this is the funniest scene in the entire movie fight me

Thor: Ragnarok is extra as fuck and I am so down with that.

Oh, sweet Odin, you don’t know how much I fucking needed this movie in my life.

Now, I am one of the only MCU fans on the planet who not only loves the Thor movies but would like to happily tell the rest of the MCU fans to fuck off the edge of my metaphorical dick for constantly ragging on them. They are fun films with lots of charm and I can’t stand that Thor is constantly thrown under the bus by these same fans who worship worthless characters left and right and yet won’t give the God of Thunder the time of day. Well, if nothing else, I think the naysayers have to admit that Thor: Ragnarok if nothing else will be the most memorable film in his trilogy. To me, it’s like a giant, decadent chocolate sundae. It gets sweeter with every bite and you love every second of it. Naturally, spoilers ahead.

Overall Grade: A-/B+

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Kyōsei Thoughts

Ok, I try to keep this as short as possible. I’m still emotional af…
if you wanna avoid spoilers just scroll down NOW!

I only cover the things that moved me, either in a positive or negative way. fyi

I start with the return to the human world. Ok people apparently freak out about digimon and therefore it’s totally legit to have the police involved. I nearly pissed myself when Yamato went like “it’s Taichi’s fault. He started running.” Takeru then said “We also started running.” And Taichi concluded “We’re running now anyways. It would be stupid to stop now.” That is SO them. Kinda brought back their ‘99 mentalities. In my opinion the police as well as the detectives(?) could have been a bit harsher to the kids. How about some handcuffs, more discussion, more yelling, etc.?

It was quite cute to see Taichi’s and Hikari’s mum. I love her, she is brilliant. We all know she sucks at cooking but does it anyways. However, I’d love to see more of the parents reaction, especially of Takeru’s and Yamato’s parents. I mean they both work in the media branche and I kinda hope to see them being torn between their journalist ethics and their role as a parent. But I think toei won’t give me that.

GHOST STORIES! probably the funniest scene of entire tri. nothing to add. Now to the telephone scenes. Mimi called her mum in tears while standing next to the mum of the group. SWEET! Completely sweet scene in general, however I wish we could have heard at least bits and pieces of all calls. I mean she can only see but not hear (does that make sense?) one conversation. Takeru: you wanna talk to mum? Yamato: nope. The call of the Yagami siblings was nice. And IF their mum could see into the future she would have chosen different words.

Taichi’s and Meiko’s talk was kinda senseless. Toei, we ALL know that Meiko has troubles, she is confused, scared and helpless. Redundant. I strongly dislike the MeiChi hints. I mean, the idea to give Taichi a girl is not the worst but those two aren’t made for each other. But one thing made me absolutely scream. Tailmon: I tell Hikari (cuz his sis should know) Biyomon: I tell Sora (cuz his possible-girl should know)…. Pause….. Gabumon: “I tell Yamato (cuz… TaiYama)

Fighting scenes were good. Very happy about the split screen for the evolution although I would have liked to see Agumon and Gabumon individually. OMNIMOM <3333

Maki’s death(?) didn’t bother me too much apart from hurting my cinnamon roll.

I’m gonna go through the rest quickly bc feels
- killing Meicoomon is a result I can accept
- Taichi sacrificing himself? Kinda selfish tbh.
- felt like Taichi had more power over Omnimon than Yamato. Dunno why…
- Yamato’s, let me call it instructions, were absolutely reasonable. He would have cried for sure but that just isn’t him.
- Hikari being super down was absolutely reasonable too, everyone who has a sibling can understand her feels. Poor Hikari…
- The Fusion of Meicoomon and Ophanimom scares me as much as ghosts scare Yamato.

Prediction for the next movie: I SO hope that Taichi and Daigo are fine and maybe find the 02 kids. I mean they fell from somewhere, too….?

OVER AND OUT (for now)

instead of ordinary apart|| old man logan

Originally posted by awsquad

I love this scene from DOFP. If you haven’t watched it, please do because it’s actually the funniest thing I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Also, this title goes to Shonda Rhimes & Greys Anatomy.

Part I - Logan won’t tell you what’s really wrong with him, so you set to find out why. 

Part II - You ever wonder why all the cliche romance movies have a scene where the couple argue about the other person in the middle of the night and then end up kissing? Yeah… you’ll learn that first hand. 


This is much shorter then the last one. Enjoy!

@house-of-penguin @itsbrittbrattt @weasleytheking @drewkelliii @avengers-bucky-fanfic @tigers-have-teeth @agirlinherhead

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anonymous asked:

Ok so I've seen PotC5 and for me the whole movie is appalling. Why do you think Johnny made the character so disgusting? His jokes just made me sad bc JD as a person has a great sense of humor so...??? What does that mean? Why is that all about fucking all the ladies who happened to be around? Why is he always so stupid when he was proven to be really intelligent in the original trilogy? Just... bullshit. And why did Johnny like the film???

Sorry it took so long to answer this, I wanted to watch the film before I responded. 

DOUBLE WARNING: I wasn’t impressed, so if you’re looking for a glowing review please pass by, i’m sorry kids

Basically, I agree with most of this. And to answer your last question: Johnny would have liked this film because this is how Johnny wanted to play Jack.

Guys. I think we’re all trying to ignore that fact and blame his antics in the film on the writer exclusively. But doing that is ignoring that A) Johnny co-wrote the script and B) the MULTIPLE comments we all know Johnny has made, in the past AND on this very press tour, about how he believes Jack has no character arc or depth, and is just there to have fun. The directors ALSO said this.

Here’s the thing: I understand the defence about ‘the character was written that way in this film, he’s supposed to be down and then redeem himself.’ And I’m all for that! I would love to see that! The problem is, I didn’t see that at all. It’s set up perfectly to give Jack a redemption arc. That’s clearly what the script intended. 

But it’s not what Johnny intended. And it’s not what the directors intended.

Lottie put it so much better in her review, here. But what it comes down to is this equation: 

The main actor and the directors believing Jack has no arc nor depth + the script giving Jack an arc and depth = the mess we ended up with.

As Lottie put it: 

I could ultimately see what they were trying to do, and it kind of worked in the first half, but it was so poorly executed because ultimately they created a contradiction for themselves. the directors and Johnny have stated on multiple occasions that Jack is now apparently a character without arc or development, and yet they put him into a narrative where he is supposed to change in some way between the start and end point. I said this before when I remarked last week that it was ironic he had an ‘arc’ in this movie considering those comments: he’s meant to get somewhere, regain his rep, return to a ( mostly ) sober state – but they kept stagnating him in the narrative because he is this weird arc-less character at this point. it just didn’t make any fucking sense. if you’re going to put a static character into a narrative ( as Jack apparently is nowadays ), then you don’t put him in it at a relative low point, changed from the last time we saw him as an audience and apt to change/develop along the course of the narrative as he ‘redeems’ himself. you’re just writing yourself into a brick wall. he should have been FINE the moment the Black Pearl was restored, but they kept returning him to this earlier drunken, idiotic state without reason even after that point and it just made the whole thing really sloppy. you want to paint Jack at his lowest point? well by doing so, you’re giving the audience a stake in seeing Jack redeem himself and return to the character we know and love – and yet there was no obvious sign that had happened, no natural development that saw him slowly but steadily getting his groove back and taking control of his own narrative until the very end, when suddenly he was absolutely fine even though he’d been fighting plot convenient alcoholism for the entire movie. 

And that’s the truth of it. And you can’t blame it entirely on the writer or script (though he DOES have some explaining to do about just ignoring the trilogy completely *cough* compass *cough*). It was Johnny’s choice to play Jack with no obvious redemption arc, as the script set him up to do by showing us at what is obviously meant to be his lowest point.

And it’s not bad acting, it’s just Johnny’s character choice. With many movies you can say ‘don’t blame the actor, blame the script!’ But you and I all know that doesn’t apply to Johnny. Johnny doesn’t blindly follow the script. Johnny wants what he wants and Johnny gets what he wants. He WANTED Jack to be the humorous relief. He WANTED Jack to have no depth or arc - leave that to the other characters. It’s his choice and he chose. I’m not here to tell him he *can’t* choose something for a character he created. I don’t like it, but I’m not here to salivate over everything he does and everything he chooses anyways. 

He’s made lots of choices I don’t like. We all remember Private Resort. 😜

So anyways, clearly I had a problem with the way Jack was portrayed so I think you can guess my feelings about the content of the jokes he cracked. They were lazy and annoying, and I knew already how he described Elizabeth from all the comments I heard, but I still wasn’t prepared for how sick it made me feel, watching him descend to that level. It was disgusting. Johnny said he ‘really upped the stakes with the humour,’ and in my opinion he completely missed the mark and just made him so off-putting. 

AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH ALL THE SEX JOKES???? not even just Jack but like… everyone???? Carina and Henry went on about his hand placement, the horologist thing was funny for about 5 seconds and then became stupid, MARTY JOKED ABOUT FUCKING SCRUM’S MOTHER like honestly i was so put off by seemingly every attempt at humour. The boat undressing scene was somehow even more disgusting in the film than the trailers, and that wedding scene??? fuck off. It added absolutely nothing to the plot, was put in for what I’m assuming was supposed to be comedic effect but wasn’t at all funny (to me), and used the tired old trope of ‘let’s make the leading man have to entertain the presence of this fat chick he refers to as an object so the audience can laugh at how gross she is.’ Johnny’s facial expressions were honestly great in that scene but I couldn’t even appreciate it because I was so repulsed by the whole thing.


  • How protective Jack was of Henry, even if he didn’t show it overtly. Which is one of the only three moments where i recognized Old Jack (overtly sassy and pretends not to care about people but through actions shows he deeply does)
  • Second thing where I glimpsed Old Jack: The smile after the Pearl rose from the water. I saw that grin and I started grinning and Andrea looked over and asked me if I was crying LOL
  • Third thing where I glimpsed Old Jack: When his crew leaves him. That hurt look on his face tore me up.
  • CARINA. Seriously, can anyone claim that Carina did not carry this fucking film. I honestly kept thinking ‘Jack can u shut the fuck up so Carina can talk please.’ Carina was great.
  • Scrum. He fucking kills me, man. When he was trying to save Carina; man I was dying with laughter
  • Gibbs - there was one moment that for some reason was the funniest and purest moment of the whole movie? And I don’t know if anyone else even caught it and maybe it’s just cause I watched P1,2,3 all this weekend - there was a moment where they were on the Dying Gull while it was still on land and they didn’t know if it would even sail, and Jack bellowed some order like ‘prepare to set sail’ or some shit. and usually whenever Jack gives orders, Gibbs will repeat them and expand on them and give more details of what to do like ‘Prepare to cast off!’ ‘Prepare to fire!’ etc.; he’s the first mate obvs! But this time when Jack gave the order, Gibbs just goes, ‘Prepare to drown!’ AND I WAS DYING i was like the only one laughing but it was just so perfectly timed and delivered and sassed????
  • Barbossa - Geoffrey did well with what he was given and though i think the reveal of that whole emotional tie was super rushed and not well explained, I think Geoffrey did really well with what he was given to work with, and had my eyes watering in *that* scene

Anyways that was a novel but i started answering your question and then it turned into a full fucking review apparently - feel free to ask about any parts of the movie you want to know how I felt about, but be warned I’m in a very honest and unforgiving mood right now 😈


25. Swiss Army Man: This is probably the most interesting movie of 2016 and an amazing soundtrack with equal parts weird and genius to match it. It sometimes overplays its hand but it mostly sticks to what it’s good at and tries to find the meaning of life for us.

24. Kubo and the Two Strings: Stop motion at it’s finest. I honestly didn’t know you could do some of the visuals they did with stop motion. The story is a little predictable but that isn’t the point. You don’t care because it’s told so expertly and beautifully that it makes the biggest cynic in me hush up.

23. A Bigger Splash:  Ralph Fiennes is an alien. He’s just out here paying for our sins and just dancing his ass off while doing this incredible monologue about how he made records with the Rolling Stones. Along with an incredible Ralph Fiennes performance you get a very tense thriller with a gorgeous greek island backdrop for it all.

22. Little Men: Growing up sucks but so does being an adult. Little men goes a long way into showing us how those two things aren’t separate but actually very interrelated and one things contributes to the other. It’s a movie about family quarrels and how we each individually handle it.

21. 10 clover field lane: Quite possibly the most surprising movie of the year, when I heard there was another clove field movie I couldn’t care less. But when you see that it’s just John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Gallagher Jr. starring in it, I was back on board and it didn’t disappoint. John Goodman was so good, a little too good. I started questioning my love for him a little. Just a little. Also, can we please cast MEW in everything now. She’s so good and has been for a very long time. I’m talking since the Sky High era.

20. Midnight Special: The beginning of this movie is the best version of early Steven Spielberg that’s been done this decade. I think it’s better than Super 8 and I’m sure most people would agree with me. It’s a dark, mysterious and action thriller. The last third of the movie begins to fall off the rail just a tad and they were better off probably leaving this entire movie in the dark. But they took a chance and that in of itself is admirable in 2016.

19. Sing Street: This is John Carney’s third movie musical and it feels like his most personal. The story about kids in a band trying to make it out of 1980’s or so Ireland is something I probably wouldn’t care about but I loved it. The music is so well done and all the music videos or so are top notch and the story has enough of the through-line that everything sticks together and never falls apart.

18. Zootopia: Zootopia is the best case scenario of what a children’s animated movie can do. It is funny and cute and a delight to watch from beginning to end but it also goes another level deeper and discusses issues like race and prejudices towards others and allows parents to ease into difficult conversations with their kids they might need to have.

17. Barry: As far biopics go, there are plenty to choose from but the problem with most of them is the actual people their chronicling aren’t that interesting. That’s not the case for this one because Barrack Obama is one of the most interesting people to have ever lived. Like him, love him or hate him (you should love him) to be able to see what was going on his head as a freshman in College dealing with the stuff we all went through and still becoming a voice of the people is absolutely fascinating.

16. Lion: The first part of the movie where it follows the kid is so beautiful and the best version of Slumdog Millionaire since Slumdog Millionaire that it kind of sucks when in the middle where all the white savior cliches start to show up and it becomes very awkward for a while. But all is forgiven in the final scene which is so beautiful and honest and thank god it didn’t end in a traditional bollywood number.

15. Green Room: RIP Anton Yelchin, after a terrible year where 2016 took everyone you sometimes forget they took this amazing and coming actor from us. But he left us one last gem for us in Green Room. It is a super tense, dark and often gruesome movie about a punk band being hunted down in a Neo Nazi bar.

14. The Nice Guys: The Nice Guys is a nice reminder that Ryan Gosling isn’t like you or me. This man is out here saying the most outrageous one-liners I’ve ever heard and making it work. He’s making the types of face only gods chosen son could make. He’s such a good actor that it’s kind of horrifying to think he’s this funny as a PI with a dope mustache and a cast trying to connect a porn murder to a gas crisis. I could talk a lot about everything else this movie does well but we all know its the Ryan Gosling show and I’ll tune in every single time.

13. Edge of Seventeen: Edge is probably my favorite High School comedy since Mean Girls. It’s smart, funny and all around well rounded. It gives everyone a chance to speak their peace and have their own battles to fight in a way most movies of this genre doesn’t do, even the good ones. Not to mention this movie probably had the funniest moment in 2016 with the newly appointed god, Erwin Kim, shooting his shot on a ferris wheel. All I can say about that performance is #ErwinKim4President.

12. The little Prince: The story of the little prince has been told over and over again but what separates this story is the story of the little girl and the old man in it. Their friendship is very pure in a way that is almost extinct. They both allow each other learn what it means to be alive in their own sense and give each other something worth fighting for by sharing the stories of the little prince.

11. Rogue One: I’ll go out and say it; this is my favorite Star Wars film. It’s an absolute blast and made going to the movie theater a fun and involved experience. Seeing faces like Diego Luna, Forrest Whitticker, Donnie Yen, Riz Ahmed and many others in the the Star Wars universe made me so happy. It allowed diversity feel normal and relaxed instead of forced which most of these blockbusters feel like. Not to mention they’re all real characters more or less and all the battle scenes are jump out of your seats great. Also, BOGALLACK FOR LIFE

10. Don’t think Twice: In 2016, we have come to  live in a bittersweet world and this movie encapsulates that feeling. There are moments of heartbreak and sadness but also moments of sincerity and kindness. It also brings up the pain and sadness from everyday responsibilities with very little use of tragedy. Which is refreshing because in lesser movies of this genre it would have deep roots in deep tragedy.

9. Fences: Fences is a great reminder that it isn’t always about where you’re heading but its the journey you take to get there. And this two hours and change of a journey is accompanied by the gods Denzel Washington and Viola Davis, who have to be two of the best working on screen performers. The only gripe I have with this movie is that it needs more Viola Davis on the screen. She’s the most magnetic force in a movie with Denzel Washington. She’s doing laps around him and he’s out here killing it too.  

8. Everybody wants Some!: Richard Linklater just makes good ass movies. I want to sound as critical as possible but I just can’t with this movie, it’s just a good as movie. Everybody Wants Some is a great hang out movie to just have on. You can just look up at any second and kind of know what’s going on and then proceed to laugh your ass off or have a deep self reflection about what it means to be young. The characters are all great and it is a worthy spiritual successor to Dazed and Confused.

7. Arrival: Dennis Villeneuve is the best film maker working. He continually makes one of the best movies of the year every year. The man has no misses on his Filmography. In Arrival he’s tasked to do something that almost unheard of, make a smart science fiction movie. That’s exactly what he does. Even if the story is more fiction than science it’s more worried about expressing the science and the humanity of the story. The aliens in this movie merely a framing device he uses to shape a larger conversation of humanity and communication. If that isn’t enough you get the usual jaw-drapping visuals you get with his other films such as Prisoners and Sicario.

6. Hunt for Wilderpeople: I’ll be damned if this isn’t the funniest movie of the year. A story of an adopted and more or less forgotten child and recent widower on the run from the police should not have been this funny. But not only is it incredibly funny but it’s very heartfelt and caring of the people in it. It’s a movie you can watch with little toddlers to your grandparents and everyone would have a great time. Also there’s a dog named Tupac in it.

5. American Honey: American Honey is a sincere look at the American Dream in Donald Trump’s America. It’s the forgotten and abused youth trying to find a home in a life away from the one they grew up in. In it you are welcomed to a world that seems somehow in our backyards but a million miles away. The camera teats everyone on screen with so much respect for them and their stories that are often swept under the rug just like themselves.

4. Silence: Silence is movie about pain and suffering and the will of those trying to deal with that pain and suffering. This movie isn’t for everyone with how bludgeoning it is throughout. But in it’s pain you find the true honesty of what people are searching for with religion and it isn’t always what you want it be but it is what it is.  

3. Manchester By the Sea: Do you remember when your mom or dad or aunt would tell you, “No matter how bad you have it, someone has it worse,” after you didn’t get a call back for that job you really wanted. Well this movie is that phrase put on the big screen. The people in this movie have had hell thrown there way and have been repeatedly broken but they find a way to do the hardest thing they can possibly do and that is just live. They find a way to be alive and try to do whats best for those around them even if they can’t do what’s best for themselves anymore. For as heartbreaking this movie this is, it finds room for love and laughter.

2. La La Land: Boy oh boy, this one hurt. From the moment you sit down and it starts off with one of the most impressive song and dance number in recent memory you know it’ll hurt. But you don’t care. The world is so pretty, the people are so pretty, The singing is terrific, the music is top notch and the characters are so lived in. Even when they’re focusing on the past you never for one second feel like these aren’t real people going about life in 2016.

1. Moonlight: This, simply put is the most important movie of year. It is beautiful, soft, tender, brash, abrasive, intense, sweet, loving, warm, icy, all at once. It is an absolute delight. There’s so many great stories about people coming of age and dealing with sexuality but for this film to not only find time for but to embrace other very important aspects to a persons life like socioeconomics to drug abuse to family values. If that doesn’t blow you away already its also beautiful to look at, from the cinematography to the amazing performances.

Every Enjolras.  Ever.

What is the problem here?  Victor Hugo was extremely thorough in his physical description of Enjolras.  So why is it apparently so damned difficult to cast this part for movie adaptations, and why do other visual media find it impossible to draw him according to his description?  What the hell am I missing here?  Is there some widespread conspiracy to portray all revolutionaries as dark-haired and/or ugly dudes?

I needed a laugh the other day, so I started compiling a visual collection of every Enjolras I could find.

In chronological order:

^^^1912 French silent movie.  I’m sure he’s in there somewhere.  Just, please God, don’t let him be the one in plaid pants.  (Oh Jesus, I just looked up at the photo again after writing that sentence, and realized THEY ALL HAVE PLAID PANTS ON………=___=;;)

          EDIT:  I have subsequently seen this version, and in fact he is the guy in the plaid pants.  Sigh.  At least he’s the hot one in the plaid pants…

^^^1925 French silent movie.  Whoa there, Marlene Dietrich, ease off that makeup a little!  Enjolras went a little eye shadow crazy, and Lord knows he needs all that ghostly foundation to distract from the fact that he’s about twenty years too old for this role, but strangely enough, still not the worst Enjolras ever.  At least he gets a Le Cabuc scene…

^^^1934 French movie.  Wild hair Enjolras.  It looks respectable here, but it gets progressively crazier and crazier as the barricades go on.  Speaking of crazy, this Enjolras tends to have a bit of the wild eye too–but, you know, he also thinks blowing up his own barricade is actually a good battle strategy, so…  (Also, he smokes like a chimney–is that even canon?  I don’t think it is…)

^^^1937 Soviet movie, Gavrosh (Гаврош).  Not much I can say about this crazy Soviet propaganda film that hasn’t been said already.  This is one of the strangest roles for an Enjolras ever in a Les Mis adaptation, but that seems suitable for one of the strangest Les Mis adaptations ever.  His hobbies (besides barricading) involve graffiti art and hanging with escaped convicts, and his end comes when he is shot dead by Javert at the barricade.  Sadly, he doesn’t live long enough to see his barricade go on to succeed, and the revolution is won without him.  Oh well!  At least he gets to die in Gavroche’s loving arms, though.  ……Wait, what fanfic was I reading again…?

^^^1943 American comic book.  He doesn’t have much of a role to play here.  And I have to say, this is one of the few times I have had too many candidates for the title of Enjolras.  I’m pretty sure this is him, though there’s a guy with a skeezy goatee who also seems to think he’s Enjolras…I’ll just pretend I didn’t see him…

^^^1948 Italian movie, I Miserabili.  He exists, and he seems to be the leader at the barricade, but he’s also extremely hard to screencap, because the little jerk moves with the speed of lightning.  So this is what you get, a blurry Enjolras getting dragged out to die by blurry soldiers.  A GIF might be more appropriate here.  As far as his Enjolras abilities, I have only one thing to say: rolling barrels down the street is not a good barricade defense strategy, Enjolras.

^^^1952 American movie.  There isn’t an official Enjolras in this one, but this guy sure acts like him, so let’s call him Enjolras.  Because this Marius sure as shit doesn’t deserve to be the badass barricade leader here.

^^^1957 French movie.  Meh, he’s okay, but too old, too weird-looking, too not-blond.  Looks kinda like David Rossi from Criminal Minds, but not as cool.  And his personality didn’t leave too much of an impression either, to be honest.  But one has to laugh at the awkwardness of the Friends’ introductory scene in this version, which is about as literal (and ineffective) an interpretation of their character descriptions in the book as one could imagine…

^^^1964 Italian movie (miniseries?), I Miserabili.  This guy’s a beast, he’s a fucking god.  A straight-up amazing Enjolras, even though, like most Enjolrati on this list, he’s definitely too old for the part.  He does have an unfair advantage over most other Enjolrati, though–he got to do a Le Cabuc scene, and he rocked the hell out of the speech after it.  Talk about an Enjolras moment for the ages, where you can see the crazy and the idealism all expressed in the gleam in those staring, trance-like eyes as he hoarsely whispers his way to the end of that speech–he looks like a fucking crazy biblical prophet foreseeing the apocalypse.  Which, I guess, is kinda what Enjolras is after all. 

^^^1966 Soviet animated short, “Gavrosh” (Гаврош).  I’m actually really fascinated by the animation style in this thing: it’s grotesque and nightmarish and scary as all hell, and everyone looks strung out on meth, but there’s something strange and beautiful and Tim Burton-y to the universe they create.  This is Enjolras, though he doesn’t have a huge part to play here (I mean, the whole thing is just over 15 minutes long or something).  

^^^1971 Spanish (Castilian) telenovela, Los Miserables.  Enjolras is pretty cool in this, not gonna lie.  But I might also be a bit biased and prejudiced by that amazing, amazing, amazing coat he chooses to put on his body:  

!!!!!!  So that, I can say for this Enjolras: he has good fashion sense.  There are many who don’t.  I won’t name names.  Musical!Enjolras. 

^^^1972 French miniseries.  Cold as fucking ice, this one.  Total sociopath and dead behind the eyes.  To understate the matter: definitely not a touchy-feely Enjolras.  Also, he looks a little too Corsican to be flinging poo at Corsica and Napoleon…

^^^1978 American TV movie.  Meh, didn’t leave a strong impression on me.  His funniest moment was probably how he died–thought he was being sneaky, he did.

^^^1979 Japanese animated series, “Jean Valjean Monogatari” (ジャン・バルジャン物語).  Doesn’t have much screen time, but what little he has is pretty well spent.  WTF is that chin, though…?  I think when they heard Hugo say “high forehead” they got confused as to which end of the face that was.

^^^1982 French movie.  Bad teeth.  Funny Saint-Just earring.  Likes to bust Courfeyrac’s balls (“you’re an hour late!”), even when Combeferre got to the meeting, like, just two minutes earlier.

^^^1985 Japanese manga.  I know next to nothing about this manga–pretty much just what you see here.  He has a certain retro shoujo look to him…a little Rose of Versailles-meets-Tezuka going on there.  At least he dies properly.  (Though I’m guessing there wasn’t much of a Grantaire in this version, since he gets to die alone…)  “Republique banzai!”

^^^1985-present, British stage musical.   A Tony-winning ass…oops, I mean role, a Tony-winning role.  Those tight pants couldn’t have hurt.  The musical saw Enjolras’ promotion from a secondary or tertiary character in the novel to one of the most memorable characters in the musical, despite never having his name sung in the libretto even once.  Like Eponine (also a Tony-winning role), he receives much more than his fair share of great music and striking moments, not least of which being the original turntable staging of his death scene on the barricade, a piece of stagecraft so creepily beautiful that it drew a round of applause when I saw the show in Japan.

^^^1992 French animated series.  Easily the worst Les Mis adaptation ever made, and I certainly don’t just mean the design of Enjolras.  Makes for amazing drinking games, though.

^^^1998 American movie.  It’s kinda hard to say there’s an actual Enjolras in this movie at all, except in name only.  His entire role in the plot has been assigned to Marius instead, to much confusion.  This guy is left with a totally thankless job.  He’s just there to be the wet-blanket whiny nursemaid to Marius’ oh-so-awesome-impulsive-revolutionary-awesomeness.  He also has the dubious honor of giving voice to one of the absolute stupidest lines to ever pass the lips of an Enjolras: [discussing Marius’ sex life:] “After tomorrow you can make love to her as a free man!”  Ick, I think I need a shower just from typing that…

^^^1998 Japanese fighting game “Arm Joe.”  Do I really even need to say anything here?  I think Arm Joe generally speaks for itself.  See the entry on musical!Enjolras above, since this is basically him.  (Except dropping barricades on people and stuff, like a fucking 1832 Wizard of Oz tornado.) 

^^^2000 European miniseries.  Marius’ BFF slumber party bro.  I have serious doubts about this Enjolras’ maturity and readiness to take on the task of being an Enjolras.  Watching the Friends rallying for the revolution is like watching a frat party spilling out into a street riot on a Saturday night: hyped-up grinning Enjolras on a table, going, “Yeahhhh, let’s go build a barricade, u guyz!!!  Yeahhhh!”  Also, I feel like I’m watching the musical with this “Marius&Enjolras best friends 4 eva” bullshit–I mean, Courfeyrac exists in this version.  Why?  He sure as shit doesn’t have anything to do.

^^^2007 Japanese animated series, Les Misérables: Shoujo Cosette (レ・ミゼラブル 少女コゼット).  This Enjolras made a pretense of being aloof and cool in his first appearance in this anime, but in the end he turned out to be pretty soft and smiley for an Enjolras, and easygoing, and totally understanding when you tell him you’d rather not go to his barricade and get yourself killed.  He’s willing to listen to other people’s opinions, he goes through moments of doubt at the barricade, and he doesn’t even get mad while fending off Combeferre’s awkward advances (yay for workplace sexual harassment…?).

^^^2009 Japanese manga.  This Enjolras is essentially an offshoot of musical!Enjolras, with all the same totally all-consuming problems.  Of course I mean Marius’ love life, not building a doomed barricade.

^^^2010 French bande dessinée.  Forget Corsica, son, what you need is some conditioner–some serious split ends there.  Don’t you just hate it when men with long hair don’t take care of it?  But seriously, this is the best argument I’ve ever seen against Enjolras having a ponytail–he’s so busy with other shit that this is seriously what his hair would look like if it were long.

^^^2012 American-British movie musical.  This musical!Enjolras was saddled with the usual musical!Enjolras distractions: having to supervise Marius’ antics; being undermined in his own meetings by drunks and dumbasses; having to wear ridiculously ridiculous gaudy clothes; having to admit, in the end, that in fact he was “on his own” and “has no friends.”  Beyond the junk that his stage predecessor had to deal with, he also suffered the indignity of having to fall backwards out of a window and try to make it look cool. 

^^^2014 American manga.  This Enjolras is pretty much what you have come to expect from a manga version by now.  Too much ponytail, of course, and him saying that quote in that speech bubble above makes me want to put my fist through my screen.

^^^2014-2015 Japanese manga.  The jury is still out on this one–he’s still a work in progress.  So far, doing an okay job at Enjolrasing (despite sporting a ponytail, ew), but the real test will be if, in the animal scheme of the manga, he is represented by an eagle at the barricades.  I mean, it’s almost too obvious, right?

^^^2015 British picture book.  I love that speech bubble: I care about Les Misérables, Enjolras!  But, um, he looks a bit like an unkempt Dumas, complete with big ol’ cup of wine sloshing around.  Is that a comparison Enjolras would have wanted to draw…?  I honestly doubt it–it’s like Robespierre being asked if he’d like to be drawn like Danton in a picture book version of his adventures.

Okay, so overall, I will give them this: Enjolras seems to be getting blonder as time goes by.  Also, the Japanese win the prize here, because they are absolutely adamant that he is blond.  (Then again, they think all French people are blond, so…Also, they need to cut his ponytail off, but for whatever “Rose of Versailles” influenced reason, it persists in Japanese versions.)

I think I got pretty much every Enjolras who’s ever existed and who is reasonably available for the getting.  If I’ve forgotten any, or if you know of some I can find somewhere else, do let me know, and I’ll add to the master list! 

Also, if you have any questions about any of these versions of Les Mis or about their Enjolrati, ask away, and I will do my best to answer them!

Michael After Midnight: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Let me just say up front: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is easily one of my favorite films ever made. Hell, it’s in my top 25 films of all time, and I have watched this film a ridiculous amount of times since it came out. The humor, the style, the references, the characters, the action, it all just mixes together into a perfect cocktail of enjoyability for me. This film is like a pure visual representation of fun.

The plot’s pretty simple: Scott is your average young Canadian. He has a band, he has a teenage Asian girlfriend, and he has a bunch of self-worth issues. Then he meets Ramona Flowers, and decides she’s the one for him. He begins a relationship with her, not realizing that he’s gonna have to fight her seven evil exes to win her heart. From the moment he begins his courtship of her it’s one wacky boss battle after another, culminating in a climactic finale against Ramona’s seventh and most dangerous evil ex, Gideon Gordon Graves, hipster douchebag extraordinaire.

Keep reading

Your best-friend Luke admits his feelings.
Blurb | (request)

‘What’s wrong?’ you asked when you realized how quiet Luke had been all night. Not that he was usually that loud, but there was something about him tonight, something weird… definitely different. He had barely spoken since you got here and even the movie you’d picked -supposedly this year’s best comedy- wasn’t enough to make him laugh. You knew your best-friend by heart, and something was definitely up with him.
‘Nothing’ he shrugged, never keeping his eyes off the TV where the funniest scene from 22 Jump Street failed to even make him fake a smile. You frowned and stared at him, knowing how much he hated it, hoping to get any reaction from the boy that meant the world to you, the boy who had been by your side for over fifteen years, but when he didn’t even seem to care about your presence, you just got up from his bed and grabbed your jacket.
“Where are you going?” he asked, confused as you turned around with nothing but frustration in your eyes.
“Oh so now you care!” you snapped, stating your obvious annoyance.
“Don’t go” he grabbed your hand and looked up into your eyes, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it yet, but there was something going on in his blue, shiny pupils. He looked like a lost puppy and you could feel your heart shattering slowly, piece by piece, at the thought of your favorite person being upset. Whatever his reasons were.
“Just tell me what’s wrong, Luke… You haven’t spoke to me all night… You know you can tell me everything, right?”
“Not everything…really”
he scratched the back of his head nervously, ruffling his sandy hair between his long fingers. You had never been more confused, things were usually so easy with Luke, you two had shared everything, been through Hell and back and still, he couldn’t tell you about this one single thing bothering him?
“Since when are you keeping secrets? Must be serious!” you crossed your arms on your chest, trying to look threatening and hoping it would be enough to make him spit it out. “Are you dying?” you added, throwing the worst things you could guess from both his attitude and silence.
“What? No!”
“Are you… gay? It’s not a big deal really, no reason to pout like that”
“Oh my god, Y/N… seriously?”
“What? I’m trying to guess what could possibly make you look so bummed and ignore me lik—“

“I can’t do this anymore” he finally blurted out, looking down so he wouldn’t have to see the confused look on your face.
“This? This what? What are you even talking about?”
“All of this, you, us… this friendship”

A punch right into your chest would’ve hurt less. It felt like a million tiny knives stabbing you in the heart and it took you a few seconds to realize what he was implying here. Still, you weren’t sure.
“Wh-what do you mean? What are you saying? You can’t be friend with me anymore?”
“No… it’s just too hard”
he was whispering now, still looking everywhere but into your eyes.
“Too hard? After fifteen fucking years, now it’s too hard? What have I done? Do you hate me or something? You can’t even LOOK at me? Don’t I deserve more than “it’s just too hard” after all these years?” you couldn’t believe he was doing this, after all you’ve been through together, after years and years thinking he was the most important person in your entire world, he couldn’t just throw away your friendship like it was nothing. Or could he?
“I’m sorry, I tried, trust me, I tried so hard… but I just don’t see you as a friend anymore” when he looked up, his heart almost instantly broke as he saw your watering eyes looking down on him with the most confused look on your face. “Please don’t cry…. Fuck, I don’t know how to do this…” he finally got up to stand in front of you, both his arms holding yours so you wouldn’t run away until he was done. Then he took a deep breath and wiped a tear from the corner of your eye.

“I can’t be friend with you Y/N, not because I hate you, not because you’ve done something to me… Actually, if one thing you’ve only made me love you more, every single day. I can’t pretend to be your friend when every time I see your face, it’s like someone’s ripping my heart from my chest. The way I see you… it’s not the way you’re supposed to see a friend. Whenever you smile, or laugh, or put a strand of hair behind your ear, I just want to grab your face and kiss you so bad it actually hurts. It hurts to have you in my life just because I can’t have you the way I want… I love the way you play with the ring on your thumb whenever you’re nervous, I love the way you put your hair in a messy bun in the morning using whatever item you can find, I love the way you cry for the most random things sometimes, I love how you’re not afraid to stand up for what you believe in and actually fight even if you’re just a tiny thing… I love everything about you, and not in a friendly way, I simply, truly, hopelessly love you and I’d rather not have you in my life than spend another second struggling not to kiss those lips”

There was a silence. A couple minutes you both spent staring into each other’s eyes like you had just met for the very first time. It took you a long while to process these words and realize that your best-friend had just confessed his love to you. You couldn’t find the right words, not that there was any right word after such a shocking speech.
“I—I don’t know—“ you stuttered, completely taken aback
“Don’t say anything, really, I’m glad it’s off my chest, but there’s really nothing to say.”
“How long?”
“A while…”
“I never noticed… How can I be so blind?”
“I’ve always been good at keeping secrets, you know that….”
Of course you knew, you immediately thought back of all the secrets you’d told him the past, none of them ever leaving his room. He was the best friend you could’ve ever wished for. When you looked up again, something had changed. It was like seeing him from a brand new light although you thought you had nothing left to learn about him. It actually hurt you to think that all this time, he had kept all of your deepest, darkest confessions but felt like he couldn’t tell you about this one. That’s when you thought back of all the little things he had done for you over the last fifteen years. All the mixtapes he’d made for your birthday, never missing one, how he was there whenever a boyfriend dumped you, how he punched of one them in the face after he cheated on you, how he once had missed an audition for a rock band to be there at your grand-mother funeral, how he had always made you a priority and never once, an option.
“I’m so stupid…” you sighed, slowly realizing that all this time, Luke had been your soulmate.
“No you’re not, you’re anything but stupid…” then something else hit you, something you’d never thought about from this perspective, but now seemed suspicious, given these new circumstances.
“Just tell me one thing” you added “when I set you up with girls, and you always say things like ‘she’s not my type’ or ‘things didn’t work out’ were you—“
“I lied…” he stated, calmly “I was always open for dates, maybe hoping it would get you off my mind, but the truth is… these girls would never be good enough”
Then it was all a bit too much. You only had two options now: you could either walk away or forget you two even were friends, or stay, but this friendship was most definitely over.

Without further thinking, you chose the latest and grabbed his face into your hands so you could kiss him. You had no idea what the future had in store for you two, but you knew it would be bright as long as you had Luke.