this is the best thing i've seen in a long time

The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends

(Not very original I know but I need to do something during this boring af evening)

ENFP
- cute
- childish
- full of ideas
- optimistic
- RaNdOm
-PUNS AND MEMES
- kinda geeky
-have a lot of feelings
- secretly evil

ENTJ
- ‘I wanna be the very best like no one ever waaaaas’
-natural leader
-considerate
- SO. DAMN. LUCKY
- easy going

INTP
-lazy
-smart
- can actually be very talkative if they like the subject
- PrOcRaStInAtIoN
- very funny in their own way
-trapped in their own world

ENTP
-have been told at least once in their life ‘you remind me of Barney Stinson’
-have 2000000+ projects at the same time
-actually finish like two of them
-never shut up
-can be good at everything
-but can only be excellent at bullshiting their way through life
-zero empathy
-dad jokes
-socially akward but still manage to look cool

ISTP
-take grammar way too seriously
-frank and direct
-meticulous
-witty
-look intimidating
-can actually be very affectionate if they feel like it
-strong mentally and physically
-know martial arts


ISFJ
-warm and nice
-so calm, it’s relaxing to be around them
-excellent listenners
-shaped like a friend
-have louder reactions than everyone else during movies or roller coaster rides
-don’t dislike a lot of things
-litteraly everyone like them
-easy to live with

ISFP
-FEEEEELIIIIINGS
-don’t like to be challenged
-have strong valors
-don’t understand if you don’t share said valors
-don’t overcome difficulties easily
-EXTREMELY SENSITIVE
-hate criticism, even constructive ones
-too easily offended
-moody
-trustworthy (when they like you)

INTJ
-seem cold and calculating
-make the best of friends if you take the time to know them
-snarky
-quiet
-if they don’t like you you’re dead
-have low patience
-analytical
-don’t handle feelings at all

INFJ
-MYSTERIOUS
-they know everything about you
-but you know nothing about them
-sarcasm
-take time to feel confortable around new people (like 2 years or so)
-long period of awkward silence
-(the silence is awkward for you, not them)
- people tend to like them but still think they’re 'weird’
-secretly a nerd

ESTP
-stereotype of the popular jock
-athletic af
-class clown
-perfectionists
-everyone love them
-always quoting lines from their favorite movies
-want to experience everything
-often come to class with a broken leg or something
-have the kind of humor that everyone like except NTs

ESFP
-'girl’ ESTP
-love to party
-will do stupid stuff just cause they felt like it
-will cry about said stupid things
-GOSSIP
-very loving persons
-their spiritual goddess might be Aphrodite
-loud
-funny

ESFJ
-overprotecting grandma
-will bake you cookies but will be highly offended if you’re not hungry for now
-generous, but will expect you to return the favor
-don’t like when people don’t agree with them
-don’t like to be out of their comfort zone
-can be bossy
-talkative

INFP
-full of crazy, great ideas
-bad at maths
-love to read
-RaVeNcLaW
-extremely moody
-open minded
-like to learn new stuff
-LOTS OF STRESS
-good at acting without even trying

ISTJ
-Like to follow the rules
-but is not afraid to bend them if they logically think they’re stupid
-bossy
-good student
-patient
-will glady help their classmates if they haven’t understood the lesson
-have difficulties to think out of the box
-book smart
-organized

And I don’t know any ENFJ or ESTJ. (I mostly have NTs and INFPs friends.)

Also sorry if the ISFP is a bit harsh but the ones I know drive me nuts.

This is of course not representative of all the types at all.

⇁ through the flames (and into the lava)

Originally posted by kookielife

pairing⇁Jungkook x Reader

genre⇁smut, fluff, slight humor, crack || dragon!jk, fantasy!au i guess

warnings⇁public indecency, dry humping, fingering, non-penetrative sex, cumplay, i’m sorry

word count⇁7.8k

Your boyfriend is a dragon.

Or so he claims.

or; the perks (and unexpected complications) of dating a fucking dragon

Keep reading

The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends(and probably a little insulting)

~as an INTJ

INTP
- quiet
- can make a bitch face that makes you cry
- probably thinks u stupid
- says that MBTI is shit
- fashionista
- has an ENFP friend(“ENFP no!”)
- savage
- that friend who has ultra weird ideas when drunk
- probably most adorable smile on earth
- smart
- most of the time just rising eyebrows and blinking

ENTJ
- bossy af
- prima ballerina
- she is beauty she is grace
- she will punch you in da face
- always in warm socks
- also an actress
- knows how to build things
- basically good at everything
- will shout at you if you do something wrong
- probably slept with almost all male friends

ENTP
- a n n o y i n g AF
- never shuts up
- meme queen
- so loud
- not funny jokes
- make up queen
- at least smart
- thinks she’s better than you(and maybe she is)
- if you take a sip from her mug u die
- has an ENFP slave
- kinda selfish
- another fashionista
- if she laughs the whole room laughs with her
- soooo much self confidence wow

INFP
- THAT SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE
- garbage lord
- writer buddy
- has ton of OC’s AND GAY SHIPS
- cannot into decisions
- junky food
- understands(really)
- don’t like loud people
- constant lala land
- savage without even noticing
- 4w5
- has 8 minute long video of herself eating french fries on her phone
- impressive self control
- cute laugh
- cute
- the best person to rant with

ENFP
- can’t stay in one place for a minute
- suddenly disappears in a middle of a party
- daydreaming a lot
- cheerful
- likes to drink A LOT
- too many friends
- nice for everyone ugh
- that laugh which sounds like a puppy riding a pink bicycle in a tuxedo
- can bring ENTP back to earth

ENFJ
- mom friend
- has too many friends HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE
- gonna steal your friends without even noticing
- likes fancy drinks and kitschy things
- obsessed with doggos
- sudden outbursts of anger
- hypochondriac
- really anxious when driving
- doesn’t understand a concept of a personal space

ISTJ
- another bitch face
- can rise one eyebrow HOW U DO DIS?????
- doesn’t understand memes
- smart
- lack of self confidence
- secretly hates u
- wears comfy clothes but looks so good
- has a lot of savings but hardly ever uses them
- they knows better ok? don’t even try to tell them that they are wrong
- don’t particularly like pets
- perfect teeth
- so so so smart once again
- sometimes are rather calm but sometimes… don’t ask

ESTJ
- that kid who asks too many questions during your presentation
- constant bitch face
- hot
- stingy
- falls asleep during parties
- a rant person
- bossy
- hard working
- teachers like her

ESFJ
- will help you EVEN WHEN YOU HAVENT ASKED FOR HELP
- has a lot of friends
- drinks a lot
- hard-working
- daddy’s little princess/mama’s boy
- assertive
- smoking a lot
- tells everyone what to do

ISTP
- white Kanye West
- would kill u if u did something with his shoes
- likes weird electronic genres of music I can’t even name
- on 9gag all the time
- knows all memes
- League of Legends pro player
- can make funny faces
- looks like he was angry
- black humor(especially likes jokes about Jews)
- awkward silence gains a whole new meaning

ESFP
- the whitest person I know
- “what do u meat it was sexist?? it was funny!!!!”
- only wears yellow pants
- likes PE teacher probably a little too much
- can’t find a girlfriend
- will massage your feet if u don’t watch them properly
- has stupid ideas
- likes basically every person
- drinks wine at parties even though he says that true man should drink only vodka
- don’t know when someone is mean to him

ESTP
- loud
- hey lets go to the another city and get drunk!!! because why not
- class clown
- talks about her life too much like seriously
- and also about various secretions of her body
- probably gonna end up in jail
- smart and stupid at the same time
- lazy
- has problems with concentration
- talkative
- has problems with self-esteem which she covers acting out like a douche

Don’t take this personally lol

ahumanlady  asked:

Hey! This is such a helpful account! :) do you have: A)a new heart wrenching angst? B) pining Viktor? C) college au? I've read most of the ones on your lists...whoops.

I LOVE COLLEGE AUs OMG thank you for this request! (For @ahumanlady: you can find all my angst fic rec lists here!)

Originally posted by nikforovs


College AU


centripetal force by braveten, Explicit, 60k (WIP)
Victor speaks seven languages. (Physics isn’t one of them.) Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major. LOVE this!

Perfect harmony by BlessTheBeast, Teen, 3.9k
Phichit drags Yuuri along to a party, where Yuuri promptly gets shitfaced and enthusiastically seduces Viktor, then dies of embarrassment, which seems to be inevitable in any universe these two idiots end up in. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC

Russian for Dummies by cutthroatpixie, Gen, 2.4k
“Are you a beginner?” Viktor was not a beginner. Viktor was the TA supposedly in charge of this study session. Viktor spoke Russian. Viktor was Russian. “Sure!” OMG SO CUTE

Essays and Endearments by kaizuka, Teen, 13k
A guide to romance by Katsuki Yuuri: pine after your nameless classmate for almost the entirety of one semester. Do not make eye contact, ever. Go to class, and if the stars align, it will be cancelled, and your crush will be waiting to endure your awkward attempt at small talk. THIS IS SO GOOD! Must read!

Slavonic Studies by thepossessedfangirl, Explicit, 9.4k (WIP)
Yuuri sleeps with a hot stranger the night before university begins but surprise, surprise. JUST READ THIS YOU CAN THANK ME LATER

It Doesn’t Have to be a Lie by Recesskup, Not Rated, 54k (WIP)
The pretend relationship AU where Yuuri is a shy Dance Major and Viktor is the attractive, outgoing Art/Photography Major and Phichit is the worst wingman ever. This is great!!

Kiss Me and Tell Me That I’ll See You Again by probablytooobsessedwithfiction, Teen, 19k (WIP)
When Yuuri is dragged to a party by his best friend Yuko, he doesn’t want to be there- that is until he finds himself making out with someone. The only problem is that he has no idea who he’s kissing. SLOW BURN BUT SO GOOD

Thoughtfulness at the Drama Club by MattLightwood (TanyaHarries), Gen, 2.1k
Viktor is in his last year of college and as a president of the drama club when his secretary resigns. With this place vacant, the club finds itself in big trouble until Phichit appears one day with someone that could save them… and steal Viktor’s heart. Thumbs up!

Break the Cycle by SigmundFreud, Explicit, 26k
College AU where ex boyfriends Yuuri and Victor can’t stay away from each other. LOTS of mutual pining, arguments, miscommunication, and, of course, angst. Thumbs up!

Yes, Professor? by AwkwardPotatoChild, Teen, 15k (WIP)
“Good morning! I’m Professor Viktor Nikiforov! I look forward to being with you all this semester.” Dammit! No one told me he had an accent too! And to think this was all started because I wanted some pudding! So cute!

Have You Heard? by QueenofFennoscandia, Teen,  4.7k
According to rumors, Viktor Nikiforov had been seen crying in the E building’s staircase. No one really seemed to know what was the reason, but everyone were terribly curious about it. Bonus long-haired Victor!

I will break the ice of your heart by Madlymiho, Explicit, 26k (WIP)
Yuuri is a talented but very shy student who enters in a new university for his last year. There, he meets a coldhearted and strict philosophy teacher: Viktor Nikiforov. Despite their differences, the two of them start to get closer… Thumbs up!

A Skating Scholarship by Viktorsfeet, Teen, 35k
After turning 17 and being offered a scholarship in Detroit, Yuuri packs his bags and moves across the world to pursue his skating. He can’t help but find the second-year student Viktor Nikiforov fascinating and his roommate helps him to find out more. Lovely fic!

the golden hour by wynsolstice, Teen, 7k
The photographer blinked at him before smiling brightly. Without warning, he grabbed Yuuri by the hand. His skin was smooth, and very, very warm. Biting his lip, Yuuri glanced up at him. “C'mon,” the photographer urged. “Let’s get out of this rain. I’ll treat you to coffee to make up for taking your picture and scaring you.” SO ADORABLE

Just Ice Skatey Things by personafreak, Explicit, 24k (WIP)
Victor is an eccentric foreigner revolutionizing the figure skating world, and Yuuri is just trying to survive his part-time job at the ice skating rink. Awesome college fic!

A Marriage of True Minds by Pilomela, Teen, 20k (WIP)
After his application to the doctoral program was rejected due to his incomplete entrance essay, Yuuri Katsuki scores a job running a small local bookstore. Rec’d by a follower!

anonymous asked:

hey viria i was just wondering..... maybe you might've answered this before.... but how did sasha and you first meet and got into, you know, love? im really curious (i've never fallen in love before!!) and what was your experience like? im sorry if it's too personal, but.... you were the reason i started tumblr, because i wanted to reblog your arts! i feel so happy for you!

Thank you! It’s okay, I think..I might not get too personal, but I can describe it overall:”)

So he joined our last year of the university. At first I didn’t really notice him at all? I was fairly shy, because I was surrounded with people I don’t know well enough since my group of people all joined the specialist course, while I was taking masters.

Sasha said once we were in relationship that he thought I was too cool, like i had that certain circle of people and uh. out of his league. 

So. I was shy, as I said. and when I’m shy I’m pretty quiet. At the beginning of the year I was always alone, or went off to see Tanya, or listened to the music because I wasn’t sure how to approach people. Then I kinda started to open up but still was keeping on a quiet side. It’s probably around October that Sasha started kindly teasing me? He asked a lot why I was sad, when I wasn’t, I always said it was just my neutral face. SO it all kinda started with teasing:”D

We all together (as a class) started to talk and laugh more, Sasha and me too. I am generally even more shy around guys, so at first I still couldn’t quite uh talk the way I can now. But with time we started to talk a bit more, and i wasn’t as nervous to be on my own with him (I always worried we wont be able to talk and there will be that awkward silence). He helped a lot, kinda cheered on me, I think we at some point started to flirt and one of my classmates said we have an interesting communication. Once he got sick, and I was waiting for my parents in the uni, everyone left, and Sasha kept me company. It was so easy to talk?? I think that’s kind of when it started to shift for me.

Then parents came, and my mother said that there’s a big cold (as a flu) going around, involving in people dying, and I started to worry about Sasha a lot, because he caughed very badly when we parted. So I got all my courage and wrote him to go to the doctor if he feels very bad and take care, stuff like that.

About after that we started to talk in the evenings constantly, it was like a tradition. So we talked a LOT. Eventually he got the courage to ask me out on a concert? I think the concert was just a way to do it fairly subtle:D 

We went out, I was very nervous getting ready, but when I got there I was okay, and Sasha was the one who seemed to be nervous this time:”D Still, it went out great, the concert SUCKED, but we had something to talk about on the way back home and I felt so lifted afterwards! So we started to go and see each other more and more, but we still kept it on a modest side? Like we said goodbuy and gave each other awkward high fives for A WHILE. We both are shy potatoes. But it was still perfect:”) 

Then one time Sasha asked me out to go ice skating, because I love it, even though he can’t skate. So we went there, I asked Sasha to trust me and I wanted to ride with him like I did with my cousin and other friends, but I didn’t realize Sasha is bigger than those girls, and heavier. And so I. Uh. I dropped him by accident. he felt badly and didn’t skate after that, because he hit his elbow quite bad. Kept saying it’s okay, go and skate without me, you love it, etc. But I couldn’t because I was  so worried and I felt so guilty? We left soon enough, and were just walking and went to the cafe where I has seen his arm, and it was getting very bruised and fairly swollen. And it’s his right arm and for an artist it’s not the best thing to injure.

I couldn’t stop blaming myself even though Sasha kept saying it wasn’t my fault (tho I think it kind of was), so I kept asking him how he feels, got him the medicine against swelling, and then once we parted, we still talked in the evening, and I didn’t want Sasha’s arm to hurt so I FINALLY had my reason to call him. and then we talked on the phone for the next three hours and I honestly don’t even remember much of that anymore.

Sasha later said it was when he seriously fell in love. so. Tadaa! that’s kind of it! After that it’s more personal and more domestic, so! Sorry it’s so long, but you asked for it:D

but a B99 Great British Bake Off AU

obviously this involves it being an American edition/season but that’s fine

  • all of the squad are contestants, as well as like, Doug Judy and a couple of others (maybe Figgis just for laughs idk)
  • Holt and Wuntch are the judges, Kevin and the Vulture are the presenters
  • Wuntch, weirdly, is the nice judge for the most part, cos it’s mainly just Holt she hates, Holt is the tougher judge that everyone wants a handshake off
  • they never agree on anything, coming to decisions is a NIGHTMARE which is how Kevin and the Vulture are unofficial judges behind the scenes
  • the Vulture is his usual awful self, slaps Jake’s ass off camera a lot, genuinely makes him really uncomfortable until Gina and Rosa notice at one point and threaten him until he agrees to stop
  • Kevin is the presenter who goes around and reassures people when they are freaking out
  • also he and Holt met in a baking class back in the day which is part of the reason they love baking so much (they bake together all the time at home)
  • Jake is the baker who literally has no fucking clue how he actually made it in bc he has no idea what he’s doing but somehow he just has a Knack and it always turns out amazing (with the exception of a couple of True Disasters)
  • Amy comes from a long line of amazing bakers and is hella competitive, and super meticulous with her recipes and all instructions, means she Stresses during the technicals but she does know her shit and she just has to keep reminding herself that it’s like an exam where she has to learn in advance and remember
  • Rosa relies on family recipes, says she cares about them more than the actual family members who made them, also goes with her own gut feeling (usually involves putting alcohol in the food if she’s not sure what’s missing)
  • Gina learned how to bake via trial and error and general self-discovery during a year where she was forced to stay at home and take things easy after she got hit by a bus (also usually the one putting alcohol in her food)
  • Terry loves baking for his kids and his wife and they’re his biggest fans, all of his bakes are inspired by them/done with them in mind, he gets teary on the show a lot
  • Charles is still his Foodie self, so he gets Very Intense about it all and is the one that tries all the super weird flavours
  • Hitchcock and Scully applied together and everyone’s fairly sure they just got picked for the comic relief but then occasionally one of them will actually bake something really good??
  • Jake falls in love with Amy during a peanut brownie challenge while they flirt over peanuts, he makes heart eyes at her for the whole competition after that, occasionally gets so distracted by how beautiful/adorkable she’s being that he fucks his bakes up
  • Gina falls in love with Rosa after seeing her punching her bread dough, spends the whole rest of the competition trying to pick her up, it starts to take priority over the actual baking and Kevin has Noticed and is subtly trying to help her out
  • Jake and Gina have been besties since the auditions so they start trying to help each other get their girls
  • aaand let’s not forget Doug Judy
  • aka Jake’s ex-best friend from high school, they used to be the baking bros and use cupcakes to pick up girls
  • until one day they were going for the same girl, so they both made stuff to impress her, and she said she preferred Jake’s but then Doug took the credit for them, and took her to prom only to stand her up
  • Jake has never forgotten and never forgiven
  • hasn’t made cupcakes since, too painful, too traumatic
  • which really fucks him up when they get a cupcake challenge
  • seriously like imagine him trash talking Judy and then they announce “cupcakes!!” and he does his melodramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • (you decide if he manages to nail it and beat Judy’s cupcakes yet again, or if he totally botches it bc nerves)
  • anyway at one point Jake gets the coveted Holt Handshake and he is so elated his entire life has just been made bc he has been watching the show for years and idolises him so much
  • Amy is the same and she is so horrifically jealous until Holt tries her food next and also gives her a handshake and then her and Jake just look at each other like “WHAAAT”
  • Jake comes over after and is so excited he just gives her this real big hug and it’s really Pure bc then he gets super embarrassed and awkward but she is like “oh no, he’s so cute, help I have been specifically Not Noticing That” 
  • I have no idea who wins but Peraltiago and Dianetti and Holtzner are all in love and happy at the end

basically what I’m saying is can someone with the adequate baking and GBBO knowledge please write this AU I need it desperately

master-sass-blast  asked:

Right. So. Might be mildly addicted to your 'Gods and Monsters' series. Definitely need an intervention, but I'll prolly ignore that anyway, so... anyway, can you do something with Zeus and Hera? I've always thought it was massively whack that the goddess of fidelity was with --according to Greek mythos--one of the biggest adulterers on Olympus. Definitely smelling a bit of an abusive relationship there, if you catch my drift... okay byeeeee

Hera, the young goddess of marriage and family, is only unfaithful to her husband once.

She seduces Zeus first, right as the war ends and they’re all pain and ash and thrumming with the excitement of victory. She smiles just so and touches his bloody chest, her hand pale against the dark copper of his skin and, and when he looks at her his eyes spark with the lightning he so easily commands. She is named his wife that very night, her body littered with bruises from his rough, eager hands, and she tells herself the bile at the back of her throat tastes like victory.

She is queen of the gods. This is what she wants.

They’ve all claimed their domains and gone their separate ways, Demeter to the earth, Hades to the underworld, and Hestia to Olympus where they plan to build their palace. But Poseidon still lingers. “Don’t you have an ocean to conquer?” she asks.

He looks at her, then behind her to where Zeus is busy sketching plans for Olympus. “You don’t have to do this,” he says softly, “you – you can come with me if you want. Or I’m sure Hades would take you.”

Hera has no time for Poseidon and his soft heart. “I will only belong to the best,” she says, tossing her head so her crown of curls fall over her shoulder. “You should go. You have work to do.”

“There are more important things than power,” he says uncomfortably, shifting from foot to foot.

“No,” she says, “there aren’t.”

~

Hera would not mind Zeus’s women so much if they were not constantly giving him children, something she has been unable to do.

She is an obedient wife. She does not turn her powers against him, and she’s tolerant of his mortals at first, but the longer she is empty of child the less patience she has. How can she be the goddess of family without one of her own?

Her spite gets in her way, and she hurls every kind of obstacle and curse she can at the woman her husband lies with. At first he is angry with her, and bruises litter her throat and wrists. Then, as her wrath and powers grow, he is afraid of her. He watches her warily, sneaking to the mortal realm when before he wouldn’t even try to hide it. He submits when she pins him to the bed and rides him hard, desperate for a child of his, desperate to fulfill the perfect image of wife and mother she’s built for herself.

No matter her magic, no matter how many times they lie together, Hera does not get with child.

She goes to Hestia, and her sister presses a hand to her stomach and purses her lips and says, “Must it be his child?”

Hera stares. She’s the goddess of marriage and family. She is not capable of infidelity. “I – I can’t.”

“Just once,” Hestia says, “the problem is not with you, nor with him, clearly. Only the combination of you both. Lie with any other man, and you will have your child.”

So Hera, just once, puts on a disguise and goes to the mortal realm. She finds a man with skin darker than Zeus’s, a rich warm brown that matches his soft eyes. She lies with him, and it hurts. He is kind and patient and kisses the edge of her jaw, her shoulders, her navel. But to be unfaithful grates against her very nature as a goddess, and every moment is agony. He finishes, his mouth whispering kind things against her own, and she leaves as soon as she can.

It works. She becomes round with child, and is happier than she’s been in a long time. She does not mind Zeus’s mortals, and he even becomes kinder while the baby grows inside of her. His hands become softer, and he spends less time away from Olympus.

The baby is born, and Zeus is furious.

The child is too dark to be his, and he tears it from Hera’s hands while she lies exhausted from the birth. “What do you care?” she cries, struggling to stand, “You have dozens of children. What does it matter if I have one?”

He holds the baby in one hand and grabs her jaw with the other, pulling her to her knees. “You are my wife,” he hisses, “the goddess of marriage and family. You will have my child, or no child at all.”

He throws the baby from Mount Olympus. Hera screams, pushing herself away from him and attempting to jump after it. Zeus catches her around the waist, and with a crackle of power and roar of rage, he sends a lightning bolt after the baby.

The child may have survived the fall, but not the lightning.

“NO!” Hera screeches, clawing at his arm as she struggles to escape his grasp. Normally she’s not this helpless against him, but delivering her baby has left her weaker than she’s ever been before.

He presses the flat of his hand against her swollen womb, adding pressure until she cries out in pain and tries to squirm away from him. “My child,” he repeats, voice low and terrible, “or no child at all.”

He lets her go, and she collapses, grasping out a hand over the edge of Olympus. But the blood between her thighs is still wet, and she can’t find the energy to stand. She wonders if she’ll have to crawl down the mountain to retrieve her baby’s corpse.

“Sister!” Soft hands grab her shoulder and gently roll her onto her back. Hestia’s face fills her vision, and Hera has never seen the older goddess of hearth and fire look so cold. “I’ll kill him,” she says, hands hovering over Hera like she’s not sure where to begin. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think this would happen, I didn’t think he would – I didn’t think.”

Hera curls on her side until she can place her head in her sister’s lap. She’s not sobbing anymore, she’s never been one to fall into hysterics, but she can’t stop crying, a steady stream of tears dripping silently down her face. Hestia runs trembling hands through her hair. “Don’t,” she whispers, “I did this, this is my fault. I – I should have known better.”

Hestia’s hand cup her face, leaning over so she can look her in the eye. “This is not your fault.”

Her sister stands and picks her up in her arms. Hera tries to tell her to put her down, that Zeus will be angry if she leaves, that she did this to herself. But she falls unconscious before she can get any of it out.

~

Hera awakens someplace soft and warm. She opens her eyes, and she’s inside Hades’s palace. Her confusion lasts only until her memories come rushing back, and then she has to bite her lip until it bleeds to stop herself from crying out.

“Hestia brought you here. She’s returned to Olympus to cover for you both. Do not worry – Zeus doesn’t know where you are.” She turns her head, and sees the goddess of magic at her side. Hecate smiles, “I have mended you, do not worry. All is well.”

All is not well. That statement is so far from true, and her instant urge is to crush Hecate to dust for the audacity. Before she can make up her mind one way or the other, there’s a soft knock on the door. It opens to reveal her elder brother. “I have something that belongs to you,” he says, and Here focuses on the bundle in the crook of his elbow.

Her baby’s corpse. She’s relieved someone thought to get it. Her heart feels like lead, and all the control she’d had over her emotions is gone instantly. She hopes they’ll leave her alone to hold the body of her child and weep.

Hades gingerly sits on the edge of the bed, and Hecate rises to help Hera prop herself up so she’s at least sitting. “He’s a strong little thing,” Hades says, and Hera doesn’t understand.

Then a warm, wriggling baby is placed in her arms. He’s got great big eyes and his mouth splits into a toothless grin when he sees her. “He’s alive,” she says numbly.

“Not without sacrifice,” Hecate says softly, and reaches over to undo the blanket he’s swaddled in.

Her son has no legs below his knees.

“Zeus’s lightning bolt didn’t kill him, but we cannot return what was lost,” Hades says, pained. “When he’s older, maybe we can do something, give him something in place of legs. But for now, there’s nothing I can do.”

The king of the underworld is the most powerful god after her husband. Hera knows that, even if Zeus doesn’t. If Hades can’t do anything about her son’s legs, then no can. But he’s alive, Zeus didn’t manage to kill him, and Hera finds herself so grateful that she’s holding a smiling, living child that she can’t be anything but relieved. Her son is alive, and happy. He doesn’t need legs.

“I can’t bring him back to Olympus,” she looks up at them, “Can you find someone to raise him? Someone you trust?”

She doesn’t trust anyone, so it can’t be her choosing.

“You’re going back to him?” Hecate demands, “Hestia said – but I thought for sure – you don’t have to! Don’t go back to him!”

“I must,” she holds her son to her chest, and he reaches out with chubby hands to tug at her hair. “I am the goddess of marriage, and he is my husband.”

Hecate stares, aghast. “Don’t – don’t, Hera. Please. Stay here. Hades will protect you.”

She looks up at her brother, and he raises an eyebrow. He would protect her, he would put himself in between her and Zeus’s wrath if she asked him to. But she won’t, and she thinks he knows it. She says, “I am Hera of the Heights, of Argos, of the Mound. I am the cow eyed, white armed goddess of marriage and of family. I am Hera, queen of the gods.” She looks down at her son, and her heart clenches, because for now a title that cannot be afforded to her is that of mother. “I will not abandon my dominion, nor my husband. I will return to Mount Olympus.”

“But you don’t love him,” Hecate says helplessly.

Hera stares, baffled that anyone could think her marriage had anything to do with love. “Of course not. But this isn’t about love. It’s about power.”

The goddess of magic swallows, then says, “I will raise him.”

Even Hades is surprised by that. “Hecate?”

“I will raise him,” she repeats, “He will stay with me, safe in the underworld where Zeus cannot find him, until he’s old enough and strong enough to protect himself.”

“Thank you,” Hera says, and lowers her head enough to kiss the top of her son’s head. “Tell him that I’m the one that threw him from Olympus.” When she looks up, Hades is resigned while Hecate looks on in horror. “Tell him, tell everyone. I gave birth to a hideous son, and I threw him from Olympus. His legs were crushed in the fall. I did this. Zeus tried to stop me, but could not.”

“Why?” Hecate asks.

Hera smiles down at her son, her heart full with a helpless sort of love. “So that when he ventures from the safety of the underworld, Zeus will have no reason to hurt him. So that when he comes to Olympus, Zeus will be unable to hurt him without explaining he was the one that tried to kill him in the first place.” She runs the back of her finger down his cheek, and he grabs it, his little fist holding onto her. “Blame me, and he will be safe.”

Hecate looks like she wants to argue. Hades puts a hand on her shoulder and asks Hera, “What’s his name?”

Her son smiles, and tugs at her hand, the beginnings of a giggle gurgling in his throat.

“His name is Hephaestus.”

~

When she returns, she no longer has any patience for Zeus’s mortals. When before she had only inconvenienced them, now she’s not playing any games. Those that do not die end up wishing they had, and she’s especially vindictive to any mortal carrying her husband’s child.

She sits on her throne, waiting, a smirk curled around the corner of her lips.

Zeus barges in and charges towards her. He’s so angry smoke is rising off his skin. “You,” he hisses, “this is your doing.”

“Whatever do you mean?” she asks, unflinching when he slams his hands on either side of her head, crushing the back of her throne with the force of it.

“She and the children are dead,” he snarls, “my children are dead! I know this is your doing, it reeks of your handiwork.”

Hera slides forward to the edge of her throne, their faces nearly touching, and spreads her legs. He flexes his hands, because even at his most furious he still wants her. She is his wife and his queen. She banishes her clothing so she’s spread out before him, hair piled high and jewelry glinting around her neck. “What are you going to do about it?”

He kisses her hard enough to bruise, and Hera crosses her legs around his back, urging him closer. “Why are you doing this?” he hisses, mouthing at her neck, because he hates her even as he loves her, hates her because he loves her, and loves her because he hates her.

She waits until he’s inside her to lick the shell of his ear and whisper, “My child, or no child at all, husband.”

When he breaks her skin with his teeth, she only laughs.

They do this to each other. Maybe they are meant to be together.


gods and monsters series part xv

read more from the gods and monsters series here

anonymous asked:

Hello friend! Although I've been practicing in digital art for almost 3 years, I'm never completely satisfied by the result of my works. I usually never like the coloring. And from what I've seen you have the most unique and beautiful coloring style. So, I wanted to ask you, how did you find it? How did you expirement and settled in this style? Thank you for your time!

!!!! Thank you so much! ;v; 

We’ll start with ygo !!  because everything else before that is Dark Past and absolutely terrifying Never Again

early 2015, I used to try doing semirealistic art because artists like jiyu-kaze, artgerm, and sakimichan
the last piece took probably 2 weeks???? it was painful lmao

I used to do the thing where you painted everything in grayscale first and then used a bunch of layer modes to layer colors on top, inspired by this, and it carried over to my tg art. it would take maybe long time to finish anything because I didn’t really know how to use it correctly. 

 Then my style started off being inspired by sui-zakki  (the author of tg), especially these pieces xx, x

I switched to using base colors after a while and tried to paint the way ishida did. I really liked the way that his art wasn’t exactly smooth?? or that you could still see the edges of each color next to each other… the colors looked really sharp and abstract. You could say this is the start of the style I have right now <:
Along with base colors, I used a lot of lumi & shade layers to add highlights and shadows. My backgrounds were usually a lot softer and sort of random at the time (I think you can see my style improvement best through the way I drew/colored my backgrounds ‘v’ )

Around 2016ish, the colors I used were lighter because I used less lumi & shade and used more on overlay and multiply layers (this is what I do now) or by coloring with only changes in opacity (this was mostly influenced by ammeja). There’s the prominent geometric edges or whatever in my colors because I started using a more square-ish brush for everything and I really liked how it looked when the colors weren’t seamlessly blended together. (the victor in the center was my first yoi fan art, he looks so different now asjdfjgjgjgjf :’> )

I color in a more blocky/geometric style, and instead of painting my pieces and smoothing them out like the ones above, I just stuck with sketches/lineart (this old tg piece is the one that got me to stick to lineart).
My coloring was mainly influenced by barachan, lanxin, and seventypercentethanol, and their pieces like xx, x
yahoberries (I love her art so much you don’t understand) influenced my blue/white outlines as well as the stray blob of colors that I sometimes don’t erase around my art
I really like crystal/gem-looking colors, and having geometric shapes as highlights or shades looked pretty cool too, so that’s how my style happened <3

glassslippers-and-tinywhiskers  asked:

Could you discuss delayed desexing and the alternatives like an ovary sparing procedure? It seems clear that in breeds like the GSD it benefits their health, but do we know much in regard to smaller breeds? (I know this topic can be controversial so if you'd prefer not to delve into it, or already have I understand) Also I've been loving the breed posts, thank you for taking the time to write them up!

I don’t at all mind discussing the topic when everyone remains civil about it. It’s very interesting and an aspect of veterinary medicine that’s bound to change as we gather more information. I’m happy to discuss it as long as all participants refrain from making personal insults.

It’s a long discussion folks. I’d grab a cuppa tea if that’s your thing. Also, unfortunately I can’t hide it under a ‘read more’ because it’s an answer to an ask, and Tumblr will eat the hidden part if I do. I will try to make it look pretty if you’re not interested.

Traditionally in dogs we have performed desexing (spey) by performing an ovariohysterrectomy, removing both ovaries and the uterus. Some alternatives have been suggested including tubal ligation, hysterectomy (removing only the uterus), ovariectomy (removing only the ovaries) or doing nothing. This is good. Science as a process should periodically review data, question the knowledge base and make recommendations based on new research. Otherwise it’s just dogma.

I don’t think you can claim that it is ‘clear’ that leaving the ovaries benefits the health of breeds like the GSD. The practice is still controversial at best, with some veterinarians outright labeling it at malpractice. There is some breed variability in terms of what relative benefits and risks might be expected, but I really wouldn’t call it ‘clear’.

Originally posted by wolfyoubemyvalentine

Before I talk about various cancer risks, let’s talk about relative risks of non-cancerous conditions.

With an ovariohysterectomy (traditional spey)that is properly performed, there is zero risk of pyometra. Stump pyo can occur if remnants of the uterus or ovaries are left behind. Cruciate tears are affected by multiple factors, but desexed dogs seem more prone to them than entire dogs. Weight gain and obesity is more common in desexed dogs.

The relative risk of pyometra in non-desexed dogs is about 25%. Risks typically increase with age.

With an ovary sparing spey (hysterectomy), only the uterus is removed. Pregnancy is prevented. Pyometra can still occur if any uterine or cervix tissue remains (a stump pyo). With the apparent influence of oestrogen, these dogs may be less at risk of cruciate disease and are less at risk of obesity.

With an ovariectomy, only the ovaries are removed. This renders the dog infertile and removes the influence of oestrogen. The uterus will atrophy and shrink down without stimulation from female hormones, rendering the risk of pyometra basically zero. It may still increase the risk of obesity and cruciate disease like the traditional spey.

Considering that pyometra is often lethal, while cruciate disease is painful but treatable, personally I would err on the side of preventing pyometra. Also keep in mind that obesity in dogs can be moderated with owner control of the diet, and obesity will predispose to cruciate injury. I would recommend removing at least the ovaries.

Male dogs have less surgical options. Vasectomy can be considered, but these dogs are basically entire but infertile.

An entire male dog is more at risk of perineal hernia, benign prostatic hyperplasia, perianal adenoma and inter-male aggression. A castrated male dog is relatively more at risk of, again, obesity, cruciate ligament disease, and possibly diabetes.

With the information above, and I haven’t brought cancers into the equation yet, you might wonder of preventing obesity in desexed dogs might reduce the incidence of cruciate disease and subsequently other conditions that we know are more common in obese dogs, namely cruciate ligament disease and diabetes. You might conclude that there is little benefit to leaving a dog entire if you’re able to control its weight.

I think that’s a reasonable assumption so far, though it’s clear to me that the benefits of traditional desexing are more pronounced in females.

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

Now lets talk about cancers.

There are multiple types of cancer. Some are more devastating than others. Some are more common than others. In terms of highly malignant cancers that show up relatively commonly in dogs, the ones we talk most about, and of most interest in this topic, are mammary cancer, haemangiosarcoma (HSARC), Mast Cell Tumor (MCT) and osteosarcoma (OSC).

  • Mammary cancer is extremely common in entire female dogs. In European countries where prophylactic desexing is not routinely performed mammary tumours make up 50-70% of all cancers seen. They are relatively rare in countries with a high desexing rate but extremely predictable in dogs desexed late in life or not at all. Speying earlier appears more protective compared to being left entire: speying before the first heat reduces risk to 0.05%, before second heat to 8%, and before 3rd heat to 26%. after the third heat there is negligible reduction in risk of mammary cancer compared to intact dogs.
  • Osteosarcoma may be three times (3x) more common in desexed large breed dogs.
  • Mast Cell Tumors maybe up to three times (3x) more common in desexed dogs of certain breeds. Lymphoma may be up to 10% more common in desexed dogs of certain breeds.
  • Haemangiosarcoma may be more common in neutered dogs of some breeds, but less common in neutered dogs of other breeds.

There isn’t much consensus across ALL dog breeds in ALL situations. There are numerous retrospective studies, and more coming out all the time (Science!) but more data needs to be analysed.

What is fairly clear is that there is a dramatic reduction in otherwise common mammary cancers by early desexing of females. There is probably some benefit in reducing other cancer risks to later desexng, or not desexing, dogs also.

So do you? Or don’t you?

There’s certainly more incentive to desex female dogs, as even pyometra on its own is a sneaky, life threatening condition. I recommend desexing most female dogs in their senior years if they haven’t already been done for this reason alone.

Assuming you do chose to desex, and I’m talking about procedures that involve at least removal of the gonads, it becomes a matter of when. If you don’t remove the ovaries then you have no benefits from desexing other than infertility. There’s no significant benefit in leaving the ovaries compared to leaving the dog entire.

For a small dog, OSC is incredibly rare. HSARC is rare. MCT can happen to anything. We weight up those relatively low risks compared to the very high risk of mammary cancer and pyometra, and I would advise speying before the first heat. With males timing is not as critical unless behavioural factors are involved.

For a larger dog, I personally think it’s worth delaying desexing to between the first and second heat. I would get too nervous about mammary cancers to wait beyond the second heat but there may be some benefit in preventing osteosarcoma by delaying surgery until more skeletal maturity, and same for cruciate injuries.

(I have a theory that osteosarcoma occurs in its predilection sites due to increased bio-mechanical forces in these areas, so waiting for skeletal maturity before removing the gonads might be helpful.)

On the other hand, screening for hip dysplasia and desexing if the dog definitely has it so you can perform a JPS also has benefits, because you’re addressing pathology the dog definitely has right now.

There are so many unknowns in these hypothetical scenarios. This makes it a challenge to make recommendations when clients just want the ‘right’ answer.

The best plan for the individual dog may depend on breed or breed mix (genetic testing would be ideal, but an added cost) or any known predispositions within the family or bloodlines.

So, this explanation is getting rather long, but there’s so much interesting information on this topic and it’s growing all the time.

Originally posted by mensweardog

TL:DR there is probably a benefit to delayed desexing in dogs prone to OSC, cruciate injury and HSARC. Some of the other risks may be mitigated by weight control. There is minimal if any benefit, and definitely some risk, in delaying desexing for small breeds.

But this field may change as more information is gathered. It will be worth watching over the next decade.

NB: shelters and rescues will always desex as young as possible, because their primary aim is population control. They are justified in doing this and their cases shouldn’t be considered in these scenarios.

(Majority of these statistics come from ‘The spay/neuter controversy’ presented at the OVMA by John Berg, DVM, DACVS and ‘ Long-term health effects of neutering dogs: comparison of Labrador Retrievers with Golden Retrievers‘ by Hart, Hart, et al)

Dr Ferox’s writing time is brought to you by her supporters on Patreon. You can support the blog from as little as $1 a month.

An overdue list of my favourite pieces and fic writers! The following is a collection of Jungkook x reader fics. A big thank you to all the fic writers included for inspiring me and above all sharing such amazing stories!

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Bakushima/Kiribaku could be canon

Well okay, first of all I’m not that kind of big dreamer who thinks this really is gonna become canon ‘cause… not. Let’s be real, this is a shonen manga, read by a majority of teenage boys, and therefore, explicit shonen ai will never occur (hope i’m wrong).

If Horikoshi sensei was gonna make a m/m ship canon, probably he would start receiving some hate from his fans, which is pretty sad.

But on the other hand, implicit insinuation may occur, and I think that’s already happening. I’m gonna try to lay up some very canon moments beacuse Kirishima/Bakugou it’s just so great… <3

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

imo, the fact that louis is stuck is why harry has this kind of leeway. or the other way around. no matter. it's just sad for the both of them, and esp louis whose team does not care about him, but just the stunts around him. in this lt001, i'll just blast the music, so the others would just be background noise.

Eh, I don’t agree with your first sentence. Harry has ALWAYS been able to play fast and loose with ambiguous quotes about his sexuality, gay innuendo, eccentric and feminine fashion choices, and so on…and actually, his allowance for that has increased over time. In direct contrast, Louis has been allowed to venture into those things less and less as the years have passed. I think the difference lies not in how their teams are playing off each other (I don’t think Harry is able to have more “gay” interviews because of Louis’ ironclad closet), but in how their own respective closets have always been different from one another. Harry was cemented as a womanizer so early on that he’s able to put minimal effort into reinforcing his closet because other people do the work for him. As we saw today, he can act gay as fuck and there will still be a huge defense squad claiming that he’s straight, claiming that he’s just joking around, claiming that he’s a huge advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and that’s all it is, claiming that he’s a true man in touch with his feminine side, claiming that he’s a straight man who’s not afraid to have fun and reject stereotypes, etc.

With Louis……it’s never ever been like that. He was super flamboyant and read as gay automatically to SO MANY PEOPLE back in the day, and over time, they’ve attempted to extinguish so many aspects of his true identity or shove them behind closed doors, and it continues to this day. People rave about so many of Harry’s photoshoots and fashion choices, and while I don’t think Louis would make the same choices in most cases because he’s his own person with his own distinct personality and fashion sense, when people try to make comparisons or act like Harry and Louis are so different because of the images they portray to the public, sometimes I just want to be like……do you guys really not realize that Louis would NEVER in a million years be allowed to do anything that veers even slightly from the hypermasculine, laddy, I’m-all-about-my-girl image they’ve been fine-tuning for years? Louis would NEVER be allowed to wear the clothing that Harry wore in Another Man or even Rolling Stone. Louis would NEVER be allowed to reject a model and get turned on by a man in an interview and then chuckle about it with the gay radio host and his stylist. His closet is so different from Harry’s, and it’s been that way for a long fucking time. And I’m not minimizing what Harry’s been through - his closet is less strict now, sure, but he’s been through some serious shit and what the media and fans do to him on a near daily basis with their het fantasies and linking him with every woman on the planet….it’s disgusting. But I feel like for a fandom that talks endlessly about how terrible their closets are, a lot of people don’t realize how much they’ve all bought the distinct images of both Harry and Louis in certain ways, despite the fact that both are at best, somewhat, and at worst, completely dictated by how different their closets are and always have been.

With Louis, it’s not just about the baby, or Eleanor. It’s everything. It’s years and years worth of publicly erasing his genuine self and making him little more than a shell of masculinity supported by his fake baby and fake girlfriend, with a career and family life and friendships and charity work and personality that always, always, always come second to everything straight about him. With the Observer, I had so much hope that this promo would show more of HIM, who he actually is, a dynamic and fascinating and lovely person, but then I see how things are going, and I look at how differently some things have gone for Harry, and then I realize that this is just going to be more of the same for Louis. And I don’t understand why and I don’t think I ever will, but it’s terrible to watch. It’s sad and so frustrating, but I won’t stop wanting better for him anytime soon.

  • Me: *sigh*
  • Cashier: What's wrong?
  • Me: It's the scent of this place. It's nostalgic. Reminds me of lavender scent of my grandmother's house. Even color of the walls remind me of the bygone era of my childhood; the dim sunsets of a fuzzy summer evenings, and faint memory of fading dreams.
  • Cashier: Ah, you want to start all over do you? I know the feeling. It's enough to drive me to the brink.
  • Me: Verily. At some point, I began to live my life in retrospect. The now doesn't matter anymore because everything has become so bland. What am I to do in this monotonous life when my happy times passed so long ago. It's as if-
  • Cashier: *turns into a 9 foot tall vibrating metal cube that deconstructs me at a molecular level and turns me into pure radium powder*
  • Guy, with that as fetish who actually wrote this post: *doesn't even jack it just looks at the screen all sweaty and breathing heavily*
  • Girlfriend: *walks into the room unannounced* Everything okay? You've been acting kind of strange recently.
  • Guy: *quickly closes all tabs* Oh, nothing. I'm just like. I'm... you know. I've been tired.
  • Girlfriend: *suspiciously* ...sure. Pizza's here by the way.
  • Guy: Okay, cool. I'll be right out. *wipes sweat from head*
  • Girlfriend: *texts best friend* He's definitely cheating. He just closed like twenty tabs on his computer!!!!!!!
  • Best Friend: Did you look through his browsing history?
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, it's all wikipedia pages about radioactive stuff. It's so fucking weird. He's either cheating or a terrorist.
  • Best Friend: That's creepy. I'd break up with him.
  • Girlfriend: I've been considering it, but it's complicated. I still feel so strongly about him. I don't want to ruin our relationship.
  • Best Friend: Sometimes you have to break things off with the people you care about the most. For a little bit anyway.
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, I get that. It's so hard though. I can't imagine life without him.
  • Best Friend: You have to do what you have to do. It's the only way to move forward. Getting stuck in a stagnant relationship can ruin you.
  • Girlfriend: I guess you're right...
  • Best Friend: *is wearing a full hazmat suit.*
  • Doctor: *walks up behind her* Jennifer, stop texting. We need you in the bottom.
  • Best Friend: Sorry, got it.
  • Best Friend: *descends in elevator, sees 9 foot tall humanoid ant corpse on the ground* Fucking gross! Do you know where it came from.
  • Doctor: No clue. It's why we called you here.
  • Best Friend: This isn't like any cryptid I've ever seen. It must be extraterrestrial in origin. Wait... is its body full of gummy worms? *hears the sound of the elevator going up behind her*
  • Best Friend: Doctor! Where are you going!? What the fuck!?
  • Doctor: Waves to her from the elevator.
  • Ant Humanoids: *appear from the shadows in the hundreds*
  • Best Friend: No, no, no, no! This can't be happening.
  • Ant Humanoids: *surround her*
  • Best Friend: Don't fucking come near me! I'm highly radioactive! You'll all die if you eat me.
  • Ant Humanoid in the back: *listening to comic book podcast*
  • Podcast Guy 1: So when it comes to Superman, I feel like there are actually two characters. Clark Kent, the man. Then there's Superman, the ideal. They're the same person but represent very different aspects of him.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Comic books are fucking stupid, my dude. *cellphone buzzes* Hold up, I gotta take this.
  • Podcast Guy 2: *gets an alert that his favorite fetish forum has updated, licks lips fuckingly*
  • Podcast Guy 2: *under breath* Oh yeah. A new radium dust sexual fanfic. Can't wait to tweak my noodle to this! Zoo wee mama!
  • Podcast Guy 1: What did you just say.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Nothing, man. We were talking about Superman. Let's continue with that.
  • Podcast Guy 1: Yeah, as I was saying. Superman would definitely be a power bottom and

anonymous asked:

I've seen you say a couple times that you don't see or that you're disabled. Do you mind talking about it? I ask because I am an aspiring writer and it is really hard for me. I wanted to know how you managed or what it was like?

I don’t mind talking about it. It’s something that made me who I am.

When I was about 12, my health sort of started to eat itself. I suddenly had a ton of allergies, and there were days I couldn’t get out of bed. I got sick all the time. In freshman year of high school, I suddenly couldn’t see. For a long time a thing had been going on in my eyes, but I guess I didn’t think it was abnormal until it made it impossible for me to see. Basically this hole was kind of growing in my eyes, but it was more like a rainbow.

When I started having trouble with colors and detail vision, my mom freaked out a bit, because at the time, I was an award winning artist who had ideas of going to college for art. Then I started tripping over things, hitting my head, having trouble with depth perception. Then I got sick, and I mean sick.

I spent about 23 hours a day in bed. I had almost constant migraines. I had pain in my entire body. My skin turned yellow. I went to every kind of doctor you can think of and was tested for everything there is. One day, I had about 12 vials of blood drawn. No one knew what was wrong. The eyes weren’t that big a deal at first, because it seemed like I might have something really serious. The first couple of eye doctors I went to kind of looked at me and said “Oh it’s nothing big.” I actually had one guy tell me that my brain was just shutting off my eyes because I wasn’t using them properly. Yeah.

Then finally, my mom took me to a friend of our family who happened to be an eye surgeon. She did a free exam. I’ll never forget it because it was the first time anyone believed me. I’d been told by doctor after doctor that there was nothing wrong with me. I’d been referred to therapists, told I needed depression meds, told I was just going through a phase or needed attention. Then this doctor put on her head gear, looked into my eyes…took off the head gear…got new head gear…looked into my eyes…took off the headgear…got hand held tools…looked into my eyes…and then stared at me with her mouth hanging open.

“I can’t see the back of your eye,” she said. And suddenly the world simultaneously healed itself and flipped upside-fucking-down for me.

Then it was all about my eyes, the one symptom we could see happening. The one that was the most dangerous. But by then it was too late.

What happened is pretty simple: I apparently have some weird recessive DNA. It triggers certain bizarre immune issues at puberty. My immune system decided to attack my body. The eyes are a delicately balanced system. They show symptoms first. My immune system attacked them with a vengeance. They swelled up like balloons. Normal eye pressure is about 14-17. Mine was at a 22 at its best. It put a tremendous amount of pressure on my Retina, specifically my macula, cutting off blood flow like when you sit on your foot. You know those little shadowy things that float across your eyes? They’re called protein floaters. My eyes had produced so many of those that the doctor could not see through them. It was a fog.

They had to find a way to map my eye, to track the damage. Cue the eye exam from hell. I have always been, even before my autoimmune disorder, deathly allergic to melon. Any kind of melon. But now I was allergic to all sorts of shit, fruits vegetables, all kinds of crap. My dad is allergic to contrast dyes. So when the retinologist suggested this dye-based eye exam that is kind of like a CAT scan, my mom said “no”. See, they inject you with this dye and then they flash this weird light in your eyes. It causes the dye to glow, and then they can see the things through the fog. My mom told them I was too sensitive to stuff for that to be safe. The doc assured her they’d put a butterfly in my arm, meaning the vein would be kept open, and a syringe of benedryl was set on the counter. They’d never had anyone react, and they needed the pictures or there was nowhere to go from there.

So they put this dye into me, and it was like I’d been injected with fire, but there was no way around it, and to me, I knew they only had about 90 seconds to get the images they needed. So I sucked it up. finally the burning began to spread. Suddenly my back felt like I was being stabbed, and I suddenly couldn’t speak. I tapped my hands on my mom, then began sneezing spontaneously. My mom lifted my shirt, and I had quarter-sized hives. The nurse said “Stop sneezing on the camera”. Yeah.

My mom went ballistic. The doctor flew up the stairs and gave me the emergency meds. I slid into a dissociation state and nearly out of my chair. They had to prop me against the camera for the next couple minutes and reinject the dye. No other way, you see.

They did this test every few months for a few years.

But then there was treatment. Not much they could do, except try to get the swelling under control. Only way to do that was corticosteroid injections in the eye. Yup. A needle in the eye. No, they don’t knock you out. They numb the surface of the eye with the same numbing drops they give you for the exams and then they come at you with a needle, tell you to look down and to hold still. And you fucking do.

I was 15 when that started.

I went to experimental clinics, labs, and joined studies. I dropped out of those. Why? It’s pretty simple. The first day I came to the exams, I was kept waiting for over two hours. I was taken into a room. I was left there. No information, no talking. Suddenly a man came in followed by a group of people, all in lab coats. He started moving me around like I was a doll and talking like, “The patient presents with…the patient this, the patient that…”

I shoved him back and said, “The patient’s name is Kristina, and she is 16.”

He finished his exam, and when he left, after the students had gone, he took two Q-tips, dipped them in that pink shit your dentist uses to swab your gums before an injection, and SHOVED them under my eyelids with a cocky smirk.

The patient will never be an snotty little bitch again, I guess.

So yeah. Fuck those guys. They gave me two injections in one day, which no one had ever done before, because it was almost impossible to function with two pimple-like bubbles on your eyeballs.

Still my health was bad. Then all of a sudden, when my mom had given up, It just wasn’t anymore. Suddenly, I was fine, and all that was left were the eyes. I went back to school, except now I was blind.

In a few months, I’d lost about 80% of my perfect vision. I was photophobic. I got horrible and constant headaches. I walked with a cane. And not a single fucking teacher believed me, except my civics teacher, who had gone blind at a young age due to some other weird eye disorder, and my physics teacher who was deaf. I had teachers send me to the office for wearing my sunglasses (with a note on file). I had teachers get on my case about having an audio recorder and CD player for my books. I had teachers call me names, make fun of me, make me leave class to photocopy their notes larger, so that I missed the lecture the notes were on. I had teachers take my medications which had to be in my possession because of their time-sensitive nature and constant administration and hide them in their desks as punishment for asking questions or demanding help. I had classmates pick on me, but luckily, I was well-liked, and I was an officer in the ROTC. I even excelled there in spite of my vision, because my Captain believed in my leadership skills.

I always tell this story because I think it is funny. We had this special boot camp we got to go to if we were in the upper ranks of the ROTC. If you joined the military after high school (which I could never do) you got a higher paygrade for having gone through it. Almost like taking a couple JC classes in the military. It was grueling and all physical fitness, obstacle courses, PT, classes, guard duty…fucking blah. Our unit was allowed six participants. I sort of figured that it wasn’t really fair for me to go, even with my high rank (a company XO). To my complete fucking shock, my Captain recommended me to go, cutting out a classmate (and ex) of mine who was higher in rank. The boy went ape-shit. He went on and on about how unfair it was. He even went to the school board. My Captain made his reasons clear; he told them that the academy isn’t about military sponsorship. It’s about skills and quality. He didn’t care if I had a disability. In his eyes I had more innate ability than anyone there because I had worked so hard just to be where I was. The boy was angry. I told my Captain I appreciated the gesture, but honestly, we ought to make it fair. I told him that we should train to meet the PT standards, and that if this kid could make his, but i couldn’t make mine, he should go. I made mine. He didn’t. He complained about that too. At the last minute, we were told one extra person could come because another school had lost one. So he came anyway. The whole time he bitched about me being there. When I got there, the real military officers gave me shit like you wouldn’t believe, because they weren’t used to dealing with disabilities or recognizing that they can’t discriminate against high schoolers by law. The commander of the unit tried to dress me down in front of everybody for wearing sunglasses. I was pretty pleased with myself for telling him off but still sounding respectful. He kept saying “Take off my glasses”. I told him they weren’t his. They were mine, by law, and that if he had a problem with that, he could consult my attorney, the DOJ, and the doctor who prescribed them. He tried to fuck with me. I didn’t say anything except to ask him if he wanted me to have a migraine, because that’s what taking the glasses off means. He was so confused by me he walked away and called my Captain over. There were words. After that, he came up to me once or twice, almost like a test, to ask me if I needed him to slow down or if I was getting around alright. He wasn’t being nice. He was egging me in a condescending tone and with very bullying language. He’s a drill instructor, and you know what, that’s his job. I told him I was fine. But I made a decision: I wasn’t just going to make the female PT marks. I was going to test out of this fucking place at the male PT marks. And I fucking did. That boy…had an asthma attack on the track (I had asthma too, but I worked my ass off while he coasted on his “boyness”) and failed. At the certificate ceremony, the commander came up to me and said I had really impressed him, and that it was a shame I couldn’t enter the Navy. I thanked him, but what I wanted to say was, “Go fuck yourself and take the NAVY with you”. I ended up the Battalion XO Senior year. This would have given me a guaranteed spot in Westpoint if I could have taken it. My Captain cried when he told me he was sorry he had to give it to one of our Company XO’s. I told him that it was best for everyone, because I am not the type of person to enjoy taking orders. I had learned that about myself.

He laughed.

Around Junior year I got people to pay attention. My doctors got the DOJ and the Social Security people involved. A woman came to my school and enforced compliance in a tone of voice I’d never heard anyone but my mother use. She threatened to rain brimstone down on them if they didn’t give me what I needed, and things changed.

My parents wanted me to take a full scholarship to a local school, but I wanted to get away. So I did. I wanted to travel abroad, so i did. And when I was 19, they perfected one of the surgeries they had been working on the entire time I’d been struggling with this.

See, the injections had brought and kept the swelling down, but that meant that the fog was still there (since ocular fluid doesn’t replace), and the structures in the eye had been stretched all to shit, and were laying in my eye like melted plastic wrap. The old surgery was like a blind man hacking with a machete, but the new surgery used fluorescent dyes to track movement. Dyes that wouldn’t kill me. The old surgery had a 50-50 shot at complete loss of vision and made you lay on your face for three weeks. The new was fool proof and took 45 minutes. So, I got one eye done. They swapped out all the fluid and replaced it with saline. They peeled the distorted membrane off the macula. They stitched up my eyeball and gave me a sick metal eye patch. Looked like a fucking space pirate. It was rad.

But the blind spot is still there. The cataracts caused by the steroids are still there. The scars are there.

A few years later I had the other one done too.

My college was great. It took a lot of work getting all my reading done, about 500 pages minimum, per week, done via audio. I used to spend hours at the pool table in our residence hall, listening to my books and practicing. I got pret damn good too, at pool. It was difficult taking notes or working with a note taker. It was scary traveling by myself. It was hard to get people to understand there wasn’t anything WRONG with me. Just that my eyes don’t work even though it seems like I’m normal and fine, and like they should. People always think to be legally blind you have to be completely blind, and they think you’re not going to be able to defend yourself. I’ve been targeted by pickpockets. I’ve been followed by scary dudes. I’ve been treated like shit, laughed at, and accused by full grown adults of faking to get privileges, all because I can look at the place where their head should be and smile at the blank spot there. All because I can walk down a flight of stairs with a few neat tricks I know that have nothing to do with a cane.

But shit…you probably didn’t mean to ask for my life story. I’m going to get back to the point. My writing. What has it done for that? Like how can you be a writer if you can’t fucking see? Technology. It’s been amazing. I can use a computer same as anyone. The Kindle has been a fucking revolution for me because for the first time in a decade and a half I could read without pain and suffering. Just…all the things it does have made life so much easier than it used to be. It got me out of bad relationships with people who used my disability as a control. It gave me a little bit of confidence back. It helped me know I could handle myself.

And really, I think my vision loss had a lot to do with my writing. In some ways it gives me different perspective, sure, but it’s more than that. I was undeclared when I entered college. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I thought about history or sociology. My mom had a degree in that and she was an English teacher. I wanted art history, but what the fuck was the point in that? Couldn’t see a damn thing. And then I had a class in poetry, and shit…That made sense. I’d always loved language and writing. Always been okay at it. Dorte stuff but never thought about doing it for a living. But then it was like yeah…yeah I’m gonna fucking do that. Just like when I decided to meet the male PT standards.

If it is in you. If you love it. If it defines you and possesses you, it does not matter how fucked up you are. You will find a way. You don’t have a choice. You are that thing. And you’ll adapt. You just have to let yourself. You have to keep pushing. You have to learn how to handle frustration. you have to train yourself into stamina. You just keep going. I’m nowhere near as successful as I want to be. I’m still going. I hope I get even better. I hope I can say things that make truth more obvious, or that help people put words to things they have always wanted to say.

I don’t need my eyes to be a fucking firestorm. That’s just me. Eyes don’t mean shit.

So keep going. Keep doing whatever you need to. Do it better and better. Bend yourself around it. People who see you struggle will think they’re lucky, but you and I know the truth: they’re not even close to the kind of strong you are. Not even a little bit.

anonymous asked:

hello! i don't think i've requested this before (please forgive me if i have!!), but could i request a sort of "friends to lovers" au with joshua from svt? thank you so much for your time!

find friends - to - lover!seungcheol (here)

  • you and joshua met at summer camp in middle school because you two were the only kids who actually read books on the bus ride to and from the camp ground
  • and literally all the other kids spent the time playing games or shouting but nope. you and joshua sat by each other, silently, reading
  • and you two,,,,,,just kinda naturally became a duo,,,,,,,like you were always partners for sporting events and helped each other during arts and crafts
  • and it was cute,,,,,,,,all the counselors thought you guys were adorable and the other kids would call you the shy couple but you and joshua,,,,like,,,,,,,you just became inseparable
  • and throughout the years you supported each other as friends until you know,,,,,,you guys started to come out of being shy and stuff and funnily enough you and joshua got into the habit of being like sorta competitive when it came to school
  • and you guys just got inside jokes about out-doing the other person,,,,but like all in good fun??? never seriously or in a mean way
  • you also gossip with each other like,,,,people see you and josh and are like woW such diligent, polite students but LOL you and him have your fair share of savageness
  • but it’s totally a bestfriend thing where you meet up to get coffee to study but in reality you spend time quizzing each other and complaining about shitty professors while also reminiscing about the past 
  • “joshua remember when you got 100 on our first chem quiz as freshmen.” 
  • “yeah, what about-”
  • “remember i got 103 because i did the extra credit (—:”
  • “,,,,,,are you really bringing that up? do i have to remind you of what else happened to us as freshmen? mainly what happened between you and that hoshi ki-”
  • “oK JOSHUA SH”
  • but as much as you’re jokingly being sarcastic with each other you truly care about each other and ,,,,,that’s why when joshua tells you he’s got extended family coming over,,,,and they’ve literally not let it go about him not being in a relationship and so,,,,,,,,if you could pleaSE just fake date him for this dinner,,,,,,,
  • you say yes,,,,because how can you say no???
  • only problem is the minute you show up the hongs are all like fiNALLY YOU Two ARE DAting,,,,,we always knew it would come to this!!!!
  • and joshua’s mom is nudging you because,,,,,,hey she’s been trying to get joshua to make a move since long before and joshua is like m OM
  • and you’re both sitting at the dinner table,,,,and yes it’s awkward but you’ve been to their house so many times that somehow??? it’s not
  • like it actually feels super,,,,,,nice and natural
  • because you know joshua and his family and even his extended family don’t seem hard to get along with at all
  • and for most of the dinner,,,,,,you forget that it’s fake
  • the smiles you and joshua share,,,,,the joking around with his parents,,,,,,,
  • it’s all something you’ve done before but ,,,, when joshua grabs your hand and brings it to his lips as a show for his family,,,,,,you can’t help but feel your heart race
  • and his lips are so warm on your skin
  • and before you know it you’re looking at joshua’s profile,,,,how pretty his eyes are,,,,,how he’s got such handsome features,,,,,, how he’s not the shy boy at camp but ,,,,,,,,, the drop dead gorgeous best friend of yours
  • who probably could date anyone,,,,,but,,,,,choose to have you by his side for this
  • and you’re like arguing with yourself because no,,,no he chose you because you’re his best friend,,,,he could trust you not to mess up in front of his family,,,,,,but then again joshua has other friends,,,,,to ask,,,,,,,,
  • and you can’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach when the dinner ends and joshua’s mom is encouraging him to walk you home
  • and you’re going along the sidewalk in silence and joshua is like “thank you for helping me tonight,,,,,,seriously they wouldn’t get off my back”
  • and you try to strain out a laugh because ahh yeah this was all a joke,,,,,,a lie,,,,,,
  • but as you get to your front door you’re like “joshua i-”
  • and he’s like “wait,,,,,,i just,,,,,,,i have a question,,,,”
  • and you’re like,,, what is it??? and he’s like “well i was thinking about how everyone was like,,,,,, talking about how they expected us to date,,,,,do you think that’s true?? that we,,,make a good couple,,,,,”
  • and joshua’s cheeks are pink,,,,eyes flicking around from you to the floor and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,oh
  • but you’re like “i mean i guess we are - we fooled everyone in your fami-”
  • but he shakes his head and he’s like “i mean,,,,,do you think we,,,,,,we could be something more?” and you’re like “,,,,,,,if i say yes will you think that’s weird?”
  • but joshua looks up and breathes a sigh of relief and he’s like no,,, not at all,,,,,,i thought i was the weird one for thinking tonight was so,,,,natural,,,,
  • and you look at him,,,,,still dressed up a bit because his mom had made him put on a tie because of formal dinner attire or whatever,,,,and the way you’ve only seen joshua flustered when he was a shy kid ,,,,, and how cute it looks on him
  • the unsure,,,,stuttery joshua,,,,,,,you’ve missed him
  • and you take a step closer to him and joshua swallows and looks down at you and you take a hold of his wrist and lean in and he closes his eyes,,,,,,,,,,
  • but you kiss his cheek and you’re like “how about we go on a real date soon,,,,,,” and joshua is like sure,,,,where??? and you shrug and you’re like “surprise me,,,,whatever you choose will be fun. im sure.” and you give him a little wave as you go inside
  • and you almost fall over yourself when the door closes because oh my god your best friend,,,,,might be your boyfriend very v e r y soon
  • and joshua is still standing frozen on the spot, hand over the spot where you kissed him because,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh my god his best friend,,,,,might be,,,,,,,the One,,,,,
A few characters that need defense squads more than Tony St@rk:

James “Rhodey” Rhodes

I’ve rarely seen Rhodey brought up outside of what he does for Tony (not who he is to Tony…). What I have seen is fandom moving goalposts so the bantery moments that make them ship Steve or Clint or Bruce with Tony are just signs of a deep and totes platonic brotherhood for Rhodey and Tony. I’ve seen fandom repeatedly ignore that Rhodey is just as intelligent as Tony (they met at MIT, you fricks) in order to paint Tony as a benevolent saint for slumming it with someone so clearly inferior. Rhodey is unimportant to Tony’s life unless he’s saving it and even then, if he’s not “nice” about not wanting to watch his best friend self destruct, he’s abusive. This is still characterization fandom holds on to after deciding that Rhodey was an awful, aggressive Black man who didn’t deserve their precious Tony~

Iris West 

”Fans” of the Flash have been championing the characters’ death and recasting since Candice Patton got the role. Her character is often subject to aggressive misogynoir (that’s what happens when anti-black racism and misogyny collide) and Candice receives racist hate so frequently that she’s had to address it in interviews. People cut Iris out of scenes in her own life (her intimate moments with Barry and conversations with other characters about the WestAllen relationship). They tell Candice how much they want Iris to die because she’s a “damsel in distress” when we’ve seen Candice kick actual ass and save herself multiple times. Oh, and they call Iris useless even though Barry said that without her, there wouldn’t be a Flash.

Sam Wilson 

Where do I start? First of all, fandom thinks that he exists to be a perpetual and literal wingman for Steve and Bucky. When they deign to give him romantic relationships with either of them, the focus is rarely on Sam as a character but on what he can do for Steve or Bucky. Then there was the “oh Tony couldn’t be a Hydra member because they killed his parents (despite him not knowing that and having a history of bad decisions), but Sam could” nonsense that so many folks cosigned following Winter Soldier. Oh and how about in the wake of Civil War, fandom has decided that T’challa is going to be their new Mammy figure for the Avengers since he’s rich and started portraying Sam as actually abusive to Bucky in fics and meta??

Finn (The Force Awakens)

Between the dudebro fans that threatened to boycott the franchise and transformative fanwork folks erasing him from his own narrative in order to give his personality, backstory, and potential ship to Kylo… I mean… shit hasn’t been easy. Finn has been called a misogynist and sexual harasser for grabbing Rey’s hand at the start of the film. He’s been reduced to a big black cock in fan fics (because fandom apparently can’t get that size kink extends beyond the penis). Oh and there’s this huge piece of meta going around basically calling him a beta male to Kylo’s alpha (which is dudebro redpi||er language, but from the supposedly “good” side of fandom)???

Nick Fury

Fandom literally sees him as a villain more evil than the actual bad guys in the MCU… Because he tells it like he is while not spilling his secrets to the lowkey incompetent people that make up the majority of the Avengers. #NickFuryLies is a thing that trended and that people see as an integral but negative part of his character. He was the head of a freaking covert intelligence organization, folks. His job is literally about keeping his secrets close to the chest. But no #NickFuryLies and Steve and/or Tony should never ever trust him. Also, as a Black character, when not vilified, he’s another Mammy figure or benefactor for the Avengers. Because Black characters are disliked until they’re useful.


I could keep going and at a later date, I just might because there are SO MANY characters of color and/or female characters that fandom as an institution treats HORRIBLY all in the process of defending white male characters like Tony St@rk (who does not need a defense squad protecting from fandom unless it’s his own because they’re the ones basically writing trauma porn and using his fictional pain against people…)

EVAK FANFICTION RECS / PART 10

Halla! So, as time comes and goes, I’m here with another masterpost of some of my favorite Evak fanfics for you guys. As you can see, I’m trying to be a bit more creative and make these posts look at least somewhat more appealing, so I hope you like this little header I made (even though I suck at Photoshop).

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics.
My personal favorites are tagged with a “ ★ ”.
Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “ ✓ ”

Without further ado, all the fanfics can be found under the cut. Enjoy!

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