this is the hardest thing ever to decide

It Ends

This weekend has been hard, you guys. My boyfriend - or I suppose ex now - decided that it would all end right before our third year together. I’ve gone through so many emotions of extreme downs to being angry to simply feeling helpless in what was happening in my life.

And I know compared to others lives, this is nothing, this is simply a small bump in the road. And when I think about it in the long run of things, I know that to be true. I know that in the end I’m going to turn out fine. But, right now, the entire future I had built for myself has crashed to the ground without any warning.

I tired one last time to salvage everything this morning. A mission I knew I would walk away from without winning, but it needed to be done. And I suppose to help me process it better, I put it here.

I’m sorry to be dumbing my feelings here, but I figure it anyone might benefit from what I’m going through, it’s the readers who might feel something while reading it.

Enjoy? I guess?


“Are you okay?”

The instant anger that arose from that question within their chest from that question hurt more than they had expected. The tears were already blurring their vision as they turned on Oikawa:

“No!” they choked around their tightening throat, taking in the way he recoiled, his hand rising to reach and grip at his bicep. “I’m not okay,” they continued despite the openly terrified expression that touched at his features, “you were unfair in your decision. A decision you had no right to make for me out of nowhere. It wasn’t right and I’m not okay.”

And, god, were they not. They knew that now staring at him, staring at those brown eyes that mirrored their own in his emotions. This was not something he wanted and it was all the worse for it.

“Now, I deserve answers,” they forced themselves to meet with his eyes, to make him look at them - really look at them - when he explained himself, “I want to know when you started thinking this way and why you never came to talk to me about it.” 

Because everything had been so perfect. Their plans for their anniversary were still being made, they had been making reservations for their vacation, and just the weekend before he had made love to them before whispered sweet ‘I love you’s as they drifted to sleep. There had been no signs between that moment and the next when he decided for them that he was going to let them go. That it was for them, that it was the right thing.

“About a month ago,” the words felt like ice pouring over their skin. A whole month of doubt and not a single mention of it. An entire month of pretend. “And I should’ve talked to you,” Oikawa admitted, his shoulders hunching, his voice small, “but I was scared that if we had that conversation everything would be over.”

Their chin trembled, “That’s not fair. Couples talk about these things, not make the choice because they think they know what’s best.” Oikawa couldn’t decide this for them. It was their choice on whether they were willing to wait for him to be ready; they were fine with how they were now - happy, in fact - and they didn’t need anything else right now.

“I know,” he whispered, his age falling to their feet. They watched the first tears of too many drip from his eyes. It was harder, they thought, far harder for him to feel so much about this.

A moment was needed, for composure to be collected. Because they has things to say, they had points that they needed to make. They weren’t going to let him have the last say, wasn’t going to let him leave without them getting their  thoughts in. “I was fine without moving in together,” they started, their hands rising desperate for something to do with them, “and I’m not saying that as a way to salvage this or anything, I really was. I have goals and you have goals and I was fine working on ourselves independently as we were–”

“It’s not just that,” he spoke, his eyes red as he met with their own, “I’m not there. I’m just not and I can’t tell you why. I can’t tell you that I’ll marry you tomorrow or that I want to move in with you because I can’t promise you something I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever give you.”

“But you don’t know how you’ll feel in the next few years, you just don’t!”

“But when it comes down to it, you’re there,” Oikawa’s voice broke as he reached out, hand dropping before he could take hold of theirs, “you’re there and I’m not. And you don’t deserve to be dragged along by me just because it’s comforting to me. It’s not fair to you because you deserve someone that can give those things to you.”

It hurt. It hurt so bad because it made sense. It made so much sense and they didn’t want it to. They didn’t want it be that rational. They wanted for their love for each other to be enough and to fight through it. There were so many things they wanted and with no way of obtaining. All they really knew was that it hurt.

They took a shuddering breath, their eyes falling closed as tears dripped down their cheeks. “I didn’t come here to change your mind,” they heard him release a sob at those words, “because I knew I wouldn’t be able to. I just… I couldn’t let you walk away without getting my own say in. I wasn’t going to let you speak for me.” But they couldn’t make him stay as much as they wanted either.

He knew, he thanked them for it, said they were right. He said he was sorry, said he loved them - probably always will - and how he hoped he could have them in his future if they chose. All the words that created a terrible twisting within their gut as they walked to that door.

And then they were holding each other, tears falling to shoulders and fingers digging into locks of hair. It would be the last time, the last time they were ever so close. They tried to burn the dips of his back, the curve of his shoulders into their mind. Tried to memorize the way his hands wrapped so tightly around their waist, tried to focus on the heat of his body that they would never feel again.

They went to pull away then, their mouth finding his despite any rational thought that told them otherwise. He kissed back instantly, his hands rising cup their face between them so tenderly, so desperately to stay exactly as they were.

A sob rising from their chest broke them apart, their gaze unable to meet with his own as his fingers slipped away for the last time. “I should go, I’m just gonnna go,” but they weren’t moving, couldn’t bring themselves to, “I need to go. I should go.”

“I love you,” he choked, his hands falling away as they stepped back, turning away from him to focus on the concrete below, “I do.”

And they left, leaving behind a future they thought that was forever. Sobs racked their body as they went, their body desperate to return to those arms they were walking away from. Because they loved him too; surely always will.

30 day challenge.

30 day thinspo challenge

Day 1: Your stats

Day 2: How tall are you, do you like your height?

Day 3: A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person?

Day 4: Your Greatest fears about weight loss

Day 5: Why do you really want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?

Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Day 7: Do your parents know you are trying to lose weight? Do they care?

Day 8: Your workout routine.

Day 9: Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

Day 10: What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

Day 11: Your favourite thinspo blog and why.

Day 12: What do you normally eat?

Day 
13: Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Day 
14: What’s your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?

Day 
15: Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

Day 
16: When did you first decide to lose weight?

Day 
17: Do you have an eating disorder?

Day 18: What food is your weakness?

Day 19: When is the last time you ate fast food?

Day 20: Favourite diet?

Day 
21: What are your clothing sizes?

Day 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

Day 23: Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

Day 24: How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia.

Day 
25: Have you ever purged? If you have, describe your first experience.

Day 
26: What excites you most about reaching your UGW?

Day 
27: How do you deal with being around food?

Day 28: Do you want that gap between your legs? Why?

Day 
29: Your definition of beauty.

Day 30: 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

You Are My Happily Ever After - Harry Hook x Reader

Originally posted by interwebber


Requested:Hi, i was wondering if you could write an imagine about Harry. Where you are jays younger sister and you went to auradon with the vks but dont feel like you fit in and want to go back to the isle. You go back with mal and run into an old friend and crush, Harry Hook. When the others come you help with ben you and jay get into a fight and you stay on the isle with Harry? Sorry its so long. Thank you if you can write this. i love your imagines, thank you for doing what you do!! :)

A/N I’d like to thank @kaylantus for the request. Hope you enjoy !! (:

Keep reading

I’ll Come To You (Requested)

“Could you write something based on the song “half the world away” maybe where harry is too far away and y/n cannot stand to be in her hometown anymore?”

Adjusted this slightly, hope you still enjoy!

Let me know what you think, and if you have any requests for future oneshots, you can ask me HERE.


You sighed, shifting restlessly under your duvet a couple of times before rolling over to check the time on your phone. 2.34am. You’d been tossing and turning since you’d turned off your light at 11pm, desperately trying to fall asleep. You had a huge day the next day, and you needed to get some sleep. Without Harry next to you though, a good night’s sleep was hard to come by.

You two had been living together for six months now, and you’d gotten used to sharing your bed with another body. He was warm, he snored a little, and he often trapped you under his heavy limbs, but he was yours, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Something about his presence comforted you, and you always slept uninterrupted when he was there. 

He’d disappeared off to Jamaica to record his album exactly a month ago to the day, and while you spoke on the phone at least once a day and you were almost in constant communication via instant message, it just wasn’t the same as having him there. Being this far apart was hard on you both. When he had filming for Dunkirk it had been difficult, but you hadn’t been living together yet. Once he had returned, you had both decided that you wanted to move in together, and when the day rolled around for him to leave for the trip, it was the hardest goodbye you’d ever been through.

Quite simply, you missed him.

You had no idea what time it was in Jamaica, despite Harry’s attempts to teach you how to calculate the difference, but you just couldn’t wait to hear Harry’s voice any longer. It was the only thing that would get you to sleep, and so you gave in to yourself. You dialled his number, preferring to type it out even though you could just find his name in your contacts list. There was something so intimate about having memorised his number, and you loved reminding yourself of that fact.

The phone rang a couple of times, and then-

“Hey love.”

You let out an audible sigh as Harry’s familiar drawl filled your ears, slumping back against the pillows before answering.

“Hey you,” you murmured, breaking into a smile.

“Y’alright? It’s… what, gotta be 2am where you are little one. What’s got you awake at this time?”

“Just couldn’t sleep. Missed you.”

“Oh, babe. I miss you too. You in bed?”

“Yeah,” you answered, nodding even though Harry couldn’t see you.

“Comfy?”

“Yeah. Just a big Harry sized space next to me,” you murmured, your voice quivering a little despite your attempts to keep it steady.

“Oh sweetheart,” he answered, his words coming out a sort of tired sigh. The sadness in his voice only encouraged your tears, and before you knew it you had a steady flow streaming down your cheeks as you desperately tried to keep quiet.

“Don’t cry,” Harry soothed.

“M’n-not,” you whimpered, brushing your tears from your cheeks as best you could.

There was a moment of quiet, and then-

“I love you. T’the moon and back. You know that right?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” you whispered back, your voice still a little shaky. “I love you too.”

“Just… snuggle up, put on one of my t-shirts, and close those beautiful eyes. Okay?”

“Okay. Love you,” you said again.

“Love you more, sweet girl,” he murmured, pausing a moment before the pair of you reluctantly hung up.

You hesitated a moment, shuffling to sit up, before dialling another number.

“Hello? Hey, Jeff, it’s me. Yeah… Listen, I wanna come there. Can you help?”

##

Five sleepless hours later you were in a taxi on the way to Heathrow airport to catch your flight to Jamaica. Jeff had sorted it all for you, your flight departing London at 10am and arriving in Jamaica at 2pm. It was a direct flight into Montego Bay, and you were eternally grateful that there was so stop over. You just had to get through those 9 hours of flying and you would be there.

Jeff had been more than willing to get you over to Jamaica as soon as possible, enthusiastic as the two of you discussed your travel plans. He reassured you over and over that Harry was just as desperate to see you as you were him, and he was relieved that you had made the suggestion. Harry was apparently in a bit of a creative slump, and Jeff was sure that a little visit from you would help get him going again.

The check in to your flight and depositing of your luggage went by in a sort of tired, excited haze, and before you knew it you were boarding your flight. You slipped into your seat, foot tapping anxiously as you waited impatiently for the flight to take off. You were never good at waiting, your mum always telling you time and time again that “good things take time”, and now especially you were as impatient as ever.

9 painfully slow hours later, you were landing. Caught up in the excitement and anxiety of the trip, you had forgotten that you were going to be seeing Jamaica for the first time. Harry talked about it like it was the most wonderful place in the whole world, and it began to dawn on you that you would get to experience it too, your eyes wide as you stared out the window at the tropical surroundings.

It didn’t take too long to get off the plane and collect your bags, and you realised that another joy of Jamaica was that it was so much less busy than the London life you were used to. People moved a little slower, and their expressions were a little kinder. Most importantly, no one knew who you were, and if they did, they didn’t care. Being with Harry for as long as you had been meant that you were recognised pretty much everywhere you went, so it was nice to be able to just get on with your airport activities without any interruption.

The drive to the house Harry was renting felt much longer than it actually was, and you tried to distract yourself by taking in your new surroundings. There was something about being in this new, slow, hot place that made you feel a little emotional. You didn’t know what it was, whether it was the way you were being treated, or the climate, or the idea that a life existed for you outside of the frantic one you lead.

The driver pulled up in front of a modern, white villa, and you let out a sigh as you took it in. You were here, you were going to see Harry. This was happening. A sudden wave of nerves hit you as you scrambled out of the car, sweaty palms shaking as they smoothed over your cotton dress. What if he didn’t want to see you? What this was a mistake? What if he didn’t want you hear.

Trying desperately to push your thoughts aside, you tugged your suitcase up to the front door, knocking a couple of times against the wood. You heard the mumble of voices, some familiar, and you chewed your lip anxiously as you waited.

“Harry, you should get it,” you heard Jeff call, his voice a little muffled on the other side of the heavy door. There was a pause, the sound of familiar footsteps, and then the door swung open. Harry’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping open as he took you in, and then before you could say anything, he burst into tears. Heavy, ugly, heaving sobs, his hands moving to cover his face.

You abandoned your luggage, arms wrapping around him immediately as you cuddled him close. His hands left his face as his arms returned your embrace, lacing around your frame, his wet face nuzzling into your neck. Your hands rubbed over his back soothingly, lips pressing kisses to whatever part of him you could reach, just holding him as he cried.

You had only ever seen him break down like this once before, and it broke your heart to think that he had been holding this in, your own tears rolling down your cheeks as you cried with him. The pair of you stayed wrapped in your emotional embrace for a long while, before eventually breaking apart, your forehead finding his as your hands moved back and forth over your shoulders.

“S-sorry,” he stammered, his breaths coming out in wet hiccups as he tried to fill his lungs.

“Shhh love… No need to be sorry,” you murmured, your voice cracking a little, thick with emotion. You pressed your lips to his, the action of kissing soothing you both as you relaxed into the comfort of each other, enjoying the familiarity of the action.

“I’ve been struggling without you. I’m so glad you’re here,” he mumbled against your lips, smiling weakly.

“I’m glad to be here,” you murmured, pecking his lips before pulling away a little.

“Can I show you round? I wanna introduce you to everyone… You can meet Mitch!” he smiled, wiping his face before grabbing your hand and leading you into the airy villa.

You spent the afternoon meeting the band the recording team, and Harry made sure to show you around the whole of the house. You all ended up sprawled out in the living room, chatting about the album and getting to know everyone. It was lovely, and it was slow. You and Harry stayed glued to one another, and you couldn’t help but notice he was being much more clingy than usual, determined to be touching you at all times. You relished the attention, glad that he seemed to have missed you as much as you missed him.

“Right,” Harry yawned from behind you. “I think we’re off to bed,” he chuckled, kissing your temple as you yawned right after him, your eyes blinking sleepily. “Travel taken it out of you, huh babe?” he mused, a hand finding your back. You nodded a little, the pair of you saying goodnight to everyone before heading up to bed.

You changed into your pyjamas together, crawling into bed and cuddling close, your legs tangling together in an attempt to be as close as possible. Your faces were close as you gazed at one another, and it felt so good to be here with him, basking in his presence.

“Baby…” you whispered, hesitant to break the moment.

“Mm?” Harry hummed in response, ghosting a couple of kisses along your jaw.

“You gotta tell me if you’re feeling like how you’ve been feeling. I know I’m miles away and I can’t always just pack up and come here to see you, but it kills me think you’ve been feeling so low all by yourself,” you murmured, your hand cupping his cheek, a thumb moving over his cheekbone.

Harry hesitated before replying, brow furrowing ever so slightly. “I just didn’t want to worry you,” he answered lamely.

“I know love, I know. But… I’d much rather know, okay? I love you, and I wanna know where you’re at,” you explained, your voice soft and soothing. Harry nodded, sighing a little.

“M’sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you smiled, answering immediately. “C’mere.”

You rolled onto your back, opening an arm for him to scoot closer. He shuffled in against you, his head finding it’s place against your chest, an arm and a leg draped across you as he burrowed down. Your hand moved slowly over his back, lips pressing the occasional kiss to his head of curls.

You forgot sometimes that as hard as it was on you being apart from him, it was just as hard for him. He was so good at keeping it all bottled up and being strong for you, and you were glad that this time round he trusted you with his vulnerability. You felt him begin to go slack against you, sleeping beginning to take you as well, and you knew you were both about to have the best sleep either of you had had in months. All wrapped up safe in each other’s arms.

“I’m lost without you...” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

#8. Going through a crisis together.

This is not a funny story, but after all the fluffiness I wrote lately, I wanted to write something…kinda sad. Not the angstiest story I ever written but…just not just fluff. There’s still some fluffy moments though, and maybe you won’t find it sad at all, maybe it won’t touch you (and didn’t proofread because of reasons), it’s also maybe a bit (a lot) cheesy but…Oh well, hope you’ll still like it :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

__________________________________________________

-You have to choose mister Wayne.

-I…I can’t…how…how am I suppose to…

-If you don’t, they will both die. It’s as simple as that, you have to take a decision. Now. 

Bruce’s head is spinning, and he cannot hear anything else but the fast beating of his heart. Why was this happening ? Why couldn’t something go right for once ? Hasn’t he and his family suffered enough already ?

He feels light headed and sits down on the cold metal chair, in a cold and way too bright hospital corridor. His sons are here, and he just faintly feels their hands supporting him, helping him sit down, stroking his back soothingly, hugging him to try and make him feel better…But he cannot feel better.

He has to make an impossible choice.

Mercilessly, the doctor insists once more, because time is running out :

-Your wife, or the child mister Wayne ? We cannot save both of them. 

His wife, or his child.

How could he choose ?

**********************

He wakes up with a start, and by instinct reaches for you…but you’re not here. You haven’t been here for the past month and a half. Unable to soothe him back to sleep after one of his nightmare, as you would usually do. 

Bruce felt like he was back when he was eight years old and just lost his parents. Back in Crime Alley that fateful night. 

He couldn’t see the light, all hope had left him, all will of living slowly faded away, and he was full of so much anger and sadness. 

Angry at the World, angry at life, angry at you…but the sorrow he felt was stronger. And he couldn’t use his anger, he couldn’t be strong this time, turn his life around to be able to live with the thought of loosing someone he loved so much, he couldn’t bear to live like this…Without you. He needed you. Your support. Your presence. Holding you in his arms was all he craved for…He looked at the spot you haven’t occupied in a month and a half and sighed. 

He was almost hoping you’d open the bathroom door, and come back to bed with him, smiling…But you wouldn’t. 

Not because you died, but because he “let your daughter die”. 

Keep reading

Discipline

Today I received a surprise email. It’s an apology letter about something that happened years ago in regards of a failed commission. (Not gonna disclose who for privacy purposes.)

I hired this person in the past, but they failed to fulfill the commission in a timely manner, so I ended up dropping them. I told them that, “you may be talented, but without discipline, you aren’t going to go far.” Harsh words, but that’s the reality.

These words have stuck with them ever since, and become the motivator for them to become better, work harder, and that’s how they are able to keep following their dream. It was a very heartfelt email that touched my heart.

So, why do I decide to talk about this?

Ever since I started working on games, one of the hardest things for me is working with other people. Probably one of the biggest reasons for many failed projects is caused by team members losing interest. It’s difficult to keep working when you are the only person who cares.

Personally, I have seen many talented people whose talent are wasted because they lack discipline. But here is the thing, I didn’t start off as someone who could finish projects. When I started drawing manga at the age of 11, I had dozens of unfinished stories. As I grew older, the number of finished projects increased as I became better at disciplining myself.

Yes, discipline is something that can be learned! If you have difficulty in finishing something, don’t give up! Use every of your previous work as a stepping stone to become better. Not just in term of skill, but also the discipline to work.

And for those who are able to master discipline, pat yourself in the back. You deserve it! ^^b

I don’t have blind faith in Jinki, SHINee’s Onew. No, he is human and to err is human, but I think that this “boy” that many people have followed for years and years and love, who have watched him become a man, deserves all the facts to be out, not just hearsay and speculation before he is condemned.

Now is the time, Jinki decides what kind of man he wants to be by how he handles the days ahead. Even if this was truly a misunderstanding, I hope he doesn’t run from his responsibility to the victim, to Shawols, to the rest of SHINee, to the public. This may be the hardest thing he’s ever had to deal with, but he can make it right.

I keep reading what I have to assume to be younger fans defend him because he is so “soft” and “squishy” that therefore there is no way he could have done anything wrong. This is incredibly naive and you are doing more harm to him and his case than remotely helping him. Do you know why victims don’t speak out? Because they don’t think that anyone would believe them because the other party is more powerful, whether it be wealth, status, or REPUTATION.  You’re making it into a David vs. Goliath situation, which spoiler, not Goliath, but the underdog wins.

Do not blame the victim or get mad that she pressed charges. Victim blaming is wrong, wrong, wrong. Period. The end. Jinki got himself in this mess because he was so drunk, he was barely functioning. It was an error of judgment on his part to get so drunk given his upcoming drama and Dome tour, etc. And this is a mistake he unfortunately has to live with.

I want the truth, I’m sure many people do. Jinki has never given me a reason to suspect that what he has shown us about his personality or character is not genuine, so I’m not ready to turn my back on him at the first sign of conflict without more facts.

People have been making all sorts of comments that Shawols are ignoring the issues, but we’re not. The situation is confusing and we want an explanation. SHINee has an overwhelmingly female fan base, do you honestly think Shawols would tolerate blatant disrespect and disregard to women? But extreme hypothetical situations are disrespectful to Shawol intelligence and show incredible unfounded leaps of logic that we must accept drunkenness as a defense to serious crimes. Of course, it is not. But it has yet to be proven, if and what crime has been committed in this case. 

I get it, mob mentality is seductive and can whip people into a frenzy. Especially to people who were chomping at the bit already. But allow the Police and prosecutors to do their job. You don’t know what happened yet and we don’t know what happened either. So until there are more facts, I am not willing to take part in a public lynching. Are you?

Safe

Requested: Can you do one where like shawn says “i’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again?” (i’m watching twilight and thought it would be cute lol)

~~~

You don’t want to live your life in fear.  You never thought that something like this would happen to you, but it has and can’t help but feel terrified. It started out seemingly innocent enough, nothing to be worried about at the time. Being an actress and dating a famous singer certainly comes with its fair share of hate, and you’ve been in the public eye long enough to learn how to ignore it for the most part. There has, however, been someone who has started stalking you in a way that has become far more than something harmless. It has been going on for about two weeks, and both your publicist and management know about it, but they’re doing their best to keep it all from becoming known to the public and they don’t want to make it into a big deal.

You’ve tried to convince yourself that it isn’t a big deal. You’ve tried to convince yourself that he’s harmless, but you’re terrified that he might really hurt you. You’ve seen him lurking a couple of times when you went to get coffee or sometimes you see him standing outside of your apartment building. Possibly the worst thing about this whole thing and the fact that he’s been showing up so much this last week is that Shawn is in the Philippines for work so you’re all alone in your apartment at night, and that terrifies you.

Keep reading

Date Interrupted

Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 727 (I know it’s short I’m so sorry!! >.< I tried!!)

Warnings: Angst…that’s about it….

A/N: This is my entry for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s challenge :) The prompt I picked was Snuggling up on the couch watching TV….now Kari thinks I couldn’t make it angsty….she was wrong ;) feedback is greatly appreciated!! Beta’d by @mamapeterson (thank babe!!!)

Originally posted by spn-spam


Keep reading

alpacalypticpotatoes  asked:

Ladybug+chat noir+tears+angry

find the prompt list here

“Chat, I’m serious, stop following me. This isn’t working.”

“What do you mean this isn’t working?” Adrien landed clumsily beside her and the chimney, angry tears filling his eyes. He was trying his best to keep it together, he really was, so Ladybug saying outright in such a decided tone of voice that it ‘wasn’t working’ threatened to push him over the edge. “We’re not done here yet, Ladybug, we have to follow that stupid butterfly!” As he spoke he eyed the white speck, growing ever fainter against the dying twilit sky. Anxiety gripped him at the thought of losing it, but when he lunged for the top of the chimney to continue the chase again, Ladybug seized his arm and hauled him back down to the rooftop.

“No, I have to follow it,” Ladybug insisted. “You, go home.”

Adrien gaped at her. “What is your problem?” he spat. “I’ve done nothing but worship you since the day we met and I’ve worked my ass off since the day we found out Hawkmoth’s identity, and now you’re just sending me away like a dog?”

The look on her face suggested he had smacked her, but at the moment, he was too hurt to care. But the seconds ticked on, and her lip began to quiver, he started to rethink his words. But before he could say anything else her face hardened and her lip curled, and she shoved him so hard that his back hit the chimney and stayed there. “What is your problem?” she shouted. “That’s my line, Chat, what is your problem? Ever since we found out you’ve been– I don’t even know!” Throwing her hands up, she stepped haughtily away from him to hit him with a long, hard look, but the anger was somewhat dampened by a glisten in her eyes. “You’ve been off your game,” she said softly.

Adrien scowled again. The butterfly had definitely gotten away by now, and that was just perfect, wasn’t it? One more day of this bullshit. “I’m sorry, am I weighing you down?”

“What– no!” Ladybug burst. “See, this is exactly what I’m talking about! Of course you’re not weighing me down, Chat, you’re just not – not yourself! I’m worried about you. You’re distracted. Angry. Irritable. You keep stepping into harm’s way and I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you. I don’t think I could…”

“H-hey,” Adrien said weakly, reaching toward her but faltering at the last second. Oh, man, he was such an idiot. “Don’t cry, Ladybug. I’m sorry. God, I’m such an ass.”

“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

He’d spent his entire life learning how to school his facial expressions into the exact ones he needed to hide his real emotions. Unfortunately, Ladybug knew him too well to fall for it. 

“No, stop,” she insisted. “If you say ‘nothing’ again I’m seriously going to punch your face off.” 

Despite himself, he smiled.

Ladybug’s responding smile outshone his by miles. “Huh, haven’t seen that in weeks. Not since…” 

Her smile faltered into something more thoughtful, which made Adrien’s heart plunge and his blood run cold. Keeping this from her had been not only torture, but one of the most challenging things he’d ever done as Chat Noir. If she even got close to the right track, she would figure it out instantly. She was too clever not to. 

“You know him, don’t you?” 

Unfortunately, Adrien couldn’t decide which emotion he was supposed to feel if the true answer was ‘no’ quickly enough to paint it on his face before Ladybug saw the real answer. 

“Thought so,” she hummed. “Chat, I know what I said about our identities. I know what I said about talking about our personal lives. But you’re my partner. You’re my best friend. If you have some sort of connection with Gabriel Agreste, I want to know, not only because it affects our team dynamic but because it’s obviously affecting you. Please,” she whispered, “just tell me.”

“And what if I did?” he whispered back. “What if he was my… What if deciding to keep on fighting him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?”

“Then, if that were true, I would say that I was proud of you. And…” Adrien’s breath caught in his chest as her gloved hand came to rest on his cheek. Warmth radiated from her wide, sapphire eyes and soothed the hurricane that had been brewing inside him for weeks, by the smallest degree, like a candle in the night. “And I would say that I still love you, Adrien.”

There are some excellent reasons for Ginny & Harry to name their kid after Dumbledore and Snape, but it’s suddenly struck me that Albus Severus is their second kid, which means they knew exactly how full of shit babies are.

And. Well. They’re both pretty snarky.

“Albus Severus Potter you were named for the two men who caused me almost as much sleep deprivation as you are right now, good job.”

“A tantrum because we’re washing your hair? Shocking.”

/changing diapers/ “Well this is certainly a steaming pile of…wisdom.”

“Don’t stick your fingers in strange places, that’s how one of your namesake’s got cursed.” “The kneazles’ litterbox isn’t exactly a booby-trapped horcrux, Gin.” “Constant vigilance, Harry! Constant vigilance!

It’s all fun and games until your kids ask where their names came from and you have to decide between telling a whopping great fib, or losing all chance of ever getting those World’s Greatest Mum & Dad mugs.

Missing You (M)

Request- Hi sweet pea! I would like to request a namjoon smut about public sex!!! Love youuuuuu!! 

Sorry this took me so long. I love feedback! I would also like to say, thank tou all so much for the 700 followers. We passed that mark a couple days ago, but I forgot to say something. So, I just want to say thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Truly thank you all so much x 

This scenario contains sexual and mature themes, you have been warned! 

Enjoy! 

Originally posted by nikatato


It has been three months. Ninety-four days. two thousand, two hundred and fifty-six hours since you left Namjoon. Your four year relationship with Namjoon was a whirl wind of emotion. 

Those four years consisted of some of your most cherished moments. When you left, you not only walked out on your love, your person. You walked out on your best friend. Months before the break up you and Namjoon had started to fight. You lost yourselves. You both were running away from one another, rather then confiding in one another. 

It wasn’t like you both. You had a close relationship, but it started to crumble. And you hated. Namjoon was there through some of your hardest times, as you were for him during his. 

You missed him a lot. You missed his smile, his laugh, the way he talked.. and everything in between. Going from being with someone everyday, to not seeing them at all. Was extremely hard, especially when its someone you love. 

Namjoon was going up and up in the world, you didn’t want to hold him back. The fighting had been draining him physically and emotionally, has it had been to you. That you walked out. Kissing his lips, for what you thought was the last time. 

You locked your feelings for Namjoon away, trying to get on with your life. It was probably the hardest thing you ever had to do. When you were having a bad day all you wanted to do was run into his arms, but you couldn’t. Which always made that day worse, knowing you couldn’t run to him anymore. 

Three months. Ninety-four days. two thousand, two hundred and fifty-six hours and you decided to get back out there. Not romantically looking for anyone, but to have a good time with your locked away feelings. 

The night was going well for a start. You watched your friends try to sexy dance with a group of very horny men, they weren’t hiding there boners. You stood next to the bar giggling at the sight in front of you. You were sipping on your drink slowly, not wanting to be to intoxicated. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you standing here alone?” You cringe at the strangers opening line. Turning with an awkward smile, he was much taller then you and very buff. 

“I’m just taking a break from dancing.” You turn back to the bar, taking another swing of your drink. 

“Let me buy you a drink. I promise I don’t bite, and I’m gay so I’m not trying to get in your pants. I’m just bored.” He sighs, taking a seat on the stole at the bar, you follow suit, sitting beside him. 

You learn his name is Minho and is a really nice guy. He makes your night, he shamelessly commented on anyone that passed by. Commenting on their clothes, looks and dancing. He even showed you have a slut drop is done. 

“Oh my god!” You scream with the laughter as he comes back up from the floor so fast. 

“And that’s how we do that.” He chuckles, taking a big gulp of his drink. “Oh honey, that guy over there is shooting heart eyes at you.” Minho squeals in an excitement. 

“How do you know hes looking at me and not you.” You giggle, eyes trying to find the man hes talking about in the crowd. 

“Honey, trust me, I know. This guy is looking at you how I look at nuggets. Now that’s real love.” You cackle at his statement. “He’s the one in the white shirt, beside the Dj.” Your eyes scan the floor, landing on a white shirt. Your eyes drift up to the man wearing the shirt. His eyes already on yours. It can’t be. 

“Namjoon.” You breathe out, not taking your eyes away from his, till Minho takes you out of your trance. 

“What?” 

“The guy, his name is Namjoon. I dated him, we broke up three months ago.” You say sadly, you glance back to where Namjoon was standing moments ago but hes gone. 

The box of stored away feelings as been opened. Just seeing him made all those feelings rush back to you. Even you were fighting a lot at the end of your relationship, you still loved Namjoon. It took a lot more then a few tubes of ice-cream and time to get over a lover. A lover that was truly amazing. Those sappy movies don’t let you know how hard it is to get over someone, it was a faux ami, (a false friend.) 

You decided to take to the dance floor, let loose. It is what you came to do. You thought Namjoon wouldn’t want to see you. Namjoon was always quite to forget and move on. It was his way of coping. 

You swayed your hips to the beat of the music, Minho krumping making you giggle. A few men took interest in you, but you shook them off. Your eyes kept drifting around the room looking for a certain long legged man. But he was no where to be seen, so you ignored the tightness in your chest, the want to see him. The need to. 

As you were getting into your grove, because the Dj played ‘Wonna be’ by the spice girls, you bumped into someone. You turn to say your condolences, but his hands on your hips keep you in place. His hot breath on your neck. You know exactly who it was.  

“I missed you, I do miss you.” His hands tighten around your waist, keeping you close to him. His lips pressing to your neck in a sweet kiss. It was like Namjoon was trying to show you how much he missed you through the small kiss. 

You moan for the little pleasure you were getting, you had missed Namjoon so much. Not just as a person, but sexually too. Namjoon knew his way around your body like the back of his hand. He spent so long studying your body, he still remember all your sweet spots. 

Songs begin to pass one by one, you still remain in Namjoon’s hold grinding up against him. His mouth kissing your neck and shoulder blades, his hands holding you tight. He grunted in your ear the harder you grind up against him, feeling his hard dick up against your ass. You moan when he sucks hard on your neck, loving how his lips were so soft on your neck. 

“Fuck, I need you.” Namjoon groaned, his hands on your hips, guiding you through the crowd on the dance floor. Leading you to the bathroom in the club. He ushers you into the little room, your happy to see its clean. Namjoon locks the door behind the both of you, hoisting you up on the counter, he spreads your legs standing in between them. 

He gazes into your eyes. looking into yours with a deep lust. His hand comes up to your face, putting his fingers through your hair. He kept his hand on the back of your head, pulling you forward to connect his lips with yours. 

You could feel all Namjoons feelings in this kiss, you loved it. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers smoothing over the hair on the back of his neck. You were kissing Namjoon back with just s much passion, as he was kissing you with. Namjoon’s hand leaves your hair, moving to wrap around your waist, as his other hand his griping your thigh. 

“I missed you so so much.” He mumbles against your lips. Swiping his tongue over your lip, you part your lips. Letting his tongue enter your mouth playing with yours. Everything about Namjoon you missed. The way his hands danced over your skin, his kiss, his scent, his deep voice in your ear. Having him back was blissful. 

The hand that was resting on your thigh started to inch closer and closer to your core. Rubbing fast circles into your core, letting moan slip past your lips. You run your hands down along his torso, before you get to his pants. Popping open the button, opening the zip and pushing them down his legs, along with his boxers. Namjoon kisses your neck. 

“I missed you too, Joonie.” You wrap your hand around his hard erection, pumping him slowly. Running your thumb over the tip, making Namjoon groan into your neck. 

“Fuck, I need to be inside you.” Namjoon lifts you off the counter, turning you to face the counter. He hoists up your dress to lay around your waist. He swiftly pulls down your panties, letting them fall to the ground. Namjoon rubs the tip of his dick up and down your slit, teasing you. 

“Namjoon, please.” You moan out. He positioned himself, slowly pushing his dick into your throbbing pussy. He halted any movements when he was balls deep in your pussy, letting you adjust. 

“Y-you can move now, puh..lease.” You pant out, loving how Namjoon fills you up. Namjoon doesn’t waste any time, before his hips are slamming into your ass. Namjoons trusts are fast and hard, you’re sure any one in a 20 foot radius knows whats happening in the bathroom. 

“Mhmm, I love your tight pussy wrapped around me.” Namjoon pulls you up against his chest. One of his hands cup your breast, as the other plays with your clit. 

Namjoon was fucking you like hes trying to make up for lost time, whispering dirty comments in your ear. Your eyes roll back in your head in blissfulness, your head tilting back. 

“Baby your are so so beautiful, looking all fucked out. Did you miss having my cock?” Namjoon whispers in your ear, biting your ear lobe. He pounds into your harder, but slows down the pace, hitting your stop just right. 

“Oh, fuck. Joonie right there, keep going.” He trusts a few more times, before your walls are clenching around him, hard. 

“That’s it baby, cum all over my dick.” Namjoon grunts in your ear. Your moans are louder, as your orgasm takes over your body, making you shake. Namjoon thrusts hard into a few more times, pulling out and cumming all over your ass, grunting out your name. 

Namjoon grabs tissues cleaning his cum off you, pulling down your dress. He pulls up his pants butting them, taking off his jacket. 

“Here.” He wraps his jacket around your shoulders. He leans down to the floor picking up your underwear and putting the lace in his pocket, he smirks. You turn around to him, looking into his soft eyes, he pulls you into him, by your hips. You look up at him. 

“What does this make us?” 


I hope you enjoyed! I love feed back, so please don’t be a stranger x I don’t even know if that made sense, but okay. And Minho is gay in this fic~ I love Minho hes my heart <3

-Admin Abe x

Sometimes revenge comes from being professional.

(warning: long story)

A couple of years ago, my husband and I moved to his hometown after spending time abroad and starting a business. We needed a job to make ends meet as we grew our business, so we both took a job as a server/bartender at a beautiful historic inn and restaurant in our town.

The bosses were an old couple. We realized pretty quickly that the woman of the couple wore the pants, and that she had no idea what she was doing. In addition to this, she was a real asshole. The place was horribly mismanaged, in a market where it was impossible NOT to make money. However, the hours were convenient since the restaurant was only open on a limited schedule, and we were the only servers who didn’t have terrible substance abuse issues, so we quickly became the de facto managers. We are both business minded people, and we started thinking that we could really run the place well if given the opportunity.

After being there about 6 months, we made the owners an offer to run the hotel and restaurant for a year for a small salary, but with the potential for a huge bonus at the end of the year, calculated as a hefty percentage of any increase in profit over the prior year.

Keep reading

Double Jeopardy

A/N: I went slightly off prompt? Anyway, thank you to @nightwingdiva, @cait-writes-stuff, and @writing-doesnt-discriminate for looking this over for me. I am so out of practice when it comes to writing angst lol 

Also: I almost forgot to tag @insideoflit, but then I didn’t lol

Dick knew something was off the minute he entered his apartment. It wasn’t even that anything had been disturbed or that Y/N wasn’t home from work yet. There was just an indescribable change in the air that made him tense up.

This tension multiplied when he noticed the purple envelope that had been carefully placed on the counter. Any other time, he would have approached the mysterious packet with caution, but he knew who sent it and, judging from how quiet his apartment was, he had a good guess as to what it was about.

To my favorite Bird Brain,” the letter read, “I have taken a couple of your things, which you will probably be wanting back LOL. To reclaim one of your prizes, come to this address.

Dick didn’t spend too much time wondering what the Joker meant by that. He slipped into his suit and out the window. As he hurried through the streets, he sent off a quick message to Bruce, hoping that he would get there in time to help.

The location that Joker had sent him to turned out to be an abandoned apartment building. Dick arrived at the top floor and opened the door to find a large television showing static on the screen. On the coffee table, there was a large switch. As Dick slowly approached the setup, the screen came to life.

“Well, hello there, Batbrat.” The Joker laughed, “So nice of you to join us. We are going to play a little game called ‘Who is more important?’ It should turn out to be interesting.”

His laugh became louder as the screen changed. It showed a red haired woman, who appeared to be heavily sedated, was tied to a chair.

“Barbara.” Dick gasped.

“On the first try!” Joker giggled. “Let’s see if you recognize our second contestant.”

A Y/H/C woman was bound in a similar fashion, but she appeared to be awake and fighting her restraints.

“Y/N!” Dick cried out, moving closer to the screen. Right as he reached out to touch her image, the Joker’s face appeared again.

“We got to keep things movie, Little Birdie. Wouldn’t want the timer to run down before our fun begins.” Joker giggled. “You will have 10 seconds to choose which woman you want to save. If you don’t flip the switch, both women will die.”

Panic began to fill Dick’s head as he realized what was going on. Bruce hadn’t showed up yet and he couldn’t get to them in time to save them.

“Time starts now.” Joker whispered as the screen changed. It was split between the two women, with a countdown telling him how long he had left.

The choice between who lives and who dies.

Barbara or Y/N.

Dick’s hand moved before he realized what he was doing. He blinked and realized he had turned the switch to Barbara’s side.

His heart sank as he watched the screen change. Y/N’s terrified face filled the screen before a live feed of a warehouse exploding took over. Dick could hear the explosion in the distance.

“NO!” Dick cried out as he fell to his knees. He felt a hand grip his shoulder and he turned to find Batman standing there. Bruce didn’t say a word as Dick got to his feet and collapsed against him.

“He killed her.” Dick sobbed. Bruce just patted Dick’s back, waiting for him to calm down slightly before pulling away.

“We need to go get Barbara.” Bruce said as he turned and left the room. Dick followed in silence. They located the warehouse where she was being held. She was just beginning to stir when they freed her.

“What happened? Where am I?” She asked, her speech slurring as she tried to stand.

“We’ll tell you later.” Bruce said as they helped her out of the warehouse, Dick wrapping his arm around her waist to support her.

“Tsk, I guess he isn’t even going to miss you.” Joker sighed as he watched the trio leave the view of the camera.

Y/N was silent as she watched the screen. She hadn’t realized she wasn’t in danger of exploding until Joker had rolled in a TV and turned it on, settling in with a bag of popcorn to watch “the show”.

“I would have expected a bigger scene, to be honest. You are his girlfriend, after all.” Joker said, catching a kernel in his mouth. “Oh, cheer up.” Joker said, launching a handful of the salty snack in her direction. “You could be dead.”

“Aren’t you going to kill me?” Y/N asked quietly.

“Why on earth would I do that?” The Joker asked. “You apparently weren’t important enough to save, which means you aren’t important enough to kill.” Joker dusted off his hands and stood up. He pulled out a knife and cut the ropes binding Y/N to the chair. “You are free to go.”

Y/N looked at him suspiciously. “What are you still doing here? Do you want me to murder you?” Joker laughed as he brought the knife close to her neck.

Y/N dodged the blade and got up, running towards the exit, the Joker’s laugh echoed through the building and into her head as she escaped.

She thought about going back to her apartment, but quickly decided against it. She didn’t want to run the risk of seeing Dick with Barbara in their home, so soon after her “death”.

Y/N wasn’t sure where she was going. She just kept walking, thinking about what to do, but not coming up with any sort of plan. Before she knew it, she was standing at the door of the one person she thought might be able to help her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jason hissed as he pulled her inside. The apartment he lived in was in a more dangerous part of town, but his place was clean and nicely decorated. “Bruce told me you died.”

“I feel like I did, if that helps.” Y/N murmured as she sat down on Jason’s couch. Slowly, she explained what had happened, stopping and starting as tears began to slip out of her eyes. Jason sat in silence as he listened to her words. “And then I just ended up here.” Y/N finished.

“Why did you come to me though? Of all the people you know in the city, why me?” Jason asked softly.

“Because you won’t tell Dick you saw me.” Y/N said. Jason opened his mouth to say something, but Y/N cut him off. “I need your help. I want to leave. I can’t stay here after all this. Especially knowing Dick chose… her life over mine.”

Jason was silent for several moments. Then he got up and walked over to a cabinet. Opening it up, a wide array of guns gleamed in the light. He reached into the bottom of the cabinet and pulled out a box, which he turned and offered to Y/N.

“Take it.” He said. “It has a couple thousand dollars in it. More than enough to get you away and settled in a new city. It also has a burner cell, which I expect you to use to call me and tell me how you are doing.”

Y/N nodded as she got up. She walked over and gave him a quick hug. “Thank you.” She whispered before turning and leaving the room.

She left the city that night, without looking back. She started a new life in Coast City, far away from Gotham and anyone who might know her. With her, she carried a tiny secret that she hadn’t had the chance to tell anybody. Joker had grabbed her on the way back from a doctor’s appointment, during which she had found out she was pregnant.

When she settled into her new life, she had been relieved to find that the stress of being held captive and then moving to a new town had not affected the life of her unborn child.

Months went by and she could almost forget about the bad things as the looked forward to the good. At least until she opened the door to find him standing there.

She froze as she stared at him, unable to say a word. He looked… different. His hair was longer and he had stubble on his face. His eyes held a mixture of anger, relief, and another, softer emotion that Y/N didn’t want to name.

“What are you doing here?” She said, once she was finally able to speak.

“I found your texts on Jason’s phone.” He answered. “When I found out you were alive, I needed to come see you.”

“Well, you have seen me.” Y/N said, her voice turning cold. “I think it is time for you to leave now.” She tried to close the door, but Dick stopped her.

“Y/N, please.” He pleaded.

“You chose her over me, Dick. I could have died.” Y/N said firmly.

Dick tried to reach out and cup her face. “I didn’t know-”

“Didn’t know what? That I didn’t actually die? That I was pregnant with your baby when you decided my life wasn’t important?” Y/N said as she smacked his hand away. “I have had some time to think about this, time you haven’t had. I’ve decided that I forgive you, but I will be damned if I let you back into my life.”

“Our baby needs a father!” Dick argued, desperate at this point to be given any chance to stay.

“Lots of people grow up without fathers and turn out just fine.” Y/N said. “I have friends. Friends who are willing to support me and help me out. Neither me nor my baby need a man who we can’t trust.”

Dick was silent as her words sunk in. “I just want you to let me back in.” He whispered.

“Any chance of that died when the warehouse blew up.” Y/N said. “I think you should go now.”

Dick nodded silently and he released his grip on the door. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

“Goodbye, Dick.” Y/N said as she closed the door. Turning Dick away was the hardest thing she had ever done, but, in the end, she knew she had made the right choice.


Prompt: Can you write a dick x reader imagine where he has to choose between saving the reader(current s/o) or saving either kori or Babs?? And he’s conflicted but at the last minute he decides not to save the reader. And unknown to everyone else the reader lives thanks to some miracle and later finds out they are pregnant with dicks baby and then the media finds out Dick Grayson’s long lost S/o is alive and you can go full blast angst with this or just end it with rainbows and sunshine, your choice!

anonymous asked:

Remus wanting to kiss you would include...

I couldn’t decide whether to do this in a relationship or not so i did both! haha Enjoy! 

(NOT dating)

-Remus watches you studying

-he doesn’t know how long hes been watching you but he doesn’t care

-the way your nose crinkles when you’re concentrating is too adorable

-he is struggling to keep from reaching across the table to brush your hair off your forehead

-it would be so easy

-but also the hardest thing he’s ever done

-not to mention scary

-his eyes travel down to your lips and his mouth goes dry

-Merlin he wants to kiss you so badly

-it’s all he can think about

-the feel of your soft lips against his chapped ones….

-but no. he can’t.

-”Who would want to be kissed by a monster like me?”

-but he still stares at you longingly

-you glance up at him and smile and his breath hitches

-DAMN you’re so beautiful

-”If only I was any good for her…..”


(IN AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP)

-you’re sitting together on the couch in the common room

-Remus is running his fingers up and down your legs that are draped across his lap

-he studies your face while you read a book

-the way your eyes light up when the character says something witty

-the soft blush on your cheeks when they do something sweet

-the lines on your forehead from trying to figure out the plot twist

-then his eyes land on your lips and he smiles softly

-he watches your lips move silently, unconsciously mouthing the words you are reading

-he is mesmerized

-the light from the fireplace is dancing across your lips and he can’t help himself

-it’s like he’s been hypnotized and isn’t in control

-he leans forward and begins to leave a trail of little kisses along your jaw

-you don’t look up

-he nuzzles your neck

-nibbles your cheekbone

-finally you turn towards him, annoyed for being interrupted

-but then he kisses you

-and the world melts away

-your hands are in his hair and his are gripping your hips

-and he growls into the kiss as he moves you to straddle him

-your book falls to the floor…..forgotten about for the rest of the night

anonymous asked:

top 5 POPs (pets of players). include pics if you want to....

OH BOY

1. Matt Duchene and Paisley 

I will argue for hours that Matt and Paisley are the best player pet duo in the league. Named after Brad Paisley, Paisley is a superstar. He even has his own instagram account! I could probably make a whole masterpost just about the two of them.

2. Tyler Seguin and Marshall, Cash, and Gerry

I’m a real sucker for labradors, and Tyler has completed the lab trifecta!!! He cares about his dogs a lot and is probably one of the best dog owners ever.

3. Tyler Johnson and Reese 

A very underrated hockey pup! He takes her for a lot of walks and plays with her a lot! Tyler loves showing her off to the world in his insta stories, give him a follow!! 

4. Derek Stepan and Jake

Jake is a stray dog found by David Backes while at the Olympics and Sochi!! Derek and his wife decided to take Jake back to the USA and adopt him, which is like the sweetest thing ever.

5. Victor Hedman and Harry

It honestly amazes me that Heddy is a 6′6 (i think) guy but has a cute small dog, I love it. Also, the bolts are coming out with a pets calendar which is like the most amazing thing ever.

Listen it was the hardest thing for me to do to narrow this down to 5 so if anyone else wants to see more pets i gotchu

zoella Hello Instagram! It’s #mentalhealthawareness week and if you’re a new follower of mine, you might not know how close to my heart mental health is, and as I now have 11 million followers over here (thank you btw, how effing cool) I thought it was important for me to share a little bit of my journey with mental health in the hope that it might educate, inspire or encourage some of you. I’ve had anxiety & panic attacks through my later teen years right up until today. That’s my entire adult life so far. That’s a long time. Long enough at one point for me to start living my life according to my anxiety and for it to have felt so huge, and to have consumed 99% of every thought of every day (which let me tell you, is exhausting) that I didn’t think there was an alternative. I thought I had to settle and learn to deal with it. Around 2 years ago I decided to start therapy to learn how to manage & work on my anxiety. I do things now that I never thought I’d be doing but it’s been one of the hardest but also most rewarding things I’ve ever done. There were moments when I’d take 10 steps back and think all the hard work had done nothing, but standing back and looking at how far I’ve come now makes me realise how it’s all been worth it. Nothing worth doing comes easy. There will be mountains to climb and rivers to cross but you can do it. The hardest part is starting the journey, especially when you feel so isolated, alone & at a complete loss…but you aren’t alone. Everyone has something they could work on, even that person you know who looks like they have the perfect life, even THEY have something. As humans we always want to look our best. We look after our hair, nails, skin. We eat good food and work out. We spend time and money to feel good, yet not everyone takes that same time and care on the most important thing, our minds. Don’t feel ashamed to speak to someone & don’t settle. Take control of your mental health, don’t let it control you. I wish I’d started sorting out my anxiety years before I actually did, and although I’ll still have moments I struggle with a little more than others, I’m so proud of how far I’ve come, and you can be too!

Through the Lens Mafia AU! Pt 1

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut (in the future)
Pairing: Reader x Mark
Warnings: Some explicit language, some violence (nothing too bad)
Feat: Monsta X Word count: 1183

You were walking down the city streets, everything in your life seemed to be going so perfect for you at the moment. You had gotten the opportunity to work as a photographer in the most famous photography studio, which happened to be your dream job. Photography was always something you were extremely passionate about since you were little. At the toy stores you’d always reach for the fake plastic cameras and pretend to take pictures of everything. Your parents knew how passionate you were about photography but didn’t really think that was the kind of job they wanted their child to have. It took some time for them to warm up to the idea however you were grateful for them to have finally accepted what you wanted to do.

You were single, yes, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going on a few dates here and there but you were also happy with not being in a relationship because that meant you had more time to focus on yourself and your job.

Your last relationship was going so well. Better than what you had expected in the first place. That was until you noticed your boyfriend change. His attitude, the way he dressed, even the way he parted his hair. There was only one thing you had thought it could be, and that is he was cheating on you. He never got intimate with you anymore nor was he affectionate. He was the type to always want to cuddle or even stay up all night rambling about who loves who more but all of a sudden, he stopped. Cold and distant was what he became towards you.

You’d always push him to tell you what was going on with him but he would always call you ‘clingy’ and ‘nosey’.


*FLASHBACK*


“Please just tell me what’s going on with you! You’ve been acting so different lately, everything about you has changed. You’re not the same.”

Tears were starting to form and as much as you tried to stop them from falling, you couldn’t.

“For fucks sake Y/N I tell you the same damn thing every time we have this discussion! There’s nothing wrong with me! Stop being a clingy bitch and drop it.”

And with that, he stormed out of the apartment you both shared. Not once did he ever apologize, only acted as if nothing ever happened that night. Deciding to leave him was one of the hardest decisions you ever had to make. You loved him, with all your heart but you simply couldn’t stick around anymore.

As you were walking you felt something change. Was it the atmosphere? Or was it just the traffic lights turning from red to green to yellow? It wasn’t that late at night but it was a weekday so the streets weren’t busy due to the fact that people were trying to get home as soon as possible to get some rest for their next day. You looked back and saw a man walking close but not too close behind you but you didn’t think anything of it. You couldn’t see his face because it was covered with a mask. Walking home wasn’t anything new to you. You lived just 10 minutes walking distance from the studio to your apartment you felt there was no need to waste gas. However something about tonight felt different. Extremely different.

“Crap please don’t be cracked”,
you said as your phone slipped from your hands and onto the hard concrete beneath you.

As you reached down to grab your phone you saw the same man, stopping as soon as you stopped walking.

Hm maybe he’s just walking the same way as me, don’t overthink it Y/N. You had always seen people to only have good intentions, never bad. That was your mistake. When you arrived to your apartment and reached for your keys, you checked your mailbox hoping your new lenses arrived. (They were replacements for the lenses your ex had broken during a fight you two had when you told him you wanted to leave him). Just as you were about to unlock your mailbox you suddenly jolted backwards as someone’s hand violently covered your mouth.

“If you scream or resist I won’t like that shit one bit babygirl and you really don’t want to get on my bad side.”

He gave a slight chuckle after, sending chills down your spine, if his voice had already hadn’t. He then spoke but not to you. He sounded to be speaking into a walkie talkie because you heard the beep noise after he had pressed the button.

“Alright guys I got her now hurry up and send two people so they can help me. I’ll send my location.” You were scared, no you were terrified. All of these thoughts were coming into your head
Am I going to live?
Are these people going to sell me and ship me to God knows where?
Something inside you made you speak up. You didn’t want to because you were afraid but something made the words come out.

“Who are you and what do you want from me?”
He ignored your questions so you then asked him again. And again. And again. At this point you were getting frustrated and angry, no longer feeling that nervousness in your stomach or the fear. Suddenly you heard a car pull up which definitely needed some new breaks. The car doors opened and you heard many footsteps approaching.

“All of you came? Are you fucking serious? I said only 2 people.” The annoyance he had in his voice made you giggle softly.

“Hey hey no need to get your panties in a twist JB, we just wanted to see the pretty lady Jinyoung wanted us to capture for him.” Who the hell was Jinyoung and why did he want you? You didn’t know anyone by the name of Jinyoung. And that guys name that was holding you was JB? The only JB you know is Justin Bieber and it sure as hell wasn’t him who was kidnapping you.

“Whatever just help me blindfold her and tie her up to get her in the van.”

“Oh no” you thought to yourself.
They’re actually taking me.
The reality and the terrified feeling kicked in and you bit his hand, making him hiss in pain and take it off of your mouth. The opportunity for you to scream and kick came, in hopes of being able to release yourself from JB’s grip.


“She’s a little feisty one”, said one of the other ones. JB had turned, taking your body along with his and you were facing them. You counted them and in total there were 7 boys. To be honest you had expected them to be ugly, you were so wrong because they weren’t. They were the complete opposite. Beautiful. Beautiful is the word you chose to describe them.


Wait Y/N you’re not supposed to be thinking that. These men are trying to kidnap you. All of a sudden you felt a cloth go over your nose. The strong scent filling your nostrils. Your head started to spin, making you feel dizzy and ready to pass out but before going into a full deep sleep you heard JB whisper in your ear,


“I told you not to scream or resist babygirl.”

___________________________________________________
Hey guys! This is my first time writing a fic and I hope I did good lol. I apologize if its bad but I hope you like it and stick around for future parts! (If you want to lol) (:
-Steph<3