this is the most beautiful thing i've ever read omfg

2

“Heed thee the tale of Loki, fairest and finest of Asgard’s sons. In distant realms with too many consonants in their names, he came to the aid of the warrior Sigurd, who had got himself into a state of extreme fail with the sexy-dangerous Valkyries of Death! 

"Save me from the temptress-cannibals, mischievous one!” Sigurd cried.

So hither came Loki the mackable. Forsooth, he was smokin’. Indeed, so studly was he that the dire death maidens forgot Sigurd, and did beset Loki majorly. With great magicks, he drove back their keen attentions. But great magicks were not enough, for their make-out fu was strong.

Fortuitously, Loki the oh-so-fine had brought with him super-great magicks, and wove a spell like a boss that–“ 

-Loki

New Mutants #42