks you out. This kid is one of the youngest in the game right now. Memes are his thing. Relatable to them #youngpeople. He’s just so easy to make fun of. So for the fun of it and because it’ll be an easy win, Fight Declan.

Mac Demarco: 0% chance Mac knocks you out. This guy is the literal definition of chill. He’ll probably offer to grill you a hotdog or some weird shit like that. He’ll get in a fight with you and at the end of it all still tell you “God Bless.” Just because it’ll be fun, Fight Mac.

Thomas Mars (Phoenix): 0.5% chance Thomas knocks you out. This guy is like 40 something now? Been in the game for long while. One of the OG Indies. There will probably be some sort of language barrier between you two, so it’s probably not even worth the fight away, Don’t fight Thomas.

Gary Lightbody (Snow Patrol): 5% chance Gary knocks you out. He’s a bit tired of being known as that ‘Chasing Cars’ guy. He’s also Irish so I wouldn’t want to fight an angry Irish man. But then again, he’s just another tall lanky Irish dude. Fight Gary.

Sameer Gadhia (Young the Giant): 50% chance Sameer knocks you out. This guy has the face and voice of an angel. Again, super smart and witty. But at the same time, has something intimidating about him. I’d say it’s a hit or miss. Don’t fight Sameer.

Dan Auerbach (The Black Keys): 0% chance Dan knocks you out. Okay this dude not only has The Black Keys, but has another band called The Arcs AND a solo project. Someone needs to tell this guy to sit down and take a break. He’s probably tired as hell. Fight Dan.

2

Dear Taylor,

I’m Suzy and I want to share with you something that is a big part of my life and that you are also a big part of it. When I was High School I wasn’t the most popular and didn’t have to many friends. I had braces, glasses, and didn’t know how to dress and teens called me weird. The only reason guys liked me was because of my body and that made me feel so used. I listened to your music a lot and it got me through a lot of hard times. When it came to prom my senior year, I thought I was actually going to get to go because a guy I really liked told me he would take me but in the end he backed out. I was left feeling like I wasn’t pretty enough or worthy of even going. That I would be laughed at if I went by myself. I decided to stay home, I wish I would have had friends to go with but none of them so called “friends” wanted to go with me. I was very unsure of who I was, until a few years ago. I went to your 1989 Tour and I heard your clean speech and the lines that stuck out to me the most of what you said was “You are NOT somebody else’s opinion of you.” and “You ARE your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.” I knew from that moment, I am who I know I am. That I am beautiful no matter what others say. You gave me hope!! Now I am stronger, more confident, and feel beautiful!! I decided that since this year is my 25th Birthday, I want to have a party that is Prom themed!! That this will be the prom I have always dreamed of, the one I didn’t go to because I was afraid to. But now I am fearless!! I know this is kind of last minute and I know you are a very busy person but I would love to invite you to my 25th Birthday Prom!!! There will be lots of food, music, and dancing!!! A place where I am free to be myself, a place where love will be!!! My Birthday Party will be on Saturday, June 24th, 2017!!! Would you, @taylorswift be my guest of honor at my birthday prom??? It would be a way of thanking you for all you have done for me and to have you at my party celebrating who I am now, it would mean so much to me!! I know it is such short notice but it would mean the world!!! I can’t say how incredible you are and how you have changed my life with your kind and loving words!!! I love you, Tay  :)

Love, 

Suzy W

2

Harry Styles’ solo album might be the most anticipated debut this side of the millennium. Following years as the bullseye in the global behemoth that was One Direction, the singer is taking center stage with a self-titled effort that’s a classic cocktail of psychedelia, Britpop, and balladry. If it was a color, it would be the baby blue of Jimi Hendrix’s Fender Stratocaster or the soft pink of Mick Jagger’s suit when he performed on “Top Of The Pops” in 1971. It’s rock and it’s roll, but it’s also soft and sensitive. Produced by Jeff Bhasker (Kanye West, Fun.) it’s a record that could force the position of mainstream radio by ushering in a reprise of proper music — ensembles, verse-chorus-verse, rich instrumentation, or, basically, Adele’s bag of tricks.

Despite the red herring of lead single ‘Sign Of The Times’ (it clocks in at just under six minutes in length), the album is a short shrift 40 minutes and contains ten songs that are largely about women. Unlike Robbie Williams and Justin Timberlake before him, there’s a deepened millennial sensibility to being a leading man. Harry is a sensitive soul; A post-Drake phenomenon; A serious pop performer with enviable vocal chops and a gifted ability to convey a song’s emotional heft. He oozes class, ease and a sense of import without thrusting forth from the hips, or wreaking of a self-satisfied sense of boyband emancipation. Both respectful of his past and nervous for his future, “Harry Styles,” the album, looks both ways. - Variety

Read on for a track-by-track:

Keep reading

The armistice between Taylor Swift and Spotify is good for everyone

Let’s answer the main question right out of the gate: the reason Taylor Swift brought her albums back onto Spotify and to platforms she’s overlooked in the past few years, like Amazon Music and Pandora Premium, isn’t because Katy Perry released Witness (although it may have something to do with the timing) or because Swift’s last album, 1989, sold 10 million copies (this is the official reasoning for the release) — it’s because of the new licensing deal between her distributor Universal Music Group and Spotify, and the realities of releasing music in 2017.

The new deal between UMG and Spotify allows for artists to choose to window new albums (or make them unavailable to free users) for up to two weeks after their initial release — a huge win for the label, and a sticking point for Swift. Streams from paid users pay far better than streams from ad-supported users on Spotify, and Swift is nothing if not fully in control of her content and her finances.

In 2014, the last time Taylor Swift released an album, people still bought albums. She pulled her catalog from Spotify the week 1989 was released, stating the service doesn’t pay artists fairly and doesn’t give them enough control over their content. “I’m not willing to contribute my life’s work to an experiment that I don’t feel fairly compensates the writers, producers, artists, and creators of this music,“ Swift told Yahoo at the time.

The experiment isn’t an experiment anymore.

In 2016, streaming became the dominant revenue driver for the music industry — when 1989 was released, it made up 27 percent of the revenue. Spotify grew from 10 million paying customers in 2014 to 50 million this year. Swift can’t ignore that.

Even Adele, a notorious hater of streaming, admitted that she would eventually catch up with the times shortly after she released 25 at the end of 2015, despite holding the album off streaming services for seven months. “I know that streaming music is the future, but it’s not the only way to consume music,” Adele told Time back in 2015. With an older audience used to buying albums, Adele might be able to stand on this for another release. Swift doesn’t have that luxury.

Make no mistake, Swift is one of the shrewdest businesspeople in the music industry, and she will get every dollar she’s earned. But in 2017, keeping your catalog off streaming services won’t help you maximize your earning potential or appease your fans.

You could argue Swift won both of her corporate fights in the music industry. She got Apple Music to pay artists during its trial period, and Spotify agreed to a two week windowing period for new albums. (The latter had far less to do with Swift and more to do with Spotify trying to stay afloat as a company charging toward an IPO, but a win is a win.)

While Spotify may have lost the initial battle, it didn’t lose the war, and frankly neither did Swift. This is a calculated armistice that allows both sides to retreat to their base and claim victory. 1989 is finally on the world’s largest streaming service, and Swift will get paid more and have more control over her content going forward.

The real winner here is the Swift fans and Spotify users, who can finally listen to the most popular artist in the US without hassle.

-The Verge (x)

Just You

Requested: No.

Warnings: A little bit of angst and implications of sex. First one shot (does that count as a warning?)

Word count: 941


“Are you really upset that I was talking to Charlotte?” Shawn sighed pressing his hands against Y/N’s island.

“No, I’m not.” She answered taking off her heels.

“Really now? Because ever since she sat at the table you haven’t said a word to me.” He rolled his eyes and followed her to his room.

“Really,  I’m not mad that you two were talking, Shawn.” She sighed and started to take her bun down.  They had just returned from a fancy dinner date Shawn setup for just coming home.

“Then why are you mad, Y/N?” He questioned. “We just talked.”

“No, you didn’t!” Y/N finally snapped. “You did not just talk! Just talking is ‘Hey, how are you? Your tour was great!’ not sitting down next to you at our table during our date.”

“Just talking is a wave not flirting with you in front of your girlfriend and staying for the entire night, even ordering food, which your girlfriend payed for by the way!” She pointed out. “Your fans don’t even do that shit, because they know how to respect boundaries.”

“Y/N, it was just dinner! I will take on another date tomorrow, how about that?” He ran his hand through his hair.

“It wasn’t just a dinner, you asshole.” Y/N stepped up to his face. “It was a ‘Welcome home and great tour!’ dinner. Because I hadn’t seen you in six months! But, Charlotte has apparently. You are all over her instagram.”

“She showed up at my concerts Y/N.” Shawn tried.

“Oh really? Just your concerts? How about in this picture?” She pulled up a screenshot of Shawn and his Ex girlfriend at a cute little café. “Or this one?” She swiped over to display the one of the two in a hotel pool. “Oh wait, I’ve got one for you.” She swiped again. This time Charlotte was hugging Shawn around his waist adorably while walking. It was taken by someone else, a sneaky picture.

“Where did you get that?” He asked scrunching her eyebrows.

“One of your fans sent it to me, questioning if we we’re still together.” Y/N put her phone away. “Which frankly I’m questioning as well.”

“What? No. You’ve gotta listen to me, Y/N.” He tried.

“No, you listen. Do you know how much it hurts to see your ex girlfriend treating you the way I should be?” Tears welled in her eyes. “I should’ve been at every concert for you, not her. I should’ve been in the pool with you at your hotel and with you in an adorable café. It should’ve been me.”

“Y/N, it was just coincidence. She was just there!” He tried reaching for her, but she pulled away.”

“No it wasn’t. She did everything in her power to be everywhere you were. She dropped everything to be in your arms. She was doing everything I should have… maybe, you…should’ve stayed with her.” She started, tears falling.

“No, don’t you say that.” Shawn argued.

“Come on, Shawn.” She choked back a sob. “That’s the kinda girl you need. One that’s there with you every step of the way.”

“And that’s not you?” He stepped closer to her. “You didn’t stay up all night with me while I tried to write my songs? You didn’t take me to the hospital when that sushi gave me food poisoning? You didn’t answer my calls at three in the morning when you were tired and had class the next day? You weren’t there every step I took?” He eventually backed her into a wall.

“Shawn-.” She started.

“No, be quiet and listen.” He stopped her. “I don’t want someone who is there at every concert or in the pool with me at my hotel or a café. I want someone who let’s me fall asleep on their lap after a too long day. I want a girl who will tell me how cheesy a lyric sounds. I want a girl who I can come home to that is dancing around in my tee shirt and her underwear to Taylor Swift.” He brought his hand up to wipe her tears away with his thumb.

“I need that girl. I need you.” He whispered.

“I want to be her…” She closed her eyes.

“I don’t.” Shawn breathed out a laugh. “There’s a reason we’re not together anymore.”

“But-” Y/N started.

“No buts. Just keep being you. That’s all I want.” He pressed his lips to hers gently.

Y/N sighed into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He smiled and pressed into the kiss, attempting to deepen it when Shawn’s phone began to buzz in his pocket.

Regretfully pulling away, he checked his phone to see Charlotte’s name across the screen. He moved to ignore it but Y/N had better plans. Taking the phone she swiped to answer.

“Sorry the number you have called belongs to a taken man whose girlfriend advises you to back off. You’re teetering on the line between annoying and pathetic. Bye now!” She didn’t give the girl a chance to speak before she hung up.

“What are you laughing at?” She asked feeling his chest rumble against her.

“You’re teetering the line between annoying and pathetic. Bye now!” He mocked.

She smacked his chest lightly. “I could’ve said much worse.” He only chuckled.

“Well, now that that’s over, I think movies and cuddles are in order.” He hummed.

“I have a better idea.” She smirked, pulling him in for a kiss.

anonymous asked:

WTF was all that pure pastel pink promo shit weeks ago? I feel like I dreamt it. Now when I look at the album art and listen to the lyrics about different women and sex and I make no correlation to the pure soft vulnerable bare Harry on the cover. WTF is the hard candy lyrics? WTF is going on with 'I am not a womanizer' image. Oh yeah sex, drugs & rock'n'roll. That's what's going on. As a fan of rock music I am so proud of the album. As a fan of Harry, I am disappointed.

Hello, and thank you for your message.

I completely understand. In fact this morning I did a full rant about my thoughts on the matter via Twitter. You can read it here. Like high key, Twitter is where I have no filter and am like “THIS IS WHAT I’M THINKING!!” and Tumblr is where I’m an analytical hoe about things, so let’s analyse!

I listened to the breakfast show last night (as I am currently in LA) and then fell into a mini rage coma because I, too, was like, “What the actual fuck just happened?” Then I woke up to this:

And I was like, “Well this is probably the most damage control we’ve ever gotten or will get.”    

HOWEVER! The dichotomy from Harry rainbow-wearin Styles and this NO HOMO I HAVE HETERO SEX WITH ALL THE WOMEN Hersh makes me…uneasy. That’s the only word I can come up with. Let’s be honest, last week Harry looked about one tattoo and rainbow away from coming out. This might as well have been him at that hockey game:

And then today with this…

There’s just this constant push and pull between what Harry DOES and what he says in interviews. But I get it. I do. Harry Styles is a billion dollar commodity. Do you understand how much revenue he’s brought to Sony in the last month? He sold out a tour for music that no one had even heard in minutes. 

At one point in my vida loca I was offered a publishing deal with a company that everyone has heard of. They wanted to publish it through their non-fiction department and they wanted me to say that I had slept with a don or professor at my university. Which I hadn’t. This was during my final year at university, and whilst I’m sure my life would’ve had a much different trajectory I’m also sure that once people figured out who I am (as many have), I would probably be stripped of my hard-earned Oxbridge degree for lying and shaming my university. Which is why you’ve never read any kind of SCANDAL at Oxbridge. Just the normal undergrad sex and drinking stuff. I rank quite low on the list of outrageous alumni if you look at the last 900 years of students. 

Back to Haz. 

Whilst I never compromised my morals, I also didn’t sign any kind of deal with the devil when I was 16. We have absolutely no idea what the details of his employment are. And he is an employee. Harry is owned by someone. Whether you like it or not, the bottom line doesn’t stop at Harry, it stops at the people who are investing in him and relying on a substantial profit. 

Perhaps the rainbows and pink and very romantic vibes he’s got going on with just about any man in his vicinity thing were all put out there to test the waters. We know that they monitor the fandom, and maybe the analytics didn’t hit their “okay to be gay” criteria. I’m speaking bluntly in terms of business because I can guarantee you that Sony cares about exactly one thing: the money that they are making for themselves. 

Something else to consider when recovering from whiplash because of this complete 180 Harry’s done since last week, is that interview with that horrible woman who said, “Fans are convinced that ‘Sweet Creature’ is about your relationship with Louis Tomlinson. Is it?” After which Harry spent approximately 138 seconds saying “Uhhhhhhhh” before refusing to say “no”. He could’ve said no! He could’ve SHOUTED no, as he did at Grimmy when he said, “Here’s a song about Taylor Swift!” One thing we got from that interview is that Harry does indeed have the word “No” in his vocabulary. “No. This isn’t about Taylor Swift.” vs “Yes. I can understand why fans think this is about Louis because it is but I would lean towards them maybe being wrong.” That isn’t how you say no. And that didn’t go over anyone’s head. 

Honestly, I love this album. “Woman” is actually my favourite song from it at the moment. I can’t really listen to “Two Ghosts” because it sounds too much like “Revelry” by Kings of Leon and that song is forever associated with a very bad time for me so yeah. “Woman” just reminds me of Bennie and the Jets and 27 Dresses.    

I just wish it could’ve been left at, “ It’s much more powerful when not taken simply as what it is.” Because that’s so true. This album is so layered and brilliant and I think I’m mostly mad that they’ve reduced it to such a boring and blatant interpretation. We got the very opposite of what Harry’s been telling us when he all but said that these songs are about actual women that he literally slept with. 

So I guess my question is…what exactly is Jeffry helping with aside from bringing back a narrative that Harry seemed to have tried relentlessly to debunk?

I just can’t reconciliate the Harry that they’re pushing this week with the Harry that reacted this way to being called a womaniser in an interview:

Regardless of what you think or ship, I do think that it’s fair to feel like you’re being asked to accept two completely contrasting versions of Harry Styles right now. 

Going with Harry to tape the BBC Radio 1 interview with Grimmy (Fluffy af)

Or when you have to keep secret that you filmed a video question for Harry…

“Nervous?” you ask before taking a large bite of toast with butter and jam.

“It’s just a normal chat with Nick,” he wipes the crumbs from your lip before you can swat his hand away, adding, “I’m just nervous for it to air.”

“Yeah, too bad we can’t be on the beach with Nicky when that happens,” you smirk from your perch on one of the tall stools by the breakfast bar.

Harry smacks your thigh lightly from his seat next to you, nearly spitting out his tea. “You know he hates when you call him that,” he tilts his head to the side as his body shakes silently with laughter.

“‘S’why I call ‘im that,” you say with a mouthful of jam.

Keep reading

“You are absolutely wonderful the way that you are. And the moment that we can stop listening to these messages that we’re receiving every day telling us how we should look, what’s beautiful, what’s sexy, what is cool. You know what I think is better than anyone else’s definition of what “cool” is? I think being happy is better than being cool. And the moment that you can just wash all of that stuff off of you — all those unwanted, uninvited opinions about yourself, and your life, and the way that you are — the moment you can look in the mirror and see only your own definition of your life, I think that’s the moment that you’re finally clean.” — Taylor Swift

harrehlouyah  asked:

Just curious if you did a break down of ESNY lyrics. id like to see your take on it.

I haven’t, but howbow now?

A lot of fans think Ever Since New York is about that unholiest of fauxmances, Haylor, since the primary stuntin’ took place in NYC. Listening to the lyrics, I agree with that.

Picture it: NYC, December 2012. 1D is at a career high, having played to a sold out Madison Square Garden crowd. This level of hotness must have smelled like blood in the water to fake ass fame vampire, Taylor Swift and her team. So commence fakelationship stuntin’!

I’ll show you what skeeved me out the most. The hotel ho strolls:

They’d make sure to pap Harry coming and going so that fans would infer that the s-e-x must have surely taken place. Classy. This is how music is marketed. Why God?


Meanwhile, all this fakery was apparently taking a toll on Louis:

And the Elounor awkwardness was later mocked by Grimmy:

And it only got worse from there. By New Year’s Eve, Tay Tay was reveling in this Times Square look-at-me spectacle:

Harry, not so much:

This was the point where 1DHQ really dug in with the closeting. Payzer 2.0 launched December 2012, too. Not a coincidence. This is where reality must have really set in. And this is just based on what we can piece together. God only knows what kinds of conversations took place bts to put all this in place. But I can imagine it was dehumanizing and demoralizing. Aggressive hetero stuntin’ would become the new normal for 1D.

So that’s the kind of stuff that would’ve influenced ESNY. It’s easy to understand why he still feels some type of way about it.

Harry:

Tell me something, tell me something
You don’t know nothing, just pretend you do
I need something, so tell me something new
Choose your words ‘cause there’s no antidote
For this curse or what’s it waiting for
Must desert you just before you go

Harry is my people because he comes out the gate swinging. I’m guessing this first verse is directed at Taylor. Being older and having been in the business longer, Harry is looking to her to make him understand why this needs to happen. He wants her to help him make peace with it. But Taylor is the monster showbiz created. She has no wisdom to offer. So Harry is left grappling with this closeting, which feels like a curse. And “must desert you before you go” feels like a reference to the end of Haylor, where she played the role of good girl who got dumped…again.

There she is alone on a boat…deserted. This is what had to happen before she could go for good. It’s a reference to the fakery–knowing how things will play out before they even happen.

Oh, tell me something I don’t already know
Oh, tell me something I don’t already know

Again, Harry’s desperate for something more profound. I’m sure his team was telling him this was good for him, that it was in his best interests personally and professionally. But Harry isn’t really buying it.

Brooklyn saw me, empty avenues
There’s no water inside this swimming pool
Almost over, that’s enough from you
I’ve been praying, I never did before
Understand I’m talking to the walls
And I’ve been praying ever since New York

Harry was able to venture out into the boroughs, unbothered. But in Manhattan? It was lights, cameras, stunt time! And Haylor is like a empty swimming pool: an artifice without purpose. Just like a pool needs water to fulfill its purpose, a relationship needs a real emotional bond to fulfill its purpose. And of course, there wasn’t one. Harry’s counting the days until Taylor sails her fraudulent ass away on that boat. Enough! Same Harry. Same. These are trying times and Harry’s literally praying his way through it–searching for strength where he hadn’t looked before. That’s how profoundly hurtful this experience is for him And he’s been praying ever since. We know why.

anonymous asked:

My sisters been sending your (amazingly) written metas, but I'm still confused as to what "Performance!Dean" is. Could you explain? ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hi! Thank you!

Performing!Dean is a tag that many of us use to explain the way that Dean portrays himself to the outside world, suppressing parts of himself that he doesn’t think should be outwardly shown.

It’s a form of SUBLIMATION (a psychological term meaning to repress emotions / a part of oneself), a term which he actually uses in 12x05.

It’s a great example. The writers KNOW that we associate Dean’s love of pie with women / being comfortable / the home and family feeling, and cake with the repressed side of him (it is repeatedly used in this context, Dean really wanting it but never allowing himself to have it or just nibbling at the edges). It’s quite a famously known concept.

So… when Sam asks Dean if he wants pie and Dean says no, which basically never happens, when Sam then looks so DONE and starts talking about how Mary is gone and… (the implication being he is about to mention Cas being gone too)… then Dean says nope nope I am FINE and Sam FINALLY calls Dean out on it, saying “Dean, it’s called SUBLIMATION”.

Originally posted by castielamigos

And Dean finally relents and says “Yeah, its kinda my thing”. (And then later in the diner he is seen to have eaten a whole slice of cake in front of Sam and no-one makes a big deal out of it….)

WE ALL SCREAMED. DEAN ACTUALLY IN THE SCRIPT, OUT LOUD, HAS SAID THAT HE SUBLIMATES.

Because THIS is Dabb again taking what has been IN THE SCRIPT and in the show for 12 years and building on it, making it BLATANT. Because we are building to endgame now, SPN isn’t likely to last past season 13-14, so the character arcs that were set up in season 1 (and 4 for Cas) need to be tied up, so we, the audience NEED it to be made obvious when it has just been in the subtext. THAT IS WHY SO MUCH IS SO BLATANT THIS SEASON. Ie Performing!Dean, Destiel, Sam and the MoL story, Mary being the catalyst for Dean’s self acceptance arc and Sam’s self forgiveness arc around Lucifer (which I think will be much more blatant next season re: Jack as his mirror).

With Performing!Dean it started to be made a bit more obvious since Sam told Dean that he was ‘kind of butch’ and people probably thought he was ‘overcompensating’ in season 2 but it still stayed subtext, Dean checking out a few guys here and there, only really getting with women when he was having his ‘I’m going to go to Hell and need comfort’ or ‘Sam is dead, Cas left’ moments or since he met Cas, whenever Cas had left, making Dean feel crappy and rejected or had just DIED, using it as a coping mechanism, even blatantly role playing in season 9 after he feels so bad about kicking Cas out of the bunker etc to the point that in 12x18 it is so blatant that this is what it is about, they even have Dean saying outloud that he is settling for Sam’s omelette mere seconds after clearly having settled for the waitress because she wasn’t what he really wanted on top of all the other give aways…

Anyway, it’s not just about his sexuality or feelings for Cas, there are many other aspects too, and those are the ones that are cemented in seasons 1-3. Most of these seem all to stem from John and if you see snippets from John’s journal it makes sense.

John says he is proud of Dean when he kills monsters, womanises, drinks etc etc. So guess what a young impressionable Dean learned was the best way to act in life?

Now, over the years bits have come out here and there. Every time we see Dean with a sexual partner he has been the submissive one, he is clearly an extremely giving lover and very caring. He is not a dude bro womaniser at heart, he cares for all the women he sleeps with enough to be kind and gentle with them, even the waitress in 12x18 who really he doesn’t REALLY CARE about, she’s just a coping mechanism, but he is still extremely sweet with her.

He drinks for years of course, he is a functioning alcoholic for most of the show, but lately he has switched to coffee… unless something really bad is going down. Like when we saw the empty bottle in his room in 12x19…

He listens to old rock music because it reminds him of his mom and dad, not because he is a real metal head. Yeah absolutely he loves it too I’m sure, but really it’s the emotional pull. And we haven’t heard him do so since 12x07. Just saying. He also admits to liking Taylor Swift in season 10, after firstly saying HELL NO, same with the cucumber water in 12x07. It’s not the music or the water or whatever as such, that is absolutely NOT what we are saying is making us feel Dean is bisexual or has a hidden side to himself, its the fact that he HIDES it first then admits to it afterwards, that is the essence of Performing!Dean.

When Sam drinks the cucumber water, no-one batted an eyelid, that means nothing to us, because Sam is super comfortable with who he is in THIS respect, even though he carries guilt etc, but that is another subject. But because Dean made a huge deal about how uncool and basically unmanly it was, after all we know of him over the years, THEN went and drank it anyway, saying “shut up” when Sam is like “seriously?!” THAT is where the Performing!Dean meta comes from. And Sam is the same as us, he doesn’t care if Dean is bi, or if he likes Taylor Swift or cucumber water or WHATEVER, what he DOES care about is the fact that Dean feels the need to hide it from him.

There are so many small points along the series that point to a lot of Dean’s persona being fake or exaggerated and how sometimes Sam knows and sometimes he doesn’t, it would be funny if it wasn’t tragic.

Deep down Dean Winchester is a soft, kind and generous soul who just wants to be loved and to help people.

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WE SAW IN 12x11. THIS IS THE EXPOSITION EPISODE FOR PERFORMING!DEAN AND THE CORE OF THIS WHOLE SEASON BECAUSE THE WHOLE SEASON HAS BEEN ABOUT THIS, WHICH IS WHY 12x22 IS THE CHARACTER LED FINALE, BECAUSE IT IS WHERE THIS FINALLY COMES DOWN.

Originally posted by disneyandthefamilybusiness

So yeah, the fact of the matter is that Performing!Dean has been there all along, since the PILOT, over the years it has been showed to us that it exists then some of the walls have started coming down. If anyone dares to tell me that Performing!Dean isn’t a thing (which I was told earlier this season, lmao) then I will kindly point them towards 12x11 and 12x22.

Also, let us not forget that even though 12x11 was mostly an exposition for Performing!Dean when he lost his memories, again harking back to the HEART is the person, NOT their memories theme of the season, we also were given the golden snippet that DEAN RODE LARRY BEFORE HE GOT WACKED WITH MAGIC. This is to show us that Dean’s walls are coming down this season. When Sam called him up on it in a way that seemed to be taking the piss, Dean, rather than attempt to deny or tell him to shut up actually embraced it and gloated about how GOOD he was at it. ATTA BOY DEAN!

With the resurrection of Mary and Dean’s near - complete death experience it seems that Dean got to the point in season 12 where he just didn’t want to hide from himself anymore and so let these walls down further, there were small snippets of this in nearly EVERY episode. 

12x11 was the exposition for casual viewers to see this side of him more clearly (in the same way that 12x19 was for Dean and Cas’s clearly more than platonic relationship, which will not be built on with HUGE LEGO BRICKS since Cas died), and now with the grenade launcher as a metaphor, Dean literally blew down his walls in 12x22. The culmination of this story was his confrontation with Mary where he explains WHY he always had this facade, because he had a shitty childhood, had to be a parent to Sam and that it wasn’t FAIR and he didn’t cope with it well at all.

So. There we have it. Performing!Dean is REAL, it was there ALL ALONG, we were RIGHT in seeing it because it is confirmed in 12x11 and then addressed and to some extent dismantled in 12x22, and the meta idea that the grenade launcher is associated with Performing!Dean was ALSO used.

Just… wowzers.

Originally posted by itsokaysammy

I don’t expect Dean to suddenly act completely differently now, he won’t, there are just some aspects of him that will be slightly more obvious or he won’t hide certain parts of himself. He still isn’t completely done with this, as Jensen himself said that there will be more of this to come in season 13…

I expect him to perhaps once or twice order a slice of cake or an ice cream sundae, to listen to the radio and not turn it over if a pop song comes on, to be more open with his feelings towards his family (and yeah, Destiel is a part of this for sure), a nice turn around but also not jarring, because it’s just a PART of Dean, not his whole self, a lot of what we see is really fully him, so it’s not that he is going to completely radically change!

Anyway, its all very exciting as the metaphorical death of Performing!Dean is just a part of what most of us see as a positive endgame for TFW and it is all looking pretty good so far :D

maddmusic reference

this is what i use, i’m only sharing what i experience as i experience it. it might me different for everyone, but i hope this helps 💙

COPING WITH BEING A MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMER ITSELF + FEELINGS OF ISOLATION AND/OR LONELINESS
* paradise / coldplay
* oh ms believer / twenty one pilots
* soon / thumbelina
* astronaut / simple plan

LOST PARAS/MOURNING/GRIEVING/PARACOSMIC NOSTALGIA
* how does a moment last forever (montmartre)
* shouldn’t come back / demi lovato
* dark paradise / lana del rey [warning: this song tends to trigger extremely depressing daydreams, i only resort to this when i’m already feeling significantly sad)
* colors (stripped) / halsey
* the house that built me / miranda lambert
* danny boy / declan galbraith (can be interpreted as parent and child or separated sweethearts relationship)
* bottom of the ocean / miley cyrus
* talking to the moon / bruno mars
* never grow up / taylor swift
*

SAD ROMANCE + BITTERSWEET LOVE + WORKING IT OUT
* sorry / halsey
* almost is never enough / ariana grande ft. nathan skyes
* just give me a reason / p!nk and nate ruess
* wildest dreams / taylor swift
* need you now / lady antebellum
* the heart wants what it wants / selena gomez
* she will be loved / maroon 5
* hey there delilah / plain white t’s
* what to do / demi lovato
* the last time / taylor swift ft. gary lightbody
* someone like you / adele
* back to december / taylor swift
* cosmic love / florence and the machine
* heart attack / demi lovato
* daylight / maroon 5

FALLING IN LOVE + HAPPY ROMANCE
* mirrors / justin timberlake
* summertime sadness / lana del rey
* look at me / carrie underwood
* love alone / katelyn tarver
* if you told me to / hunter hayes
* come on get higher / matt nathanson
* when i look at you / miley cyrus
* wanted / hunter hayes
* everything has changed / taylor swift ft. ed sheeran
* a thousand years / christina perri
* all of me / john legend
* catch me / demi lovato
* fearless / taylor swift
* marry you / bruno mars
* begin again / taylor swift
* i see the light / tangled
* young love / kip moore
* death of a bachelor / panic! at the disco
* ours / taylor swift
* let me be your wings / thumbelina
* more than miles / brantley gilbert
* a year without rain / selena gomez
* bright / echosmith
* state of grace / taylor swift
* without you / lana del rey [warning: comes with feelings of dependence on paras, may break the fourth wall]
* drive / halsey
* starlight / taylor swift
* if i lose myself / onerepublic
* salvatore / lana del rey
* can’t help falling in love / ingrid michaelson or twenty one pilots or céline dion or elvis (the original singer)
* malibu / miley cyrus

LUST + PASSION + NONVIOLENT SEXUAL VIBES + SEXUALLY CHARGED RELATIONSHIP
* treacherous / taylor swift
* pillowtalk / zayn
* take me to church / hozier (especially sinful vibes with this one, watch out)
* wildfire / demi lovato
* casual affair / panic! at the disco
* lust for life / lana del rey (seriously recommend this song, not only is it aesthetically pleasing and sexy but it’s also full of hope and general positive inspiration)
* miss jackson / panic! at the disco
* criminal / britney spears
* crazy in love / sofia karlburg or beyoncé
* stars dance / selena gomez
*


HEARTBREAK + AFTERMATH/END OF A LOVE STORY + ROMANTIC REGRET (NONVIOLENT)
* already gone / kelly clarkson
* jar of hearts / christina perri
* paper doll / john mayer
* goodbye / miley cyrus
* mine would be you / blake shelton
* when i was your man / bruno mars

FEELING LOW/DIRTY/DEPRESSED + UNHEALTHY TEMPTATIONS
* hold me down / halsey
* ballad of mona lisa / panic! at the disco
* gasoline / halsey
* teen idle / marina and the diamonds
* SAIL / AWOLNATION
* habits / tove lo
* chandelier / sia

ABUSE + VIOLENCE + TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS + HURTS TO LOVE YOU
* set fire to the rain / adele
* trouble / halsey
* grenade / bruno mars
* wild one / i am harlequin
* nicotine / panic! at the disco
* dear john / taylor swift
* stay / rihanna ft. mikky ekko
* i’m low on gas and you need a jacket / pierce the veil (super emo, suicidal vibes, highly emotional and poetic lyrics)
* love the way you lie / rihanna (there are 2 parts, i personally prefer part 2)
* teddy bear / melanie martinez (her music generally tends to focus on children’s lifestyle which can be creepy and seem pedophilic and i have mixed feelings about her but this one is kinda okay. just warning you in case you’re sensitive to it)
* dollhouse / melanie martinez (same with this one, i actually really like this one)
* cold as you / taylor swift

RECOVERING FROM ABUSE/TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS + RECOVERING FROM GENERAL DEPRESSIVE STATE (can also work non-madd)
* clean / taylor swift
* i’m not a robot / marina and the diamonds
* if i die young / the band perry (it’s a reminder of the aftermath of suicide)
* warrior / demi locator
* human / cher lloyd
* human / christina perri (they’re different songs)
* fight song / rachel platten
* try / colbie caillat (on female body image and standards)
* scars to your beautiful / alessia cara (also female body image and standards)
* wide awake / katy perry
* saturn / sleeping at last
* lovely / twenty one pilots
* carry on / fun

YOU’RE MY HOME + FAMILY OF FRIENDS + PLATONIC ROMANCE + JUST HANGING OUT (with a hint of friends with benefits)
* sweater weather / the neighborhood
* love / lana del rey
* she looks so perfect / 5 seconds of summer
* team / lorde
* we are young / fun
* this is what makes us girls / lana del rey
* tennis court / lorde
* 22 / taylor swift
* LA devotee / panic! at the disco
* holy ground / taylor swift
* forest / twenty one pilots
* royals / lorde
* new romantics / taylor swift
* i’m yours / jason mraz
* house of gold / twenty one pilots
* castle on the hill / ed sheeran

ASCENDANCE + FEMME FATALE + FEELING POWERFUL/DANGEROUS
* castle / halsey
* how to be a heartbreaker / marina + the diamonds
* heathens / twenty one pilots
* blank space / taylor swift
* dangerous woman / ariana grande
* control / halsey
* can’t be tamed / miley cyrus
* national anthem / lana del rey
* primadonna girl / marina and the diamonds
* centuries / fall out boy
* emperor’s new clothes / panic at the disco
* circus / britney spears
* music to watch boys to / lana del rey
* defying gravity / idina menzel
* homewrecker / marina and the diamonds
* off to the races / lana del rey

an extra bit of advice:

-follow up a series of dark/sad themes with a few happier themes
-try not to engage in the violent/depressing themes, but i know sometimes it’s just too hard to resist, so when you just *have* to daydream violence and the like, if it gets too intense for your health, cut off the music, take a little break, put on a happier song even if you don’t feel like listening to one yet
-please turn the volume down, darling
-drink water!! take breaks
-if you cry, it’s okay

i hope this helps!! sorry to the boys, these are mostly directed @ girls cause i’m a girl and so is my parame :// if you’d like to request more themes, drop them in my inbox or leave a comment and i’ll see what i can do for you!!

Why Taylor Swift Is The Greatest Living Songwriter (Under 60) Taylor

I recently found myself at a BMI Awards dinner where the song publishing rights organization was handing out some career achievement awards, the first of which went to the classic ‘60s team of Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil. And then they gave one to Taylor Swift, in one of those cases where they have to name the award to the person it’s being given to because it feels a little too uncomfortable to give the standard “lifetime” award to someone in her 20s. In her speech, Swift gave props to her elders: “I first wanted to say to Cynthia Weil, to Barry Mann, and to Carole King, you, the Brill Building, your legacy, are the reason we do what we do. Many of us in this room can’t dream of accomplishing what you guys have accomplished.”

Except she already has. And (heresy alert!) more. Swift is a rightful heir to the Brill Building tradition, with all the mastery of pop craftsmanship that entails, but she’s also the finest contemporary inheritor we have to the confessional singer/songwriter throne. She’s Barry Mann and Bruce Springsteen, together in one silver metallic mini dress-wearing package. That’s why I say Taylor Swift is our greatest living songwriter—under-60 division, just to be safe. But I digress.

I am glad I’m alive in the prime era of Taylor Swift the same way I felt glad to be alive in the half-century of Dylan and Springsteen and The Beatles and Costello. I’ve leaned forward into my first listens to 1989 and Red the same way I thirsted for the on-sale moments of The River and Nebraska and Imperial Bedroom and Time Out of Mind. These are the moments — all too infrequent in the 2010s, if you’re a recovering rock snob — that you live for as a music fan and especially singer/songwriter aficionado: the opening of a magazine you subscribe to, in which the editor-publisher has promised to bleed onto every page in some fashion. You look forward to admiring the craft and you want to know that you’ve been handed the next six months’ or year’s worth of earworms all at once. But most of all you want to feel you’re about to make that passionate connection with a deep-feeler who knows you better than your own best excuse for a best friend.

Where Swift is most like the great confessional rock writers, and least like the Brill Building set, is in her propensity to fill her songs with seemingly stray details. If you’re writing by the books, you learn early on not to include random asides that throw listeners out of the commonality of the lyric. But Springsteen, Dylan, Costello, et al. have faith that, whatever is lost in relatability by including something specifically autobiographical is a gain for fans who know that that weird minutiae confirms the rest of the emotions as authentic. When Swift interrupts Out of the Woods to mention “Twenty stitches in a hospital room/Remember when you hit the brakes too soon,” that’s about as un-Brill as Bruce talking about Crazy Janey and Greaser Lake. But the specificity of the bridge makes the universality of chorus more meaningful, even if the unstable relationship you’re being reminded of by the song didn’t involve a visit to the ER. It may seem peculiar to the 21st century that we can confirm who the significant others in Swift’s songs are by picking out lyrical details about eye colors or fire signs or scarves and checking them against her exes. But is finding out whether All Too Well was about Jake or Harry that terribly different than the thrill of figuring out whether Dylan’s It Ain’t Me, Babe was about Suzi or Joan, but with Google taking the place of waiting years for a biography?

The position that Swift is Actually Quite Awesome is not nearly as controversial among the older white guy set than it would have been a few years ago. You only get a B for courage now, not the former A, if you speak up at a cocktail party and say, “No, I don’t mean it’s good for what it is, or she’s a positive role model for my daughter or a gateway drug to Courtney Barnett, I mean she is truly the shit.” (Crickets may still ensue, mind you, if no longer outright shaming.) You can attribute this in part to Ryan Adams, whose album-length cover version of '1989’ did a fairly excellent job of indie-splaining Swift to people who only needed to hear that her songs could be rearranged in the styles of The Smiths and Elliott Smith to sign off on her. As much as I enjoy Adams’ '1989’, it falls just a little short as reinvention, or revelation: You kind of sense him wanting to get credit for being the first to discover that Swift’s frothiest sounding songs all have minor chords and melancholy under the Max Martin-ization. The real problem with Adams’ interpretations—which is not a fatal problem, given how good Wildest Dreams sounds as an R.E.M. song—is that he doesn’t really have that much use for the words, given how uninterested he is in emphasizing particular words or phrases and how he throws away some of the best lines. (To be fair, this is pretty much Adams’ approach toward his own lyrics, too.) Not that with Swift the lyrics are everything, when she has such a gift for melodic delights and surprises… but, yeah, the words are kind of everything.

Going back to Swift’s 2006 self-titled debut now, it sounds a little primitive, in retrospect. Which is fine: “primitivist” is exactly what you’d expect or hope for from a girl who released at 16 an album of songs she’d mostly written at 14 and 15. No one should sound 30 as a teenager, unless she’s Fiona Apple. (Hearing Apple’s eloquent teen jadedness when she was a freshman artist felt as impressive and spooky as Captain Howdy’s voice coming out of Regan MacNeil’s mouth.) At the time, it was a widely held assumption that co-writer Liz Rose was the brains of the operation. But you couldn’t help but notice that the best song on the album, Our Song, was a solo Swift composition, penned before she had access to the best song editors Music Row could offer. It sounded utterly conversational , establishing Swift’s knack for writing in complete sentences in a way that sounds completely diaristic and completely musical. It embraced both metaphor (“Our song is the slamming screen door”) and the meta (being one of those songs that is self-conscious about how it is, in fact, a song). It was winsome, guileless, and juvenile—in the best way—on top of being freakily expert for a song written by an underclassman for a school talent show.


Two years later (Swift’s follow-up albums have always been two years later, up until now), she came up with Fearless, which was so much more accomplished that it won her the Grammy for Album of Year, the first time that’d been accomplished by a record made by a teenager. But looking back at it now, you can see it was the only time she ever really marked time, stylistically, as a record-maker. The breakthrough that mattered was 2010’s Speak Now, which was her first real “pop album” (at least for those of us who pay attention to content and not the officially mandated tropes that insisted that honor belongs to '1989’). Just this once, she wrote the entire album by herself, in a rather deliberate F-you to everyone who figured she’d been propped up by Nashville pros. Similar auteurist turns by pop and country artists with points to prove have not always gone so spectacularly but Swift used the opportunity not just to defend but to diversify, as great writers and investors will. This DIY show of tour-de-force ran the gauntlet of effervescent girl-group pop (the title song), Evanescence goth-rock (Haunted), cheerful neo-bluegrass (Mean), girl-on-mean-girl pop-punk (Better Than Revenge), and even a token transitional single in the country-folk style of the first two albums (Mine).

'1989’ is the masterpiece of her career so far
'Speak Now’ also incidentally included the most searing, stark, boldly confessional song by a major artist since John Lennon’s Cold Turkey. (Hyperbole intended.) This was Dear John, a slow, epic-length missive to a love-'em-young-and-leave-'em type that was jaw-dropping in its vulnerability and rage. Never mind the lucky stroke that apparently had the rock star who used and discarded Swift being a guy really named John; Swift does like her literalism, so she probably wouldn’t written a public dear-John letter to a Tom, Dick, or (even) Harry. It’s a ballad that creates the illusion of the artist having vomited onto the page—for those of us who like that sort of thing—but actually belies a severe level of craft beneath the bile. The song rises to an emotional victory, as Swift goes from paying witness to “all the girls that you’ve run dry (that) have tired, lifeless eyes 'cause you’ve burned them out” to being the one who “took your matches before fire could catch me, so don’t look now: I’m shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town.” Compare this to the other great fireworks song of 2010, Katy Perry’s, and there is simply no pyromaniacal contest.


With 'Red’ another couple of years later, she bid a fond F-you to her own previous F-you and reintroduced co-writers to her stable, now adding Max Martin and Shellback as collaborators on a choice trio of songs, as if to say: I dare you to knock this block off. Aside from the handful of tracks with those guys, though, 'Red’ felt more like a classic singer/songwriter album than anything she’d done before or certainly since. It was all about lost love, and hardly for the first time, but now Swift was jettisoning her “better than revenge” approach to achieving payback in song and taking equal responsibility for relational failures, and it was all very sensitive and self-examining and enlightened. So when I got my first listen to the determinedly frothier '1989’ a couple of years still later, I lamented the loss of the previous album’s hard-fought breakthroughs in songwriting maturity.

Lamented it for about two minutes, that is. '1989’ is the masterpiece of her career, so far, and that’s not withstanding the thick gloss of candy coating that covered the whole endeavor now that Martin was fully on board as guiding executive producer as well as hands-on guy on about half the tracks. The meme favored by some critics, that Swift had sold out on us with all this interference by the reigning kings of the pop machinery—and after all we’d done to defend her as an artiste!—was misguided even by the usual standards of stick-up-one’s-ass bias and entitlement. It may seem counter-intuitive, for those of us who usually live and die by singer/songwriter yardsticks, to say that '1989’ is Swift’s most mature album, when there is barely a guitar anywhere in earshot for the singer’s tears to fall upon. But as it turns out, it is possible to talk intelligently, walk in rhythm, and chew bubblegum at the same time.

Yes, '1989’ is a less outrightly emotional album than any of its predecessors. Swift herself has said it’s the first time she wasn’t writing in the wake of a heartache. And that’s part of what makes the album so seasoned and smart. If all the previous albums were her “breakup album,” '1989’ is her maybe-we-are-ever-getting-back-together album. It’s about being just a little bit rueful about past relationships—in a less world-ending, drama queen-y fashion than the take-no-prisoners approach that admittedly made a lot of us fall for her in the first place – and largely about that impulse to reconnect, even as you sit by the phone and consider what a terrible idea that would be. She’s thinking back on a breakup that wasn’t that traumatic (possibly one with Harry Styles, if we’re to take the cheeky title of Style literally), and considering every negative and possible angle to rekindling an old flame. As a result, a lot of the songs on '1989’ are about mixed emotions, which are by and large the hardest kind to write.

She understands more brilliantly the power of dynamics — that even the most grandiose song can benefit by suddenly getting completely naked for 40 seconds.

And here is where we quote another great pop writer, F. Scott Fitzgerald, who famously said: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” Swift is showing us that first-rate intelligence when she encapsulates the divisions we all experience as we find the good and bad in people, lovers and otherwise: “You always knew how to push my buttons/You give me everything and nothing.” “Ten months sober, I must admit/Just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it.” “This love is good, this love is bad/This love is alive, back from the dead.” As the CEO of her own corporation, Swift has had a lot of time to think about risk/reward ratios. Grappling with that in matters of love is part of her giftedness and increasing talent as a writer.

I think again of the congratulations Ryan Adams got for bringing out the sadder emotional undercurrents in '1989’’s material. He deserves some of it, but it’s not as if Swift didn’t make that a fairly easy discovery. Bad Blood is the most blatantly confectionary song on '1989,’ with a sing-song-y quality of the chorus makes you think Avril Lavigne, if you’re making comparisons. But would Avril, or any other pop star you can bring to mind, have interrupted the beats and chants for a lengthy, virtually a cappella bridge that brings the mood down with its warnings about bullet holes and living with ghosts? It’s akin to the hyper-produced song on her previous album, I Knew You Were Trouble, where Swift puts an end to all the dubstep to very quietly wonder, almost sotto voce, whether the object of her affections ever loved her, the other girl, “or anyone.” In the big beat era, she understands more brilliantly the power of dynamics—that even the most grandiose song can benefit by suddenly getting completely naked for 40 seconds.

Blank Space, meanwhile, shows Swift to have under-heralded skills as maybe the greatest comedy writer since Eminem. As probably everyone who wasn’t completely divorced from pop culture in 2015 knows, Swift wrote it as a sort of spoof of her own image as a serial romancer (which is to say, a girl known for dating about half as many partners as a typical guy her age). When she says she’s got a blank space “and I’ll write your name,” it’s understood that she means she’ll write an excoriating song about the dude later on—she’s in on that joke. But amid the nearly Randy Newman-esque humor and exaggeration, there’s a real undercurrent of pain and possible self-knowledge. The time limits that come up in lines like “I can make the bad guys good for a weekend” and “Find out what you want/Be that girl for a month” don’t sound like they’re being played strictly for ironic laughs.

She is maybe the greatest comedy writer since Eminem.

Is she a spokeswoman for a generation? You might be on thin ice using that kind of phraseology for someone who spends so little time writing outside of the relational realm. But Swift does have an understanding of impermanence that seems uniquely millennial. She’s talked about how she looks at the length of her parents’ marriage and no longer takes it as a given she’ll find a lifetime partnership, which would probably come as a surprise to the younger Swift who wrote Love Story. But she finds a haunting beauty in what we might call planned obsolescence. “Wildest Dreams” pulls off the particularly tricky time-traveling feat of looking ahead to a future in which you’re looking back to the past… and of being intensely sexy and rueful at the same time. “You’ll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down,” she sings. “Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around.” That moment when you’re in the heat of passion, leaving your body just long enough to realize you’ll be nostalgic for it someday? If you’ve ever experienced it, you probably never thought somebody would nail it in a song.

Not that you have to be a millennial to be capable of considering how things are likely to end even in the midst of everything going right. I was trying to remember what song the future-nostalgia of “Wildest Dreams” reminded me of, in some weird, roundabout way, and then it came to me: Dylan’s You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go. It’s maybe heretical to compare the bard with this girl from the north country, but not so heretical to say: Great minds wistfully think alike. And we should all feel a little lonely if either of them ditched us.

An annotated compilation of some of my favorite love songs

listen here  )

Be My Forever – Christina Perri (feat. Ed Sheeran)

“We’re on top of the world now darling so don’t let go…”

This song is one of my favorites by Christina Perri. It’s fun, quirky, and most importantly it features Ed Sheeran (plus Taylor Swift’s laugh towards the end) It’s the ultimate story about a couple who sees themselves being together forever. My favorite lyric is “You’re my bright blue sky // You’re the sun in my eyes // Oh baby you’re my life // You’re the reason why” because it describes that feeling of true love and how magical it can be.

Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran

This song is basically 8 minutes and 46 seconds of pure magic. When I first came across this song I couldn’t believe such a thing existed. It may not be as uplifting as the previous song, but I feel that its story of hopeful romance is really heartwarming and Ed’s way of turning lyrics into something so powerful really puts me in his position of needing love. It is incredible to see how he can take simple phrases and reword them into something so thrilling. When he says, “paint splattered teardrops on my shirt” instead of simply saying he is crying is just crazy to me. This song is one of my favorites by Ed and it is my go-to song whenever I need to calm down.

Fearless – Taylor Swift

“In this moment now // Capture it, remember it”

Throwing it back to Taylor’s country days, this song is a love story about being fearless and not knowing why. “And I don’t know why, but with you I’d dance. In a storm, in my best dress. Fearless” This song is about when you just can’t help how you feel about someone, and you’re nervous and scared, but also excited. It’s cute and really captures the story of someone who just can’t control how they feel. It’s totally a classic T-Swift love song.

From the Ground Up – Dan + Shay

This song is the definition of true love. It’s the story of Dan and Shay’s grandparents, and how they built their love step by step and grew old together. The song starts with, “Grandma and grandpa painted a picture of sixty-five years // And one little house // More than a memory // More than saying I do // Kiss you goodnight’s and I love you’s.” These few opening lines are so powerful because it shows how much love means to them and how their love is not just “saying I Do” at their wedding, but it’s all of the work and effort they put into it. This song is different from other Dan + Shay songs, because most of their songs are the type I would roll down the windows to in the middle on the night during the Summer, but this song is beautiful and meaningful.

Perfect – One Direction

Okay yes, judge me all you want, but I love this song for multiple reasons. 1) It is totally about Taylor Swift and 2) It is actually a really cute story. It’s basically a song about not being the typical “Mr. Perfect”, but being perfect in his own way. It lists off things that aren’t ideal for a boyfriend. “I might never be your knight in shining armour // I might never be the one you take home to mother // And I might never be the one who brings you flowers.” But then it continues into the reasons why he is perfect for this specific girl. “If you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms // And if you like having secret little rendezvous // If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do //Then baby, I’m perfect // Baby, I’m perfect for you.” It’s funny and cute and really gives the listener a sense of the crazy relationship that Harry Styles and Taylor Swift shared.

How Would You Feel – Ed Sheeran

This song literally just came out tonight, and after the first time I heard it I automatically fell in love with it. I love how Ed starts by saying, “You are the one girl, you know that it’s true.” This song is so beautiful and I really love how Ed’s music has evolved into music about pure love, rather than the heartbreak he used to sing about. I love how he says, “Love flows deeper than a river, every moment that I spend with you.” It’s exciting to see his music grow and this song only makes me more excited for his album coming out in March.

All of the songs in this collection share one main similarity in the theme -  Love. They are all different in genre and sound, but they all share the same focus of falling in love, finding a soulmate, or being totally wrong and right for a person at the same time. Each artist brings something different to the theme, but they all leave you with one message – love is inevitable.

I don’t think a lot of people understand the effort that goes into songwriting. There’s lyricism, putting those lyrics to a melody, putting that melody in a score, giving that score extra sound effects and beats at just the right moment for the effect you want, and all of those processes are time consuming and emotionally draining. You’ll spend hours combing through hundreds of songs you’ve written trashing 90% of your work just in the lyrical phase even if it’s good bc it’s not good enough and you’ll spend days making sure that melody is catchy but not annoying, conveys the emotions you’re trying to express, if you plan on singing it yourself you’ll make sure it’s in your range and compliments your voice, is it unique enough without being weird? Is it strong? Should it be strong? Could it be better? How can you make it better? Is this the best it can be or should I spend a couple more days working on it? And after that you have to write accompaniment. What instrument should you put it on? Can you add more instruments? Do you know anyone who can play some of these instruments while you perform/record/whatever you’re doing with it bc you can only play one thing at a time. What chords go with the melody? How can you make those chords more interesting to listen to? Is this really the best I can do? Could it use backup vocals? Who would back me up? Is that too much? Does it still convey the emotion you were going for? There’s a ton to think about. It’s an incredibly time consuming process and sometimes after going through all of it you still end up scrapping it. You don’t even know if any of your work will be seen. Ever. You then work insanely hard to find someone to record it for you (or save up money for your own equipment and find yourself a room and fix up that room to suit your needs, which also costs time and money) and hope and pray people like it if you ever get it out into the public eye. Bc after all the work you went through you still can’t make people listen you still can’t make people like it. Songwriters deserve more respect than being written off as lazy, privileged people who get payed way more than they deserve.

Sparks Fly

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*Requested

Imagine: In 1919, while looking for ripper Stefan, who went missing nearly a year ago, you have a very pleasant meeting with one the oldest vampires in existence: Klaus Mikaelson. 

Warnings: slight smut, bad words and, oh, well, it’s a vampire imagine, there’s gotta be a little blood. haha

N/A - Not quite as you requested, but I hope you like the same way, anon. :) Also, you guys could read this while listening to Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift. I heard it repeatedly when I was writing this one. 

Word Count: 2326 

Dear Damon,

I am aware of the promise I made to sent you a letter every month, so you know that I’m alive, but things have been a bit messy lately. Moving from one place to another has not given me much time to write; actually, my only true focus is finding our brother and getting him back to his oldself. Perhaps I’ll be able to do that here in New Orleans, which, by the way, is a wonderful city. You should be here to see the night lights and cheerful dances.

Oh, shucks! That reminded me I have got to meet up with my friend Lexi in twenty minutes at this famous pub. Apparently, the Original family is here (yes, the one who created all other vampires) and goes there every evening, she thought it would be a cool way to blow off some steam while we don’t find Stefan.

She might have a solid point.

Well, I will not extend myself, for I have to leave, however, don’t worry about me, everything is fine and I got the feeling this it. So, soon enough, we’ll be joining you in Paris.

I miss like crazy those cold winter days…

Anyway, kisses and hugs to you from your loving sister

                                                                                                    Love you,

                                                                                                                      Y/N.


You dropped the exquisite pen on the table and sighed, thinking that what you were telling him was more than enough. Sure Damon would be pleased to hear you were still breathing, because, in his mind, chasing emotionless Stefan was dead end job. Not that he was wrong, but you were never the kind of girl who would leave someone behind, especially if that someone was your own flash and blood.

“Y/N Salvatore!” A voice cut through the silence of your house. “I can’t believe you’re not ready yet.”

“Hey, Lexi.” You smiled and stood up, moving smoothly towards the majestic mahogany wood wardrobe. “I completely forgot we were supposed to go out tonight! That’s why I’m not…”

“Don’t make excuses!”

“I’m not making any.” This time an angry huff slipped, as you diverted your eyes to the well hung dresses, not being sure which one you were going to pick.

The blonde woman, who was with arms crossed against the wall next to your door’s bedroom, rolled her eyes and cave in, as usual, approaching to help you get dressed. She always had a good eye for those stuff, making anyone advised by her look hauntinly fabulous.

A short time later, after your friend decided what was suitable for the place, you stared yourself in the mirror, feeling ready to steal any man’s heart because the baby pink gown you had on highlighted your every curve, also giving an insinuating gleam to your once innocent traits. Absolutely perfect to a girls night out.

“We should go.” Lexi blurted out, after checking on the huge clock placed in one corner. “It’s getting late.”

“I’m sure that doesn’t matter” Your reply was gentle, as you worked on your Y/H/C wild curls. “But if it means that much to you, we can go now. And, maybe, we’ll find Stefan there, or at least a lead on his whereabouts.”

“Oh no.” The girl rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “We’re shutting off the ‘get my baby brother back’ thing for a night.”

“Lexi!”

“Shush. Don’t argue with me.” Now her index finger was pointed sharply on your face. “And listen: I know you love him and that he is very important. However, not everything is about Stefan. Or Damon. You are your own person, so live a bit and enjoy the pleasures of life.”

Somehow, you were not able to shout out a rude response. Instead, after a couple of minutes, you exhaled tiredly and nodded, agreeing that she was right. Lexi squeezed the nude skin of your shoulder and you glanced at her, finding her so sweet and so comforting brown eyes.

“Can we please have some fun now?”

“Sure, blondie.”

“Now that’s the Y/N I know.”

You two shared a quick laugh and left the cosy pension room, going to your natural habitat: the darkness.

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nieladasdenani  asked:

Hi! I love your stories. So much. And I was just thinking, if you find the inspiration and when you have time, maybe you could write more Drunk!Kara? Because is so precious and adorable and hilarious and also sweet. Maybe it could be that some alien's defense mechanism works like a sort of drug on her and the effects are a lot like she's drunk? Extra points if it Supercorp but feat. Alex, Maggie, and whomever you'd like :) oh, Cat! Cat too. Pretty please

i send you the sun ~3500 AO3

“And what did you say was wrong with her?”

Kara frowns. Leans forward and tries to wiggle her shoulders between the two seats. The seats groan and then there’s a hand pushing her back, “ease up Kara. She’s older.”

Well, that’s stupid. “It’s a car.”

Alex chances a quick look back at her, warm brown eyes worried. “The alien released chemicals that are-”

“They make her drunk?” Maggie interrupts bluntly.

“Toxic,” Alex finishes, eyeing Maggie before dipping her head and, “but yeah. That works.”

Which is ridiculous. She’s not- she scratches at her arm, looks out the window and the nice sky and bright stars and lights and- what was she? She’s not drunk.

Keep reading

Hunting Island

(Credit to whom ever this pic belongs to. I got it off Google)

Title: Hunting Island

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen/You

Warnings: Rated NC-17 for smut, there’s a tiny modicum of angst if you squint and fluff all round!

Word Count: 5,793

Summary: Jensen needs a vacation but what he gets is a new way of looking at things.

This was written for Kayla’s Birthday Challenge @one-shots-supernatural! Thanks so much for letting me join the challenge. This was a lot of fun and I hope you have a great birthday on May 17! My quote was: “Petrichor… it means the smell of the rain after it falls.” And my place was Camping!

It’s been difficult for Jensen to go anywhere lately without being noticed by someone. And while he usually doesn’t mind signing an autograph or taking a picture or two, the man needs a vacation. Last night, you could tell by the gravel tone of his voice over the phone that the man was exhausted.

Luckily, season 12 of Supernatural had just wrapped, and he was headed home to you for a much needed break.

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10 Years (The Reunion III)

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Warning: swearing, kissing, lol, fluff, heartache, and this is not proof read sorry

Tagging: @nervousmemzie  @apollogirl13 @janeerikabrady @nerdishstylist @typingtwombly @maddie110201 @ashleyswriting @ashleyjeanvanheel @dtescohmi @atlas-of-the-world  @archiekins-ronnie @itsall-inmy-head @darlingimafangirl @ivette29 @henrietteoaks

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (you are here) / Part 5

Originally posted by sarcasticallystilinski


The cold water covered Stiles’ face as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes to splash another handful of water over his hot skin. He was shaking, he thought he was ready to see you but he really wasn’t. He stared into mirror, watching his brown eyes falter and his once happy smile disappear. “Fuck.” He groaned, anger building inside his veins. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Stiles recalled the last time he was in this position, the heat rising onto his cheeks, remembering the time he failed himself.

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anonymous asked:

hey there, so i always wondered about the purpose of dean's church confession in 10x16, what the hell were the writers trying to tell us?

Originally posted by dmitri-mish-ackles

Well…. it’s a part of Deans whole storyline since the pilot - a component of the exposition that his 12 years of story that we have been watching is all emotionally driven, a character based arc rather than plot based, all centering around Dean’s journey to self acceptance and self worth.

It’s also in large part a part of my #performing!dean tag and I imagine every meta writer’s performing!dean tag as performing!dean is a large part of this arc, the deconstruction of which leads to his self acceptance and works alongside his self worth.

At this point in 10x16, Dean is realising that he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t think he deserves to die…

Remember all Dean’s self hatred, all his self loathing and feelings of worthlessness from earlier seasons? Remember how he constantly put himself in harms way because he felt that any life, anyones, was pretty much more worthy of living than his own?

Well, that has changed by this point. He still cares for others and their lives in a massive way and will still put himself in harms way to protect them but it isn’t with the same nonchalance towards his own life, he isn’t actively thinking that his own life is worthless anymore…

Remember this?

Originally posted by castielsource

Remember how, over the whole show but particularly since Hell Dean has grown, has evolved, not to change himself as such but to change the way he sees and portrays himself to others? How he has started up to 10x16 to let some of his guard down? How only 4 episodes earlier he admitted to liking and listening to Taylor Swift in front of Sam for example? How he has become more emotionally available with Cas since purgatory?

This is all part of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean and his emotional journey to self acceptance… Self acceptance is for me Dean’s whole arc since the pilot. It is with key points such as going to Hell, the introduction of Cas and more recently the introduction of Amara as the exposition but then Mary as her extension as the actual catalyst that we have come to the climax of this arc for Dean in 12x22.

There are moments throughout the show though that of course build to this moment and this is just one of them. The others being for example:

1x09: Dean walks away from Sam to call John about going back to their family home, facing the ghost of Mary, he breaks down and sobs into the phone, revealing that he is an extremely emotional person and family is his weakness but also his biggest focus in life.

2x11: Dean asks Sam why everyone assumes they’re gay, Sam tells Dean he is a bit butch and seems like he is overcompensating (gee, ya think?!).

2x13: Dean and Cassie: basically a huge exposition for the fact that Dean portrays himself as a give-a-shit lothario but when it comes to it he loves and he loves hard, he’s a gentle lover and fell in love with a passionate woman who only left him because she thought it was for his own good and what he wanted, they argue, they stare deeply at each other, they fight, because they care. Sam even tells Dean:

“What’s interesting is you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she’s not looking, she checks you out when you look away. It’s just a… just an interesting observation in a… you know… observationally interesting way.”

I even did a gifset parallel with 12x19 of this episode cos dude, exposition much. She’s even called Cassie FFS *Tink looks into the camera*. gifset here.

4x01: Cas looking straight into Dean’s heart and seeing that he doesn’t think he deserves to be saved etc. leading to Dean then convincing Cas himself that they deserve to have Free Will, that they can save the world and they do by s5. *sobs a little at how beautiful this story is and it’s only 2 years in*

The whole of season 7: Dean is an alcoholic mourning Cas and worried for his brother then also mourning Bobby, feeling his life is worthless if he can’t save and protect his family.

MoC era: Dean loses what makes Dean Dean. He becomes hard, full of anger and pain, without the soft side. This is frightening and he would rather die than become like this.

Season 11: Amara is a complete exposition of Dean’s emotions, as I wrote it a few long posts about Amara, search #amara on my blog but here and here are the main ones. She exposes that he feels love but also shame, that he is holding himself back from something (add this to 11x11′s: follow your heart and all the heart / love themes of the early season right before Cas gets taken away and Dean spends the last half of the season desperately trying to get him back while Amara, all powerful being has to use Cas to get to Dean).

Season 12: Mary is the extension of Amara, she is the catalyst for Dean to finally face himself, all this has built and built to the point where, nearing 40 years of age he finally doesn’t want to sublimate anymore, he doesn’t want to hide. This post is my explanation for how Mary is exactly what he needed at this point, I think I wrote it mid season, but it was clear by 12x03 that this was her role and of course 12x22 was a great big wave hello and goodbye to Performing!Dean, another meta I wrote called “Dean Winchester is going to die” after 12x11 harked at the fact that this was coming and wasn’t it GLORIOUS?!

In his confrontation with Mary in 12x14 Dean essentially tells Mary that he thinks he deserves better, this is a huge deal for Dean - a HUGE deal for his self worth arc. He then in 12x22 addresses the fact that his upbringing wasn’t FAIR, that he didn’t cope well with it, that it has damaged him. He lets his wall down, he also literally blows down the walls of the bunker with the grenade launcher, the metaphorical taking down his walls, even Toni says it was a metaphor to hammer this home to us…

So yeah 10x16 is one of the key components throughout the years to show us that Dean’s story is all about his emotional journey to self acceptance of his softer side, the side that he hides by using the Performing!Dean facade, also he talks about people, feelings that he wants to experience differently to before or for the first time…  make of that what you will but for me…

In 10x14 just two episodes earlier we have: Dean choosing Cas over Crowley (to give the first blade to) right after a deleted scene in which Crowley and Cas have a whole conversation about Dean being CAS’s boyfriend rather than Crowleys, and Crowley telling Cas that he is running himself into the ground trying to save him, also Cain paralleling Cas with Colette after telling Dean he knows him.

Not long before that we had the burger date where Dean asked Cas to take him out if he got really bad with the MoC then there was the episode where they were heavily paralleled with a married couple where the wife had to let the husband go for fear of killing more people I mean, not to mention the whole Demon!Dean arc where Cas sacrificed himself to save Dean, where Dean knows it and seems to be… clearing a space on his bed but Cas is pulled away by Heaven again, I love this visual metaphor, where then Destiel is actually brought up on screen in 10x05…. you cannot tell me that…

Originally posted by foxylosu

So yeah, this scene in 10x16 is just part of the overall exposition for Dean’s emotional journey throughout the show, it’s a part of the intricately woven pattern of Performing!Dean and Destiel that alongside other aspects of his journey make up a large part of Dean’s overall self acceptance and self worth arc, with the Performing!Dean side climaxing in 12x22, we are just waiting for the second part now…