this is the best thing this is idea i'm so happy

fairhairedkings  asked:

8 43 52!

totally unrelated to this game but just throwing it out there bc i’m looking at it, your icon always makes me so happy. look at those little hands!!!!! love trash pandas

8. Do you have any writing buddies or critique partners?

Yes!!! I would be absolutely lost without @nickmillerscaulk, she is 100000000% responsible for a song inside the halls of the dark still being a thing tbh. she’s been beta-reading since the beginning and has been a sounding board and shoulder to lean on throughout the whole thing. she’s such an incredible editor, hugely supportive and enthusiastic listener and just like, all around??? amazing????? if for no other reason, that fic will always have a special place in my heart for being the thing we became friends over.

I also spend a lot of time bouncing ideas off of @foxmagpie who has an incredible eye for story and is always super down to let me ramble out places where I get snarled up and weigh in. @bourbon-ontherocks and I literally just made a pact to treat messages as a no holds barred therapy zone while we both work on our promt-a-thon fics for monday. in addition to being the primary recipient of my johnny tuturro themed decent into madness, @medievalraven has also listened to me ramble about/inspired an item or two on my no seriously I am going to write this list (this F themed extravaganza is going to be extremely bonkers) as well as being a wonderfully sympathetic shoulder to cry on when I get discouraged.

Apologies for getting all sappy on main but I love you guys, you’re the best.

43. How do you deal with rejection?

I don’t get rejected, everyone who has ever tried to reject me is dead to me and how could someone dead to me have ever rejected me? Laughable! Ridiculous! Could never happen!

Real talk, my general attitude is that people are gonna do what they’re gonna do and there’s an extremely limited amount of shit I can do about it. I try to give myself time and space to sulk and lick my wounds and then get back to business because like hell I’m going to let someone else’s wrong opinion keep me down. Not everyone is going to like me/what I write and that’s fine, their loss. 

That said, if the person doing the rejecting insists on being a dick about it, I plant a seed in my grudge garden and tend to it for the rest of my days. 

52. Who do you write for?

Me, 100%. I would be a filthy liar if I tried to say I didn’t care if y’all like what I put out as well, but at the end of the day, I’m writing what I want to write and hoping y’all are down for the ride, not the other way around.

writer ask meme

The scene where Steve, Nat and Scott drop in on Tony at his lake house leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.  

5 years pass. During those 5 years, ostensibly, none of the Avengers bother to visit Tony, not once. It’s not until they are presented with a problem that only Tony can (potentially) solve, not until they NEED something from Tony that they decide to intrude upon his life stop by.

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Tony is clearly unpleasantly surprised by their visit, which means there was no warning, no phone call, no nothing.  They just … needed something form him, so they came over. Because that’s what they do.

THEN they all gang up on Tony with their brilliant “(not)-Back to the Future” idea that Tony just has to, HAS to accept…

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leaving him to verbally defend himself against all of his teammates much like he did a few years back in AoU

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And when Tony tells them he can’t risk it, can’t throw away his one chance at happiness on an extremely uncertain, implausible gamble. When Tony, whom they haven’t bothered to check on ONCE during these 5 years, knowing that he went through, at the very least, as much trauma as they did (it was more, but who’s counting), had graciously offered them to stay and spend some time with his family, because he f&cking MISSED them

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They turn around and walk away - the ultimate spit-in-your-face move. Because he didn’t give them what they wanted, and therefore there was nothing for them to do there. Tony himself didn’t matter - the only thing that mattered was what he could give them. And since he refused to do it, they moved on to the next best thing - Bruce.

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I wish… I WISH the writers for the ensemble films bothered to read the comics (or at least watch the AA cartoons) and adopt the team dynamic from them, where they all actually genuinely cared for each other. Because this? is not a team.

@tonystark5ever

since 2013 there were 35 Geralt/Jaskier fanfics on AO3

as of today, 10 days after the show’s premiere…

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that’s 8 brand new fics per day

listen, I was literally STARVING for more content for past few YEARS

and now? how am I supposed to read them all and still have a little bit of time to do the things I really should do?

(jk jk I love you all I love this fandom and I’m so proud of you and I’m gonna comment every. single. one of those you all authors are WONDERFUL people please don’t stop throwing those wonderful works of art at me <3)

daniella501  asked:

Hi! I've been reading your blog and loving every single post. I'm a beginner at writing, and I was wondering: how could you write a realistic character?

Hi, thank you! I’m always glad to hear that this blog is helpful.

How to write realistic characters is always a common question among beginning writers, and I’d be happy to help you answer it. (Here’s my post on general character-building tips – it may help you.)

1. Give every character some sort of flaw.

Just as people aren’t perfect, neither are characters. It doesn’t have to be any huge problem – although it can be – but give each character something, whether it be stubbornness or a bad temper or being too giving. (My post on character flaws may give you some ideas.)

2. However, don’t make characters all good or all bad.

Give your protagonists bad traits and things they’re not good at, and give your antagonists talents and good traits. Chances are even the worst people think they’re doing right – just look at Hitler.

3. Don’t put your characters in boxes or give them limitations.

Just because your character is feminine doesn’t mean they can’t be an awesome streetfighter; just because your character plays varsity football doesn’t mean they can’t be intellectual and well-spoken. People are endless blends of traits, which is why they’re unique – so are characters.

Those are some blanket statements on creating characters – below I’ll link you to posts that may also help you!

Creating Likeable Characters

Building Friendships Between Characters

Writing Dialogue (the way a character speaks can tell a lot about them, which is why I’ve linked you to this post)

5 Ways To Develop A Convincing Character

Writing Dynamic Relationships

Character Mannerisms

Character Development

Writing Romantic Relationships

Also, @thecharactercomma specializes in characterization (and grammar), so that blog will probably be a huge help.

Hope this helps! If you have any more questions, feel free to ask! - @authors-haven

May I propose my idea for a “side chapter” for the ALiP (A Lesson in Practicality) guys: BASKETBALL!

My idea was: Roman and Virgil are fighting over a disneyshirt (or something? Idk) and they decide to play for it with a friendly basketball game (Roman and Virgil have been watching some sportanimes)

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Patton is on Virgil’s team and Logan is on Romans.

It starts out with a normal game. Virgil surprisingly good and fast, Patton and him are a good team he always passes to him to let him make the points.

Roman is also pretty good, throws hard, he is very sportsy and has good reflexes because of his Prince Charging work. Logan is good with strategy, which has limited effectiveness when the other team has the power of friendship.

At some point it escalates and they start using their powers and is more like a battle royale. Everyone vs. everyone. Logan makes it into a learning experience.

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Virgil:

his powers would be kinda unfair if balls thrown in stopped time would count, so they don’t. He instead uses them to sorta “teleport” over the feld whenever he doesn’t have the ball (rules still sorta apply in stopped time … Even when there would technically nobody to prove it but Virgil plays relatively nice) but he is reluctant to use his powers anyway, so he mainly counts on his fit body.

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Roman:

One could think he has the most useless powers for this competition but he just has to use them … Creatively. He can charge himself a little bit to keep the other away from him, he can cage (cage because the ball is made of rubber and doesn’t take in the electricity) the ball in electricity so the others can’t get to it when he has it, whenever Roman’s happy his “Luck thing” activates (idk help me here Celery) and he gets the ball on instinct and runs to the best places to win the round (on the other hand, should he become sad or frustrated in the game he’s out of luck ) … And more!

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Patton:

he makes some of his Pals appear and plays as a team with .. himself? Yeah. They’re playing great together but are not as compatitive as the other three, they make sure the others play nice.

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Logan:

He can just throw a bunch of balls with his telekenisis. They put up some rules for him to not let the balls float completely out of range and so on. But Logan makes this friendly battle into an experiment between all of them to use their powers in different ways.

(Ok slight spoilery for Probable Theorem now)

Thomas could be there with them, not to really use or train his powers just to watch (and beeing dragged in as judge) maybe Clyde is there too?

So, yeah, do with this whatever you want @residentanchor

Sorry that I haven’t been posting anything the last weeks 😅 I sorta have been taking somewhat of a break of the SS fandom and I still can’t promise I’m back fully…

2

Here’s a little reimagining of a drawing made by my sister 12 years ago. She is 6 years older than me and back then she was a huuuge influence to me art-wise. Today I’m the one pursuing the arts, but without her or her support I wouldn’t be here, so this is just a small token of appreciation <3

((I don’t know if this has been done, so if it has please tell me.))

So I’ve seen a lot of those ‘Humans are Space Orcs’ posts and I think those are really cool, but unnoticed they all consist of one thing: humans traveling with the aliens.

So there are a lot of ways you can do that, right? You could go all Star Trek and make it to where the humans and aliens all live together in harmony and travel space together and things like that. But I have a different idea and I think it’s pretty cool.

So humans don’t really know aliens exist. Obviously you have your conspiracy theorists and loons and the occasional 'abducted’ person, but for the most part it’s just generally accepted that aliens are fun and all, but they’re not /real/.

And then there’s this kid. He/she/they don’t really have a happy life, but they can’t really do anything about it. You can make them whatever you want, have any or of disorder or disability or just make them an angsty teen that comes from an unhappy home. They want to leave, but they’re too young, so they have to stay.

Then of course, the aliens come. But instead of crap like Independence Day (I say crap in a loving way, the movie was pretty good and I like it), the aliens just take one look at the kid, pick them up, and leave. That’s it. Nothing else. Just take the kid and go.

Of course the kid is terrified at first, but after like the first day or so they calm down because the aliens are treating them like gosh-darn royalty. They put the kid up in the nicest room on the ship, give them the best food they can muster from their rations, and provide for any kind of entertainment the kid might want. It’s like paradise, and the kid is happier than they’ve been in a while.

So the kid travels with these aliens on all sorts of cool adventures and throughout this period is when we get the 'Humans are Space Orcs’ discoveries. Like the kid will go up to random giant furry beasts and just glomp them and coo at them while the aliens are like “No that’s deadly it will kill you oh my god what is this kid doing?!?!” Or, if the kid has a uterus, come time for their period the aliens freak out because “Oh holy shmarda, the child is bleeding!! Why is the child bleeding?!” Hilarious antics and shenanigans ensue and the child is so happy with their new life that they never want to go back home.

Also included: drama when the aliens return to earth to find a human companion for the child (even though they didn’t ask for one you guys don’t have to do this really it’s fine) and the parents of the kid demand they be returned immediately. The kid doesn’t want to go back of course so the aliens have to fight for custody over the kid in court (I guess idk but something along those lines. Maybe the humans try to kill the aliens because the kid was “abducted” and that causes a lot of angst and problems.).

Idk just something that’s been floating about in my imagination for a while. I think it would be a really cool show though tbh like someone hire me.

Things I realized working on my Nano today:

1. Write the scene you don’t want to write.

I know you don’t want to write the boring bridging scene and you think 1300 words is a pretty good word count for the first day and you don’t even have any ideas for that scene because you had ideas for the scene before and you have ideas for the scene after.
Screw that, write it anyway. Yes, it might be bad, yes you’re really not inspired and it feels very bland right now. Write it. WRITE IT. Get to 1700 words with a boring filler scene that is needed for context.
Because honestly, if you’re not into writing that boring scene now, you’re not gonna be happy to have to write it on day 25 with 8K words to catch up.
Nano isn’t about writing your best novel, you cannot always write your best, Nano is about writing the whole damn thing. Then you’ll edit and rewrite until you make it good, make it best.

2. Pay attention when you read.

I’m not saying read everyday, nobody got the energy for that, but when you do read, pay attention to the words. If the way someone blended dialogue and descriptions together flows well, write it down for later. There is only so many times you can use “As for”, “But her eyes”, “When she”. At some point you get really tired of the way you write things, it doesn’t feel like a style anymore but just the same bits of sentences, simply reorganized with different words.
So pay attention to others’ words. Being able to use a phrasing you liked in your own writing will suddenly make you feel a whole lot more talented than you felt ten seconds before. Ride the highs when you can.

3. If you’re inspired to write more, write more.

Don’t settle for the 1667 words, if you’ve got a snippet of scene teasing at you, write it, a writer’s brain is a fickle thing and we don’t want you to forget why it had to happen this way, or this amazing dialogue you made up. If you write 2K today, that’s 200words you won’t have to force out on a bad day. Do it for future you.

art.

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your art studio wasn’t the most organized of all, brushes were scattered around the four corners of the place, some clean, some still with indefinite color paints stuck to its bristles, sheets of paper with color samples were lost between paint tubes and the easel that had been perfectly aligned in the morning now seemed a little crooked. but none of that really mattered at the moment; organization and creativity didn’t always go hand in hand, and by the end of the day, art, whatever its form, should be free.

your back rested against the wall, the sun coming in through the window and perfectly lighting jisung’s features. he was sitting on the sofa across the room, elbows on his knees, one hand firmly holding his notebook and the other a pencil, his face writhing in confusion as he stared at the words written on the paper; his hair had grown a little since the last cut and now fell nicely above his eyes, the brown locks were messy since the composer hadn’t worried about combing them before putting on his yellow sweater and coming to meet you in the studio. it was good when you took some time to work together, made you feel happy, as if he were the missing piece in the puzzle of your life.

“shouldn’t you be painting?” he asks, his eyes not slipping from his notebook as a silly smile played over his lips.

“shouldn’t you be writing?” you return the question, the brush still between your fingers and a few drops of paint staining the exposed skin of your legs.

“i’m trying, but it doesn’t flow and it’s frustrating, okay?” he drops the pencil and throws the notebook on any corner of the sofa, not caring to check where the inanimate object had fallen.

you smile, biting the handle of the brush and shaking your head in denial. it had been weeks since this idea was wandering through your mind, you just weren’t sure if jisung would agree to participate in such a thing, it was too tacky, it took a lot of body contact, and it was certainly something really intimate to do with the best friend you were falling in love with, but it was worth the shot, right?

“take off your sweater, the shirt too, and then lie on the floor.” you said, getting up and going to the shelf where you kept some body paints. jisung looked surprised, unable to make any movement as you paced around the small studio with several things in hand.

“w-what?” you laughed, putting the paints next to some brushes and a half-filled glass with water on the coffee table, crouching in front of the boy who was now following your every move with his eyes. eyes that still seemed to be overflowing with innocence even though your flirtations weren’t subtle at all.

“i’ll use you as a canvas.” you said, your voice steady and decisive. “even if the real art here is you.” he seemed to relax after these words had left your lips, laughing and running a hand through his hair. damn, how could he be so beautiful doing absolutely nothing? you hoped he would never see the thousands drawings of him that were lost among your sketchbooks; he would surely think you were crazy and run away.

“you’re so cheesy, you know that?”

“i’m a painter, i’m cheesy by nature.” you stared at him for a moment, a silent conversation taking shape between the both of you, words weren’t necessary for the boy to know how you felt.

“ok.” he murmured, his voice low, almost hoarse as he hesitantly brought his hands to the tip of his sweatshirt. you stepped back a little, just enough to sit on the coffee table and admire the scene that was forming in front of your eyes.

he was breathtaking, and without delay the sweatshirt was already lying on the sofa, lost beside the notebook and the pencil, the black t-shirt was thin, perhaps too big for him, and he wasted no time in removing it from his body as well, now slower, as if he was doing it on purpose, as if he knew what he did to you. jisung could be innocent from time to time but that didn’t change the fact that he was still a fucking tease.

he stood up, a sly grin dancing on his lips before he lay on the rug, his bare back exposed and ready to become art through your hands.

you were paralyzed, processing what just happened, that smile on his lips meant something? or was it just another fantasy of your fertile imagination? god, that kid was going to drive you crazy and you wouldn’t even have how to protest.

“i’ll sit on you now.” you said, unable to filter the sentence before it escaped your lips, not noticing the double meaning contained in those simple words; something that jisung didn’t let pass, of course.

really? without even asking me out before?” his voice was pure irony, but you couldn’t help noticing a certain tension there as well.

on your back! i meant that i’m going to sit on your back so i can paint.” anxiety ran through your whole nervous system, and every part of your body seemed attentive to his movements, even though at that moment his eyes were closed while he rested his chin on his crossed arms, it was as if he could read you without even needing to see you, and you might have underestimated the boy when you called him innocent. maybe the innocent one there, were you after all.

you took a deep breath, your shaking hands picking up one of the brushes and the blue paint tube before you turned towards jisung’s body, his breath was calm and his skin looked so soft, his black pants fell a little below his waist, showing the tip of his underwear, and you had to push away impure thoughts that persisted in invading your mind. shit, where had all your self control gone?

“are you going to keep staring at me all day?” his voice was sleepy this time, as if he were really relaxing and enjoying that moment.

you didn’t say anything, just being careful to put one leg on each side of the boy’s body, trying not to hurt him when sitting on his lower back.

“what are you going to paint?” he asked, his eyes still closed.

“i don’t know, maybe a distorted version of starry night.” you replied, your fingertips wandering on the composer’s caramel skin, visualizing the image that would soon take shape through the paint, perhaps taking advantage of the situation to feel its softness against your own hands.

“this feels nice.” at that point his voice was almost a sigh, and you had a privileged view of the way he shivered in reaction to your touch, your heart beating faster with each passing second while daniel caesar’s “japanese denim” sounded all over the room.

you swallowed hard, trying to somehow maintain control of your actions by opening the paint tube and depositing some of the content in specific places on jisung’s back, then putting the object back in its place of origin on the table. the brush you still held in your hands seemed to work alone, being guided by the brief memory you had of the famous van gogh painting. maybe all that was a cliché after all, but who cared? you had stepped forward and maybe this small step could become a long walk. you wouldn’t complain if you had the chance to spend other afternoons like this with the boy by your side; surrounded by art, music and the smell of his perfume that seemed to be impregnated in every part of that studio.

the brushstrokes began to be more precise, more focused, more abstract than the planned but not less charming, soon yellow and white mixed with blue creating a near perfect copy of the original painting. you certainly weren’t as good as van gogh or painted perfectly within the lines, but at the end of the day art wasn’t about perfection but about emotion, and the last one you had to spare.

jisung’s breathing, which had been calm until now, began to get faster, heavier even. it was a subtle transition and you wouldn’t have noticed such an act if the brush not been shaken and blurred a little the lines you were trying to create. for a minute you thought that you might be hurting him or something, but then you realized that unintentionally your free hand had been bolder, grabbing the musician’s waist and squeezing the sensitive spot one time or another. the fact that your body moved over his every time you turned to wipe the brush in the container with water also didn’t help the boy control his hormones, and he was slowly losing control over his own actions, not being able to resist the sensations that took hold of his being.

you stopped, the brush being pushed aside, and the hand that once created art on the boy’s back coming to the other side of his waist, this time the caresses became more precise, and you didn’t mind the mess that the still wet paint did through your fingers, bending down and bringing your lips to the curve of his neck, giving kisses there, calm kisses, delicate, passionate ones as well. he opens the eyes that had been closed all this time, his voice weak when he whispers:

“what are you doing?” you smile, your gaze finding his, and before finally confirming that the lyricist’s lips were really as sweet as you imagined, you respond:

“i’m just painting.”

The Types getting confessed to (By someone they also like)
  • ESFP: What? Wow! I never saw this coming! This is great because I really liked you too! I was going to confess later in the day actually! Let's go out, bae ;)ENFP: WOW WHAT??? Oh my gosh! This is so unbelievable! Did you know I liked you since grade 4? This is so awesome! We get to do all the cool things I've always pictured myself doing with you!
  • ESTP: No way! I like you too! This is so great, let me take you out, I'll bring you to this super awesome amusement park. I'll be your best first date ;D
  • ENTP: I mean I'm not surprised ;) Let's go out, like right now, I got tons of ideas of where to go. Do you have a preference for go karts, paintballing or waterpark?
  • ESFJ: *Smiles* I like you too! For a long time actually, I was just kinda unsure about how you felt...but this makes me so happy! You wanna go out sometime soon?
  • ENFJ: *Saw this coming but kept denying it to themselves* Woah are you serious?! I had a feeling but I didn't think I was reading it right. That's so awesome! I'll treat you so well <3
  • ESTJ: Oh wow that's...really great actually. You free this Friday night? I'll pick you up at 7pm, wear something nice ;)
  • ENTJ: *Mentally fits having a relationship into their busy schedule* You know what you're signing up with right? Perfect, I'll call you sometime to arrange a date<p/>
  • ISFP: *Is overwhelmed but excited* I really like you as well! Wow is this fate or something? I think this may be destiny ;)
  • INFP: ME TOO!!! *hugs* Sorry I'm just really happy, I was hoping you'd confess first :P
  • ISTP: You...like me? Never saw that coming, since I think you're really cool as well :) We should go out sometime, you free?
  • INTP: Wait what....what. You mean like...romantically? Like you wanna date me? O.O Would've never guessed...well uhm, so what do we do from here?
  • ISFJ: Yes! finally! *hugs* this is so great, I've been really shy to show you all the love and appreciation I feel for you. I'm happy to finally be able to make it official :)
  • INFJ: No waaaaayyyyy *actually could tell since last week* we should really get to know each other some more, I'm really interested in spending some time with you if you want
  • ISTJ: ...I'll treat you right, I promise. I'll do my best to make you happy and make this work. I really like you.
  • INTJ: Are you sure....? Because I thought I was interested in you too, but I don't have much experience in this area. I think you and I should get to know each other a little bit more and come back to this
All Along

I’ve got Ladybug feels for days and no concrete ideas so please accept whatever this is.

~*~

“Today’s the day,” Adrien said. He stared himself down in the mirror, daring his reflection to contradict him, but the tired twenty-two-year-old former model in the mirror merely stared back. Behind his reflection, Ladybug, who sat cross-legged on his bed, tilted her head.

Chaton, are you sure?” she asked.

He turned to face her. “I have to do something,” he murmured. “It’s driving me crazy. She’s been taking care of me for so long…”

Ladybug looked away and worried her lower lip. Despite his confidence, the gesture filled Adrien with uncertainty. He’d been in love with his Lady for as long as they’d been partners. She was his best friend. He didn’t want to do anything to make her uncomfortable, and yet…

He approached her and took her face in his hands. “Please don’t tell me you’re jealous. The timing couldn’t be worse.”

Keep reading

Dating Blackwatch!Genji Would Include...

these are my personal headcanons for my boy so if any of these are insane, you know why lol // this is also kinda long so I’m putting some under the line

  • to start things off, he is literally the angriest man alive so like be prepared
  • tbh he’s probably not ready for a relationship at first, you’ll have to be very patient with him
    • his brother just tried to kill him after all so family issues are also going to be a main dilemma for him
  • you’re going to have to be the most patient person because genji is going through a lot of internal conflicts at this point and he’s just consumed with rage and confusion and revenge
    • this is also why zenyatta is able to whisk him away so easily and turn him into the lovely cyborg ninja dude we all know and love today

Keep reading

To my favorite follower,

So, this is kind of awkward. I mean, we’ve never talked before, and even now, I can’t seem to reach out to you directly. Not while you know it’s me, anyway. There’s a comfort to anonymity, you should know that better than most. You seem to like hiding behind a profile, too.

Yet another thing we both have in common, who would’ve guessed?

But, I like to keep tabs on people, especially you. I don’t know why, if I’m being honest. Something about you, your adorable little quirks, and the way you leave all your accounts so open for anyone to access… it makes me feel nice. Good, all warm inside. You should really make your passwords a little more different, by the way. Guessing most of them took less than an hour. Oh, and cover your webcam. I don’t like the idea of anyone watching you but me.

But that’s beside the point, and neither of us will have to worry about stalkers or creeps for very long. You know, you’re awfully clumsy when you’re alone. And trusting, too. If you were anyone else, this wouldn’t be an issue. But you’re not, and that’s just creating so many problems. Other people want to take advantage of you. They’d use you, or hurt you. They aren’t like me. They aren’t content with watching silently, you’re just appreciating you for the subtle masterpiece you are. Luckily, I’m flexible. And I can fix all of those little problems of ours.

Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. I bet no one will even know you’re gone for a few weeks.  

I’m sorry… I really wanted to do this more romantically. I was going to let you see this on Valentine’s Day, and make it sound less like I’m… well, threatening you, but not everything always goes as planned. Once I have you, though, everything will be perfect. I promise.

I already have everything set up. You’ll have an entire cabin to yourself, and a nice, cozy cellar to stay in until you calm down. If you fight at all, I mean. The walls are reinforced, too. Soundproofed and everything. You can scream if you want, but I’d prefer that you didn’t. Out of all the lovely sounds you make, that one isn’t exactly my favorite. And there shouldn’t be a reason for you to be scared of me, really. Once you realize that what I’m doing is for the best, everything will be fine. You’ll love me as much as I love you, and we’ll be so, so happy together.

… you will be happy with me, right? I’ll take good care of you, better care than you seem to think you deserve. You’re probably scared, but you won’t have to be for long. You’ll see things my way in a few days.

anonymous asked:

a prompt: all the chairs in a tavern fill up while Jaskier is performing, so when he finishes and goes to sit down there's no empty chair. Someone yells "you can sit on my lap." (You can see where I'm going with this. But if you can't, it ends with Jaskier in Geralt's lap.)

THANK YOU for the lovely prompt!! It’s such a fun idea :D i loved it. Hope I made a good job writing it, and that you enjoy it! It’s also on AO3

The Sturdiest Lap

It’s a pretty small village, and the tavern isn’t very big either, so when Jaskier decides to play to the mostly empty place, he figures he’ll play a few songs, and get almost no coin, but he needs to try and get something at least.

Geralt’s sitting at a very small corner table - what is it with him and corner tables? - drinking ale, and eating some nasty slop. Probably waiting for a scraggly villager to come knock at his door (table) for some help, because monster, and death, and the same thing as usual.

He decides to start off strong, with his most popular song, Toss a Coin to your Witcher, just in case the folk feel more giving - they really need the coin, and Geralt is right there. And he’d probably close the night with the same song too, people usually liked when he did that.

Surprisingly though, the night picks up steam and the tavern gets more and more full, the longer Jaskier sings. All the seats getting occupied, some stragglers drinking while standing, and singing along drunkenly with Jaskier. He was wrong assuming this was a quiet village, they all seem to be quite a raucous group of villagers, just in need of a good night of fun. And Jaskier isn’t anything if not fun.

Geralt looks slightly uncomfortable, being surrounded by so many people, but he doesn’t leave. He stays put, even as someone sits in front of him, in his little table. And he does glare at the man, but for once in Geralt’s life the look he gives the man doesn’t scare him off, he actually smiles up at Geralt - and the incredulous, confused, look Geralt gets on his face in response is priceless, and sort of adorable.

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anonymous asked:

Hi. I'm so glad your request are open again. I was wondering if you could possibly do a Spirited Away Au with Oni Genji. Like reader works in a bathhouse and Genjis a frequent guest there and with his playboy attitude and hard cash everyone there bows down to him. He sees reader and is immediately in love offering her gold, status, anything to make her his but she politely refuses cause she just likes to work. Idk I love your stories and this idea has just been on my mind for a while.

Genji: 

Surely working in the bathhouse wasn’t going to be as horrible as you thought it would be. The young woman who had taken you under her wing was nice enough to let you know that she had your bag and had even gone to great measures to make sure you had clothes that fit you properly. As long as you kept your head down and did your work, Yubaba wouldn’t turn you into an animal like she had done with the rest of your group. 

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I watched the SU movie and felt uneasy at the end.

Yes, it was wonderful, it was moving and it had breathtaking songs.

image

BUT

I did not like the ending. Not one bit. I think letting Spinel leave with the diamonds was ignorant at best from Steven and the others and malicious at worst.

Think about it. First of all the diamonds seemed to be so thrilled to see Spinel pretty much only because “she was Pink’s”. I bet they would’ve not been anywhere near as enthusiastic if Spinel wouldn’t have ever been in contact with Pink. So do they want to have her as a Pink replacement or what? Steven doesn’t want to move in with them so they want the ‘next best thing’? To be honest, I can’t know for sure of course but, I don’t think the diamonds will be forever entertained by Spinel. And what then? Will they discard Spinel? Will they abandon her somewhere? Will the cycle repeat?

They don’t care for Spinel herself. They don’t care about her trauma, they completely disregarded Pink leaving her to rot in that fucking garden for 6000 years! Yellow even laughed at her and belittled her. The idea of having a little living memory of Pink appeals to the diamonds. But Spinel, as a living, feeling 'person’, well, a gem (you know what I’m getting at!) does not. Everyone stands there and is not saying anything. Even though there is a situation that raises red flags in my opinion, no one says a single thing.

And this brings me to my next point:

What if they all realised how fucked up this all was but they didn’t say anything. Steven didn’t say anything. Steven practically handed Spinel over to the diamonds. Maybe he decided to make Spinel someone else’s “problem” in favour of his own more convenient and easy happy ending.

Spinel was happy to go though, no? I mean…yes, maybe at the time. But truly? Maybe not. The promise of immediate friendship, adoration and love clouded her judgement of the situation. Moments before she acknowledged that the rode to recovery and making new friends would be difficult for her. And when this easy, possibly false road to recovery was unveiled to her, she immediately took it to escape the pain and hardship.

I feel like if she would’ve been given the opportunity to think clearly and not with a damaged mind and so suddenly everything has happened, she would’ve refused the offer. I doubt she wants to be just a replacement for someone. I doubt she wants to be someone that anybody just settles for.

Yes, it isn’t Steven’s responsibility to care for/about Spinel. But he befriended and helped Peridot and Lapis too. And they got to stay. Steven wasn’t obligated to help them either but he did.

anonymous asked:

I've talked myself out of writing ideas I love because I'm too afraid of what my audience will think and that I'll be vilified for writing just about anything that isn't low-rated fluff. The fear exists for both fanfic and original fiction. Do you have any advice on how to overcome that fear?

I don’t know that it needs to be overcome so much as ignored. 


Here’s the deal. (And you must all imagine me being as serious about the following as you’ve ever heard me get, even though there will be cussing in this. (In fact, as as the continuity announcers say over here, “Adult language, violence and flashing lights from the outset…”)

First of all: The hell with your audience. (…This sentiment may sound rude or potentially self-destructive, but if you run this past most professional writers who routinely do work of higher-than-phoning-it-in level, I bet you’ll get a lot of agreement.) If you’re serious about writing well, your first duty is to please yourself. You are the only audience you have any business being concerned about.

Confused people, especially people with no interest in writing anything, may attempt to shove this insight aside as somehow egotistical or selfish or silly. Ignore them. They are missing the vital data that comes of being saddled with the desire to write (and to write well; I don’t think anyone sets out on purpose to write badly, though God knows it happens).

(ETA: Wow, I got kind of intense about this, and it goes on for a bit. So here’s a cut.)

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anonymous asked:

This is going to sound like a random Question but what sort of Jewish represention do you think there should be more off? Like types of Jewish characters? Artists? Scientists? Healers? Mechanics? (Asking cause I'm writing a story and I want to add Jewish characters and I want to write Jewish characters that Jewish people can be happy about )

Oh man, that is an awesome question!

I mean, when it comes to types of characters, I think the more roles you let Jewish characters play, the better. So absolutely, all of the above to the ones you mentioned! Artists, scientists, healers, mechanics! All of those sound awesome! I’d love more Jewish warriors too! Jewish magic-wielders! Wise Jewish mentors and young Jewish coming-of-age stories! 

It’s less to me about specific roles, like “I want more Jewish scientist characters!”, and more about certain things you should keep in mind no matter what the specifics of your Jewish character are.

1) Avoid stereotypes. If your Jewish character exists to be greedy, untrustworthy, and money-hungry in some combination, you’re probably writing an anti-Semitic stereotype. Likewise, while I love the idea of a well-executed Jewish nerd character (I’m a Jewish nerd myself!), you need to watch out for two-dimensional, “nebbish” Jewish nerd types. If you’re not Jewish yourself, best to also avoid overbearing Jewish mother stereotypes and similar cliched roles.

2) Basically - if your Jewish character seems exactly like twenty stereotypical Jewish characters who already exist, you’re probably doing something wrong. It’s okay to take something that can be stereotypical, like a Jewish character who’s nerdy, or a Jewish girl who’s a spoiled popular kid (aka a “JAP”) and make it part of a larger, more complex character. But you can’t leave it at that. (NOTE: This does NOT apply to the “greedy, untrustworthy gold-digger” stereotype. It doesn’t matter how nuanced you try to make it, we don’t need more of those characters. Don’t do it.)

3) Occasional references to matza, gefilte fish, and Chanukah do not constitute thoughtful Jewish representation. Vary it up a bit. Do a little research. There are so many interesting ways you can incorporate Judaism into your character! We have so much history, so many interesting traditions and holidays! Try asking Jewish friends when you need help on the specifics. Most of us are happy to ramble.

4) LET MORE JEWISH CHARACTERS BE RELIGIOUS IN WAYS THAT AREN’T STEREOTYPICAL. This is probably the biggest thing I want to see as an Orthodox Jewish girl. Basically all the Jewish characters you see are either completely secular and culturally/religiously divorced from Judaism (see above point), or else a very exaggerated, cliched portrayal of ultra-religious “Hasidic” Judaism (note: this is usually not even an accurate depiction Chassidic Judaism, let alone anything that will resonate with the rest of us.) There’s such a broad spectrum in between that’s left completely untouched. Show me more Modern Orthodox Jews, Conservative Jews, Reconstructionist Jews. Jews who are genuinely devout (or not! or who are religious but struggling with it!) but also portrayed as regular human beings. Whose entire story doesn’t revolve around the fact that they’re religious. I can’t tell you how rare it is to see that.

5) Building up off the last point, NOT ALL JEWS ARE WHITE* AND ASHKENAZI (i.e. from the European diaspora.) As rare as it is for white Ashkenazi Jews to get good representation, it’s even rarer to see Sephardi Jews, Mizrahi (Middle-Eastern) Jews, Ethiopian Jews. And this isn’t just an issue of race! (Although it’s definitely important to show Jews of all different ethnicities.) Different Jewish communities can have very different customs and traditions, and it’s great to show the very different kinds of Judaism that exist out there.

6) Let more Jews be the heroes of their own stories? I can think of lots of stories with That One Jewish Side Character (maybe The Jewish Best Friend), but not that many where the main character, or one of the main characters, is Jewish and gets to have an amazing story told about them in which their Judaism isn’t an incidental thing that’s mentioned one time, but also isn’t the sole defining factor of their character and their story.

7) This is a personal thing, I’ll fully admit that, but: I really want to see more stories where the main romance is between two Jewish characters. A while back, I remember asking a group of Jewish fangirls I’m part of how many examples of that they could come up with, and you’d be shocked at how hard it is to come up with them. It’s not that you can’t have your Jewish main character end up with a non-Jew (though if they’re meant to be more traditional or religious, you need to think about how that would work) - you totally can - but I’d really love to see more epic romances between two Jewish people. 

8) More genre fiction with Jewish protagonists. Again, on a personal level, I’d love to see more Jewish superheroes, since we did freakin’ create the genre, after all. ;-) (And ESPECIALLY more religious Jewish superheroes, since we have practically none.) But in general more Jewish characters in fantasy, sci-fi, mystery, period dramas, romance. Again, it’s about letting us exist as fully-realized characters who aren’t solely defined by being Jewish.

9) If your character sounds like a bad parody of Fiddler on the Roof, you’ve done something wrong.

10) If your character sounds like a bad parody of The Chosen, you’ve done something wrong.

11) Don’t touch on the whole political controversy about Israel/Palestine unless you’ve really, really done your research and know what you’re talking about. Even then, it’s best to be cautious. 

12) Understand that Jews aren’t some kind of monolith hive-mind and not everyone will agree on what’s good or bad representation. The guidelines I’ve layed out here are based on the kind of representation I’d want to see, and overall I think most Jews will agree with the bulk of what I’ve said. But you’re not gonna please everybody, and that’s okay. As long as you’re thoughtful and respectful and do your best, that’s enough.

*Some people will argue that no Jews are white, only white-passing. That is a whole ‘nother debate that I won’t be getting into in this post. Suffice to say it’s a complicated issue, but I’m referring to white-appearing Ashkenazi Jews as “white” here for convenience’s sake, even though it’s not really that simple.

nerieda  asked:

Alright I'm curious about your take on movie night with the undateables, including Luke since this is non- romance. Snack preferences, what movies they choose, funny stories from movie night. Whatever strikes your fancy with the idea is good with me. Thanks in advance!

Sorry it took a little bit (´ω`。) It’s my first time working with these characters so I wanted to give it my absolute best

I’m setting this up as individual movie nights so that each character can get the spotlight for a while; I hope that’s ok!  Also, a lot of them somehow ended up in a context of it being the first time you’d hung out one on one lol

Simeon:

  • It feels like Simeon spends just about all of his time with Luke and Solomon, while you spend just about all of yours with the brothers.  So, you decide to have a movie night to finally spend some time together without having to divide your attention.  Purgatory Hall is the obvious choice of location, since its residents are much more ready to leave you alone when asked.
  • This angel is a traditional kind of guy, as angels tend to be, so popcorn is the only snack idea that comes to mind.  Traditional doesn’t mean close-minded, though, so he’s more than willing to try out any snacks you bring along.  Actually, he encourages you to bring a bunch of snacks to try out together!  You can have a taste test while you watch the movies!
  • Simeon likes Hallmark movie-type movies a lot, mainly because they demand little emotional investment.  Movies like horror don’t scare him, but they do stress him out because he wants all the protagonists to get their happy ending!  Another benefit of Hallmark movies is that it’s fun to try to guess exactly what will happen, since they can be so predictable.
  • Of course, he doesn’t want to monopolize your movie lineup, so if there’s something you want to see he’s all for it.  If you want to go for something more thrilling, he’ll power through it like a champ, but you can see him visibly cringing at some points.
  • Simeon is lowkey a movie cuddler, but like in a way that still respects your personal space bubble.  He won’t spend the film with you in his arms or anything, but the entire couch is fair game.
  • Simeon apparently likes to talk during movies–he doesn’t mean to, but the thoughts kind of just come out.  He’s brutally honest about what he’s thinking, so if you’re down with it, talking about and roasting the movie as it’s happening is a load of fun.  “I don’t know MC, I don’t think this guy’s all that great either?  Sure maybe he isn’t completely ignoring her, but look, he obviously has commitment issues; at least her ex was just busy all the time.  Look, Mr. Lone Wolf’s beard is uneven.  Why does she want a man who wants to look rugged but can’t get it right?”
  • Simeon also will accidentally spoil any movie he’s already seen like this, so you’re best off watching films that are new to both of you.
  • He knew that you were a nice and fun person, but honestly he’s kind of taken aback by how good you are to be around.  Since the only human he’s usually around is Solomon, talking to one and not feeling like you need to second-guess everything you’re told is a new and welcome feeling.
  • Before you split for the night, he asks if you’d like to do something like this again.  As an angel, there’s a lot that he hasn’t experienced–a lot of food, a lot of activities, a lot of media–and you’re someone that he feels like he would be comfortable trying new things with.  You can expect lots of texts like, “Hello!  I hope you’re doing wellヾ(^-^)ノ Are you free tomorrow?

Luke:

  • You probably decide to have a movie night after Luke ends up spending way longer than he expected to in the kitchen at the House of Lamentation.  On the condition that absolutely no demons are to join you two!  Ok maybe Beel and Levi are ok but absolutely no one else!  After a call to Simeon explaining that he isn’t coming back to Purgatory Hall tonight you guys are good to go.
  • He always brings baked goods when he comes over, plus whatever he was working on in the kitchen, so you’re more than covered!  The majority of it is things like cookies and fudge bark.  They’re easy snacks to grab a handful of.
  • Luke tries to insist that he wants to watch a movie with lots of violence or a horror film, or any other kind of movie that teenagers sneak into.  He’s doing it because he’s so frustrated with everyone calling him a kid when he’s centuries older than a human will ever be, stop making fun of him!!  For his sake and yours, you should tell him that you don’t want to watch that sort of movie, because if you let him get away with it he’ll get too freaked out in the first 20 minutes.
  • Most likely you’ll end up having a Disney marathon.  They’re so fun, and since the Celestial Realm is pretty isolated when it comes to cultural exchange, he’s only seen a couple, so you can show him your favorites!  Also, he’s not crying.  No, you saw that wrong.
  • He starts off on the other side of the couch, one again trying to be mature and shit, but that won’t last long.  Anyone who sees you huddled together like that will be punched in the gut with the sheer level of sibling energy y’all are radiating.  Lucifer almost doesn’t want to mock him.  Almost.
  • That thing where immediately after consuming a piece of media, you imagine yourself as part of that universe?  Luke loves to talk about that sort of thing.  “If I lived there, I’d have given Gaston a piece of my mind!”  “Ok but if I was a piece of furniture what do you think I’d be?  I can totally see you being a…”
  • “I think you’d be the footstool that acts like a dog, Luke.”  “Hey, Lucifer, you weren’t invited to our party!!”
  • You might (will) have to fend off a few nosy demon brothers to protect your demon-free movie lair.  Luke swears that next time you have to come over to Purgatory Hall, but he’s having way more fun here than he’s willing to admit.
  • He also learns that most of the brothers will listen to you without complaint.  He will definitely keep this in mind.
  • This kid angel has so much energy, how is he still awake after five movies?  You absolutely have to establish a bedtime because he literally will not go to bed until you do.

Solomon:

  • It’s quite rare for you to have a break from the seven avatars of attention hogging, so if you’re going to have a movie night, Purgatory Hall may as well be a godsend.
  • You may want to be careful about getting there, because if Asmo catches wind that you and Solomon are having a movie night without him, he’s going to show up unannounced and then refuse to leave.  Solomon can come pick you up if you need.  Just, he’ll be waiting a block away so Asmo can’t catch up.
  • Solomon is a “dinner and a show” kinda guy.  He will offer to make dinner.  Do not let him do this.  Either make it yourself or order takeout.
  • You’ll pretty easily agree on alternating who chooses the movie.  You get the first, he gets the second, you get the third, etc.  Definitely isn’t letting you choose first to lure you into a false sense of security about the DVD in his hand, what made you think that?
  • Solomon is the kind of person to lie about what sort of movie he’s put in.  “Solomon what is this supposed to be?”  “Oh, don’t worry about it.”  It’s gonna be a weird movie.  You just have to wait and see.
  • He is going to rip into your movie choices.  He liked how they worked with this, and that was impressive, but these bits?  Did they think they could get away with that?  What was the budget?  Rest assured, though, he expects you to do the same for him.  In fact, he’ll be quite disappointed if you don’t.
  • He prefers a setup on his bed rather than on the couch.  He’s also one of the ones who keeps to himself in terms of personal space, although that’s not to say that he isn’t relaxed.  Some might say he’s too relaxed, but that’s just who he is: too relaxed in any situation.  On the surface, at least.
  • As the only humans in the Devildom, some of the night is probably spent reminiscing on how different things tend to be here.  Solomon does feel bad that you in particular have had to make so many changes to your life and habits with no warning.  He has his magic to rely on, so he’s glad you have your reputation of “the human that made a pact with the student council” to keep demons from messing with you.
  • If you want, he’s happy to let you sleep over so that you don’t have to explain why you’re coming home so late.  He also encourages you to not say anything to your dorm mates.  Wouldn’t it be fun to make them wonder?  They’re always breathing down your neck, aren’t they?  Make them squirm a little bit.  You’re going to get a scolding for sneaking out regardless.  It’s incredibly cruel; you know they worry sick about you more than is called for.  Will you play along?  That’s up to you.  I advise you not to.
  • Like Simeon felt like he needed to second-guess everything around a bunch of demons and Solomon, Solomon sometimes feels like he needs to keep himself guarded around a bunch of demons and two literal angels.  You, however, are a human.  You have common ground, and Solomon can see how your vulnerability here translates into strength.  He’s not quite ready to admit it but, your ability to survive on character and not power is inspiring to him.  Shortly before you go home/to sleep, he mentions something about himself, and for once it seems like he’s being honest.

Barbatos:

  • You have the movie night at the House of Lamentation, under Lucifer’s promise that he’d keep everyone else busy.  It’s Barbatos’ first day off in 325 years, and he doesn’t want to take any chances of Diavolo forgetting that fact and giving him an order.
  • It may come as a surprise, but Barbatos wants nothing more than to order a pizza.  If he managed to get enough time off to have a movie night with you, he doesn’t want to have to think about preparing food.  A single night where he can just hang out and eat less than perfectly prepared cuisine is exactly what he needs to unwind.
  • Out of habit, he insists that whatever you want to watch is fine.  If you remind him that this is just as much for him as it is for you, he’ll suggest you look up what new psychological thrillers are trending.  Whenever a scary scene is playing on the screen, there’s the tiniest smile gracing his face the whole time.  It’s a little disconcerting, but something tells you that you shouldn’t bring it up.
  • If you do bring it up against all better judgement, though, he’ll explain that the villain in the film is being so messy.  Given the circumstances, it’d be better for him to do this or that.
  • “Don’t ask how I know all of this.  I’m just saying, if you find yourself with a body to dispose of, alive or not, you know who to call.”
  • Time spent with an off-duty Barbatos grows more relaxed as the night progresses.  You split the sofa 50/50, and over time you can see his posture relax from stiff and straight to leaning against the arm with his feet up.
  • Oh, yes, he’s also brought along a nice bottle of wine to share.  He made sure to get something that should affect demons and humans equally, of course.  If he’s going to get inebriated, you’re going down with him.
  • Turns out, working for the Demon Prince for all eternity gives you a few grievances.  Also turns out that the Demon Prince’s butler becomes quite loose lipped and downright snarky when he’s had enough to drink.  “‘Which flavor do you think Lucifer would like best?’  I don’t know, My Lord, might I suggest you ask him yourself?  No, no, I hear you laughing, MC!  This happens every time!”
  • There’s still a movie playing, but why would you watch a movie when Diavolo’s butler is such a gossip?  You definitely know things you shouldn’t by the time the night is over, but you swear an oath of secrecy.  And, although he regrets how liberal he was with his stories the next day, it does feel nice to have some of that off his chest.
  • And, well, he’s already gone this far, so he hopes you aren’t too surprised when you receive a text from him a week later: “Ok SO.

Diavolo:

  • You guys decide to do the movie night at the palace, mainly to avoid Lucifer.  Diavolo wants to get to know you better, and he knows that if Lucifer is around he’ll end up making you the third-wheel.
  • Barbatos is going to be around, so Diavolo leaves it up to you whether you want to make it a party of three.  (Barbatos is still in on-duty mode, of course, so his time here is much less relaxed than in his solo scenario.)
  • Diavolo’s read about movie nights in Youthful Fun 101, and he wants to try out the whole snack list.  Popcorn, pizza rolls, sodas, you name it, he’s got mountains of it.
  • If you suggest also making ice cream sundaes, he’ll be the happiest demon in the entire Devildom.  It seems that the esteemed Demon Prince really loves chocolate sauce.
  • Really really wants to watch your favorite movie.  What sort of Devildom host would he be if he didn’t get to understand the Human World from his guest’s perspective?  Whether it’s something like Gone with the Wind or something like Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2, he’s enthralled.  So this is Human World cinema!  There’s something so imaginative about it, even in the driest moments!
  • After your favorite, he’s got a checklist of iconic movies to get under his belt.  Not all of them end up holding your attention, and you develop a voting system–after the first 15 minutes, you hold a vote on whether to keep the movie going or to move on.  Since there’s only two of you, only one of you needs to like the movie to keep it going, so you give yourselves one immediate veto each.
  • Diavolo uses his veto on the first movie he wasn’t super into, and you have to keep reminding him that there’s no secret second veto that he can use.  Cut him some slack, this level of democracy is unfamiliar to the future Demon King.  He does end up really liking some of the movies he tried to avoid, so he learns to chill pretty quickly.
  • Also insists on watching the movies in a massive blanket fort.  He’s not a movie cuddler, per se, but he is an emotional movie watcher, so you can expect him to grab your arm during an especially sweet or sad scene.
  • You’re going to have to clarify what’s realistic and what isn’t sometimes.  No, that’s not a real animal.  Yes, that event really happened.  That may or may not be true, we aren’t sure.  Diavolo please this is a conspiracy theory.
  • If you thought that this wouldn’t end up in a sleepover, I don’t know what to tell you.  Maybe you just tried to watch way too many movies and passed out in the fort.  Maybe you tried to call it quits and then he gave you big puppy dog eyes until you agreed to have a slumber party.
  • Side note, but Lucifer is still recovering from seeing Diavolo’s car appear unannounced at the House of Lamentation and then being told that it’s actually here to pick you up and that he absolutely can’t come along.  Has he been replaced?

theskymahtin  asked:

I just came here purely to learn and hear all sides so please don't yell at me thanks. I'm confused because I've always heard that butch and femme are terms that describe a woman who presents and lives for women only, so what do those terms mean for a bi woman?

I’m definitely here to answer honest questions. :)

The idea that a lesbian presents and lives for women only has its counterpart, that straight and bi women live and dress for men, that our primary intention when doing things is to please men. And, well, that definitely is what many men would like to be true; it’s certainly the standard to which many women were held when my grandmother was a girl.

But resisting the idea that you should define your identity by what’s appealing to men isn’t a lesbian-exclusive thing, it’s a feminist thing. It was basically one of the first things feminists started talking about in the Second Wave of feminism in the 1950s and 60s. “Hey, men put a lot of sexist expectations on us that feel really weird and unnatural. We don’t like that. We want to define our own identities for ourselves, based on what feels useful and relevant to us.”

Theory time: Society encourages us to think of ourselves as objects, as things that other people will look at and make judgments about. We’re supposed to think, “Will Mommy think I’m being good?” and “Will my teacher think I’m a good student?” and “Will boys think I’m hot?” and “Will my employer think I’m a good worker?” In small doses, learning how to empathize with other peoples’ perspectives and understand how we come across to them is useful. But when we’re pushed to define our selves, our identities, by outside sources, we can quickly become unhealthy and alienated, made strangers to ourselves, and easier to control, abuse, and exploit.

Feminists (and other social movements) have been working to get people in touch with their subjective selves, which is to say, to be the one doing the looking and judging, not the object being looked at and judged. The goal is to define ourselves by our own value systems, and to pay attention to our own experiences, not how we’re judged by others. So that means switching to, “Am I following my own moral code?” and “Do I understand the things they’re trying to teach us?” and “Do I like the way I look?” and “Am I doing good and meaningful work?” I mean, if you want good grades or to stay employed or for someone to want to date you, it does help to consider their perspective too, but–subjectivity means power. If you have the self-confidence to define yourself, you are much harder for anyone else to take advantage of.

So as a feminist, I consider my femininity to be an expression of myself, of who I feel I am, or want to be, and what I value. I wear my hair long because I like how it feels that way. I wear clothes that make me feel comfortable. I try to dress and groom myself to look like people who, when I was a child, I saw and thought, “I want to look like that.” When I feel pretty, it means I feel as though I were someone I would see and think was pretty. If some man or woman or nonbinary person looks at me and thinks, “Wow, she’s awesome, I want to kiss her/date her/help her achieve all her dreams/build a future and have four children together” then that’s potentially great! But they’re responding to how I’ve expressed who I am. Because I was raised steeped in a feminist tradition that worked to prepare straight girls to be happy living alone if no man accepted them for who they really were, I try my best not to worry about people potentially finding me attractive, and just focus on doing the things I want to do with my life.

It can get a lot messier than that, of course. I used to have really debilitating social anxiety, where I was incredibly afraid of people seeing me negatively; it took me a lot of work and therapy to feel as self-assured as I do today. And there’s an entire, deeper question of, how did I form my basic ideals about what a good person does or what do I consider pretty or what is meaningful work? Those are all influenced by society, and not always in positive ways–for example, growing up with a beauty ideal of thin white women definitely shaped my own attitudes about what weight I want to be and what shade of skin I want to have. Not even my own standards for myself are guaranteed to be healthy and desirable, and there are times when it’s healthier for me to give up my own ideals, and accept when my friends or teachers or loved ones say I’m good enough. But that’s the system as I understand it.

In that view, I don’t actually see dressing and presenting for other women as actually necessarily more liberated than dressing and presenting for men. It’s still letting someone else’s standards determine my identity, and to a degree, my self-worth. That’s something I have to trust a person a lot to give them any input in, so random people I want to flirt with tend not to qualify. Also, women aren’t magically good at reading somebody’s mind and knowing what they’d look like at their happiest and best, so it’s likely that even if I were totally wonderful and desirable to another woman, there’s no guarantee that would be the same thing as me when I’m comfortable and doing what felt important to me.