this is the best screencap i have ever taken in my life

another fucking ryden masterpost

ok i know we have a lot already but not many are ~complete~ enough ot have been updated recently so yeah! here we go………………………


so as we all know, ryan has a questionable livejournal that he used before panic really became famous. there’s not a whole lot of ryden related stuff in that, but there is some cute stuff 

“duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude write about how… wait, nvm. i suck at this. i suck at life. psh, YOU suck. I HATE YOU! haha you know i love ya’ baby! wednesday. practice. be there or be…GAY!” honestly early 2000′s brendon is a treasure.

and another cute post from his lj (that I dont have the screencap for)

“I love my 3 friends to death. we are going to move out and see the country together playing music. I know it.”
ryan on august 8th. 2004.

well he was right!! because soon after Pete Wentz contacted them to try to sign them. you can read the conversation here but here’s the best part:

Pete Wentz (7:48:06 PM): You guys look good. The chicks gonna be swooning?
Ryan Ross (7:48:38 PM): once we get a keyboard player who can do all of the sampling we want to do it will be alot better too. its like we know how we want to sound, but just finding the right way to do it i guess is what we are working on.
Ryan Ross (7:48:40 PM): hahaha
Ryan Ross (7:48:51 PM): i dont know man, we look alright i guess
Ryan Ross (7:48:57 PM): we look young
Pete Wentz (7:49:42 PM): Youngs not abd at all
Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look
Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy.
Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he’s no pete wentz. but still

So now, we move to 2006. this is where ryden becomes real as hell.

Ryan and Brendon both were dating scene queens (you can see my posts of Brendon and Audrey here and Ryan and Jac here)

The relationships didn’t last too long, and after the couples split the girls both claimed the boys to to be gay together.

There is also a supposedly leaked conversation between the girls where they again claim that R&B (lol) are gay together.

slamcrashp33n: Hi. How big/small is brendon uries penis.
twiggofviolence: About 4.5 hard
twiggofviolence: I feel bad for him
slamcrashp33n: Dude me too.
twiggofviolence: Lets not start humilating rumors for him?
slamcrashp33n: Ahhahaha no way dude.
twiggofviolence: I trust u
slamcrashp33n: No. I trust youuuuu
twiggofviolence: he always wanted to have butt sex I think he might be
bisexual
twiggofviolence: I wouldn’t let him though
twiggofviolence: That’s gnarly
slamcrashp33n: dude fuck yeah. Don’t let him do the flipover on you.
Right?
twiggofviolence: Fuck no
slamcrashp33n: Fuck yeah.
twiggofviolence: Him and ryan probably do now
twiggofviolence: I honestly think there’s something goin on
slamcrashp33n: Dude I’ve been calling that shit from the beginniing
slamcrashp33n: No one believes me!
twiggofviolence: Me too whenever I was on tour I’d wake up and they
would be sitting in the lounge together alone at like 7am
slamcrashp33n: That’s shady as shit. Did you call him on it back then?
twiggofviolence: Yeah he said there just “best friends” but he’d rather
sleep with ryan in the lounge then me sometimes in his bed
twiggofviolence: Go figure
twiggofviolence: I just thought he couldn’t sleep on the bus but now I’m
like wow..
slamcrashp33n: dude I always thought he used you as a cover up.
twiggofviolence: I wouldn’t be surpised
twiggofviolence: Honestly haha
slamcrashp33n: Wow that’s some traumatizing shit.
slamcrashp33n: Yo do you have a british accent?
twiggofviolence: Haha sucks for him more I’d hate to be fmaous and try
and hide that I’m gay
twiggofviolence: Nah
slamcrashp33n: Dude if he’s gay then he should be proud. Wellll all of
his 11 yr old followers wouldn’t be fans anymore so I guess I see why he
hies it
slamcrashp33n: Hidesss
twiggofviolence: Haha yeha he’s probaly embaressed since all him fans
are so younge they would be confused
slamcrashp33n: They probably wouldn’t even know what gay was
twiggofviolence: True
slamcrashp33n: Dude jac didn’t answer when I asked her about ryan. Do
you know?
twiggofviolence: Hahaha nope no clue
slamcrashp33n: I bet brendon knows hahhaa
twiggofviolence: Oh duh
slamcrashp33n: Okay I’m off. Thanks for the info.
twiggofviolence: Have fun tell everyone u know
twiggofviolence: Haha
slamcrashp33n: Hhhahah yeah I figured you didn’t really care about
humiliating rumors

so that brings us to the most important event in recorded history ever! summer of 2006! 

First off, a ridiculously important interview Greta Salpeter from the Hush Sound did after they toured with panic:

Q: Tell us about your craziest touring experience.

On the 2006 Panic Tour, we played the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach [JUNE 24TH]. After the show, most of the bands and crew walked a mile to the beach and, having not brought our swimsuits, decided to swim in underwear or totally nude. Bob and I opted to skinny dip and, at one point, he was trying to get back to the shore but the waves were crashing over him and he was gasping for breath. I yelled to him, ‘Bob, are you going to live? As much as I want to help you, we are both naked so I can’t.’ (Would have been far too awkward). Thankfully, he survived in one glorious piece. 

The next night, Ryan made this infamous entry on his livejournal:


6-25-06 01:21:28 PDT - (No Subject)

The moon bred new Atlantic life tonight.the salt burned you right out of my eyes.and secrets we’re not proud of were taken with the tide. We were all newborns with blurred vision and no sense of direction.

Today I saw cancer, cigarettes and shortness of breath.
this is why I walk to the ocean.swim with jellyfish.I may never get this chance again.
this is why if you want to kiss you should kiss.
If you want to cry you should cry, and
if you want to live you should live.
You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.it’s for lovers (orjustfriends)
This is why I do it.

Then Dream, one of the dancers who was on tour with them at the time, also wrote this in her journal:

June 24th, 2006
It’s our last night in Florida and let me tell you… this finally turned into a crazy rock tour… lots of shenanigans happened tonight… but I’ll save this story for the memoirs! Every night I stand on stage and tell the crowd that Brendon is a virgin… let’s just put it this way… it ain’t true!!!!

(Here’s a cute video where Brendon looks good as hell and Ryan says he’s no longer a virgin)

Then, the end of summer. Panic play an iconic show at the MTV VMAs at the end of August (a video for anyone who hasn’t seen.) This is where Ryan meets Keltie who becomes his girlfriend for a while.

2007 comes and passes and not a lot happens, as they were away (fucking) in a cabin and writing Pretty. Odd. However, something important did happen!! 

Ryan’s 21st birthday. His party was in New York City

Brendon wasn’t in NYC at the time, he was in rainy Seattle (important!!!). After the party, Ryan flew out to Seattle (apparently not warming Keltie). 

*scooby doo villain voice* and he would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those darn fan pics!

(I couldn’t find the original picture I’m sorry to whoever this fan, this hero is)

This event is believed to be the inspiration to Northern Downpour (Seattle is rainy and in the north… ryden is real) The song also had the lyrics,

I missed your skin when you were east,

You clicked your heels and wished for me.

Ryan was in the east coast….. anyway………

finally, 2008. Good year for ryden.

First off, here’s something from on Dylan Urie’s (Brendon and Shane’s dog) myspace:

Aug 11, 2008 7:33 PM
Subject:  awaking from summer dreams is never easy,  
Body:  but being awoken makes it so much worse.

as summer comes to an end we lose and gain so much.
summer lovers become part time lovers, then slowly fade to just a simple memory.
maybe it’s not so simple to some of us, though.
maybe we can’t just forget at the first leaf of autumn.
maybe we remember every detail until our last breath of air.
maybe we really aren’t okay when asked.
maybe we’re holding on, as we watch them let go.

sometimes, it is quite apparent that our “significant other” doesn’t feel the same.
we deal, because we know that there has to be something there.

a twinkle in an eye. a shock when we kiss. whatever it is, it’s there.
and maybe one day they’ll notice it too.

you know, i’ve never really liked days off.
they make me think too much.

it’s time to start loving to live, not living to love.
we can only give so much without anything in return.

this was pretty much just something i completely made up because i wanted to say i had a totally awesome summer.
then again, maybe it’s not so fictional for most of us after all?
summer’s almost over kiddos.
time to get back to filling those brains of yours’ with knowledge or maybe just nonsense with a degree.

stay smart,
xo 

You’ll start to notice that in several of both Ryan and Brendon’s lyrics (even now), they repeatedly refer to “living in a dream” or things along that line. (if you look back to the poem posted on Dylan’s myspace, the subject line reads “awaking from summer dreams are never easy.”)

Finally, in March 2008, Pretty. Odd. is released. the most important album of all time. The album had repeated references to the ocean (where ryden supposedly has sex), the summer, and dreams.

Northern Downpour “we should feed our jewelry to the sea
When the Day Met the Night. “in the middle of summer”
Behind the Sea (self explanatory)
Folkin’ Around “Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two Where summers lasted longer than Longer than we do”
She Had the World “Throwing a line out to sea To see if I can catch a dream”
From a Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins “Watch love get strangled by a kite’s cold strings Fall comes early and summer leaves As a storm with the car keys”
She’s a Handsome Woman “Reverie” is another word for dream.
Northern Downpour “If all our life is but a dream”
Behind the Sea “A daydream spills from my corked head”
She Had the World “Throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream

Also something I noticed as I was looking through these lyrics (I noticed a lot but this is the only one where I’m not reaching too hard) in That Green Gentleman, these are the lyrics:

Little deaths in musical beds.
So it seems I’m someone I’ve never met.

You will only hear these elegant crimes,
Fall on your ears from criminal dimes.
They spill unfound from a pretty mouth. 

The word for orgasm is French translates into “little death.” I interperet the second verse to talking about when Jac and Audrey revealed Ryden, but thats just me.

Another thing that becomes important is references to the sun/moon. Most people consider Brendon to be the sun and Ryan to be the moon. Even today they still talk about this.

Also, there is many instances of Pretty. Odd. lyrics referencing a gay poet, Arthur Rimbaud.

Mas as Rabbits: We must reinvent love.

AR: I don’t like women, love must be reinvented, that’s for certain.

She’s a Hansome Woman: I wasn’t born to be a skeleton

AR: I wasn’t born to be a skeleton.

Behins the Sea: Yes, we’re all too smart to talk to God.

AR: Does he talk to God? Perhaps I myself should go talk to God.

Mad as Rabbits:  Preached the devil in the belfry


Also, just for bonus, I added in two of my fave ryden pictures of all time…..

in which ryans shirt button gets fucked up and Brendon’s shirt comes off… anyway….. here’s another picture (I’m trying to keep this as picture-free as possible because I know it makes it super hard on mobile users)

I am loving Ryan’s Brendon bracelet!

Another random thing: Spencer and Jon did an interview with out.com and had this to say:

Walker: And what’s the problem if Ryan and Brendon were actually dating, you know? There’s not really any problem with that.
Smith: Because they might be.

So now, 2009. The end of Ryden. 

Ryan and Jon left in July and there’s no more ryden. Now, we just have to use songs released by everyone’s side projects to get our Ryden fix (and there is so much……….)

The Young Veins (2010)

CAPE TOWN!: You asked me if I meant everything I said that night, I didn’t./I loved you, I left you, I lost you in Cape Town. (also: the last pre-split panic show was in Cape Town)

Maybe I Will, Maybe I Won’t:  Will you come visit me, finally finding sleep, we’ll swim around in dreams, stay afloat

Everyone But You:  She comes to me when I dream, I’m tired of counting sheep to see her, I sleep because I need her.

Dangerous Blues:  All I do is lie by the ocean side/Even the tide gets high at night.

Lie to the Truth: I know I broke your heart, mine is broken too. Now if we’re even, why are we both blue?

Panic! at the Disco

(2011)

Memories:  When they decided they would try to make it on their own/When July became December, their affection fought the cold. But they couldn’t quite remember, what inspired them to go.

Trade Mistakes:  I may never sleep tonight as long as you’re still burning bright. If I could trade mistakes for sheep, count me away before you sleep. I’ll stay awake till I trade my mistakes or they fade away.

The Calender (confirmed to be about the split):  Put another X on the calendar, summer’s on its deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends. And I meant everything I said that night. (last lyrics is a response to Cape Town)

Nearly Witches:  Matching set of marching clocks, the slumbering apparitions that they’ve come to wake up. (clearly referencing behind the sea)

(2013)

Vegas Lights:  Oh, if you only knew what we’ve been up to, I guarantee you’d keep it secret. So give it to me now, we’re lost in a dream now

(2015)

Hallelujah:  The time for being sad is over and you miss him like you miss no other, and being blue is better than being over it. (a response to Ryan’s question in Lie to the Truth)

Ryan Ross (2014)

Where I Belong: I know I should’ve never left, I’d gotten tired of being buried.

Lonely Moonlight: I’m not even going to decipher this the name is enough

So that’s the gist of it! I made this whole thing in five hours and by the time I finished it was 2am so forgive my typos. ryden is real

Sic Parvis Magna

** Spoilers for Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End

About 10 years ago, before I was into Supernatural and going to cons, and when I hadn’t touched a camera since high school, I was isolated at home. I was going to uni to finish my degree, but what should have taken three years took me seven. I had lost touch with all my friends. I was, and still am, chronically, medically depressed. 

I had a PS3 and an XBox360, and I was a pretty hardcore gamer. Uncharted, Assassin’s Creed, and Bioshock were all my jam. They still are my jam. But Uncharted was always my favourite. I got a Platinum (got every trophy) on Uncharted 1, 2, and 3. When Uncharted 2 came out with a multiplayer, I levelled up to over 40, and almost did the same in Uncharted 3. For me though, Uncharted was about the characters. I fell in love with Nate, I wanted to be Elena, and I wanted a best friend like Sully. 

Then SPN came along, and with it conventions. I picked up a camera again. Suddenly the world opened up and I was traveling to other countries by myself, making friends all over the world, capturing it all with my camera. When the PS4 console came out, I didn’t have the money to buy it. I was working, but everything was going to travel and photography equipment and cons. I was sad, because Uncharted 4 was going to be one of the first games to come out and I knew it was the last in the series. I was slightly freaking out that it was called “A Thief’s End”, thinking that they might kill off Nate, or Elena, or Sully. I watched while other people got the game, and my friend Schmelke got it and told me it was really good. I didn’t tell him why I was asking him so much. I was happy with where I was, I didn’t regret that I didn’t have the money to spend right then. I still don’t; photography is my world now. 

Fast forward to this year. This is the longest I will be going without going to a convention. I could feel myself backsliding slightly, so I thought, “Okay. You deserve it. Save up and buy a PS4.” So I did. I bought Uncharted 4, and in between work and editing photos I started playing it. 

I just finished the story last night. I sat there when the black credits scene came over, suddenly the room getting dark and I cried. I knew I would be sad; I even joked that I would cry. But I didn’t realise I actually would. I cried so much. 

(These screenshots were all taken in-game while I was playing - PS4 has a share feature, that lets you take screencaps. It was kind of like doing photography during the game, so win-win for me!) 

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, I think it’s to try to make sense of it myself. I’m not one of those people who thinks you need to apologise for loving something, or feeling passionate about something. I think it was because it felt like these characters that had come into my life when I was so vulnerable were getting their happy ending, and for me that felt like hope. It felt cathartic, like saying goodbye not only to these characters but to a part of myself that was still there deep inside me. It’s hard to say goodbye though. Really hard. To say I got a look at what it will feel like for many people when SPN ends isn’t a stretch. 

I keep coming back to that feeling of hope though. The girl in me that was so lost was still there, but she was winning more than she was losing. In the game and in life. 

P.S. “en garde, dickhead” has to be one of my favourite lines of anything ever. 

3

TELEVISION REVIEW: The Librarians Season 3 Episode 8, “And The Eternal Question” dir. Noah Wyle
Starring: Rebecca Romijn, Christian Kane, Lindy Booth, John Harlan Kim, John Larroquette, Noah Wyle
Guest Starring: Clara Lago, Rafael Cebrian, Norma Maldonado
Rating: 5/5

Review Summary: I was not prepared for this level of gay.

AKA: REVIEWING CASSANDRA CILLIAN’S GAY HISTORY

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