this is the best thing i have done so far

i said it before in a separate post,

bex taylor-klaus is not a horrible person.

i have been a fan of @bext-k since i first saw her in scream. she dressed a way i had previously in the show, and her character was bisexual with a preference towards girls. it was something so special to me, and i was delighted to see such a humble actor behind a character i related to so much.

as i watched more interviews and found her on tumblr, i learned some really rad things about her. like me, she was jewish. it’s something she doesn’t even begin to hide, and that is really cool. she came out somewhat recently, and that was cool too. ever since, i see her helping people come to terms with who they are. i don’t think bex would do anything to hurt anyone. i think she’s a ray of sunshine and snarky positivity and i have so much respect for her.

that being said,

i don’t agree with what bex said about sheith. if you don’t believe me, search “sheith” on my blog, and you’ll see my thoughts. the post i made regarding sheith/shaladin was in an ask during the school year, before any of this started. i didn’t like sheith, i didn’t support it, and i didn’t think it was a morally sound ship. i still don’t.

but bex has said she doesn’t ship sheith. even if she did, we can no longer be at-each-other’s-throats upset. by the law, sheith is not illegal. it sucks, sure, but that is the reality now. what bex said was in retaliation to a lot of shit she had gotten. you have to remember she’s a human and she’s gonna make mistakes and say things you don’t like. just because bex is a public figure does not mean she has to be the perfect image you all clearly had of her. her joke sucked. she doesn’t. because when you look at the rest of her blog, she’s helping people with their sexuality. she’s educating herself and others on racial matters. she’s interacting with her fans in a way not a lot of celebrities do- something that we turned around on her. the ask where bex makes the sheith joke was incredibly hostile; not from her, but from the anon. it wasn’t coming from a person trying to advise her; it was someone who wanted a rise from her. you all are throwing a lot of things about her around, so i just want to say: saying “power bottom” isn’t immediately fetishizing m|m- i’m an upperclassman in high school, and i can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard stuff like that come out of my straight friend’s mouths in regards to each other. it’s an expression, it isn’t sexuality-specific. 

i understand it wasn’t the best thing to say. i understand that voltron is a kid’s show. but can you give me another instance where bex has done something that’s so bad? because i don’t remember a single thing she’s done before this that people didn’t like. bex wasn’t serious about this. again, her joke wasn’t the most fantastic thing in the world, but it wasn’t racist. it wasn’t sexist. it wasn’t homophobic. the positives far outweigh the negative on this one, guys. you have to pick your battles. 

this one isn’t worth it.

Hacking a Cheap Wacom Tablet

When I received my Intuos5 in 2012, I expected it to turn me into a drawing grand master with all the cool extra functions it had.

I was a bit disappointed to find out that it drew exactly like my old Bamboo, except the pen was nicer to hold. Since then, I’ve tried not to throw more money at Wacom than I absolutely have to. 

I’m currently using a medium Wacom ONE, which is Wacom’s cheapest tablet. The pressure sensitivity is great, and it draws perfectly well. However, it’s less comfortable to use compared to my previous Wacom tablets. Since I do use the tablet for hours every day I decided to do a bit of DIY!


1)     Changing the nib

The Wacom tablet pen comes with the default plastic nib which works but I like the other nibs better.

I found that the white-tipped flex nibs are nice for smooth, worn out tablet surfaces. I used them a lot last year when I did digital painting.

Nowadays, I spend a lot of time sketching and doing detailed lineart on the computer. I find the grey felt tips more suited for this task, for they provide a more pencil-like texture.

The nibs used to be marketed as only compatible with professional range tablets. Honestly, though, they work with any cheap Wacom tablet! I’ve tried these nibs on my old Bamboo Pen and Intuos Draw and they fit just fine.


2)     Protecting the surface with Bristol Board

Ever since I started working on my comic in 2015, I spend around 3 hours using my tablet every day. I managed to create a smooth shiny bald patch on this tablet in a month.

I couldn’t find any good surface protectors on the internet so I experimented with different types of papers.


So far, my favourite is the Bristol Board. It has an extremely fine paper texture that comes pretty close to the original surface texture of the tablet.

Keep reading

Patrick Stump ask game

Fall Out Boy: Do you prefer working in groups or on your own?

Public Display Of Affection: Are you comfortable with hugging/kissing people in public?

Xgrinding processX: Do you like your url?

Patterson: Do you want to join a band?

Truant Wave: Do you have a project that you’re working on?

Porcelain: Have you ever met a celebrity?

Spotlight (Oh Nostalgia): What do you miss about your childhood?

Cute Girls: What are three turn ons for you?

Love, Selfish Love: Are you selfish?

As Long As I Know I’m Getting Paid: What’s something you wouldn’t do for $1.000.000?

Big Hype: When was the last time you were let down by someone?

Soul Punk: What is something that you’re proud of?

Explode: Are you good at controlling your anger?

This City: Name three things you love about the city you currently live in.

Dance Miserable: Do you enjoy dancing?

Spotlight (New Regrets): What is something you regret?

The “I” In Lie: Are you a bad liar?

Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers): What is your favorite beverage?

Greed: Which of the seven deadly sins are you most guilty of?

Everybody Wants Somebody: Are you in love?

Allie: Have you ever been betrayed?

Coast (It’s Gonna Get Better): Name three things that make you feel at ease.

Bad Side Of 25: What age has been the best for you so far?

People Never Done A Good Thing: Are you very cynical?

When I Made You Cry: Have you ever made someone cry? If so, what did you do?

Mad At Nothing: Do you get irritated easily?

Saturday Night Again: Would you rather have dignity or love?

Evening Out With Your Girlfriend: What would you tell your 11-year-old self?

Take This To Your Grave: What’s the first song you heard by your favorite band?

From Under The Cork Tree: What’s your favorite book?

Infinity On High: Do you draw?

Folie A Deux: How do you react to criticism?

Believers Never Die: Do you believe in an afterlife?

PAX AM Days: Have you ever been drunk?

Save Rock And Roll: What’s your favorite genre?

American Beauty/American Psycho: What’s your favorite movie?

M A N I A: Are you looking forward to anything?

ADHD: Do you have any mental disorders?

Prince: Who do you look up to the most?

Elisa: Are you single or taken?

Glenbrook South: Do you go to school? If so, do you like the school?

Evanston: Where were you born?

Glenview: Where did you grow up?

Chicago: Where do you go to calm down?

STUMP-O-MATIC: Do you play any instruments?

Martin: Do you have a middle name?

Vaughn: Would you like to change your name?

Stumph: Does your name get misspelled a lot?

Declan: Do you want kids?

Cobra Starship: Do you have a “squad”?

April 27: When’s your birthday?

When I say I’m a bad person
I don’t mean it lightly

I mean I let my best friend
Touch me in inappropriate ways
In an empty car park
Right before we went to meet his girlfriend

I mean I was sitting on the bus
Texting my boyfriend
When my best friends hands start circling back
To where they were 3 hours beforehand
I never stopped him

I do terrible things
To people who don’t deserve them
And I don’t feel guilty about it

What does it say about me
That I can stab people so many times
And not feel an ounce of guilt?

Months ago I decided to cut everyone off
And only care for myself

It was never meant to come this far

Okay Listen Up

Lyra lied to Winn to save her brother.

Maggie lied to Alex (about her coming out) because she wanted better for Alex.

Mon-Ew lied to Kara so that he could possibly have the chance to be with Kara.

In Lyra and Maggie’s case their intentions were to benefit someone else’s well being. In Mon-El’s case he just wanted to have a romantic relationship with Kara. That’s all he ever focuses on, I mean come on, “I love being a hero because it means I get to spend every single day by your side.” His “heroism” doesn’t come from the want to help people. He knows that Kara wouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t have the best interest in mind for the people of Earth. 

Unwanted Attention

Hi guys! This has been in my drafts for ages and I completely forgot about it until yesterday! Hope you enjoy. :)

Plot: Harry has this one friend who loves hitting on Y/N.

Warnings: Curse words and handsy moments while dancing. Nothing smutty and nothing violent though. 

There was something off about Jordan. His icy blue eyes followed my movements like a hawk observing his prey and when he noticed me staring back at him he flashed me one of his sleazy grins. He was a handsome guy, there was no denying that, but from the moment he’d been introduced to me I could sense that he simply wasn’t one to take a hint. It wasn’t even about me being too pretty and him just finding me irresistible, not by any means. It was that Jordan couldn’t bear a girl not wanting him. His brain simply couldn’t comprehend how I hadn’t fallen to his feet yet. I shuddered under his sharp eyes and shrunk further into the warmth of Harry’s side. Harry didn’t look at me but responded by resting his arm around my shoulders and leaning his head against mine momentarily while chuckling along to one of Nick’s jokes, giving me comfort without having even noticed that I needed it. My eyes found Jordan’s once more and my heart dropped when he was still grinning, wider this time and with his brows raised. Almost as if he was trying to say that he accepted the challenge. 

Harry laughed loudly, squeezing me to him and I straightened my posture staring back at Jordan confidently. My hand rested on Harry’s chest, the other arm wrapped around his back and my temple leaned against his arm. I was saying something back clearly. The only reason I was here was Harry and Jordan could fuck off.

….

It was a friday night what naturally meant that Harry wanted to go out. From the moment I opened the door for him to enter my apartment he’d been talking about nothing else other than this bar which had only just opened in East London. Thanks to his ever charming soul he’d become friends with the owner and owned one of the few invitations to the opening party tonight.

“You’ve got to come with me,” Harry insisted, “Nick and Jordan are coming, too.”

“Sounds like a guy’s night out then,” I murmured, trying to decline his proposal as nicely as I could, “I don’t think I should intervene, Harry.”

“As if you’d intervene,” Harry said quickly, rolling his eyes as if I was being completely absurd, “You couldn’t possibly. C'mon, love, you’ve got to!”

Honestly, a night out with Harry sounded perfect. I loved seeing him dance, hearing him sing and laughing along to all of the silly puns tipsy Harry could come up with. We had spent many fun nights out together, starting with him helping me choose a dress and me painting his nails and ending with the both of us dropping on either his or my bed, too drunk to care about sleeping in our cloths and in each other’s arms.
Harry was the best company and every moment I got to spend with him was one I treasured. I didn’t like having to avoid Harry in order to avoid Jordan, but he’d already invited him and no matter my feelings for Harry, his friend truly was the last person I wanted to spend my night with. But at the same time… ugh.
I groaned and let my head fall back onto the couch, turning to look at Harry who was sprawled out next to me. He wore a hopeful look, his sparkling eyes wide and his lips set in a pout.

“Please,” he whined, “Nick’s been bugging me by calling you ‘Harry’s best friend who never turns up’ and he’s kinda right with it.”

“Oh shut up,” I laughed.

He rolled onto his side and began pulling at my arm, making me lay down as well so we were both facing each other. I hummed when his hand found mine so he could move his thumb over my palm in a soothing motion and I smiled at him lovingly, enjoying to just be able to appreciate him without him noticing, his gaze set on my fingers. His forehead was furrowed and his lips still in a pout, his expression resembling the one of a little boy who failed to understand something.

“We don’t even have to stay long,” Harry mumbled, focus still on my hand, “let’s just go, please.”

“Ugh,” I groaned and let my head drop against his shoulder in defeat, “fine.”

“Yehi!” Harry cheered, surprising me by jumping up with a sudden energy bolt and he threw himself onto my body, not caring one bit that his weight was crushing me.

His lips met the skin of my cheek in a loud kiss and I grimaced, batting his face away while laughing.

“It’s going to be great, you’ll see,” Harry promised, his cheeks stretched in a wide and confident grin.

I smiled and chuckled at how happy and cheery Harry was all of a sudden, but at the same time I couldn’t help a tiny pang of guilt in my tummy. He was thrilled to be going out and looked forward to spending the night with his friends and all I could think about was how this meant I would practically be exposed for Jordan to ogle me all night, silently undressing me with his eyes.
I watched Harry laugh as he went on with a story Jeff had told him and I wrapped my arms around his chest, cuddling into his side and I made a point of humming whenever it fit, letting him know that I was listening. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be all bad, I thought as I noticed the crinkles around his eyes and breathed in his familiar smell. After all, I wouldn’t be alone.

….

The alcoholic liquid left a heavy taste on my tongue and wrapped my head in a cloudy daze making me dizzy momentarily. My throat burned and I mentally cursed Harry for making me engage in his stupid drinking games. Still, I set the empty glass down only seconds after Harry smashed his own onto the countertop, scoring in second. Harry cheered and let his dimples show when he grinned widely and he held out his hand to high five me just when Jordan and Nick finished their shots too.

“I’d say we all know who’s the winner,” Harry announced proudly with a drop of tequila running down his chin and Nick rolled his eyes.

The bar was as crowded as I had expected it to be on a friday night, causing people to stumble into me whenever someone tried to reach the bar. The music was loud and everyone around us was dancing and laughing, enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of the building. So far Harry had been right, at least up until a few minutes ago. We’d been drinking good drinks and my tummy ached from laughing so hard at his stupid jokes, so it was hard to deny I was having fun. The best thing was that Jordan hung out with a group of girls for most of the night so far, only joining us minutes ago when he was done bathing in the girl’s attention. I’d lowered my gaze under Jordan’s watchful eyes and had hoped he’d just leave again.
Harry had stayed oblivious to me scooting a little closer to him and so had Nick. Only Jordan had noticed and his eyes had narrowed, never letting me out of sight.

“Such a show off, Styles,” Nick laughed and playfully pushed Harry by his shoulder, “Your victory was a close call between you and your bestie over there so don’t get too cocky.”

“I’m aware,” Harry laughed and send me a proud smile.

I giggled and shrugged, fist-pumping Harry.
He looked incredibly handsome, especially with the newly gained growth of his hair, the stubborn curls already fighting their way back. I knew he missed the length of his hair, but I secretly loved the short strands crowning his head. They were less likely to shield his pretty face from my view. Though I admired him for his effortless attractiveness, it bugged me how he could pull off anything and looked good even with his typical jeans and dad-shirt look. Everything suited him, which was surely caused by his confidence.

“But that’s on me, too,” Harry continued proudly, pushing our used shot glasses together so he could pick them all up in both of his massively big hands, “Who do you think taught her?”

Nick raised both arms with a laugh and looked at me for confirmation. A giggle fell from my mouth at the memory of Harry spending the night at my place many months ago, the counter of my kitchen littered with shot glasses and different spirit bottles as he lectured me on how it was my tongue’s fault that I couldn’t do it right. He’d even argued that the muscle in my mouth must have been to big and that I’d need to move it to the side more. The result of me trying had been a stained shirt and wet chest and of course a laughing Harry, but at least I was good at it now.

“S'true,” I agreed, “You won’t admit it but your instructions only worked 'cause I’m a talented student.”

Harry laughed. “Oh, so my teaching skills are shit, then? S'that what you’re trying to tell me?”

I was about to reply when Jordan’s rough voice interrupted us in a snarl, “Jesus Christ we get it. You guys are fucking each other just stop bullshitting us.”

He rolled his eyes, no humor in his expression and he seemed as if he was completely done with Harry and me. I shook my head and wanted to bite something back, but reconsidered and stayed silent. Harry had been so excited to spend time with his friends, I didn’t want to ruin it by starting a fight.

“Oh, piss off, Jordan,” Harry scoffed with a laugh.

“Oi,” Nick called, raising his brows at me with a teasing grin on his face, “What did I miss?”

He looked at me expectantly as if I was about to tell him the greatest story he’d ever heard. I gave him a playful push back.

“You guys,” I began, “are assholes.”

Harry chuckled, shaking his head, “I’ll get us another round.”

He nodded to the other end of the bar where all of the bartenders were gathered and turned to walk towards it, taking the glasses with him. How the hell could he fit them all in both of his hands? Thinking the same, Nick was quick to offer help and so he was gone and after Harry before I could beg him to stay.
Well… fuck. I was left in the exact situation I’d hoped I wouldn’t be in, one I’d dreaded so much it had made me want to avoid coming here in the first place. Already I could feel Jordan’s creepy vibe on me almost like a haze covering my body and my skin prickled. Silently I climbed to sit on Harry’s barstool, hoping to get away with distracting myself by my phone and to avoid any conversation with the unpleasant guy until my friends returned.

Jordan seemed to have other plans.

“You’re ignoring me now?” Jordan laughed mockingly, “Really? That’s ridiculous of you, doll.”

I tensed at the nickname and bit the inside of my cheek, then I turned off my phone and met Jordan’s eyes. You’re a prick, my head screamed at him and my hands clenched in need to smack his stupid grin off his face.

“How about we just wait in silent for Nick and Harry to come back?” I asked, my voice surprising me with a lot more confidence than I’d anticipated.

Jordan laughed once more, throwing his head back. “Well, I’m a rather vocal guy. You’d know if you’d quit playing hard to get and just give in to me.”

I visibly cringed and jerked back from the guy when he scooted closer, leaning into me so there were only few centimeters separating us. He picked up the abandoned beer bottle he’d been sipping on throughout the night and took two more gulps, allowing his eyes to stay fixated on me. Again he resembled so much a hawk who had found his prey of choice and was not going to stop before he got it.

“So,” He began, voice now sweet like honey, “You’re hooking up with him now, huh?”

I but my lip at the mention of Harry and shrugged his words off with a muttered “no”, raising my head to search for Nick and Harry in the crowd, hoping to see them on their way back. Unfortunately they hadn’t even reached the bartenders yet and when I looked back at Jordan, I could tell we were thinking the same thing. I’d be alone for a while with no one coming to save me.

“Looks like they’re going to be gone for quite a bit,” Jordan commented and he grinned at me, exposing his perfectly white teeth, “would be a shame if we just sat here moping, wouldn’t it?”

“I’m good,” I replied calmly, hoping he would let it go which of course he didn’t.

Jordan stepped closer, titled his head to the side and looked at me closely, similar to how a costumer checks the meat at the butcher’s when selecting what to have. My breath hitched when his fingers rested on my knee and he chuckled, moving them in a scratching motion and squeezing every now and again, making sure he prevented me from moving away. His tongue slipped out, wetting his lips and I pushed his hand away forcefully, only for him to grasp my wrist.

“C'mon,” he announced, pulling me from the stool and to my feet in a swift yank, “If Harry can teach you how to drink with a man, I’ll show you how to dance with one.”

Waiting for an answer or my consent seemed to be a waste of time to him and before I could react he’d pulled me off my stool and away from the bar. Soon we were surrounded by sweating and moving bodies, the music over here so loud I could feel the beat drum through my body. Jordan pulled me further and deeper into the crowd of humping people until he seemed satisfied with our location, far away from the counter to which Harry would return to soon. Jordan came to a swift halt and turned around to face me, releasing my wrist but encircling my waist so quickly I couldn’t move away. His arms tightened and he hummed, pulling me into his body so my chest was pressed against his. My hands settled onto his waist and I tried to push him off with as much strength as I could muster, yet I failed. His skin was hot and sweaty beneath my fingertips and I shuddered upon feeling his breath at my throat when he leaned in. His head pressed against mine and his fingers squeezed my hips.

“Jordan,” I urged into his ear, “let me go.”

Panic started to crawl through every vein of my body until I went rigid and my skin was littered with goosebumps. My throat was dry and all my brain screamed at me to do was to get out of the situation, to run away and hide from this gross man. Only how? His hold on me was too forceful and tight I had no chance of fighting him off. The only people who could help me were Harry and Nick and they had no idea where I was and would surely not be able to spot me in the sea of people either.
Ignoring my request, Jordan grabbed my hips tighter, his hold almost bruising and I gasped in shock when he began to move his own hips forward in a rough thrust, allowing our crotches to meet. I squealed and flinched back immediately, only to be pulled forward and held against Jordan’s body.

“C'mon, babe,” he laughed and repeated the movement of his hips, “Bet you’d let Harry have a go, huh? Why not me? S'it 'cause I’m not as rich as him? Or famous? Trust me babe, I can show you a better time, you’ll see.”

My stomach sunk and I shook my head. Unwanted tears shot to my eyes and spilled over when he moved both arms so he could rest his hands on my back, pushing me against his own body and moving me so I was forced to dance with him. He treated me like I was a doll and that sickened me more than anything.

“Let go,” I demanded, my voice now nothing more than a weak whimper, “You’re hurting me.”

To my great luck one of the girls dancing around us slipped in that moment and tumbled into Jordan, catching him off guard and knocking him right off of me. His arms loosened and I took my chance to push them away before fighting my way through the mass of people and away from him as fast as I my feet could carry me. I didn’t care how ridiculous I must have looked and didn’t stop until my eyes landed on the familiar and comforting sight of Harry and Nick standing at the bar where they’d expected me to wait for them. Neither of them saw me coming and when Harry looked up I had already thrown myself at him, embracing his shoulders tightly.

“Wow,” Harry laughed and Nick chuckled, but I didn’t react and only pushed my face closer into Harry’s warm neck in an attempt at shutting everything around me out.  

My body was still trembling and I swallowed repeatedly to keep stop crying. Only now did it truly sink in how forceful Jordan’s hands had been as I felt his hold on my skin as if it was still there. The skin tingled and burned. Surprised by my sudden neediness Harry wrapped his arms around me loosely and leaned his head against mine, allowing his nose to run along my cheek. With him it didn’t feel threatening or harsh, quite the opposite. With simple touches and without intending it, Harry calmed my distraught emotions.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked with a gentle hum, amusement clear in his tone.

I just shook my head and loosened my hold on him reluctantly, only enough to not be strangling him. Harry pulled me into his side and held me there, smiling down at me with warmth in his green orbs.

“Where were you anyway?” Nick chuckled in, “We go get drinks for you guys and you reward us by disappearing.”

“There she is!”

Jordan’s voice roared from my right and I whimpered quietly, scooting further into Harry’s arms and away from Jordan. My head turned into his direction and I caught him staring at me with piercing eyes.

“Back with your lover,” he spoke in a chuckle, shaking his head, “fucking perfect.”

My face burned and I clenched my hands into fists. “Go fuck yourself, Jordan.”

Nick’s eyes widened at my sudden outburst and raised voice and he stepped closer. I could feel Harry’s fingers curl against my bare back, yet he didn’t loosen his hold. Instead he turned his body so he was facing Jordan as well and when I looked up his jaw was set and his eyes narrow, yet not at me but at Jordan.

“You guys what is going on?” Nick demanded to know.

Jordan faced Harry’s hard stare. “Have fun with her, I’m done.”

“Excuse me?” Harry demanded perplexed, though I could hear a hint of anger and his body froze.

I let my hand drop and rest against Harry’s chest, earning his attention and shaking my head at him. “Leave it.”

Jordan sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes once more. “I need a drink. Let me know when you’re done gawking at each other.”

He stormed off before either of us had a chance to reply. Nick turned to me and Harry let go of his hold so he could look at me as well. Their expression said the same. What on earth had just happened?

“Bloody hell,” Nick blurted, “What was that all about?”

My cheeks still burned and I closed my eyes, brushing against the heated skin of my face as I tried to collect my thoughts and form a proper sentence, one that wouldn’t send Harry off and after Jordan.

“We danced,” I began timidly.

“Yeah, we figured that much,” Nick nodded, “And? What set him off? Your lack of sense for rhythm?”

“Nick,” Harry barked and the smile faded on Nick’s face, slowly realizing the seriousness of the situation.

“Well,” I cleared my throat, “I didn’t exactly want to dance. He sort of made me and I got really uncomfortable after he wouldn’t let go and once he did I came back here. That must have pissed him off.”

“He made you dance?” Harry inquired, his eyes hardened and he held his breath, “How?”

I looked at him hesitantly and bit my lip. There was no easy or harmless way of saying this so I stayed silent all together. Honestly, I felt bad. Though Jordan hadn’t been part of Harry’s friendship group for long, I knew he liked him and me having a problem with Jordan would complicate things.
Harry’s tongue slipped out, wetting his lips. Suddenly his attention fell down to where his hand had subconsciously taken ahold of my wrist. Something in his expression changed and my chest felt tight. Harry’s worried gaze met mine momentarily, then he raised my arm up so he could get a closer look of my skin. One glance sufficed.

Harry’s fingers interlocked with mine and he gave them a gentle squeeze, his eyes full of sudden sadness and set on my face, silently communicating that he was sorry. My eyes watered and I bit the inside of my cheek, my own fingers squeezing his hand reassuringly. It wasn’t Harry’s fault.

“I’m going to kill him,” Harry promised me, voice stern and his eyes wide, “I promise.”

“Wha-” Nick began but Harry interrupted him.

“Her wrist is red, Nick! That’ll bruise for sure! Where else did he touch you, Y/N? Does it hurt?”

“Maybe my hip,” I replied hesitantly, tightening my grip on his hand.

A small noise left Harry’s mouth and he responded by wrapping me into a hug.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated quietly into my ear, his breath tickling my neck.

“And that was Jordan?” Nick asked form behind me, “I never knew he was such a prick.”

“I did,” I muttered into Harry’s chest, my words quiet but he heard.

Harry’s hands set on my ribs and he slowly pushed me off, careful to be tender. When my eyes met his I shuddered. He looked incredibly angry.

“Are you saying he’s done that before?” Harry growled.

“No,” I replied quickly, “But… he’d stare. Longer than he needed to and especially when I’m with you he wouldn’t stop. And whenever you guys would leave he’d make stupid innuendos.”

Harry shook his head, sighing and closing his eyes momentarily. “I should have noticed.”

A frown took over his face and he pouted, adapting his child-like look and I couldn’t fight the smile from crawling onto my face. I reached out one hand and squeezed his arm.

“Don’t be silly, Harry.”

Nick watched us observantly and nodded. “He’s right though. We should have payed more attention. And I was the one who brought him around for the first time, too. I’m sorry.”

“Wait 'till I get my fingers on him,” Harry promised, his eyes fierce as they locked with mine, “He has no right to so much as think of you in that way, let alone touch you. I won’t have it.”

His head shot up and his eyes searched for Jordan’s face. I shook my head and stepped closer to him, raising both hands to his cheeks so I could guide his head and force him to look at me.

“Harry, leave it, okay?” I spoke sternly, “Please. I’m fine, I swear.”

“Fine?” Harry barked, “Your skin is red! Because of him! Y/N if you think I will just stand by while some dick mistreats you then you’re wrong. I will-”

“No, you won’t,” I interrupted, “It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s gone. And in the future you’ll know not to leave me alone with him.”

“As if I’d let him near you again.” Harry rolled his eyes and shot Nick a warning look when he began to quietly laugh behind us.

“Jesus, Harry. Don’t go all caveman on us.”

I turned to look back at Nick and smiled at his big grinned expression. My hands moved down Harry’s arms and I let one of them linger and grasp Harry’s fingers. Nick noticed my action and his face lighted up.

“Let me deal with Jordan,” he proposed, looking at Harry, “And you take your girl home, yeah?”

Harry shifted his weight from foot to foot and raised a brow at his friend, then he sighed and let this thumb caress my wrist.

“You tell him to never come around us again,” Harry commanded sternly, but something in his tone had changed and I could sense that he was calmer now, “Or else I’ll fucking ruin him.”

“Want me to quote you on that?” Nick laughed but nodded, then he leaned in to kiss my cheek softly before making his way into the direction Jordan had taken earlier.

Harry looked after him with almost an envious expression and I clenched my fingers around him, trying to get his attention back.

“Please,” I quietly begged, “Just take me home.”

My eyes pleaded with his and Harry bit harshly into his pink bottom lip. He sighed and frowned at me, saying: “Are you sure that you don’t want me to go after him?”

“Yes,” I answered without a pause for a thought, “Please.”

“Alright.”

….

Harry’s hand felt good in my own, this I had to admit. He was warm, soft and knew without me having to say when I needed him to hold on tighter.
We’d slipped out of the club without saying goodbye to any of the people who’d recognized Harry and had hurried to catch a cab on the busy Londoner street, which lucky for us wasn’t difficult. On the backseat was where I’d allowed myself to drop any of the boundaries I normally lived by when I was in public with Harry and instead had crawled into him without hesitating first. And he’d welcomed it. Harry’s hands had settled onto my hips and he’d leaned in to cuddle his head into my neck while I’d led my face bury itself in his chest to breathe him in.

“I’m sorry,” Harry had whispered, “You’re the most important person to me. I should have sensed that something was wrong.”

I’d shaken my head against him. “I should have said something.”

Shortly after our messy car ride we were stood in front of my home, still holding on to each other’s fingers and without any sign of letting the other go. Harry’s head was held low and I noticed how he turned my hand around so he could look at it closely. A huff fell from his lips and I shook my head.

“Don’t freak out again, please?” I asked quietly, “It’ll be okay.”

I wasn’t as shaken up about the incident anymore, Harry’s comforting nature having its usual calming effect on me. There was no denying that I had been in danger tonight with Jordan’s endless game having reached its peak but it was over now and given Harry’s reaction to his friend’s lack of manners I was sure Jordan wouldn’t be a problem any longer. Maybe I should have gone to find the girl who’d saved me by stumbling just in time.
The feeling of Harry’s mouth meeting my cheek in a tender kiss brought me back to the present and I smiled widely, humming when he let his cheek rest against my own. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hands found my waist, pulling me into his body. I breathed in his familiar scent and relaxed against him, loving to finally have him to myself.

“We should tell them,” Harry began quietly.

“Do you really think that would have stopped Jordan?” I asked with raised brows, moving back so I could look at him properly, “He’s been suspecting that there was something going on between us for ages now anyway.”

My hands took hold of his shirt’s collar and I allowed my fingers to scratch his neck.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Fucking hell. The way he kept running his mouth tonight I already thought Nick was actually going to believe him. Wanted to punch him even before you told me about what he did.”

“Don’t you think he’d rub it into our faces even more if he knew he was right all along?”

“Hm,” Harry shrugged, leaning his body into mine, making me giggle, “So you think we should just continue to hide our relationship?”

His palm cradled my face and he leaned in to connect our lips in a quick and tender kiss catching me off guard in the best way possible. He didn’t allow his mouth to linger but pulled back and looked at me with pleading eyes.

“I want them to know, Y/N,” Harry begged quietly, “Hate worrying 'bout some bloke trying something the moment I turn around 'cause he thinks you’re still single.”

I shrugged in his hold and gently scratched his chin, “I’m all for telling our friends, my love.”

My lips met the corner of his lips and I smiled softly. “But don’t feel like you have to. It’s really only been Jordan who’d behaved like a dick to me. All your other friends are fine.”

“Well, good to know,” Harry chuckled, pressing a kiss to my jaw, “Seriously though I want people to be aware of you and me dating. Maybe not the media, but at least our friends.

"They’ll never shut their mouths about it,” I predicted, wrapping both arms around Harry’s neck.

He shook his head and let his arms sneak around me and I laughed softly when he began to sway us slowly. He was so beautiful, I thought. How could Jordan ever think he’d stand a chance compared to the amazing and wonderful man in my arms?
Harry kissed my shoulder, chuckling when I squealed under the tickling feeling of his hair against my skin.

“We’re just two friends,” he began quietly, “who fell in love with each other.”

I nodded and sighed. “They’ll understand.”

Hope you enjoyed it! 

Rest of my writings are here:

 http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/156817411518/all-my-writing

6

[x]

A Luthor and a Super. A non-profit fan poster inspired by Beauty and the Beast (2017) movie. If you like, let me know! That motivates me. And if you use it, please credit me whenever possible :)

Other posters made by me here.

You can also follow me on twitter if you want.

Keep reading

5

What’s your favorite version of Treasure Island that’s been done?

Luke: For me, it’s Muppet Treasure Island. I love it to death and I actually think it’s one of the best adaptations as far as the way the things they cut and kept in and built up the action. Even if it wasn’t the Muppets it’d still be a great version. I love it, and I have to try not to think about it too much on set.

Jessica: It’s so funny because we get asked that question a lot and I’ve heard Luke say the same answer and he’s equally excited every time. “Muppet Treasure Island! And this is why!” It’s so cute.

Progress update!

Good day all!

We have been getting a lot of questions about how far we are with the game, so I figured it was time for a little sit-down.

First things first, we have officially started play testing our engine.  This has turned out about exactly as one would think.

School, real life, new employment opportunities, a few engagements/marriages, enough drama to entertain an army of stay at home parents, and just a gosh darn plethora of other things have done their best to sink this glorious project.  I won’t lie and say that it has been easy.  When we started this project so long ago, nobody really had any idea what they were doing.  Now, thankfully, we have the experience to admit that we don’t know what we are doing.

The predictable result of all of this is that the project has definitely gone slower than anybody in the process has really wanted.  This has been compounded with the fact that most of the coveted dating sim projects we have come to love have thrown in the towel.

We here at the UDS would love to take a moment to thank how patient 99% of you have been with us (you know who you are).  We are currently working on a way to actually communicate on how the production is going.  I’m thinking either a progress page or maybe even weekly patch notes.  Who knows.

I do know that by the end of this, I will probably be unable to look at any of these characters in a good light ever again.  I just spent 30 minutes trying to figure out why Toriel would disappear instead of laughing.

Hope everybody has a great afternoon, and stay tuned for more news in the near future!  I’m diving back in.

Bofur x Reader

Summary: Thranduil decides to have a ‘talk’ with you after Thorin declines his deal and insults him. He uses you to send a message at your and Bofur’s expense.

Characters: Bofur, The company, Thranduil, Legolas

Warnings: Strong language used though very little

Word Count: 2,541

“I told him he could go Ishkh khakfe andu null him and all his kin!” You heard Thorin snarl angrily from your shared cell with Bofur, you turned to him alarm on your face.

“Bofur what does that mean?” You asked him frightfully, you were only half dwarf the other half of you human and had been living on the streets of Bree scavenging and stealing to survive until Gandalf found you and asked you to assist a friend of his on a quest. You of course had said yes eager to leave your miserable life of the streets behind you. This of course led you to meeting Bofur and the two of you falling in love.

“It means may you die in dragon fire.” He replied voice quiet. You visibly paled at his words if Thorin had insulted the King whatever slim chance you had at getting out of here was now gone.

Keep reading

7

G1 Transformers Episode 1 Season 1: More than meets the Eye, Part 1

Two days ago, this blog reached 3000 amazing followers , which is more than I could’ve ever hoped for. There is no way I could thank all of you for your support and kind words, but I’ll try to anyway.

As a thank you, I will go through with a project I’ve been meaning to do for some time now, and I will recap every single G1 episode.

Not every episode is easy to make fun of, not every episode is pure gold like “A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur’s Court” or “Carnage in C-minor”, but every episode is magical in its own way, and even the genuinely good ones have a whole bunch of nonsense and silly lines in them. This is both a thank you to all of you, as well as an expression for my appreciation and love for this cartoon.

Season 1 is relatively tame and I will try my best to make the recaps of those episodes somewhat enjoyable, because Season 1 is actually not bad and things only really took a turn for the fantastical nonsense in Season 2 and onwards. I hope you’ll enjoy these comics, and I will still make short G1 comics like I’ve done so far.

This is for those who have seen the cartoon and aren’t sure if this show really exists (spoiler: it does) and for those who haven’t seen it and just want to have a very short version of it. I will leave out things on purpose so you can still watch the show and experience a whole bunch of strange dialogues and horrible evil plans that go nowhere without having everything spoiled here.

Thank you guys so much for these past 10 months, they’ve been amazing for me and I hope you’ll stay for some more!

(btw I apologize for all errors etc, I’ve been making this for 8 hours straight and I’m a bit exhausted now)

belilsario  asked:

How do you feel about the reception Feed has gotten so far?

Thrilled. Beyond thrilled. I hope we will eventually get some main stream acknowledgement, reviews from film sites or a festival run would have been nice, but that’s just me being a selfish filmmaker. The best part about the reception, so far, is that the community of people I wrote the film for have been so warm and receptive. If I had written this film and people who had suffered or are suffering from an ED said, “You got it wrong” or “This makes things worse” I don’t know what I would have done, I would have been so deeply ashamed. But it’s been the exact opposite hearing from people in recovery that they feel seen by the film, that they feel represented by the film and supported by the message of the film makes me feel SO PROUD. That community is who I wrote this film for, so that hopefully they could watch it with those they love or are near to and it can start a better conversation of understanding and maybe one of support to get help.

4

JOHN & CARL KLINGBERG, offseason training.

I: “Is it (winning gold at the 2017 IIHF world championship) the biggest thing the two of you have done together?”

J: “Yes, sportswise absolutely. I don’t know if we’ve done something bigger than that aside from hockey yet. We create so many memories all the time. He (Carl) is my best friend, we do so much stuff together all the time. But sportswise the gold is by far the biggest thing we’ve done together. It’s probably the biggest thing we’ve done together ever.”

anonymous asked:

Aftercare with the boys after some love making? 😏

I’m not gonna lie, but I was so excited to right this and now that I’ve got round to it I kinda forgot where I was going with them. 

What I do know though, is that I may create another part for the older!bros if you guys enjoy this!

which I hope you do because god dang Older!Noct is just stuck in my head and he’s so gorgeous no matter how old he is… 


Gladio is a very very tender man after making love to the one he truly loves and wants to be with. He’s the type to look at you with the most gorgeous gleam in his eyes that make you forget just how much of a powerhouse he is on the battlefield (and sometimes in the throws of passion). He’s caress your cheek so gently because he’s almost afraid that he’d accidentally hurt you, treat you like you were a fragile piece of china.

And he’d caress the ends of your hair before tucking the runaways that have fallen in front of you face behind your ear. He’d be smiling just as tenderly as his touch Of course, you’d smile right back and he’d only cup your cheek  and press a kiss to you forehead, cheeks, nose and lips once you’d snuggled up to him.

There would be very minimal talking and it would depend upon how rough he was. If he was rougher than normal, he’d ask ‘you okay?’ rather casually. But it would break you into laughter or into a wide smile. Mainly because it would show that he wasn’t mad at you. That he still cared.
Apart from that it would just be small things: looking back at the day just gone, maybe making a few plans for the future. After a couple of months there would just be the inclination of starting a family, though nothing would ever be set in stone considering his duty to the crown. But he never said no. He’d say ‘I’d like that’ or ‘sounds like a plan for when you’re ready.’ Because even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be the one lugging a child in his body. So it would be up to you.

After making love for the first time with him, he would be a little verbal after the act, making sure you were okay, that he wasn’t too tender or too rough. Because it was easy for him to miscalculate how he was in bed, it would have been very impulsive, so he’d need to get a better idea of what you truly liked.

Sometimes, the small talks would lead to another round. Because he would often tease you with chaste and sinful kisses. 

He’d either hum or sing for you (he’s a good singer now) so you could sleep soundly. Because of this, you’d usually fall asleep first. But if he had an excruciatingly long day - both from guarding the prince and trying not to thin about you too much - he’d fall asleep because you would be able to notice his weariness, and you’d hum and sing for him instead. 

On those days, he’d value your chest as his pillow, although you would be cradling his head in such a way that you breasts were his only pillow, and he’d let both your voice and your heart lull him to sleep.

Most of the time though, he’d refuse sleep until you were at peace in your slumber and he’d be holding you to him. Sometimes he’d even slip one of his vest tops on you so wouldn’t wake to a horrible chill at four in the morning.

Originally posted by connorkenvay

Prompto would be a little similar to Gladio, but also entirely different. Sometimes there would be absolutely no talking because you would have fallen asleep, or the only talking shared would be from looking at the pictures he had taken.

But he would also be the master of teasing you. Not in Gladio’s style, but from just saying sweet things like ‘This is my fave photo of you from the day - the lighting captures your perfection so well and it makes you look so radiant’. But one that would always be with you was ‘the dawn makes you look like a goddess bringing in the new day. And the dusk makes you look like the same goddess waving farewell to the day. But the moonlight? That easily transform you into the most beautiful angel.’

“If I really am an angel, I must have done something real bad to be banished down here then.”

“That’s the most comforting thing you’ve ever said.” And, of course, he’d show you his best smile. “Because you loving me so much that you’d get banished to be with me makes my heart sing.”

And it would turn playful, mainly with tickle fights. Which, again, may or may not lead to another, more playful, round. Though they were very rare because most of the time you’d be far to embarrassed to even stay awake. Because you’d be hiding your face in his neck, and the feeling of his pulse on your temple would send you to sleep quicker than any lullaby would.

The after care after making love to you the very first time round would be a very concerned and embarrassed Prompto checking over you repeatedly. Because it was his very first time of having a sexual encounter. And he loved you so much that he just wanted to make sure he did it right to your tastes. But goddamn he needn’t have worried about that. But worry he did and he’d only stop once you pecked his lips. But whether you then treated him to a round is entirely up to you. Because, he wasn’t gonna turn it down.

Originally posted by ffxvsnow

Ignis would most certainly be the type to pillow-talk. Because making love with you would also build a bond of faith and trust between the two of you. And it would be the only time he’d be sober of caffeine for him to not only feel drowsy, but far more relaxed. But maybe that would be because he couldn’t be mum friend to you without feeling absolutely mortified. Mainly after making love you.

It is a well known fact to you that he has perfected the skill of intense love making. He’d take slow to a while new level but it was also known to you that he could be rough. Depending upon a - how long you’d been oh-so-casually teasing him - and b - how long it had been since you two had been able to have time alone.

It was a must-do thing to ask if you were okay after, but he didn’t make it a rarity either. But he would make ask if you wanted anything before going to sleep: a glass of water, a window upon, a blanket and so on. 

Regardless if you wanted anything or not, talking was a must. At first he was against it, but you told him ‘you always take on everyone’s burdens, now let me take on yours. What’s the point of fighting alone if you know you’ll be stronger fighting with another?’ And suddenly it became a thing.

Sometimes the talks would be trivial, sometimes they would be deep. Sometimes they were happy, other times they were just goddamn depressing. But what didn’t change was his actions during these talks.

He would just be holding you to his chest, either talking softly or listening intently, and he’d be looking at you with his piecing green eyes looking at you so gently you could feel his soul embracing yours. At first it was a very strange feeling, but you quickly learned it was because his eyes looked so much brighter without glasses that they just drew you in.

After the first love making ‘session’, he visibly flushed at your staring and he legit pouted when you found it amusing. Of course he played it behind his typical Ignis sarc, but he couldn’t keep it up forever. And he soon just stared right back at you, right into your eyes, and then chuckled when you flushed.

Although he didn’t seem like the Ignis everyone knew and loved, he really was. But he had just adopted a side he would only ever show you on a common basis. And when he unintentionally showed it to you in front of everyone the next day, Noct was the first to say ‘I think he needs a doctor’ and check his temperature. And it was somehow comforting….

Anyway, moving back to the point at hand, it’s also a well known fact that he really doesn’t get that much sleep. So the pillow-talk helps him get sleepier than Noct and having sex you definitely uses all that caffeine. Rest assured that he will be a lot happier the following morning. And he would be looking so radiant that the boys will just know what you had done. And no one really wanted to know apart from Gladio, who always asked the most disturbing questions which would always be accompanied by Noct and Prompto’s gagging noises.

Originally posted by verryfinny


Noctis is another barrel of fish - pun unintended. Now, people like to think that he’d just fall asleep ridiculously quickly. Don’t get me wrong, that is definitely one of the most common occurrences. But he is also the most willingly to have a mess around and stay up until you grew tired: which could be anywhen.

His aftercare definitely depends upon the situation. 

Had a relatively easy day of just driving around the place? He’d fall asleep without even knowing he’d closed his eyes. Most of the time on top of you. 
Just spent all day in a royal tomb over run by daemons? He’d do a little talking. Just a lot of I love yous.

But on days where everything just weighed him down? On days where he just wanted to break down? Aftercare would be full of sentimental value. Although he’d just put forward insecurities and where his heart on his face - sometimes he would actually go into silent breakdown mode - he wouldn’t talk about them in so much detail. Because just thinking about them would hurt. 

But if you were injured slightly? He’d gently tease you after it all. If you had just recovered from a nasty injury? He would be blaming himself and he would literally vow to you that he would never let it happen again. 

If you had scared him on more than one occasion throughout the door - like jumping on his back and yelling ‘IMPERIALS WANT OUR BLOODS TODAY’ - he will be extra silent on you whilst curling up to you.

But each scenario always led to the cutest things. Noct was obsessed with playing with your fingers. He’d hold your hand, fiddle with your fingers, kiss your fingertips and then and he’d weave them with his. If he was cuddling up to you, he’d put your hand on his head and you knew you’d have to play with his hair. If he was the one to hold you, he’d bury his face in your hair, rest his chin on the crown of your head, play with your hair. 
But both circumstances also had him smiling so tenderly at you, had him pecking your lips, the backs and palms of your hand. And he would always fall asleep holding onto your hand.

And the only times he would ask if you were okay with the intercourse, would be during it.

But you can rest assured that he would definitely be extremely smiley the next morning and oh em gee he would be absolutely adorable all day. Well, until some silly sausage would be evil to him. Like you saying he should drive for a couple of days because Iggy had pooped himself out so badly that he was ill.

That’s right. You also wanted people to get used to his driving. Because you found it so entertaining. You strange person.

Opps. I just burned myself. Oh well XD

Originally posted by mineraruuota

anonymous asked:

what was the last fic you read and love it? i need some recs

sauce:  

Jumping before the Gunshot has Gone Off by tigerlily_sunshine (I started reading this when the first chapter was posted then lost touch with it and now recently I jumped back into it and it was glorious as a writer I am super jealous of the smut writing like HOW)

Camp Yellow Wood by onceuponatime (it’s so so good like I’ve read this five times and it only ever gets better I live for Camp Rock esque camp AUs)

like a dog inspires a rabbit by notactuallybatman (I just…. I just…. it’s criminal how little people know about this fic it is so good and UGH also college AUs hell yeah) 

everthing that was ever written by paperstorm but you already know that 

no sauce: 

Post-It Note Romance by fuzzytomato (this is Merlin/Arthur from BBC’s Merlin and it’s the cutest secret admirer fic you could ever imagine I’m–)

Three Months by virginiasoil (this is Clarke/Bellamy from The 100, a good old roomies to lovers fic yet so much more and I adore this fic)

this city bleeds its aching heart by Renne (this is Steve/Bucky from the Marvel Cinemativ Universe and BOY do I love myself some good “we have to pretend to be married for the mission” trope especially when it is as well done as this) 

step out into the sun by plutos (this is Finn/Poe from Star Wars and it’s the best thing ever I laughed so much and cried so much and the whole “oops people think we got married so I guess we have to go along with it” trope is just brilliant also I just noticed there is a theme going on here whoops) 

The dark’s not taking prisoners tonight by DisasterSoundtrack (I rec this to anyone who asks me for the best fics I’ve read individually and this is by far one of them I’ve read this years ago for the first time and I still think about it often seriously it’s so good also includes like every band dude pairing ever and it’s just…. life-changing)

youtube

BTS SPRING DAY & NOT TODAY 

 NUMBER 5 BEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF FEBRUARY 2017


hello! I’m back again to let you guys know my friend and I have added Bangtan’s ‘Spring Day’ MV to their top 10 music videos of February along with a mention of ‘Not Today’. Like the previous comeback for Blood, Sweat & Tears and Top 10 Best BTS Music Videos though we do not have complete control over the videos (they sometimes rewrite things that we’re like??? what?? we didn’t say that??)
we do this in attempts to get mainstream media to notice and appreciate the insane level of talent and production value of their work and others like it. We have also done the same for Zico’s Bermuda Triangle

so far there has been a really good response to adding these in from the fanbase but also people discovering new music. we hope to continue doing this but need your help to reblog/comment/stream/share. the more they see that it something people enjoy and want more of the more control we will have and the bigger the projects we have planned will become! :)

thanks for all the support!

Little Helper(Namjoon Smut)

{Hi, could I please make a request? [I joined tumblr not too long ago and I’m actually nervous putting forward a request since this is my first. I’ve ready your work and it’s amazing] A smut where there is an British exchange student and Namjoon helps her out around school because her Korean isn’t perfect and she’s very awkward and shy around everyone besides him. He likes speaking to her in English and after a while she opens up to him and wants to thank him by giving herself to him. He’s hesitant to have sex with her though, but she says it’s okay and they do the deed. She seems innocent but has a very kinky and rough side which she shows to Namjoon one day after school. After a while she discovers his daddy kink and yeah something like that. Sorry if it’s weird. Thank you in advance :) }

Your name: submit What is this?


Here you go!<3 @kxxkiemonsterx I hope you enjoy!


 Namjoon’s POV:

Sitting there I watched as the multitude of the student body glided across the campus. Everyone in their little clicks and gangs or the cute little nerds that decided to stay alone. It always made me feel a bit saddened to see some people walk alone but then I remembered that some people prefer to be alone and that I, myself have sometimes experienced the joys of a quiet walk by myself. Just to focus on an important test or performance that I may have to deal with that day. But lately I haven’t been able to have me time. It’s not that I dislike it, in fact I think it’s the complete opposite. Chuckling to myself I lifted a hand up to comb through my freshly dyed purple hair blue contacted eyes looking around the main campus for her.

“Looking for Y/N again?” A familiar voice asked me. Turning my head back I looked at Jin smiling sheepishly.

“Don’t sneak up on me.” I avoided the question and he clapped my back before he walked off.

“I know you’re waiting for her because you avoided my question. Have fun Namjoon. Don’t drool too much.”

Rolling my eyes, I stretched out my legs hands moving down to straighten out the lines on my crisp dark black skinny jeans. It was a bit windy today so I had to dress in warm clothes but I think I overdid it at first and I had to change out of it. Ever since she came into my life, I’ve been overthinking my outfits and instead of being myself she had me as a nervous flustered fool. Playing with my black cardigan I heard her melodic voice shaking me to my core.

“I’m sure if no one has noticed you by now they never will.” Her voice shook me right down to the core. How she addressed me in English because we both knew her Korean wasn’t that great. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face hearing the accent of her native home come out of her tongue. Biting on my bottom lip I did my best to give her a full dimpled smile because it always charmed her. “Oh put it away.” She teased moving to sit beside me. I let myself drink in the beautiful sight before me. How her beautiful hair feel down her face. How the simple white shirt and black skinny jeans fit her body not too tight or too lose just perfect accompanied by her leather jacket. She was smiling at me, and fucking hell it made me weak. Her strong scent hitting my nostrils and driving me deeper into a world of bliss. I couldn’t stop taking her in everything was breathtaking and her she was before me utterly perfect.

“Are you just going to stare at me?” She asked in Korean this time, causing a soft frown to etch across my features before I responded in English.

“Ah, is it weird that I stare at you so much? I’m sorry let’s get going then.” Of course it was fucking weird to be gawking at an exchange student. I should have known better but it was just something about her that made my heart speed up a little bit even if it was only for some seconds upon a time. Standing up I grabbed at my backpack slinging it over my left shoulder pushing my right hand into the confines of my pocket walking beside her. I could see how everyone looked at her, with curiosity or hatred. They wanted to know her story, what was she about and above all if we were a thing. At first when I saw how they glanced at us I must admit I was nervous for a few seconds, but then I decided fuck them and their judgment. I’m better off without it.

“So how was homework?” I asked Y/N. She gave me a sheepish smile jumping a bit and it seems like she was out of it too. I couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty like I was the reason she was acting that way. She responded back to my question though with her own answers. I know it must have been hard on her to be so far away from home. But she had come so far and she had done so much in this short little time span of a couple of months. I was one proud teacher of her growth. I continued to smile at her as she explained the things going on with her and how she still kind of fumbles with some speech things and her homework. I had to do my best to motivate her and encourage her because we all make fumbles and falls but the most important part is that we keep going, which she did. We had always decided to talk in English for her sake but I didn’t mind the different language because it helped me make sure I kept up on my language skills as well.

“Namjoon.” Y/N addressed me as we made our way into the building close to her first class. Humming to show I was listening I looked down at her, seeing her pull out a slip of folded white paper with a deep shade of lovely red painting her features. Wordlessly I took the slip of paper from her freezing as she stood on her tip toes and kissed my right dimple. Opening her mouth, I could feel her heat on my skin causing my eyes to flutter. I was pretty sure my own face was burning at this point. “I love it when you stare at me.” Those simple words she spoke to me as she ran into her class with a nervous chuckle waving goodbye.  I stood there like an idiot for some time after until it dawned on me that I had college algebra and I knew my ass would be handed to me if I were late again. Picking up my feet I glided myself through the crowds arriving to the class at a perfect timing. The teacher looked down her nose at me and I bowed my head apologetically moving to the back of my class to my seat.

I sat in class thinking about her. The sound of her voice when she laughed or just simply talked. When she made little squealing noises or random noises of approval as she ate. How she was so full of life and all the energy around her. My perfect little bundle of happiness. I knew deep down inside of me, I would be sad when she had to leave and maybe that was part of the reasons I never tried to be overly friendly. Just then, my mind snapped and with quick fingers I was pulling the slip of paper open that she had given to me in the hallway. My eyes feeling like they were going to pop out at any moment.

Dear Namjoon,

               I will have to leave in the next month or so, and I have been really grateful of all the things you have done for me. I wanted to give you a present but not knowing what you would really like or how to ask for it in Korean I have decided to give you my body instead. If you want this offer, please come to my address stated below. I promise I will make it worth your wild. I just want to show you how thankful I am.

                                                                                                               XoXo

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My heart was beating out loud! I was sure the teacher would look at me. She would notice I wasn’t paying attention. Was the room hot or was it just me? I couldn’t contain all the feelings inside of me. Because yes, I wanted her too, it should’ve been obvious how bad she captivated me! It was no secret I’ve snuck glances at her body especially if she had to bend over to get something and it just so happens her ass is right there to view. I tried to be discreet. Holding my notebook over my raging hard on just so that she would be comfortable. And as soon as I would get to my dorm room, I’d almost die every day trying to get my boxers off and dick in my hand to get myself off. So many tissues had been used I was surprised the cleaning ladies didn’t tell me off for it. But Y/N was leaving! So, what could I do? I didn’t want a few moments with her. If I indulged in her I know that I would want her more. I would want to be in her every waking moment, I would want to hear my name roll of her pretty pink lips. I would want to pull her hair and make sure with every snap of my hips she was a fucking puddle under me not remembering any man but me. No other name but mine. Sighing, I slipped the paper into my pocket jotting down the notes I had so carelessly forgot to take while I was caught up in my own self turmoil.

Standing in front of her apartment I didn’t know what to do. Pacing back and forth I was hesitant, to want it and to go for it. But why deny her of something she wanted to do for me? Especially when I wasn’t the only one feeling things. At least this way I could have some kind of moment with her before she left my life for a while and hopefully not for good. Squaring my shoulders and giving myself a short macho man prep talk I walked up to the door letting my fist knock against it lightly. Standing there I shoved my hands back into my pocket keeping my eyes down on my feet. After a few minutes, I got worried that this was just some joke. She was fucking with me! But before I could get too paranoid about my own thoughts the door opened. Slowly she was revealed to me, standing there with nothing but a towel around her waist. Her hair was wet, the water droplets leaving trails on her body that I just wanted to lick up so bad. My tongue darting out to lick my lips, I had no words for her. And what she did next would probably stay in my wet dreams forever. She dropped her towel revealing her body to me, everything that I had called myself imagining was nothing compared to the real deal. My mouth went dry I was too flustered to even say something beyond ‘damn.’

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to fuck me?” She questioned pulling me into her place with her hand on my belt. My body went forward, seeming to snap out of the trance I was in, I slammed the door with my foot picking her up and carrying her to her bedroom. Our lips pressing together it felt so good to finally feel her soft lips against mine. Biting down on the flesh I tried to mold our faces together kissing her with every ounce of passion I had. We knocked against some things before I had her in her bedroom and on her back on the small bed. My hands were roaming her flesh touching the wet skin and loving the feeling of it under my fingertips. She was already reacting to me arching upwards and sighing into my mouth. She bit harshly on my top lip and when I reacted with a gasp her tongue slid into my mouth. Battling me for dominance she was grabbing at my shirt, ripping at it a bit trying to get it off. I was so shocked, dizzy almost from the surprised pleasure coursing through my body. She broke the kiss first moving to slam me on the bed, I couldn’t believe my eyes and if my dick was to get any harder I felt I wouldn’t have one left. She undressed me and I let her not going against anything she wanted to do to me. Usually I took the lead and I took pride in it, but today I knew that I could let her have her fun. At least for the first round that was. She gripped onto my raging member, pressing her breast on either side of my shaft she let her mouth take me in. I groaned grabbing at her sheets knowing if I grabbed her hair I was going to bury my dick until she was crying. I watched her move her breast up and down along with her mouth, the tight suction and space had my head rolling back. Loud moans of her name rolled of my tongue slowly the room getting hotter by the second. My vision blurred it felt too good. The walls seemed to be listening to how my voice rose louder in volume and fuck her neighbors let them hear. My chest rising and falling I almost stayed there but then I remembered she said she was giving herself to me.

Leaning up, I grabbed at her hair pulling her off of my dick with a wet pop, spit trailing from her lips to my shaft. I crashed my lips against hers picking her up and slamming her lightly on the bed. Crawling in between her legs I let my lips trail down her neck wetly and towards her ear whispering hotly. “You’re my present remember? Mine to do with what I want. And right now, I want to fuck you.” I admitted ghosting my lips down her body to place more kisses on her skin. Cupping her breast, I couldn’t tease them too much, sucking on each I gave them attention before my mind wanted more of her. Moving to her heat I spread her legs wider, pressing them down against the bed I flicked my tongue up and down her slit before burying it in her tight pussy. She was so warm and she felt snug around my tongue. I was quick with my movements, I wanted to stretch her out for me, but I knew we could play after this. The heat in the air was too thick for us to waste any more time. But fuck she tasted so good, almost close to water with a sweet taste to it. How she grabbed at my hair and moaned my name had my tongue flicking every direction until I was finding her spot and abusing it. Pulling back after a few moments, I licked my lips aligning myself with her entrance. My hands moving to grab her hips, slowly I pushed inside of her, digging my nails into her skin her name rolling off my lips as I filled her up.

“Y/N..” My voice trembled out. My dick buried to the hilt inside of her warm pussy. She was so wet for me, it was sucking me in. How she squeezed around my shaft and wiggled her hips had me snapping mine forward just to feel more. Letting my hooded eyes meet her gaze I was slow to fuck her at first just wanting to stretch her out and really feel her. I wanted my mind to remember how snug her walls were around me. How she moaned out my name softly, her tiny hands gripping at my biceps. How I leaned over her and she gasped from feeling my hit a deeper angle. My hips circling to snap harder against hers and create pleasure that she would always remember. I was gone and so was she. I could feel some of her juices drip down onto my balls and it only made me loose myself more. Building up my speed slowly until I was pounding into her. The bed shaking under us as I gave her everything I had to give. My hard dick sliding inside of her wet walls creating the wet sloppy sounds of skin on skin contact.

“Slap me.” She moaned weakly and I opened my eyes wide growling.

“Excuse me?” I asked her switching my hips to angle away from her spot.

“Slap me.. Daddy.” That was it, any control I had left went out the window for this little vixen under me. One hand reaching up to grab at her throat I used it to pin her down. Shifting my hips once more to deeply fuck her pussy I lifted my hand up slapping her cheek lightly not wanting to hurt her.

“Harder!” She shouted out and I slapped her again just a tad bit harder. “You fucking hit like a girl.” She teased smirking up at me. I don’t know what felt more insulting the phrase itself of the fact that it was said in English with her accent.

Lifting my hand up to land another slap on her cheek to turn the skin red she gave a cry of yes and I smirked. She thought I was done with her. Pulling out of her I flipped her on her stomach entering her from behind without mercy. My hand swooped around her body to grab at her neck pulling her body back against mine. I slammed her down on my dick abusing her sweet little cunt with every thrust of my hips burying my dick forward. She was trying to moan but she could barely get it out, her eyelids dropping closed as my hand clamped down on her airways more. I waited until she was almost out to let her go, releasing her neck my hand went to grab at her hair, my free hand moving down to rub her clit fast and hard. I knew she was going to cum by the way she kept gasping for breath, her voice hitching and body trembling against mine. It was like her juices were a river overflowing and pouring out all for me. She cried my name out loud, hanging on by a thread as she gave me her orgasm, and I took it all delighted to say the least at the state I put her in. Kissing along her shoulder blade, I created a few more hickeys that I knew would be visible tomorrow, while she was here she was mine and everyone would know that I was the one fucking her from behind. Looking down I could see my dick entering in and out of her heat, her ass clapping back against my hips. It was too much for me, without warning I pulled out of her pushing her down on the bed, gripping at my dick I jerked it off quickly cumming thick ropes of cum in the dip of her lower back. Releasing all my pent up want for her (though there was still more) I kissed along her skin up to her shoulder blades and then the back of her head. I left the bed searching for a small wash cloth in the bathroom. Warming it with warm water I went back in the room to clean her off watching as she took deep breaths. She was glowing and she looked so flustered with her hands clinging onto the sheets. After I made sure I was cleaned up a bit I scooped her in my arms kissing her temple as she avoided my gaze.

“You didn’t want it?” I asked after a few moments of silence feeling my heart sink.

“No. NO! Of course I wanted it!” She slapped at my shoulders repeatedly and I winced squirming. “It’s just that.. Was I good enough for you?” You asked looking down at my hands. I couldn’t believe it, the girl I was so head over heels for was insecure about one of the best sexual experiences I’ve ever had in my life.

“It was all perfect, because it was with you. But of course, if you want to try your luck again.” I teased flipping her over on her back with a crooked smirk. “I’m sure I could give you a lesson on bondage and toys if you’re into learning that kind of stuff.”

I’m doing fun things lately, enjoying time with my puppy, and killing it in terms of fitness. I’m steadily improving in a lot of aspects of my life.

Yesterday I went rock climbing and almost immediately got a lifting callous torn clean off. I haven’t done that in years, but I need to stay at mixing things up for superhero training. 💪💪

Then later, I saw Wonder Woman which was the best DC movie to have come out so far in my opinion. Super recommend you checking it out if you have the opportunity.

I want to talk about Cassian...

Because of course I do. But I have been having some thoughts about him and his position both within the Inner Circle but also what he does in a wider sense for Rhys and the Night Court and the challenges he must have faced in doing so. 

“And we’re not lesser faeries, though some try to call us that. We’re just—Illyrians. Considered expendable aerial cavalry for the Night Court at the best of times, mindless soldier grunts at the worst.
“Which is most of the time,” Azriel clarified.

I want to consider how this idea must have shaped Cassian (and Azriel)’s time in the Night Court. This is the court a large chunk of which rejected Rhys – the most powerful High Lord in Prythian’s history in part because he was half-Illyrian. I don’t think it’s a huge stretch to imagine that this prideful court might not have reacted altogether that well when their armies were placed under the command of a bastard born pure Illyrian warrior like Cassian.

To them the Illyrians are ‘expendable’ or else ‘mindless soldier grunts’ they’re arrow fodder, they’re the consistent vanguard that does the brunt of the damage and takes the brunt of the blows from the oncoming battle and protects the far more important, far more valuable High Fae and faerie warriors of the Night Court behind them. They’re a shield and a battering ram, a tool to be used and little more.

I can’t imagine that they took well to having Cassian placed over them as commander, no matter how he might have proved himself in battle these sort of stereotypes and ways of thinking aren’t something you overcome because of a few good war stories. I can only imagine the backlash that Cassian suffered as a result of this and how these people he would lay down his life to protect more than likely thought him entirely unworthy of his position, unworthy of respect, unworthy of the honour of command, unworthy to lead them.

But I don’t really want to focus too much on that aspect of it. I want to focus on Cassian. And I want to focus on the way in which I think he would have won these warriors over (because he still commands Rhys’ armies. If he’d been unable to do so, unable to earn their loyalty and obedience he wouldn’t)

Methods of controlling/keeping subjects and inferiors in line is something that is brought up in this series. It’s not given a huge amount of attention but it is there. Tamlin is a good example of the other side of Cassian’s coin.

Tamlin and the Spring Court before him is steeped in a tradition of control and control through fear. This is seen on a small scale with the way in which Tamlin responds to Lucien pushing back, he belittles Lucien, “Did I ask for your opinion?”  and uses his considerable power to punish Lucien for an insolent look (a punishment we’re never shown which adds to the sense of fear) 

But it’s seen on a larger scale with the Tithe. People are expected to pay their dues to him and they turn up and do so yes because it’s a symbiotic balance in a way – they provide for Tamlin and he keeps them safe – but also from the fear of him hunting them down and executing them if they don’t do as they’re commanded.

This method is no doubt successful but in the long term it has some very serious, gaping flaws. Ruling with fear leaves little room for anything else and I don’t think it inspires a whole lot of loyalty or respect.

The flip side of this is I think the method that Cassian would have used to bind his warriors to him. I can’t see Cassian ordering brutal punishments or executions for those who refuse to fall in line with him (largely because initially this would likely have meant executing pretty much everyone) I don’t think fear or brutality would have appealed in the least to Cassian (I don’t think he’s a pushover; and if someone betrays them or acts out of turn he will punish them) but initially, making people fall in because they fear him isn’t something I can see him doing.

I think Cassian would have won them to him with love. With compassion and empathy and that heart of his. I think Cassian, the greatest warrior Rhys has ever known, doesn’t use that aspect of himself to command fear and make his men too terrified of his wrath to disobey them – I think he inspires love in his men and I think this love breeds the loyalty and respect that Tamlin is lacking which is why Cassian has been so successful as a commander in the past.

Rhys loosed a breath. “…I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes even mourn them.

There’s such compassion in Cassian, raw, strong, utterly unapologetic compassion. I think that in spite of being one of the strongest Illyrians in history and being loaded with the killing power, despite everything that’s been done to him and everything he’s seen Cassian retains quite a tender heart. Which is so rare from this type of male character? The cocky warrior with the skills and title to back that up is allowed to have that gentleness to him, is allowed to respond to the things he’s done in this way, is allowed to throw his guts up after killing, is allowed to mourn his enemy because he feels what he’s done so keenly.

Cassian is a warrior at heart. Born and bred and trained to be one of the best killers in Prythian but I think he’s far deeper and more complex than that. He is not only a warrior. He is a trainer and a brother, a friend, a lover and a dreamer. He is not defined by this warrior status. He is not a bloodthirsty killer who delights in battle and argues for war as the way forward in every instance. He is a fighter – the best Rhys has ever come across – but he doesn’t relish it. He doesn’t relish violence or death. He doesn’t take any pleasure in it. He doesn’t claim glory from the things he’s done or the title he holds.

Cassian shrugged, wings tucking in tighter. “I command Rhys’s armies.”
As if such a position were something that one shrugged off. 

But for Cassian that is the way he responds to it because that may be the title that he holds but it is not who he is. It does not define him. His pride does not lie in the number of warriors he has at his disposal, the number of men he can send to slaughter and die. It does not lie in the great, bloody deeds he’s done in war. It does not lie in the people he has killed. It lies in the people he has saved. Which is why Cassian mourns his enemies, the people he’s killed, the people that need not have died, the people that might have been saved and weren’t. All of them. Friend or foe.

When she finally noticed Cassian, she looked up at him.
His voice was rough as he said, “Five hundred years ago, I fought on battlefields not far from this house. I fought beside human and faerie alike, bled beside them. I will stand on that battlefield again, Nesta Archeron, to protect this house—your people. I can think of no better way to end my existence than to defend those who need it most.”

This I think is one of the most telling and important moments for sussing out who Cassian is and that last line in particular I think is one of the most defining Cassian quotes I can think of. It tells you what he values, it tells you what he loves, it tells you why he fights which is the most important question for someone like Cassian in the position that he’s in. He must always be ready to fight and die; he must always be able to rationalise it and justify it and live with it afterwards especially when he responds to death the way he does: he must know why he fights and what for.

This is a man who fights because he must. This is a man who fights not for glory or honour or riches or legacy or for the simple pleasure of violence and killing. This is a man who fights for love. For compassion. A man who does these things because he has to, to protect those who cannot protect themselves - for this he will die, for this he will blacken his soul and bloody his hands with the acts of war that make him sick to his stomach again and again and again. To defend those who need it most.

The wrappings around my hands were now mere smudges of soot. Cassian’s upraised palms remained before me—ready to take the blow, if I needed to make it. “I’m all right,” he said quietly. Gently.
And maybe I was exhausted and broken, but I breathed, “I killed them.”
I hadn’t said the words aloud since it had happened.
Cassian’s lips tightened. “I know.” Not condemnation, not praise. But grim understanding.

This whole scene is beautifully written and put together and incredibly moving and it’s something I fully intend to meta on and pick apart much more completely than this when I reach it again in ACOMAF. But for Feyre for her recovery, for her grief and guilt this moment where she expresses it out loud is a huge turning point for her and incredibly important. But for Cassian too, for understanding him it’s hugely important for his character as well.

This was one of the first moments where I truly saw Cassian; saw the man behind the fighting leathers and the cocky smiles, saw to that burning heart he has inside. This is a point at which you realise that Cassian is a fighter and a warrior and a killer but in spite of all that, deep down, I don’t think that’s what defines him the most. It’s not the core of him, it’s not the heart of him. It’s an aspect of him, a very important one but it’s not the be all and end all of his character or existence.

Which again is something we very rarely see from characters like Cassian who are built up to be great warriors and fighters. They’re so rarely allowed to have the raw emotion that Cassian has. They would so rarely be allowed to make an admission like this, to respond in this way to an act of selfless heroism. He doesn’t try and rationalise it for her or justify it or offer her glory or try and brush it off. He doesn’t pity her. He doesn’t condemn her. He doesn’t praise her. He just understands her.

This is a man of empathy. A man who looks at Feyre Cursebreaker, the girl they hero worship for the thing that makes her vomit her guts up every single night, the thing that torments her awake and asleep, the thing that makes her feel that ‘it should have been me’ and simply says ‘I know’.

 Cassian understands this, understands her, because when history remembers them their legacy will not be cold sweats and fickle dreams. It will not be their grief and sadness for every death on every side. It will be as heroes. With no thought of the price of that heroism, the weight they carry, the blood they can never wash off. It will remember him as the army leader, one of the strongest Illyrians in history, the greatest warrior of his age. It will remember the people he killed. The great deeds he performed. The slaughter and the glory of the warrior incarnate. I hope it does not forget why. I hope it does not forget his heart.