this is the greatest thing to ever exist

♡ VALENTINE’S DAY (2010) SENTENCE STARTERS.

“ my closest relationship is with my blackberry, thank god it vibrates! ”
“ when i was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. ”
“ there you have it, folks. young love. ”
“ valentine’s day was a massacre in chicago where lots of people were killed. ”
“ i don’t feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public. ”
“ love is the only shocking act left on the planet. ”
“ if you’re ever with a guy/girl that’s too good for you, marry him/her. ”
“ i shut down my playerness from new years to st. patty’s day. ”
“ i need happy, i need romantic, i need love, and i need it from you. ”
“ i would crawl over cut glass to take you to the winter formal. ”
“ dude, he’s from indiana. they only celebrate love your cousin day. ”
“ did you even consider marrying me? ”
“ when you ask a girl to marry you, do you want her to just consider it? ”
“ then there’s the whole thing with my parents’ horrible… ”
“ oh don’t tell me, that’ll take the fun out of guessing. ”
“ i can’t stand the idea of some jerk hurting her, i just can’t. i can’t. ”
“ what’s the greatest love song of all time? ”
“ i’ve never had an inkling before. i wasn’t sure what to do with it. ”
“ what do you do with the flowers? ”
“ you don’t step in to love, you fall in. ”
“ apparently everyone and their mother felt that way but nobody had the guts to tell me. ”
“ have you ever seen someone fall head over heels in love? it’s ugly, bro. ”
“ love doesn’t exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people. ”
“ unfortunately, the truth makes everything else seem like a lie. ”
“ it’s not about defiance, it’s about what a man will do for love. ”
“ that is a really weird way to talk to your boss. ”
“ this is the busiest day of the year for phone sex. ”
“ you know, i’d like to say yes. but… i don’t know if i can afford it. ”
“ when you love someone, you love all of them… ”

You think I expect too much from you, 
But truth be told, I don’t need much.
Your presence is all I ever need.
Just the fact that you exist, 
is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
—  You are the greatest gift of all

“All I’ve ever done is dream. That, and only that, has been the meaning of my existence. The only thing I’ve ever really cared about is my inner life. My greatest griefs faded to nothing the moment I opened the window onto my inner self and lost myself in watching.
I never tried to be anything other than a dreamer. I never paid any attention to people who told me to go out and live. I belonged always to whatever was far from me and to whatever I could never be. Anything that was not mine, however base, always seemed to be full of poetry. The only thing I ever loved was pure nothingness…”— Fernando Pessoa

“I believe in you”

Tove Jansson first realized she was not entirely heterosexual in 1946, when she met and fell in love with Vivica Bandler. She wrote her friend Eva a letter about this new feeling; “You know that I feel myself to be Atos’s wife and I will probably always feel that way. But now I’m madly in love with a woman. And it feels completely natural and real, there is no problem in it. I just feel myself proud and very happy. These last few weeks have been like dancing.”

Of course Tove was a bit anxious and surprised about this realization. Yet she never expressed any fear and instead pondered her sexuality in a calm manner. She thought about it regarding her own life, fully aware of the prejudice of the society around her. But eventually, she chose to ignore all that.

“I don’t believe myself to be fully lesbian. I feel clearly that I cannot fall in love with any other woman than Vivica and my relationship with men is as it has always been. (…) People cannot understand, they have not experienced the same. Slander has already begun. But I don’t care. I might even lose Atos now… I just live through great happiness and great pain.”

After Vivica Tove would often struggle with lesbianism because it was so exhausting to be part of a minority in those times. For a while Tove thought about getting married with Atos Wirtanen, partially so she could stop “balancing between a man and a woman”. She was sometimes sure Vivica would be the last woman she ever loved. Fortunately Tove seems to have come to terms with her uncertainty.

Even though the love story between Tove and Vivica was short and ended mostly because Vivica moved on, after her death Vivica had left a note behind for Tove. The letter was written decades after their relationship ended, at the end of 1960s. In the letter, Vivica confessed her love for Tove and said that Tove was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. Just Tove existing had given Vivica comfort when she was in despair. She ended her letter with:

“The greatest love of my life has been you. Every time I hear your voice, see you or even hear about you, I tremble. I don’t believe in God, but I believe in you.”

Writing Dialogue

@daelliance asked: “How can you improve on writing dialogue that’s natural? It’s a problem I have and I want to try to fix it before I start writing my book.”

For most writers, dialogue is often considered either the easiest thing to put on the page or the greatest challenge. Ultimately, whether you’re an old pro or an eager beginner, writing exercises can help you to better your craft. Having these exercises exist outside of your on-going projects more often allow you to focus solely on craft and getting the dialogue right instead of conveying the information you want said in this scene.  

Here are a few things to try: 

1. Listening to conversations in coffee shops, on public transit, or among friends. This may be the creepiest piece of advice I’ll ever recommend, but it’s a pretty popular one. (And for good reason - it works!) When you’re just writing down exactly what is said, as it’s said, then you’re paying attention not so much to the content of the conversation, but how that information is being shared. What can you gather about the people based on this conversation and the words they’re using? What phrases and figures of speech stick out? 

Keep reading

About Berserk’s Ending

So recently I came across a lot of theories about the ending of Berserk on the internet and a lot of them were discussing the possibilities of a final clash between guts and Griffith and ways by which Guts could possibly overcome the rather vast power gap between them. There were discussions about the Berserker armour, the Elves, Shierke and of course the resident behelit.

However, even though many of these were interesting, I feel they rather miss the point of the kind of series Berserk has proved to be, repeatedly at this point.

This isn’t a battle that can be won with a ‘power up’.

because more than the difference in physical or astral power. Guts greatest weakness at this point, the thing that most will get in the way of him ever being able to exact his revenge is this.-


 Even if he hates Griffith now- after everything he has gone through during the eclipse- there’s still this version of him which he has buried in his heart. Which he remembers with warmth. Which represents the memories of the only happy times he  possibly ever had.

“The way he used to be” 

later in a panel “Don’t talk to me in that same voice!”

even to Rickert he says “This is not our Griffith.”

Because two versions of Griffith exist within Guts who he hasn’t been able to reconcile with each other (much like most readers of the series)

And towards the version he refers to as “their Griffith” he only seems to feel sadness and guilt. Having constant flashbacks to the day he left the hawks.

If anything he seems to miss him.

because though  Griffith is in the pit of his guiding black rage  he is also in the bubbles of light of his shaping memories. And until  he overcomes this ,Until he becomes fully willing to even start reconciling these two images with each other there’s no real use of gaining any other power.

And despite this there is no doubt in my mind  that in the event of a final clash Griffith will fall. and the reason for that is this-

He’s already moving involuntarily because of his heart .Already reacting to Guts and Casca being in danger. That’s HUGE as far as mortal weaknesses go.

Moving involuntarily to situations which can be reconstructed in the future.

In the end I feel it’s going to turn out to be battle of whose heart is more human .But in that case does anyone truly win ?

Hell - (shortscarystories)

There was no pearly gate.

The only reason I knew I was in a cave was because I had just passed the entrance. The rock wall rose behind me with no ceiling in sight.

I knew this was it, this was what religion talked about, what man feared .. I had just entered the gate to hell.

I felt the presence of the cave as if it was a living, breathing creature. The stench of rotten flesh overwhelmed me.

Then there was the voice, it came from inside and all around.

“Welcome”

“Who are you?”, I asked, trying to keep my composure.

“You know”, the thing answered.

I did know.

“You are the devil”, I stuttered, quickly losing my composure. “Why me? I’ve lived as good as I could”.

The silence took over the space as my words died out. It seemed like an hour went by before the response came.

“What did you expect?”

The voice was penetrating but patient.

“I don’t know .. I never believed any of this”, I uttered “Is that why I am here?”

Silence.

I continued: “They say the greatest trick you ever pulled was convincing the world you don’t exist”

“No, the greatest trick I ever pulled was convincing the world that there is an alternative”

“There is no God?” I shivered.

The cave trembled with the words: “I am God”

You Brute

Nessian, 2.5K, Rated T

A/N: There seems to be a general consensus that if Nessian were mates, Cassian would find out first. I wanted to have a little fun and have dear Nesta feel it. 

                                                 -o-0-o-

“And then—“ Cassian’s arm flew into the air, almost hitting Nesta in the face.

His scent overcame her, and she felt a snap within herself. Her eyes widened, and her knee hit the table. The words almost slipped right between her teeth, but she pressed her lips tightly together to keep the secret. Sitting next to him became almost unbearable, and she just wanted to be excused. She was overly aware of every feeling in the brute’s brain, and his insufferable need to leave the dinner table to take her home.

Her blood raced with that word. Mate. Mate. Mate Mate.

Scanning the table, Nesta checked to see if anyone noticed the outburst, but they were completely invested in Cassian’s story. A bead of sweat rolled down her back as she slumped slightly, relieved that no one saw her. Or so she thought. She caught eyes with Feyre sitting across from her. Her sister’s grin was filled with wicked delight.

Feyre definitely knew that Nesta’s mate bond snapped into place.

Nesta excused herself to use the restroom and practically stumbled to the hallway door. She leaned against the rough stone wall letting the cool rock calm her as she took slow breaths. They had been dating for the past thirteen months, fucking for the past eleven, and living together for the past seven. With how long they’d been with each other, both accepted that they definitely weren’t mates, and ignored any notion that they had to be. So it was certainly a shock when it felt like lightening struck her during their family dinner. She finally understood why Lucien couldn’t keep quiet for more than three seconds. The initial rush of it was overwhelming, and even now in the darkened hallway, she was keenly aware of Cassian’s subtle worry that she left. Rhys really deserved more credit for hiding it from Feyre for as long as he did.

With her forehead still on the wall, she heard the door open and scented her sister’s approach.

“Congratulations.”

Nesta rolled her head around towards her sister. “It does not feel like a congratulations are in order. Do you think he knows?”

Feyre walked over and put a hand on Nesta’s shoulder. “Probably not. Rhys fell off a cliff when he felt it, and I still didn’t know for months.”

“I’m pretty sure you were literally the only person who didn’t know. Even I had suspicions, and I didn’t even know what a mate was.” Feyre gave Nesta a small glare and removed her hand.

“What I’m saying is Cassian’s probably blind to it. The only reason I sensed it was because for the first time since I’ve become a daemati, I could see into your mind. Without shields, you were practically screaming that he was your mate.”

“Get out of my head.” Panic flooded Nesta. “Does Rhys know?”



“My guess is no. I asked him if he sensed anything strange from you, keeping it very vague. He only said that he heard your knee hit the table, but he wanted to leave you with a little bit of pride so he pretended not to notice.”

Nesta felt her head nod. The only thing she wanted right now was to be alone and settle herself. However, if she left now, that’d raise too many questions. And if she went home, Cassian would be there, and she couldn’t tell him. Not right now.

“Nesta. What are you thinking?”

She could just stay at Rhys and Feyre’s tonight. Then, she wouldn’t see him at home. The only issue was that she needed an excuse. A verbal brawl could constitute grounds for her leaving. She could start a fight at the table. “I think I’m going to yell at him.”

A pause. “Why, in all the courts of Prythian, would you do that?”

“So that I can stay at your townhouse tonight. I wouldn’t have to feel at all inclined about confronting him.”

Feyre’s eyes practically sent Nesta six feet under. “No. You are definitely not doing that.”

“But Rhys waited months before you ever knew. And he didn’t even tell you.”

“And look how well that turned out.” Nesta remembered the story of how Feyre left Rhys in the mud, not seeing him for a week before accepting the bond.

“I know that I probably will never understand this hiding of mate bonds,” Feyre began, waving her arms, “but I do know that Rhys does. If you want to talk to him about it, he probably has much better advice.”

“I really don’t think I want more people to know about this then there minimally has to be.”

“Eventually, Nesta, everyone would know. Rhys wanted to wait because of Tamlin and for our bond built on love. Clearly, you two don’t have a Tamlin, and you’re already in love. I do not see the problem.”

The problem was that Cassian wouldn’t want this level of commitment with her. The problem was that she might not want this level of commitment. The problem was that they’re bond may say that they’re equals, but they could still not be right for each other. They play fought often enough that it could be a possibility. The main problem, though, was that she did not trust anyone enough to share this grapple with, save for the male himself, and he was definitely not an option to talk to.

Thus, Nesta said, “I don’t know.”

Feyre huffed a sigh and turned to return to dinner.
“Can you at least create an excuse for me to spend the night at your place? If you’re so wary of me starting a fight.”

Looking back over her shoulder, Feyre eyed her sister. “Only if you agree to talk with Rhys.”

Nesta wanted to call her sister something vulgar, but refrained. “Fine.”


On the roof of the townhouse, Nesta took another shot. She wasn’t quite sure how much she’d had. Only that these damn fae senses made it far too difficult to become drunk. She heard Rhys come up about a minute ago. “Do you want to join me or are we both going to pretend that we talked to please my sister?”

Rhys approached and dropped his legs over the side of the roof. “To be honest with you, Nesta, your sister never told me what we were to talk about.”

Nesta just stared at the Sidra. This whole situation happened too fast, and she never even said the words aloud yet. She could feel that Cassian was sleeping and contented by the story of how Nesta and Feyre were going to have some sisterly bonding time. Maybe it was better to just rip off the bandage. Or maybe it was better to try pulling her shields down again, to see if Rhys could hear it. Eventually, she went with a combination.

“Cassian is my—“ There was a long pause.

His violet eyes forged into her, as if he could see the bond pulling her insides. She was certain the idiot of a High Lord was going to make her say it until he quietly suggested, “Mate?”

Nesta just nodded her head.

“At dinner?”

“You’re a bigger brute than Cassian, you know that?”

Rhys chuckled. “He doesn’t know, and you don’t want to tell him?”

Again, Nesta nodded.

The pair sat in silence for a long amount of time after that. Nesta never particularly cared for her either of her sisters’ mates, mainly because neither of the males were good enough for her sisters. She knew that both Rhys and Lucien were fine people but that did not change a thing. Ironically, she never thought herself good enough for Cassian.

“It’s quite terrifying. To share it. It may be the one thing that Feyre will never completely understand about me, “ Rhys said.

“What if—“

Rhys raised his hand. “But it is also the greatest thing to ever happen in my 500 years of existence.”

“He’ll probably say no. Or he might leave,”

“I can’t say he won’t, but I do know that he is the most loyal bastard I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. I understand that you think he might leave given his…history. But, Nesta, Feyre proved to be very loyal to her lovers, or at least Tamlin, in the past and I was still scared. On the day she found out, I had wasted the entire day in my own head trying to encourage myself to tell her.”

“You’re an incredibly dopey male.”

“That makes you an incredibly dopey female.”

“It has been a few hours. Not months. I don’t think you can constitute me as incredibly anything yet.”

“Then, you’re just a dopey female.”

Nesta bared her teeth at him.

Rhys borrowed her amber liquid and took a small swig. “Do you know what my greatest regret is?”

“That you’re incredibly brooding? That your mate can beat you up? That you told those queens about Velaris? That Elain and I are high fae? Not that I blame you anymore.”

“No and no. The last two were for a long time, but I’ve recently reevaluated everything. Velaris healed, and you two…adjusted. But now my greatest regret is that I never told Feyre earlier. I could live with a decimated city. I could live with the Archerons as fae as long as they could. But, I could not live with either of those things without knowing Feyre was mine.”

Nesta sighed. “I don’t think that ‘incredibly dopey’ covered it well enough.”

Rhys paused for a second, looking contemplative about the insult, before gesturing for her to proceed.

“You’re absolutely sure he doesn’t know?”

“I can’t be absolutely sure about anything, but if you’re asking if he’s ever lost his shield and screamed it to me, no. Nor have we had a liquor aided heart to heart about it.”

The two sat in silence on the roof, passing the bottle back and forth until the sun rose up over the horizon. Rhys sent her home in the morning.

“Nesta, you don’t have to tell him today, or even tomorrow. But I would tell him as soon as you can.”

She barely heard him as she walked down the stairs.


Nesta still hadn’t said anything. It had been three weeks, and Feyre and Rhys were growing so impatient that Feyre threatened to put Nesta in a near death situation just to drag Cassian out to the Suriel, so it could tell Cassian for her. It was becoming particularly overwhelming to exist in the same space as him.

Even now, while he just sat there with a book, Nesta could not bear to read hers. She was turning the pages of her novel every few seconds after Cassian. His legs were thrown over the arms of the chair, and he sat sideways in it like a child. It was not the way the chair was supposed to accommodate wings. However, it did wonders for his legs as the chair pushed his muscles out into a relaxed, though still prominent, position. His left arm bent up to hold his novel making his muscles flex slightly. Their chandelier above them made the shadows under his jaw—

She shook her head. This was the issue with the mate bond. Before, Nesta could snap herself out of these sort of situations. But now, it was unbearable not to think of Cassian, or what she wanted to do to him. It made her a simpering female and far too territorial.

Cassian turned his page, and as Nesta was about to turn hers, he called, “Sweetheart, you could at least skim your eyes over your book to pretend you’re reading over there.”

Nesta hissed. “Maybe this book is boring, and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Cassian just gave her a suggestive look that welcomed her disruptions anytime, and she could feel through the bond that he was very serious. She must have been staring.

“What’s on you mind, sweetheart? Because that look does not say you want to take me or that you want to kill me.”

She should just say it. Tell him. Get it off her chest. But instead she spit out. “What would you do if you found your mate?”

“And it wasn’t you?”

Nesta looked back with an almost vicious smile, “Well, yeah. We’ve already established that you and I aren’t.” Liar. She was a cauldron damned liar, but she was very curious to see how Cassian would treat his mate.

He looked off, clearly trying to find a nice way to let Nesta down. “I’d imagine that it’d be a fairly intense feeling, but I’d still try to make this,” he gestured between the two of them, “ work. I know Rhys’s parents are the classic case of mates gone wrong. And I do know that our relationship has definitely yet to go wrong. So I’d probably stay with you Nesta, for fear of something going wrong in the other relationship.”

“What if you fell straight on your ass in love for them, though?”

Cassian completely stilled. “Nesta. Are you asking because you found your mate? If you did, I’ll be very happy for you. It may take me some time, but I can adjust.” He looked away while still shifting in his chair so his body faced her. “You can still live here for the time being if he, or she, is looking for a house for the two of you. However, if I found my mate, I’d probably let you down a little gentler than this. I wouldn’t make you spell it out for me.”

He took a deep breath, and as she was about to respond, he interrupted. “So I’m going to ask you one more time. Did you find your mate?”

In his panic, he answered the question of whether or not he knew about the bond. She felt him try to reign in his anger and jealousy.

She took a dramatic, deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”

Cassian nodded his head as if he suspected as much. “Would I know them?”

“You probably wouldn’t recognize them now. They used to be fairly cocky, much like your self, but recently they are fairly skittish.”

“Did they go through a taxing experience?” Cassian asked as his brows furrowed.

“I mean he found out I’m his mate, which seems pretty dramatic. He’s also just trying to process it all.” She slipped and used a gender pronoun.

“Do you love him?”

She looked him straight in the eye. “I haven’t said anything yet, but I do. He’s said it countless times.”

“Have you slept with him?”

“He’s the best lover a girl could ask for.”

Cassian just sat there, mulling over her words. “He sounds an awful lot like me.”

“Does he?”

If Nesta thought Cassian was still before, it was nothing compared to now. He sat there with that immortal stillness as he stared at her. She heard his heart pounding in his chest and his heavy breathing. “Nesta. Are we….Am I… Are you…Are we mates?”

Rather than answering immediately, she pulled an apple out from under her and chucked it at his face. He barely caught it.

“Yeah, you brute. You’re my mate.”

Dawning in Dust: Prologue

The world had ended.

“Well, if not ended,” Claire supposed, looking upon the deadened landscape with a dispassionate gaze, “it came as close as it could reasonably get.”

Sweat trickled down her neck, tickling its way beneath her shirt collar and down her spine. The feel of it felt like a touch long lost, and she shifted her shoulders to rid herself of it. Her husband gone, the gold wedding band on her hand all that remained to tell of his existence in her life. With a small huff, Claire stood and gathered her pack of belongings, shielding her eyes from the unyielding sun with a hand.

“Now you’re talking to yourself. Lovely, Beauchamp,” she muttered, turning her eyes this way and that to try and catch her bearings amongst the rolling hills of what was once known as Scotland. Thoughts of the once lush landscapes made her heart squeeze, and not just for the loss of the beauty it had held. Three days hiking in the hills on foot was tiring and hungry work and, as a rule, she preferred edible greenery over insects any day of the week.

What day is it? Claire wondered suddenly. Did anyone still keep track? She didn’t think to ask at the small cabin she’d encountered recently. The man of the house had been wary at first, but allowed her to examine his wife and two daughters who had catarrh. After exchanging medicinals and medical advice for food and shelter, she’d curled up by the hearth and slept in rare warmth all night.

They may have let her stay longer, but Claire was up and away before the little family woke next morning. She smiled to herself, kicking a small rock and watching it tumble down the hill. Leave it to the Scots to still take strangers in, even at the end of the world. She still liked to think of the countries as they had been before The End, many years before.

Before the greatest and last World War destroyed whole countries and killed millions. Before technology died, the ozone layer likely permanently depleted, and modern civilization ceased to exist. It was like a small grain of comfort to her. As if mapping the land in her mind brought a sense of fleeting stability to her nomadic and desperate life. Claire smirked at the thought, shrugging her pack on and taking the first step down the hillside.

If there was one thing anyone could ever say about Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Randall, it would be that her life was never “normal”.

bowtochris  asked:

I'm working on a high fantasy late capitalism RPG, named Shotguns & Socialites, whose history is based off of RPG cliches and random people get superpowers themed by their profession. Do you have any probably bad RPG ideas?


I present these probably bad ideas for your approval:

- The world has the standard dungeons (fire-themed, ice-themed, spooky-themed, machine-themed, etc) but now they have been gentrified and mostly contain horrifyingly dangerous Starbucks

-  You are a hitman, but obviously you need to keep this secret. Now you have to come up with a valid excuse for the police as to why you have developed the power to teleport people to the bottom of lakes with concrete boots on.

- There are so many “collect/destroy/use this artifact to win” artifacts that they are now all kept in a big warehouse and the adventure is a quest to navigate its bureaucracy and sign for them

- You work in an office, and now have an instinctive control over printers that you use to torment Pam from accounting

- Every PC is the chosen one. Not for something big like “save the world” but for things like “revitalise the local korean takeaway” or “write a pretty decent, but not great, book” or “have the cleanest car in the neighborhood for two weeks running”. Yes, there is a bored old wizard who has to recite a rhyming prophecy for all of these.

- Homer Simpson exists in this setting and has gained a superpower for each one-episode job he has ever had. He is the most powerful and dreaded entity in the setting. Even the greatest of heroes flee before his mighty “d’oh”.


anonymous asked:

Ha, if Riskua and Ace get married / have an actual ceremony (pirate version of course) can you imagine the guest list? Like, the Red Hairs and Whitebeards are this close to getting into a free for all while their captains are having a drinking contest that devolves into a Dad-Off. Someone needs to keep stopping Mihawk and Zoro from deciding to have their next duel at the venue. Sabo's taking blackmail pics of everyone. And then Garp decides to gatecrash cause its his precious grandkids wedding.

It’s the one meeting of the World’s most wanted and the Marines are so twitchy but they can’t do a damn thing about it. Because the Red Hair Pirates and the Whitebeards are bad enough, but the Revolutionaries too? (Dragon’s daughter as adopted via Luffy’s declaration of siblinghood?) The entire Strawhats Armada has turned up, along with their begruding allies. (“Let go of me, Strawhat-ya!” “But Traffy, ‘Skua said to bring a date!” “And you immediately thought of me?!” “And you thought of him?!” “Oh! Hiya, Sabo!” “…good day, Revolutionary-ya.”)

And Mihawk has ferried Shanks’ wifey all the way over the oceans to join in, all the while alternating between giving Ace the evil eye and Zoro a disappointed scowl. Even Boa Hancock is there to see her future sister-in-law beloved Luffy’s sister be married.

Ace’s so nervous he falls asleep three times and Marco has to carry him to the ceremony. Lucky he wakes up just before he’s due to take his place.

Shanks weeps when he sees Riskua in her dress, repeatedly asking if she’s sure about this and it’s not too late to run, that she’s always welcome on the Red Force. Riskua just laughs and wonders how this became her life.

Meanwhile Sanji alternates between balling his eyes out for Riskua who’s about to get hitched suppressing his own experience with weddings and determinedly creating the greatest wedding buffet to ever exist. Only the best for the Strawhats’ Goddess of the Sea. (He also made the cake, which becomes a thing of legend among pirate chefs hundreds of years later)

anonymous asked:

where do you find these great tom gifs ? Lol

I am about to reveal my greatest, most well-kept secret.

I make them myself from clips I recorded from the movie “Excuse Me For Living.” I highly recommend it to everyone because Tom Pelphrey is AMAZING in it.

The story is about a spoiled, sarcastic, drug-addicted, rich guy who ends up in a rehab clinic. Basically, it’s what would happen if you dropped Ward Meachum into the middle of a romcom. I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING. IT COULD BE THE GREATEST THING I’VE EVER DISCOVERED.

But be warned. It is also the worst movie in existence. I’m serious. It’s REALLY bad. The writing, a lot of the acting, even the production value is super low. But all of Tom’s scenes are pure gold, so I bought the movie and haven’t regretted it since.

I mean. Just look at him.

There also multiple scenes of Tom shirtless, and even bare-assed ;) It’s a very fun movie. You wouldn’t believe the gifs I have to share with you all.

It’s on Amazon if you’re interested. ;) If you’re a fan of Ward or Tom, you won’t be disappointed.

“There’s no place like home.“

But what if home is a needle filling your veins?

What if home is feeling the warmth

dispersing through your entire body,

Until it has consumed you?

"Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

And god damn, we weren’t.

After it crawls up your arm and swallows you

There is a mini explosion of pure pleasure

And then you are in another world.

The first time I tried it,

Man, I was already hooked.

It was a lustful vision,

filled with nothing more than constant bliss.

“Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”          

I didn’t know how I would ever live

without my best friend, again.

One week turned into two, and two to four.

$15 into $30, to $60, and even $120 a day.

“Houston, we have a problem.”

Nothing could be worse than this.

The end of the world seemed to be coming,

Yet nobody around me seemed to notice.

I felt the world spinning at my feet

And everything was still at once.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”

He does, though.

He isn’t a tiny man with horns and a tail,

He comes in the form of powder

And he makes your life hell without even trying.

“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

I’m gonna gamble with my life.

I need more warmth,

I need more life,

I need his lustful kiss.

You have to keep him close,

Because without him where would you be?

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

He was the only thing close to me.

He was the only one I need.

“It wasn’t the airplanes. It was Beauty that killed the Beast.“

He makes you fall in love

Then pushes you off a cliff.

There’s two ways out and one is death,

Well, nobody’s perfect.

"You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk? Do ya?”

6

Everything is perfect in this show.

At 5

You learn the word homosexual. You don’t really know what it means, but you know one of them moved in down the street and is going to be attending your church. Your parents are angry about it, and your brother just rolls his eyes. Why do your parents hate homosexuals so much? At 5, you learn that to be a homosexual is to earn your parents’ hatred.

At 9

You become friends with the girl who lives across from you. She is ten, which is the most amazing thing to you. The two of you spend an entire summer becoming the best of friends. If anyone asked, you would tell them she was the greatest person to ever exist. One day when you two are in her tree house she kisses your cheek. That’s the first time you understand what it means to have butterflies in your stomach. From then on they beat against your rib cage any time you see her. As the summer comes to a close you are back in the tree house. This time she kisses your lips. It’s quick, barely even a kiss, but it sends the butterflies into a frenzy. You are so happy that this girl is your best friend. You tell your mom because you’re ecstatic that you could be so close with someone. Your mom goes ballistic, and suddenly you can’t see her anymore. At 9, you find and lose something you treasured.

At 12

You learn the word gay. It’s the same thing as homosexual. You think you must be gay. It would make so much sense, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, you also learn the word faggot. If you’re gay then you’re a faggot, and no one at your school likes faggots. At 12, you decide you won’t be gay.

At 14

You end up in the same high school as your childhood best friend. You immediately become close again. She tells you that she’s bi, and it’s the first time you have heard that word. Maybe you’re bi? Would it be easier to be bi than gay? You tell your parents about your friend and what she told you. They are angry, and you feel your heart shatter like glass. If you can’t be bi, then you certainly can’t be gay. Your parents forbid you from seeing your friend again. Later that night your brother tells you to be friends with whoever you want. You listen to him. At 14, you take a small step toward being yourself.

At 16

You meet a girl. She’s bi, like your best friend, and she’s brought back the butterflies you had at 9. Everything about her makes you happy. You would do anything to tell your parents, but you know you can’t. The harsh words they have said echo in your mind every time you think of it. Still, you stay with the girl. Word gets out at school, and you’re painfully reminded of the word faggot. It’s hissed at you in halls, and painted on your locker. It becomes your new name, branded on the inside of your eyelids so you can never forget. Your best friend reminds you of the phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” then you tell her that it isn’t just a word. It’s a knife. No, it’s a sword that’s plunged into your gut every day. One day it is too much, and you break up with the girl. She says you broke her heart, but you assure her that yours is broken too. At 16, you break your own heart.

At 19

You are out of your town. You’re attending a university in the city, and everything feels so much better. The campus is one of the most accepting places you have ever been to. Your best friend is with you. She introduces you to a Gay Straight Alliance club. It took nineteen years, but you finally feel like you belong. You decide your parents and brother need to know. You sit in the living room with them over fall break. Sweat runs down your neck, and your hands won’t stop shaking. It feels like your stomach might be alive with butterflies, but these are angry. They’re hornets, threatening to rip through your skin and escape. You have never said the word gay in front of your family. When you finally do it feels like a bullet leaving your mouth. Everyone is stunned into silence. Your brother is the first to talk. He says he loves you. Your parents repeat him. The word love plays on an endless loop between the four of you. You are out of the closet. Everything did get better.

At 19, you are free.

Do not be amazed for Colour Bandits have no morals these days

so i just wanted to bring back the Colour Bandit because it’s the greatest most inspiring thing i’ve ever seen until this very day. Thanks @kickthepj for existing, you make my gooey brainbox a bright and happy place. 

anonymous asked:

have you read the perks of being a wallflower?

absolutely! i read it for the first time in 7th grade, then again when i was a sophomore. definitely a book i will never forget. i also own the movie, which is one of the greatest things to ever exist by the way. highly recommend!