this is the best thing jfc

8

a ship that needs more love >> emmett & rosalie cullen

I got luckier than I deserved. Emmett is everything I would have asked for if I’d known myself well enough to know what to ask for. He’s exactly the kind of person that someone like me needs. And, oddly enough, he needs me, too.

y'all i shit you not i was just in a conference with an incredibly high level commissioner for the city, like this lady deadass worked for the supreme court and took time out of her day to meet with us, and instead of paying attention to her my colleague (also super impressive, accomplished, brilliant, etc.) is literally on ao3 reading stucky fanfic under the table!!!????!!! ?? ? oh my god?????? don’t let anyone tell u fandom is not for adults i’m crying this is some next level trash

A Hairy Situation

Anon Request:  This is probably soooo typical.. But can I request a BuckyxReader where they end up having to share a bed (mission with limited sleeping space?) And she gets her hair tangled in the joints of his mechanical arm? *has long hair and wonders about this*

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Explicit Language, and you may die laughing.

Word Count: 1,488

A/N: Just, promise me you guys will tell me how hard you laughed. Because my stomach hurts. Enjoy! - x.T

Your name: submit What is this?


           You, Bucky, and Steve had all been shipped out to a seaside town in Greece. You were supposed to take down a leader of a large terrorist group that happened to be in the area. Well, you usually arrived the day before at the destination, before receiving the full set of orders the next night.

           The three of you guys had been squished into a small two bedroom house, which was fit specifically for missions. You don’t know how HQ managed to get all the tech in the house so early, but you didn’t want to know.

           After a long day of scouting stealth routes to the target, you were ready to shower and go to bed. It was hot in Greece, and being in the sun all day left you sweaty and baking in your uniform. The two soldiers came into the house smelling heavily of body sweat and something else that wasn’t very appealing to a woman’s nose.

           Steve unclipped his shield and sighed, “I’m going to shower.” He then disappeared down the hall, carrying his shield with him.

           You muttered, “Good, you smell like ass.” Bucky was downing a glass of water and managed to hear you, he choked on the water, and slammed the glass down. The water sputtered out of his mouth and into the sink, and he began coughing and laughing.

           “You okay there, Barnes?” You asked, trying not to smile as you raised your brows at him. He was leaning against the granite counter and recovering from the coughing fit he had. Bucky wiped his mouth and nodded, his eyes closed, and a huge grin on his face.

           Bucky’s voice shook, “Y-Yeah, I’m good, Y/N.” He sat up and set the glass in the sink, not trusting himself with drinking water at the moment.

           “Alright, I’m going to go change,” You pointed to the hallway, “Promise you won’t choke on water out here by yourself?”

           “Yeah, Y/N. You can go.” He rolled his eyes, and you shook your head as you made your way down the hall. At the end of the hall, there was only three doors, and one door was for the bathroom.

           You groaned, “I don’t want to share a room…” You opened the door nearest and saw that Bucky had already put his stuff on the bed, and you guessed Steve would’ve put his stuff in the other room. The real decision was who you would rather spoon. You bit your lip and decided on Bucky, because knowing Steve, he would be suffocating you against him.

           “You left your stuff on the couch.” Bucky came walking down the hall behind you with your duffel bag for the mission slung over his shoulder. He brushed past you into the room he claimed, and set the bag next to his. Bucky turned towards you, “We are sharing a room, right?”

           You nodded slowly and moved over to the bag, getting your mind off the fact that you will be sleeping next to the amazing specimen beside you, by hoping Steve saved some warm water for you. You unzipped the bag and finally replied, “Yeah, just promise me you don’t sleep naked.” You would actually really enjoy it if he was naked, but you had to keep up your façade.

           “I promise, I don’t sleep naked.” He chuckled, before he shot you a wink, “Sometimes.” You gaped at him, before lightly punching his metal arm. Bucky had a shit-eating grin on his face as he bent down and kicked his boots off, he picked them up and set them next to the nightstand. He then began unstrapping his vest and you quickly grabbed your clothes, knowing damn well that Bucky would have no shame, and get changed in front of you.

           You ducked out of the room and saw Steve’s bedroom door was closed, so you were glad he was finished in the bathroom. Locking the bathroom door, you sighed, and kicked your shoes off. You were going to enjoy this shower, before you head off to bed.


           By the time Bucky slid under the covers next to you, you were already passed out cold. He watched your peaceful form, a tender smile garnishing his features, as he took the moment to really admire you. You were vulnerable and Bucky enjoyed seeing you like this; your features slackened, your hair sprawled over the pillow, and soft snores escaping your mouth.

           Bucky leaned over to kiss your temple, before he whispered, “Goodnight, darling.” He then flipped over and let out a deep breath, allowing himself to relax, and yet hoping he would wake up with you in his arms.


           Your eyes fluttered open and you shifted, before you froze. You and Bucky had gravitated towards each other during the night, and you were tucked against his body, with his metal arm draped loosely around you. Bucky was nuzzled into your hair, his warm breath fanning over your neck, and your legs were tangled with his.

           You went to lift your head and your hair was yanked roughly, you yelped, and collapsed against Bucky. He jolted beneath you and he moved his face out of your hair. Bucky shifted his metal arm and you whimpered, “Bucky! Don’t move!” He froze and looked down at you, his face awfully close to yours.

           Bucky furrowed his brow and asked softly, “What’s wrong?”

           “My hair is stuck in your arm…” You sighed resting your head against his bare chest. He bit his lip, trying not to laugh, but his stomach kept convulsing. You knew he was struggling to stop himself from laughing at you. You groaned, “Go ahead, laugh your ass off..”

           Bucky chuckled and shook his head, “No, I can’t. I’m sorry, but how did this happen?”

           “I don’t know?” You shrugged, “I guess we sleep cuddled.”

           “You sure about that, darling?” Bucky quirked an eyebrow, and you glared up at him. He then looked at his left arm, seeing your hair knotted within the metal divots, and he visibly winced. “Let’s try and get you free.”

           Bucky clutched you to his chest, with his arm wrapped around your back, trying to help you get your hair out of the divots in his metal arm. He kept chuckling every time you made a painful yelp, when he accidentally tugged your hair too hard, and you finally slumped against his chest. The body heat between the both of you made it hot, and Bucky’s skin was clammy.

           “Buck, we might have to get Steve..” You whined, your forehead was pressed against his bare shoulder. He smiled and rested his cheek against your hair. 

           Bucky chuckled, “He’s not going to let me live this down, darling.” He rubbed your back, keeping his metal arm as still as possible for you. The metal was locked up tightly and he hadn’t been able to relax the arm.

           “Who cares at this point?” You huffed, “I already ripped half my hair out with it stuck in your damn arm.” Bucky rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

           He then shouted, “STEVE!”

           It was quiet for a few moments.

           The soldier blasted through the door, shirtless, and pant-less with his shield in hand. He looked around the room frantically for any signs of danger, before his gaze fixed onto you and Bucky clinging to each other in the bed. Steve furrowed his brow and asked, “Why did you yell for me?”

           You turned your head, wincing when your hair was being tugged, and said, “Because my hair got stuck in his metal arm and we can’t get it out.”

           Steve set his shield against the wall before a huge grin spread over his face. “Your hair. Got stuck. In his arm.” He then doubled over in laughter, and Bucky snorted.

           You glared at Steve, and snapped, “Can you just help?”

           “Yeah—Yeah, just…I’ll be right back.” He chuckled, before stumbling out of the room. You sighed and relaxed against Bucky, knowing things will be a bit different now that you had been sidled up to each other for thirty minutes straight. Possibly, all night.

           Bucky asked, “Now that we’ve been like this for a while, can I say something?”

           “Go for it, Barnes.”

           “I’m surprised you haven’t felt my boner yet.”

           “JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!” You screamed, and scrambled away from him. He threw his head back and began laughing so hard, that he didn’t even realize your hair was freed. You forgot all about what he said, and leaped off the bed, raising your arms in victory. “I’m free!”

           Steve came walking back in with a pair of scissors in his hand and stopped when he saw you standing in the middle of the room, and Bucky about pissing himself in laughter on the bed.

           You pointed at the scissors in his grasp and asked, “You were literally going to cut my hair?”

           “Yeah?”


4

“just stay, stay with me, oh won’t you lay, lay with me? let’s make a scene, oh let’s mess up the sheets, ‘cause i want nothing more, leave your morals at the door.”

oh my god this is one of the fluffiest things i’ve drawn in my entire life BUT JFC AREN’T THEY LIL CUTIES

THIS IS A VERY VERY LATE BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR @huffiestrikes I’M SORRY BUG I WAS BUSY WITH WORK ;___; but i wish you all the best anyway, much love and happiness

a slow burn ship/plot of two best friends (a “straight” one and a gay one omg) where the gay one is just really casual/nonchalant and flirts with his straight friend bc that’s just who he is and the straight friend is fine with it (bc i am NOT HERE for those homophobic types who can’t even let their friend joke around with them like jfc) and like… just eventually they get really drunk/high/etc one night and things end up happening and it’s kind of just like? a snowball effect of the straight one questioning about if he’s actually straight and then it leads to just… a cute relationship where it’s just like “we’re dating now but like before anything you’re my best friend. we might break up, or fight, or whatever, but you will always be my best friend” and just CUTE SHIPPY SHIT FAM with only a little smut thrown in (okay maybe occasionally a lot, i just want this to be more about their relationship than their sex k fam)

random headcanon time

boi ive been thinkin about this shit for the past couple days 

So, like, what if the Red lion was a total fact nerd? Everybody knows that one person who always knows some weird factoid that makes you go “huh, cool,” right?

Red is that person.

Keith thought it was interesting and neat at first when a random fact popped into his head. At first.

brown eyes are blue underneath”

“Altea had ants that breathed fire”

“A bolt of lightning is six times hotter than the sun“ 

“Cat kidneys are so efficient they can rehydrate by drinking seawater” 

“theres a planet name Zve that has two-headed humanoid beings”

But its like, constant. And eventually keith starts getting annoyed “beCAUSE JFC RED IM TRYING TO PEE I DONT NEED TO KNOW LEMONS ARE MORE ACIDIC THAN VINEGAR”

And the others just kinda laugh when Keith storms down the halls towards his hangar to apprehend his nerd of a lion. Lance thinks it the the best thing since sliced bread.

So, everyone is fully aware of this, and teases Keith about it. Sometimes asking for a random fact to just grate on his nerves.

He drags them into his hell.

Whenever Red is particularly enthusiastic about delivering these wonderful bursts of info, the angry child will recite them aloud as he receives them to whoever is closest.  

Hey, Lance. Did you know you can start a fire with ice?”

“Pidge, shrimp can only swim backwards”

“Fish can drown” “Keith plz” “Fish can drown, Hunk”

It gets even worse when hes angry or happy. The others have tried apologizing to get him to stop. 

But its too late.

And they have no idea that sometimes he pulls things out of his ass when Red is silent for once.

pelicans can’t look up”

“theres a planet ten galaxies over named HellFire- no Lance I already asked Allura we cant go there”

Red is very proud.

2

THIS WOULDN’T LET ME SLEEP, SO I SPENT MY NIGHT REDRAWING THIS. UGH. Though it looks VERY similar to the original bc I kept looking at it for reference. The original is perfect tbh, didn’t need to be redrawn but my heart wouldn’t quit and I just had to do it. God bless this anime jfc this is the best thing to happen this year

anonymous asked:

WHAT THE FUCK IS s2 OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING MAGNUS IS SO PRETTY AND SO DRAMATIC AND SO EXTRA AND THROWING PARTIES AND DID I SAY PRETTY JFC WHY IS HE SO ATTRACTIVE AND WTF IS HAPPENING ICE SCULPTURES MAGNUS WHY YOU EXTRA SON OF BITCH HELP ME IM DEAD

i’m so sorry you sent this in awhile ago and i just didn’t get around to posting it but this is the best message ever i’m as excited and confused as you are about the whole thing. magnus looks so gorgeous in that outfit everyone looks so pretty?? i can’t wait to gif footage from this party oh gosh. what if we get a balcony makeout scene?? i’m gonna die let’s talk more about this party tbh like everything else is irrelevant except how amazing this party is going to be

plus imagine:

  • magnus and alec having a private moment upstairs away from the crowd
  • magnus telling alec that he’s a good big brother to max
  • alec telling magnus that he’s really glad he was able to introduce max to magnus
  • alec saying he owes magnus one for the party that he’s so glad to have had magnus by his side throughout everything
  • magnus saying he wants to collect on that now and pulling alec onto the bed
3

they think the cats vs dogs stereotype is hilarious but roxy cant keep it goin for long bc jade cant stop waggin her damn tail and bein adorable in general. theyve probably only done this once or twice before but karkat has this condition where he refuses joy and happiness at every opportunity

i was never rly into runawaystuck the first go around bc everyone made it Dave the Bird: the AU and i can only handle so much strider but my gay furry heart cant deny This

  • SOLO Sans gets Drunk - Implied Fontcest
Play

 So, a few weekends ago, I got fucking blasted from downing almost an entire bottle of cherry vodka raw through nothing but shots. My roomie was showing me how to do them properly with her double shot glass and, uh… Practice makes perfect, right?

Anyway, she left my drunk ass after I crashed in bed to go visit her bf, thinking I was gonna pass out, but for some reason I thought, “I need to record something rn- It’s been a while”, so I did. I was originally gonna polish this up and make an actual thing out of it but intoxicated-me didn’t make sure the audio was ok in quality/consistency and I don’t like working with shit that ain’t my best, let alone posting it, but HEY FUCK IT HERE YOU GO! (editing my drunk rambling was torture jfc)

Also feel free to imagine Grillby just standing there watching the entire embarrassing exchange in silence.

Script below the cut

Keep reading

i just wanna share some audio things i love with my friends but i feel guilty for trying to get them to listen to them because they just won’t do it (eg. hamilton, the adventure zone, new albion trilogy, welcome to night vale)

Supernatural 12x11

oh my god this season is so fucking good i have no words

the post it notes purified my soul

Sam Winchester is the best person alive and i would die for him

DeanDeanDeanDeanDeanDeanDeanDeanDeanDean

no cas :/ but at least he was mentioned 

JENSEN ACKLES WHAT THE FUCK

Sam is such a good brother oh my goddddd

i hope the grenade launcher joke never dies

Rowena!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! such a fucking good character jfc 

Dean being carefree and light and soft :((((( reblog if u agree

“our best friend is an angel whaaaaaaat?” Listen this would be season 1!Deans exact reaction to this fact

why did that ending scene left me extremly unsettled like its the last good thing we’re gonna get before things get really really really bad 

buT THE RIDING SCENE THO

god my life will never know peace because Dean describes himself as “a God” at riding somthing 

i just really need to find my chill but he was literally spread over the fucking mechanical bull what the fuck

btw the promo killed me ur reblogging this from a ghost

8

Free! DUB - Episode One: Best WORST Moments

aka why i’m laughing my ass off. i was very tempted to include every time they said REEN instead of rin or sahm EHHH zuka but. that would be too much. even for me. 

EDIT: I’m super late on this lmao but i’ve uploaded the dub here for download and here to dailymotion. if you want to watch this trainwreck. Sorry for the low quality! (also. for the ppl who’re telling me the pronunciations are right: i hear you but it still sounds hilarious 2 me)