this is the cutest thing okay

  • Guren: Okay Yuu, your first mission with us. Now it's time for you to kill some vampires!
  • Yuu: Yes!! Finally! *storms off*
  • Yuu: I WILL MURDER ALL THOSE FUCKING BLOODSUCKERS!! MWUAHAHAHA!!
  • Shinya: Think he'll be fine?
  • Guren: Of course! He's dreamed of killing vampires his whole life. I bet he'll kill lots of them.
  • *hours later*
  • Guren: Yuu
  • Guren: Yuu is that..?
  • Yuu: *carries Mika in his arms*
  • Guren:
  • Yuu: Guren, look what I found!
  • Guren: A... Vampire..?
  • Yuu: Yeah! Isn't he the cutest thing? Can we keep him??
  • Guren:
  • Guren: Yuu what the fuck.

Some Belated Valentines 2k17 Highlights from Flower Land

- The giant Russian man who stormed through the door while we were quite busy and shouted “Whoooo is helping me? I need BEST FLOWERS in the WORLD because I have BEST WIFE!!”
- The old man who picked up his roses at 8 AM and when I said “I hope she likes them!” giggled and said “These oughta keep me outta the dog house for at least a week!”
- At 3 PM: “I need a delivery of tulips to the south side today.” “We aren’t doing any more deliveries to the south side today.” “I should tell you that this is on behalf of my client {Redacted Football Player} of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.”
- “Hey, boss, I have an order from FootballPlayer of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.” “Don’t you mean FootballPlayer of The Bears FOR NOW?”
-“Okay tell him we’ll do it but he has to buy all our remaining tulips.”
- One guy wanted to buy a teddy bear holding a real rose so I made a teeny tiny rose bouquet for the bear to hold and it is easily the cutest thing I have ever made.
- This same guy grabbed a 55 dollar
arrangement from my table and brought it to me and said “Add flowers to this until it is 200 dollars.”
- Valentine’s Day makes some men crazy.
- When the last man came in to pick up his arrangement twenty minutes after we were supposed to close everyone who was working shouted his name in unison and it was Hilarious.
- All the parents sending flowers to their single professional daughters. Almost all of them made me teary. People from all over the country have daughters who live in Chicago and are single and they all wanted to send their single Chicago daughters flowers.
- “A man is calling and he says you are his best friend?” “What?” “He has an Eastern European accent?” “OH! It’s the man who has the best wife!”
- “I would like 100 roses.” “That will be 600 dollars.” “I would like 12 roses.”

Dorky Otp Prompts

‘I caught you dramatically singing to your cat that laid on you stomach and it was honestly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen’

‘I saw you rollerskating and I thought ‘that person is cool’ but then you crashed jesus are you okay’

’I found you in the kitchen at 3 AM taking apart our cabinets with a crazed look in your eye ‘cause apparently you thought you heard a mouse are you insane what was tHAT’

‘You made a ‘pun jar’ it’s like a swear jar except every time i make a bad pun i have to put in a dollar looks like we almost have enough for a new aPUNment-fine ill put another one in’

‘I work at a pet shop and everyday you come in on your way to work and pet every single animal here you are the purest soul™ I’m so in love’

'Me and my friends are such memey shits and they made me send you one of those 'send your crush without context’ thing problem is you don’t use the internet much and don’t understand and I’m so embarrassed’

'Our parents work for rival companies and they don’t know we’re friends well my dad pissed me off the other night wanna pretend we’re dating and do like cute stuff in front of him to get on his nerve?’

'We’re at a karaoke bar and you went up as a joke but the lights are hitting you so perfectly and your voice is so angelic and wow I think I’m in love.’

'You had this giant ass ice cream but you were so excited that you dropped it and I’ve never seen a sadder person in my life please let me just buy you a new one’

'We keep awkwardly running into each other and people have started to ship us and I kinda like you ahaha oh god I need to stop blushing’

The HC that got away from me

“While asking for an autograph once, my adorable baby bro, in all his chubby cheeked, six-year-old glory, looks Yuuri Katsuki right in the eye and says (read: yells), “I’M GONNA BE JUST LIKE YOU!” pulls off a wobbly pirouette and I shit you not this guy, pro skater, gorgeous athlete, gay as all f*ck, looks floored. Like he was genuinely about to cry cause my brother admired him, like what … what is he?

“I went to stand next to him for a picture, and I was super nervous so I blurted out, “Wow, you’re a lot taller in skates!” And HE APOLOGIZED AND OFFERED TO STOOP DOWN I didn’t even know what to say it was the most precious thing anyone’s ever said to me”

“I almost ended Katsuki Yuuri’s career today by screaming (purely on reflex) as he walked by with skate guards on, he was fine, but he fell and I apologized … but guys … he made the cutest noise. Like distressed kitten cute. My heart stopped for a second I …”

“Okay, Yuuri Katsuki fanbase, we need to make a rule to stop scaring our boy”#protectawkwardskatingson 

“Approach only when eye-contact is established and no sudden movements” #protectawkwardskatingson

phichit+chu - “Whatever you do DON’T SCREAM also it helps to check if his glasses are on or he can’t really see you, you’re just a terrifying blob coming at him”

christophe-gc – “You know what just make sure @ v-nikiforov is there, that improves your chances of not startling Yuuri by like 80%”

yuri_plisetsky - “Smile but don’t show your teeth at first, this could be seen as over-enthusiasm and will be met with nervous sweating and lots of babbling … it’s hilarious actually”

yuuri-katsudon - “… what is happening”

v-nikiforov – “best to try after his scores are up and never before, he’s very focused before he performs”

yuuri-katsudon – “seriously, what???”

phichit+chu - “Hush @ yuuri-katsudon we are helping you”

“Is anyone writing this down?” #officialKatsukirulebook

Part 1

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Okay but have you guys seen this? It’s like the cutest thing ever I swear