this is the last make me choose i had in my inbox

Surprise

Request: Can you do one where jughead cares about the reader and he’s worried about her with all the drama and the now murder in riverdale so he goes over to her house one night with some excuse to cover that hes really just worried about her and doesn’t want her alone

A/N: This is such a cute idea.  I think it’s so true to his character and I like it a lot.  Thanks for requesting and feel free to request other ideas in my inbox!

Word count: 1254

Warnings: Mentions of murder, anxiety, cursing

Originally posted by riverdalesource

There was something disturbing about dark and stormy nights.  When didn’t they go wrong?  They always did.  Sunny days?  Sure bad things happen, but not every time.  Every time it rains, it pours, and every time it pours, the darkness is absolute and the creaks in your house are never just the results of years of wear.  And thus, why you were hiding in your closet, clinging to a chilly aluminum bat as your only source of protection.  

Moments earlier, the storm had blown your door open, and there had been hard footsteps on the fake wooden slatted floors.  You had to clench the bat between your thighs for a moment, removing your hands so your quivering fingers wouldn’t clink against the hollow body.  You took as deep a breath as you could, trying to get the image of the hole in Jason Blossom’s head out of your own mind.  

Everyone in Riverdale who said they weren’t on edge after the discovery that Jason was murdered and not just taken by the currents were lying.  The air seemed colder and stiffer, no dead body correlations intended, however… this was the reality.  Somebody had been… murdered.  Anyone who carried on with business as usual, block party with the Joneses, couldn’t have a grain of brain, or at least in your opinion, couldn’t have a grain of brain.

A murder meant a murderer.  A murderer meant that someone who everyone knew was suddenly capable of killing anyone.  Especially if they had wanted to and succeeding in killing Jason Blossom.  You had certainly done worse to the community than Jason.  You stole from convenience stores during puberty, like everyone else.  And this acknowledgement that there was more reason to murder you than the person who was already dead and decaying sent your heart deeper and deeper into your stomach with each thudding footstep up your stairs.  

The creak of your bedroom door was accompanied by a soft whimper, which you soon realized, you had let out.

“Shit,” you whispered, feeling tears well in the corners of your eyes at the realization that every shaky breath you tried to inhale could be your last.  The intruder in your room murmured something, but the words were too low and you were too preoccupied trying to remember your seventh grade gym class lessons on self defense and if they had taught you how to be bulletproof to understand what was being said.  But before you knew it, the door to your closet was thrown open, the aluminum bat slipping from your weak grip on it and clattering to the floor with an echoing ring.  

“Y/N?” You looked up, making eye contact with the person who had, literally, broken into your house just a minute or so ago.

“Jughead?” You groaned, dropping your head to your hands.  Now that you realized that the only person in danger here right now was Jughead, whose neck you pictured in your grip as you tried to regulate your breathing.

“Are you okay?” You heard him lean down, his voice softer and closer to your face now.

“I thought you generally had an issue with people who asked questions they knew the answer to.” Jughead nodded to himself, lips pursed.  “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.  Thought I’d surprise you.”  A prominent snarl on your face, you looked up to him again.  Sarcastically he continued, “Surprise.” His eyebrows lifted in a friendly gesture, his blue eyes pools of comfort for you as he offered you his hand.  You took it, him lifting you to a standing position, grasping the bat and placing it back into your closet before closing it.  “Anything you want to talk about?  Maybe about why you were hiding in your closet?”

“Funny.” He raised his eyebrows in question.  “I thought you were some crazy murderer!” He cocked his head to the left, a look in his eyes that only said, really? “It’s not my fault you have the gait of a serial killer.”

“What is a serial killer gait?” He walked over to your window, looking at the rain falling outside.

“That!  That gait!”

He turned to you, leaning his head from one side to the other in thought.  “Do you have anything to eat?” It was your turn to act surprised, however, in all honesty, you were always certain of only one thing: Jughead would choose a cheeseburger over anybody.

“I don’t know.” Following behind him down the stairs to the kitchen.  “Haven’t been to the grocery store since you were here yesterday.”

“Oh!  There’s still leftover Pop’s in the fridge.” He pulled out two styrofoam containers from your fridge that you didn’t even know you had.  The oven beeped a little tune as he turned it on to reheat his food.

“Leftover?”

“Well, takeout.  From last night.”

“You have any onion rings?”

“Do you know who you’re speaking to?” You stared at him, deadpan. “Of course I got you onion rings.” He opened the smaller of the two takeout boxes, revealing a full pile of onion rings.

“Oh, just for me, huh?”

“No really do you even know who I am?” You rolled your eyes now.  “Of course I got more for myself than you.” You hummed in understanding, collapsing into a stool at the breakfast bar, the cool granite chilling you to your bones.  Shuddering, you lifted your head.  

“Jug?” He had left the kitchen for a second, returning a moment later with a blanket from the living room, wrapping it around your shoulders.  You moaned softly, tightening the plush throw around you and reveling in its warmth.  “Thank you.” He nodded.  Jughead had always been bad at the grandiose gestures, but you never questioned his love for you.  Especially with the little things, that in your mind always added up.  “Why’d you really stop by, Juggy?”

“I told you, you were on the way.” He insisted, turning away from your inquisitive gaze.  

“Mmhmm.” You made a quick pillow out of your arm wrapped in blanket, laying down.  “Scared me shitless, just ‘cause.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you like that,” he mumbled, finishing with a few more words you missed.

“Hm?”

“I said I didn’t mean to scare you,” he repeated.

“Well you did.  I think I peed myself a little.  And I cried.”

“You cried?” He asked.  “Well it’s good I came to check on you, then.”

“Aha!” You lifted your head sharply.  “You were worried about me.”

“No, you can take care of yourself.  I know you’re capable of that.” You nodded mockingly.  “Okay.  You’re home alone!  Someone was killed just a few months ago, yes I was worried about you.  It was dark and rainy and you were home all by yourself on a Friday night.  Figured checking up on you was better than not.”

“That’s real sweet, Jughead.” He swatted you away, turning back to the food that was slowly heating up in the oven.  You two stayed that way, in silence for a few minutes, before the loud ring of the timer disturbed the peace.  Your gaze, fixed on the marbled granite counter top, was soon consumed by the visual of a nearly disgusting portion of onion rings.  

“Soup’s on,” he joked wryly, sitting beside you.  You lifted your arm, engulfing him in the blanket too.  “Why thank you.”  And the two of you ate peacefully, the only sounds the drops of rain hitting the pavement outside.  

Maybe not all stormy nights were all bad.

◆ —— SHAMELESS (US) QUOTES STARTER PROMPTS.

PART. 2 [TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD]

  • When did you start to care? 
  • I’ve dreamt about your death; put money in a collection box and prayed for it; blew out my birthday candles, wished for it. If it actually ever happened, I’m not sure I’d feel relief or guilt.
  • What if I don’t want to change?
  • Don’t what? 
  • You’re a fucking pussy. 
  • You look like a baby rabbit when you sleep.
  • You’re getting careless. Don’t.
  • I just assumed we’d eventually decide how to move together like normal couples do.
  • But there never was a ‘we’.
  • People fuck up, that’s life.
  • Family is supposed to be forever. They’re supposed to take care of you, regardless of what you do. 
  • Please don’t be the guy that lies. 
  • I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. No need for any more character. 
  • I need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical and my money’s been on you. 
  • Anyone who’s been married knows that sex is downhill from there. 
  • Big toe is throbbing like blueballs that no blowjob can ever fix. 
  • She’s a skanky, manipulative bitch and you should unfriend her. 
  • The porn at my desk isn’t really porn. It was pictures of penises, but it was from a circumsision website. 
  • I’ve seen crazy and I’ve seen bad for kids. You aren’t either of those things.
  • Don’t forget to check for hair behind the grill. 
  • I realize you’ve had sketchy parental role models, but can we agree that offing people is not cool? 
  • That turned me off, periscope down. 
  • I want normal people problems. 
  • When you tried to get me to be intimate with three of your friends, it made me feel sad. 
  • So, thanks to me, you’ve been pistol whipped and shot in the ass. 
  • Alcohol is a gift.
  • All I’m gonna be thinking about when you choke me out is how much I love you. 
  • If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard you say that, I’d have one dime. 
  • I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just genetic. 
  • I know you think you’re helping, but as someone who has been in and out of the system care my entire life, I can tell you it’s a nightmare. 
  • I wasn’t sure I’d see you again. 
  • Nobody fucks with the [insert last name]
  • You buried a body and you stole from the federal government. You will never get out of prison. 
  • We could always adopt.
  • Girls take that hero stuff straight to the bank. 
  • The whole 'my dad is gay for your brother’ thing has thrown me outta loop. 
  • Giving or receiving? 
  • Doing things you don’t wanna do is how you make a relationship work. 
  • I know school was never your thing, but you’ve never been dumb. 
  • Asking him to pick me over them is asking me to change the thing I love most about him. 
  • She is a crazy bitch and not crazy bitch like you’re a crazy bitch. 
  • She once tried to beat me to death with a frozen fish because I asked for more broccoli. 
  • Kick ass, take names.. and don’t blow anyone. 
  • When you’re poor, the only way to make money is to scam it or steal it. 
  • You get along a lot better with a weapon and a kind word, than a kind word alone. 
  • If I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. 
  • My baby was stolen by my mom and her developmentally delayed boyfriend. 
  • He’s not my boyfriend. 
  • It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. 
  • I’m not going to let you throw him out like used Kleenex. 
  • She’s fragile.
  • She’s broken. 
  • I don’t wanna be me anymore. 
  • An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina? 
  • You gotta get me out of this car, I’m getting too horned up. 
  • I’m sorry, but now I gotta go pick up my wife’s boyfriend. 
  • Sometimes it’s not worth holding out. Life’s too short, why not just give in? 
  • Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? 
  • I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. 
  • Your mother was a real cunt. 
  • Circle doesn’t start with an S? What the fuck? 
  • Sometimes when I see the word hospice on the street, I pronounce it ho-spice. 
  • You’re lucky your moms dead. 
  • I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things and all 50 were when I was drunk. 
  • My testicles have never been my ally. 
  • Go fuck yourself. 
  • Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended. 
  • I’m sick of living in your shadow. 
  • I never thought I’d say this, but you were right. 
  • She said she had some personal business. I change her diaper, what’s more personal than that? 
  • How can you be so cold about this? 
  • Just for the record, a lot of great men have been well-lubricated. 
  • I’m not the reason your life is a piece of crap.
  • Your coochie smells like brimestone and Sulfur. 
  • One of my unspoken rules is you don’t fuck someone else when we’re on a date. 
  • You married a drug lord’s daughter to hang on to your ear? 
  • I don’t take bribes. 
  • Honey, you’re an alcoholic. 
  • Where can I get knives and blunts? 
  • You can’t control what goes on in the world. You can just choose to be a part of it everyday. 
  • Where I come from, it’s an honour to share your man. 
  • I’m gonna beat your ass like a pinata until candy falls out! 
  • You don’t love me.
  • You’re kinda growing on me. 
  • Dead people poop themselves. 
  • Where’s the money? 
  • It doesn’t make you a kept woman, it makes you a smart one. 
  • I’ll keep that in mind when I’m feeding my family dog food this winter. 
  • I can’t share a room with someone in constant state of arousal! 
  • Look at me. I can’t go to jail, I might as well wear heels. 
  • I’m gay. 
  • You just made my boy parts get bigger. 
  • Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore. 
  • Eat my ass!
  • Wanna see me make a mangina? 
  • You fucked my brother. 
  • Whores don’t get cars. 
  • I wouldn’t exactly call it an orgy, but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around. 
  • You wish you had a dick as big as mine! 
  • Are you gonna put those in my ass? 
  • If you do this for me, I will dress up any way you want. No safety word. 
  • I was raised by a pack of wolves. 
  • I certainly hope you’re not pooping in there. It’s a closet. 
  • Can I get you something? Milk? Soda? A joint? It’s medicinal. 
  • Like you in the sack, make it quick. 
  • Did you purposely order a Sex on the Beach so I’d say it to the gay bartender? 
  • No. No way. I can’t handle anything in my ass without alcohol. 
  • The beard gets me laid. 
  • I haven’t had a drink for two days. Well, granted, I was unconscious. 
  • You’re hot, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with a dude. 
  • He was warm, like the inner thighs of an overworked hooker. 
  • He may look like he’s in a boy band, but he’s got a point. 
  • Let’s be honest, she’s my last chance at happiness, and that’s more important than video games and masturbation, right? 
  • I am not a religious man, but every now and then, a child comes along who makes me believe in the existence of Satan. 
  • I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you. 
  • Keep laughing, or I will slit your throat in your sleep. 
  • Brush your teeth, I wanna play. 
  • Other than the presents and the booze, can you tell me three good reasons we should get married? 
  • Oh, don’t mind me. I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one. 
  • Well, if you need me, I’ll be in the bushes across the street stalking you.
Fic Recs

It occurred to me today that I should do these more often.  I love reading fic and while I remember to leave kudos and often yell in excitement at the authors, I rarely make lists like these.  So in light of the recent climate and wanting to spread some positivity for fics and writers, here is a list of some fics that I’ve read and enjoyed recently.  Maybe you’ll find some new authors to check out.  I hope that you do, and if you enjoy what you read, please consider leaving kudos and (positive) feedback.  We authors thrive on that.  Some may even say we find it inspiring :))

Has The Ocean Lost It’s Way by @fullonlarrie (Ummm Surfer Louis, need I say more?)

Louis and Liam are professional surfers who have been traveling the world together for years. Now they travel with Liam’s pro-surfer girlfriend Amelia and their baby Vivian. They’re in Manly Beach, Sydney to compete in the 2017 Australia Open of Surfing when Louis meets Harry, a freelance surf photographer working for Surfer Magazine.

Louis wonders if his nomadic lifestyle will keep him single indefinitely or if there’s someone out there who’ll fit in with his little makeshift family.

Them Butterflies by @gaycousinlarry (I haven’t gushed to you enough to express how much I loved this fic!!)

To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end.

This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again.

I’ll put the rest under the cut!!

Keep reading

Keep on Living (chapter 3) Lin Manuel x Reader

Part 3 is finally here and features a Very Angry Lin as requested, thanks to everyone for reading my very first Lin fic.  Part 4 will be up super soon!

Part 1 | Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: Your boyfriend is an abusive asshole and you’ve been trying to hide it from Lin and everyone else. After turning up to the Richard Rogers where you work with a black eye and bruised wrists you tell Pippa that you’ve been mugged, but you get the feeling that Lin seems to know what really happened. Lin gets over-protective and you end up feeling really confused. On a night out with with the girls you drunkenly admit to Pippa that you think Lin is cute, and Jasmine records a video messaged standing up to your unknown attacker.

(I’m an abuse survivor myself. Not all abuse is the same, and so this fic is not meant to be a universal experience.

To anyone that may be experiencing abuse then my inbox is always open and I will always believe you. Tell a friend or a relative if you are able to. And there are many support lines depending on your town/state/country, talking to someone helps. Stay safe.)

Warnings - I’m adding a trigger warning for some mentions of emotional and physical abuse.

Word count - 2226

———-

When you turn your phone on that morning it practically explodes in a flurry of messages.

Jasmine: Hey girl, I heard you called in sick today. Are you still really hungover?

Pippa: Are you ok? I heard you’re sick. Don’t worry, nobody has mentioned the video. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Lin: Apparently you aren’t coming in today so I don’t get to see you? AWFUL! Feel better, we all miss you. I hope you’re ok X

Lin: Dr Miranda prescribes hot sweet tea, a blanket fort, and The Little Mermaid. Take care of yourself please xxx

Lin: If you need anything let me know. I’m gonna be near your apartment today and I can bring round supplies.

Lin: Hey I’m on your block, do you need anything?

Lin: Are you ok? I don’t think you’re ok.

You throw your phone down on the bed. It’s the first time you’ve switched it on in 48 hours since you called Alex and told him you weren’t well enough to come to work. You’re honestly amazed that you still have friends with how anti-social you are being at the moment, but you haven’t been able to face anyone.

You’re surprised that none of Lin’s messages comment on the video Jasmine put on twitter a few nights ago. A video of you drunkenly admitting he was cute, but you’re thankful that he’s choosing to ignore that. Or maybe he never even saw the full video since Pippa took it down straight away.

You head into the theater that morning, grateful that the bruising on your face from last week is now fading. You draw less attention as you walk down the halls now. Lying about a fake mugging had made you feel so uneasy and you were relieved that you could make it to the office you shared with Alex without having to stop and talk about it.

“Hey Y/N , we didn’t expect to see you today!” Alex called cheerfully as you headed into the office. Lin was sitting on the beat up sofa, his laptop in front of him. He jumped up from the sofa, seeming surprised by your presence.

“You’re alive!” He grinned coming over to meet you. He hesitated for second, and there was a moment of awkwardness before he smiled and pulled you into a hug. “We missed you” He said, giving you a squeeze and you held your breath.

“Yeah, I can see!” You said dumping your bag down on the desk and eyeing the pile of paperwork awaiting your attention. “Aww Alex, you shouldn’t have!”

“Oops, yeah sorry about that.” Alex said as he quickly cleared another pile of papers from your chair for you to sit on. “We’ve got 8 new chorus members starting rehearsals on Monday and so the paperwork is sorta piling up.”

“Nah it’s fine” You shrugged, “I’m honestly just so happy to be back, I was getting cabin fever cooped up at home, it was driving me crazy.”

“Oh so that’s why you were ignoring my messages then?” Lin teased.

“Oh, god I’m sorry, I had my phone switched off, I was too sick to focus on a screen.” You were so used to lying now, you were surprised at how naturally it came to you.

“I dropped round a couple of times to see you. Mark said you didn’t want any visitors but I thought I’d keep trying.” Lin’s eyes darkened slightly and he looked at you as though he was trying to figure something out.

“Oh sorry, um yeah, I guess I must have been really out of it. I’m sorry” You once again found yourself unable to make eye contact with him as you deflected his concern. “You didn’t miss much much tho, just a sweatier sicklier me drowning in a sea of tissues and cough syrup, you dodged a bullet there.” You grinned weakly.

Lin’s eyes softened as he accepted your lie and he clapped his hands, snapping you out of the awkwardness.

“Well! Since you’ve been ignoring me, Me and Lac have been hatching a plan for Ham 4 Ham today. You in?”

Alex chuckled to himself “Don’t say yes to anything until he’s told you his plans.” He gathered his folders from his desk and headed out, leaving you alone with an over excited Lin.

“Ignore him.” Lin grinned, “You’re gonna love this. Or maybe you’ll hate this, I don’t know.”

You rolled your eyes and prepared for the worst. Your afternoons were often filled with vetting Lin’s ideas for new Ham4Ham shows. Some of which were brilliant, some of which were not, and thankfully between you and Alex, you could try and steer Lin in the right direction.

“Ok, so how well do you know Backstreet Boys?”

You laughed so hard you actually snorted. You held your hand up to your mouth, still laughing. “I’m sorry, that was NOT what I was expecting you to say at all”

Lin raised his eyebrows in mock indignation. “ I would NEVER joke about the Backstreet Boys” he exclaimed.

Lin went on to explain his idea for staging a performance of Backstreet’s Back complete with choreography for this afternoon’s Ham4Ham.

“Look, if you need me to show you the moves then all you had to do is ask” you laughed

“Ha! You know I love the fact that you spent all of senior year practicing Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation in your bedroom, I’m not doubting your skills, but we had a run through yesterday and I think we’re gonna be ok.” He chided while biting his lip.

The fact that he’d remembered your high school Janet Jackson obsession made you beam. It was something you’d geekily admitted on your very first day in rehearsals with him. Why? Because being around Lin brought out embarrassing admissions of your geeky obsessions, and he never mocked. His eyes had grown big and his face lit up in excitement and and he’d waved his arms in the air exclaiming “Me too!”. And from that moment onwards you knew you were in the right place. The fact that he’d remembered this little detail strangely gave you butterflies and you smiled to yourself.

You held your hands up “Ok ok, so you don’t need my dancing skills then.”

“No but we do need some accompaniment” Lin smiled.

“Fine!” You said, secretly happy to have something more fun to work on than the piles of paperwork Alex had left for you.

“I’ll get the melodica, hey give me a hand will you?”

You gestured up to a crate on the top of the bookshelves in your office marked ‘Ham4Ham gear.’ The crate was full of toy musical instruments, a set of megaphones, props, and some bits of costumes. It had become more of a lost and found box of novelty items which Lin and Alex added to weekly, as each Ham4Ham got more adventurous and silly.

You pulled over a chair to stand on which wobbled. Lin grabbed the chair to hold it in place as you climbed up.

“Shit!”

The chair immediately swayed and Lin put his other hand out holding your waist to stop you falling off. You gasped, not expecting his hands, you flinched slightly and wondered if Lin had noticed.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,thanks. Sorry this chair is a piece of shit” you laughed nervously. You noticed his hand remained on your waist. Your skin tingled and you swallowed nervously.

You stretched out your arm trying to grab the crate which was just out of reach when Lin yelled “Fuck!”.

Lin’s hands had disappeared from your waist and you looked down at him, his eyes were wild, and he stepped back from the chair. He was staring at you. Staring at your waist. You looked down and noticed your shirt had ridden up above your stomach as you’d reached up. You quickly pulled down your shirt and stepped down from the chair. It was too late. He’d seen it.

“Fuck!” Lin said, this time in a whisper.

You looked at the floor. You couldn’t look at him. No, no, no. Not now. 

“Show me.” Lin said, breathlessly. He was still staring at your waist.

“Lin, please, I can’t.” You shook your head in a panic.

He looked up at you, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth tensed. “Show me” He commanded.

You gulped, it’s like you had forgotten how to breathe. His eyes never left yours and there was nothing left for you to do but show him.

Slowly you reached down, grabbing the corner of your shirt, nervously pulling it up to reveal your stomach and looking away. Lin gasped, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

Your stomach was blue and purple. An enormous bruise covered your belly, your waist and stretched round to your back. The bruise on your face from the previous week had faded, this was brand new, shiny, and dark.

You forced yourself to look at Lin who was still studying your skin in shock, you felt naked and exposed and you pulled your shirt down. Lin still stared at your waist through your clothes, unable to look away. Wispy strands of hair had fallen loose from his pontytail and hung in his eyes, you noticed his arms were locked by his side, his hands gripped tightly into fists.

“It wasn’t a mugging was it?” He said quietly

You shook your head, tears in your eyes and you tried to hold yourself together. You’d been trying not to fall apart all week, but you could feel yourself on the verge of unravelling.

“Who did this?” Lin asked, his mouth open in shock, his eyes set in anger, He already knew.

“I can’t.. Please I can’t do this now.”

“Who did this?” He asked again, his face darkened like thunder.

You couldn’t speak. You could barely breathe. You reached out to hold the chair to steady yourself.

“It was Mark wasn’t it?” Lin’s voice cracked.

You swallowed hard and closed your eyes. You nodded your head and a tear slipped down your cheek.

“Fuck.” Lin whispered.

“Lin I’m sorry, I couldn’t.. I didn’t know how to tell anyone. I’m sorry…”

Lin cut you off, he started shaking his head, pushing back his hair into his messy ponytail with both hands. His eyes were wild and he began muttering under his breath, violently spitting out a rapid mixture of English and Spanish, the hatred and anger flashing across his face.

“Fuck. Fucking motherfucker! No I’m gonna kill him…Hijo de puta…Mark es un maldito cabron…I fucking knew it!…Voy a matarlo… Hijo de la gran puta… Es una mierda!”

“Lin, please!” You begged, biting back tears and trying not to lose it.

Your voice brought him back and he stopped to look at you. He saw the panic in your face and the tears you’d tried so hard to keep in now falling freely down your cheeks and he took a breath.

“I’m sorry” He said shaking his head, his eyes softened realizing how scared you looked. “I’m sorry.”

He wrapped his arms around you, placing his hand gently on the back of your head and you finally allowed yourself to fall apart. Your face pressed into his shoulder and you sobbed, and you felt like you wouldn’t stop. He stroked your hair, holding you together.

“It’s ok, it’s ok, que sepas que estoy aquí “ he said in a soft soothing voice. It was a while before you could breathe. You steadied yourself and pulled away, embarrassed by the damp patch you’d left on his hoodie. You reached out for the chair to sit down while Lin grabbed you a box of tissues from the desk.

“You knew didn’t you?” You asked after a deep breath.

Lin puffed his cheeks and sighed while shaking his head.

“I don’t know… I thought I knew. I mean, I didn’t want to believe it. I just knew something was wrong. I knew there was more to the mugging but I didn’t know what, and I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.”

“He told me nobody would believe me if I tried to tell anyone what he’d done. He said I deserved it. He said…” Your voice broke, you weren’t ready to go into detail yet.

Lin knelt down in front of you, placing one hand over yours, and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ears as he spoke.

“You did not deserve this. I believe you.” He spoke slowly and gently. There was still a rage behind his eyes, but his voice was calm and soothing. You stared blankly at him. You didn’t have words. You smiled faintly and nodded.

“All this because of that stupid video” You muttered.

Lin looked at you puzzled.

“Jasmine uploaded this dumb video of us from the other night. We were drunk. In the video she basically recorded this big fuck you message to whoever attacked me. Mark said we were laughing at him, that we humiliated him and…”

You trailed off, leaving out the part where Mark had also seen you drunkenly admit on camera that you thought Lin was cute. How he’d called you a slut and a whore that evening, how he’d told you this was your punishment.

Lin begain muttering under his breath in Spanish again “…Hijo de puta” His face hardened and he shook his head, clutching your hand tighter.

“You did not deserve this.” He repeated, his voice firm and his eyes darkened.

You nodded silently and he gently traced small circles with his thumb across your hands.

You sniffed and wiped your eyes, breathing deep and trying to focus.

“Alex is gonna be back soon, I’ve got to get it together.”

You stood up and flattened down your hair. You needed to slip back into the role of someone who has their shit together. Even if it was just for a day.

“Y/N I don’t think you should be at work, this is too much.”

“No this is exactly what I need right now, I need to keep busy, I need to work, I need to not think about this for a day.”

Lin sighed, scraping back more strands of hair from his face. “Ok. But we haven’t finished talking about this yet, and you aren’t going home tonight.”

Panic flashed in your eyes. “If I don’t go home tonight he’ll know something is wrong. He’ll kill me! I think he’ll actually kill me.” Your voice sounded small, you barely recognized yourself.

“No.” He said with a resigned look in his eyes. “You’re coming home with me tonight. You are safe. He’s not coming near you again. I promise.”

———-

Part 4 is coming soon here! and then I’m gonna write some smut, I swear!

K-HipHop and K-R&B Appreciation Post (male ver.)

Hey guys, I’ve been listening to k-hiphop and k-r&b for awhile now, so I figured it was a good time to compile a list of my favorite artists, my favorite songs by them, and what I think about them. Obviously, this is just my opinion and of course it won’t include EVERYONE that I listen to (even if I really enjoyed someone’s album or something like that) because that would genuinely be waaayyyy too long of a post. (im doing this to save both myself and you tbh so just nod your head and act like you agree with this statement thanks). 

PSA: every song title is hyperlinked even if it doesn’t look like it. hmu if one of the links aren’t working.

*music cue* I’M STARTING


DEAN

I have been a fan of Dean since the very beginning, so I’m really happy for him and how far he’s come. He is getting more and more popular and has been more and more active in the performance scene.I really like his flow and the command he expresses over his songs.

If I had to choose a favorite song by him I really can’t because I enjoyed the ENTIRETY of his first mini album, 130 mood trbl. BUY IT GUYS– IT BLESSES MY EARS SO MUCH.

Aaaaanndd as a bonus, I’m going to include some songs he featured on that I really enjoyed:

1. Heize- And July (ft. Dean, DJ Friz)

2. Zico- Bermuda Triangle (ft. Dean, Crush)

3. Suran- 1+1=0 (ft. Dean)


CRUSH

Is there really any need for me to explain why I enjoy Crush’s music? You know those people that you can’t explain why you like their music? Well, he’s one of them for me. He’s Crush, come on. He’s got a cute dog and everything. 

Favorite Crush song? Well, friends, I’m going to have to split it into out of new releases and older released. For the former: Outside (ft. Beenzino) or Woo ah. For the latter: Hug Me (ft. Gaeko) or Sofa

Bonus songs that he featured in (I’m not going to include Bermuda Triangle since it’s already in Dean’s section):

1. Sik-K- party(SHUT DOWN) (ft. Crush)

2. DPR LIVE-Laputa (ft. Crush)

3. Dean- what2do (ft. Crush x Jeff Bernat)


ZION.T

(What’s a list with Crush if it hasn’t got Zion.T on it?) I got to see my man Zion.T perform live at KCON17NY this year and I just want to say that he is as amazing live as he is on a soundtrack. I really enjoy his voice and I think that his voice is nothing short of MAGICAL. Also, how could you not like a guy whose (sun)glasses are surgically attached to his face?

It’s not hard for me to choose my favorite Zion.T song: Eat, though, Yanghwa BRDG is a close second.  

Now, for the bonus songs that he’s that he’s featured on:

1. Zico- Eureak (ft. Zion.T)

2. Gaeko- No Make Up (ft. Zion.T, HA:TFELT)

Now this last song, Zion.T isn’t listed on the title, but he sings the last verse SO:

3. Crush- Oasis (ft. Zico)



LOCO

While I don’t know much about Loco, but I really enjoyed the ENTIRETY his new album, Bleached, so I thought I would include him on the list.

And as a shameless plug for my boy Yonghwa’s new album, I will also be including the new song Loco featured on:

1. Jung Yonghwa (of CNBLUE)- That Girl (ft. Loco)



TIGER JK

IT’S TIGER JK, THE GODFATHER OF KOREAN RAP. WHAT KIND OF LIST WOULD THIS BE IF I DIDN’T INCLUDE HIM. I can’t even THINK of not including him. He’s such a good guy. Loves his wife, his kid, fights against child abuse, and  wanted to use hip hop as a form of discourse between the Korean-American community and African-American community after witnessing the  violence between Korean-Americans and African-Americans during the 1992 Los Angeles Riots as a teenager.

My favorite song by him is: Reset (ft. Jinsil of Mad Soul Child). (I know, a lot of people were expecting a different song, but this one really is my absolute favorite by him. I wasn’t expecting it and it just WHAMMED me.) Druken Tiger- Monster is a close second, though.

Now, for my bonus for him, I’m not including songs he’s featured in, but rather just MFBTY. I’m linking my favorite MFBTY song, Sweet Dream.  MFBTY (My Fans are Better Than Yours) is a group created between Yoon Mirae/ Tasha Reid, Tiger JK, and Bizzy.


TABLO

I’ve got to include this man who is adorably whipped for his daughter (the way I’m whipped for his works, lol). I love his works; to me, this man is a true poet. Every time I hear a work from him, I am astounded at the beauty of what he produces. While Tablo is the leader of the iconic Epik High, I’m including him on this list with his solo artist releases. 

My favorite Tablo song has got to be, without a doubt Bad ft. (Jinsil of Mad Soul Child). AAANNNNDDDD both of his solo albums, Fever’s End: Part 1 and Part 2

Bonus: Tablo covering Taeyang’s Eyes, Nose, Lips (in English) and making it even more of a work of art than it already was. 



MAD CLOWN

Favorite Mad Clown song? Hands down will always be Fire (ft. Jinsil of Mad Soul Child) <–have you noticed my trend of loving anything with her in it :D). The music video has Hani of EXID in it, bc last time I checked, Jinsil didn’t want to be in the MV. Other than that particular song, I thoroughly enjoyed Coffee Copy Girl. He says hilarious things on his tracks, too, (”roses really smells like poop”)  😂

Bonus songs that he’s featured collabed on: lol does this man even feature on anything? I only see him collabing with other artists 😂 so here is are 3 collabs of his to check out:

1. Mad Clown, Kim Nayoung- Once Again (DOTS soundtrack)

2. Mad Clown, San E- Sour Grapes

and one song that is his anyways, but has Hyorin featuring on lol 😂 😂:

3. Mad Clown- Without You (ft. Hyorin of SISTAR)



DPR LIVE

DPR WE GANG GANG. He made his debut by just releasing his first mini album in March: Coming to you Live. It was AH-MAZING. I really like his flow and what he seems to be doing as an artist. Actually, one of his song’s is listed earlier on this list because it featured Crush.

My favorite song from the entirety of the album would have to be Know Me (ft. Dean).

Bonus songs that he featured on:

1. Eung Freestyle with Sik-K, Punchnello, Owen Ovadoz & Flowsik (Yes, he was indeed a part of that iconic Youtube ad)

2. Loco- Movie Shoot (ft. DPR Live) (this is off of Loco’s new album that I spoke about earlier)


Thanks for reading until the end! I’ll be doing a female version soon enough–this post took me forever (a few weeks lol) to compile, so I can only assume the female version will take just as long. Send suggestions to my inbox if you want to.

Girl, I guess {TVD 8x16 Review}

OK guys, this is the last time I will have to warn the TVD fandom about writing in real time! Here it goes: You all know the drill, I write my thoughts in real time which means if I make any mistakes at the beginning of my review, I might have rectified them at the end. This will include: anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. It will most likely reference other TV shows including Kdramas and may include observations of the show’s anti-blackness and racism. Are you ready? Let’s. Go. 

1. That SC kiss is still awful. Slow-mo it all you want guys, it’s just going to accentuate how awful it was.

2. Kinda salty that the hotel’s wifi isn’t much better than the data on my phone.

3. Seriously, Vicki and Kelly being in hell makes no sense.

4. “The magic was too much for her” HOW THOUGH? Bonnie did way more strenuous magic in freaking season 2. LIKE?

5. “No no no no no”, Stefan is panicking that Bonnie might be dead and Caroline’s just like, Oh. I know we all talk about how Paul has checked out but what the fuck has Candice been doing?

6. So like why is Elena in a random ass wood in a random ass white bed? Is this what Bonnie’s world looks like? Because I thought it was a rundown Mystic Grill.

7. Nina’s wig is AWFUL.

8. How would Elena seeing Bonnie make Elena think Bonnie is dead though? Like, isn’t it just that if Bonnie dies, Elena wakes up? Who said anything about meeting each other in a random ass forest before Bonnie dies?

9. So Elena doesn’t even blink an eye when Bonnie tells her “I can be with Enzo now”? Like she just accepts that her friend is going to die to be with someone who was an enemy when Elena was awake?

10. How does Enzo have the power to bring Bonnie back to life? Is Enzo an angel? LIKE? Rules DO need to exist, Julie.

11. The look of relief on Stefan’s face when Bonnie wakes up is so nice to see.

12. Vicki, stop talking. I also like how no one has tried to tie her up to keep her from ringing the bell. Just because you can’t kill her doesn’t mean you can’t contain her.

13. “I can’t go back there, you don’t know what it’s like” because the show literally hasn’t shown us anything.

14. How predictable is it that the DE reunion is really a DK reunion, oh! Like season 1 when he thought he was kissing Elena! CLEVER. Like 100 anons came into in my inbox like, I bet it’s Katherine, the moment that reunion aired. Well, at least Damon realized it was Katherine this time, you know, after hugging her and being all, “You’re both OK.”

15. It is so tacky they made her say, “Hello brothers.” Like omg, why isn’t it over yet

16. So Katherine is in Elena’s dress. Is Elena just naked somewhere? And she straightened her hair, like how much time did she have to do this?

17. “Her PHYSICAL body” I do miss seeing Paul and Nina onscreen together again, that “so over it” attitude is very reminiscent of season 2 and the delivery was hilarious.

18. Although this Katherine is a little off, she actually seems a little more unhinged, like the way Nina says, “the devil” in that tone and “Why do you think he wanted you? Because I  wanted you. DUH.” Like this is probably the first time I’ve been like so you’re crazy.

19. I don’t know why but Stefan is making me laugh so far. Damon is all “Dammit Katherine” and Stefan’s HAD IT, he’s just like YO let me stab this bitch “We gotta find, Elena, let’s go” and he LEAVES. Like he’s ready to go into battle. It also makes me feel like it’s Paul rushing to finish a scene like, “It’s the last episode, Ian, let’s GO.”

20. CAROLINE. VAMP SPEED. Walking down the stairs with a teddybear all chill and shit.

21. This is so low energy, Alaric and Caroline should be yelling at the top of their lungs, like if you want me to believe this is life or death then the characters needs to be amped, they need to be scared and frenzied, this feels like any other fight in any other episode.

22. Alaric, seriously, demote Caroline to Auntie because that’s how she acts with those twins anyway.

23. At least Katherine took the time to dress Elena in a shirt, a cardigan and jeans. It’s very thoughtful of her.

24. Me at Stefan’s face when he sees Elena on the ground:

25. So Katherine’s hair is suddenly curly again? Does she have superpowers?

26. Oh great. The fact that Katherine said Elena would choose Stefan over Damon just confirms that Elena will in fact choose Damon over Stefan. Just had to spit in the SErs’ faces one last time, I guess.

27. Lol watch Katherine actually be Silas getting into everyone’s heads and voicing their deepest fears. Again.

28. I want to feel something about this SC scene but I’m legit bored. “Please, please don’t make me leave you, please,” was sweet. That’s about it.

29. Like I’ve seen Stefan emotionally distraught at having to part ways with Elena:

and I know SErs are upset over the “I love you so much” but it’s not this:

30. It really doesn’t feel like the “world” is coming to an end, everyone is actually pretty chill. Like the season 2 finale of Buffy was the world ending (again) and everyone is freaking the fuck out:

and this is just like, Elena is unconscious, Matt allows Vicki to ring a bell that will bring hellfire and there’s the slowest evacuation in the world. We don’t even see randoms freaking out in the street. Whatever.

31. Of course Bonnie is staying behind.

32. “Downtown Mystic Falls”, I mean I guess. As the crow flies? WHO WROTE THIS. You are NOT in Lord of the Rings.

33. So I’m confused about this plan, Bonnie is going to redirect hell fire through the tunnels away from MF into hell … so these tunnels lead into hell? Bonnie knows where hell is? The fire won’t destroy the tunnels?

34. Aw, Paul is acting! But yeah his speech to Damon is meh because Damon doesn’t deserve shit.

35. Considering that vampire blood can’t work on people who have ingested the cure, why would compulsion?

36. Why would I care about a Donovan family reunion?

37. So Grams is still around even though the Other Side is gone?

38. Bonnie pulled a Gandalf. “You shall not pass.”

39. Sorry, it was supposed to be a powerful scene but like nah.

40. So a bunch of black women who I’m guessing are the Bennett clan are pushing the hell fire away to protect a town that does not acknowledge their existence. Mmkay.

41. “He’s the better man, he’s the right man.” LOL EXCEPT NOT. HOW? Because he was FINALLY willing to sacrifice himself after almost two centuries?

42. He probably whispered something about loving Caroline to Elena.

43. I feel like I’m supposed to be sad that Stefan is dead but like I’ve seen this coming for a while.

44. LOL Magic School/Hogwarts where Jeremy teaches, this is SO BAD.

45. I’m sorry but these “peaces” just look like individual prison worlds.

What an AWFUL series finale, like it was SO BAD. I can’t even, I mean it’s laughably bad but like THIS is how you’re ending a supernatural series? WHAT DID I JUST WATCH? Nothing happened! Stefan sacrifices himself to make sure Katherine’s in hell when the fire comes but he dies when the fire goes through the tunnels so why wouldn’t Katherine just be dead if they kept her tied down in the tunnels when the fire came? And then Caroline and Alaric open a boarding school for magical kids in which Jeremy teaches for absolutely no reason and Klaus is a donor because why not and Vicki finally achieves nothingness except nothingness is peace with Tyler somewhere even though Tyler basically treated her like trash and the Other Side is gone so how they’re still watching the living is beyond me. And then Bonnie travels the world and that somehow makes her happy as if she hadn’t traveled before. Matt got a bench, good for you Matt. And Elena goes to med school and has a happy life with Damon we don’t see and then they die and each of them spend their peace not with each other and it ends. Like … why tho? How does this make sense as ending? I should’ve been drunk for this. Plus side is, Stefan has still only called Elena the love of his life.

Since I am at my last level with the frak Goy are giving Gal Gadot with her being in the IDF especially today let me the Jewish Person Educate you before you drag her in the mud.

1) Israel has been always been an important part of our culture and our religion. It is the foreground of our founding. It is considered the promised land the holy center of Jewish Culture…basically, just like Mecca is the center of Muslim Faith, Israel is the center of Jewish faith. So Naturally, because Israel is our Holy Land, almost every Jew including Gal Gadot and myself is going to probably support the safety and well being of Israel.

2) Israel was created because a jackass named Adolf Hitler decided to systematically terminate us one by one  We were killed by the Millions and those still alive were fucked up by it for the rest of their lives. Many of us tried to run and were turned away leaving of this and left to die. [EDIT: we also faced discrimination in other countries which even drove us out] Because of this The UN created this nation so let’s say Trump gets impeached and God-Fearing-Mike Pence becomes our president and Pence’s wrath turns out to extend to Jews. Israel will be there for people to run to god forbid we have another Shoah.So again, knowing the world is a scary place, having somewhere to run to makes us Jewish people feel better

3) Israel is a small country. Like even New York has more people than Israel and from the beginning of the Country’s inception, anti semetic hatred had fueled wars. It is because of this Israel cannot afford the luxury of having a volunteer Army. It is because of this EVERY SINGLE ISRAELI CITIZEN MUST SERVE AT LEAST 3 YEARS IN THE ARMY FROM THE TIME THEY ARE 18. Some Israelis who immigrate to other countries choose not to, but it means if they travel to Israel they have a limit before they are automaticly enlisted. Therefore Gal Gadot did not go to the army by choice. Even if she did, some of your favorite Actors: Adam Driver, Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones and LEONARD NIMOY were part of the US Army, who had been bombing the shit out of Middle Eastern and Asian Countries for years, BY CHOICE! Why do these male US Soldiers get a free pass and Gal Gadot who was required by Law doesn’t? Oh let me think -cough Antisemtism-cough–cough-

Also not all Israelis once they do their required training are shipped off to war during their service. On my birthright trip we had some soldiers join us as part of the program, one was a doctor, another trained other soldiers, hell ONE OF THE WOMEN WAS A SOCIAL WORKER IN A PRISON HELPING OTHERS GET BACK ON THEIR FEET. So Millitary doesn’t necessarily mean killing people! It means helping other citizens. Gal Gadot could have never seen the battlefield for all we know!

and fourth and Finally

4) I am not sure Gal Gadot straight up said this, but while I admit I have a family memember who is racist as hell, but we don’t want people dying in the crossfire between this endless and bloody war. Just like we know the size of ISIS is compared to the size of a tiny pebble to the worldwide Muslim population and therefore doesn’t reflect Muslims as a whole, alot of us don’t believe Palestine should be condemned for the actions of Hamas. Hell it breaks my heart there are innocent victims dying on both sides and everyone has to grow up in such war. At this point I dont care if Israel and Palestine combines into a super country as long as my people still can visit our holy sites and we have a safe place to go if the goy attack. Basically the point of this is final point is not all of us want to kill everyone when we say good things about Israel, we want peace and safety for the people in the Gaza as much as you do. And Gal Gadot i think said she wanted peace and the killing to stop as well.

Anyway I hope this post coming from an actual Jewish person will help educate you and understand before you drag Gal in the mud. And honestly, I don’t care if I lose followers over this, I tried and I educated and thats all that matters to me.

If you have any questions feel free to come to my inbox, I am always welcomed to statements and questions as long as long as I dont get “YOU MURDEROUS SWINE“ comment [that’s totally unkosher -drumsnare-]

Shalom and have a blessed day.

thedeathoftrust replied to your post “Me, writing a post, any post, it’s not a specific post anymore, just…”

Honestly I think you should make an announcement that you’ll start name dropping because I think these people are doing it bc they know you’re nice and you won’t do anything, they see it as you just take it, ya know? I don’t think it reflects poorly on you to just, share their message because this is the internet and they released those words into the ether, the universe can decide their consequences

Oh I never said I was nice. I said I try to be good. There’s a profound difference between those two things. 

Those who have been with me long enough, know that I take a hard line stance on not naming and shaming people in my inbox for several reasons, one being that I have been doxxed before, and have had people attempt to doxx me recently, either because of something I have said that they do not agree with or because they just plain don’t like me. And it’s a terrifying experience I do not wish to ever inflict on anyone, intentionally or otherwise. 

And I think some seem to mistakenly think that because I don’t publicly broadcast the person’s name, that I am simply rolling over and taking it, when the truth is, I’m just not comfortable with having other people do my dirty work for me.

Sometimes people need someone to talk to, they just don’t realize it till someone tries. There’s a few of my current followers who started out sending me hate mail only to end up still here four years later and still talking to me every now and then to let me know how they are getting on. It’s worth it for that alone.

Others are just trolling and get blocked.

A rare few are just trying to provoke me into posting their details publicly cause they want to prove there’s no such thing as good people and I’m lying when I say I care about others. I like to call these ones The Edgelords, and they are another reason for why I strive so very hard not to crack because fuck playing into that kind of bleak cynicism. I do not grant them that power over me. 

Persistent individuals who have made multiple accounts and used VPNs to get around me blocking them, have on occasion found themselves at the frayed ends of my patience. And it’s amazing, how quickly the facade collapses when you address someone by name. More often than not you’re left talking to a very scared and very lonely individual who just doesn’t know how to fix their life. Rarely do they persist after this gentle reminder that hey, I am a human, you are a human, we should be humane to one another.

For those who still don’t relent, well, they’ve found themselves subject to the real world coming back to bite them on the ass, either through work, their school or their parents. I’ve emailed colleges to ask if {Insert Name Here’s} behavior is a reflection of their core beliefs and values. I’ve talked to parents who just couldn’t believe what their child was doing online and were mortified.

I had one kid who I was certain was going to shoot up his school after I found his reddit account and I called the local police.

So what some people might see as me protecting people who are undeserving of my radio silence…I like to think of it as one last choice.

And sometimes they choose to say sorry.

Teen Dad Three [Finale Part 2 of 2]

Teen Dad Three [Finale Part 2 of 2]

Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: mentions of baby makin’ stuff but it’s not bad


 Tagged: [teen dad series] @nell-under-a-microscope @bookworm06

@dailyavenging  @purveyor-of-the-words @bubbles2428@briannareneea985

@andreuskystuff @alaskayoung-x @twilight-loveer @alexafromthefandom @cutie1365 @wannabe-weasley@littlemisscaptainfandom  @left-boob-chris  @mary-19  @arfrona @andreuskystuff 

@ultimatefangirl250

[For all Tom/Peter fics] @smazztastic @rubyeun @blueberryprincess10 @marvel-imagines-yes-please @ekjane

{Everything} @pinkynerd @im-a-screwedup-mess @lightlysaltedhoneyroasted

Sorry if I forgot you! Please let me know if I left you out or if you want to be tagged or removed. (Please let me know what you want to be tagged to) I’m new to this tagging thing haha and my inbox was full of a lot of Teen Dad part requests so things got confusing. :)


A/N: The last one! Ugh, this was such a fun fic to write. Please please please let me know what you think! And any request for Teen Dad becomes a Teen Dad? Where he actually becomes it aka when reader goes into labor? Who wants to see panicky Peter, freaking out about everything and getting more anxious than the reader? Haha

But seriously, let me know if you guys like this one, and how it made you feel or whatever. Teen Dad was my most popular fic, it’s actually crazy how popular it got, I totally didn’t expect this. Anyways, I love you guys lots!

Teen Dad | Teen Dad Two |

  Teen Dad Three [Finale Part 1 out of 2]


“Ms. (Y/l/n), you have a guest.” The nurse said, not even looking at you but the clipboard in front of her.

You had tear stains on your cheeks, you looked at the door waiting for May to walk in, but someone else you didn’t expect went in instead.

“Peter?”

“(Y/n).” He said, running towards you.

“Wh– what happened love?”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, ignoring his question.

“May left her phone and I answered it. You were crying and panicking, what happened?”

He looked at you, both hands holding your face, his thumb caressing your cheek.

His eyes were scanning your face, trying to figure out what’s wrong.

“I– is it the… ” he asked, you nod your head, tears spilling out again.

“Shh shh, it’s okay,” he said, your head buried in his stomach as you cried and cried and cried.

“What did the doctor say?” You lift your head up to face him.

“He– he hasn’t, told me anything yet.”

“Then why are you so upset if you’re not certain of what’s happening yet darling?”

“Because–”

“Because what?”

“Because the same thing happened to my mom when I was younger.” You blurt out fast.

“Can you tell me exactly what happened?”

You sniff, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

“When I was little, my– my mom got pregnant, and I was going to be an older sister. I didn’t want to be an older sister. I– I didn’t want the baby. An– and then, my– my mom started bleeding one day.”

You couldn’t get the words out, Peter still looked at you, waiting for you to finish.

“Baby, it’s okay if you don’t wa–”

“And then she lost the baby. That’s what happened. She was so upset and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I– I saw her crying for days. And now– and now I know how she feels.”

You looked at Peter, “I woke up today, when I passed out on the couch, and I was bleeding. I– I don’t want to lose this baby Peter.”

Peter felt a tear roll down his cheek, he wiped it away quickly.

Sitting on the bed beside you, Peter hugged you, crying as he did.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying what I said. I don’t want to be the reason why we lost our baby. I never said I didn’t want it. I’m just not ready.” Peter pulls away from you and looks you in the eyes.

“But baby, I would do my best to take care of this baby, and to take care of you. You two will be my top priority. I may not be ready, but I promise to love both of you with all my heart and do my best.”

You sniff once more, “what about being Spider-Man… I thought you liked doing that better.”

“(Y/n). I choose you over Spider-Man anyday. Besides, I’ll leave the saving people to Tony. He needs something to do doesn’t he?” He jokes, trying to lighten up the mood.

It made you smile though.

“I can’t believe you had to think long and hard about what’s more important, me or being Spider-Man,” you said, punching his arm.

“Ow,” he groaned, “I’m sorry.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, making him chuckle.

“I missed you, I missed you so damn much.” He said while pinching your cheeks. Pushing his hands away and rubbing your cheek, you said it back.

“I missed you too you jerk.”

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry.”

“One mil-”

“Ms. (Y/n) (Y/l/n/)?”

You both look to the doctor walking towards the two of you.

“Yes?”

Your heart was beating, you could hear Peter’s too. Waiting for the doctor to say something, Peter grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, gently squeezing your hand.

“Since it’s too early, we would like to do an ultrasound just incase. You’re in your six  weeks already right?”

“Yes, I should be seven weeks in two days.”

“All right, then we should be able to hear a heartbeat. I’ve done check ups with a few women that heard the baby’s heartbeat as early as six weeks before.”

You nodded, hope lit up your face.


“Let’s see here, lay back down please.” You did what the doctor said, laying back down. Peter was right next to you, sitting on a chair and holding your hand. He put some of that weird jelly on your stomach that always made you jump a little. It was cold and slimy and it felt weird.

A few minutes or so the doctor finally said something. Every minute of silence that passed by made you more anxious than before.

“Can you see that? That small circle?”

You and Peter nodded.

“That’s your baby.” Peter lets out a sigh of relief.

“So does that mean our baby’s okay?” He says, which made you even more scared to hear the answer. Instead of answering, the doctor did something which made a loud beating sound. The doctor was smiling big when he saw my expression.

“Is that… “ you ask, pointing up. Peter looking around confused.

“Yes, that’s the baby’s heartbeat.” You cried out in happiness, Peter’s eyes growing wide and jaw dropping when realization finally hits him.

“Our baby’s okay!” He says, throwing up his arms and jumping around, making the doctor laugh. He prints a few pictures of the baby’s ultrasound at six weeks and five days.

“Here you go,” he says, “now make sure you be careful, if the bleeding continues, just come by to see me and we’ll do another check up.”

“I will, thank you.”


Peter took you back to his place. Now that you two are back together, he wants to spend as much time as he can with you alone before the baby arrives.

You two were cuddled in bed, watching a movie when Aunt May arrived.

“Pete? I’m home,” she called, “I’m sorry if you called me, I think I left my phone here.”

May looked around, Peter wasn’t answering, which worried her a bit. She ran to his room and busted the door open. Making you and Peter jump.

“(Y/n)!”

“Aunt May!”

You got up to give her a hug, Peter pouting behind you when you left his arms.

“What are you doing here? Are you two okay now? What happened? Tell me everything!”

“Maaaaaaaay,” Peter whined, “we just got back together, can you pleaseeee let us have some alone time?”

May rolled her eyes, “fine, but keep the door open.”

Peter threw his hands up, “we’re not going to do anything!”

“Mhm, that’s what you said last time.” May flashed Peter and you a knowing look.

“Seriously, how could I not know what you two were doing?”

“Who said it happened here?” He said.

May’s eyes grew big as she turns her head towards you, your eyes growing in fear as well.

“Look!” you said, distracting her with new ultrasounds pictures. Her face softens as her mouth opens, “awwww, you took more?”

“Yes, I had an emergency check up, which I will talk to you more about,” you said, while pushing her out the door while she’s smiley and happy, “later.”

And with that, May gives you a smile and a nod as she walks to her own room.

“I’ll put it up with the other two.”

You smiled as you slowly and quietly closed the door, jumping back in bed with Peter.

“I love you,” he said, placing a sweet kiss on your lips.

“I love you too.”

anonymous asked:

could you rec some of your favorite fandom writers for me please? I trust your insight and don't know where to start! thank you ^__^

of course!

and this list is my opinion so it absolutely does not mean that these writers are the best, just my personal favourites!

@theweddingofthefoxes/ ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - For Amateurs and Teenagers
- Hux always faints after orgasm. He can’t even masturbate without passing out- the one time he had a wank in the shower he nearly drowned. He tries to resist falling for Kylo but couldn’t help it. Now he either insists on handjobs and oral, or he fights off his orgasm during sex. Kylo tries ever trick he knows to break him. When he finally does there’s a ridiculous amount of semen & an unconscious General. Hux wakes expecting to be mocked but instead is treated kindly, then made to come again.

@moonwalkingcrab / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Friends With Renefits
- The Rules: 1. Just sex, no feelings. 2. The arrangement lasts as long as is beneficial. 3. Either party can choose to end the arrangement, no questions asked. 4. No kissing.

@rannystuffandthings / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Sharpshooter
- When Snoke sends Hux on a secret mission Kylo learns something new about the General he assumed had no military training except for the studies he did in books. It draws them closer together and Kylo thinks they’d make an unstoppable team. But fate has other plans for them.

@penpenhooray / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Wake Up, Sleeper
- It would seem odd that the Resistance should always seem to get their information just a bit faster than the First Order. Of course, General Leia Organa knows the risks her mole is taking by sending her life saving information.Luke was confident in his padawan’s ability to infiltrate the First Order to destroy it from the inside, and he trusted his pupil’s instincts.And Hux? Well, he’s spent over a decade as a sleeper agent within the bowels of the First Order when he feels an awakening in the Force, and he’s decided it’s time to begin the destruction of the First Order. And he’s going to bring Ben back to the Light if it’s the last thing he does.

@creepycreepyspacewizard​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - To Sleep, Perchance
- Brendol Hux isn’t quite what he seems. When Kylo Ren accidentally infects him with Dantari Flu the fever brings all of the General’s secrets into the light, including one that he didn’t know about himself…

@symphorophilian / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Inaniloquent
- Trashy, murderous douchebag Kylo walks in on his haughty, hacker cellmate Hux jacking it. Then they fuck.

@agent-nemesis / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Knocked Up
- “Are you ready?” Kylo asks Hux stupidly, realising the question is more directed at himself. Hux answers with a cry, and then his panic rises again. Kylo hunches over him, cocooning him protectively. “You can do this,” he whispers. “I know you can do this.” “I can’t,” Hux whimpers, shaking his head. “They’re too big. I can’t.” “You’re a general of the First Order,” Kylo says softly in his ear. “The General. The strongest man I know. You can do this.”

@redcole / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Following Orders
- Snoke decides that Kylo needs to produce an heir so they can continue his line and Hux finds himself lined up as the other father.

@jinxedambitions​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Reconditioning
- Ben Solo is one of the FBI’s most promising young agents.  While he’s had a few disciplinary hiccups, he’s intelligent and not afraid to do what needs to be done. (full summary on fic!)

@tokyotheglaive / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Ad Infinitum
- Hux and Ren were not soulmates. (But just once, they came close.)

@ellstra​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Carpet Burns
- Hux’s fascination with Imperial officers is not only professional. Kylo decides Hux deserves to relieve the pressure of command for once, and buys an Imperial uniform from Space ebay™

@badspacebabies / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Aletheia
- “What have you been doing to me?” Hux hisses. His voice is like static: the low hum of fear and the pitchy crackle of desire. “Everything,” says Ren.

@reserve / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Aletheia
- “What have you been doing to me?” Hux hisses. His voice is like static: the low hum of fear and the pitchy crackle of desire. “Everything,” says Ren.

@glass-oceans / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Lead Us Not Into Temptation
- Father Kylo Ren hears a confession that takes an unexpected turn.

@theearlgreyalpha​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - So Soft (And So Terrible)
- General Hux realizes that maybe he’s capable of being a little compassionate after all, when Kylo Ren winds up in his doorway in the middle of the night.

@cracktheglasses / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - disobedient
- There’s a reason Hux doesn’t have a real pet. Why he’s hired Kylo to play the role. Calm obedience is not what Hux wants or needs, no matter the instructions he’s doled out.

@agoodflyting / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Reputation
- Kylo finds out Hux is an omega. Functionally it makes no difference – everybody in the FO takes hormone control – but every so often medical deems fit to have someone go through a rut/heat.

@cosleia / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Bombshell
- Department store employee Ben Organa learns something new about the gorgeous redhead who always requests his help selecting lingerie.

happy reading!

there won’t ever be a character that will continue to devastate me at a visceral subatomic level like raven reyes. last episode (4x03) just highlighted, once again, how much i love her and how excited i am to see her arc unfold in the future, because she has so much more story to tell than people initially believed.

it takes raven a few emotionally tortured moments/scenes to get to the point where her heart bursts open and she decides to change the game for herself, but it’s so nice to see (even if heartbreaking) that she is someone who feels everything with her entire being nonetheless, because yes, raven isn’t a stone-cold, ruthless, inhuman girl who makes “wrong choices” (she had a point after all and she acted her choice out in connection to that information). people seem to forget that she is someone who understands pain and loss, too - always has and always will - and you see through her heart in more than one occasion. she enters leadership with a very measured and dedicated goal - save their people - but much sooner than later she realizes what the cost of life and death actually means (especially since she makes the call), and how you start to go through your life in connection to the decision you’ve made, carrying the burden.

it’s so similar to what bellamy had been through in 4x02.

the way she approches leadership with her head first shows how much of a natural and amazingly, hypertalented woman she is, especially in the department of science. she does most of the technical work, and she is extremely good at it. but then you also see the sheer contrasting cut from her head as soon as her heart is involved, because raven is someone who is heavily connected to the heart. throughout the episode she is a bundle of neuroses, and by the end she not just experiences something for herself, but we enter a new direction in her arc that also affects how she deals with others from now on.

one of the most notable moments is this one:

yes, the scene in which adria dies in luna’s arms is the one that forces raven’s head to flare, because as much as she has been right about the medicine, it’s clear that - in that hard-hitting moment - she wishes it actually had worked to save adria’s life. but this scene right here (see caps above) is the one that hits me the most, because there is so much maturity in raven’s decision to stay in medical after that first-hand experience. not just as a leader, but as a person.

the camera clearly spends time to focus on the dead grounders. already wrapped up and all, and it also shows who was there with them until they died - abby, nyko, luna and raven. and here is my deal with the entire sequence:

adria is luna’s child (not literal), and luna is not raven’s friend (i hope that will change soon), but raven chooses to owe responsibility to her previous decision and be there for the infected people; decides to barrel herself right into a series of brutal first-hand experiences (everyone dies except for luna); pulls herself together to help. raven, pretty much like abby, or nyko, shares the sadness for others here, but instead of going back to work (that passion is shakeble for her after all) she lets herself be stripped from a certain innocence she used to have in the beginning of the ep, when she called “the decision between who gets to live and die” clarke’s speciality, and feels the full force of loss and leadership. she doesn’t close herself off, but is ready to make that step forward, with the people, with abby. and it all just speaks volumes for her character and her emotional, personal growth. now the world looks even more different for her and she is there with everyone, every step of the way. not hiding, but present.

it’s clear that she will have to make more hard decisions, this is only the first step after all, but i am so excited to see it all. she is truly stepping up.

anonymous asked:

Hello! It's Detour anon :) So I'm on the 3rd day of my field work and sharing my room with a colleague. I have pretty bad wheezing and my roommate stares at me all the time and is always trying to help me out but I try to let her know that I'm ok. That sort of reminded me of the whole cancer arc and how M and S would have shared a room back then. I know its been done numerous times but I would love your spin on it from either pov or both (this is what happens when you spoil someone rotten)

Tada! It’s done! Thank you sooo much, Detour anon for this prompt. I also used another one I still had in my inbox from who knows when: 19. “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Well then stop fucking looking.” So here you go. Cancer arc fic. 

When the receptionist tells Mulder that yes, she has two rooms, but no, they’re not adjoined, and no, they’re not on the same floor, he doesn’t think, he just reacts.

“We’ll take one room, please.” He finds himself saying, nervously looking over his shoulder, checking if Scully is there, catching him. She is not. She is still over in the lobby sitting on the dingy couch, her legs outstretched, her head leaning heavily against the wall. Her eyes are closed, her mouth slightly open; it wouldn’t surprise him if she’s fallen asleep. Mulder hates this. Hates dragging her places, like this one, seeing her do autopsies, working her ass off like this. She keeps telling him that she’s fine of course, and while he believed her at first, wanted so badly to believe, he sees it’s a lie. No amount of make-up can cover up her pale complexion. The exhaustion that follows her around, palpable in every move she makes.

“Here you go, Sir.” The receptionist hands him the room key, jolting him back to his deception. The motel is one of the better ones; he refuses to stay in yet another hellhole just because the FBI is cheap. He’ll pay for the room himself if he has to, because Scully deserves more than a flee-ridden, way too soft mattress and dirty bathrooms. He approaches her slowly, the key dangling from his hand, jingling gently. She does not wake.

“Hey.” His fingers brush her cheek, cool against his touch, and she startles awake.

“’m sorry.” She mumbles stretching, but not getting up just yet. “Did you get the rooms?”

“Room,” he says swallowing his guilt and handing the key over to her, “They only had one room left.” If Scully is on to him, she doesn’t comment on it. She merely nods at him, accepts this fate like any other. She gets up with difficulty, wincing once she’s on her feet. Mulder wants to sweep her up and carry her. Not that she would ever let him, sick or healthy. He lets her lead the way and stays a few steps behind her, giving her space. She tries her best not to let him know, to let him see, in how much pain she is. As much as he loathes it, as much as he wants to tell her to lay it all on him and let him in, the only decent thing he can do is respect her wishes, ignore her pain and his own, and pretend not to see.

“It’s a nice room, at least.” Scully sounds surprised when she enters and she is right; the room is spacious, bright and smells clean.

“Only the best for my partner.”

“Yeah right.” But she chuckles when she says it. Mulder puts down their bags on the queen-size bed and tests the firmness of the mattress. Seems all right, he decides, and hopes that Scully will find some rest here. Right now she looks dead on her feet. As if sensing his thoughts, she turns to him.

“Can I use the bathroom first?” Mulder nods and watches her disappear into the small room, closing the door quietly behind her. Unable to move, he sits there on the bed and listens to the intimate sounds of her nightly routine. There is comfort in these noises he’s heard a thousand times before. It’s as if nothing has changed, as if everything is as it should be. When in reality nothing is. One day, maybe soon, this will be gone. This is not the first time they’re sharing a room, but what if it’s the last? There will come a day when Scully won’t be with him. Not in the same room, not in the same hotel. She’ll be home withering away; barely able to breathe, to hang on to life. Then, one day, she’ll be gone. He swallows hard, tasting tears, tasting guilt. One day is not today. Tonight he’ll keep an eye on her, pray silently to a deity he’s never believed in. He’ll do anything to keep her here, to breathe life back into her until he finds a cure. And he will find one. There is no other way.

When Scully returns a few moments later, she is barefoot and wearing green satin pajamas. Green, the color of hope. She looks cute, but Mulder bites his tongue, not sure she’d appreciate it.

“I can sleep on the floor if you want.” Mulder offers when he sees her glance at the bed. Singular. They might have shared rooms before, but not the bed. He doesn’t plan on sleeping much anyway. All he wants is to be around her.  

“No. No, it’s fine. I was just wondering if you have… a side you prefer.”

“You choose. I usually sleep on a couch, remember?” Scully gets in into the bed and the mattress barely moves. He watches her for a moment like someone might watch a child.

“Stop staring, Mulder.” Scully tells him, her eyes closing already. She’ll be asleep in no time, he realizes. He’s glad.

“I wasn’t staring. I just – is the bed comfortable enough? Do you need another pillow? Another blanket?” One of her eyes pops open, shimmers in an angry blue.

“Mulder, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure because I can-”

“Can you just shut up? I’m fine.” Both eyes are open now as she puts emphasis on the fine. This time he can’t stop himself, huffs, keeps going as his mouth opens and the words just tumble out.

“You don’t look fine.”

“Well then stop fucking looking.” The words feel like a slap against his cheek, sting feverishly, and he bites his lip, nods. He’s gone too far. Maybe he should just tell her that there is another room available after all. Not even on the same floor, Scully, you can get as far away from me as you want. Instead, Mulder grabs his pillow and sits down in the small armchair across the bed.

“Mulder, I’m sorry. Please come to bed. I’m just really tired. I didn’t mean it.” He turns to her. Her eyes seem huge on her sunken, pale face. She might be a lot of things, fine is not one of them. If she were, he would not have needed to lie, to take just one room. The thought of not being with her, of making sure that she sleeps peacefully, doesn’t miss one breath, is unbearable. But she doesn’t want him here, worrying, caring about her.

“You’re not fine.”

“I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Can you just admit it, Scully? Just this once?”

“Mulder, I feel fine,” she sits up to be able to look at him, to make him see it if he can’t believe her words, “Now please come to bed so I can sleep.”

“Oh Scully,” he says, carrying the pillow back to bed, treading softly, “you just want to sleep with me.”

“Hm.” Half asleep already, eyes closed, but a small smile playing around her mouth. Mulder watches her a moment, lets himself enjoy the sight, before he rummages through his own bag to get changed in the bathroom.

He expects Scully to be fast asleep when he returns. He sits down at the edge of the bed carefully, scared to wake her up again. She doesn’t stir and he reaches to switch off the light before he too lies down, facing her. He keeps his eyes on her, not ready to let sleep claim him just yet.

“Mulder?” Her voice is soft, an unsteady sigh, and at first he is not even sure he is just imagining it. “I’m not fine.” She admits finally, a sob breaking free. For the second time this day, Mulder doesn’t think. He moves closer, takes her into his arms and holds her tightly against him.

“What do you need?” He whispers into her hair, kissing her there.

“Can you just hold me for a while?”

“Of course, Scully,” he presses another kiss against her forehead, where the intruder sits and waits his turn, “I’ll hold you for as long as you let me.” They fall asleep intertwined, no beginning, no end.

The Truth Is For Wimps

Pairing: John Murphy X Reader
Requested: Yes (on wattpad)
Warnings: cursing, and sexual themes
A/N: Two in one day!! I have a lot of requests right now which is AMAZING but that means if you’ve requested something recently it might take awhile for me to write it. My inbox is still open though so don’t be shy!
Word Count: 1247

———————————————–

“No! I’m not making out with Octavia!” Harper’s voice rang through the drop ship.

“Why not?” Jasper whined, “You chose dare now you have to follow through with it,” he pointed an accusing finger at her.

“It’s either that or you forfeit and have to chug an entire bottle of moonshine,” you told her.

“Y/N that’s not helping,” Harper’s reply was followed by a glare in your direction, you gave her a ‘what can ya do’ shrug. It was late at night, and everyone had gotten bored of the usual sitting around the campfire so you all decided to spice things up with a game of truth or dare. Mixing in a fresh batch of Monty’s moonshine and things were bound to get interesting.

“C’mon it’s just a kiss,” Octavia said before leaning over and pressing her lips to Harper’s. All of the boys had their eyes locked on the scene in front of them, while the girls (and Bellamy) just shook their heads disapprovingly. Your entire friend group was sat in a circle inside the drop ship: Monty, Jasper, Miller, Bellamy, Monroe, Harper, Octavia, Clarke, and someone had even convinced Murphy to join in. Everyone was having a blast, laughing, getting drunk, and coming up with weird questions or stupid a dares for the others to do.

“Okay, Y/N, truth or dare,” Harper asked as soon as Octavia pulled away trying to divert attention away from her blushing face.

“Truth,” you tell her before taking a drink.

“Ugh, lame!” Everyone choruses at your answer.

“Hey! I don’t want a repeat of last time we played. I had to lick Jasper’s goggles. He never cleans those things! I have no idea where they’ve been!” You tell tell them motioning to Jasper who just shrugs and rolls his eyes. Harper looks around the room waiting for an idea to strike her.

“Oh, I know!” She exclaims. “Y/N, out of every guy in this room, which one would you have sex with?” A smile graces her lips, she’s proud of her question.

“Hmmm, if I have to pick, I’d say… Murphy,” youtell them. Everyone gives you shocked looks and Murphy scoots closer to you.

“Wel Doll, ya know all you have to do is ask,” Murphy tells you while wrapping an arm around your shoulders and giving you a wink. You roll your eyes and push his arm off of you.

“So, Jasper tru-” you get cut off before you can even finish your sentence.

“Wait, wait, wait! I want to know why you’d fuck Murphy out of all of us,” Monty interrupts you.

“Yeah, I got to admit I’m curious too,” Bellamy tells you taking a swig of his drink.

“Fine! I’ll explain myself,” you say while sitting up instead of resting against the wall. “Well, I didn’t choose Monty because we’re so close he’s basically my brother, and I don’t want to fuck my brother. It’s not Jasper because he’s not my type,” you look at him to see his face is pulled into a pout, “Sorry Hun I’m not into stoners. Bellamy, you’re really hot, don’t get me wrong, but you’re overconfident and I don’t find that sexy. Miller– well Miller’s gay!” You end your spiel by throwing your hands into the air.

“Wait a minute, so I’m just your last option?” Murphy asks you, his voice holds a playful tone which is brought out by the alcohol coursing through him. You’re all plastered by this point in the night.

“Don’t look so upset, at least you’re getting laid at all!” Cries Jasper bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“Jasper, I’m not actually going to have sex with Murphy,” you explain to the drunken boy.

“Oh,” he says looking down at his lap sadly.

“Don’t sound so sure of yourself Doll, I can be very persuasive,” Murphy whispers in your ear while placing his hand on your thigh. All you do is roll your eyes, making no move to remove his hand.

“Can we get back to the game now?” You ask everyone, your question is followed by a chorus of yeses. “Clarke, truth or dare?” Clarke downs the rest of her drink before looking up at you.

“Dare,” she says with a determined glint in her eye.

“Well, let’s see, what can I make the princess do?” You tap your chin in thought– it doesn’t take long for an idea to pop into your head. “I dare you to take Monroe’s bra off.” Clarke takes a deep breath before crawling over to Monroe and unclasping her bra and then pulling the straps down her shoulders, eventually taking it out from under her shirt. She holds the bra up in the air as if it’s a trophy and then returns to her seat next to Bellamy.

“Murphy, truth or dare?” Clarke asks him. She has a suspicious glint in her eye and you know she’s planning something.

“Dare, I’m not a wimp,” Murphy squeezes your leg when he says that.

“I dare you to give Y/N a lap dance.”

So that’s the devious deed she had in mind. You look over at Murphy expectantly, waiting to see if he’d actually do it or not. Surprisingly he stands up and offers you his hand. You raise an eyebrow at him as you let him pull you up and over to a chair. It’s obvious Murphy is totally wasted, there’s no way he would ever do this sober. A laugh escapes your lips once he starts to do a strip tease– slowly taking off his jacket and lifting his shirt up so you can see his stomach. As he moves closer to you he’s doing body rolls and thrusting his hips while pointing at you. The next thing you know he’s on your lap, grinding down on you and all you can do is throw your head back in a loud laugh. Once Murphy has deemed the dance over you both head back over to the group who is laughing their asses off at what they just witnessed.

“Hey, don’t laugh I know you all secretly wish that was you,” Murphy slurs at them.

“Okay well I think Murphy’s had enough fun for tonight. C’mon let’s get you back to your tent,” you support Murphy as you try to walk him back to his tent which is luckily close by. When you finally get him in he’s already half asleep. Sighing you take off his shoes and socks, then tuck him into bed.

“Wait,” you hear Murphy faintly say as you get up to leave, “stay?” He asks you.

You look over your shoulder at him, he seems so vulnerable, so unlike the Murphy that everyone thinks he is. The rude, sarcastic Murphy can’t be found when you look at him now, he’s been replaced by someone who just needs a friend. Someone who just wants somebody to care about him. So, you nod and get under the covers. You cuddle into his side, his arms are wrapped around you as your head lies on his chest. You drift off to sleep, soothed by the sound of his steady heartbeat.

In the morning the two of you will wake up with pounding headaches and far away memories of a very hilarious lap dance. Sadly, the drunk carefree Murphy will have disappeared only for the asshole to take his spot again. But maybe, just maybe you can bring out that side of him when he’s sober.

Keep on living (chapter 1) Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 

Summary: You work at the Richard Rogers theater as the assistant to the musical director as Hamilton hits Broadway, and it’s while working there you develop a friendship/crush on Lin who is your nerdy workaholic nerd in arms. Meanwhile you hide the other secret part of your life from Lin and your friends,  keeping secret your abusive partner until you can’t hide it anymore. Expect some angst. 

(I’m an abuse survivor myself. Not all abuse is the same, and so this fic is not meant to be a universal experience.  I wrote this originally as a fluff piece for myself but I realise it doesn’t come across as fluff!

To anyone that may be experiencing abuse then my inbox is always open and I will always believe you. Tell a friend or a relative if you are able to. And there are many support lines depending on your town/state/country, talking to someone helps. Stay safe.)

Warnings: I’m adding a trigger warning for some mentions of emotional and physical abuse.

Word count:  2715

——

You were late again to rehearsals, that’s when he first noticed that something was wrong.

You were known for your punctuality, often getting to the theatre hours ahead of everyone. You used your tiny office in the basement to write, to go over notes, and to listen to recordings from the sound desk from the previous night’s show. After years of working shitty jobs this was your first job as musical director’s assistant and you weren’t planning on wasting the opportunity. You’d been with Hamilton since they made its transition to Broadway, you lived and breathed this production, and the Richard Rogers was practically your home.

So when you showed up 2 hours late that afternoon hiding behind a pair of oversize dark glasses, you were greeted by Lin’s fake gasp of surprise.

“Aaaaand what time do you call this Y/N?” he called as she skipped over to you, a wide grin on his face while he playfully put his arm around your shoulder. “You bailed on Oak’s birthday drinks last night. I can’t believe you left me in a bar singing karaoke by myself after you promised me a Disney duet medley!.”

He pouted and gave you puppy eyes. Ordinarily you’d laugh along with him and tease him about his failed disney duets (last time the gang had gone out for karaoke he drunkenly sang A Whole New World with Chris but Lin had naturally taken over singing both Aladdin and Jasmine’s parts leaving Chris and everyone else in fits of laughter at the over-excited disney nerd now serenading himself  in front of them) but today you were caught off guard.

You pushed the glasses tight against your face.

“Um sorry, I had an emergency, h-had to leave a-and get back home. I uh should get downstairs, there’s um some charts I was supposed to amend for Alex this evening.”

You put your head down and pulled away from Lin’s arm, fumbling for the door to make a quick getaway. Lin, sensing something amiss instantly transitioned from Goofy Lin to Serious Lin in a heartbeat, and ran around placing himself in front of you.

“Hey, sorry Y/N, is everything ok? Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“Has something happened?” He placed his hand on your shoulder, giving you a squeeze as he lowered his head trying to meet your gaze while you stared at the floor.

You pushed his hand away, too scared to look him in the eye, knowing that if you did you might unravel at any moment.

“I’m fine, sorry, just in a rush.”

You quickly scuffled away, aware of Lin’s eyes following you. You felt like a dick.

You knew how weird you sounded and how rude you were being. You’d looked forward to Oak’s birthday drinks along with everyone else, and ordinarily you’d love to spend the afternoon joking around with Lin. There was even a time when Lin skipping over to give you puppy eyes would have made your heart flutter. You’d developed the most embarrassing crush on him during your first few weeks on the job which left you shy and unable to speak, but you’d pushed those feeling aside, choosing to be as professional as possible. Nobody would have taken you seriously with a silly crush on Lin.

Pippa had once called it the ‘Lin Effect’:

“ Everyone falls in love with Lin” she’d said during those first few weeks of rehearsals.

“He makes everyone in the room feel important and who can’t help but fall in love with that, it’s the Lin Effect!”

Lin had overheard Pippa saying this and for days afterwards he joked with anyone on stage who forget their lines or missed their mark that their lack of concentration was down to the Lin Effect. When you’d accidentally hit play on the sampler during a heart-wrenching rehearsal of Quiet Uptown, accidentally filling the studio with deafening hip hop beats, the cast had erupted into giggles and Lin punched the air and yelled ‘Lin Effect!’ and winked at you. Once you’d seen this goofy side you became less nervous around him and more like good friends. The crippling shyness was gone and in it’s place was an incredibly nerdy friendship born out of long days and nights, rehearsing, and thinking/talking/breathing music with him. And sure, he could still make you feel special just with a look, or by getting excited when you let him hear your own compositions for a half finished music project you’d been kicking around. They way his eyes lit up and got excited, the way he’d smile at you with a mixture of pride and and warmth could make your day. Even as just good friends, the Lin Effect was real.

But you couldn’t think about anyone just now. You just needed to stop and breathe and get to your office before anyone else saw you.

You practically fell into the office you shared with Alex, surprised to find Chris sitting there on the beaten up couch with Pippa, both in fits of giggles as each of them shared an earbud plugged into Chris’s phone. You’d hoped to find an empty room to be alone.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realise you guys were in here” you said with your hand quickly reaching behind you for the door handle ready to leave.

“Hey Y/N!’ Pippa called, ‘we were waiting for you, come and listen to this!’

You slowly edged your way over to the sofa on Pippa’s command. She scooted up and patted beside her gesturing for you to sit. ‘Here you gotta listen to this, it’s an old Freestyle Love Supreme recording, it’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, check it out!” She pulled the ear bud out of her ear and thrust it towards you. You took it from her practically in slow motion, looking at the ear bud like you’d never seen an ear bud before.

“Ooh check out the glasses, does someone have a hangover?” laughs Chris. “Man you must be feeling ROUGH today huh!”. You nod along meekly without saying a word, leaving an awkward silence in the air. Pippa looks at you with concern then gently nudges Chris who puts his hands up “Ok ok, I’ll leave you two alone, sounds like someone is in desperate need of some coffee!”

As Chris slipped away you felt Pippa’s eyes narrowing on you

“Y/N what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, sorry I’m just tired. Hungover.” You stammed.

Pippa’s eye’s lowered to meet yours, you were looking down in your lap, something was wrong. “Hungover? But you weren’t out with us last night though, we looked all over for you. Where were you?”

Hearing the concern in her voice was almost overwhelming and you could feel tears in your eyes. You slowed your breathing trying to steady yourself so you didn’t fall apart there and then.

“Y/N talk to me, what’s happened.”

You breathed, swallowed, and raised your head to meet hers. Slowly, you reached up and took off the oversize sunglasses that had shielded your face. As you took them off you still couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with her and you stared down at the sofa as you heard Pippa breathe in sharply.

Your face was bruised. Your left eye was swollen and bloodshot, your eyelid was purple, and there was a small cut on the top of your cheek, the skin was tinged yellow as the bruise faded out across your face.

“Oh my god Y/N are you ok? What happened? Oh my god who did this?”

You felt exposed.

You couldn’t tell anyone. He’d apologised, he hadn’t meant to. He wasn’t a monster. You didn’t want people to see that side of him. You weren’t making excuses for him, but he didn’t mean to hurt you, he just got upset and lost control, and it never meant to happen.

You’d been dating Mark for 3 months now. He was amazing, a talented musician, he was so smart, he was creative and enthusiastic and loved you. He really loved you. But he struggled too. His mental health wasn’t great and lately his dark moments had become dark days and dark weeks. He felt so scared of losing you and felt jealous that you were working in your dream job when he was still struggling. He hadn’t wanted you to go out last night, he was convinced you would cheat on him, that you’d drink too much and go home with someone else, scared that your ‘new dumbass theatre friends’ (as he called them) would convince you to leave him. You’d got annoyed, you’d snapped back at him, you hated someone so controlling, you just wanted one night out with your friends. And he’d hit you. He’d actually hit you. You couldn’t tell anyone.

“Y/N who did this?”

“Nobody. I mean.. someone tried to mug me, it’s fine, they didn’t take anything and I got away, it’s totally fine, I’m just tired.” You were bad at lying, your voice sounded strange and you were sure that she knew. You regretted saying it was a mugging instantly.

“Oh Fuck! Y/N that’s horrible, you poor poor thing. Did you call the police? I can come with you to the police station, what do you need?”

You made eye contact with Pippa for the first time since sitting down, her kindness felt so unbearable.

“It’s fine, honestly. I’ve already spoken to the police. I’m ok, I’m just tired.” You even cracked a smile to try and show just how ok you were pretending to be. You were the worst liar. She reached out and pulled you into a hug while she continued to say nice reassuring things. You couldn’t concentrate and you just closed your eyes hoping for some quiet calm soon.

Your eyes snapped wide as the door to your office swung open and Chris stood there.

“Hey I forgot my phone…” He trailed off as he saw your face and you quickly pulled your hair over your face feeling exposed.

“Y/N what happened?” He begun, but luckily, Pippa sensing your desire for the ground to swallow you up, instantly  jumped up pressing his phone into his hands and shooing him out of the office urging him to leave you alone for some quiet time and saying ‘yes she’s FINE’ over the top of his protests while shutting the door in his face.

“Oh god thank you.”

“That’s ok, although people are gonna be concerned. In fact I don’t want you going home alone tonight, I’ll take a cab with you. No ifs no buts.”

You wished you hadn’t blurted out a lie about being mugged. If anything that was just gonna bring more attention on yourself. And it wasn’t the same: people who got mugged were victims of something awful, you weren’t a victim, he said this was something you had done, that you’d made him this angry. Was this your fault? You slipped the glasses back up to your face, wishing for invisibility. You didn’t want any more attention, and you didn’t want anyone walking you home, you couldn’t run the risk of Mark finding out that you’d shown anyone your black eye. He’d wanted you to keep it hidden today, he was so sorry for what he’d done.

“It’s fine honestly Pippa. Mark’s coming to pick me up later so I won’t be on my own. And anyway I’m not sticking around for the show tonight, it’s my night off, i just came in to work on some charts for Alex for a couple of hours, so I’ll be home before dark anyway.”

“Well…ok. Sorry, I know you don’t need babysitting, I’m just so glad Mark will be with you, he’s a good guy, he must have been so worried about you.”

You zoned out as Pippa started praising Mark but hopefully that was enough to keep her from accompanying you home tonight. You made her promise not to tell anyone else what happened but you realised that was going to be impossible, but Pippa had at least promised to tell people not to ask you about it. You regretted lying so much, and what a shitty lie it was.

After much reassuring her that you were fine, she eventually left you to it. And in the quiet of the office you could finally breathe and concentrate on the charts Alex had asked you to work on. For the next couple of hours you worked on transposing music for new chorus members, tinkering with arrangements and for those two hours things were easy. You could get lost in your work, and notes and squiggles on a page were easier to deal with than real life. The two hours flew past in a whirlwind and you piled your folders together and grabbed your bag ready to head out before the evening crowds assembled for showtime.

As you made your way quietly down the corridor hoping to avoid speaking to anyone as you slipped out, at least until tomorrow, there was Lin. He was completely unaware of you as he sat on the floor near one of the prop rooms. His oversize hoodie was pulled over his head and he was staring intently at his laptop, bobbing his head in time to a beat through his headphones. Looking at him now with strands of hair hanging in his face as he absent-minded tucked them behind his ears he looked so lost in his music, so happy. On any other day you would have joined him and wasted time sharing songs and ideas, bouncing off each other until showtime.  On any other day you could have silently stolen a glance and noted how cute he looked while in full concentration mode. But today wasn’t any other day and you needed  a hot bath and some sleep and to figure out what to do.

You breathed in pushing the sunglasses tight against your face and left through the back door silently. The noise of the street hit you immediately and you realised you felt scared. You felt scared to go home, you felt scared to see Mark. You breathed in slowly, it felt like everything was in slow motion today.

“Hey”

You turned round and there was Lin. He’d followed you out, with his hood pulled down and his headphones hanging round his neck,. “I was waiting for you but you snuck out before saying goodbye”

“I’m sorry, it’s been a weird day, I just need to get home”

You eyes darted around, too scared to look him in the face. Did he know? Had Pippa told everyone?

“You’re not sticking around tonight?”

He looked disappointed.

“It’s my night off, I’m not feeling great. I’m just gonna go home.” You forced a smile but it came out a grimace.

“Has something happened?”

Did he know? You didn’t think he knew. But his eyes narrowed and his mouth tensed with concern.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine, it was nothing you don’t have to worry.”

You turned away, just wanting to escape but you felt his hand reach out to grab your arm. You winced as his hand slipped and he ended up grabbing your wrist. Your wrist was sore and tender from last night, where Mark had grabbed you, digging his fingers and thumb into your wrist to stop you from leaving. You gasped out in shock of being touched.

“Sorry I…” You looked back to see him glancing down at your wrist where faint red finger marks on your skin seemed to give you away. His eyebrows tensed and he looked up at you in shock. You quickly pulled your arm away, embarrassed.

“I need to go…” you began.

“Wait, Y/N..”

“Seriously, can we do this another day?”

Your turned to leave once again, only this time to find Mark walking towards you both, his mouth pursed and his eyes sullen. You hadn’t lied to Pippa, he really was coming to pick you up after work. It was something you’d been dreading.

“Mark!”

“Hey.” He said, not looking you but staring intently at Lin. Lin broke his gaze away from you, and he turned to face Mark. You couldn’t tell what he was piecing together in his mind from your mood, the sunglasses, and now your wrist. His face was solemn and gave nothing away, gone was the cute smile and soft eyes from just a moment ago. He swallowed and smiled and put his hand out to Mark.

“Hey man, you must be Mark, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

—————–

Part 2 coming soon.is here

[shaky off-tune kazoo version of the jaws theme playing in the distance]

Hello, everyone.

First of all, I’m so incredibly sorry for just vanishing for more than half a year, especially because I realized my last post was about a hospital stay (which I did mention was harmless, but probably still looks pretty ominous as a last post.)
I feel terrible for making people worry, especially since there’s already enough upsetting stuff happening :c 

To be honest I’m a little nervous writing this post right now after being gone for so long, but I really wanted to give a life sign! This weekend I finally checked my inbox, and I was incredibly touched by all the sweet messages. I can’t get back to everyone so let me just thank all of you who sent messages or replies, or even just thought about me! I cannot put into words how much it means to me ;-; It made my heart hurt in a good way, and I hope good things happen to you!

(Personal stuff behind the cut)

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anonymous asked:

Can you talk about the 3 of their different dance styles or interpretations of the same moves in the 3J dance? I'm also curious if you think that they each shone the brightest in own solos or do you think another choreo would've suited one of them more. Also versatility of the members? The 3 dances were similar enough in style (I think at least) but had different feels to them and who do you think was the most consistent throughout and could channel the moves and feelings of all the dances?

❗️❗️⚠️⚠️ i know that most will be going off of the home party 3J URBAN DANCE video instead of the bts+/channel+ fancam video(s) in my post !!!!! it’s a shame that non-subscribers can’t see the solo ver because there is always SO MUCH that the camera misses when zooming around❗️❗️⚠️⚠️

“Can you talk about the 3 of their different dance styles or interpretations of the same moves in the 3J dance?”

in the performance, each member stuck to their usual style in all three combos. you can watch other fancams (JH/JM/JK) of the same piece to see how they differ (note: i just linked the ones for “fire” since things are easier to pick apart there, but lmk if you want me to explain more)

1. hoseok

was definitely strongest with the upper body out of all the members. i know that it’s a stylistic choice to have very controlled arms (looking @ you PJM), but i prefer when they’re looser for combos like their first one. the only thing i didn’t like about him was sometimes the hands were too splayed and his snapback prevented me from seeing his eyes, which is an important part of a dancer’s stage presence. it also covered half his face when the stage lights were on him :/

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yall mind if i vent real quick???

i wasn’t going to really address it but i do think it’s important to acknowledge it to a certain degree.

i use the platform that i have to expose/show off latinx culture and i do my best to make it as inclusive as possible.

if you haven’t noticed, i steer away from concentrating on just my nationality and try to create videos/jokes that are relatable and easier for other latinxs/non latinxs to engage in/enjoy.

what i don’t fuck with is people jumping into my inbox/my content (videos/text posts/etc) talking about me sideways like they’re superior for what actually is just a difference in upbringing (which seems to stem from primarily mexican users on here).

i know this shit isn’t the case all around, i think the people that follow me are generally very open minded & positive, but there’s latinxs on here who really just reblog my shit to talk shit and i don’t get that im really just stuck blocking a lot of people because it gets out of hand.

this is probably the last time ill address this because like i said, it doesn’t really have a high position in my priorities list but i just want to make sure you guys understand where im coming from.

as much as i enjoy making content it can be exhausting reading through the amount of negative comments i get for some irrelevant shit that most times people choose to add just for some weird ass self satisfaction.

lastly, thanks to the 1k+ of you that have followed me in the last month it’s nice to see my shit rotating around your blogs, it’s always fun doing this in my spare time.

I can’t believe I got this shot last night.

Edit: Adding this for you, @expectogladiolus​ (The longer you look at his mouth, the more you can see it looking like a smirk ;)  )

“Fuck did you say to me?”, Gladio yelled finishing off a daemon with a final strike.

You flicked your wrist to dissipate your weapon. “You heard me”. You crack the faintest smile, your own burst of sass amusing you. It could be the adrenaline, but wherever it was coming from, you decided to just roll with it.

Say that to me one more time”, his half smirk betraying his threatening tone. He began to close the distance between you. Slowly, he stalked over to you. You couldn’t help but take in the way his uniform held to his body, and the casual way his arms swung. You stood your ground, one part out of stubborn determination, one part too afraid your legs would give out after connecting with his honey-colored eyes. 

Simply standing was all you could do to keep from falling. 

The hanging light in the cave cast a shadow over you as Gladio eclipsed it with his massive frame. He was so smug, towering over you, arms crossed, hips cocked to the side. 

The other boys had moved on ahead down the cave, taking their lights with them, dimming the surroundings further. He continued to hold your gaze until you broke it to look past him, searching for the others. How far were they going to keep walking without you two?  It was silent now, apart from a few drips of water trickling over the cave walls.

His baritone voice cut cleanly through the thick silence. 

“You were saying…”

CAST YOUR VOTES NOW IN MY INBOX OR REPLY TO THIS POST!!
Open voting until 7:30 PM CST


A.
Repeat what you said.
B. Make light of the situation.

C. Remain silent.

D. Run ahead.

I’ve been pretty quiet the last couple days. This is me laying low. But this post and all the lovely comments was brought to my attention this morning and I sort of feel the need to defend myself. From shippers. and yes I’m going to be bitter. I think I’m allowed that. 

There’s a couple things I take issue with because, you see, I was in many of your shoes not even a week ago. Pretty innocently shipping with very little to no threats from antis. Antis being mad made me happy because, for the most part, their anger was empty bullshit. It made me want to ship harder. However. What myself, Jess and Lauren have received is not empty, angry anti bullshit. My last name, Lauren’s last name and my place of work were dropped into my inbox by some anonymous person with the CLEAR message that if we continued to ship the way we do, my job was going to be threatened. That is not an empty threat. Realistically, do I think my boss would care that I ship? No. Does it stop me from being absolutely terrified that this random anonymous psycho now knows my last name? Hell fucking no. The minute you know someone’s name, you know their address, their phone number, their family members names, all thanks to google. Lauren has a child with one on the way. She has a family, a life, all of which are now threatened. And why? Because she ships. I don’t wish our last couple days on anyone and certainly I don’t wish it on any other shippers but you know what? I do wonder if any of you would be doing a happy dance that antis are mad if your privacy was suddenly under attack. I also wonder if you’d be as annoyed as I am that other shippers, who I thought had our backs, were now partying and shipping even harder because the antis are mad. I don’t think you’d be super happy if the tables were turned. Their anger is now threatening real people. Lauren, Jess and I are not just blogs. 

So while all of you are so happy that the antis are mad, we are terrified. We’re scared to ship again. I’m scared to take my blog off private. I’m really paranoid. I made a separate locked twitter account so I can ship in peace without the fear of being quite literally stalked and harassed. But quite frankly shipping is the last thing I’m worried about. In my mind, this has nothing to do with “the ship.” This goes way beyond the ship. 

Are there things the three of us, as shippers, could have done differently? Maybe. Depends on who you talk to. Sam doesn’t seem to mind us tweeting him all the time. None of you seemed to mind that we were so active when he was faving our shippery tweets. Personally? I have no regrets on how I ship. I’m not afraid to speak my mind because, for the last 3 years or so, I didn’t think there was going to be any serious consequence. Which is how all of you are living your lives on this ship. Without consequence. Some part of me is really happy for you. I’m glad you can all ship without consequence, without nasty threats being dropped into your inbox (and that’s how it SHOULD be. But it’s not so here we are.) It’s really easy to “ignore” when the threats are not personal. 

The other part of me though is really sad. I’m sad, I’m frustrated as hell, I’m annoyed, I’m angry and I’m resentful. Partly because I can’t ship the way you guys get to and I miss it. I want to be able to. But also because, somehow through no fault of our own, Lauren, Jess and I have big red targets on our backs. Everything we do is screen capped and analyzed and ridiculed. Everything. Don’t believe me? Go take a gander at some of the more well known “anti” blogs. Just yesterday I was having my name smeared all over one of them for something I had no part in or knowledge of. And before this happened, I was able to laugh at it because it was just so ridiculous but suddenly none of it seems super funny to me. So while all of you get to ship and enjoy and have fun, we have to make a choice. We have to make a choice about whether or not we even want to continue with our blogs. Whether or not this ship, which used to be a happy place for all of us, is worth continued threats, continued harassment, continued bullying, continued screen capping etc. Potentially more doxxing. Spoiler alert: it’s 100% not worth that. Because if we decide to leave, antis are not going away. They’ll just choose new targets. 

I’m not looking for pity with this post so please don’t try it. But I am looking for a bit of understanding, a little less “stay strong” and “just ignore and keep shipping” and a LOT less “YAY ANTIS ARE MAD TIME TO PARTYYY!!!!”

Thoughts on OUAT S7 regarding Killian and Captain Swan.

I’ve been meaning to write something up about this for a while, as the hate has become overwhelming and certain individuals are being rude towards those who are remaining positive on season 7. Frankly, I’ve lost any will to not get involved. Here are my thoughts for those who care.

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