this is the best picture i could creep

ruin the friendship / tom holland x reader (part II)

Originally posted by tbholland

do all the things on our minds
what’s taking us all this time?
let’s ruin the friendship.

part II / ? 

song that goes with this part: dusk till dawn by zayn and sia


until there was a knock on the door that pulled him away, snapping him back into reality, thinking that kissing his best friend wasn’t a good idea.

the door opened to reveal a female wearing all black and a headset.

“oh, gosh, did i interrupt something?” she asked, he scratched the back of his neck as she turned a crimson color. 

kind of, he thought, but he didn’t dare say out loud.

“no, no.” the words tumbled out of his mouth,”what’s up?”

“they need you for set.” said the female before showing a shy smile. he nodded before moving away from his best friend.

“i’ll-uh, see you after?” he asked and she nodded, giving him a small smile. returned it before he walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. she landed on the cream colored sofa with a groan. 

she couldn’t believe that something she’s wanted for ages, almost came true, but then was crushed to pieces by that stupid girl in the headset. she pulled her phone out, checking all her social medias. 

soon, he had returned, a smile on his face as he walked through the door. he felt his heart swoon as he realized she was asleep on the couch. he pulled his phone out of his back pocket, realizing it said 8:34 pm, and since she was probably jet lagged and she had a long day of traveling that it’d be best if he let her sleep.

he sat down on the couch, being careful not to disturb her as he sat down. she moved softly, cuddling into his chest as she sleepily adjusted herself. he sat still, not daring to wake her up as she was getting comfortable. he let her fall back asleep into his chest, a smile on his face as she hugged at his torso, her head nuzzled into his shirt. 

he smiled down at her, taking in her facial features as she slept soundly. she practically had him wrapped around her finger. he would do anything for her, yet he didn’t know that she’d do the same for him.

as he played with her hair softly, the door opened to reveal a loud talking Jacob and Harrison. he immediately hushed them as they looked at him in confusion. Harrison’s face lit up.

“is that y/n?!” he asked, making Jacob’s mouth agape and his eyebrows raise.

“wait, is that the girl you’ve been talking about for ages?!” he asked slowly. he rolled his eyes at his two best friends, wanting to take back those night’s he’d talk about y/n and her boyfriend and how he’d been so mad that it wasn’t him who was treating her like a princess.

but little did he know, that ended months ago. y/n and her boyfriend had broken up, well, technically, she caught him cheating and dumped him. she wanted to tell Tom, she really did, but she wasn’t sure if it was such a good idea because of how mad he would’ve gotten. 

“yes, now shut up. she’s sleeping.”

they rolled their eyes,”you’re so whipped, dude.”

“how can i be whipped if she’s got a boyfriend?” he asked the blonde haired boy who had spoken up before him.

“Tom, what are you talking about?” Harrison had asked, utterly confused. the blonde then put the pieces together, his mouth forming into an ‘o’ shape.

“did she not tell you?” he asked, Jacob sat back, enjoying the juicy drama unfolding in front of him. 

“uhh, no.” Tom asked confused as well. 

“he cheated on her and she caught him and she dumped him.” he said,”it was a rough time. i thought she had talked to you about it, but i guess i was the only one.”

Tom looked down at the angel sleeping upon him. how could someone so cruel hurt such an amazing human being like her? she was so genuine, so kind, funny, smart, elegant. his heart broke for her.

“wait, so Tom, you can date her!” Jacob perked up, Harrison nodded in agreement. the two of them had wanted the both of them to get together since he first mentioned he liked y/n. 

“no, no, no.” Tom said,”i’m not ruining a friendship.”

“Tom, mate, she literally likes you! you can’t see it?” asked Harrison. Tom raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“she doesn’t, i highly doubt she’d like me.”

“Tom, you’re being so stubborn.” Harrison rolled his eyes,”she literally told me a month ago that she liked you, mate. and she’s finally single. there should be nothing holding you back!”

right then, he felt his heart stop. the world around him stopped spinning. the girl he wanted wanted him back. he felt a blush creep onto his cheeks as he looked down at her in his arms. he could already picture himself laying like that with her forever.

“you’re not playing with me, right?” he asked his best friend. 

“no, dude, why would i lie about that?” he asked. Tom smiled.

“i’m finally getting something i’ve always wanted.” he said. his two friends smiled at the scene in front of them, finally happy for their friends. 

the two finally walked into the house after a long day. she looked tired as she had just woken up from her nap about 2 hours ago, but inside she was bubbling with energy.

“so, anything new and exciting happen?” he asked, starting up a conversation.

she wanted to tell him what happened, but she didn’t know how, so for now, it was her’s and Harrison’s little secret.

or so she thought.

“pretty good,” she lied, in reality, it was hell on earth without him back in London,”how about things here? all well?”

he nodded,”you still with your boyfriend?”

her heart went to her throat. she didn’t want to lie to him about her ex forever, but if she told him what happened, it might be worse.

“uh-” she started,”uhm, a-actually, we broke up a while ago.” 

Tom gave a look of sympathy,”oh, damn. i’m sorry.”

no he’s not. he’s glad that she dumped that no good asshole.

“eh, he’s an asshole. i guess i just finally came to my senses about him.”

he nodded as she put him in the spotlight,”how about you, Holland? got a lucky girl to call your own?”

he laughed,”uhm, no actually, no girlfriend.”

se pulled her eyebrows together,”how come?”

he shrugged,”just haven’t found anyone worth the while. plus, i’ve kind of got my sights set on someone else already.”

she raised her eyebrows as she felt her heart shatter, the man she loves just said he liked someone and she knew it would never be her.

“but, my real question is, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, she looked at him confused.

“what are you talking about?”

“why did you never tell me you liked me?”

her eyes widened as shock ran through her body. she immediately tensed up.

“who-who said that?”


i’m so killing him, she thought.

“no, no, okay, i don’t like you.” she stumbled on her words as a smirk tugged at his lips,”and if i did, i dont want to ruin my friendship with you.”

he made his way to where she was standing at the island. his body pressed against hers as a gasp escaped her lips.

“trust me, darling.” he said, his face so close to hers that she could feel his minty breath. his lips hovered over hers, only driving her crazy.

“what do you say, love? let’s risk it and ruin the friendship?” 

his lips grazed over hers before she couldn’t take it anymore. she reached up and grabbed his neck, her mouth meeting his as he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her back with just as much love and passion.

and that’s where it all started.

introduction    part I    part III

tags: @lostamongstthecosmos @feeling-straange

Hot & Bothered (M)

You decide to slightly tease your close friend Minhyuk, but things take a turn…

Protagonists: Minhyuk (MX) & you

Word Count: 2,5k

Genre: Friends to lovers - Smut

Lyly’s note: This a repost of my first fic. I got inspired by the photo teaser for MX’s Beautiful comeback. I was worthy of being their first win, so I didn’t fix the storyline. Minhyuk is dangerously climbing my bias list… HWAITING ;)


From where you are standing, you can just see the back of his newly red hair, moving excitedly as he talks nonstop about how awesome it’s going to be. You only imagine how bright his expression is and you know very well the night is going to be constant babbling about Monsta X’s new comeback. You don’t mind though. If Minhyuk has free time, you are pleased to hang out with him. His next few months are going to be hectic and you will probably not be able to see each other often.

“Did you?” He turns his attention away from the coffee pot, questioning you with a raised eyebrow.

“Enh? Sorry.”

“Did you see my teaser picture, it got released today?” He smiles brightly.

“Oh yeah, the fans loved it, it was everywhere on the internet and my Instagram feed.”

“Soooo, y/n what did you think?! Did you love it?! Didn’t I look fine!?” He yells excitedly, making Jooheon in the living room loudly sigh.

A faint blush creeps on your cheeks at the thought of that picture. When you opened your Instagram that morning, you almost choked on your coffee. Yes, you had eyes and had always been conscious that Minhyuk was gorgeous. But that picture blew the cute and fluffy image you had of him. It was somewhat mesmerizing and sexy; you never thought you could see him like that. You guys had been instant best friends since he talked to you on a broadcast a year ago, loud as ever and a mess of giggles.

“Well, yeah. I kind of… loved it… I guess.” The corners of your mouth curl up to a little smile as you watch him get confused and a bit worried.

“Wait, did you love it or not?” He pouts.

Here’s the catch about being an Idol. No matter how hot and adored you are, that kind of spotlight brings out self-consciousness and deep insecurities. You give a quick glance at Wonho, who is watching a movie with Jooheon on the couch. That man is the epitome of that statement. Turning your attention back to your friend Minhyuk, you decide to tease him in a different way. You abruptly close the space between you in the kitchen, grab his shoulders and tiptoe to his ears.

“It got me all hot and bothered.” You whisper, breathing out a little too much to make sure it tickles him. He fidgets and opens his mouth in surprise. With a smirk, you release his shoulders and turn around to grab a mug. After all, you were both there to get some coffee. As you are stretching your right arm above your head, you feel Minhyuk lean close against your back. The heat of his body warms you through your thin t-shirt as he whispers in your ear.

“And are you hot right now?”  The tickling sensation sends shivers down your spine. You always friendly teased each other, but this feels somewhat different. Normally, he would have blushed, laughed it up and complained loudly about how he doesn’t like being tickled. You didn’t expect him to tease you right back. Before you can form a coherent response, he closes his arms around your waist and you feel his breath slowly go down in the curve of your neck.

“Because… I am.” He is close enough for you to feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest. You are hot. It is damn hot right now. The gasp that escapes your mouth gives him the confidence to push the teasing a bit further; he grabs your hips pressing you onto him even more and hums in your neck as he drops little wet pecks.

The guys in the living room burst out laughing and you both freeze, before realizing it’s about their movie and has nothing to do with you. Minhyuk seems to start to breathe again and moves an adventurous hand up your skirt, his touch leaving your warm skin on fire. He moans faintly in your neck as he reaches your ass, turning you on even more. Now you are really bothered.

“Minhyuk-ah…” You spin around to face him, putting you hand over his chest to look at him. He holds your gaze for a few seconds that feel like an eternity and hesitantly leans in to kiss you. His lips are soft and wet and you let yourself melt against his chest. You don’t know how. You never saw him as more than a friend before, but he has managed to ignite something in your stomach. You hear him chuckle proudly at the effect he has on you, so you push him away just enough to lift your right thigh in-between his legs and gently press his erection. You stare at him, blinking innocently as he frowns and let out a small grunt. You rub back and forth leisurely and you can feel him getting harder in his tight pants. You are enjoying the friction just as much, but this little game has to end quickly before you both get caught.

“It’s warm right now, but isn’t your room even more heated?” You playfully ask, brushing against his lips. His giggle reassures you, so familiar and comforting, clashing with your whole new dynamic. He turns his head to observe Jooheon and Wonho, seemingly remembering they were there the whole time. Thankfully, the boys are still absorbed in their action movie. Without a word, Minhyuk leaves you there hanging, his spot filling up with cold air. The sudden absence of his body against yours makes you crave him even more. You follow closely behind him, crossing the dorm, trying to look as normal as you could.

“Guys, you have the living room, so we’re gonna watch a horror movie in my room.” He knows very well neither of those scaredy-cats will ask to join in, but as he opens the door Wonho cries out. “Yah!” You stop right in your tracks and give a panicked look to Minhyuk. Is he being suspicious of something? Has he seen you in the kitchen just now? Oh god. Why else would he react, you already watched plenty of movies alone in that same room before.

“Do you guys want the rest of the popcorn?” Wonho doesn’t even take his gaze away from the screen and you step in the room with an audible sigh of relief, followed by Minhyuk. “No need, thanks hyung!” As soon as he closes the door, Mr. Cool-Guy pushes you against the wall and fierly kisses your lips. “Wow y/n, you looked like a little kid being caught doing something illegal!” He laughs in your half-opened mouth and you slap his arm to make him stop.

A somewhat more serious Minhyuk starts to explore your mouth with his tongue, bringing his finger under your chin to lift your head up. One of your hands begins to get lost in his hair, still abnormally soft from the new dye, while your other is making a way under his shirt. He lets out a grunt when you touch his boiling skin and you feel his abs contracting as you trail your fingers to his back, grabbing his shoulder. He abandons your lips to nib on your ear, leaving you panting for more.

You decide that his pants are probably very uncomfortable by now and successfully lower them enough to expose the bulge of his erection in his tight briefs. He sighs in relief, pressing himself on your leg, while his fingers are unclasping your bra. Well trying to unclasp your bra. It’s your turn to giggle now. “Don’t laugh.” He warns you with authority as he succeeds against the hooks. But he just laughed at me. You lean in and bite the base of his neck as revenge. “Did you just bite me?” Frowning from the slight ache Minhyuk backs away and sits on his bed, taking off his pants.

“You were right; it’s scorching hot in here.” He smiles and playfully throws his t-shirt at you. You hold his lustful gaze, slowly taking off your t-shirt and your unhooked bra, walking towards him. He stretches out a hand and pulls you on the bed. You can’t help but to remember in disbelief, all the nights you laid there next to him actually watching a movie. Minhyuk brings you back in the present cupping one of your breasts, teasing your nipple with his tongue, while one of his hands reaches underneath your skirt. You moan his name and he hums on your skin in approval, his fingers painfully slowly trailing up your inner thigh. You are panting in anticipation as he reaches your soaked panties but he stops and peeks up at you, an accusing look on his face. “You always come here wearing those kinds of skirts, I’m a man too. You know?” Oh, you know.  Maybe you didn’t pay much attention to it before, but you definitely know better now. “Point taken, I will wear skirts more often.”

You whine as he smiles and dig your nails in his shoulders hoping he will take the hint. He climbs back up to kiss your lips and presses his thumb to your panties. You gasp in the kiss and slide one hand to grab one of his ass cheeks, feeling the muscle contract under your touch. He grunts and starts to trail kisses down your chest and stomach. In no time, your skirt is toss to a corner of his room and he is down, kissing the soft skin of your inner thighs. He lets out a short laugh when he sees your cute panda panties before tossing them away and reality hits you. Why did I have to wear unsexy underwear today? You hide your face in your elbow in embarrassment.

“By the way, I’m keeping those…” Minhyuk blows his sizzling breath on your core to tease you a bit more, visibly enjoying how aroused he’s got you. You whine again and he gives you a first long lick, tasting you. He then firmly presses his tongue on your clit, making you moan loudly. Working on you with his mouth, Minhyuk starts to pump one finger inside you at a building pace. You curl your fingers in his hair, moaning more and more loudly as you feel the familiar knot in your stomach slowly beginning to untie. He adds a finger and begins to nibble on your sensitive spot until you’re dripping. Your thighs start clenching around his head and he moans against your throbbing wet core, sending you over. Your high hits you like a wave and you begin to shake uncontrollably. He holds you down, licking you until you ride off your orgasm and then climbs up next to you, panting for a few minutes.

“I never guessed you were that loud. We should have put on some music” Amused, he watches you cover your pink face with your hands.

“Do you think the guys heard?” You faintly ask.

“I certainly hope they did. Then they’ll have to stop teasing me so much about taking more than a year to make a move on you.” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Well we haven’t known each other for more than a year…”

“… I did, that’s what I’m saying. That’s why I talked to you on The Show.” Minhyuk gets up and puts some music on, letting the information of his little crush sinks in.

“We said we were watching a horror movie…” You protest as music fills the tiny room.

“Trust me. I don’t care how entertaining their movie is, by now they know what we are doing” He laughs seeing you blush again and grabs your chin to kiss you. Might as well. You climb over him in the bed, prolonging the kiss into a passionate one. One of his hands holds onto your naked hips, tracing small circles with his thumb, and the other one wanders on your back.  You start to gently rock yourself on his erection through his briefs and he grunts. His head falls in your neck and he gives you little pecks. “Gosh, I can feel how hot you are.” He muffles into your shoulder. He pushes you back on the bed, taking off his underwear. As he positions himself on top of you, he gives you a silent questioning look and you wrap your legs around his hips, already begging for him. He smirks and leans in to peck your lips before finally entering you. He starts to move after a few seconds, his grunts turning you even more on. You bite his neck again, trying to contain your own sounds as he sets pace inside you.

“Are you going to keep biting me like a kitten?” He asks you, heavily panting. You whine in his skin, trying to suppress the urge to bite him again, digging your nails in his back instead. “Don’t stop then.” He begs. You happily oblige and keep lightly biting his traps while he sinks faster and deeper with each thrust. You raise your pelvis, allowing him even deeper inside you and you both gasp. After a moment, his grunts turn into moaning your name in incoherent sentences and, as he reaches his high, he becomes a moaning mess. He thrusts harshly a few more times, making you convulse in pleasure under him before he comes undone inside you. He collapses next to you and you both wait, content, as the waves of pleasure slowly fade away. He’s even louder, at least we had music on.

After a minute, the air in the room feels cool against the sweat on your skin and it makes your body shiver. Minhyuk turns to look to you, bringing you closer in his arms. “Why are you shivering, kitten? I thought we said this room was blazing hot.” He laughs softly at your new pet name.

You get half up on one elbow, putting your head in your hand. You eye him down, admiring the small drops of sweat on his chest and the faint marks that your teeth left.

“What are you looking at kitten?” He has a faint blush on his cheeks and sounds a bit shy, even though he’s trying to be funny. His more familiar embarrassment makes you wonder how things escalated like that.

“So how the hell did you get all that glitter off?” You ask, really curious. He breaks into a contagious laugh.

“Does glitter turn you on? I should have tried that sooner” He winks. “So, you really did like that picture, enh?” He lets out his signature giggle and you hide your embarrassment in his embrace. “I think this means good luck. It’s going to be a great comeback.”

“I believe it’s going to be your first win, but what do I know? Until today, I thought you were just a friend. Nothing makes sense anymore.” You smile in his neck.

“I don’t know. I think it makes perfect sense, you and me.”


anonymous asked:

on the post about Jungkook's possible instagram, the last picture reminded me of something Namjoon posted on twitter a few days ago. There's a black and white pic of him with the brick wall and the white fence (?) and it looks exactly like the one in the picture to me. Thought I'd let you know :)

Ohmygosh, yes, you have a good eye. I checked it out and you might be onto something.

From the railing, the bricks and background it looks to me like it could be the same place. But the thing that creeps me out is namjoon posted his pictures 2 days ago and these were posted 23 hours ago. 

But the best part is that it’s not even their picture, this exact picture was posted on this instagram on 13 June. I don’t even know what to say. 

One time, in NYC, I went on a date with this girl.

We were both in art school, so I thought “yeah, we’re the pretty cool and adventurous type, this is normal” when we were getting on the Manhattan bound L train, and she suggested:

“Let’s start at opposite ends of the train, and use those little doors to walk between train cars, gathering as many numbers as we can. You have to take a picture with the people you ask too, to prove you didn’t just make their names and numbers up.”

So we go to opposite ends of the train. My date is unnaturally outgoing, so I knew 1. She would dominate this game, and 2. No matter what, I would look like an idiot.

This situation, it doesn’t play to my strengths. My basic strategy involved identifying women my age without headphones or that withdrawn, mace happy look, then wandering over, and explaining, “I’m on a date, and my date wants to play this stupid game where…”

I don’t know how many of you have crossed train cars on a moving subway train, but much to my surprise, it was by far the harder part of this game. First of all, people yell. A lot. Threats of cops are mentioned. Fools. No cell service underground, and those little intercoms don’t work. I’ve tried. Anyway, train robbery scenes in Westerns make train navigation look easier than it is, because both train cars are bobbing in a slightly different way, and it’s hard to stand on a moving train as is. The best strategy is really to lean forward, grab the handrails on the desired destination car one at a time, then leap from one car to the other in a single motion. Once inside your new car, you’re not in a great position to ask for numbers, because people avoid eye contact with the person who just entered the space like an Old West Bandit.

Everyone I explained the game situation to laughed, and almost everyone let me take their number and a picture. I guess this could have been a great pickup strategy for lying creeps circa 2012. I was even fortunate to encounter a group of two girls who were willing to pose for separate pictures with me, and give the appearance of me having done twice the work.

My suspicion was in full force about ¾ths through the train…

Through the shifting window of the penultimate car, I could see my date in the final compartment. Possibly, she got enough numbers in the first train to assure victory without any dangerous stunts. I crossed, and found her playing games on her phone.

“Okay, I got a few. How did you do?”

She put away her phone, lighting up “Oh! Let’s see them! I wasn’t actually serious, I was just kidding around and wanted to see if you’d do it.”

I’ll See You Soon? (Joshua of Seventeen)

Originally posted by lovejoshua17

Title: I’ll See You Soon?
Character: Joshua Hong (Seventeen) x OC
Genre: Fluff (A lot of people I know is having a hard time right now, probably because of exams and such, so here’s a little comfort for all of you.)

It’s a quiet night, almost half past midnight and literally anyone who is normal would already be wrapped up in the comfort of their blankets, drifting into the wonderful world of dreamland. Besides, it’s Monday tomorrow.

Well, everyone except you, of course.

It’s not that you’re not normal, you’re completely sane, to say the least. But with your midterms starting in a few days, and from the way you had been studying your head off for the past few days, maybe you are starting to lose your mind a little, from studying, that is.

Keep reading

Pas de Trois, 1.

Originally posted by kths

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Theatre!AU, Polyamory, Fluff, Angst + Smut

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: None

Summary: Sharing a stage with Jimin and Taehyung is always rewarding, but the real reward is behind the scenes.

Count: 1694 words.

Note: As mentioned before, this is a series written for @chimdeer. Thank you for the love, as well! 

Pas de Trois: Act One, Scene One

PlaylistPrologue | One → Two → Three


Inhale. You await with equability, a forefinger twiddling with loose tresses whilst observing the other auditioning individual. The ingénue is maladroit, possibly due to nervousness, and fumbles with her lines quite carelessly. “I do treat—entreat—your grace to pardon me. I know not by what power I am bold—I mean; I am made bold!” It is an amateur sight, to say the least. Once the judge’s sugar coat their true meanings behind fake smiles, “We’ll let you know of our decision very soon,” is given to the departing candidate and they sigh in unison as the door closes. The two adjudicators mumbled to themselves, scribbling down their remarks on a sheet of paper before glancing up at their final contender for the day.

Keep reading

The unfaithful Wife

Chapter 4

Jiminstayed perfectly still while the car pulled up in front of the daycare and I bit my lips, trying to think of a way to make this work without upsetting Jin Soo. Jimin looked stubborn and angry and somehow, I was being pushed into becoming the guilty party. I didn’t know why it hurt so much. But for now, I had to think about Jin Soo.

“It would help if I had just a minute with him..” I tried again and Jimin gave me an impatient look.

“I’m not going to barge in and demand attention and love from him. I know kids need time. I’m not a complete idiot, so don’t talk to me like that.” He snapped.

I sighed and nodded. He got out of the car and came around to hold the door open for me . When we went in, Jin Soo was the only kid there and Jimin’s eyes softened naturally.

“Hey buddy…” He said softly.

“Hi uncle.” Jin Soo said brightly, remembering him from yesterday.

Jimin stiffened again. But then he smiled.

“Jin Soo… Do you like toys? Trucks? Guns?” He smiled. Jin Soo’s eyes went wide.

“Yes.” He breathed, stunned to hear his favorite things in one sentence.

Jimin turned and gave his chauffeur a quick nod who promptly went out.

“Would you like to have a … Daddy?” He smiled, before sinking down to his knees till he was almost eye level with Jin Soo.

I fidgeted, nervous.

“My Daddy lives in a castle and someday he’ll come to meet me.” Jin Soo said promptly with a proud smile.

Jimin’s breath hitched. He turned to look at me and I looked away. Suddenly his fingers reached out and gently touched mine. I pulled away, scalded. And then realized that he was probably playacting for Jin Soo’s benefit.

“I expected that you would have told him he didn’t have a father or something..” He whispered, face oddly blank. I stared at him, suddenly feeling very lonely. And hurt.

“Of course not. I wouldn’t have kept him hidden forever. I would have told you… someday.” I said, realizing as I said it , that it was true. 

“Well, I’m from a castle. And i want to be your daddy…. Can I?” He said, turning to Jin Soo like he hadn’t heard my response. Jin Soo looked alarmed, looking at me for reassurance. I’d never felt so torn in my entire life.

“It’s… alright… He’ll be a nice daddy..” I choked out.

There it was done.

Now no one could undo it.

I felt like i was sinking into a quagmire of regrets already.

Suddenly the chauffeur reappeared, carrying what looked an entire shopping mall worth of wrapped gifts. Jin Soo’s eyes went even wider if that was possible.

“I know Daddy hasn’t been there for a long time, so i thought I’d make up for it. ” He said, reaching out and ruffling Jin Soo’s hair before gathering him into his arms. My breath caught in my throat. Resentment rose like a living thing, choking off my airway.

“You can’t buy his affection…” I hissed before I could stop myself.

“You have a five year headstart… I deserve this much…” He snapped back.

And it was working, i thought in disbelief watching the way jin Soo’s face lit up with excitement as he saw all the packages.

“We can’t do this here though. Would you like to come to Daddy’s castle?” Jimin said with a bright smile. I felt my breath catch at the sight of it. He still had the most beautiful smile on the planet , I thought miserably. I was doomed. I then kicked myself mentally. Granted it had been five years, but had I forgotten everything he had put me through?? He had wrecked my life.

Feeling a bit more stable, I watched Jimin as he carried Jin Soo out of the daycare while I followed limply, already feeling like the third wheel. Jin Soo was mine, I thought despondently. I’d raised him all by myself. Carried him myself, through a nightmare pregnancy that had nearly killed me. I didn’t want to share his love with anyone. Least of all the man who had thrown me away without a second thought. I stared at jimin and tried to understand what was going through his head and failed. It was obvious he wanted to be with his son, seemed to actually care for him but … he could have another one. With a woman he loved.  

I climbed into the car behind him, watched him as he spoke easily with his son, now together, they looked breathtakingly alike and similar. The same lovely wide smile, enough to make anyone’s heart skip a beat and half-moon eyes that sparkled. Jin Soo looked like he belonged with Jimin. Like he’d always belonged with him and i could feel panic build up inside me. I felt like the intruder all of a sudden. Like i was the pnly thing wrong with the picture perfect happiness . 

When the car pulled up to the huge Park Mansion, smack-dab in the middle of Seoul. I felt something very much like nausea creep up my thorat. i had the best and the worst memories of my life here and i’d never once thought I’d be coming back.

Suddenly, Jimin reached out and took my hand in his.

“I’ve got a different home now. We won’t be living here.” He said, as though he could read my mind.

I nodded numbly.


We were going to be living together.

It made no sense.

He hated me. I was supposed to hate him and well, really the entire thing was supposed to be over before it ever began.

“I don’t think…” He gave me a look of warning, nodding at Jin Soo and I swallowed my own words. I couldn’t talk in front of my perceptive son.

The car drove past the huge Manor and then further into the estate, past rolling meadow, artificial woods and lakes with fauna and flora to rival the world’s best . After nearly twenty minutes , we pulled up in front of a modest two-story house, set at the end of the lane.

“You’ll have drivers on call at all times. There will be staff to take care of jin Soo and you can drive to your bakery from here.” He said briskly, carrying Jin Soo out and directing the chauffeur to bring all the packages in. I hesitated, still feeling like I’d stepped into some sort of an alternate reality. I watched him move and then slowly followed, legs feeling like lead in my shoes.

When I stepped in, the last person I expected to see was Jimin’s sister, Jin Hee. I stopped short, heat flooding my face as she stared at me, a mixture of awkward sympathy and concern on her face.

“Min Hee… It’s nice to see you..” She said hesitantly and I felt like death. The last time I’d seen her, I’d been branded a prostitute by her mother and kicked out of the house. Bile rose in my throat and humiliation threatened to choke me. Resentment for my husband came in waves. Why on earth was he doing this to me??..

“Please.. don’t look so stricken. What’s in the past is in the past…. I’d love for us to move on. We were friends back then, weren’t we?” She said desperately and I tried not to pull away as she wrapped me in a hug, her arms easily going around me.

“You’ve become so thin.. Min Hee..” She said disapprovingly and I couldn’t trust myself to speak. Suddenly the sound of pattering feet made me lookup and I found myself staring at adorable twin boys, maybe a bit smaller than Jin Soo. Jin Soo too was looking at the newcomers with great interest.

“They’re my children. Their father…. well, he isn’t in the picture anymore. i stay here with Jimin, i hope you don’t mind.” She said nervously and I shook my head.

“Of course not.. I.. I won’t be here for long anyway…” I stopped when Jimin shot me a glare that could kill.

“She means that we may be going on a honey moon for a few weeks at least. Start fresh.” He said loudly.

I tried not to clench my teeth. Honeymoon? Over my dead body…

“That’s a wonderful idea. I think you guys .. I mean I’ve always thought you’re meant to be together and well, everyone makes mistakes. What’s important is that you love each other and your son, enough to want to move on.”

Jin Hee made both of us sound like saints.

I wanted to burst into tears and tell her the truth. That her precious brother had blackmailed me into this.

“We do. By the way, did the designer come?” Jimin asked, standing up and shrugging out of his jacket. I felt my eyes widen as I took in the increased breadth and width of his shoulders and chest, the soft fabric stretching taut against his muscled frame. i didn’t have to touch him to know he was probably hard as a rock in all the right places. Even now, he looked every inch the rich, sophisticated CEO that he was.  I felt shabbier than ever considering my own stick thin figure and lank hair.

“Yes. He’s left a lot of dresses in the fitting room. Min Hee can try them on…” She smiled brightly.

I frowned.

Try them on?

“I’ll take the kids to the play room..” She said brightly and Jin Soo waved cheerfully before rushing away with his new friends, Min Ho and Ji Hoo.

I waited till she was out of earshot before turning to Jimin.

“I don’t want you to buy me clothes..” I said automatically and he rolled his eyes.

“They’re just some cocktail gown for when we go out in public. ”


“I’m not going to be your trophy wife..” I said angrily .

“ If I wanted a trophy wife, I could damn well do better… ” He snapped.

I recoiled in disbelief. His sharp tongue had hurt me often during our marriage. Clearly he hadn’t changed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t even mean it.. fuck.. you’re beautiful and you don’t need me to tell you that anyway.” He ran an impatient hand through his hair. “ What i meant was that, once we get married some public appearances are mandatory. You’ll need nice clothes. I’ll try to keep you as far from the public eye as possible but … sometimes it may be impossible to avoid.” He said.

i looked away, tired. I hadn’t slept in a long time and the days exhaustion was slowly beginning to creep in. My eyes fell on the unwrapped packages of toys on the floor and i bit my lips.

“you’re right. You can give him a lot more than I ever can..” I said quietly, staring at the expensive toys which probably cost more than what I’d make in a year.

Jimin made a noise of impatience and stepped closer, grabbing my shoulders suddenly and forcing me to look up at him.

“I didn’t mean it that way… ” He said roughly, giving me a little shake.

“I can’t compete if you throw your money around..” I said softly.

“It’s not a competition… I.. i mean if you look that way, he loves you way more than he would ever love me. i cannot compete with the bond you have with him.. But it isn’t a competition… Minnie.. I meant what I said. I want to move on from this and trust me it’s difficult for me too. But I just.. it’s not about whether we can give him more love or more money …i just want him to have both. His parents love, a comfortable life and a complete family. He deserves it, don’t you think?” He said softly , fingers gently massaging my shoulders. The touch was oddly familiar , soothing and normal. While my mind hadn’t agreed my bodily was already getting used to being touched, i thought miserably.

“I didn’t sleep with Tae Min.” I said without thinking.

Jimin stiffened, hands falling off my shoulders.

“Minnie… ”

“I swear I didn’t.. I never cheated on you…”

“Enough.” His voice was low. Furious. “ Don’t ever mention his name again. Like I said, I’ll forget it, for our son’s sake. I won’t bring it up ever again. Only if you promise not to either. We can’t move on if you keep clinging to that ridiculous story… ” He snapped.

I sighed in defeat.

“Minnie… listen to me. This doesn’t have to be bad. We can make this work. I swear.. I’m.. I’m sorry about the way I handled things back then. I was upset. I was…hurt. I was young and immature. i should have.. i should have been there for you. I looked for you… For a long time.. But i didn’t know you changed your surname. ”

“I had to … to get away from the reporters…” I mumbled.

“I didn’t know you were pregnant. didn’t even consider it. If I had.. God. .. I swear to God I wouldn’t have left you alone. But.. But what’s done is done. I can’t undo it. Neither can you. So we’ll just have to agree to put it all behind us. Start something new, together, We don’t have to fall in love again but we can respect each other and like each other enough to do the right thing for our son… can’t we?” Jimin appealed.

“Okay.” I said finally. Too tired to say anything else. There was just too much baggage between us, for it to ever truly work, i thought miserably. But he was right.

It wasn’t really about us was it?

Jin Soo would grow up someday and it would be better if he had a complete family. And it’s ridiculous how much a mother can be willing to give up for her son. I felt tears sting. I’d been through hell and back, nearly died ,  giving birth to him.

I’d go through it all over again if it meant giving him the life he deserved.

Even if it meant staying with a husband who believed the worst of me.

“It’s getting late. I should be going home.” I said nervously glancing at the darkening sky.

“About that. Would you like to stay here the night? We have a press conference in the morning and..”

“No..” I said panicking.

Jimin rolled his eyes.

“There’s a guest bedroom .. I’m not going to force myself on you…” He said impatiently.

I stared at him.

“I have to open the bakery at seven.” I said softly. He shrugged.

“I’ll drive you down there. You look like you’re going to collapse any second. Jin Soo’s already asleep with his cousins..”

cousins. ’

Family. My son had a family now. The one thing that I’d always felt so incapable of giving him. 

“Will you… wake me up at seven then?” I said nervously.

My phone was out of charge. usually my body clock was enough to wake me up but I couldn’t rely on it when I was so tired and in a different place.

“I’d have to sleep with you then…” He said casually.

The air between us shifted and I felt my breath catch.


“Would it be so bad? To sleep with me again?” He said gently and I looked at him in disbelief. He had changed into a grey shirt that hung loose around his collarbones and I noticed that he still had that little dip over his chest to the left of his shoulder, deep enough to hold water. I’d traced, my fingers,  lips, and tongue over that cleft a million times.

“I think it would be the worst mistake of my life.” I said , voice trembling.

He sighed.

“We were so good together. At least in the bedroom. I remember that.” His voice was husky and I felt my thighs clench involuntarily. He noticed.

Suddenly he moved towards me, quickly, and he was close, so close, nearly touching as he reached out, wrapped one arm around my waist, around me but not touching me at all and I froze in shock. I couldn’t throw his arm off because he wasn’t touching me. Even though it felt like he was.

“You’ll have to do it. Eventually When we marry. To make the marriage legal. ” He hummed , bending low till his breath hit the side of my face. He still wasn’t touching me but he was all around me. He was everywhere and the scent of clean male skin and shampoo , the sight of his wet hair so close was driving my inhibitions down, but simultaneously driving my terror up.

“Jimin… don’t.” I choked out.

“It will be hard. to live here together in the same house…under the same roof. Knowing how good we can be together. Knowing how fucking fantastic we can be together…” He said, voice husky and dripping with promise . i shut my eyes.

“Get away from me. Or I’m calling a cab and getting out of here. ” I said voice surprisingly steady. He looked like he’d been slapped.


“Fine. I’ll back off tonight. But in two days we’re getting married. And you’re coming back into my life. And my bed. Even if i have you to drag you there. ”  He said angrily, Then he turned around and stalked off.

I swallowed.

It was better this way. I was better at dealing with angry Jimin , rather than the one who wanted to start fresh.

The one who reminded me too much of the man I’d fallen in love with once.

For this prompt: ‘College!au where Cas is trying to secretly take a picture of Dean because he’s the most attractive human, but Dean thinks he’s playing Pokemon Go so he goes over to talk to Cas, and Cas is so lost because he doesn’t do games.’

So perhaps this was a bad idea. No, scratch that, it was the most horrible idea in the history of bad ideas. Wondering again why on earth he’d let his friend Charlie talk him into this, Castiel discreetly eyed his target from behind the nearest tree.

Sitting on a bench beside some rusty old artwork, was a guy, staring at the screen of his phone with a certain determination. His brow was adorably furrowed, full pink lips slightly parted in concentration. ‘Infuriatingly handsome’ was the only description that did him justice, in Castiel’s humble opinion. Every day, the guy would hang out here all by himself, on that bench in the middle of that small park behind Castiel’s dorm. Sometimes during lunch break, but at times also late at night when it was starting to get dark; Castiel could see it all from his window.

And of course when he’d called his friend Charlie and told her about his annoying crush, she’d somehow trapped him into doing this. She’d demanded that if this guy was such a miracle and Castiel insisted on rambling about him every day, it was at least his duty to share a picture of the object of his affection with his best friend.

Taking a deep breath, Castiel took one step closer, knowing that he’d never get a proper picture from his hiding spot. Another step as Castiel held his breath; he was grateful that the guy at least seemed to be too absorbed in whatever was happening on his phone to notice his surroundings.

Lifting his phone, Castiel remained still as a stone, silently cursing Charlie Bradbury and her unreasonable request. He was close enough now, could capture everything, from the guy’s many freckles to his thick long lashes. He truly was beautiful…


Castiel exhaled, relieved that he’d done it, just as the guy glanced up and stared right at him.

Oh crap, oh no. What kind of an excuse was he ever going to come up with? This could only end in embarrassment, and Castiel’s cheeks were already on fire. But as Castiel slowly lowered his phone, he realized that the guy was smiling broadly at him, getting up from the bench, almost excitedly approaching Castiel.

“Dude! You were after that Venonat as well, weren’t you?” He grinned, nodding behind him at the bench. “The lure is still active for another twenty minutes, wanna join me?”

Keep reading

Learn to take a hint.

I won’t reveal any names of the people involved of course, so here’s the cast for this story:

Rey - Myself

Kylo Ren - My boyfriend at the time

T - Creepy guy

This took place at a rather small but pretty well known convention in Texas. It all started on Saturday, and as I’m sure you all know, that’s usually the most crowded day of a con. But, I think this was the most crowded its ever been at this certain con. It was insanely packed. Now, I have severe anxiety and psychosis issues and I can’t exactly go to big events by myself. My mother wasn’t able to go with me on this day because of work, so a family friend happily offered to take me and help me with my medication, panic attacks if I had them, etc. So, my friend and I decided to walk off to another part of the venue that was calmer and less crowded. Anyways, after a few minutes of sitting down and chatting, she was hungry and wanted to go the hotel’s food court to go get food. I had sore feet and didn’t want to walk for a while, so i reassured her I would wait for her where I was and that I’d be okay. She figured I was right and walked off to go get food– I know this was a big mistake on my part, but hey, I’m a fucking idiot sometimes. I sat there for a few minutes chatting to the few people that passed me and asked for pictures, the usual stuff i’ve grown used to at conventions. Everything was fine

Then he showed up.

Keep reading

ALSO our usual lunch place wasn’t open so we wandered and stumbled across THE BEST pizza place.  It’s called The Flying Saucer Pizza Company and everything on the menu was sci-fi/comic themed.  Just look at this thing.

And of course the inside was decked out in memorabilia.  There was a life-size Locutus of Borg you could take pictures with and everything.

Are We Out Of The Woods? - Part Three. Joe Sugg Imagine.

Part One:

Part Two:

You’ve been hiding out at your best friends house in Manchester since the night you left Joe. After you explained the situation to your parents, they were quite shocked at your decision and rather upset at Joe’s actions, but they completely understood and promised not to tell a soul of where you were going. When you arrived at your best friends house the next morning after leaving Joe with a rather full suitcase and duffle bag, she was completely shocked. She, like many of your other friends, did not know about your relationship with Joe and you were absolutely terrified that she would be angry with you for not telling her such a big secret. As soon as you told her, she thought you were joking with her, but when the tears began to build in your eyes and slowly fall down your cheeks, she took it a lot more serious and listened to every word you had to say.

“Oh darling..Come here..” She whispered, enveloping you into her arms and began to sooth you with her comforting words. She was more than happy to keep you at her house for a while and was very excited to have some company since her own boyfriend was currently on a lads holiday in Portugal. The first thing she did was lock the doors, before she began to grab pillows from every room and blankets also, together you both turned her neat, tidy sitting room into a magical, large, fairy lit fort with the most comfortable pillows and softest blankets. After she brought you both a mug of tea into the fort, she placed a blanket over you both and she listened to you talk about the sweet, romantic things Joe would do for you on your secretive dates, before she listened to the heart break and loneliness you’ve been struggling through when Joe began to ‘date’ Emily. You told her about how Joe was against making you and him public but he was more than happy to go into a public, fake relationship with a gorgeous model to keep you ‘safe’. Your best friend was appalled at Joe’s behaviour and began to rant about Emily and how fake she was and even began to give out about Joe.

“You don’t need him..You’re a strong, sexy, kind hearted, funny, witty, intelligent, kind, sweet beautiful girl and you deserve nothing but good in this world. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be showed off. You deserve a man who isn’t afraid to hold your hand in public and kiss you in front of the world and show you off to all of his friends to make them jealous. I’m so lucky to have you as a best friend, and I’m not mad at you for not telling me about your relationship. I completely respect you and your decisions and I will always love you no matter what you decide to do in life, and I’ll always be by your side to support you..through everything..I’ll always be there for you..whether you need a shoulder to cry on or simply need someone to talk to or even laugh with..I’ll always be there for you..” Your best friend whispered as she wrapped her arms around your shoulders and pulled you in for a hug. Tears began to stream down your cheeks yet again, but they weren’t tears of heart break or sadness but tears of happiness. You were so incredibly lucky to have your/best-friends/name in your life. She was your rock. You’ve been connected by the hip since you were both toddlers starting school and you couldn’t have felt more blessed and happy in that moment. She was a true, loyal friend that you would never let go of.

“I’m going to help you get through this and we’re going to get happy, funny and tear free Y/N back..” She whispered kissing your forehead and softly squeezing your shoulders and you couldn’t stop the smile growing on your lips as you looked at your best friend and smiled back at her, wiping away the tears from your eyes because you knew she meant every word she spoke.

“I’m so lucky to have you as my best friend..Thank you so much..” You whispered before you enveloped her in a tight bear hug. You would be entirely lost without her in your life. That night you shed some more tears and struggled to let sleep overtake you, but maybe this was for the best. Maybe you and Joe were not meant to be together.

| Two Weeks Later |

It’s been two weeks since you’ve left Joe. It’s been two weeks you’ve been suffering with a broken heart and never ending tears, and it’s been two weeks since you’ve been properly happy. You haven’t been in contact with Joe or any of his friends since you couldn’t look back, but only move forwards. Your phone though, has been constantly ringing and dinging with calls and messages from Joe and even some from Caspar, Oli and Zoe. You’ve stayed clear from social medias and haven’t looked at any messages from Joe nor have you listened to the many voice mails he has left on your machine and the many messages and DM’s he’s left on your social media. Your best friend changed your lock screens to selfies of her pulling the weirdest double chin faces and it made you smile each time.

Your best friend has been there for you twenty four seven for the last two weeks and you couldn’t be more thankful. Your friend has helped you with everything and now she was trying to persuade you to leaving the house to go for a girly day of shopping, manicures and a five star meal in the city of London. At first you were quite, let’s say strong headed. “No your/best-friends/name. We’re not going to London! What if we bump into him? What will we do or even say? I can’t..I’m not ready in case we do..” You panicked feeling your heart rate increase rapidly. London was an insanely large city, but the possibly of running into Joe was still there and you couldn’t put that at risk.

“Come on Y/N! I’ve got to go work on Monday after my three week holiday and all I want is a little time with my best friend in the city of London where we can shop until we drop and get our nails done and eat at this incredible restaurant I booked us at..Come on..Please..” She pouted holding your hands and giving you the most saddest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. You sighed knowing the puppy dog eyes always got to you and plucked at each and every single one of your heart strings. “Fine, fine..but if we so happen to see Joe-” You began to speak but we’re instantly cut off by your friend squealing with delight and hugging you closely. “Yes! I promise you, we won’t run into him!” Your friend beamed before she dragged you both upstairs and began to get you both ready. You decided to sport a casual, skinny blue jean look with a grey sleeveless shirt, a pair of ankle boots and a long cardigan to match and keep you warm. Your hair was styled up into a messy bun and you were ready to leave the house after finishing your makeup to cover up the bags under your eyes and to give you a fresh look since you did not want to be seen with your red eyes and dark under circles.


You were currently walking through the shopping centre with your/best-friends/name after walking out of ‘Crazy Nails and Hair’ with your new French tipped manicure nails. You were both window shopping currently and wondering what shop you would both like to wander into and hunt for a good bargain. Currently you both stood outside of Topshop and gazed at the autumn collection that wasn’t currently being shipped in and you smiled lovingly at some of the jumpers knowing you would most definitely have to add them to your collection. As you pointed to a jumper on one of the window mannequins to show to your/best-friends/name, you heard a couple of gasps.

“Oh my god!” You turned to see a group of girls, maybe around ten or twelve girls surrounding you with their phones and you felt your eyes widen in shock and fear. “Oh my god your Joe’s best friend! Your Y/N! Wow..W-we just wanted to know if we could take a picture? I-if that wouldn’t be too much trouble..” A girl with curly blonde hair smiled at you and you felt yourself smile shyly and a blush creep upon your cheeks. “Yes, of course! It wouldn’t be any trouble lovely..” You smiled at the girls surrounding you. You were faced by many cameras and smiled for every photo taken and even hugged a lot of the girls. “Wow..Joe is so lucky to have you as a best friend..” A girl with red straightened hair smiled at you and you felt your heart crack and shatter inside and your smile slightly drop. Hearing his name from another persons really hurt you, but you quickly smacked the smile back onto your lips since you couldn’t tell Joe’s fan base about the situation your both in.

“Do you know if he’s okay? He hasn’t posted in a while..He’s missed two Sugg Sunday’s..and he hasn’t uploaded anything on his vlogging channel or even tweet anything..Do you know what’s up with him?” Another girl spoke out and you felt your stomach tighten into a ball of knots. Joe hasn’t tweeted or uploaded a video? That’s not like Joe at all, YouTube is his job and he loves it so much. Why hasn’t he been posting? As all of these thoughts began to creep into your mind, a voice broke your track of thoughts. “Are you guys both okay? We haven’t seen you in many of his videos since that model came on the scene..” The girl with rosy cheeks spoke making your mind spin like a merry go round as you tried to create some sort of excuse in your mind. “Joe has been really busy with his graphic novel..and some projects for you guys..I’m sure he’ll be back to normal soon..We haven’t spoken because I’ve been busy with college work and exams..” You lied right behind your teeth with a shy smile plastered across your face. You felt guilt pulse through your blood stream and your heart sink to your feet. You hated lying but you couldn’t possibly tell them the truth and let everything slip out.

'Oh, you see, Joe and I have been actually dating for quite a while now but he decided to shove me in the dark and actually go public dating with this beautiful, outstanding model for a publicity stunt so he could get more subscribers and she could get more followers and he completely blanked me and neglected me which is why I left him and that’s why we haven’t spoken..’ If you said a word about this contract, your almost sure that Joe’s management would easily come after you with loaded guns. 

“I hope everything works out well for you in college Y/N because you deserve it..I don’t know how you put up with that girlfriend of his! She’s so fake!” The girl scoffed and shook her head. “I know your best friends with Joe, but I always shipped you with Joe much more than this girl he has..” The girl grinned at you as many of the other fans agreed with her statement which made you smile to yourself and made your best friend chuckle. The subscribers would have supported your relationship with Joe if you both left the woods and they don’t seem to like Emily at all, just like yourself! As you parted your lips to speak, gasps and expressions of shock over took every girls face. “Guys, look! It’s Joe Sugg!” They all squealed loudly making you your eyes widen, your heart stop and your face turn as white as snow. Your head slowly turned to see Joe looking towards the group of fan girls that shrieked his name and you watched his eyes widened immediately as soon as he saw you. He was about twenty feet away and he began to walk over in your direction quickly.

“Quick Y/N, take my keys and run. I’ll distract him if I can..” Your best friends whispered, slipping her car keys into your hand before she pushed you after snatching your shopping bags. You felt a sick feeling rush through you along with panic and you instantly took off into a quick run and felt your heart jump to your throat with fear.

“Y/N! Y/N! Come back!” You heard Joe yell loudly. You ran quickly down the escalator and apologised as you brushed by people roughly. “Sorry! Sorry! Y/N! I’m so sorry miss!” Joe muttered as he pushed pass people as hard as he could to try and catch up with your running. Joe completely ran around the group of fangirls and your best mate like lightened and began to run as fast as his legs could carry him. He wasn’t about to lose you again and so he used every ounce of energy in him to run as fast he could possibly run. The group of fangirls began to chase after Joe too once they watched Joe take off in a run.

Your chest was aching and screaming with a burning feeling from the pain and the soles of your feet were in completely agony. Boots were not made for running. You quickly dashed through the shopping centre attempting to outrun your ex boyfriend as your blood was pulsing through you in an adrenaline rush and you could still hear Joe’s voice calling and screaming your name loudly. You were thinking quick, trying to create a diversion for yourself to distract Joe. You swung a left at the nearby make up store and ran through it and towards the other exit that led to the car park. You heard squeals and shrieks from inside the make up store which alerted you that Joe was obviously inside. You began to sprint for your life, searching madly for your best friends car and trying to keep out of the way of Joe.

There’s no way you could face him after all that he’s done to you and after the way you left him. Joe was your first ever love and it would only break you to look him deep in the eyes again and feel his soft, muscled arms around you. You were not ready to face this boy yet and you don’t think you ever would be. You smiled with victory seeing your best friends car and began to rush towards it. As soon as you reached it, you began to shove the key into the lock before you gasped loudly feeling your body instantly spin around and your wrists being held down against your sides. Your chest was rising and falling quickly and your mind was like a very fast carousel trying to keep up with everything happening.

You just knew you shouldn’t have came to London today. You had a gut instinct about it all but you still brushed it off and now look at the situation you’ve gotten yourself into. You wanted all of this to be some nightmare that you would soon awake from and then laugh about it over breakfast, but when you fluttered your eyes open, your breath was instantly caught in your throat.

Joe stood there before you, his chest rising and falling in sync with yours and his breaths rather deep. You didn’t know what to say. You could almost swallow the cologne he was wearing and you could almost touch his forehead with yours, you were that close. You watched his blue orbs study your face intently and you never felt more sick in your life. You wanted to throw up everything and the tears that have been building up, also wanted to break free like Niagara Fall. You haven’t seen this face in two weeks and now you were stood right in front of it. You felt completely numb and you were speechless.

“You’ve always been very quick on your feet, haven’t you?” Joe whispered, gazing down into your eye/colour eyes softly. Your throat was running dry and you could feel your heart pounding against your rib cage heavily before it fell to your feet as your stomach began to feel empty.

“Y/N..I’ve been trying to talk to you and get in contact with you every day..Please..just hear me out..” Joe spoke, his voice cracking ever so slightly and the lump in his throat battling to rise and overtake him. Your eyes closed and you tried to calm your breathing as your throat ran dry and your lungs shrivelled up tightly. Your chest was pressing against his, matching his breathing. Thoughts were swirling through your head like a washing machine. You didn’t know what to say to him nor did you know if you even wanted to speak with Joe after the way he neglected and ignored you to spend time with his fake girlfriend.

“Why?” You asked, breaking the momentary silence and felt your voice shake ever so slightly. “Why should I hear you out after you hurt me so much?” You whispered feeling your stomach tighten with a sickening feeling and the lump in your throat begin to rise making tears build up on your water line.

“Because I’ve got so much to tell you..” Joe answered in the blink of an eye. You studied the features of his face. His eyes were red and there were evident black circles under his eyes. You could see the worry, the panic, the hope and the sadness in his blue eyes. You sighed quietly and spoke. “Two minutes Sugg..” You whispered and watched a small smile tug at Joe’s lips. He kept your wrists pinned by your sides and his eyes gazed into yours.

“Y/N I’ve been a complete mess without you..I don’t blame you for leaving me after the way I treated you and I’m so incredibly sorry..for everything. I never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention. I was so stupid Y/N. I agreed to a stupid publicity stunt to protect you and gain more subscribers and I never even asked you if you were okay with the situation, but the strong girl you are, I don’t know why you did but you kept your mouth shut when you should have told me that you weren’t happy about this stunt. I was so wrapped up in trying to gain more subscribers for myself that I completely ignored you and tried to get in the eye of the media as much as I could. I didn’t give you the time that you deserve and I forgot about the little things we organised and ever since you’ve left me..I’ve just been an atrocious mess..I’ve broken things and cut people out of my life within just two weeks and I’ve been in a non stop constant worry about your whereabouts and I’ve been so worried about you..I need you back in my life Y/N and I didn’t realise just how much I did until you left me..” Joe spoke, rubbing his thumb across your wrists and held onto them tightly like you were going to float away and leave him for good.

Your eyes were watering with tears and they slowly dripped down your cheeks as you thought about everything. You couldn’t forget the last few months of your relationship with Joe. You’ll never forget those polaroids you took of each other and the cookies you would both bake at unusual times in the morning. You thought about everything you’ve both been through and felt yourself start to shake like a leaf blowing in the wind. You thought about everything you would do together and how at house parties, you would both manage to slip away for a bit and hide in the closet for a little private session of seven minutes in heaven. You gazed up into Joe’s eyes seeing tears fall from his eyes and you so desperately wanted to brush them away with your thumbs but with the grip on your wrists, it was impossible.

“Y/N..You’re an incredible girl. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re adorable and you’re one of a kind. You’ve got the most beautiful eyes and the most gorgeous smile. Your heart is pure, solid gold and I’m sure you’re an angel sent from above. An angel that was sent to me and I completely blanked you..I don’t deserve you..I really don’t deserve you after the way I treated you..” Joe whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke which made your heart ache and your heart beat rather quickly. “I’m surprised you even stayed with me for that long..You deserve a guy so much better than me Y/N..but I am so incredibly sorry..for everything. I’m sorry for the way I acted and the way I treated you. I love you with everything Y/N. I love you so much and I’ve no feelings for anybody else. I broke off the contract with my management about Emily and Emily is now flying off to the U.S. You make my heart complete and without you I’m nothing Y/N. I’m nothing at all and I know my actions may never be forgiven but all I’m asking for is for one more chance..One more chance to show you how much I love you. One more chance to do everything with you and one more chance to show you that we do have a spark between us and a special something that nobody else has. I can’t let you slip through my fingers again..I’m not letting you go Y/N..We’ll take things as slow as you want..” Joe said softly and gently loosened his hands on your wrist and moved them to your hips, before he smoothly slides his hands up your sides and to your cheeks.

You could see all of the emotion in his eyes and from the tears he let escape. You’ve never seen Joe so heart broken and sad. His thumbs began to softly brush your tears away as your fingers very slowly and cautiously moved to his temple where you slowly and delicately ran your fingers over the stitches he had to get a few months ago from the crash you ended up in. You thought about everything and let Joe’s words sink into your mind. You watched Joe’s eyes slowly close at your touch as his breathing began to slow down like your own. Your finger tips slowly trailed down to Joe’s jaw and slowly to under his chin where you softly raised it.

“Oh Joe..” You smiled weakly, choking on your own words as you brushed away the tears on his cheeks and sniffled your nose. You softly moved your hand to his own which cupped your cheek and intertwined your fingers with his before your other hand moved to his cheek and you watched him nuzzle his face into your hand like a newborn puppy.

“I’m still hurt..” You said softly and watched Joes face fall and you could just about hear his heart breaking inside his chest. “But I’m willing to give us another shot..because I love you with everything too..” You whispered as your voice cracked, the small smile on your face growing as Joe’s facial features began to brighten and a large smile overtook his face.

You squealed feeling Joe pick you up and spin you around making you throw your head back and laugh loudly hearing Joe cheer with happiness before he pressed both of your lips together and began to move them in a slow, gentle sync, keeping you pressed against him as close as he could. You both smiled against one another’s lips before hearing camera flashes and girls squealing.

You both pulled apart very slowly to see the group of girls from earlier covering their mouths and squealing loudly as they clapped for you both. You saw your best friend smiling widely at you and giving you a thumbs up before a large camera flash over took yours and Joe’s vision and you turned to see a gathering crowd of paparazzi. Joe smiled brightly at them and shouted loudly. “This is Y/N Your/Last/Name! She’s the most perfect, beautiful girl in the world and I’m so happy to announce that Y/N is my girlfriend, I’m so incredibly lucky to have her and I love her more than she’ll ever know!” Joe smiled widely, keeping you high in the air as the smile on your face continued to grow and you couldn’t believe that Joe was actually telling everyone that you were an officious couple.

Joe looked into your eyes deeply and you felt happiness overtake you both as he whispered softly, “We’re out of the woods..”.


Hello lovelies! This is the end of this imagine! I really enjoyed writing this imagine and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as enjoyed writing it! So sorry for the long wait on this part but thank you so much for all of your support and lovely messages! Don’t be afraid to message me your thoughts because I would love to read them since I love reading your messages and thoughts! All my love! Xx

anonymous asked:

could you do a jack Maynard imagine where him and you get into a huge argument and he is basically ignoring you for the next few days and like one night you can’t sleep and he gets up to see you crying in the kitchen or like the living room and he apologizes ??? And pls lots of FLUFF :) ty

A bed feels far too big when the person you’re so used to sharing it with isn’t there with you. I knew the argument was justified, Jack should not have got that handsy with that girl. I’d bundled the duvet into my arms in an attempt to make it feel as though another body was with me, but it didn’t radiate warmth and it’s chest didn’t rise and fall and it didn’t snore far too loudly like Jack did.

He’d stayed over at friend’s houses for the past few nights, but no one would take him tonight so I’d let him back in provided he slept on the couch. As much as I missed him, I wasn’t quite ready to forgive him.

I reached over and took my phone from the bedside table, squinting as I pressed the home screen. I opened Twitter to see the same picture flooding my notifications, blurry but unmistakable. I tried my best to ignore it and scroll through my timeline but I heard footsteps outside the bedroom door. I quickly put my phone down, bundled myself back up in the duvet and forced my puffy eyes shut as the door opened. I could hear bare feet on the carpet creep through the room and over to my side of the bed, bending down to the plug socket and wriggling a phone charger from it. All movement suddenly stopped and Jack sighed.

“Can’t sleep either?” he said. I sighed in defeat and opened my eyes.
“How did you know?”
“When you’re asleep and you breath in, you make a really high pitched noise, and you weren’t making it.” I had to smile at that. Jack slumped so he was sat on the floor. “I miss you. I really do. I knew I loved you before all this happened but it’s just made me realise that I don’t just love you. I need you.” He said this to the carpet and spoke as though he was making a speech to the mirror, but I knew he meant every word. Tears were appearing in the corners of his eyes. “I’m so sorry about what happened with that girl, I swear nothing happened but I’m sorry I made you feel this way. I never want you to feel like this again.” His head fell into his hands, and I jumped out of bed to kneel in front of him and cup his face in my hands forcing him to look at me. I could see remorse in his eyes.
“I forgive you,” I whispered. A look of relief washed over Jack’s face. “I won’t forget, but I will forgive. I love and need you too.” He cracked a weak smile and I kissed him, soft and slow and full of love, something both of us needed right now.
He slipped into the bed beside me and I cuddled into him, one arm around his waist and his hand on my back soothingly drawing patterns with his fingertips. And I could feel the warmth radiating from him and his chest rising and falling and a few minutes later I could hear him snoring far too loudly.

anonymous asked:

hi! if you're still taking prompts, how about "you’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but i’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit i picked out for you" for scorbus maybe? or alternatively, "you’re drunk and walked into the wrong apartment and fell asleep on my couch oh god you’re going to be so confused in the morning” love love love your writing! :)

“Come on, Al!” Scorpius pleaded, getting down on his knees and giving his best friend his best puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

“You’ve been on dates before, you know what to wear,” Albus shot back, still scrolling through his phone and pretending not to be affected by the way Scorpius was currently on his knees in front of him. 

“I just need some advice,” Scorpius said despondently. He stood back up and went over to his closet, rifling through his shirts to find the best one. “I really like him.”

“You don’t even know him,” Albus said, frowning at his phone. “You met him on one of those stupid dating websites. He’s probably a forty year old man who will want you to call him daddy.” 

Scorpius turned back to Albus and rolled his eyes. “He’s been really sweet in all of our online chats,” he insisted, holding a shirt up against himself and looking in the mirror. “And in his pictures he doesn’t look older than twenty-five.”

“The picture could be years old,” Albus reminded him. “He could be some creep.”

Scorpius sighed. “I appreciate your concern but that’s not why I asked you over.”

Albus scowled and slid his phone back into his pocket. “Fine,” he said, getting to his feet and stomping over to the closet. “I’ll help you pick out a stupid outfit.”

Albus went through the closet, taking a moment to consider a few shirts before moving on. Eventually he decided on a navy blue button down and pushed it into Scorpius’ hands. “It’ll match your eyes.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” Scorpius said, beaming at him. “I appreciate it, Al.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Albus responded, waving him off. “Just remember to text me if you need an emergency call.”

“I will,” Scorpius said, going into the bathroom to change. Sometimes Albus couldn’t believe how shy Scorpius was. Even back when they were at school together and shared a dormitory, Scorpius was always changing in the toilets.

Albus heard the shower running and flopped down onto the bed to wait for Scorpius to finish. He noticed Scorpius’ mobile sitting on the nightstand and quickly grabbed it. It didn’t take long for him to guess the password for the lock screen and he opened the dating app Scor had used to find this date. 

Their conversations were fairly uninteresting, the usual kind of tripe. Pleasant but dull, generally speaking. Where was the spark? Why were they even bothering. What did this guy have going for him other than being nice? 

When he heard the water shut off, Albus quickly put the phone back where he’d found it. He didn’t want Scorpius to know he had peeked. When Scorpius finally emerged from the bathroom, he was all scrubbed clean and wearing the shirt Albus had picked out with a pair of grey trousers. 

“Fuck,” Albus said under his breath. 

“How do I look?” Scorpius asked, giving a little spin.

Albus swallowed thickly and looked down at his phone. “You look great.”

“Come on, Al, you can tell me the truth,” Scorpius said, shuffling nervously. 

“You look hot,” Albus assured him, forcing himself to meet Scorpius’ gaze. 

Scorpius smiled at him. “Thanks. I hope he likes it.”

“He’d be an idiot not to,” Albus said with a shrug, trying to play off his own attraction. He got up and walked over, smoothing down the collar of the button down. “Don’t be nervous.”

Albus had made a mistake putting himself so close to Scorpius. He’d made a mistake his whole damn life. “Al…” Scorpius said softly. “Everything okay?”

“Of course,” Albus said, clearing his throat and forcing a smile onto his face. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know,” Scorpius said slowly. “Something is wrong though. I know you well enough to know that.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Albus assured him brightly, putting on a brave face for his friend. He could do this. He could send Scor off to fall in love with some other bloke. He could sit idly by while the guy he was in love with, and had been since he was eleven, went out and snogged someone else.

It took him a moment to realize his breathing had become shallow and his eyes unfocused. “Al, Al, breathe,” Scorpius said, clinging to him. “Take a deep breath, okay? I won’t go if you don’t want me to go.”

“No,” Albus choked out. “You have to go. You look so nice and he’s going to love you because why wouldn’t he? Everyone loves you because you’re perfect and gorgeous and sweet.”

“Al…” Scorpius said, his eyes widening in surprise. After a moment his face softened and he smiled. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Scorpius gently ran his fingers through Albus’ hair and Al leaned into the touch, craving it so badly. His breathing had finally evened out and he blinked away a few tears. “Because I’m an idiot,” Al said with a chuckle.

Scorpius’ hand was cradling the back of Albus’ head and he gently guided him forward until their lips touched. “Is this okay?” Scorpius whispered, just barely letting his lips slide against Albus’. 

“Yeah,” Albus said quietly, pushing forward and deepening the kiss. 

Scorpius backed him up towards the bed and they fell onto it, ending up both on their sides, facing each other. “How long?” Scorpius asked between kisses.

“How long what?” 

“You know what,” Scorpius said, reaching up and brushing his thumb along Albus’ cheekbone.

“Oh, um, you know,” Albus said nervously. “Since we were eleven.” 

“Jesus christ,” Scorpius said, closing his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Albus told him quickly. “I’m really sorry. At first I didn’t realize what I was feeling and then it seemed like I had waited to long to tell you. I kept telling myself that if you felt the same way I did then something would have happened between us. Nothing ever did.”

Scorpius exhaled loudly and opened his eyes. “We’re quite the pair, you and I.” 

Albus smiled sheepishly. “Why do you say that?” 

“Because I’ve loved you since we were thirteen but thought you must not love me back. I mean you spent all those nights in my bed but you never tried anything.”

“I didn’t want to ruin anything,” Albus mumbled, biting the inside of his cheek.

“So we were both lying there like a bunch of gits wanting to touch each other but scared the other one didn’t want it.” 

Albus snorted. “Pretty much.”

Scorpius smiled and captured Albus’ lips together. “You know this means we have a lot of catching up to do, right?” 

“Mhmm,” Albus hummed with a nod. 

“So I should probably cancel my date.” 

“Probably should,” Albus said, grinning widely. “He seemed boring anyway.”

Scorpius froze halfway to reaching for his phone and gave Albus a hard stare. “Did you go through my messages?” he asked accusingly.

“I might have glanced a few.” 

Scorpius rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone. “Did you even look at his picture?” he asked, unlocking his phone, fiddling with it for a few moments and then holding it out for Albus to see. 

Brown hair, dark skin, glasses and green eyes. Albus might as well have been looking at his twin. “Wow, I really am an idiot.” 

“Well, now you’re my idiot,” Scorpius said, typing out a quick message. He lied down next to Albus and Al watched as Scorpius deleted the dating app. The moment he was done, Albus was kissing him again - an apology and a promise. 

Submit Anon: How A Weeb Came to Ruin Someone's Life

TW: Extreme Bullying

Going into highschool I was a pretty big weeaboo; it was probably the worst part of my weeB stage. I hung out with a bunch of other kids who were into anime. The “leader”  of our group is easily one of the craziest weeaboos you will ever meet. I’ll call her ‘A.’ She’s a fairly obese white girl who is thoroughly convinced that she is Japanese because as she claims in a past life she was a Japanese schoolgirl. Those are words straight from her mouth. She never showered because she would rather use that time watching anime and every damn day she wore the same outfit: olka dot vans, ratty ripped jeans, a death note hoodie, and pikachu beanie. 

On the first day of school my English teacher instructed us to pair up with the person sitting next to us and write a paragraph about what we learned about them. My partner was a girl who I will call 'J.’ She was very shy and didn’t really open up about herself. She then told me that she had just moved to the area and she was a little worried about making friends. To help her out I invited her to come hang out with my friends and I at lunch. She seemed like a nice girl so I didn’t think there would be any problems.

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Fan Meet (Suga Scenario)

Originally posted by hellosweet96

Requested by @xaihtnycx  

Member: Suga

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 417 

Today was the day you got to meet BTS. You patiently waited in line with your poster and album in hand. You moved to Korea not too long ago and you were finally able to attend a fan meet. The boys were now in sight. You thought you were going to faint at the pure perfection before you. They were better looking in person, just like you suspected. You felt your heartbeat speeding up the longer you looked at them. You made your way through the line and now you were sitting in front of Suga.

“Hi!”, you squealed as you handed him your poster and album.

“Hey, what’s your name?”


“That’s a pretty name.”, he said as he wrote his name on your poster.

“Thank you. What’s your name?”, you blurted out of habit. You mentally face palmed yourself.

“Min Yoongi.”, Suga chuckled at your embarrassed face.

“So, where are you from?”

You were too busy mentally scolding yourself that you almost missed the question.

“Oh, I just moved to this area!”

“Really? You know we do a lot of fan meets here.”, he said as he opened up your album.

“I’ll try my best to come to all of them!”

Suga saw the photo card placed inside the album.

“You got my picture.”, he said taking it out and examining it.

“The best photo card.”, you smirked.

“You know it.”

You both laughed as he signed your album and photo card.

“I just wanted to say you’re really talented. I really admire you.”, you said wholeheartedly. Suga could rap, compose, and produce. On top of that, he had a humble and kind spirit which made him even more lovable.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”, Suga smiled shyly. You could’ve sworn you saw a blush creep up on his cheeks. You glanced at the girl next to you and saw she was ready to move over.

“It was nice talking to you!”, you reached out to him.

“You too. I’ll see you next time!”, Suga said as he shook your hand.

Once you got home you looked at the autographs on your poster and hung it up on your bedroom wall. You looked inside your album and brushed your fingers against the signatures. The photo card fell out and as you picked it up you saw there was a message written on the back.

I hope you keep getting the best photo card. I wish I had a photo card of you ;) -Min Yoongi

Creepypasta #622: Out From The Ashes


Story length: Super long

I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.

And that’s saying something considering everything that’s happened and that Forbes lists my profession as the most dangerous in America with 127.8 fatalities (the 0.8 guy must have been missing an arm or something) per 100,000 full-time workers. On top of that fun mortality rate, work’s intermittent at best, and the pay sucks. We’re always behind schedule, and it’s us peons who get the brunt of the pressure and frustration of the delays. Despite all of this, I enjoy what I do. The physical strain supplies me with a steady stream of endorphins, and the inherent dangers gives me my adrenaline fix.

I can’t say my co-workers are as happy, especially not after what we did the Minnesota white ash job. We were contracted out by a pool cue manufacturer to cut down a fair-sized ash forest for them to launch a new line of cues, and it didn’t turn out to be the easy job we expected.

Now, I’ve been to a lot of forests, many of them dark and ominous-looking, but they never bothered me. However, this bunch of ash… just didn’t seem right. I couldn’t really place my finger on it. It was like the contrast between the light and the shadows was too much– the sharp, black edges juxtaposing a verdant brilliance. Every distant sound was amplified while every nearby sound seemed muffled. The smell was of damp, rotten fruit and leaves. And it wasn’t just me that felt this way. By day one, we were all ready to get the fuck out, so tensions seemed higher than ever– a recipe for disaster.

The first two days on the job site were rough. We had equipment malfunctions, guys were getting in shouting matches over the dumbest shit, and everyone just seemed worn out. None of this stuff was uncommon at a logging job, but usually these things would start cropping up towards the end, not right at the start. I did my best to just keep my head down and do my work. I wanted this job done and over with, collect my pay and move on to the next. It was on the third day though, that I realized this wasn’t going to be an option.

It was right before lunch and I was sectioning out some felled trees for transport. I measured off the desired lengths and starting making my cuts. About a third of the way through the job though, my chainsaw just locked up on me. I grumbled and spit out some curse words as I wiggled it free from the log. I made sure it was turned off and then slammed it down on a nearby stump to take a look at it. Before I could start to look into whatever locked up my saw though, I saw Bob Corbin standing over by the edge of the tree line. His chainsaw was still rumbling in his hand and his ear protectors were dangling from his neck. I’d worked with Bob on over a dozen jobs, he was good worker, never slacked off, a grade A chopper. Here he was though staring off into space, with his back to the job.

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The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Said

This is the story of the worst thing I’ve ever said.

It was a joke. Well, it was supposed to be a joke. Immediately relax. What I said was no shade of offensive, it was not racist, sexist, or derogatory towards giraffes.

The worst thing I ever said was such because of timing. It was a bad time for a joke. I shouldn’t have said it. 

Every person I’ve ever told the story to responds the same exact way: they half-smile despite themselves as they rub their forehead and say “Anthony…”

Before I tell you what I said, there are some things you should know.

Mom is an earnest woman of small stature with the resolve of a 25 year old trying to find communal importance through Facebook statuses. She tries her best and relentlessly wants to let you know she is. Sad story short, she was regularly abandoned by her troubled mother and father and didn’t grow up with much genuine parental love. Mom is equal parts tough, sweet, and naive. She also can’t take a joke to save her fucking life. Her devotion to being a good mom and person sometimes makes her gullible or insusceptible to sarcasm. She’s been the perfect audience for my bullshit for 29 years, and not once has she ever suspected she was an audience member, even when she was physically sitting in the audience while I performed on stage. For example, her response to that last sentence would be something like “No! I know when I’m in the audience at a show you are performing at!” Mom sold makeup at Macy’s for about twenty years and she always looks beautiful. With or without product. She goes to church every Sunday and prays for me. My mom is four foot eleven, loves Barry White, and eats cookies with milk in the middle of the night. That’s my mom. Mama Shelly. Michelle Ann Apruzzese.

I think what attracted my mom to my dad was that he was sixteen years her senior and generally knew his way around life. He was both her husband and a father figure in the least creepy way possible, you asshole. Dad was many things: a bookie, a U.S. Army Ranger, a horse racetrack enthusiast, a hairdresser for Carol Burnett, a bartender, a plumber for the Jersey City Board of Education, a baseball player, and for all intents and purposes, the love of my mother’s life, the love of my brother’s life, and the love of my life. Dad was the heart and soul of the Apruzzese’s of Bayonne, New Jersey. He was an accessible, kind, understanding, and incredibly smart man for someone who only graduated elementary school. Above all, he was consistent. He was always there. With every year that passes and the further away from him I become, the more I love him. Dad never sat me down and gave me life lessons but I have an endless well of knowledge I’ve gained from him that will guide me through the rest of my life. Dad wasn’t preachy. His approach to life was the same as the great philosopher Rick Ross: “Don’t talk about it, be about it.” Countless times I saw my him do the right thing, even when doing the right hard thing was hard. I never saw the seams on him, I never knew if he had any doubts. If he felt bad, he never took it out on anyone or even let us feel the pressure of his feelings. I don’t know how he did it. He was also very fucking funny. All of his jokes followed with laughter. Not once did I hear him explain “what he was going for.” For example: my brother, Joe, came back 20 pounds heavier after his first two months away at college. When dad saw him he said “Jesus, Christ, Joe, you put on some weight!” My brother, in an effort to save face, lied and said “what are you talking about? I just lost 10 pounds!” Dad replied, “Where? At a crap game in England, you fat fuck?” Laughs. All the laughs. That’s my dad. Big C. Carmine Romeo Apruzzese.

You might have just thought to yourself, “this is nice but, what the fuck does this have to do with the worst thing he’s ever said? Oh, nice, a box of peach iced tea Snapples!” Relax, I’m getting to it. Open up the box of peach iced tea Snapples, take out each one and throw them in the garbage. Peach iced tea Snapples are terrible. Especially if you don’t realize they’re peach until after you get a mouthful of it’s awfulness. I imagine it’s a similar feeling that heterosexual men have when they pick up what they think is a female prostitute but later, after it’s already too late, find out it is a man in drag. That’s right. I imagine the feeling is the same. I wouldn’t know. Is your palate cleansed from my sincerity yet? Good. Now let’s dive back in.

To get a proper understanding of why what I said was the worst, you needed to know the key players and my relationship to them, which you now do. I’ll never forget the date of the worst thing I’ve ever said. It was September 30th, 2008, the day my dad died. I remember the day incredibly well. I had just graduated college a few months prior and didn’t have a day-job yet. I was still living at home and making pocket money by bartending three nights a week. On that particular sunny day, I woke up around 11 then watched “The Untouchables” starring Kevin Costner, Robert DeNiro, Sean Connery, and a young,  tight Andy Garcia. After that, I went to lunch with my friend Pat (which given how the day transpires, refuses to get lunch with me to this very day) at a place we frequented. A place in Jersey City called, coincidentally, Carmine’s Italian Deli. Ugh. I ate the day’s special for lunch: ravioli parmigiana. This was the first time I had ever heard of/violent consumed ravioli parmigiana. Essentially, it’s a bunch of raviolis, which are pasta-cheese pockets, covered in marinara and, get this, more cheese. After I over-ate, Pat was driving me back home when I got a call from my brother telling me to head to the school my father worked at because something “had happened.” At the time, my brother didn’t know dad had died yet either. As Rob Zombie has said (at least once in his life, I’m sure) “ignorance is bliss, Dragula.”

Second we pulled up to the school, knew something was wrong. There was a police car (key indicator) parked outside. I ran into the school and was cut off by a police officer who asked me who I was and I told him my name. His response was something I’ll never forget. He put his arm around me, lead me inside and said, “Anthony, we’re gonna have a bit of bad news for you.” This, of course, went down as the biggest understatement of 2008, merely edging out a thirteen year old’s science project that year entitled “The Sun is Good.” Once I got in the school, I saw my cousin Vinny (yes, I have a cousin Vinny and YES he is Joe Pesci), who’s a detective in Jersey City and he let me know my father had passed of a heart attack. I was the first of my immediate family to find out. They let me see him. He had died in the supply room in the basement of his job.

Job. My dad died at his job. I can’t type that without crying. When I went into the supply room I saw him laying on the floor. I asked my cousin, the other cop, and some paramedics to leave me alone with him and they abided. I still can’t get over the unfairness of it all. Not for me, but for him. My dad died alone on the unswept floor of an elementary school supply room. No pillow beneath his head, no loved one by his side, he deserved better. He deserved the best because that’s what he was. But man, that’s life. This is how it goes: unexpected and grossly not what we had imagined. Unfair. I approached his body. Rested on him was a generic looking, thick, pale sky blue blanket the had paramedics placed on him. It covered him from his ankles to the clavicle. His left arm lay against his side and his right arm was outstretched, pointing nine o’clock. I try not to think about why his right arm was like that. However, thoughts creep in my head that paint a picture of him struggling hard, reaching for life but coming up empty. It’s hard to imagine him like that because I never saw him struggle in real life. I grabbed his left hand. I could feel the life leaving his body as I promised him, through tears, that I’d try my best. Only he and I really know what that means and only he and I know if I’m keeping that promise. I did him a favor and the world a disservice by shutting his coffee with milk brown eyes for the last time. My dad, the heart of the Apruzzese’s of Bayonne, NJ, had beat for the last time. That’s when my brother arrived and got his bit of bad news. Shortly thereafter, the hardest thing I’ve ever witnessed happened. Mom got there. She knelt beside her dead husband, the father to her children and in some respects her too and wailed. She asked God “why?” and begged my father to come back. The girl whose parents abandoned her was now a woman and abandoned again. After what I’m sure was only twenty seconds but felt like my whole life, I pulled her up from the ground, wiped the tears off of her face, looked her in the eyes and said it.

“Mom, I think you might have to get a second job.”

Needless to say, the attempt to break the tension by joking about how my mom will get by financially now that everyone’s favorite Apruzzese lay dead at the toes of my New Balances fell flat. It, as always, did not register with my mom as a joke and my brother briefly marveled at the consistency in which I never cease to disappoint. I’m not sure if they even remember I said that. It probably got swallowed up in what was most important about the day, the ravioli parmigiana special at Carmine’s Italian Deli.

I have told this story to a few people, but never with this much detail. There’s still much more that I have chosen to omit because it both doesn’t serve the purpose of this essay and because what’s left is mine and his. In writing this, I realized how I had chosen to immediately emulate my dad the second both my mom and brother arrived at the scene. I didn’t cry in front of them that day. The first thing I said when we were all together was a joke. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, for them.

Or, I’m an asshole.

I wish the years that followed were as retroactively well intentioned. The truth is, I grew cold. I tried to convince myself and everyone around me that my dad’s death didn’t bother me. I distanced myself from my mom and brother. I didn’t have my mom’s courage to love despite having lost badly in the past. Only recently have I tried to bridge the gap between who I became in order to survive and who I believe I am: Carmine’s son. It’s hard and scary to try. But that’s life. 

You can’t give up.

Well, that’s it. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever said. The sentiment came from what I believed was a very good place, like most of the worst things people have ever said.