this is the funniest I can get

oh worm?

where do I even start.

he beats women you fucking morons get ur head out ur ass! I can’t believe bajangoddess can have a rihanna icon and wish death on my mother because I hate Chris Brown at the same time lmao. the fact that biboygotitall pulled my url into this and used it to assume I’ve faced discrimination is the funniest fucking thing fr. bitch I’m beautiful because I’m a mean bitch that hates abusers. hating abusers makes me a good human…like wyd

anyways I hate Chris Brown

i honestly have no idea why the walking dead is telltale’s most popular game when sam and max is probably the funniest shit ever

this is just one of the random conversations you can get if you click on shit

anonymous asked:

i will never get over how obvious even's annoyance/jealousy of emma is in retrospect

hands down the FUNNIEST thing to me, the funniest thing of the whole season is watching even’s face the few times he interacts with her. I feel like, on first glance, he maintains his cool politeness well enough that you can breeze over… his utter disdain for everything she stands for or says around him.

but when you look, it’s sO OBVIOUS

h e l p

the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

Keep reading

French TV shows rec list:

Fais pas ci fais pas ça:

Comedy about two very different families living right next to each other: The Lepics and the Bouleys. There are nine seasons so we can see the characters evolve on a really long time period. Some serious issues are tackled with humour, like education, how to cope with the death of a loved one, or how parents react to one of their children coming out as gay, for instance. Most of the characters are really lovable and you easily get attached to them even though they can be annoying sometimes. Also, there are some really funny moments. I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favourite shows ever but I had a nice time watching it (though, I haven’t watched all the seasons yet).

Trigger warning: none that I can think of (this show is suitable for children).

Level of difficulty when it comes to French: I think it should be fine (there’s nothing really technical, the show’s about everyday life, so it mainly uses colloquial/casual French).

Les Bleus premiers pas dans la police:

A four-season show about rookies in the French police. I used to really love this show when I was in middle school, and I have very fond memories of it now, even if I haven’t watched it for a long time. This show has diversity and representation: a Muslim man (who is one of the main characters) and his family, gay men (one of them is also a main character), a bisexual woman (also a main character in the first seasons), and so on. It also portrays strong female characters (including a woman in a position of power, from season 2 to the end I think). The characters are very lovable (in my opinion), and funny. By the way, this show has very funny moments as well as serious moments (including the scenes showing how the LGBT characters and the women deal with discrimination at their workplace or elsewhere). The only problem with this show is that the end is a bit unsatisfying considering it stopped because it failed to get renewed (or at least that’s what I understood at the time).   

Trigger warning: depiction of discrimination (for instance, homophobia), and of course the usual warnings when it comes to cop shows (even though it is far less graphic than most other shows of this kind, and there are less murder investigations than in most investigation shows).

Level of difficulty when it comes to French: I think this one is okay too. There might be some terms describing police stuff, but all in all it’s pretty casual.

Le Bureau des Légendes (ongoing show):

A show about the DGSE (Direction Générale de la Sécurité Extérieure), which is basically the French intelligence agency concerning foreign matters. It has three seasons so far and it’s one of my favourite TV show ever. It’s captivating, I got really attached to many of the characters (and most of them are not completely good or bad, there are a lot of grey characters, which is great), and it’s also really moving (especially the last season I think). One of my favourite thing about this show is its subtlety: it’s deeply moving, but in a subtle and somewhat low-key way. There are close to no typical tear-jerking scenes, with sad music and close-ups on the crying faces of devastated characters. There are really sad scenes, but they are played out with a great sobriety.

Trigger warning: psychological and physical torture (nothing too graphic though).

Level of difficulty when it comes to French: it should be mainly okay, I think. There are probably some technical terms, since it’s about an intelligence agency, but it should be understandable as a whole. Also, many scenes are in other languages (English, Farsi, Arabic, etc) and are subtitled in French, which is really good in order to practise your written French ;)

Les Revenants (ongoing show):

A show about dead people coming back to life in a village of the Pyrénées. It only has two seasons so far, but I’m really looking forward to more. The show is really mysterious, with a gloomy atmosphere that I absolutely love. The dead people (who are from different generations and died at different times) come back to their family/loved ones (when they have some), and no one understands what happened, including the dead people. After their arrival, other very strange events take place in the village. Some characters have very dubious motives and you’re often unsettled, not knowing what to think of them. However, you can’t help but to get attached to some of them anyway. This show has some very serious themes like how to cope with the death of a loved one, death in general, love, family (by blood or by choice).

Trigger warnings: death, suicide.

Level of difficulty concerning French: I think it’s pretty okay… The show aired on American TV so you can probably find a subtitled version quite easily, which is pretty cool :D

Kaamelott:

My favourite French tv show (and even my favourite show ever). This show depicts the Arthurian legend in a humorous way, and it’s one of the funniest thing I’ve ever watched. The humour is unique, the characters are really lovable, and the entire show is extremely creative: this is honestly pure genius. Plus, the atmosphere evolves from something exclusively light and funny to something that is serious and deeply moving at times. The show goes from episodes that last a few minutes to far longer episodes in the 6th (and last) book (=season). I could go on and on about this show, but nothing I could say would make it justice. Honestly, just give it a go, this is brilliant.

PS: Alexandre Astier (who plays Arhtur, wrote the scenario, the music and basically came up with this entire masterpiece) is a national hero. That’s all I had to say.

Trigger warning: it’s really funny and you’re having the time of your life, and suddenly there is a serious/sad scene and you feel like crying (but it’s worth it)… just be prepared ^^

Level of difficulty concerning French: it might be pretty hard at first, because they speak quite quickly and use weird expressions (but then, use these expressions in front of Kaamelott fans [ie a looooot of people] and see their faces lit up => it could be really rewarding I think).

Apart from these, all the creations canal + (Braquo, Engrenages, Cercle polaire…) have a good reputation/positive reviews I think, but I’ve only watched Les Revenants and Le Bureau des Légendes for now, so I only talked about those ^^

I think many people like 10 pour cent and Hero Corp too, but I haven’t watched them (yet) so I couldn’t include them in the list.

2

sixofcrowsnw challenge (take two) week 2: funniest moments

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”

Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”

“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

tfc characters as things my roommate has done/said
  • dan: listen - i'm trying to be encouraging and kick ass here but halfway through my speech i realized that i also have important and kick ass things to do so i have to leave but i love you and support you
  • matt: -comes into my room with four things of doughnuts and places them on the desk and kisses me on the top of my head- when you want to cry just eat a doughnut and come get a hug from me
  • allison: i bought four loofahs so i can use four different types of body wash with them
  • renee: sometimes i lay in my bed and think 'i'm soft but deadly' y'know?
  • kevin: no YOU LISTEN - stop it LISTEN - cmon i'm trying to talk. i can talk? ok what i was trying to say is you annoy me
  • nicky: -literally comes busting through the door unannounced- I JUST ATE THREE HOT POCKETS IN A ROW AND I'M FAILING TWO CLASSES BUT GUESS WHO'S SMASHING TONIGHT??
  • aaron: by the way i'm putting an alarm system on my door so when you try to come in without knocking you get kicked in the nuts -says this right after coming into my room... without knocking-
  • andrew: -purposefully leaves the shower curtain open even after being reminded several times to keep it closed and also uses up all of the body wash in spite-
  • neil: honestly, i'm kinda hurting really bad. where? oh, everywhere but i'm ok i think, i just can't really move that much so do you think you can drag me to my bed

I’ve decided that my favourite thing from chapter 94 is Reiner’s petty complaint about Connie lmao. And now I can’t get the following scenario out of my head:

Reiner’s in the barracks bathroom, trying to pee, when Connie bursts in.

Connie: Wait a minute… Why did I come to the bathroom again?

Reiner:

  • what he says: i'm fine
  • what he means: you know not everything has to be a joke. sometimes you can just be honest about your feelings, and that's how i see myself, you know? i may not be the most threatening silhouette, but i like to think of myself as somebody who can stand up for-- you know it doesn't always have to be "goof goof dildo machines" over here, okay? i'm traveling around with the Boner Squad and i never get to just say... what i'm feeling, i have emotions! it's not all abra-ca-fuckyou and what have you!! i have a beating heart!!! i'm multi-dimensional! i'm a fully-realized creation... fUCK!!!!!
Try Harder To Be Discreet. (Barry Allen/The Flash Imagine)

Request: Can I please request a Barry Allen x Reader where she is Harrison Wells’ daughter and Barry and the reader have been married for a while now and they want to tell the team that they are expecting a baby. Thanks! 

I don’t know if you meant Eobard!Wells, or Harry Wells, or H.R. Wells. So I decided to go with Eo!Wells who isn’t evil in this. I hope you don’t mind!

I know… I’ve been inactive! I really am trying!

I know this is late! I’m sorry!

Requests are open! (Just bear with me)

I hope you enjoy!

Originally posted by gustin-daily

You looked down at the small tattoo of a lightning bolt on your ring finger for comfort as you threw up in the S.T.A.R. Labs restroom. It was Barry’s idea, seeing as a wedding band would’ve raised suspicions. It’s been nearly two years since you and Barry started dating. And it’s been about six months since you two were secretly got married. Your relationship was something unplanned, but neither of you had any doubts. 

The only problem with the marriage and relationship was that your father, the great Harrison Wells, has yet to be informed about it. Every chance you got to tell him, there was always something that ruined the moment. You knew the more you kept it a secret, the more strained your relationship with your father would be. The mere thought of losing your father made you want to hurl, but that wasn’t the reason as to why you were having morning sickness.

After a few minutes, you got up and composed yourself, fixing your hair in a bun and wiping away your smudged makeup. You quickly left the restroom and went back to your desk, pretending as if nothing happened. 

“Caitlin, please check on (Y/N).” Your father said as he monitored the computers, watching Barry’s every movement.

“But Barry’s on a mission-” Caitlin began, but your father shook his head.

“Armed robbery… Barry’s got this.” Caitlin gave you a soft smile before helping you up.

Caitlin knew exactly was wrong with you, but she didn’t want to pry. You wish you invited her to be a witness to your wedding, but since the decision was so spontaneous, Joe and Iris took on the roles. 

“Every thing seems to be in order. You don’t have a fever…” Caitlin trailed off as she cleaned off her thermometer. “Did you have anything bad last night?” She asked. 

You shook your head as you thought about last night. Barry spent the night trying to make you comfortable and catered to your every need. He even raced to Star City to get Big Belly Burger, the one that always put in extra fries. But you definitely didn’t eat anything that didn’t sit well with you. If anything, it sat quite nicely. 

“She seems fine.” Caitlin called out to your father as Barry sped right in. His eyes widened as he took note of you sitting on the hospital bed.

“You okay?” He asked, worry in his eyes. What he really wanted to ask was: is the baby okay?

You nodded. “Just threw up because of something. No biggie.” 

“Yes biggie. You could have an ulcer, or some gallbladder diseases, or a brain tumor, (Y/N)!” Cisco yelled out. You raised your eyebrows at him. 

And Caitlin gave him a strange look. “Did you look up vomiting causes on WebMD?” She asked. Cisco gave her a sneaky grin and she rolled her eyes. “I promise, you have none of that. Don’t worry… I’m talking to you, Dr. Wells.” You all chuckled as your father’s panic was easily seen on his face.

“I mean she could be pregnant.” Your father stated. Everyone just froze on the spot. You and Barry both looked at him quizzically. None of you were sure if he was joking or not, but the thought of your father finding out this way shook you to your core. “What?”

“W-why do you say that?” You asked, your voice shaking but you attempted to keep it straight. 

“People take pictures, (Y/N). Videos, even.” Your father began. “And the funniest thing occurred to me when I saw these videos and photos on the internet… I thought hmm.. why is Barry always running around near (Y/N)’s apartment? You can put together a puzzle like that as quickly as a speedster, can’t you? You randomly getting a lightning tattooed on your ring finger. Barry always worrying about you. You always worrying about Barry. Not to mention we have cameras.” 

You and Barry knew the cat was out the bag, but neither of you dared to glance at each other. You both kept your eyes trained on your father. “So how long have you two been together?” Your dad asked.

“Two and a half years.” Barry asked, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Anything else I might want to know?” 

You slowly tip toed over to your husband as you interlaced your fingers. “Um… Six months ago we eloped.” You saw your father’s jaw clench but it slowly released. “And I’m three and a half weeks pregnant.” You and Barry flinched awaiting your father’s wrath, but none came. 

“That part I put together on my own seeing as you’re almost always tired, hungry, and if you aren’t at a calmed state, your enraged. Much like your mother.” You smiled, remembering the memories you had of her, a few tears escaped your eyes and Barry rubbing your back soothingly. “I’m mad that I didn’t get to walk my baby girl down the aisle, but we can always redo that part. Barry take care of my girl. And… for the love of God, Try Harder To Be Discreet.

You walked over to hug your father, crying quietly into his arms. But then Cisco cleared his throat. “We’re definitely redoing that wedding. Barry, what were you thinking? I wasn’t your best man, dude!” 

4

I don’t think you can get more petty spiteful than Waluigi Island from Mario Party 3 and i fucking love it

the basic implication is this island belonged to luigi(i think there’s parts of Luigi’s engine room from MP1 here but im not sure) but waluigi at some point, took it over, and just wrote

WALUIGI

every where and it’s the funniest fucking thing to me

anonymous asked:

can u get out of the mcelroy fandom pls now lol

Nah cause I’ve found the McElroys to be some of the nicest funniest and some of the most inclusive content creators I’ve come across. They’re so genuine and kind, and their humour doesn’t come at the expense of others which is always really nice to see. They make an effort to make their characters relatable to their audience, and their other content like mbmbam and the polygon YouTube channel is such a fun delight and brightens my day.

Tbh the kinda malicious passive aggressive asks you’ve sent me reminds me of just why I avoid saying I’m “in fandoms” in general lmao
I prefer to just call myself a fan since so many fandoms seem to reach levels of toxicity on this site (especially in regards to extreme white knighting like SU fans running people off of twitter or Voltron fans threatening the creators) which is a shame to see

Still, despite people like you I must say the fans of the McElroys in general seem like funny and kind people and I appreciate both the great content I’ve seen made by these fans as well as the lovely messages I’ve received!
I don’t know what compels you to go on anon and harass others, anon, but hey have a nice day anyways

The Swap [Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader]

[write-a-thon tag]

Summary: when the unimaginable happens and you see yourself trapped inside your best friend’s body, magic doesn’t seem like child’s play anymore. (Teen!Lin)

Word Count: 4,719

Warnings: A lot of cursing and a lot of dick jokes, lol

A/N: WRITE-A-THON DAY #1 Y’ALL!!!! (and no, you’re not lost, I decided to post this earlier because I’ve been getting a crazy amount of love today and to me this is the best way I can think of to repay you guys) This might be the funniest piece I’ve written in my life. It was so fun to picture the whole situation and to brainstorn with @down4usnavy because she’s THE BEST and thanks to my hamwriters girls for proofreading this mess and @tempfixeliza for reading this also and giving me that ol’ confidence boost. Hope you like it!

Tagging: @aham-threw-his-shot-away - @oooimaghost - @hartbg - @a-dott-ham - @ruth-hamilton-delrio - @mofoing-democraftic-republican - @backitup-humperdinck - @always-blame-jefferson - @picklessfights

askbox | masterlist


You didn’t believe in magic. At least not anytime after you turned nine years old. But then… You woke up that morning.

You started by noticing you weren’t in your bedroom, was it… Lin’s bedroom? Movie posters, comic books and many, many cassettes, yeah, that was definitely Lin’s bedroom. But you didn’t sleep with him last night, you remembered clearly the moment he dropped you home like he always did and went back to his place.

As your hand moved to your face trying to wake yourself up when you felt… Was that facial hair? Since when did you have a stubble? All the drowsiness that you could possibly have just vanished when you got up from the small bed and ran to the the mirror. You couldn’t blame the dim light coming through the curtains for that.

You were Lin-Manuel.

Worse, you were yourself trapped in Lin-Manuel’s body.

Keep reading

Zodiac Signs (Based Of The People I Know)

Aries♈️: Extremely open minded people, always fun when their around. Always wants to have a good time, Very trustworthy. Hates being disrespected will fight you if treat them badly. Cute and lovely.

Taurus♉️: THEY CAN NEVER LOSE AN ARGUMENT JEEEZZZ!!!! humorous but also unnecessary stubborn. They can also be insulting but deeply care about they people they love. They fear about being forgotten

Gemini♊️: They make great friends but also little problematic to deal with sometimes. Really fun to be around with also extremely chatty. They can be rude but they don’t know it.

Cancer♋️: Very shy and quiet when you first meet them but once you get to know them they’re the funniest people on earth. Sensitive, Biggest hearts, kinda lazy. They pretend not to care but deeply do (a bit too much)

Leo♌️: hot heads, always has to be right!!! AND I MEAN LIKE ALWAYS!! They love to party. Always dressed well take pride in the way they look. Self centered. Will fight you so don’t fuck with them. So much fun to be around life of the party.

Virgo♍️: Give great advice but suck at taking their own advice. Stubborn but yet reasonable. CREATIVE/ ARTISTIC AF!!! love cats, really caring and cute. They laugh about everything but get upset really fast.

Libra♎️: Shy, loves getting compliments. Often annoyed really quick, sensitive takes things to heart. Interested in the weirdest things. they love animals and baking. Secretly really artistic and creative it’s amazing.

Scorpio♏️: Insulting, can be negative and emotionally exhausting. Either they’re really fun or hella boring. Control freaks!!!! likes being social and always with a large group of people.

Sagittarius♐️: Obsesses over something they live by their aesthetics’s which is boring. wants everyone to like them, they can be fake. Smart but yet also weird.

Capricorn♑️: They hate they idea of having fun. Acts way mature for their age. Goal driven, hardworking gets good grades in school. They love their family makes a good sibling almost like a role model. Takes care of themselves really well.

Aquarius♒️: God complex. They think they’re better then everyone never accepts the fact that their wrong. Confusing most of the time. Uptight can be boring but sometimes they just go wild.

Pisces♓️: They love going out with their friends, loves food like a lot. Always try to avoid confrontation and conflict. Really chill people easy to be friends with. Can talk to them about everything and anything.

concept: otabek and yuri are dating and one day otabek admits to him that he’s polyamorous and yuris cool with it bc as long as bekas happy, he’s happy

“so who else do you like besides me??”
“dont get mad.”
“ok????????”
“.,,, its jj.”
“W̱̝̳H̡̻͙̺̝͗A̯͕͛T̩͓̹͚̻̏̃ͭ”

OF ALL THE PEOPLE BEKA WOULD BE INTERESTED IN ITS JJ WHAT THE FUCK

but he cant say anything bc again, as long as bekas happy then he’s happy, but,,,, what the fuck

so otabek and jj start dating, and the first time all three of them meet jjs like “hope u dont mind sharing your otabeef, princess 👉😎👉” and yuri is ready to kill him but otabek is smiling and hes weak for that so he holds back

but the more the three of them hang out together… the more tolerable jj becomes??? he isnt nearly as obnoxious as he is when theyre in competition and hes actually pretty funny and just as in love with otabek as he is (he knows bc of the way jj looks at him - it feels like looking into a mirror, because thats exactly how he stares at otabek himself)

and jj is actively trying to become better friends with him - he doesnt stop the teasing, but he starts knowing when to back down when he gets too much and yuri can feel the intense hatred he once felt for him die down into a begrudging respect

plus its really fun to talk to him about how adorable otabek is, so, really

a few months later and he can reluctantly say that jj’s become one of his closest friends, but tell anyone that and he’ll kick you with his knife shoes

(ps isabella and jj are still engaged/married and whenever otabek gets Tired of jjs shit she’s the person he’ll call

yuri enjoys watching them rant he thinks its the funniest shit ever)

My store uses coupons, and sometimes it makes a fuckton of them avaliable online. Not everyone uses them, but if the line’s slow and I see that someone’s paying full price when they don’t need to, I’ll usually help them out by telling them they can load coupons on their smartphone while i scan their items.

So, this lady comes through my line and immediately starts complaining that she doesn’t have more discounts on her purchase (which was about $11 total btw). I tell her is against our policy to keep physical copies of coupons at the register, but there may be other ways she could get some.

Going by my usual script, I ask her if she has a smartphone, and this is my big mistake. She sneered viciously, as if I’d asked if she’d like to stop at the puppy-kicking booth on her way out of the store. “I don’t have a smartphone!,” she spat. “Neither does anybody in my family. I don’t want Obama listening in on me, finding out what I eat and drink and shit!”

Mind you, this was approximately a week ago, in April, nearly three months since Obama’s been retired. Seeing her get agitated about it, i forced a smile and a “sorry, nevermind”. She continued ranting until i finished ringing her up.

The funniest part was that she was clearly directing some of that paranoia and defiance towards me, and I’m quite sure she thought I was part of Obama’s secret team of spies, disguised as minimum wage employees, tempting unsuspecting citizens into getting bugged smartphones with the promise of sweet 20% off coupons… how else can we discover the no doubt fascinating and important secrets of this woman’s thrilling life… sorry Barack, she’s too smart for us… anyway…

Finally i told her her total. She stuck her card in and followed the prompts until it asked her to sign for her purchase and she started yelling at me. “OH NO. That is NOT how my card works! I don’t have to sign for a purchase under $25!” I explained that actually, that’s how our card readers work now. The old slide cards don’t need a signature under $25, but the new chip cards need either a PIN or a signature for any amount. “Well maybe that’s some fancy [store name] rule, but I know MY card doesn’t work like that! I just used it another place and it didn’t make me sign!” Again, I explained that that’s how our credit card machines work and that sometimes other companies may have different machines, but there’s no way of getting around how they work. She was yelling and i expected to need to involve a manager, but then suddenly she signed it while still yelling about how she refused to sign it. Overall, a strange and angry interaction.

i can’t believe the media is truly out here like “notorious bad boy HARRY STYLES captured here holding a phone while driving. in the past he’s committed other SCANDALOUS atrocities such as parking in no parking zones and double parking. will his streak of naughty behavior never end? how much longer can he abuse the law like this? he can’t keep getting away with it!!!!!!” like that is the funniest shit in the world to me? they’re really Trying That

Got7 Reaction #14 - Their s/o wraps themselves in a blanket burrito

anon said: got7 reaction to finding their s/o in a blanket burrito ( XD cuz its winter~ )


Mark: “You wanna come out of that burrito and snuggle your adorable boyfriend for warmth instead? Or should I just join you in the burrito?”

Originally posted by daefsoul

Jackson: *Pouting because you’re being cute without him* “I’m right here, why don’t you cuddle me instead of cuddling by yourself in all those blankets?

Originally posted by jypnior

Jaebum: *when you refuse to come out of the blanket burrito to eat a healthy meal* “Fine but you’re going to have to pee eventually Y/n, and when you do I’m stealing all the blankets and hiding them until you eat a proper meal”

Originally posted by daefsoul

Jinyoung: *alseep in his own burrito right next to you, your heads resting right by each other and both of you have one of your hands out from the blankets so you two can hold hands while you sleep*

Originally posted by got7ish

Youngjae: *thinking to himself* They’re so cute… How can one person be so cute? I really need to try and be quiet so they can take their nap in peace. They look adorable and so content… Must be quiet… *bumps into kitchen cabinet and 20 metal pans come falling out noisily as possible*

Well so much for being quiet.

Originally posted by pinkhoodiemark


Kunpimook: *probably thinking of 100 different ways to prank you while you sleep or how to wake you up the funniest way…You will never get peace while dating this boy. Never.*

Originally posted by j-miki

Yugyeom: (please ignore the subtitles) “I will snuggle you one way or another Y/n. If you’re wrapped in fuzzy blankets then that’s just a plus. Scoot over and let me love you” *squishy sunshine wants love and attention*

Originally posted by jypnior


A/N: IT WAS FREAKING ALMOST 70 DEGREES (Fahrenheit, so about 21 degrees Celsius) WHERE I LIVE BUT NOW IT’S BACK DOWN TO 20 DEGREES (-6 in Celsius) AND IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT AND I JUST WANT THE WARMTH BACK *buries self in blanket burrito until summer awakens again*

fake!married yousana (because I’m a sucker for that trope and needed that with Yousef and Sana)- set sometime in the relatively near future

and I got a little carried away so there’s that

—————————————————————————————————-

S.O.S. Come ASAP” and an address added to the message.

That is what Elias has sent both Yousef and Sana. Both of them immediately left to go to the given address. Sana was about to leave the Uni when the text arrived her and Yousef was chilling at home; it was his free day after all. Neither of them is aware that they took the same train to get to Elias until they leave the train at the same station.

“Sana?”, Yousef shouts after her because she is walking a few meters in front of him. She quickly turns around and as soon as she sees Yousef her frown turns into a small smile. Yousef jogs up to her and asks if she’s also going to see Elias. She just nods and they start walking side by side. For a while they walk in silence until Sana gathers the strength to ask Yousef something that wouldn’t let her go the whole way there.

“Do you think he’s in trouble?” Yousef quickly looks at Sana and his gaze falls on the worry line between her eyebrows. As always when he sees it, he wants to reach out and straighten that worry line out. But he knows now is not the time.

To lighten the mood he shakes his head as if he was a hundred percent sure and answers: “No, he probably just got stuck in a revolving door and can’t get out.” This makes Sana laugh out loud and she rolls her eyes but keeps looking at Yousef while they walk in a pretty fast pace.

“You do know that he actually got stuck in a revolving door when we were younger, right?”, she asks him obviously very amused recalling the memory and forgetting that Elias may as well be in actual trouble now. But that’s not something either Sana or Yousef want to believe until they arrive and meet Elias.

Yousef nods and laughs when imagining a small Elias get stuck in a revolving door: “Yeah, you told me once and it’s still the funniest thing I can imagine.”

They turn around a corner and both sets of eyes fall on Elias. He’s standing outside of a house, leaning on the wall and is preoccupied with his phone. He doesn’t look stressed or in trouble at all. While Sana is relieved, she’s also wondering why the hell her brother would send her a text like that when everything is fine.

“Elias?”, she says. Yousef and her are still a few meters away but Elias hears his sister and looks up from his phone to grin at her. Sana narrows her eyes at him. She feels like she worried too much and there is nothing wrong at all. Yousef next to her just looks at his best friend and waits for him to say something.

Elias puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans and smiles at his sister and best friend. “Good, you’re here and you came together, perfect.”

“We met on the train.”, Sana says unfazed and keeps looking at her brother, obviously waiting for an explanation. “What is the emergency? We rushed here as fast as possible.”

Elias looks at the two people standing in front of him and grins guiltily. Yousef and Sana look at each other, thinking the same thing. Should we just turn around and go? Elias doesn’t know what they are thinking exactly but he can imagine. It’s the worst when the two of them team up against him.

“Nothing bad, I promise.”, Elias smiles at them broadly and hopes it influences them to listen before they decide to leave. “Well, I decided to move out, now that I’m a responsible adult with a good job.” Sana and Yousef roll their eyes at the same time and even Elias knows how funny that sounds. Sure, he is an adult and he has a good job but responsible? Most of the time he still doesn’t know what he’s doing. Being an adult is hard, man.

“Great. You’re moving out, we knew you thought about this but why am I here right now?”, Sana says. She loves her brother but she had a very very long day. Before she got the text from Elias she had planned on going home and just watching a movie and going to bed after that.

“Because you love me.”, Elias exclaims and notices that Sana tries to hide her smile but he knows her too well to not see her lips quirk up.

Finally Yousef decides to contribute something to the conversation to get an answer: “Elias, tell us what you need from us, please.”

“Alright, alright. But I need you to promise me that you won’t say No without hearing me out, okay?”

“You’re not making this easier for yourself. Just tell us.”, Yousef says and puts his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He knows Elias for many years now but sometimes he doesn’t know why he decided to befriend him at all. He’s glad he did but he wonders sometimes. “We’re already here, aren’t we?”

Yousef looks at Sana, who looks from Elias to Yousef and just nods. She seems tired. Yousef didn’t notice before because she seemed so worried but now that that is cleared up, it’s more obvious.

“Okay. The thing is: I found this flat on the Internet and it’s perfect for me. It’s small but I don’t need too much space, I’m alone anyway.”

Yousef pats Elias’ shoulder and overdramatically says: “Aww, Elias. You’re not alone, you have us.” Sana laughs quietly but Elias just rolls his eyes and says: “Dude, shut up. Let me explain.”

“Like I said before I was rudely interrupted..”, Elias glares at Yousef who just shrugs, “It seems perfect for me. But the estate agent prioritises newly-wed couples to look at the flat. So I made an appointment for you two and thought that during the tour of the flat you could drop hints that the flat wouldn’t fit you but rather me. That way I would already have introduced myself to the estate agent and made a good impression and maybe she’d consider renting to me.”

Elias explains his plan as if it was the most normal thing to do when trying to rent a new place. Sana looks at him with her eyebrows raised and the most sceptical look Elias has seen from her in a while. “You’re unbelievable, Elias. I thought something bad had happened and then it’s just this stupid plan.”

“Hey, my plan is not stupid. I’m sure it will work.”, Elias defends his plan and looks at Sana and Yousef with the most hopeful puppy-eyed look he can give them.

Yousef thinks it’s important to mention one thing: “You seem to forget that we’re not married.”, and points to Sana. His eyes are drawn back to her and he catches her watching him talk. But she doesn’t look away as if she didn’t look in the first place. Yousef knows they are over that.

Elias laughs and shrugs: “The estate agent doesn’t need to know that.”

“Why didn’t you ask Jamilla and Yasin (my name for the eldest Bakkoush sibling)? They are actually married and would play along, I’m sure.” Sana can’t help but to throw that into the conversation. Elias’ plan seems very flawed and she is a little annoyed that he send her an ominous text message that made her worry more than it was necessary.

Elias looks at is phone and then up at the two people standing in front of him who he hopes will help him. “They’re not newly-wed and they wouldn’t play along like you two can.” Elias thinks to himself that Sana and Yousef act like they are a married couple most of the time. Elias is not exactly sure what it is that is going on between them but it’s more than them being just friends. They never were just friends and Elias knows that. “You’re even dressed perfectly for this.” Confused about this, Sana and Yousef first look down at themselves and then at the other. And Elias is right. Sana is wearing a long army green blouse with black jeans and Yousef is wearing arm green pants and a black Hoodie. They both have their hoods up. After they’re done inspecting themselves and the other, their eyes meet and for a few seconds they just look at each other smilingly.

Elias’ eyes fall on the display of his phone one more time and when he looks up again, he sees the estate agent walk towards them, from where Sana and Yousef came before. Elias quickly looks at his sister and best friend and whisper-shouts: “She’s coming right now. Behind you. Please play along. Please, please, please. Love you both.”, and smiles at them before the estate agents arrives to stand next to them. She asks if one the three is Yousef Acar. Yousef sends one more look towards his best friend and then looks at Sana to see if she’s okay with this. She just nods at him and he raises his hand lightly.

The estate agent introduces herself and then leads the way to the flat. Elias walks behind her, a little too eager for his plan of first acting like this wouldn’t be his flat. Lastly Sana and Yousef walk through the door. Yousef looks at Sana who smiles lightly and laughs about the eagerness of her brother. She’s wearing a light pink hijab he has not seen her wearing for a while but appreciates how it suits her.

Yousef bumps his shoulder lightly into hers which makes her look at him. Grinning he tells her: “At least he’s not stuck in a revolving door.”

Sana laughs about that and nods but doesn’t get the chance to reply because Elias, who is a few steps ahead of them, turns around and glares at them: “Are you gossiping about me again?”

“We didn’t say your name.”, Yousef says at the same time Sana says, “That’s the least you owe us right now.”

Before they enter the flat, which is on the third floor, Yousef and Sana stop for a second and look at each as if to say What did Elias get us into? It’s too late to back down now. Yousef holds his hand up, for Sana to take it if she wants to. They’re supposed to be a newly-wed couple and those are usually very in love. It won’t be hard for Yousef to ‘act’ like that. He’s not sure what it is that Sana and him have, but it’s definitely going in the right direction of what he hoped for a long time. He has been hanging out with Sana quite a lot. Sometimes it felt like a date when they hung out, sometimes not at all but it felt good all the time. Sana looks from his hand to him and then takes his hand and intertwines their fingers together. Yousef bites on his lip to not grin too much but the look Sana gives him makes it very hard. She’s smiling, showing her dimples but then pressing her lips together. Yousef’s eyes follow that movement.

Sana says: “Well, it’s not Elias stuck in a door but this can be a lot of fun.” Yousef agrees. He definitely agrees. Acting like he’s married to Sana doesn’t sound bad at all.

The flat has a bedroom, a living room, a small kitchen and a bathroom. The first room they go into is the kitchen. The estate agent talks about how great this kitchen is because whoever moves in can keep everything that’s already in here. The stove, fridge, and all that.

Sana and Yousef are supposed to make Elias look like the best possible tenant. They can do that. They’re still holding hands and Sana leans a little bit more into Yousef’s side, when she goes to answer the estate agent’s question of how they like the kitchen.

“It’s nice. It is. But maybe a little small for us.”, she looks up to Yousef and smiles at him before looking back at the estate agent: “This one likes to cook a lot. And for many people. So I’m not sure if this kitchen would be ideal for us. Right?” She looks at Yousef again who couldn’t keep his eyes off of her while she was talking. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts but then quickly nods.

“Yeah, my wife is right.”, Sana’s head turns really quickly to Yousef and she looks surprised and blushes. Elias notices that but all the estate agents sees is a happy couple. Yousef is very aware of Sana’s presence next to him, by his side, and to not dwell on it too much he continues talking: “This kitchen would be perfect for someone that cooks after work, for just themselves and maybe one or two friends. Like Elias for example.” Yousef points in the direction of Elias who conveniently is smiling at the estate agent. Even when she introduced herself she seemed more interested in Elias than the 'actual couple’.

“Then let’s go the next room. Hopefully that will fit better to your needs.”

The estate agents leaves the room first, and Elias after her. But before he leaves, he turns around and shows the couple two thumbs up and grins at them. He really thinks this plan will work out.

“On to the next room.”, Sana says smiling and leads the way but doesn’t let go of Yousef’s hand.

The next room is the bedroom. It is not too big either and Sana wonders why the estate agent would look for newly-weds to rent this place. There’s barely room for one closet in here, let alone two. They look at the room, Elias again a little more interested than Yousef and Sana. In fact, Yousef’s eyes keep finding Sana, their hands still intertwined and once in a while at Elias to see how he’s doing and what he’s looking at.
When they’re asked what they think of this room, Yousef waits for Sana to answer but she waits for him. So Yousef tries to think of anything to say. A reason why this wouldn’t work. But he can’t come up with anything. That’s why he says what he says next.

“I don’t really care much about the bedroom, so I’ll let you answer this one, babe.” At this both Bakkoush siblings in the room turn to look at Yousef but Yousef tries not to let it faze him. Sana on the other hand wasn’t prepared for him to call her Babe and is overwhelmed for a second. She gulps but turns to the estate agent and smiles at her while answering.

“To me, this is too small, I think. I noticed that a big bed plus two wardrobes wouldn’t fit in here.”, Sana says. “This is better for someone that lives alone, I think.”

Yousef, who forgets the act for a second, asks Sana: “Would we need two wardrobes though?” Elias widens his eyes at him to indicate that he shouldn’t look for anything that would make the estate agent think that they are interested. But Yousef doesn’t even realize that.

Sana raises her eyebrows and laughs. “Eh, yes! Definitely! You have so many shoes that those alone need so much space.”, she looks at the estate agent and without noticing what she does, leans more into Yousef. She’s holding his right hand with her left one and puts her right hand on his upper arm: “This one has a lot more shoes than I have and he looks after them really carefully, it’s crazy actually.”

“Hey.”, Yousef defends himself, “I don’t have that many shoes. And not too many pairs more than you have.”

Now it’s Sana’s turn to look offended. “Oh, please. I can assure you, if we went now to count them, you’d have more.”

While Yousef and Sana are bickering back and forth, the estate agent is watching them with an amused smile. All she thinks about these two is that they are such a good fit for each other. Elias uses the opportunity to make himself more sympathetic to the estate agent and comments with a nice smile: “They both have huge sneakers collections. Probably the same amount but none of them would admit that.”

And after looking at the bathroom quickly, the last room left is the living room. It is quite nice actually. Sana can see her brother living here. But not herself. Elias did really inform himself well and found a fitting flat for himself and now Sana hopes that this stupid plan will work out for him.

The living room has two big windows but rather low ceilings. She looks around for a bit, observes Elias’ reaction to the room and finally looks at Yousef who looks at her brother. He has been by her side the whole time since they stepped into the flat. Absentmindedly he strokes the back of Sana’s hand with his thumb which makes Sana smile involuntarily. From the corner of his eye, Yousef sees Sana look at him and meets her gaze. The thing in that very moment that makes him so happy is that usually both of them try to hide how much they like, no scratch that, love each other when other people are around. It makes them both, but Sana more, uncomfortable.  However, when they are alone or not being watched it’s completely different and they almost communicate with their eyes. And right now, right now they don’t need nor want to hide any of the feelings because at this very moment it’s wanted and necessary because of Elias’ maybe-not-so-stupid plan.

Yousef and Sana’s little private bubble bursts when the estate agent speaks up. She gave them a few minutes to look at the room even when there is not much to look at because it is an empty room.

“Before you tell me what you think of the living room, would you mind if I asked you something private?”, she doesn’t even wait for an answer and continues to talk, “Well, you two are the cutest couple I’ve seen in a while. You’re obviously so in love. Can I ask how you proposed? And who? I’m imagining it to be something very special.”

Proposing? Elias, who was chill the whole time and let the other two answer the questions, looked a little stressed out about this question. It’s a good thing he is standing behind the estate agent so that she can’t see his panicked face. Sana does though and tries not to react to it. Instead Sana tries to casually answer. She racks her brain for a good answer and then decides to say: “Well, I didn’t want to wait around until he asked me. So I was preparing something but he did propose to me first, didn’t you? Do you want to tell the story?” Now she looks up at Yousef again who is already looking at her. At the other end of the room Elias is just watching them navigate through the conversation. He thinks that they are doing better than he had imagined but he had hoped they would do well. They were the first two people that came to his mind as soon as he thought of this plan.

While he reacted to most of the questions as if he wasn’t sure how to answer, Yousef had a really good answer really fast. Like he didn’t even need to think about it.

“I did, yes. I knew that Sana deserved something better than just me getting on one knee and asking her to marry me.”, while saying that Yousef can’t look at anyone but Sana. He is supposed to talk to the estate agent but what he’s thinking about doesn’t allow him that. But he gets a grip on himself and looks at the estate agent to continue the made-up story. Usually it’s Sana that has most control over how she reacts to things and how she presents herself but in that moment she couldn’t do anything but look at Yousef.

“I got my friends, including Sana’s brother over there..”, Yousef nods in Elias’ direction and the estate agent looks over her shoulder to look at Elias for a second. “… to learn a choreography with me. I danced for almost my whole life now and the Sana caught me dancing once when we first started talking so I thought it was appropriate. We surprised her at one of her Basketball games, when she and her team came back from the break.”

While the estate agent looks really moved, she clutches her hand over her heart and smiles very broadly and seems at loss for words for a while. Sana is at loss for words too. Yes, it is a made-up story but he talked about it so quickly without thinking much about it, it amazed Sana. Imagining that really happening makes Sana want to almost cry because it is such a cute idea and she realizes she needs to get a grip on herself immediately. That doesn’t hinder her to unconsciously lean into Yousef’s side and him realizing it. After explaining  the plan, which is of course only a made-up story, for now, Yousef seems a little bit bashful and looks down on the floor before being able to look anyone in the room in the eyes. It’s quiet for a few moments until the estate agent exclaims how nice of an idea that was and if they had a video of that on their phones with them. After they told her no they didn’t she asks about the room.

Without hesitating Yousef takes the questions now: “I’m really sorry but I think that wouldn’t work. Combined we have a lot of books and DVD’s that we would need to put in a tall shelf and we both have big families we would invite over all the time, so I think this wouldn’t work for us.” He looks over at Elias now and says: “But this flat would be perfect for someone who is not married yet and doesn’t need as much space as we would.”, when saying we he lifts Sana’s and his intertwined hands.

Now Sana casually contributes to the conversation, acting like she just remembered something: “Elias, didn’t you want to move soon? Wouldn’t a place like this be perfect for you?”

With that Elias and the estate agent begin to talk, this time not about Sana and Yousef but about the possibility that Elias could rent this flat. While they do that Sana and Yousef decide to leave and wait outside. They go down the stairs, still hand in hand, both not noticing because it feels so natural. Once they stand outside, they let go but stand in front of each other. Smiling and looking at each other for two minutes without saying anything verbally.

All the tiredness Sana felt before coming here is gone, she feels really good. Yousef who wasn’t up to doing much on his day off, after a stressful few days feels like he could go on a run or climb a tree.
Instead he asks Sana: “You came here directly from the University, right?” She nods.

“Want to go eat something together?”, Yousef asks. Sana nods again. She looks up to the window of the flat they just looked at and then starts to say something to Yousef but gets interrupted by her phone. She reads the text she just got and smiles a little about it.

Sana looks into Yousef’s eyes and says: “That was Elias. He said that we can go without him.”

Yousef grins at her. He wouldn’t have minded having Elias with them, he is his best friend after all. But spending time alone with Sana is something completely different. “Then let’s go.” Sana falls in step next to Yousef; they walk down the street closer than they walked on the way there. So close that their hands brush against each other once or twice.

“I still would’ve loved seeing Elias stuck in a revolving door.”, Sana comments out of nowhere and makes Yousef laugh. He laughs so loud that an elderly couple in front of them turns around to look at them. But they don’t look annoyed; they just smile at Sana and Yousef.

“Me too.”, Yousef says. His gaze falls down onto Sana’s hand in his and he says: “But I’m happy about how all this turned out.”

Sana and Yousef look at each other, Sana looks at Yousef’s hand she took a few moments ago and then into Yousef’s eyes again.

“I’m pretty happy about this, too.“