this is the best welcome home present ever

mrsanimelover79  asked:

dude i just read all your Suburban AU, and its the best thing ever!!!! if you have any more, im all ears! (love all your stuff, but this is just really doing it for me)

Thanks so much! Sorry this took me forever to get to, i’m kinda drowning in uni stuff atm, but here you go: 

  • When Ryan first moved in Jack came over to introduce himself, bringing along a beautiful home-made loaf of banana bread as a welcome present. Ryan smiled through the conversation, then tore the bread apart the moment the door was closed, looking for hidden dangers. He feels like a complete moron the second he’s finished, miserably eating the crumbs and vowing to get a better handle on this whole civilian business before he makes a fool of himself. When he returns the favour, painstakingly struggling to bake edible looking cookies and presenting them to Jack with a flourish he has no idea that behind all the sunny gratitude Jack is already wondering where he left his home poison testing kit. 
  • Gavin bought a ride-on mower; Not to mow the lawn, because he sure as shit never does that, but just because he thought it would be fun. Gavin proceeded to drive that mower through three different fences and into Michael’s pool. He then dragged himself home, dripping all over the sidewalk and leaving a trail of ruined electronics behind him like breadcrumbs before locking all his doors, closing all the curtains and pretending he wasn’t home. That Michael had a long enough moment of panic upon seeing the destroyed fence to grab a gun and fear the worst only makes him that much angrier when he realises what actually happened. 
  • When halloween rolls around there are some trick-or-treaters. Not a huge number, what with the reputation of their suburb, but enough to have everyone doing some impromptu gardening the week before to ensure no hidden security measures will be tripped. Jack absolutely loves Halloween, puts an utterly absurd amount of effort into decorating, compliments every single kid on their costume,  provides the best candy and doesn’t turn anyone away, not even the shitty too-cool teenagers. Geoff claims to be abstaining but when children wind up on his doorstep he finds himself handing out gourmet imported chocolates and $50 bills by the handful. Ryan makes his house look truely terrifying, splatters everything in remarkably realistic looking blood and dresses the part, but drops the act and turns into a complete marshmallow when wide eyed little kids still wander up to his door. Ray fills up a giant bowl with everything from candy to glitter stickers and leaves it out the front of his house before bringing all the gnomes inside, turning off his lights and spending the night with his headphones firmly in place. Gavin and Michael dress up in masks and dark clothing then slink around the neighbourhood enacting vengeance on behalf of kids who are let down on treats but too well raised to resort to tricks of their own.  
  • When they’ve been together long enough to be called friends but not so long that they’re really comfortable in their ability to behave like real boys, the cul-de-sac is talking about what they have gotten for Michael’s birthday tomorrow. Geoff panics, googles birthday surprises, and ends up renting a whole petting zoo. He quickly realises this is not the sort of behaviour a reasonable adult engages in for the birthday of another adult, though to be fair it’s still pretty fitting for a rich asshole and his man-child friends. They do have to stop Gavin from buying the miniature donkey, and Jack is torn between becoming mush in the face of cute animals and desperately trying to protect his garden and keep them away from all the poisons, but Michael spends the whole day in fits of laughter so it all works out in the end. 
  • The police come to talk to them at some point, canvassing the neighbourhood over a string of B&E’s a couple of streets over, and it’s like a comedy of errors as they all do a terrible job of acting natural, swinging wildly between vicious suspicion and wide-eyed innocence as they remember there is no reason for these cops to suspect a thing. The discussion afterwards is just at stilted, everyone jumping to tell each other about how crazy it is that they were so close to crime, what a thrill right guys? How scary is that? And aren’t the police just great, out there doing their jobs, disrupting the lives of criminals, what a service to humanity..
  • Gavin has camera’s hidden all over the neighbourhood - in theory so he can be alerted the second something goes wrong but in action he just uses them to watch the others sneaking around and completely failing at normal human interactions. It’s like the best kind of reality tv and he has to actively stop himself from bringing up various incidents he has no business knowing about. 
  • When Ray goes outside and finds himself face-to-face with the mother of all wasp nests he books it over to Michael’s place and refuses to go back outside. Michael very nearly burns down Ray’s whole house in his efforts to combat the issue with a home-made, just happened to have this lying around, this is totally normal behaviour flame-thrower. 
Ok so I just got back from Rome

“Your easter eggs are on your bed” says my lovely dad, so into my room I skip, only to notice that there is something on the boxes

“how cute” I thought,

so I lie on the bed and can’t help but notice something by my feet. I get up to take a closer look

hang on, there’s something on my mirror too

I’m seeing things. Better go to sleep for a bit

I’M SOBBING HELP

THIS IS BY FAR MY FAVOURITE

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

I TURNED ON MY LAPTOP TO POST THIS ON TUMBLR AND

I HAVE THE GREATEST SISTER EVER

Holy crap, tho.

The best welcome-home present ever. Thank you so much, guys. This is an unbelievable number. (More than the population of Monaco, I mean…) When I made this Tumblr four years ago, I would have been surprised if I had 100 followers. So imagine my shock at this number. I’m so grateful to all of you.

I say this every time I reach a milestone, and I’ll say it again; I’m always willing to share my resources with you any time you want. So please don’t hesitate to ask me anything you want and need help with. I’m more than happy to give them out. 

Aside from that, I’m also always willing to listen to whatever problems you have and whatever requests you’d like to make. Don’t ever hesitate to message me.

Thank you so much again. This is incredibly flattering <3