this is the last make me choose i had in my inbox

Surprise

Request: Can you do one where jughead cares about the reader and he’s worried about her with all the drama and the now murder in riverdale so he goes over to her house one night with some excuse to cover that hes really just worried about her and doesn’t want her alone

A/N: This is such a cute idea.  I think it’s so true to his character and I like it a lot.  Thanks for requesting and feel free to request other ideas in my inbox!

Word count: 1254

Warnings: Mentions of murder, anxiety, cursing

Originally posted by riverdalesource

There was something disturbing about dark and stormy nights.  When didn’t they go wrong?  They always did.  Sunny days?  Sure bad things happen, but not every time.  Every time it rains, it pours, and every time it pours, the darkness is absolute and the creaks in your house are never just the results of years of wear.  And thus, why you were hiding in your closet, clinging to a chilly aluminum bat as your only source of protection.  

Moments earlier, the storm had blown your door open, and there had been hard footsteps on the fake wooden slatted floors.  You had to clench the bat between your thighs for a moment, removing your hands so your quivering fingers wouldn’t clink against the hollow body.  You took as deep a breath as you could, trying to get the image of the hole in Jason Blossom’s head out of your own mind.  

Everyone in Riverdale who said they weren’t on edge after the discovery that Jason was murdered and not just taken by the currents were lying.  The air seemed colder and stiffer, no dead body correlations intended, however… this was the reality.  Somebody had been… murdered.  Anyone who carried on with business as usual, block party with the Joneses, couldn’t have a grain of brain, or at least in your opinion, couldn’t have a grain of brain.

A murder meant a murderer.  A murderer meant that someone who everyone knew was suddenly capable of killing anyone.  Especially if they had wanted to and succeeding in killing Jason Blossom.  You had certainly done worse to the community than Jason.  You stole from convenience stores during puberty, like everyone else.  And this acknowledgement that there was more reason to murder you than the person who was already dead and decaying sent your heart deeper and deeper into your stomach with each thudding footstep up your stairs.  

The creak of your bedroom door was accompanied by a soft whimper, which you soon realized, you had let out.

“Shit,” you whispered, feeling tears well in the corners of your eyes at the realization that every shaky breath you tried to inhale could be your last.  The intruder in your room murmured something, but the words were too low and you were too preoccupied trying to remember your seventh grade gym class lessons on self defense and if they had taught you how to be bulletproof to understand what was being said.  But before you knew it, the door to your closet was thrown open, the aluminum bat slipping from your weak grip on it and clattering to the floor with an echoing ring.  

“Y/N?” You looked up, making eye contact with the person who had, literally, broken into your house just a minute or so ago.

“Jughead?” You groaned, dropping your head to your hands.  Now that you realized that the only person in danger here right now was Jughead, whose neck you pictured in your grip as you tried to regulate your breathing.

“Are you okay?” You heard him lean down, his voice softer and closer to your face now.

“I thought you generally had an issue with people who asked questions they knew the answer to.” Jughead nodded to himself, lips pursed.  “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.  Thought I’d surprise you.”  A prominent snarl on your face, you looked up to him again.  Sarcastically he continued, “Surprise.” His eyebrows lifted in a friendly gesture, his blue eyes pools of comfort for you as he offered you his hand.  You took it, him lifting you to a standing position, grasping the bat and placing it back into your closet before closing it.  “Anything you want to talk about?  Maybe about why you were hiding in your closet?”

“Funny.” He raised his eyebrows in question.  “I thought you were some crazy murderer!” He cocked his head to the left, a look in his eyes that only said, really? “It’s not my fault you have the gait of a serial killer.”

“What is a serial killer gait?” He walked over to your window, looking at the rain falling outside.

“That!  That gait!”

He turned to you, leaning his head from one side to the other in thought.  “Do you have anything to eat?” It was your turn to act surprised, however, in all honesty, you were always certain of only one thing: Jughead would choose a cheeseburger over anybody.

“I don’t know.” Following behind him down the stairs to the kitchen.  “Haven’t been to the grocery store since you were here yesterday.”

“Oh!  There’s still leftover Pop’s in the fridge.” He pulled out two styrofoam containers from your fridge that you didn’t even know you had.  The oven beeped a little tune as he turned it on to reheat his food.

“Leftover?”

“Well, takeout.  From last night.”

“You have any onion rings?”

“Do you know who you’re speaking to?” You stared at him, deadpan. “Of course I got you onion rings.” He opened the smaller of the two takeout boxes, revealing a full pile of onion rings.

“Oh, just for me, huh?”

“No really do you even know who I am?” You rolled your eyes now.  “Of course I got more for myself than you.” You hummed in understanding, collapsing into a stool at the breakfast bar, the cool granite chilling you to your bones.  Shuddering, you lifted your head.  

“Jug?” He had left the kitchen for a second, returning a moment later with a blanket from the living room, wrapping it around your shoulders.  You moaned softly, tightening the plush throw around you and reveling in its warmth.  “Thank you.” He nodded.  Jughead had always been bad at the grandiose gestures, but you never questioned his love for you.  Especially with the little things, that in your mind always added up.  “Why’d you really stop by, Juggy?”

“I told you, you were on the way.” He insisted, turning away from your inquisitive gaze.  

“Mmhmm.” You made a quick pillow out of your arm wrapped in blanket, laying down.  “Scared me shitless, just ‘cause.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you like that,” he mumbled, finishing with a few more words you missed.

“Hm?”

“I said I didn’t mean to scare you,” he repeated.

“Well you did.  I think I peed myself a little.  And I cried.”

“You cried?” He asked.  “Well it’s good I came to check on you, then.”

“Aha!” You lifted your head sharply.  “You were worried about me.”

“No, you can take care of yourself.  I know you’re capable of that.” You nodded mockingly.  “Okay.  You’re home alone!  Someone was killed just a few months ago, yes I was worried about you.  It was dark and rainy and you were home all by yourself on a Friday night.  Figured checking up on you was better than not.”

“That’s real sweet, Jughead.” He swatted you away, turning back to the food that was slowly heating up in the oven.  You two stayed that way, in silence for a few minutes, before the loud ring of the timer disturbed the peace.  Your gaze, fixed on the marbled granite counter top, was soon consumed by the visual of a nearly disgusting portion of onion rings.  

“Soup’s on,” he joked wryly, sitting beside you.  You lifted your arm, engulfing him in the blanket too.  “Why thank you.”  And the two of you ate peacefully, the only sounds the drops of rain hitting the pavement outside.  

Maybe not all stormy nights were all bad.

Keep on Living (chapter 3) Lin Manuel x Reader

Part 3 is finally here and features a Very Angry Lin as requested, thanks to everyone for reading my very first Lin fic.  Part 4 will be up super soon!

Part 1 | Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: Your boyfriend is an abusive asshole and you’ve been trying to hide it from Lin and everyone else. After turning up to the Richard Rogers where you work with a black eye and bruised wrists you tell Pippa that you’ve been mugged, but you get the feeling that Lin seems to know what really happened. Lin gets over-protective and you end up feeling really confused. On a night out with with the girls you drunkenly admit to Pippa that you think Lin is cute, and Jasmine records a video messaged standing up to your unknown attacker.

(I’m an abuse survivor myself. Not all abuse is the same, and so this fic is not meant to be a universal experience.

To anyone that may be experiencing abuse then my inbox is always open and I will always believe you. Tell a friend or a relative if you are able to. And there are many support lines depending on your town/state/country, talking to someone helps. Stay safe.)

Warnings - I’m adding a trigger warning for some mentions of emotional and physical abuse.

Word count - 2226

———-

When you turn your phone on that morning it practically explodes in a flurry of messages.

Jasmine: Hey girl, I heard you called in sick today. Are you still really hungover?

Pippa: Are you ok? I heard you’re sick. Don’t worry, nobody has mentioned the video. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Lin: Apparently you aren’t coming in today so I don’t get to see you? AWFUL! Feel better, we all miss you. I hope you’re ok X

Lin: Dr Miranda prescribes hot sweet tea, a blanket fort, and The Little Mermaid. Take care of yourself please xxx

Lin: If you need anything let me know. I’m gonna be near your apartment today and I can bring round supplies.

Lin: Hey I’m on your block, do you need anything?

Lin: Are you ok? I don’t think you’re ok.

You throw your phone down on the bed. It’s the first time you’ve switched it on in 48 hours since you called Alex and told him you weren’t well enough to come to work. You’re honestly amazed that you still have friends with how anti-social you are being at the moment, but you haven’t been able to face anyone.

You’re surprised that none of Lin’s messages comment on the video Jasmine put on twitter a few nights ago. A video of you drunkenly admitting he was cute, but you’re thankful that he’s choosing to ignore that. Or maybe he never even saw the full video since Pippa took it down straight away.

You head into the theater that morning, grateful that the bruising on your face from last week is now fading. You draw less attention as you walk down the halls now. Lying about a fake mugging had made you feel so uneasy and you were relieved that you could make it to the office you shared with Alex without having to stop and talk about it.

“Hey Y/N , we didn’t expect to see you today!” Alex called cheerfully as you headed into the office. Lin was sitting on the beat up sofa, his laptop in front of him. He jumped up from the sofa, seeming surprised by your presence.

“You’re alive!” He grinned coming over to meet you. He hesitated for second, and there was a moment of awkwardness before he smiled and pulled you into a hug. “We missed you” He said, giving you a squeeze and you held your breath.

“Yeah, I can see!” You said dumping your bag down on the desk and eyeing the pile of paperwork awaiting your attention. “Aww Alex, you shouldn’t have!”

“Oops, yeah sorry about that.” Alex said as he quickly cleared another pile of papers from your chair for you to sit on. “We’ve got 8 new chorus members starting rehearsals on Monday and so the paperwork is sorta piling up.”

“Nah it’s fine” You shrugged, “I’m honestly just so happy to be back, I was getting cabin fever cooped up at home, it was driving me crazy.”

“Oh so that’s why you were ignoring my messages then?” Lin teased.

“Oh, god I’m sorry, I had my phone switched off, I was too sick to focus on a screen.” You were so used to lying now, you were surprised at how naturally it came to you.

“I dropped round a couple of times to see you. Mark said you didn’t want any visitors but I thought I’d keep trying.” Lin’s eyes darkened slightly and he looked at you as though he was trying to figure something out.

“Oh sorry, um yeah, I guess I must have been really out of it. I’m sorry” You once again found yourself unable to make eye contact with him as you deflected his concern. “You didn’t miss much much tho, just a sweatier sicklier me drowning in a sea of tissues and cough syrup, you dodged a bullet there.” You grinned weakly.

Lin’s eyes softened as he accepted your lie and he clapped his hands, snapping you out of the awkwardness.

“Well! Since you’ve been ignoring me, Me and Lac have been hatching a plan for Ham 4 Ham today. You in?”

Alex chuckled to himself “Don’t say yes to anything until he’s told you his plans.” He gathered his folders from his desk and headed out, leaving you alone with an over excited Lin.

“Ignore him.” Lin grinned, “You’re gonna love this. Or maybe you’ll hate this, I don’t know.”

You rolled your eyes and prepared for the worst. Your afternoons were often filled with vetting Lin’s ideas for new Ham4Ham shows. Some of which were brilliant, some of which were not, and thankfully between you and Alex, you could try and steer Lin in the right direction.

“Ok, so how well do you know Backstreet Boys?”

You laughed so hard you actually snorted. You held your hand up to your mouth, still laughing. “I’m sorry, that was NOT what I was expecting you to say at all”

Lin raised his eyebrows in mock indignation. “ I would NEVER joke about the Backstreet Boys” he exclaimed.

Lin went on to explain his idea for staging a performance of Backstreet’s Back complete with choreography for this afternoon’s Ham4Ham.

“Look, if you need me to show you the moves then all you had to do is ask” you laughed

“Ha! You know I love the fact that you spent all of senior year practicing Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation in your bedroom, I’m not doubting your skills, but we had a run through yesterday and I think we’re gonna be ok.” He chided while biting his lip.

The fact that he’d remembered your high school Janet Jackson obsession made you beam. It was something you’d geekily admitted on your very first day in rehearsals with him. Why? Because being around Lin brought out embarrassing admissions of your geeky obsessions, and he never mocked. His eyes had grown big and his face lit up in excitement and and he’d waved his arms in the air exclaiming “Me too!”. And from that moment onwards you knew you were in the right place. The fact that he’d remembered this little detail strangely gave you butterflies and you smiled to yourself.

You held your hands up “Ok ok, so you don’t need my dancing skills then.”

“No but we do need some accompaniment” Lin smiled.

“Fine!” You said, secretly happy to have something more fun to work on than the piles of paperwork Alex had left for you.

“I’ll get the melodica, hey give me a hand will you?”

You gestured up to a crate on the top of the bookshelves in your office marked ‘Ham4Ham gear.’ The crate was full of toy musical instruments, a set of megaphones, props, and some bits of costumes. It had become more of a lost and found box of novelty items which Lin and Alex added to weekly, as each Ham4Ham got more adventurous and silly.

You pulled over a chair to stand on which wobbled. Lin grabbed the chair to hold it in place as you climbed up.

“Shit!”

The chair immediately swayed and Lin put his other hand out holding your waist to stop you falling off. You gasped, not expecting his hands, you flinched slightly and wondered if Lin had noticed.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,thanks. Sorry this chair is a piece of shit” you laughed nervously. You noticed his hand remained on your waist. Your skin tingled and you swallowed nervously.

You stretched out your arm trying to grab the crate which was just out of reach when Lin yelled “Fuck!”.

Lin’s hands had disappeared from your waist and you looked down at him, his eyes were wild, and he stepped back from the chair. He was staring at you. Staring at your waist. You looked down and noticed your shirt had ridden up above your stomach as you’d reached up. You quickly pulled down your shirt and stepped down from the chair. It was too late. He’d seen it.

“Fuck!” Lin said, this time in a whisper.

You looked at the floor. You couldn’t look at him. No, no, no. Not now. 

“Show me.” Lin said, breathlessly. He was still staring at your waist.

“Lin, please, I can’t.” You shook your head in a panic.

He looked up at you, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth tensed. “Show me” He commanded.

You gulped, it’s like you had forgotten how to breathe. His eyes never left yours and there was nothing left for you to do but show him.

Slowly you reached down, grabbing the corner of your shirt, nervously pulling it up to reveal your stomach and looking away. Lin gasped, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

Your stomach was blue and purple. An enormous bruise covered your belly, your waist and stretched round to your back. The bruise on your face from the previous week had faded, this was brand new, shiny, and dark.

You forced yourself to look at Lin who was still studying your skin in shock, you felt naked and exposed and you pulled your shirt down. Lin still stared at your waist through your clothes, unable to look away. Wispy strands of hair had fallen loose from his pontytail and hung in his eyes, you noticed his arms were locked by his side, his hands gripped tightly into fists.

“It wasn’t a mugging was it?” He said quietly

You shook your head, tears in your eyes and you tried to hold yourself together. You’d been trying not to fall apart all week, but you could feel yourself on the verge of unravelling.

“Who did this?” Lin asked, his mouth open in shock, his eyes set in anger, He already knew.

“I can’t.. Please I can’t do this now.”

“Who did this?” He asked again, his face darkened like thunder.

You couldn’t speak. You could barely breathe. You reached out to hold the chair to steady yourself.

“It was Mark wasn’t it?” Lin’s voice cracked.

You swallowed hard and closed your eyes. You nodded your head and a tear slipped down your cheek.

“Fuck.” Lin whispered.

“Lin I’m sorry, I couldn’t.. I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I’m sorry…”

Lin cut you off, he started shaking his head, pushing back his hair into his messy ponytail with both hands. His eyes were wild and he began muttering under his breath, violently spitting out a rapid mixture of English and Spanish, the hatred and anger flashing across his face.

“Fuck. Fucking motherfucker! No I’m gonna kill him…Hijo de puta…Mark es un maldito cabron…I fucking knew it!…Voy a matarlo… Hijo de la gran puta… Es una mierda!”

“Lin, please!” You begged, biting back tears and trying not to lose it.

Your voice brought him back and he stopped to look at you. He saw the panic in your face and the tears you’d tried so hard to keep in now falling freely down your cheeks and he took a breath.

“I’m sorry” He said shaking his head, his eyes softened realizing how scared you looked. “I’m sorry.”

He wrapped his arms around you, placing his hand gently on the back of your head and you finally allowed yourself to fall apart. Your face pressed into his shoulder and you sobbed, and you felt like you wouldn’t stop. He stroked your hair, holding you together.

“It’s ok, it’s ok, que sepas que estoy aquí “ he said in a soft soothing voice. It was a while before you could breathe. You steadied yourself and pulled away, embarrassed by the damp patch you’d left on his hoodie. You reached out for the chair to sit down while Lin grabbed you a box of tissues from the desk.

“You knew didn’t you?” You asked after a deep breath.

Lin puffed his cheeks and sighed while shaking his head.

“I don’t know… I thought I knew. I mean, I didn’t want to believe it. I just knew something was wrong. I knew there was more to the mugging but I didn’t know what, and I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.”

“He told me nobody would believe me if I tried to tell anyone what he’d done. He said I deserved it. He said…” Your voice broke, you weren’t ready to go into detail yet.

Lin knelt down in front of you, placing one hand over yours, and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ears as he spoke.

“You did not deserve this. I believe you.” He spoke slowly and gently. There was still a rage behind his eyes, but his voice was calm and soothing. You stared blankly at him. You didn’t have words. You smiled faintly and nodded.

“All this because of that stupid video” You muttered.

Lin looked at you puzzled.

“Jasmine uploaded this dumb video of us from the other night. We were drunk. In the video she basically recorded this big fuck you message to whoever attacked me. Mark said we were laughing at him, that we humiliated him and…”

You trailed off, leaving out the part where Mark had also seen you drunkenly admit on camera that you thought Lin was cute. How he’d called you a slut and a whore that evening, how he’d told you this was your punishment.

Lin begain muttering under his breath in Spanish again “…Hijo de puta” His face hardened and he shook his head, clutching your hand tighter.

“You did not deserve this.” He repeated, his voice firm and his eyes darkened.

You nodded silently and he gently traced small circles with his thumb across your hands.

You sniffed and wiped your eyes, breathing deep and trying to focus.

“Alex is gonna be back soon, I’ve got to get it together.”

You stood up and flattened down your hair. You needed to slip back into the role of someone who has their shit together. Even if it was just for a day.

“Y/N I don’t think you should be at work, this is too much.”

“No this is exactly what I need right now, I need to keep busy, I need to work, I need to not think about this for a day.”

Lin sighed, scraping back more strands of hair from his face. “Ok. But we haven’t finished talking about this yet, and you aren’t going home tonight.”

Panic flashed in your eyes. “If I don’t go home tonight he’ll know something is wrong. He’ll kill me! I think he’ll actually kill me.” Your voice sounded small, you barely recognized yourself.

“No.” He said with a resigned look in his eyes. “You’re coming home with me tonight. You are safe. He’s not coming near you again. I promise.”

———-

Part 4 is coming soon here! and then I’m gonna write some smut, I swear!

◆ —— SHAMELESS (US) QUOTES STARTER PROMPTS.

PART. 2 [TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD]

  • When did you start to care? 
  • I’ve dreamt about your death; put money in a collection box and prayed for it; blew out my birthday candles, wished for it. If it actually ever happened, I’m not sure I’d feel relief or guilt.
  • What if I don’t want to change?
  • Don’t what? 
  • You’re a fucking pussy. 
  • You look like a baby rabbit when you sleep.
  • You’re getting careless. Don’t.
  • I just assumed we’d eventually decide how to move together like normal couples do.
  • But there never was a ‘we’.
  • People fuck up, that’s life.
  • Family is supposed to be forever. They’re supposed to take care of you, regardless of what you do. 
  • Please don’t be the guy that lies. 
  • I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. No need for any more character. 
  • I need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical and my money’s been on you. 
  • Anyone who’s been married knows that sex is downhill from there. 
  • Big toe is throbbing like blueballs that no blowjob can ever fix. 
  • She’s a skanky, manipulative bitch and you should unfriend her. 
  • The porn at my desk isn’t really porn. It was pictures of penises, but it was from a circumsision website. 
  • I’ve seen crazy and I’ve seen bad for kids. You aren’t either of those things.
  • Don’t forget to check for hair behind the grill. 
  • I realize you’ve had sketchy parental role models, but can we agree that offing people is not cool? 
  • That turned me off, periscope down. 
  • I want normal people problems. 
  • When you tried to get me to be intimate with three of your friends, it made me feel sad. 
  • So, thanks to me, you’ve been pistol whipped and shot in the ass. 
  • Alcohol is a gift.
  • All I’m gonna be thinking about when you choke me out is how much I love you. 
  • If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard you say that, I’d have one dime. 
  • I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. 
  • I know you think you’re helping, but as someone who has been in and out of the system care my entire life, I can tell you it’s a nightmare. 
  • I wasn’t sure I’d see you again. 
  • Nobody fucks with the [insert last name]
  • You buried a body and you stole from the federal government. You will never get out of prison. 
  • We could always adopt.
  • Girls take that hero stuff straight to the bank. 
  • The whole 'my dad is gay for your brother’ thing has thrown me outta loop. 
  • Giving or receiving? 
  • Doing things you don’t wanna do is how you make a relationship work. 
  • I know school was never your thing, but you’ve never been dumb. 
  • Asking him to pick me over them is asking me to change the thing I love most about him. 
  • She is a crazy bitch and not crazy bitch like you’re a crazy bitch. 
  • She once tried to beat me to death with a frozen fish because I asked for more broccoli. 
  • Kick ass, take names.. and don’t blow anyone. 
  • When you’re poor, the only way to make money is to scam it or steal it. 
  • You get along a lot better with a weapon and a kind word, than a kind word alone. 
  • If I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. 
  • My baby was stolen by my mom and her developmentally delayed boyfriend. 
  • He’s not my boyfriend. 
  • It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. 
  • I’m not going to let you throw him out like used Kleenex. 
  • She’s fragile.
  • She’s broken. 
  • I don’t wanna be me anymore. 
  • An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? 
  • You gotta get me out of this car, I’m getting too horned up. 
  • I’m sorry, but now I gotta go pick up my wife’s boyfriend. 
  • Sometimes it’s not worth holding out. Life’s too short, why not just give in? 
  • Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? 
  • I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. 
  • Your mother was a real cunt. 
  • Circle doesn’t start with an S? What the fuck? 
  • Sometimes when I see the word hospice on the street, I pronounce it ho-spice. 
  • You’re lucky your moms dead. 
  • I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things and all 50 were when I was drunk. 
  • My testicles have never been my ally. 
  • Go fuck yourself. 
  • Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. 
  • I’m sick of living in your shadow. 
  • I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. 
  • She said she had some personal business. I change her diaper, what’s more personal than that? 
  • How can you be so cold about this? 
  • Just for the record, a lot of great men have been well-lubricated. 
  • I’m not the reason your life is a piece of crap.
  • Your coochie smells like brimestone and Sulfur. 
  • One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck someone else when we’re on a date. 
  • You married a drug lord’s daughter to hang on to your ear? 
  • I don’t take bribes. 
  • Honey, you’re an alcoholic. 
  • Where can I get knives and blunts? 
  • You can’t control what goes on in the world. You can just choose to be a part of it everyday. 
  • Where I come from, it’s an honour to share your man. 
  • I’m gonna beat your ass like a pinata until candy falls out! 
  • You don’t love me.
  • You’re kinda growing on me. 
  • Dead people poop themselves. 
  • Where’s the money? 
  • It doesn’t make you a kept woman, it makes you a smart one. 
  • I’ll keep that in mind when I’m feeding my family dog food this winter. 
  • I can’t share a room with someone in constant state of arousal! 
  • Look at me. I can’t go to jail, I might as well wear heels. 
  • I’m gay. 
  • You just made my boy parts get bigger. 
  • Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. 
  • Eat my ass!
  • Wanna see me make a mangina? 
  • You fucked my brother. 
  • Whores don’t get cars. 
  • I wouldn’t exactly call it an orgy, but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around. 
  • You wish you had a dick as big as mine! 
  • Are you gonna put those in my ass? 
  • If you do this for me, I will dress up any way you want. No safety word. 
  • I was raised by a pack of wolves. 
  • I certainly hope you’re not pooping in there. It’s a closet. 
  • Can I get you something? Milk? Soda? A joint? It’s medicinal. 
  • Like you in the sack, make it quick. 
  • Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? 
  • No. No way. I can’t handle anything in my ass without alcohol. 
  • The beard gets me laid. 
  • I haven’t had a drink for two days. Well, granted, I was unconscious. 
  • You’re hot, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with a dude. 
  • He was warm, like the inner thighs of an overworked hooker. 
  • He may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. 
  • Let’s be honest, she’s my last chance at happiness, and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? 
  • I am not a religious man, but every now and then, a child comes along who makes me believe in the existence of Satan. 
  • I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you. 
  • Keep laughing, or I will slit your throat in your sleep. 
  • Brush your teeth, I wanna play. 
  • Other than the presents and the booze, can you tell me three good reasons we should get married? 
  • Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. 
  • Well, if you need me, I’ll be in the bushes across the street stalking you.

anonymous asked:

could you rec some of your favorite fandom writers for me please? I trust your insight and don't know where to start! thank you ^__^

of course!

and this list is my opinion so it absolutely does not mean that these writers are the best, just my personal favourites!

@theweddingofthefoxes/ ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - For Amateurs and Teenagers
- Hux always faints after orgasm. He can’t even masturbate without passing out- the one time he had a wank in the shower he nearly drowned. He tries to resist falling for Kylo but couldn’t help it. Now he either insists on handjobs and oral, or he fights off his orgasm during sex. Kylo tries ever trick he knows to break him. When he finally does there’s a ridiculous amount of semen & an unconscious General. Hux wakes expecting to be mocked but instead is treated kindly, then made to come again.

@moonwalkingcrab / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Friends With Renefits
- The Rules: 1. Just sex, no feelings. 2. The arrangement lasts as long as is beneficial. 3. Either party can choose to end the arrangement, no questions asked. 4. No kissing.

@rannystuffandthings / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Sharpshooter
- When Snoke sends Hux on a secret mission Kylo learns something new about the General he assumed had no military training except for the studies he did in books. It draws them closer together and Kylo thinks they’d make an unstoppable team. But fate has other plans for them.

@penpenhooray / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Wake Up, Sleeper
- It would seem odd that the Resistance should always seem to get their information just a bit faster than the First Order. Of course, General Leia Organa knows the risks her mole is taking by sending her life saving information.Luke was confident in his padawan’s ability to infiltrate the First Order to destroy it from the inside, and he trusted his pupil’s instincts.And Hux? Well, he’s spent over a decade as a sleeper agent within the bowels of the First Order when he feels an awakening in the Force, and he’s decided it’s time to begin the destruction of the First Order. And he’s going to bring Ben back to the Light if it’s the last thing he does.

@creepycreepyspacewizard​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - To Sleep, Perchance
- Brendol Hux isn’t quite what he seems. When Kylo Ren accidentally infects him with Dantari Flu the fever brings all of the General’s secrets into the light, including one that he didn’t know about himself…

@symphorophilian / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Inaniloquent
- Trashy, murderous douchebag Kylo walks in on his haughty, hacker cellmate Hux jacking it. Then they fuck.

@agent-nemesis / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Knocked Up
- “Are you ready?” Kylo asks Hux stupidly, realising the question is more directed at himself. Hux answers with a cry, and then his panic rises again. Kylo hunches over him, cocooning him protectively. “You can do this,” he whispers. “I know you can do this.” “I can’t,” Hux whimpers, shaking his head. “They’re too big. I can’t.” “You’re a general of the First Order,” Kylo says softly in his ear. “The General. The strongest man I know. You can do this.”

@redcole / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Following Orders
- Snoke decides that Kylo needs to produce an heir so they can continue his line and Hux finds himself lined up as the other father.

@jinxedambitions​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Reconditioning
- Ben Solo is one of the FBI’s most promising young agents.  While he’s had a few disciplinary hiccups, he’s intelligent and not afraid to do what needs to be done. (full summary on fic!)

@tokyotheglaive / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Ad Infinitum
- Hux and Ren were not soulmates. (But just once, they came close.)

@ellstra​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Carpet Burns
- Hux’s fascination with Imperial officers is not only professional. Kylo decides Hux deserves to relieve the pressure of command for once, and buys an Imperial uniform from Space ebay™

@badspacebabies / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Aletheia
- “What have you been doing to me?” Hux hisses. His voice is like static: the low hum of fear and the pitchy crackle of desire. “Everything,” says Ren.

@reserve / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Aletheia
- “What have you been doing to me?” Hux hisses. His voice is like static: the low hum of fear and the pitchy crackle of desire. “Everything,” says Ren.

@glass-oceans / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Lead Us Not Into Temptation
- Father Kylo Ren hears a confession that takes an unexpected turn.

@theearlgreyalpha​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - So Soft (And So Terrible)
- General Hux realizes that maybe he’s capable of being a little compassionate after all, when Kylo Ren winds up in his doorway in the middle of the night.

@cracktheglasses / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - disobedient
- There’s a reason Hux doesn’t have a real pet. Why he’s hired Kylo to play the role. Calm obedience is not what Hux wants or needs, no matter the instructions he’s doled out.

@agoodflyting / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Reputation
- Kylo finds out Hux is an omega. Functionally it makes no difference – everybody in the FO takes hormone control – but every so often medical deems fit to have someone go through a rut/heat.

@cosleia / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Bombshell
- Department store employee Ben Organa learns something new about the gorgeous redhead who always requests his help selecting lingerie.

happy reading!

Since I am at my last level with the frak Goy are giving Gal Gadot with her being in the IDF especially today let me the Jewish Person Educate you before you drag her in the mud.

1) Israel has been always been an important part of our culture and our religion. It is the foreground of our founding. It is considered the promised land the holy center of Jewish Culture…basically, just like Mecca is the center of Muslim Faith, Israel is the center of Jewish faith. So Naturally, because Israel is our Holy Land, almost every Jew including Gal Gadot and myself is going to probably support the safety and well being of Israel.

2) Israel was created because a jackass named Adolf Hitler decided to systematically terminate us one by one  We were killed by the Millions and those still alive were fucked up by it for the rest of their lives. Many of us tried to run and were turned away leaving of this and left to die. [EDIT: we also faced discrimination in other countries which even drove us out] Because of this The UN created this nation so let’s say Trump gets impeached and God-Fearing-Mike Pence becomes our president and Pence’s wrath turns out to extend to Jews. Israel will be there for people to run to god forbid we have another Shoah.So again, knowing the world is a scary place, having somewhere to run to makes us Jewish people feel better

3) Israel is a small country. Like even New York has more people than Israel and from the beginning of the Country’s inception, anti semetic hatred had fueled wars. It is because of this Israel cannot afford the luxury of having a volunteer Army. It is because of this EVERY SINGLE ISRAELI CITIZEN MUST SERVE AT LEAST 3 YEARS IN THE ARMY FROM THE TIME THEY ARE 18. Some Israelis who immigrate to other countries choose not to, but it means if they travel to Israel they have a limit before they are automaticly enlisted. Therefore Gal Gadot did not go to the army by choice. Even if she did, some of your favorite Actors: Adam Driver, Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones and LEONARD NIMOY were part of the US Army, who had been bombing the shit out of Middle Eastern and Asian Countries for years, BY CHOICE! Why do these male US Soldiers get a free pass and Gal Gadot who was required by Law doesn’t? Oh let me think -cough Antisemtism-cough–cough-

Also not all Israelis once they do their required training are shipped off to war during their service. On my birthright trip we had some soldiers join us as part of the program, one was a doctor, another trained other soldiers, hell ONE OF THE WOMEN WAS A SOCIAL WORKER IN A PRISON HELPING OTHERS GET BACK ON THEIR FEET. So Millitary doesn’t necessarily mean killing people! It means helping other citizens. Gal Gadot could have never seen the battlefield for all we know!

and fourth and Finally

4) I am not sure Gal Gadot straight up said this, but while I admit I have a family memember who is racist as hell, but we don’t want people dying in the crossfire between this endless and bloody war. Just like we know the size of ISIS is compared to the size of a tiny pebble to the worldwide Muslim population and therefore doesn’t reflect Muslims as a whole, alot of us don’t believe Palestine should be condemned for the actions of Hamas. Hell it breaks my heart there are innocent victims dying on both sides and everyone has to grow up in such war. At this point I dont care if Israel and Palestine combines into a super country as long as my people still can visit our holy sites and we have a safe place to go if the goy attack. Basically the point of this is final point is not all of us want to kill everyone when we say good things about Israel, we want peace and safety for the people in the Gaza as much as you do. And Gal Gadot i think said she wanted peace and the killing to stop as well.

Anyway I hope this post coming from an actual Jewish person will help educate you and understand before you drag Gal in the mud. And honestly, I don’t care if I lose followers over this, I tried and I educated and thats all that matters to me.

If you have any questions feel free to come to my inbox, I am always welcomed to statements and questions as long as long as I dont get “YOU MURDEROUS SWINE“ comment [that’s totally unkosher -drumsnare-]

Shalom and have a blessed day.

Girl, I guess {TVD 8x16 Review}

OK guys, this is the last time I will have to warn the TVD fandom about writing in real time! Here it goes: You all know the drill, I write my thoughts in real time which means if I make any mistakes at the beginning of my review, I might have rectified them at the end. This will include: anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. It will most likely reference other TV shows including Kdramas and may include observations of the show’s anti-blackness and racism. Are you ready? Let’s. Go. 

1. That SC kiss is still awful. Slow-mo it all you want guys, it’s just going to accentuate how awful it was.

2. Kinda salty that the hotel’s wifi isn’t much better than the data on my phone.

3. Seriously, Vicki and Kelly being in hell makes no sense.

4. “The magic was too much for her” HOW THOUGH? Bonnie did way more strenuous magic in freaking season 2. LIKE?

5. “No no no no no”, Stefan is panicking that Bonnie might be dead and Caroline’s just like, Oh. I know we all talk about how Paul has checked out but what the fuck has Candice been doing?

6. So like why is Elena in a random ass wood in a random ass white bed? Is this what Bonnie’s world looks like? Because I thought it was a rundown Mystic Grill.

7. Nina’s wig is AWFUL.

8. How would Elena seeing Bonnie make Elena think Bonnie is dead though? Like, isn’t it just that if Bonnie dies, Elena wakes up? Who said anything about meeting each other in a random ass forest before Bonnie dies?

9. So Elena doesn’t even blink an eye when Bonnie tells her “I can be with Enzo now”? Like she just accepts that her friend is going to die to be with someone who was an enemy when Elena was awake?

10. How does Enzo have the power to bring Bonnie back to life? Is Enzo an angel? LIKE? Rules DO need to exist, Julie.

11. The look of relief on Stefan’s face when Bonnie wakes up is so nice to see.

12. Vicki, stop talking. I also like how no one has tried to tie her up to keep her from ringing the bell. Just because you can’t kill her doesn’t mean you can’t contain her.

13. “I can’t go back there, you don’t know what it’s like” because the show literally hasn’t shown us anything.

14. How predictable is it that the DE reunion is really a DK reunion, oh! Like season 1 when he thought he was kissing Elena! CLEVER. Like 100 anons came into in my inbox like, I bet it’s Katherine, the moment that reunion aired. Well, at least Damon realized it was Katherine this time, you know, after hugging her and being all, “You’re both OK.”

15. It is so tacky they made her say, “Hello brothers.” Like omg, why isn’t it over yet

16. So Katherine is in Elena’s dress. Is Elena just naked somewhere? And she straightened her hair, like how much time did she have to do this?

17. “Her PHYSICAL body” I do miss seeing Paul and Nina onscreen together again, that “so over it” attitude is very reminiscent of season 2 and the delivery was hilarious.

18. Although this Katherine is a little off, she actually seems a little more unhinged, like the way Nina says, “the devil” in that tone and “Why do you think he wanted you? Because I  wanted you. DUH.” Like this is probably the first time I’ve been like so you’re crazy.

19. I don’t know why but Stefan is making me laugh so far. Damon is all “Dammit Katherine” and Stefan’s HAD IT, he’s just like YO let me stab this bitch “We gotta find, Elena, let’s go” and he LEAVES. Like he’s ready to go into battle. It also makes me feel like it’s Paul rushing to finish a scene like, “It’s the last episode, Ian, let’s GO.”

20. CAROLINE. VAMP SPEED. Walking down the stairs with a teddybear all chill and shit.

21. This is so low energy, Alaric and Caroline should be yelling at the top of their lungs, like if you want me to believe this is life or death then the characters needs to be amped, they need to be scared and frenzied, this feels like any other fight in any other episode.

22. Alaric, seriously, demote Caroline to Auntie because that’s how she acts with those twins anyway.

23. At least Katherine took the time to dress Elena in a shirt, a cardigan and jeans. It’s very thoughtful of her.

24. Me at Stefan’s face when he sees Elena on the ground:

25. So Katherine’s hair is suddenly curly again? Does she have superpowers?

26. Oh great. The fact that Katherine said Elena would choose Stefan over Damon just confirms that Elena will in fact choose Damon over Stefan. Just had to spit in the SErs’ faces one last time, I guess.

27. Lol watch Katherine actually be Silas getting into everyone’s heads and voicing their deepest fears. Again.

28. I want to feel something about this SC scene but I’m legit bored. “Please, please don’t make me leave you, please,” was sweet. That’s about it.

29. Like I’ve seen Stefan emotionally distraught at having to part ways with Elena:

and I know SErs are upset over the “I love you so much” but it’s not this:

30. It really doesn’t feel like the “world” is coming to an end, everyone is actually pretty chill. Like the season 2 finale of Buffy was the world ending (again) and everyone is freaking the fuck out:

and this is just like, Elena is unconscious, Matt allows Vicki to ring a bell that will bring hellfire and there’s the slowest evacuation in the world. We don’t even see randoms freaking out in the street. Whatever.

31. Of course Bonnie is staying behind.

32. “Downtown Mystic Falls”, I mean I guess. As the crow flies? WHO WROTE THIS. You are NOT in Lord of the Rings.

33. So I’m confused about this plan, Bonnie is going to redirect hell fire through the tunnels away from MF into hell … so these tunnels lead into hell? Bonnie knows where hell is? The fire won’t destroy the tunnels?

34. Aw, Paul is acting! But yeah his speech to Damon is meh because Damon doesn’t deserve shit.

35. Considering that vampire blood can’t work on people who have ingested the cure, why would compulsion?

36. Why would I care about a Donovan family reunion?

37. So Grams is still around even though the Other Side is gone?

38. Bonnie pulled a Gandalf. “You shall not pass.”

39. Sorry, it was supposed to be a powerful scene but like nah.

40. So a bunch of black women who I’m guessing are the Bennett clan are pushing the hell fire away to protect a town that does not acknowledge their existence. Mmkay.

41. “He’s the better man, he’s the right man.” LOL EXCEPT NOT. HOW? Because he was FINALLY willing to sacrifice himself after almost two centuries?

42. He probably whispered something about loving Caroline to Elena.

43. I feel like I’m supposed to be sad that Stefan is dead but like I’ve seen this coming for a while.

44. LOL Magic School/Hogwarts where Jeremy teaches, this is SO BAD.

45. I’m sorry but these “peaces” just look like individual prison worlds.

What an AWFUL series finale, like it was SO BAD. I can’t even, I mean it’s laughably bad but like THIS is how you’re ending a supernatural series? WHAT DID I JUST WATCH? Nothing happened! Stefan sacrifices himself to make sure Katherine’s in hell when the fire comes but he dies when the fire goes through the tunnels so why wouldn’t Katherine just be dead if they kept her tied down in the tunnels when the fire came? And then Caroline and Alaric open a boarding school for magical kids in which Jeremy teaches for absolutely no reason and Klaus is a donor because why not and Vicki finally achieves nothingness except nothingness is peace with Tyler somewhere even though Tyler basically treated her like trash and the Other Side is gone so how they’re still watching the living is beyond me. And then Bonnie travels the world and that somehow makes her happy as if she hadn’t traveled before. Matt got a bench, good for you Matt. And Elena goes to med school and has a happy life with Damon we don’t see and then they die and each of them spend their peace not with each other and it ends. Like … why tho? How does this make sense as ending? I should’ve been drunk for this. Plus side is, Stefan has still only called Elena the love of his life.

there won’t ever be a character that will continue to devastate me at a visceral subatomic level like raven reyes. last episode (4x03) just highlighted, once again, how much i love her and how excited i am to see her arc unfold in the future, because she has so much more story to tell than people initially believed.

it takes raven a few emotionally tortured moments/scenes to get to the point where her heart bursts open and she decides to change the game for herself, but it’s so nice to see (even if heartbreaking) that she is someone who feels everything with her entire being nonetheless, because yes, raven isn’t a stone-cold, ruthless, inhuman girl who makes “wrong choices” (she had a point after all and she acted her choice out in connection to that information). people seem to forget that she is someone who understands pain and loss, too - always has and always will - and you see through her heart in more than one occasion. she enters leadership with a very measured and dedicated goal - save their people - but much sooner than later she realizes what the cost of life and death actually means (especially since she makes the call), and how you start to go through your life in connection to the decision you’ve made, carrying the burden.

it’s so similar to what bellamy had been through in 4x02.

the way she approches leadership with her head first shows how much of a natural and amazingly, hypertalented woman she is, especially in the department of science. she does most of the technical work, and she is extremely good at it. but then you also see the sheer contrasting cut from her head as soon as her heart is involved, because raven is someone who is heavily connected to the heart. throughout the episode she is a bundle of neuroses, and by the end she not just experiences something for herself, but we enter a new direction in her arc that also affects how she deals with others from now on.

one of the most notable moments is this one:

yes, the scene in which adria dies in luna’s arms is the one that forces raven’s head to flare, because as much as she has been right about the medicine, it’s clear that - in that hard-hitting moment - she wishes it actually had worked to save adria’s life. but this scene right here (see caps above) is the one that hits me the most, because there is so much maturity in raven’s decision to stay in medical after that first-hand experience. not just as a leader, but as a person.

the camera clearly spends time to focus on the dead grounders. already wrapped up and all, and it also shows who was there with them until they died - abby, nyko, luna and raven. and here is my deal with the entire sequence:

adria is luna’s child (not literal), and luna is not raven’s friend (i hope that will change soon), but raven chooses to owe responsibility to her previous decision and be there for the infected people; decides to barrel herself right into a series of brutal first-hand experiences (everyone dies except for luna); pulls herself together to help. raven, pretty much like abby, or nyko, shares the sadness for others here, but instead of going back to work (that passion is shakeble for her after all) she lets herself be stripped from a certain innocence she used to have in the beginning of the ep, when she called “the decision between who gets to live and die” clarke’s speciality, and feels the full force of loss and leadership. she doesn’t close herself off, but is ready to make that step forward, with the people, with abby. and it all just speaks volumes for her character and her emotional, personal growth. now the world looks even more different for her and she is there with everyone, every step of the way. not hiding, but present.

it’s clear that she will have to make more hard decisions, this is only the first step after all, but i am so excited to see it all. she is truly stepping up.

[shaky off-tune kazoo version of the jaws theme playing in the distance]

Hello, everyone.

First of all, I’m so incredibly sorry for just vanishing for more than half a year, especially because I realized my last post was about a hospital stay (which I did mention was harmless, but probably still looks pretty ominous as a last post.)
I feel terrible for making people worry, especially since there’s already enough upsetting stuff happening :c 

To be honest I’m a little nervous writing this post right now after being gone for so long, but I really wanted to give a life sign! This weekend I finally checked my inbox, and I was incredibly touched by all the sweet messages. I can’t get back to everyone so let me just thank all of you who sent messages or replies, or even just thought about me! I cannot put into words how much it means to me ;-; It made my heart hurt in a good way, and I hope good things happen to you!

(Personal stuff behind the cut)

Keep reading

Keep on living (chapter 1) Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 

Summary: You work at the Richard Rogers theater as the assistant to the musical director as Hamilton hits Broadway, and it’s while working there you develop a friendship/crush on Lin who is your nerdy workaholic nerd in arms. Meanwhile you hide the other secret part of your life from Lin and your friends,  keeping secret your abusive partner until you can’t hide it anymore. Expect some angst. 

(I’m an abuse survivor myself. Not all abuse is the same, and so this fic is not meant to be a universal experience.  I wrote this originally as a fluff piece for myself but I realise it doesn’t come across as fluff!

To anyone that may be experiencing abuse then my inbox is always open and I will always believe you. Tell a friend or a relative if you are able to. And there are many support lines depending on your town/state/country, talking to someone helps. Stay safe.)

Warnings: I’m adding a trigger warning for some mentions of emotional and physical abuse.

Word count:  2715

——

You were late again to rehearsals, that’s when he first noticed that something was wrong.

You were known for your punctuality, often getting to the theatre hours ahead of everyone. You used your tiny office in the basement to write, to go over notes, and to listen to recordings from the sound desk from the previous night’s show. After years of working shitty jobs this was your first job as musical director’s assistant and you weren’t planning on wasting the opportunity. You’d been with Hamilton since they made its transition to Broadway, you lived and breathed this production, and the Richard Rogers was practically your home.

So when you showed up 2 hours late that afternoon hiding behind a pair of oversize dark glasses, you were greeted by Lin’s fake gasp of surprise.

“Aaaaand what time do you call this Y/N?” he called as she skipped over to you, a wide grin on his face while he playfully put his arm around your shoulder. “You bailed on Oak’s birthday drinks last night. I can’t believe you left me in a bar singing karaoke by myself after you promised me a Disney duet medley!.”

He pouted and gave you puppy eyes. Ordinarily you’d laugh along with him and tease him about his failed disney duets (last time the gang had gone out for karaoke he drunkenly sang A Whole New World with Chris but Lin had naturally taken over singing both Aladdin and Jasmine’s parts leaving Chris and everyone else in fits of laughter at the over-excited disney nerd now serenading himself  in front of them) but today you were caught off guard.

You pushed the glasses tight against your face.

“Um sorry, I had an emergency, h-had to leave a-and get back home. I uh should get downstairs, there’s um some charts I was supposed to amend for Alex this evening.”

You put your head down and pulled away from Lin’s arm, fumbling for the door to make a quick getaway. Lin, sensing something amiss instantly transitioned from Goofy Lin to Serious Lin in a heartbeat, and ran around placing himself in front of you.

“Hey, sorry Y/N, is everything ok? Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“Has something happened?” He placed his hand on your shoulder, giving you a squeeze as he lowered his head trying to meet your gaze while you stared at the floor.

You pushed his hand away, too scared to look him in the eye, knowing that if you did you might unravel at any moment.

“I’m fine, sorry, just in a rush.”

You quickly scuffled away, aware of Lin’s eyes following you. You felt like a dick.

You knew how weird you sounded and how rude you were being. You’d looked forward to Oak’s birthday drinks along with everyone else, and ordinarily you’d love to spend the afternoon joking around with Lin. There was even a time when Lin skipping over to give you puppy eyes would have made your heart flutter. You’d developed the most embarrassing crush on him during your first few weeks on the job which left you shy and unable to speak, but you’d pushed those feeling aside, choosing to be as professional as possible. Nobody would have taken you seriously with a silly crush on Lin.

Pippa had once called it the ‘Lin Effect’:

“ Everyone falls in love with Lin” she’d said during those first few weeks of rehearsals.

“He makes everyone in the room feel important and who can’t help but fall in love with that, it’s the Lin Effect!”

Lin had overheard Pippa saying this and for days afterwards he joked with anyone on stage who forget their lines or missed their mark that their lack of concentration was down to the Lin Effect. When you’d accidentally hit play on the sampler during a heart-wrenching rehearsal of Quiet Uptown, accidentally filling the studio with deafening hip hop beats, the cast had erupted into giggles and Lin punched the air and yelled ‘Lin Effect!’ and winked at you. Once you’d seen this goofy side you became less nervous around him and more like good friends. The crippling shyness was gone and in it’s place was an incredibly nerdy friendship born out of long days and nights, rehearsing, and thinking/talking/breathing music with him. And sure, he could still make you feel special just with a look, or by getting excited when you let him hear your own compositions for a half finished music project you’d been kicking around. They way his eyes lit up and got excited, the way he’d smile at you with a mixture of pride and and warmth could make your day. Even as just good friends, the Lin Effect was real.

But you couldn’t think about anyone just now. You just needed to stop and breathe and get to your office before anyone else saw you.

You practically fell into the office you shared with Alex, surprised to find Chris sitting there on the beaten up couch with Pippa, both in fits of giggles as each of them shared an earbud plugged into Chris’s phone. You’d hoped to find an empty room to be alone.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realise you guys were in here” you said with your hand quickly reaching behind you for the door handle ready to leave.

“Hey Y/N!’ Pippa called, ‘we were waiting for you, come and listen to this!’

You slowly edged your way over to the sofa on Pippa’s command. She scooted up and patted beside her gesturing for you to sit. ‘Here you gotta listen to this, it’s an old Freestyle Love Supreme recording, it’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, check it out!” She pulled the ear bud out of her ear and thrust it towards you. You took it from her practically in slow motion, looking at the ear bud like you’d never seen an ear bud before.

“Ooh check out the glasses, does someone have a hangover?” laughs Chris. “Man you must be feeling ROUGH today huh!”. You nod along meekly without saying a word, leaving an awkward silence in the air. Pippa looks at you with concern then gently nudges Chris who puts his hands up “Ok ok, I’ll leave you two alone, sounds like someone is in desperate need of some coffee!”

As Chris slipped away you felt Pippa’s eyes narrowing on you

“Y/N what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, sorry I’m just tired. Hungover.” You stammed.

Pippa’s eye’s lowered to meet yours, you were looking down in your lap, something was wrong. “Hungover? But you weren’t out with us last night though, we looked all over for you. Where were you?”

Hearing the concern in her voice was almost overwhelming and you could feel tears in your eyes. You slowed your breathing trying to steady yourself so you didn’t fall apart there and then.

“Y/N talk to me, what’s happened.”

You breathed, swallowed, and raised your head to meet hers. Slowly, you reached up and took off the oversize sunglasses that had shielded your face. As you took them off you still couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with her and you stared down at the sofa as you heard Pippa breathe in sharply.

Your face was bruised. Your left eye was swollen and bloodshot, your eyelid was purple, and there was a small cut on the top of your cheek, the skin was tinged yellow as the bruise faded out across your face.

“Oh my god Y/N are you ok? What happened? Oh my god who did this?”

You felt exposed.

You couldn’t tell anyone. He’d apologised, he hadn’t meant to. He wasn’t a monster. You didn’t want people to see that side of him. You weren’t making excuses for him, but he didn’t mean to hurt you, he just got upset and lost control, and it never meant to happen.

You’d been dating Mark for 3 months now. He was amazing, a talented musician, he was so smart, he was creative and enthusiastic and loved you. He really loved you. But he struggled too. His mental health wasn’t great and lately his dark moments had become dark days and dark weeks. He felt so scared of losing you and felt jealous that you were working in your dream job when he was still struggling. He hadn’t wanted you to go out last night, he was convinced you would cheat on him, that you’d drink too much and go home with someone else, scared that your ‘new dumbass theatre friends’ (as he called them) would convince you to leave him. You’d got annoyed, you’d snapped back at him, you hated someone so controlling, you just wanted one night out with your friends. And he’d hit you. He’d actually hit you. You couldn’t tell anyone.

“Y/N who did this?”

“Nobody. I mean.. someone tried to mug me, it’s fine, they didn’t take anything and I got away, it’s totally fine, I’m just tired.” You were bad at lying, your voice sounded strange and you were sure that she knew. You regretted saying it was a mugging instantly.

“Oh Fuck! Y/N that’s horrible, you poor poor thing. Did you call the police? I can come with you to the police station, what do you need?”

You made eye contact with Pippa for the first time since sitting down, her kindness felt so unbearable.

“It’s fine, honestly. I’ve already spoken to the police. I’m ok, I’m just tired.” You even cracked a smile to try and show just how ok you were pretending to be. You were the worst liar. She reached out and pulled you into a hug while she continued to say nice reassuring things. You couldn’t concentrate and you just closed your eyes hoping for some quiet calm soon.

Your eyes snapped wide as the door to your office swung open and Chris stood there.

“Hey I forgot my phone…” He trailed off as he saw your face and you quickly pulled your hair over your face feeling exposed.

“Y/N what happened?” He begun, but luckily, Pippa sensing your desire for the ground to swallow you up, instantly  jumped up pressing his phone into his hands and shooing him out of the office urging him to leave you alone for some quiet time and saying ‘yes she’s FINE’ over the top of his protests while shutting the door in his face.

“Oh god thank you.”

“That’s ok, although people are gonna be concerned. In fact I don’t want you going home alone tonight, I’ll take a cab with you. No ifs no buts.”

You wished you hadn’t blurted out a lie about being mugged. If anything that was just gonna bring more attention on yourself. And it wasn’t the same: people who got mugged were victims of something awful, you weren’t a victim, he said this was something you had done, that you’d made him this angry. Was this your fault? You slipped the glasses back up to your face, wishing for invisibility. You didn’t want any more attention, and you didn’t want anyone walking you home, you couldn’t run the risk of Mark finding out that you’d shown anyone your black eye. He’d wanted you to keep it hidden today, he was so sorry for what he’d done.

“It’s fine honestly Pippa. Mark’s coming to pick me up later so I won’t be on my own. And anyway I’m not sticking around for the show tonight, it’s my night off, i just came in to work on some charts for Alex for a couple of hours, so I’ll be home before dark anyway.”

“Well…ok. Sorry, I know you don’t need babysitting, I’m just so glad Mark will be with you, he’s a good guy, he must have been so worried about you.”

You zoned out as Pippa started praising Mark but hopefully that was enough to keep her from accompanying you home tonight. You made her promise not to tell anyone else what happened but you realised that was going to be impossible, but Pippa had at least promised to tell people not to ask you about it. You regretted lying so much, and what a shitty lie it was.

After much reassuring her that you were fine, she eventually left you to it. And in the quiet of the office you could finally breathe and concentrate on the charts Alex had asked you to work on. For the next couple of hours you worked on transposing music for new chorus members, tinkering with arrangements and for those two hours things were easy. You could get lost in your work, and notes and squiggles on a page were easier to deal with than real life. The two hours flew past in a whirlwind and you piled your folders together and grabbed your bag ready to head out before the evening crowds assembled for showtime.

As you made your way quietly down the corridor hoping to avoid speaking to anyone as you slipped out, at least until tomorrow, there was Lin. He was completely unaware of you as he sat on the floor near one of the prop rooms. His oversize hoodie was pulled over his head and he was staring intently at his laptop, bobbing his head in time to a beat through his headphones. Looking at him now with strands of hair hanging in his face as he absent-minded tucked them behind his ears he looked so lost in his music, so happy. On any other day you would have joined him and wasted time sharing songs and ideas, bouncing off each other until showtime.  On any other day you could have silently stolen a glance and noted how cute he looked while in full concentration mode. But today wasn’t any other day and you needed  a hot bath and some sleep and to figure out what to do.

You breathed in pushing the sunglasses tight against your face and left through the back door silently. The noise of the street hit you immediately and you realised you felt scared. You felt scared to go home, you felt scared to see Mark. You breathed in slowly, it felt like everything was in slow motion today.

“Hey”

You turned round and there was Lin. He’d followed you out, with his hood pulled down and his headphones hanging round his neck,. “I was waiting for you but you snuck out before saying goodbye”

“I’m sorry, it’s been a weird day, I just need to get home”

You eyes darted around, too scared to look him in the face. Did he know? Had Pippa told everyone?

“You’re not sticking around tonight?”

He looked disappointed.

“It’s my night off, I’m not feeling great. I’m just gonna go home.” You forced a smile but it came out a grimace.

“Has something happened?”

Did he know? You didn’t think he knew. But his eyes narrowed and his mouth tensed with concern.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine, it was nothing you don’t have to worry.”

You turned away, just wanting to escape but you felt his hand reach out to grab your arm. You winced as his hand slipped and he ended up grabbing your wrist. Your wrist was sore and tender from last night, where Mark had grabbed you, digging his fingers and thumb into your wrist to stop you from leaving. You gasped out in shock of being touched.

“Sorry I…” You looked back to see him glancing down at your wrist where faint red finger marks on your skin seemed to give you away. His eyebrows tensed and he looked up at you in shock. You quickly pulled your arm away, embarrassed.

“I need to go…” you began.

“Wait, Y/N..”

“Seriously, can we do this another day?”

Your turned to leave once again, only this time to find Mark walking towards you both, his mouth pursed and his eyes sullen. You hadn’t lied to Pippa, he really was coming to pick you up after work. It was something you’d been dreading.

“Mark!”

“Hey.” He said, not looking you but staring intently at Lin. Lin broke his gaze away from you, and he turned to face Mark. You couldn’t tell what he was piecing together in his mind from your mood, the sunglasses, and now your wrist. His face was solemn and gave nothing away, gone was the cute smile and soft eyes from just a moment ago. He swallowed and smiled and put his hand out to Mark.

“Hey man, you must be Mark, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

—————–

Part 2 coming soon.is here

I’ve been pretty quiet the last couple days. This is me laying low. But this post and all the lovely comments was brought to my attention this morning and I sort of feel the need to defend myself. From shippers. and yes I’m going to be bitter. I think I’m allowed that. 

There’s a couple things I take issue with because, you see, I was in many of your shoes not even a week ago. Pretty innocently shipping with very little to no threats from antis. Antis being mad made me happy because, for the most part, their anger was empty bullshit. It made me want to ship harder. However. What myself, Jess and Lauren have received is not empty, angry anti bullshit. My last name, Lauren’s last name and my place of work were dropped into my inbox by some anonymous person with the CLEAR message that if we continued to ship the way we do, my job was going to be threatened. That is not an empty threat. Realistically, do I think my boss would care that I ship? No. Does it stop me from being absolutely terrified that this random anonymous psycho now knows my last name? Hell fucking no. The minute you know someone’s name, you know their address, their phone number, their family members names, all thanks to google. Lauren has a child with one on the way. She has a family, a life, all of which are now threatened. And why? Because she ships. I don’t wish our last couple days on anyone and certainly I don’t wish it on any other shippers but you know what? I do wonder if any of you would be doing a happy dance that antis are mad if your privacy was suddenly under attack. I also wonder if you’d be as annoyed as I am that other shippers, who I thought had our backs, were now partying and shipping even harder because the antis are mad. I don’t think you’d be super happy if the tables were turned. Their anger is now threatening real people. Lauren, Jess and I are not just blogs. 

So while all of you are so happy that the antis are mad, we are terrified. We’re scared to ship again. I’m scared to take my blog off private. I’m really paranoid. I made a separate locked twitter account so I can ship in peace without the fear of being quite literally stalked and harassed. But quite frankly shipping is the last thing I’m worried about. In my mind, this has nothing to do with “the ship.” This goes way beyond the ship. 

Are there things the three of us, as shippers, could have done differently? Maybe. Depends on who you talk to. Sam doesn’t seem to mind us tweeting him all the time. None of you seemed to mind that we were so active when he was faving our shippery tweets. Personally? I have no regrets on how I ship. I’m not afraid to speak my mind because, for the last 3 years or so, I didn’t think there was going to be any serious consequence. Which is how all of you are living your lives on this ship. Without consequence. Some part of me is really happy for you. I’m glad you can all ship without consequence, without nasty threats being dropped into your inbox (and that’s how it SHOULD be. But it’s not so here we are.) It’s really easy to “ignore” when the threats are not personal. 

The other part of me though is really sad. I’m sad, I’m frustrated as hell, I’m annoyed, I’m angry and I’m resentful. Partly because I can’t ship the way you guys get to and I miss it. I want to be able to. But also because, somehow through no fault of our own, Lauren, Jess and I have big red targets on our backs. Everything we do is screen capped and analyzed and ridiculed. Everything. Don’t believe me? Go take a gander at some of the more well known “anti” blogs. Just yesterday I was having my name smeared all over one of them for something I had no part in or knowledge of. And before this happened, I was able to laugh at it because it was just so ridiculous but suddenly none of it seems super funny to me. So while all of you get to ship and enjoy and have fun, we have to make a choice. We have to make a choice about whether or not we even want to continue with our blogs. Whether or not this ship, which used to be a happy place for all of us, is worth continued threats, continued harassment, continued bullying, continued screen capping etc. Potentially more doxxing. Spoiler alert: it’s 100% not worth that. Because if we decide to leave, antis are not going away. They’ll just choose new targets. 

I’m not looking for pity with this post so please don’t try it. But I am looking for a bit of understanding, a little less “stay strong” and “just ignore and keep shipping” and a LOT less “YAY ANTIS ARE MAD TIME TO PARTYYY!!!!”

I can’t believe I got this shot last night.

Edit: Adding this for you, @expectogladiolus​ (The longer you look at his mouth, the more you can see it looking like a smirk ;)  )

“Fuck did you say to me?”, Gladio yelled finishing off a daemon with a final strike.

You flicked your wrist to dissipate your weapon. “You heard me”. You crack the faintest smile, your own burst of sass amusing you. It could be the adrenaline, but wherever it was coming from, you decided to just roll with it.

Say that to me one more time”, his half smirk betraying his threatening tone. He began to close the distance between you. Slowly, he stalked over to you. You couldn’t help but take in the way his uniform held to his body, and the casual way his arms swung. You stood your ground, one part out of stubborn determination, one part too afraid your legs would give out after connecting with his honey-colored eyes. 

Simply standing was all you could do to keep from falling. 

The hanging light in the cave cast a shadow over you as Gladio eclipsed it with his massive frame. He was so smug, towering over you, arms crossed, hips cocked to the side. 

The other boys had moved on ahead down the cave, taking their lights with them, dimming the surroundings further. He continued to hold your gaze until you broke it to look past him, searching for the others. How far were they going to keep walking without you two?  It was silent now, apart from a few drips of water trickling over the cave walls.

His baritone voice cut cleanly through the thick silence. 

“You were saying…”

CAST YOUR VOTES NOW IN MY INBOX OR REPLY TO THIS POST!!
Open voting until 7:30 PM CST


A.
Repeat what you said.
B. Make light of the situation.

C. Remain silent.

D. Run ahead.

The Truth Is For Wimps

Pairing: John Murphy X Reader
Requested: Yes (on wattpad)
Warnings: cursing, and sexual themes
A/N: Two in one day!! I have a lot of requests right now which is AMAZING but that means if you’ve requested something recently it might take awhile for me to write it. My inbox is still open though so don’t be shy!
Word Count: 1247

———————————————–

“No! I’m not making out with Octavia!” Harper’s voice rang through the drop ship.

“Why not?” Jasper whined, “You chose dare now you have to follow through with it,” he pointed an accusing finger at her.

“It’s either that or you forfeit and have to chug an entire bottle of moonshine,” you told her.

“Y/N that’s not helping,” Harper’s reply was followed by a glare in your direction, you gave her a ‘what can ya do’ shrug. It was late at night, and everyone had gotten bored of the usual sitting around the campfire so you all decided to spice things up with a game of truth or dare. Mixing in a fresh batch of Monty’s moonshine and things were bound to get interesting.

“C’mon it’s just a kiss,” Octavia said before leaning over and pressing her lips to Harper’s. All of the boys had their eyes locked on the scene in front of them, while the girls (and Bellamy) just shook their heads disapprovingly. Your entire friend group was sat in a circle inside the drop ship: Monty, Jasper, Miller, Bellamy, Monroe, Harper, Octavia, Clarke, and someone had even convinced Murphy to join in. Everyone was having a blast, laughing, getting drunk, and coming up with weird questions or stupid a dares for the others to do.

“Okay, Y/N, truth or dare,” Harper asked as soon as Octavia pulled away trying to divert attention away from her blushing face.

“Truth,” you tell her before taking a drink.

“Ugh, lame!” Everyone choruses at your answer.

“Hey! I don’t want a repeat of last time we played. I had to lick Jasper’s goggles. He never cleans those things! I have no idea where they’ve been!” You tell tell them motioning to Jasper who just shrugs and rolls his eyes. Harper looks around the room waiting for an idea to strike her.

“Oh, I know!” She exclaims. “Y/N, out of every guy in this room, which one would you have sex with?” A smile graces her lips, she’s proud of her question.

“Hmmm, if I have to pick, I’d say… Murphy,” youtell them. Everyone gives you shocked looks and Murphy scoots closer to you.

“Wel Doll, ya know all you have to do is ask,” Murphy tells you while wrapping an arm around your shoulders and giving you a wink. You roll your eyes and push his arm off of you.

“So, Jasper tru-” you get cut off before you can even finish your sentence.

“Wait, wait, wait! I want to know why you’d fuck Murphy out of all of us,” Monty interrupts you.

“Yeah, I got to admit I’m curious too,” Bellamy tells you taking a swig of his drink.

“Fine! I’ll explain myself,” you say while sitting up instead of resting against the wall. “Well, I didn’t choose Monty because we’re so close he’s basically my brother, and I don’t want to fuck my brother. It’s not Jasper because he’s not my type,” you look at him to see his face is pulled into a pout, “Sorry Hun I’m not into stoners. Bellamy, you’re really hot, don’t get me wrong, but you’re overconfident and I don’t find that sexy. Miller– well Miller’s gay!” You end your spiel by throwing your hands into the air.

“Wait a minute, so I’m just your last option?” Murphy asks you, his voice holds a playful tone which is brought out by the alcohol coursing through him. You’re all plastered by this point in the night.

“Don’t look so upset, at least you’re getting laid at all!” Cries Jasper bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“Jasper, I’m not actually going to have sex with Murphy,” you explain to the drunken boy.

“Oh,” he says looking down at his lap sadly.

“Don’t sound so sure of yourself Doll, I can be very persuasive,” Murphy whispers in your ear while placing his hand on your thigh. All you do is roll your eyes, making no move to remove his hand.

“Can we get back to the game now?” You ask everyone, your question is followed by a chorus of yeses. “Clarke, truth or dare?” Clarke downs the rest of her drink before looking up at you.

“Dare,” she says with a determined glint in her eye.

“Well, let’s see, what can I make the princess do?” You tap your chin in thought– it doesn’t take long for an idea to pop into your head. “I dare you to take Monroe’s bra off.” Clarke takes a deep breath before crawling over to Monroe and unclasping her bra and then pulling the straps down her shoulders, eventually taking it out from under her shirt. She holds the bra up in the air as if it’s a trophy and then returns to her seat next to Bellamy.

“Murphy, truth or dare?” Clarke asks him. She has a suspicious glint in her eye and you know she’s planning something.

“Dare, I’m not a wimp,” Murphy squeezes your leg when he says that.

“I dare you to give Y/N a lap dance.”

So that’s the devious deed she had in mind. You look over at Murphy expectantly, waiting to see if he’d actually do it or not. Surprisingly he stands up and offers you his hand. You raise an eyebrow at him as you let him pull you up and over to a chair. It’s obvious Murphy is totally wasted, there’s no way he would ever do this sober. A laugh escapes your lips once he starts to do a strip tease– slowly taking off his jacket and lifting his shirt up so you can see his stomach. As he moves closer to you he’s doing body rolls and thrusting his hips while pointing at you. The next thing you know he’s on your lap, grinding down on you and all you can do is throw your head back in a loud laugh. Once Murphy has deemed the dance over you both head back over to the group who is laughing their asses off at what they just witnessed.

“Hey, don’t laugh I know you all secretly wish that was you,” Murphy slurs at them.

“Okay well I think Murphy’s had enough fun for tonight. C’mon let’s get you back to your tent,” you support Murphy as you try to walk him back to his tent which is luckily close by. When you finally get him in he’s already half asleep. Sighing you take off his shoes and socks, then tuck him into bed.

“Wait,” you hear Murphy faintly say as you get up to leave, “stay?” He asks you.

You look over your shoulder at him, he seems so vulnerable, so unlike the Murphy that everyone thinks he is. The rude, sarcastic Murphy can’t be found when you look at him now, he’s been replaced by someone who just needs a friend. Someone who just wants somebody to care about him. So, you nod and get under the covers. You cuddle into his side, his arms are wrapped around you as your head lies on his chest. You drift off to sleep, soothed by the sound of his steady heartbeat.

In the morning the two of you will wake up with pounding headaches and far away memories of a very hilarious lap dance. Sadly, the drunk carefree Murphy will have disappeared only for the asshole to take his spot again. But maybe, just maybe you can bring out that side of him when he’s sober.

anonymous asked:

lmao i love how anti karamels hold the fact the he had slaves against him but literally forget that he said he didn't agree with it ?? also you guys forget that kara herself judged him based on the fact that he's a daxamite. he's grown over this past season and he's starting to learn what's right and wrong and he always praises kara when she does the right thing but u guys just pick and choose what u hear. things were different for him back on daxam and he's just starting to learn how earth is

Listen idk how fucking old this ask is but lemme hit you with some info.
First of all, the slavery thing is dumb af. Honestly get out of here. He owned slaves. His parents owned slaves and when they died they were probably going to pass them down to him and he probably wouldn’t have said no. They tell us throughout the first 12 years of our life that if you don’t speak up when someone is being bullied that you’re just as bad as the bully. Same goes for slavery. If you don’t speak out against it then you are on the side of the slave owners. It’s that simple. If you can honestly sit here and say you wouldn’t speak out against slavery then you’re a piece of shit.
Second, I haven’t watched Supergirl for the last probably 4 or 5 episodes because everything Mon-El did reminded me of my abusive ex boyfriend. And here’s the thing. I tried to make excuses for him. I tried to say “he’s learning! He’ll get better! His planet was different!” But no. No. No. NO.
Excusing the behavior of abusive partners (gender aside) is exactly what allows them to remain abusive. My ex wasn’t going to stop degrading me or yelling at me or hitting me. I had to get out of the situation. And looking at Mon-El always reminds me of that. I get that he’s from a different planet. Some people are raised in households where they are taught that it’s okay to treat their partners like that. It doesn’t make it okay. He can be from Daxam or Venus or an island in the Caribbean or Betty White’s asshole for all I care. It doesn’t excuse abuse. I would hit you with the facts of “he did this, this, and this and that’s why he’s an abuser” but I’m gonna hit you with this one instead.
Being a witness to Mon-El’s treatment of Kara Danvers has made me physically sick in the past and brings up traumatic experiences that have, on more than one occasion, triggered panic attacks from me. This is not about our wlw ship. This about trauma and abuse and a tv show that is showing little girls and boys that it is 1. Okay to treat others that way and 2. Okay to BE treated that way.

Now do me a favor and get the fuck out of my inbox

An Open Letter to the Overwatch Community

– written by somebody who probably has no business writing it. ;)

So my blog, overwatchuserboxes, was for some reason deactivated from Tumblr briefly last night/early this morning. I luckily heard back from Tumblr support staff after a while and, as you guys can probably tell, the blog is back up and running! :) 

I can’t figure out if this was just a random mistake or if something else happened, but I’ve been over the Tumblr rules and guidelines and I’m confident I didn’t violate any of their terms. But in light of the recent influx of hatred and viciousness in my inbox related to some of the userboxes I have made on request, I instantly wondered if there was some sort of correlation. I don’t think there was, but the fact that I had the thought is ridiculous in itself!! So. Just a (slightly wordy, sorry) post from me re: ship hate and my ~feelings~ below, if you’d like to keep reading. If not, have a lovely day! ❤

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

"harry has closet knocked repeatedly and SOFT OUTED HIMSELF TWICE and for you to act like we’re somehow in the wrong for listening to the words coming out of his own mouth is offensive and tone deaf" BUT he also choose to talk about girls ( or have ben do it) and he choose not to fight RS about it and you ignoring it/not accpeting it instead of bringing up 2014 is also wrong. It's his closet and he can do whatever he wants. He dosn't need you being a warrior bringing up 2014 every time he talks.

listen up douchebag it doesn’t matter when harry said it because time doesn’t make it any less true.

you seem to be a little bit confused about how the closet usually operates for celebrities trying to build a career so i’m going to give you a quick refresher with luke evans as a case study.

in the early 2000s he was an out and proud gay man in the theatre scene.

In 2002, when Evans was 23 and starring in the West End production of the Boy George musical Taboo, he was very forthcoming to The Advocate’s Paris Barclay. “People come up to me in pubs, gay pubs mind you, and can’t believe that I’m gay,” Evans said. He continued, telling Barclay that he had no intention of hiding this part of his personal life. (Barclay wrote in the introduction to his interview with Evans that he wanted to talk to Evans about his candor in particular “before Luke Evans becomes a household name here in the States and changes his mind!”) In 2004, when Evans performed in Hardcore, a stage drama about the UK porn industry, he reiterated the message, saying that being out hasn’t affected his career. “I did it for myself,” he told London gay magazine QX. “I didn’t do it for anything else — just my own self worth. I wasn’t happy living a lie as I’d been living a lie for the majority of my life, so performing in Taboo was a good time to come out, and it hasn’t bothered my career at all.”

cut to 2010 - he starts booking big film roles (like clash of the titans and the hobbit) and suddenly he’s back in the closet and talking about his girlfriend. it’s almost like - shocker - despite his previous comments, industry pressure was put on him to pretend he’s straight because there’s still a pretty huge stigma around openly gay leading men.

The 34 year-old Evans, who has had steady work in blockbuster movies in the last three years starting with his film debut in 2010’s Clash of the Titans, has achieved modest success in Hollywood with roles in overblown, big-budget films. Also on his resume are two adventure films, The Three Musketeers and Immortals, as well as the forgettable Edgar Allen Poe horror biopic The Raven; before landing the lead in The Crow, Evans’ biggest breakout was a role in Peter Jackson’s three-part adaptation of The Hobbit. As with many up-and-coming Hollywood actors, Evans’ name has popped up in a few news items linking him to giddy ingénues: take this press release-lite story from 2010 about his budding relationship with fellow Wales native Holly Goodchild (a name that seems to come right out of an Old Hollywood star magazine). This would all seem pretty ordinary if Evans hadn’t publicly come out as gay in two interviews a decade ago.

&

Hiding his sexuality came later, once a Hollywood movie career began. Evans, through publicists, refused to comment on his past statements and tended to avoid pronouns in interviews about his significant others, hoping to adopt three dogs and “share them with someone else” in a 2010 interview with Cosmopolitan. Slowly but surely, Evans has risen in Hollywood at the cost of the openness he so clearly prized when first starting out.

now he’s publicly out again. 

But this week [the article is from 2014], Evans finally responded to a question about his sexuality. He responded to a Women’s Wear Daily interviewer asking him if he was setting a new precedent as an openly gay action star: “It’s good for people to look at me and think this guy is doing his thing and enjoying what he’s doing and successful at it and living his life. And that’s what I’m doing and I’m very happy.” The WWD piece makes a note of the fact that Evans’ publicists attempted to keep his sexuality (which they don’t deny) from coming up in the interview, a condition both reporter and subject ignored. And while it may not have been a full-throated declaration of gay pride, Evans’ tacit acknowledgment of his unique status — in a way, he’s been out for years — signals that things may, slowly, be changing for Evans and for gay public figures.

does that ‘straight’ period in 2010 - 2014 somehow erase him being out the first time or negate his pride regarding his sexuality? no not at all. and it’s assholes like you who make it so hard for people to come out in the first place.

the industry is still an incredibly homophobic place and (straight) sex sells. i’m definitely not a fan of the het promo in rolling stone but are you seriously surprised that’s what his team would choose to lean on in order to try and sell albums particularly given how successful it’s been for his image in the past?

he is in the closet and that’s unlikely to change - at bare minimum - until louis’ free of his stunts. so no, me ‘not accepting it and bringing up 2014′ isn’t wrong it’s RESPECTING HARRY’S OWN COMMENTS REGARDING HIS SEXUALITY.

try educating yourself a little bit on what it’s like to be a queer person in a world that by and large does not value your identity and tells you that you’ll never be enough and that being straight is not only the default but the ideal. 

now imagine being a famous person in that kind of environment and keep your judgmental and patronizing nonsense out of my fucking inbox.

anonymous asked:

not only MP, now also misha said that cas will be back but we must consider there are also alternate universes, this is making me more nervous I don't want an alternate cas , all the character development and his history with dean lost, it's so upsetting :(

Yeah, I’ve had questions along this line, but I haven’t been able to really answer formally. Along these lines and also in my inbox this morning: (AN: all things in italics are other anon messages… sometimes my inbox helps me out with anons sort of answering each other… Eldritch Inbox):

Hello, i’m sorry if you answered this already, but i do have a question about a certain theory going about about the idea of an au!cas (possibly the one who got killed?) I guess i’m kind of confused about it and was wondering if you’ve either already spoken on it or can expand on the idea? thanks :)

and

Im worried now theyll just exchange Cas for AU cas and think thats fine because we still have the same actor. The flash did the same thing had the character leavd and brozgh the guys alernative version to stick around

and:

While I can see them (hopefully) using AU Cas in good way for a few eps (tho it doesn’t make sense because there would be no reason for JimmyCas in the other world, but they often don’t address stuff that doesn’t make sense well) I don’t think they would decide to not bring regular Cas back. They have 2 seasons left. I don’t think they would get rid of 1 of the mains. 50% if you counted Crowley. Tho they did that with Angel and the relationship on that show in the last season. Hmm.


Okay, I really, truly 100% honestly don’t think they’re going to use AU Cas at all as a replacement for OUR Cas. If the show is going to open up more alternate realities, I can see OUR Cas (and Sam and Dean) meeting those alternate universe versions for an episode here and there, if only to MIRROR what our Cas is going through, but WHY would they bring Cas THIS FAR in his story, to the point where HE HIMSELF has developed and grown and learned SO MUCH ABOUT HIMSELF, and been prodded by practically EVERY CHARACTER EVER about WHO HE IS and WHAT HE WOULD CHOOSE TO BE if they were just gonna toss him out and bring in replacement copies with entirely different life experiences?

We don’t just love the concept of what would essentially boil down to a random character wearing Misha’s face, WE LOVE OUR CAS. Who we’ve watched struggle FOR NINE DAMN YEARS to get to this point in his understanding of humanity, his compassion, his sense of family, and his LOVE for the Winchesters… like two steps before he was ready to make some BIG FINAL CHOICES for himself… And I can’t think of ANY reason for the writers to just erase ALL of that and start over with a “blank slate” version of Cas. Honestly if that’s what they’re planning to do, I would forever be officially done with this damn show.

Talk about your Jump The Shark moments.

BUT! Considering the Cas we saw on screen looked identical to our Cas, down to the coat and tie, and the fact that the Apocalypse AU didn’t look like they had a Dillard’s, I’m assuming that we have not met a Castiel from that AU. What reason would he have for looking like Jimmy Novak in our Castiel’s outfit when AU Bobby looked the way he did, and when AU demons LOOKED like demons (not possessed humans), and when we heard AU angels were human-hating monsters too… Something tells me AU Cas would look NOTHING like Jimmy in suit and tie. It just makes no logical sense.

Even MAGIC in that AU didn’t seem to work properly. Crowley’s spell didn’t seem to be what closed the portal. It was the nephilim’s birth that closed it.

Which brings me back around to the beginning of the line (just like the structure of the episode, and the meta-ness of the title– a song that ends at the beginning…)

Kelly grabs Cas’s hand, after he’s seen the AU that the nephilim SHOWED HIM SPECIFICALLY, of what the world without the Winchesters would look like– remember in 12.09 when Cas was ADAMANT that the world needs every last Winchester? And he was willing to break cosmic-level deals to make sure the world could keep its Winchesters? To me, in this scene where Kelly needs reassurance about Castiel’s “vision of the future” the nephilim showed him, that is something that’s ALSO forefront on his mind:

Kelly: Tell me again. Tell me again what you saw.
Cas: All right. I saw… I saw (he closes his eyes and concentrates on Kelly taking his hand in 12.19, exactly as she just did now)… I saw the future. (flashback to 12.19, with the nephilim’s power flowing through Cas and lighting his eyes up gold). I saw a world without pain, or hunger, or want. I saw the world that this child– that your child– will create. And it is a world without fear, and without suffering, and without hate. I saw paradise.

As he finishes recounting the memory for her, the lights flicker and we hear the Impala pulling up outside. Like the nephilim was alerting Cas to the Winchesters’ presence.

And then Cas learns that Lucifer isn’t in the cage. He can’t even believe it at first. So that’s something the nephilim obviously didn’t bother informing him about… Dean asks Cas if he’ll be able to torch Lucifer the same way he torched Dagon, and Cas attributes that 100% to the baby (who’s a little busy being born at the moment…). But in 12.19, Cas said it was a combination of their powers… so what’s the truth?

Even as Cas tells Dean that it was only the nephilim working through him, he heals Dean in a way that is VERY DIFFERENT from every other time in history. I’m not the only one who noticed. I refer you again to my inbox:

I think it’s interesting that literally seconds after Cas tells Dean he doesn’t have the nephilim’s power at his disposal, he heals Dean’s leg with the nephilim’s gold light. It makes me wonder if Cas has some of the nephilim’s power within him that could save him. OR when Cas healed Dean, maybe that power transferred to Dean. He seemed oddly invigorated after he was healed, ya know? Like more so than usual.

and:

Hi so when I was watching the second ep after Cas first left the alternate dimension I noticed he seemed a bit off. Do u think there’s any way that he was like possessed or something?

BECAUSE YES! HELLO! I’ve been saying that the nephilim has somehow been using Cas since 12.19. Maybe it’s not “brainwashing” or “mind control,” but I’ve been struggling to explain the nuance here. Maybe more like “infection?” or “poison?” In a similar way the Lance of Michael “poisoned” Cas in 12.12, But that’s not even right.

Like the Angel Tablet was able to direct Cas to protect it over everything else, even his relationship with the Winchesters, I think the nephilim has that kind of power over him. And that for whatever reason, he Chose Cas as his protector.

Cas also tried to prevent Sam and Dean from going out back and seeing the portal in the first place. And then he downplayed it while also being mesmerized by it. But he’s absolutely certain that Jack OPENED the door, and that he will close it too.

Cas then goes up to talk to Kelly alone, and she asks him what’s wrong… and it looks like he’s SINCERELY HAVING DOUBTS. While Dean’s downstairs telling Sam that he has faith in US… 

WE DO NOT SEE WHAT GOES DOWN BETWEEN CAS AND KELLY aside from him holding her hand AGAIN and sort of robotically saying, “Don’t worry, it will be fine. Remember, paradise.”

Did he tell her about the portal between worlds, and the horror on the other side of the doorway her child had opened? When Crowley showed up at the exact right moment, seemingly already knowing about the portal and exactly how to close it (in theory?) When Lucifer shows up out front (seemingly NOT already knowing about the portal?).

And Lucifer’s reasoning is the same as Amara’s was, and the same as Jack the Nephilim’s is– “I can do better than god, so I’m gonna burn the place down and start over to make the world just how I want it.”

Right before Cas attacks, Dean says, “See you on the other side, boys.”

THE OTHER SIDE.

The other side of the house… the other side of the portal.

THEIR PLAN, I CAN ONLY ASSUME, IS TO TRAP LUCIFER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PORTAL BEFORE JACK CAN CLOSE IT.

I think that’s what the nephilim WANTED. And also why he waited SO LONG to close it… because Crowley’s spell was never going to work there. But the nephilim wanted Sam and Dean and CAS TOO on THIS SIDE OF THE PORTAL. I think that AU was the nephilim’s solution to shoving Luci back in the cage. To send him to a world where his vessel bloodline is extinct. A world he can’t possibly destroy any more than it’s already destroyed. He wanted an apocalypse, that’s what Jack gave him.

Cas is knocked out in front of the house. I’m sort of enamored with the idea that he’s still unconscious out there, and the Cas we saw in the rest of the episode was nothing more than a construct– an illusion sent by Jack to act as a lure, for whatever reason. Because his actions after this are a bit confusing…

Sam and Dean lead Lucifer around to the portal and then cross over to lure Luci through. Dean plays bait while Sam and Crowley work the spell (why on THAT side of the rift? Why not on the “right side”?

Sam pulls Dean away to the rift as Crowley sacrifices himself, and for some reason they just stop there? They stand around watching Crowley’s demise. YET SOME VERSION OF CAS THAT DOESN’T EVEN RESPOND TO DEAN, JUST PUSHES PAST HIM AND SAYS NOTHING, just charges through the rift toward Lucifer, and then seemingly just– walks up to Lucifer, stabs him, and then turns right around and comes back out again?

All while Kelly DISAPPEARS ENTIRELY IN A FLASH OF LIGHT AS JACK IS “BORN?”

We see Lucifer completely unaffected by the bullets Dean shot him with in the AU, as if Cas hadn’t been expecting Lucifer to be able to follow him out for some reason…

Kelly’s body has mysteriously returned to the bed after the light flash, and Jack’s huddled in the corner of his nursery staring up at Sam with those creepy yellow eyes.

I think Jack’s been using Cas all along, ever since 12.19, and I have seen nothing to break me of that belief.

It’s as if every time Cas gets near Sam and Dean, Jack loses a little bit of that control though. But Jack understands that Dean is both necessary as a motivation for Cas (he does everything for the Winchesters, not for heaven, not even for himself), as well as a potential risk. It’s as if Dean is what’s opening up Cas’s “doorways to doubt,” that he told Dean about in 4.16, right after Uriel told Dean that he was Cas’s “weakness.”:

DEAN: What’s going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?
CASTIEL: My superiors have begun to question my sympathies.
DEAN: Your sympathies?
CASTIEL: I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I’ve begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment.

Then in 4.18 Cas relents and gives Dean the nudge in the right direction he needs to stop Sam from making a deal with Lilith (which could’ve potentially STOPPED the apocalypse, but that was before we knew killing Lilith would START it… but feels almost like a test of Cas’s loyalty to Heaven as much as anything, because that entire EPISODE seems in retrospect like a strange loop of Chuck getting to know the players in his own game), and leads directly to him being dragged back to Heaven Boot Camp for reprogramming.

When Cas comes back at the end of the episode, he’s changed. He serves heaven again, not man, and certainly not Dean…

I think Castiel’s “death” in 12.23 is serving the same sort of function. I’m thinking of it as Jack’s answer to Heaven Boot Camp. I am still absolutely convinced that Jack has been influencing Cas’s actions since 12.19, and that Cas is imbued with Jack’s power (hence the golden light when he healed Dean). There is no other explanation for it. Why else give Dean that little cut on his face that we got to see healed with that weird gold light, if it wasn’t to tell us that it was Jack’s power that healed him? It wasn’t clear in 12.19 because Cas was healing an internal injury beneath Dean’s jacket. We didn’t see that healing at work, because we were supposed to be asking ourselves whether or not Cas was being controlled by Jack still… but NOW WE HAVE VISUAL PROOF.

Why would Jack go through all this trouble to keep Cas close while keeping the Winchesters away unless they (or Dean, really) were interfering with that control somehow? Like Cas and his doubts in s4? And even in s5?

Like every time Cas has been “programmed” in Heaven one of his primary objectives was to STAY AWAY FROM THE WINCHESTERS? Like in 7.17 when he was Emmanuel. One day with Dean and he remembered EVERYTHING. Like Naomi controlling him in 8.17, where one day with Dean and he broke free of her control, only to be ruled by the angel tablet and immediately feel the need to run away from Dean again.

We even learned that CROWLEY spent most of s6 trying to convince Cas to stay away from Sam and Dean. It was the foundation of his entire plan to crack purgatory for the souls… 

Instead of bringing Kelly back to the bunker in 12.19, KELLY (under the control of the nephilim already) STOLE THE IMPALA and ran away from the Winchesters. And then when Cas fell under Jack’s power he booped them unconscious and fled.

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

Because all of heaven, earth, hell, and purgatory KNOW that Cas needs to be kept away from Dean if they want to use Cas for their own ends… and that’s exactly what Jack wants. But how can he sever Cas’s connection to the Winchesters?

FACTORY RESET.

He doesn’t have a Heaven Boot Camp with the Dentist’s Chair of Horror.

My guess? The Cas we’re going to see in 13.01 is going to be disturbingly familiar to the Cas at the end of 4.20. Instead of serving Heaven, he’s going to be all aboard the Jack bandwagon. Because Jack still needs SOMEONE, but he needs someone whose faith in him is unshakable. And as long as Cas has ties to the Winchesters as anything more than a symbolic reason for following Jack’s plan for bringing “paradise” to the world, a symbol he’d been willing to sacrifice himself for, then Cas’s loyalty was always in jeopardy.

But resurrected as something NEW, bearing Jack as the source of his power instead of Heaven or God or wherever angel Grace is hooked up to as a power source, he may have much greater control over Cas.

At least, that’s how I’ve been thinking of it…

(and I suspect that Cas will be restored to himself by midseason, and Jack will have effectively moved into Big Bad territory by then…)

a few things i’ve learned from trying to write more in the past couple of years

usual disclaimer that i’m not published and these are things that work for me, when i say “you” i’m being abstract and referring to myself, etc, etc

this is a VERY LONG post, to everyone on mobile, i apologize

Keep reading

New Writing Prompts

I gathered together a new list of writing prompts I thought could be fun. Choose a ML pairing and a prompt and send them to my inbox. :)

  • “Complaining about my plans without having a plan yourself, I see.”
  • “Admit it. You’d miss me and my one-liners.”
  • “There you go. Now you can’t say I’ve never done anything to help.”
  • “Ah, right. I forgot that only those who do as you say are worthy of being considered people.”
  • “Never again will I do this.”
  • “Wait until I say this last thing.”
  • “Look at what you’re doing!” 
  • “Maybe we weren’t meant to be.”
  • “Don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”
  • “Making you come here was a mistake.”
  • “Stop what you’re doing!”
  • “I’m here, I’m not gonna leave you.”
  • “Hey, it’s going to be fine. We’ll get through this together, hand in hand, okay?”
  • “It’s all about the little things.”
  • “You’re amazing, did you know that?”