this is the funniest scene in the entire movie fight me

anonymous asked:

Ok so I've seen PotC5 and for me the whole movie is appalling. Why do you think Johnny made the character so disgusting? His jokes just made me sad bc JD as a person has a great sense of humor so...??? What does that mean? Why is that all about fucking all the ladies who happened to be around? Why is he always so stupid when he was proven to be really intelligent in the original trilogy? Just... bullshit. And why did Johnny like the film???

Sorry it took so long to answer this, I wanted to watch the film before I responded. 

DOUBLE WARNING: I wasn’t impressed, so if you’re looking for a glowing review please pass by, i’m sorry kids

Basically, I agree with most of this. And to answer your last question: Johnny would have liked this film because this is how Johnny wanted to play Jack.

Guys. I think we’re all trying to ignore that fact and blame his antics in the film on the writer exclusively. But doing that is ignoring that A) Johnny co-wrote the script and B) the MULTIPLE comments we all know Johnny has made, in the past AND on this very press tour, about how he believes Jack has no character arc or depth, and is just there to have fun. The directors ALSO said this.

Here’s the thing: I understand the defence about ‘the character was written that way in this film, he’s supposed to be down and then redeem himself.’ And I’m all for that! I would love to see that! The problem is, I didn’t see that at all. It’s set up perfectly to give Jack a redemption arc. That’s clearly what the script intended. 

But it’s not what Johnny intended. And it’s not what the directors intended.

Lottie put it so much better in her review, here. But what it comes down to is this equation: 

The main actor and the directors believing Jack has no arc nor depth + the script giving Jack an arc and depth = the mess we ended up with.

As Lottie put it: 

I could ultimately see what they were trying to do, and it kind of worked in the first half, but it was so poorly executed because ultimately they created a contradiction for themselves. the directors and Johnny have stated on multiple occasions that Jack is now apparently a character without arc or development, and yet they put him into a narrative where he is supposed to change in some way between the start and end point. I said this before when I remarked last week that it was ironic he had an ‘arc’ in this movie considering those comments: he’s meant to get somewhere, regain his rep, return to a ( mostly ) sober state – but they kept stagnating him in the narrative because he is this weird arc-less character at this point. it just didn’t make any fucking sense. if you’re going to put a static character into a narrative ( as Jack apparently is nowadays ), then you don’t put him in it at a relative low point, changed from the last time we saw him as an audience and apt to change/develop along the course of the narrative as he ‘redeems’ himself. you’re just writing yourself into a brick wall. he should have been FINE the moment the Black Pearl was restored, but they kept returning him to this earlier drunken, idiotic state without reason even after that point and it just made the whole thing really sloppy. you want to paint Jack at his lowest point? well by doing so, you’re giving the audience a stake in seeing Jack redeem himself and return to the character we know and love – and yet there was no obvious sign that had happened, no natural development that saw him slowly but steadily getting his groove back and taking control of his own narrative until the very end, when suddenly he was absolutely fine even though he’d been fighting plot convenient alcoholism for the entire movie. 

And that’s the truth of it. And you can’t blame it entirely on the writer or script (though he DOES have some explaining to do about just ignoring the trilogy completely *cough* compass *cough*). It was Johnny’s choice to play Jack with no obvious redemption arc, as the script set him up to do by showing us at what is obviously meant to be his lowest point.

And it’s not bad acting, it’s just Johnny’s character choice. With many movies you can say ‘don’t blame the actor, blame the script!’ But you and I all know that doesn’t apply to Johnny. Johnny doesn’t blindly follow the script. Johnny wants what he wants and Johnny gets what he wants. He WANTED Jack to be the humorous relief. He WANTED Jack to have no depth or arc - leave that to the other characters. It’s his choice and he chose. I’m not here to tell him he *can’t* choose something for a character he created. I don’t like it, but I’m not here to salivate over everything he does and everything he chooses anyways. 

He’s made lots of choices I don’t like. We all remember Private Resort. 😜

So anyways, clearly I had a problem with the way Jack was portrayed so I think you can guess my feelings about the content of the jokes he cracked. They were lazy and annoying, and I knew already how he described Elizabeth from all the comments I heard, but I still wasn’t prepared for how sick it made me feel, watching him descend to that level. It was disgusting. Johnny said he ‘really upped the stakes with the humour,’ and in my opinion he completely missed the mark and just made him so off-putting. 

AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS WITH ALL THE SEX JOKES???? not even just Jack but like… everyone???? Carina and Henry went on about his hand placement, the horologist thing was funny for about 5 seconds and then became stupid, MARTY JOKED ABOUT FUCKING SCRUM’S MOTHER like honestly i was so put off by seemingly every attempt at humour. The boat undressing scene was somehow even more disgusting in the film than the trailers, and that wedding scene??? fuck off. It added absolutely nothing to the plot, was put in for what I’m assuming was supposed to be comedic effect but wasn’t at all funny (to me), and used the tired old trope of ‘let’s make the leading man have to entertain the presence of this fat chick he refers to as an object so the audience can laugh at how gross she is.’ Johnny’s facial expressions were honestly great in that scene but I couldn’t even appreciate it because I was so repulsed by the whole thing.


  • How protective Jack was of Henry, even if he didn’t show it overtly. Which is one of the only three moments where i recognized Old Jack (overtly sassy and pretends not to care about people but through actions shows he deeply does)
  • Second thing where I glimpsed Old Jack: The smile after the Pearl rose from the water. I saw that grin and I started grinning and Andrea looked over and asked me if I was crying LOL
  • Third thing where I glimpsed Old Jack: When his crew leaves him. That hurt look on his face tore me up.
  • CARINA. Seriously, can anyone claim that Carina did not carry this fucking film. I honestly kept thinking ‘Jack can u shut the fuck up so Carina can talk please.’ Carina was great.
  • Scrum. He fucking kills me, man. When he was trying to save Carina; man I was dying with laughter
  • Gibbs - there was one moment that for some reason was the funniest and purest moment of the whole movie? And I don’t know if anyone else even caught it and maybe it’s just cause I watched P1,2,3 all this weekend - there was a moment where they were on the Dying Gull while it was still on land and they didn’t know if it would even sail, and Jack bellowed some order like ‘prepare to set sail’ or some shit. and usually whenever Jack gives orders, Gibbs will repeat them and expand on them and give more details of what to do like ‘Prepare to cast off!’ ‘Prepare to fire!’ etc.; he’s the first mate obvs! But this time when Jack gave the order, Gibbs just goes, ‘Prepare to drown!’ AND I WAS DYING i was like the only one laughing but it was just so perfectly timed and delivered and sassed????
  • Barbossa - Geoffrey did well with what he was given and though i think the reveal of that whole emotional tie was super rushed and not well explained, I think Geoffrey did really well with what he was given to work with, and had my eyes watering in *that* scene

Anyways that was a novel but i started answering your question and then it turned into a full fucking review apparently - feel free to ask about any parts of the movie you want to know how I felt about, but be warned I’m in a very honest and unforgiving mood right now 😈

instead of ordinary apart|| old man logan

Originally posted by awsquad

I love this scene from DOFP. If you haven’t watched it, please do because it’s actually the funniest thing I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Also, this title goes to Shonda Rhimes & Greys Anatomy.

Part I - Logan won’t tell you what’s really wrong with him, so you set to find out why. 

Part II - You ever wonder why all the cliche romance movies have a scene where the couple argue about the other person in the middle of the night and then end up kissing? Yeah… you’ll learn that first hand. 


This is much shorter then the last one. Enjoy!

@house-of-penguin @itsbrittbrattt @weasleytheking @drewkelliii @avengers-bucky-fanfic @tigers-have-teeth @agirlinherhead

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Every Enjolras.  Ever.

What is the problem here?  Victor Hugo was extremely thorough in his physical description of Enjolras.  So why is it apparently so damned difficult to cast this part for movie adaptations, and why do other visual media find it impossible to draw him according to his description?  What the hell am I missing here?  Is there some widespread conspiracy to portray all revolutionaries as dark-haired and/or ugly dudes?

I needed a laugh the other day, so I started compiling a visual collection of every Enjolras I could find.

In chronological order:

^^^1912 French silent movie.  I’m sure he’s in there somewhere.  Just, please God, don’t let him be the one in plaid pants.  (Oh Jesus, I just looked up at the photo again after writing that sentence, and realized THEY ALL HAVE PLAID PANTS ON………=___=;;)

          EDIT:  I have subsequently seen this version, and in fact he is the guy in the plaid pants.  Sigh.  At least he’s the hot one in the plaid pants…

^^^1925 French silent movie.  Whoa there, Marlene Dietrich, ease off that makeup a little!  Enjolras went a little eye shadow crazy, and Lord knows he needs all that ghostly foundation to distract from the fact that he’s about twenty years too old for this role, but strangely enough, still not the worst Enjolras ever.  At least he gets a Le Cabuc scene…

^^^1934 French movie.  Wild hair Enjolras.  It looks respectable here, but it gets progressively crazier and crazier as the barricades go on.  Speaking of crazy, this Enjolras tends to have a bit of the wild eye too–but, you know, he also thinks blowing up his own barricade is actually a good battle strategy, so…  (Also, he smokes like a chimney–is that even canon?  I don’t think it is…)

^^^1937 Soviet movie, Gavrosh (Гаврош).  Not much I can say about this crazy Soviet propaganda film that hasn’t been said already.  This is one of the strangest roles for an Enjolras ever in a Les Mis adaptation, but that seems suitable for one of the strangest Les Mis adaptations ever.  His hobbies (besides barricading) involve graffiti art and hanging with escaped convicts, and his end comes when he is shot dead by Javert at the barricade.  Sadly, he doesn’t live long enough to see his barricade go on to succeed, and the revolution is won without him.  Oh well!  At least he gets to die in Gavroche’s loving arms, though.  ……Wait, what fanfic was I reading again…?

^^^1943 American comic book.  He doesn’t have much of a role to play here.  And I have to say, this is one of the few times I have had too many candidates for the title of Enjolras.  I’m pretty sure this is him, though there’s a guy with a skeezy goatee who also seems to think he’s Enjolras…I’ll just pretend I didn’t see him…

^^^1948 Italian movie, I Miserabili.  He exists, and he seems to be the leader at the barricade, but he’s also extremely hard to screencap, because the little jerk moves with the speed of lightning.  So this is what you get, a blurry Enjolras getting dragged out to die by blurry soldiers.  A GIF might be more appropriate here.  As far as his Enjolras abilities, I have only one thing to say: rolling barrels down the street is not a good barricade defense strategy, Enjolras.

^^^1952 American movie.  There isn’t an official Enjolras in this one, but this guy sure acts like him, so let’s call him Enjolras.  Because this Marius sure as shit doesn’t deserve to be the badass barricade leader here.

^^^1957 French movie.  Meh, he’s okay, but too old, too weird-looking, too not-blond.  Looks kinda like David Rossi from Criminal Minds, but not as cool.  And his personality didn’t leave too much of an impression either, to be honest.  But one has to laugh at the awkwardness of the Friends’ introductory scene in this version, which is about as literal (and ineffective) an interpretation of their character descriptions in the book as one could imagine…

^^^1964 Italian movie (miniseries?), I Miserabili.  This guy’s a beast, he’s a fucking god.  A straight-up amazing Enjolras, even though, like most Enjolrati on this list, he’s definitely too old for the part.  He does have an unfair advantage over most other Enjolrati, though–he got to do a Le Cabuc scene, and he rocked the hell out of the speech after it.  Talk about an Enjolras moment for the ages, where you can see the crazy and the idealism all expressed in the gleam in those staring, trance-like eyes as he hoarsely whispers his way to the end of that speech–he looks like a fucking crazy biblical prophet foreseeing the apocalypse.  Which, I guess, is kinda what Enjolras is after all. 

^^^1966 Soviet animated short, “Gavrosh” (Гаврош).  I’m actually really fascinated by the animation style in this thing: it’s grotesque and nightmarish and scary as all hell, and everyone looks strung out on meth, but there’s something strange and beautiful and Tim Burton-y to the universe they create.  This is Enjolras, though he doesn’t have a huge part to play here (I mean, the whole thing is just over 15 minutes long or something).  

^^^1971 Spanish (Castilian) telenovela, Los Miserables.  Enjolras is pretty cool in this, not gonna lie.  But I might also be a bit biased and prejudiced by that amazing, amazing, amazing coat he chooses to put on his body:  

!!!!!!  So that, I can say for this Enjolras: he has good fashion sense.  There are many who don’t.  I won’t name names.  Musical!Enjolras. 

^^^1972 French miniseries.  Cold as fucking ice, this one.  Total sociopath and dead behind the eyes.  To understate the matter: definitely not a touchy-feely Enjolras.  Also, he looks a little too Corsican to be flinging poo at Corsica and Napoleon…

^^^1978 American TV movie.  Meh, didn’t leave a strong impression on me.  His funniest moment was probably how he died–thought he was being sneaky, he did.

^^^1979 Japanese animated series, “Jean Valjean Monogatari” (ジャン・バルジャン物語).  Doesn’t have much screen time, but what little he has is pretty well spent.  WTF is that chin, though…?  I think when they heard Hugo say “high forehead” they got confused as to which end of the face that was.

^^^1982 French movie.  Bad teeth.  Funny Saint-Just earring.  Likes to bust Courfeyrac’s balls (“you’re an hour late!”), even when Combeferre got to the meeting, like, just two minutes earlier.

^^^1985 Japanese manga.  I know next to nothing about this manga–pretty much just what you see here.  He has a certain retro shoujo look to him…a little Rose of Versailles-meets-Tezuka going on there.  At least he dies properly.  (Though I’m guessing there wasn’t much of a Grantaire in this version, since he gets to die alone…)  “Republique banzai!”

^^^1985-present, British stage musical.   A Tony-winning ass…oops, I mean role, a Tony-winning role.  Those tight pants couldn’t have hurt.  The musical saw Enjolras’ promotion from a secondary or tertiary character in the novel to one of the most memorable characters in the musical, despite never having his name sung in the libretto even once.  Like Eponine (also a Tony-winning role), he receives much more than his fair share of great music and striking moments, not least of which being the original turntable staging of his death scene on the barricade, a piece of stagecraft so creepily beautiful that it drew a round of applause when I saw the show in Japan.

^^^1992 French animated series.  Easily the worst Les Mis adaptation ever made, and I certainly don’t just mean the design of Enjolras.  Makes for amazing drinking games, though.

^^^1998 American movie.  It’s kinda hard to say there’s an actual Enjolras in this movie at all, except in name only.  His entire role in the plot has been assigned to Marius instead, to much confusion.  This guy is left with a totally thankless job.  He’s just there to be the wet-blanket whiny nursemaid to Marius’ oh-so-awesome-impulsive-revolutionary-awesomeness.  He also has the dubious honor of giving voice to one of the absolute stupidest lines to ever pass the lips of an Enjolras: [discussing Marius’ sex life:] “After tomorrow you can make love to her as a free man!”  Ick, I think I need a shower just from typing that…

^^^1998 Japanese fighting game “Arm Joe.”  Do I really even need to say anything here?  I think Arm Joe generally speaks for itself.  See the entry on musical!Enjolras above, since this is basically him.  (Except dropping barricades on people and stuff, like a fucking 1832 Wizard of Oz tornado.) 

^^^2000 European miniseries.  Marius’ BFF slumber party bro.  I have serious doubts about this Enjolras’ maturity and readiness to take on the task of being an Enjolras.  Watching the Friends rallying for the revolution is like watching a frat party spilling out into a street riot on a Saturday night: hyped-up grinning Enjolras on a table, going, “Yeahhhh, let’s go build a barricade, u guyz!!!  Yeahhhh!”  Also, I feel like I’m watching the musical with this “Marius&Enjolras best friends 4 eva” bullshit–I mean, Courfeyrac exists in this version.  Why?  He sure as shit doesn’t have anything to do.

^^^2007 Japanese animated series, Les Misérables: Shoujo Cosette (レ・ミゼラブル 少女コゼット).  This Enjolras made a pretense of being aloof and cool in his first appearance in this anime, but in the end he turned out to be pretty soft and smiley for an Enjolras, and easygoing, and totally understanding when you tell him you’d rather not go to his barricade and get yourself killed.  He’s willing to listen to other people’s opinions, he goes through moments of doubt at the barricade, and he doesn’t even get mad while fending off Combeferre’s awkward advances (yay for workplace sexual harassment…?).

^^^2009 Japanese manga.  This Enjolras is essentially an offshoot of musical!Enjolras, with all the same totally all-consuming problems.  Of course I mean Marius’ love life, not building a doomed barricade.

^^^2010 French bande dessinée.  Forget Corsica, son, what you need is some conditioner–some serious split ends there.  Don’t you just hate it when men with long hair don’t take care of it?  But seriously, this is the best argument I’ve ever seen against Enjolras having a ponytail–he’s so busy with other shit that this is seriously what his hair would look like if it were long.

^^^2012 American-British movie musical.  This musical!Enjolras was saddled with the usual musical!Enjolras distractions: having to supervise Marius’ antics; being undermined in his own meetings by drunks and dumbasses; having to wear ridiculously ridiculous gaudy clothes; having to admit, in the end, that in fact he was “on his own” and “has no friends.”  Beyond the junk that his stage predecessor had to deal with, he also suffered the indignity of having to fall backwards out of a window and try to make it look cool. 

^^^2014 American manga.  This Enjolras is pretty much what you have come to expect from a manga version by now.  Too much ponytail, of course, and him saying that quote in that speech bubble above makes me want to put my fist through my screen.

^^^2014-2015 Japanese manga.  The jury is still out on this one–he’s still a work in progress.  So far, doing an okay job at Enjolrasing (despite sporting a ponytail, ew), but the real test will be if, in the animal scheme of the manga, he is represented by an eagle at the barricades.  I mean, it’s almost too obvious, right?

^^^2015 British picture book.  I love that speech bubble: I care about Les Misérables, Enjolras!  But, um, he looks a bit like an unkempt Dumas, complete with big ol’ cup of wine sloshing around.  Is that a comparison Enjolras would have wanted to draw…?  I honestly doubt it–it’s like Robespierre being asked if he’d like to be drawn like Danton in a picture book version of his adventures.

Okay, so overall, I will give them this: Enjolras seems to be getting blonder as time goes by.  Also, the Japanese win the prize here, because they are absolutely adamant that he is blond.  (Then again, they think all French people are blond, so…Also, they need to cut his ponytail off, but for whatever “Rose of Versailles” influenced reason, it persists in Japanese versions.)

I think I got pretty much every Enjolras who’s ever existed and who is reasonably available for the getting.  If I’ve forgotten any, or if you know of some I can find somewhere else, do let me know, and I’ll add to the master list! 

Also, if you have any questions about any of these versions of Les Mis or about their Enjolrati, ask away, and I will do my best to answer them!

Another year of storylines… it’s been a great ride, and here’s the best (or worst) of it…

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Mickey is the character that probably grew the most in 2015. i thought it was gonna be it after he came out, but he changed into a caring and loving partner once Ian’s bipolarity came up. Also, have you seen his recent ‘scenes’?
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'The post glee gay’, and yes he was. Spencer was the guy everyone admired and wanted to be. He refused to join Sue, even if he hated the Glee Club at first, and even acknowledged that he wasn’t great at dancing but had other talents…
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Kevin made Will great and actually interesting. Even made Will come out and finally be able to tell someone that he loved him. I trust they’ll bring him back soon.
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Probably the best gay/straight friendship out there, so it was hard to see them go through a rough patch this year when Liam accused Shane of outing people and Shane accused Liam of sleeping with his sister.
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I gotta admit i’m #TeamKevin because Richie is just kinda meh. But goddamn, i fucking love this triangle. It’s so sad they cancelled this, but hey! at least we have a movie to give us closure.
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Not only the hottest, but one of the funniest. i mean…
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WHAS was one of the highlights of this year. And i loved them in the movie so seeing them together again was great! The fight at the end was probably one of the funniest things ever, especially how they explained Bradley Cooper’s abscence.
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Rookie Jake was SO.GODDAMN.SWEET. i can’t with those cheeks. And he was so lovely and naive like a puppy. No wonder Simon kept hitting that! but that leads us to…
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….Simon, probably the worst character this year just because he was so goddamn evil! He cheated on Jake with some Grindr guy. He didn’t give a fuck about Jake’s family problems, got Jake in trouble after his honest mistake, and once they broke up he immediately took some condoms to fuck the next guy. i mean. argghhh….
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Speaking of horrible things, there’s no way to destroy a character like Quantico’s way. Elias was my favorite character and they totally ruined him making him a coward that run from the bombing exercise and latter working for the terrorists to later kill himself. So much potential wasted. At least we got this…

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Did i mention that he fucking KILLS HIMSELF throwing himself out of a window?!!! Ugh…
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After 3 years and two cancellations, James finally lets go and kisses (and sleeps with) Dr. Foxy!!!! Hopefully this means great things for the show on Season 4!!
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A gay couple, two guys, and a trans character get together in an orgy, could it be any hotter? Watch for yourself in case you havent seen it yet (where have you been?!)
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The kiss of death? It was nice for Elias to have this tender moment but what did it mean for Simon? is he gay? straight? just feeling pittyful?
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Maybe not the best. But i was not expecting Spencer to make an appearance with his broken foot. Much less, riding the actual Chandelier!!!
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It was great that he finally came out, it seemed like it was never gonna happen. But after Kevin, all his storylines have been a bit boring and a bit predictable. But his coming out was the best one of the year.
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The way they have actually kept me at the edge of my seat has been incredible but once i actually though Connor was gonna be the one who killed Annalise, i almost died. ALMOST DIEDDDD!!! It’s probably right up there when that one time i almost though Oliver was gonna die because the creepy killer came into his house.
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Totally horrible but quite greatly accomplished. It made me care for a character that i had felt nothing. And his death was so …real and raw. Definitely a stand out!
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Raise your hand if you want more of Freddie gay adventures!!!

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Between amputating the leg of a gay character. Having a barely there gay doc and just bad writing/acting all around. You really need to improve to keep me around.
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I’ve miss my dear Max (and the entire Happy Endings gang) so so so so so so so so so much. There’s been no comedy like theirs (or DRAMAAAAAAAAAAAA for that matter *flamboyantly raises his arms like Derek*).
So that leaves us with the best shows this year…
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See ya in 2016!
Michael After Midnight: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Let me just say up front: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is easily one of my favorite films ever made. Hell, it’s in my top 25 films of all time, and I have watched this film a ridiculous amount of times since it came out. The humor, the style, the references, the characters, the action, it all just mixes together into a perfect cocktail of enjoyability for me. This film is like a pure visual representation of fun.

The plot’s pretty simple: Scott is your average young Canadian. He has a band, he has a teenage Asian girlfriend, and he has a bunch of self-worth issues. Then he meets Ramona Flowers, and decides she’s the one for him. He begins a relationship with her, not realizing that he’s gonna have to fight her seven evil exes to win her heart. From the moment he begins his courtship of her it’s one wacky boss battle after another, culminating in a climactic finale against Ramona’s seventh and most dangerous evil ex, Gideon Gordon Graves, hipster douchebag extraordinaire.

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Your best-friend Luke admits his feelings.
Blurb | (request)

‘What’s wrong?’ you asked when you realized how quiet Luke had been all night. Not that he was usually that loud, but there was something about him tonight, something weird… definitely different. He had barely spoken since you got here and even the movie you’d picked -supposedly this year’s best comedy- wasn’t enough to make him laugh. You knew your best-friend by heart, and something was definitely up with him.
‘Nothing’ he shrugged, never keeping his eyes off the TV where the funniest scene from 22 Jump Street failed to even make him fake a smile. You frowned and stared at him, knowing how much he hated it, hoping to get any reaction from the boy that meant the world to you, the boy who had been by your side for over fifteen years, but when he didn’t even seem to care about your presence, you just got up from his bed and grabbed your jacket.
“Where are you going?” he asked, confused as you turned around with nothing but frustration in your eyes.
“Oh so now you care!” you snapped, stating your obvious annoyance.
“Don’t go” he grabbed your hand and looked up into your eyes, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it yet, but there was something going on in his blue, shiny pupils. He looked like a lost puppy and you could feel your heart shattering slowly, piece by piece, at the thought of your favorite person being upset. Whatever his reasons were.
“Just tell me what’s wrong, Luke… You haven’t spoke to me all night… You know you can tell me everything, right?”
“Not everything…really”
he scratched the back of his head nervously, ruffling his sandy hair between his long fingers. You had never been more confused, things were usually so easy with Luke, you two had shared everything, been through Hell and back and still, he couldn’t tell you about this one single thing bothering him?
“Since when are you keeping secrets? Must be serious!” you crossed your arms on your chest, trying to look threatening and hoping it would be enough to make him spit it out. “Are you dying?” you added, throwing the worst things you could guess from both his attitude and silence.
“What? No!”
“Are you… gay? It’s not a big deal really, no reason to pout like that”
“Oh my god, Y/N… seriously?”
“What? I’m trying to guess what could possibly make you look so bummed and ignore me lik—“

“I can’t do this anymore” he finally blurted out, looking down so he wouldn’t have to see the confused look on your face.
“This? This what? What are you even talking about?”
“All of this, you, us… this friendship”

A punch right into your chest would’ve hurt less. It felt like a million tiny knives stabbing you in the heart and it took you a few seconds to realize what he was implying here. Still, you weren’t sure.
“Wh-what do you mean? What are you saying? You can’t be friend with me anymore?”
“No… it’s just too hard”
he was whispering now, still looking everywhere but into your eyes.
“Too hard? After fifteen fucking years, now it’s too hard? What have I done? Do you hate me or something? You can’t even LOOK at me? Don’t I deserve more than “it’s just too hard” after all these years?” you couldn’t believe he was doing this, after all you’ve been through together, after years and years thinking he was the most important person in your entire world, he couldn’t just throw away your friendship like it was nothing. Or could he?
“I’m sorry, I tried, trust me, I tried so hard… but I just don’t see you as a friend anymore” when he looked up, his heart almost instantly broke as he saw your watering eyes looking down on him with the most confused look on your face. “Please don’t cry…. Fuck, I don’t know how to do this…” he finally got up to stand in front of you, both his arms holding yours so you wouldn’t run away until he was done. Then he took a deep breath and wiped a tear from the corner of your eye.

“I can’t be friend with you Y/N, not because I hate you, not because you’ve done something to me… Actually, if one thing you’ve only made me love you more, every single day. I can’t pretend to be your friend when every time I see your face, it’s like someone’s ripping my heart from my chest. The way I see you… it’s not the way you’re supposed to see a friend. Whenever you smile, or laugh, or put a strand of hair behind your ear, I just want to grab your face and kiss you so bad it actually hurts. It hurts to have you in my life just because I can’t have you the way I want… I love the way you play with the ring on your thumb whenever you’re nervous, I love the way you put your hair in a messy bun in the morning using whatever item you can find, I love the way you cry for the most random things sometimes, I love how you’re not afraid to stand up for what you believe in and actually fight even if you’re just a tiny thing… I love everything about you, and not in a friendly way, I simply, truly, hopelessly love you and I’d rather not have you in my life than spend another second struggling not to kiss those lips”

There was a silence. A couple minutes you both spent staring into each other’s eyes like you had just met for the very first time. It took you a long while to process these words and realize that your best-friend had just confessed his love to you. You couldn’t find the right words, not that there was any right word after such a shocking speech.
“I—I don’t know—“ you stuttered, completely taken aback
“Don’t say anything, really, I’m glad it’s off my chest, but there’s really nothing to say.”
“How long?”
“A while…”
“I never noticed… How can I be so blind?”
“I’ve always been good at keeping secrets, you know that….”
Of course you knew, you immediately thought back of all the secrets you’d told him the past, none of them ever leaving his room. He was the best friend you could’ve ever wished for. When you looked up again, something had changed. It was like seeing him from a brand new light although you thought you had nothing left to learn about him. It actually hurt you to think that all this time, he had kept all of your deepest, darkest confessions but felt like he couldn’t tell you about this one. That’s when you thought back of all the little things he had done for you over the last fifteen years. All the mixtapes he’d made for your birthday, never missing one, how he was there whenever a boyfriend dumped you, how he punched of one them in the face after he cheated on you, how he once had missed an audition for a rock band to be there at your grand-mother funeral, how he had always made you a priority and never once, an option.
“I’m so stupid…” you sighed, slowly realizing that all this time, Luke had been your soulmate.
“No you’re not, you’re anything but stupid…” then something else hit you, something you’d never thought about from this perspective, but now seemed suspicious, given these new circumstances.
“Just tell me one thing” you added “when I set you up with girls, and you always say things like ‘she’s not my type’ or ‘things didn’t work out’ were you—“
“I lied…” he stated, calmly “I was always open for dates, maybe hoping it would get you off my mind, but the truth is… these girls would never be good enough”
Then it was all a bit too much. You only had two options now: you could either walk away or forget you two even were friends, or stay, but this friendship was most definitely over.

Without further thinking, you chose the latest and grabbed his face into your hands so you could kiss him. You had no idea what the future had in store for you two, but you knew it would be bright as long as you had Luke.