What's the most disgustingly sappy thing Leia and Fett have done for each other? What's the most heartless thing?
One time, early on in their marriage, Leia proposed taking a bath together. Fett was initially opposed by the whole idea, and pointed out that it was impractical, not to mention an ineffective way to get clean. The idea of taking a bath for pleasure or relaxation just wasn’t a thing in his life.
Leia talked him into it eventually, even though it took a ridiculous amount of coaxing and there was a lot of grumbling about the water temperature and the heavy scent of her bath salts. She got pretty annoyed with him, but she was determined to prove that she was right, so she rubbed his back and shoulders and encouraged him to lay back against her and eventually he relaxed.
He relaxed so much he fell asleep.
You can probably guess what happened next.
Fett claims to this day that attempted drowning is the most heartless thing she’s ever done to him, and Leia always counters that he was acting like a baby and deserved it.
There’s an actual explanation behind this: I quoted a line from a fic where Viktor suggested this song for Phichit to use in a program as a joke. Then my friend @kiazareni pointed out that this could actually work for Viktor for real. And then there was the realization of just how much this fits with @kazliin ‘s famous fic and I haven’t been the same person ever since, and I’m truly sorry.
ok but i love sjmaas books bc they appeal to my love for excessive drama
like aelin is the most dramatic character ever, she takes nothing in stride and is always exploding in anger or making grand gestures and being really excessively snarky or wearing some ridiculous outfit. like shes even dramatic when walking out of endovier and first meeting chaol like?? i love it.
and Rhysand is basically as dramatic as a theater kid in high school, like he’d always so emotionally charged and ready to perform and he’s highkey into romantic gestures and says things like “i want you splayed out on a table like a feast” and i just like…love it? like i dont want boring washed out characters i *need* everything to be as dramatic as an episode of drag race
and every scene in sarahs books is like *charged* w drama and emotion and fear and anger and even death and im just like YAAAAS BITCHES GIVE IT TO ME THIS IS BETTER THAN A REAL HOUSEWIVES DINNER PARTY.
like even manon blackbeak who is supposed to be a ruthless killer is so fucking dramatic like with elide “belonging” to the witches etc etc and her death threats at everyone like omg manon calm down except DONT EVER BC I LOVE IT
John and Rosie move into 221b and it’s like “wait only two bedrooms oh nooooo what shall we ever do? 👀” And Sherlock is a gentleman and offers John his bed and he will of course sleep on the couch and John says “don’t be ridiculous” and so it only makes sense for them to share a bed PLATONICALLY of course.
But then one night, after a few weeks of this arrangement, John is like “is this normal? I mean…do friends do this sort of thing?” And Sherlock says “I doubt it. But then, when have we ever been normal?” And looks over to John with a soft smile and John looks back and they both burst into giggles just like that first night.
And John closes the distance between them like it’s the most natural thing in the world, because it IS. Because it’s real and it fits and Sherlock makes a sound like he’s broken and the two of them kiss and kiss and kiss, like they’ve got all the time in the world. Because they do, now. They have that time.
And eventually Rosie cries on the baby monitor and John breaks the kiss to get her and Sherlock says “I’ll come with” and the two of them share sweet sipping kisses while tending to the baby and John says “You’re going to kill me! I’m trying to be a proper parent here,” and Sherlock shrugs and says “Rosie needs to get used to seeing us this way anyway” and John is like “Oi! I don’t really want our little girl to watch us make out.”
And Sherlock freezes and his eyes fill and he says “Our little girl?” And John realizes and his heart breaks a little and he and Rosie go into Sherlock’s arms and both clutch at him and John says “of course, yes, OURS” and if his voice wavers a little with unshed tears, Sherlock doesn’t mention it.
They hold each other like that until their daughter is sleeping soundly once more and they put her back in her crib and when they make love, it’s at the same unhurried pace that they kissed. Because they have the time now. They have forever.
listen i know i wanted slow burn but that scene was the single most perfect thing i have ever had the pleasure of watching in my entire life and i’m not gonna pretend i’m not so ridiculously happy right now i could die
maybe the most ridiculous thing harry ever did was leave figuring out the second task until it was literally the early hours of the morning before it took place and he was still in the library?? like the first task was literally to fight a dragon, if that doesn’t scare you out of procrastinating til the last minute i rly don’t know what will??? i have never related to him more
if i’m ever talking with u and i suddenly stop texting back, just know that i’m a mess and sometimes idk what to say, sometimes i get distracted by the most ridiculous things, and sometimes i write my answer but never push the Send button.
What about a fic where everyone is trying to prove they love Derek most and Stiles just goes ahead and buys a ring and proposes and Derek points out that that’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard (even if he has to stop himself from immediately saying yes) because they can’t just marry without dating, but Stiles’ heartbeat is as calm and steady as the situation allows and that’s the story of how they get engaged before they even really started dating
10 Of The Most Ridiculous Things Ever Said About Women In History
1. When Aristotle Said Women Are Defective Men
“The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities; we should regard the female nature as afflicted with a natural defectiveness.”
2. When St. Thomas Aquinas Said Women Are Sperm Accidents
“… A female is deficient and unintentionally caused. For the active power of the semen always seeks to produce a thing completely like itself, something male. So if a female is produced, this must be because the semen is weak or because the material [provided by the female parent] is unsuitable, or because of the action of some external factor such as the winds from the south which make the atmosphere humid.”
3. When Napoleon Said Women Are Just Slaves
“Nature intended women to be our slaves… they are our property; we are not theirs. They belong to us, just as a tree that bears fruit belongs to a gardener…. Women are nothing more than machines for producing children.”
4. When Cato The Elder Argued That All Women Are Wild Animals
“Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal, and it is useless to let go the reins and then expect her not to kick over the traces. You must keep her on a tight rein…. Women want total freedom or rather – to call things by their names – total licence. If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters.”
5. When Pliny The Elder Warned That Menstrual Blood Is Poisonous
“On the approach of a woman in this state, must will become sour, seeds which are touched by her become sterile, grafts wither away, garden plants are parched up, and the fruit will fall from the tree beneath which she sits. Her very look, even, will dim the brightness of mirrors, blunt the edge of steel, and take away the polish from ivory. A swarm of bees, if looked upon by her, will die immediately.”
6. When Plutarch Did Not Approve Of Independent Lady-Emotions
“A wife should have no feelings of her own, but share her husband’s seriousness and sport, his anxiety and his laughter.”
7. When Friedrich Nietzsche Was Basically Just Friedrich Nietzsche
“Finally – woman! One-half of mankind is weak, typically sick, changeable, inconstant – woman needs a religion of weakness that glorifies being weak, loving, being humbled as divine.”
8. When Jean-Jacques Rousseau Said Ladies Only Need To Be Taught About Men
“The whole education of women ought to be relative to men. To please them, to be useful to them, to make themselves loved and honored by them, to educate them when young, to care for them when grown, to council them, to console them, and to make life agreeable and sweet to them – these are the duties of women at all times, and should be taught them from their infancy.”
9. When Sigmund Freud Despaired Of Grown Ladies’ Sexuality
“The sexual life of adult women is a ‘dark continent’ for psychology.”
10. When James Joyce Was A Bit Of An Idiot
“Men are governed by lines of intellect – women: by curves of emotion.”
This is from Superman/Wonder Woman Annual #2 and the comic takes place in Pakistan
Instead of taking two seconds and googling the official language/languages of Pakistan, DC just. Made up their own word. How do u mess up so tremendously I honestly can’t believe this.