this is the best one i have ever seen!

Underwatched Animated Films I Recommend You See at Least Once in Your Life

EDIT: i didn’t expect this post to get so many notes. for the record, these are just my personal recommendations, not a definitive list of best underrated animation. i also did not include anything made by Disney. I know that they made some movies that didn’t get as much attention as their other hits, but lists of underwatched Disney films are pretty common, so I thought I’d make one of films by studios that aren’t household names. 

Angel’s Egg (1985)

This movie is a nearly silent film with painstakingly beautiful frames and environmental details. All I can say is that it is a real piece of art worth watching and can be watched on YouTube here.

Les Triplets de Belleville (The Triplets of Belleville) (2005)

An incredibly quirky, strange and humorous French film, also with almost no dialogue. The colors, creative storytelling, and almost caricature-like designs make the Triplets a must-see. The setting and timeframe is left sort of abstract, but it’s a clear transition from last-century rural France to the hustle and bustle of urban America. Lots of homage is paid to cartoons from the 1920s.

Mindgame (2004)

This movie, quite like the title says, blew my mind. It’s also incredibly strange and out-there, but the awkward imagery gives way to real emotion and huge payoff by the end. The colors and animation are delightful, and always tailored to the situation. It is an amazing intersection of an altered state, a love story, a struggle to get home, an existential trip, and an unlikely group of friends. I almost always cry when I watch this. Seriously, can’t stress this enough. There is absolutely nothing like Mindgame. 

Le Chat du Rabbin (The Rabbi’s Cat) (2011)

Rabbi’s Cat is a French film based on a French comic by the same name. The comic artist also directed the movie. Honestly, the dialogue  in this is unmatched. Both Cat and Rabbi are witty and have the best banter. The setting is one of the most unique and real-feeling I’ve ever seen a film take place in: a Jewish community in Algeria. It’s wonderful and incredibly charming, could not recommend more.

Tekkonkinkreet (2006)

This movie hits me on a number of levels. I have so much love for the two orphans, Black and White. The story quickly becomes raw and almost difficult, as it touches on a lot of the feelings we see in things like Grave of the Fireflies, but in a much more abstract way and on a much grander scale. Also less sad, but there are very sad parts also. I guess the best way to describe this movie is intense. While there are a lot of sweet, domestic moments, none of the gruesome reality is sugercoated for you. 

The visuals are all completely stunning; the art is on another level. Treasure Town is a rich, fantastical environment and the characters flow through it effortlessly, like water. You gotta see this at least once in your life. 

Chico and Rita (2010)

An American/Spanish romance between an aspiring piano player and a young singer. The film opens in Cuba and has a vibrant and unique visual style while exploring a multitude of music styles and cultural backdrops. It’s touching and sweet, but does not erase the hardships of being a black music star in America or living through the Castro regime. 

Wizards (1977)

Ralph Bakshi is notorious for underappreciated gems. Wizards is set in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world where magic is real and man has survived the radiation to evolve into fairies, elves, and dwarves. It’s a classic nature vs industry story with Bakshi’s unique spin. My favorite character is Necron 99, the assassin robot turned pacifist. I’ll warn you though, Bakshi films aren’t everyone’s taste (he’s responsible for Fritz the Cat, which against my better judgement I recommend as well).

Wizards was completed during the dark age of animation, and its fascinating to see how Bakshi gets around these limitations to produce something that grossed more than twice its budget.

Memories (1995)

Memories is a three part anthology based on three different manga short stories, Magnetic Rose, Stink Bomb, and Cannon Fodder. While the entirety of the movie is beautifully animated and worth the watch, the best of these is the first one. It is a mysterious, tragic sci-fi horror short film set in space and worked on by Satoshi Kon (so of course its amazing). 

Reasons to watch the LEGO Batman Movie
  • It’s so meta. Batman narrates through the opening logos and they show clips from the other adaptations of Batman and talk about how Joker and Batman have been fighting for 78 years. My personal favorite is when Alfred calls Batman out for all the Brooding™ he’s done since 1966.
  • It’s freaking hilarious. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s the funniest movie I’ve seen in years. The jokes always hit the mark and even just how the characters act are enough to get huge laughs.
  • The characters. Batman is of course amazing but there’s also Robin who’s a literal ray of sunshine, Alfred who is the coolest butler ever and so much more, one of the best adaptations of Joker, and Barbara Gordon who is such a competent leader and fighter and so amazing in general.
  • Batman’s and Joker’s relationship. Having Joker portrayed as wanting validation from Batman that he is his greatest enemy but Batman not reciprocating those feelings creates one of the funniest, most amazing hero-villian dynamics ever to be put to film. 
  • It’s actually emotional. Amongst all the hilarity and action scenes the movie does take time to address the concepts of loneliness, confronting one’s fears, if you are really a good person or not (or if you’re in between), and the nature of family. It gives so much depth to Batman that is hardly seen in other adaptations and that’s what makes it so great. 
The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends

(Not very original I know but I need to do something during this boring af evening)

ENFP
- cute
- childish
- full of ideas
- optimistic
- RaNdOm
-PUNS AND MEMES
- kinda geeky
-have a lot of feelings
- secretly evil

ENTJ
- ‘I wanna be the very best like no one ever waaaaas’
-natural leader
-considerate
- SO. DAMN. LUCKY
- easy going

INTP
-lazy
-smart
- can actually be very talkative if they like the subject
- PrOcRaStInAtIoN
- very funny in their own way
-trapped in their own world

ENTP
-have been told at least once in their life ‘you remind me of Barney Stinson’
-have 2000000+ projects at the same time
-actually finish like two of them
-never shut up
-can be good at everything
-but can only be excellent at bullshiting their way through life
-zero empathy
-dad jokes
-socially akward but still manage to look cool

ISTP
-take grammar way too seriously
-frank and direct
-meticulous
-witty
-look intimidating
-can actually be very affectionate if they feel like it
-strong mentally and physically
-know martial arts


ISFJ
-warm and nice
-so calm, it’s relaxing to be around them
-excellent listenners
-shaped like a friend
-have louder reactions than everyone else during movies or roller coaster rides
-don’t dislike a lot of things
-litteraly everyone like them
-easy to live with

ISFP
-FEEEEELIIIIINGS
-don’t like to be challenged
-have strong valors
-don’t understand if you don’t share said valors
-don’t overcome difficulties easily
-EXTREMELY SENSITIVE
-hate criticism, even constructive ones
-too easily offended
-moody
-trustworthy (when they like you)

INTJ
-seem cold and calculating
-make the best of friends if you take the time to know them
-snarky
-quiet
-if they don’t like you you’re dead
-have low patience
-analytical
-don’t handle feelings at all

INFJ
-MYSTERIOUS
-they know everything about you
-but you know nothing about them
-sarcasm
-take time to feel confortable around new people (like 2 years or so)
-long period of awkward silence
-(the silence is awkward for you, not them)
- people tend to like them but still think they’re 'weird’
-secretly a nerd

ESTP
-stereotype of the popular jock
-athletic af
-class clown
-perfectionists
-everyone love them
-always quoting lines from their favorite movies
-want to experience everything
-often come to class with a broken leg or something
-have the kind of humor that everyone like except NTs

ESFP
-'girl’ ESTP
-love to party
-will do stupid stuff just cause they felt like it
-will cry about said stupid things
-GOSSIP
-very loving persons
-their spiritual goddess might be Aphrodite
-loud
-funny

ESFJ
-overprotecting grandma
-will bake you cookies but will be highly offended if you’re not hungry for now
-generous, but will expect you to return the favor
-don’t like when people don’t agree with them
-don’t like to be out of their comfort zone
-can be bossy
-talkative

INFP
-full of crazy, great ideas
-bad at maths
-love to read
-RaVeNcLaW
-extremely moody
-open minded
-like to learn new stuff
-LOTS OF STRESS
-good at acting without even trying

ISTJ
-Like to follow the rules
-but is not afraid to bend them if they logically think they’re stupid
-bossy
-good student
-patient
-will glady help their classmates if they haven’t understood the lesson
-have difficulties to think out of the box
-book smart
-organized

And I don’t know any ENFJ or ESTJ. (I mostly have NTs and INFPs friends.)

Also sorry if the ISFP is a bit harsh but the ones I know drive me nuts.

This is of course not representative of all the types at all.

Relatable Ryders

The Ryder twins are two of the most relatable protagonists I’ve ever seen in a video game:

- Awkward af, sarcasm and one liners are their speciality

- Can’t flirt to save their lives

- Certified Human Disasters ™

- Make weird faces when the talk

-Walk kind of funny

- Have no idea what’s going on

- Trying to do their best in a scary world

modern high school!au vox machina group memes

  • Grog’s foolproof plan to seduce Tom Hardy
  • Percy’s sexual orientation is Exhaustion
  • grog responding to literally any text message with “GET WRECKED”
  • “Listen. Vex’s eyeliner is so sharp it could kill a man,”
  • Pike responding to anyone in the group swearing with “WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH” 
  • keyleth being both horrified by and incredibly, implausibly skilled at those deer hunter video games with the plastic guns
  • yelling “THEY’RE SIBLINGS, YOU FUCKS” when someone assumes Pike and Grog or Keyleth and Percy are dating
  • Scanlan asking Pike to prom at least three times a month
  • “what is keyleth doing?” “her best”
  • pointing at lawn gnomes and saying “look, it’s scanlan”
  • “I’m just saying, have we ever seen Scanlan and Tary in the same room?”
    • Tary, standing next to Scanlan: “YES”
  • saying “where the fuck is vax?” when vax is standing three feet away
  • WWPD: what would Pike do? 
  • picking a random inanimate object, pretending it’s vax, and having a conversation with it in the place of the real Vax when vax Disappears and no one feels like going to look for him
  • Keyleth The Frog Murderer
    • “guys, that was ONE TIME. and the frog was already dead”
  • *points at stranger* “who is that?” “i don’t know but they probably owe Vex money”
    • Vex, sliding her ten dollar Target sunglasses down her nose: “damn straight” 
  • exchanging blurry candid pictures of Percy with the caption CONFIRMED when he’s taking too long to text back 
  • Grog secretly being Hillary Clinton
He reminds me of a cold breeze during summer nights. When I refused to fall asleep until midnight. He reminds me of a strange note I’ve found above my table when I came to work, saying good morning and wishing me a nice day. He reminds me of sunsets with some drizzles. He’s the one— who I thought of each and every time I see something beautiful. Something wonderful that it makes my heart aches for more. He is someone I haven’t seen for a very long time. But he will always be a book in my series. A star in my constellation. He was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And even if we hadn’t ended up in each other’s arms, he will always have the character that can make my heart feel warm.
—  ma.c.a // Sometimes in Forever
fake fake fake
  • the clip starts with eva talking about causeries: humorous written piece that, in english, can be referred to as “talk of the town”. eva says she’s not good at it while noora says she doesn’t even know what it is. 👀👀👀
  • even before sana starts focusing on the carrot munching, from the very first second of the clip, the audio has a slight echo to it. which could just be the staircase in which they’re in but i’d think that the team would fix it in post-prod. i feel like they left it because it gives a daydreaming quality to the scene and sana’s pov. from the start, she’s not really listening.
  • carrot munching from the trailer
  • i’ve seen people comment that noora is eating too loudly, that’s not what it is.
    firstly: have you ever managed to eat a carrot silently? and secondly: the shot is to show how much sana is annoyed by noora now. when you hate someone, you tend to find every single thing they do annoying. suddenly, they breathe too loud, eat too loud, are just generally gross.
  • in my attempt to find out if there was a word for this phenomenon other than misophonia (as i understand it, misophonia is when you’re hypersensitive to certain sounds regardless of the context or person…i was looking for a word for when it happens only when you hate someone), i discovered a video of 5mn of carrot munching noises. here it is if you want to die.
  • the mcdonald’s discourse
  • sana looks outside at sara, vilde, and laila and…
  • …i’ll come back to this image later.
  • as sana focuses on noora and eva joining the group, she tunes out the noise around her just as when in prayer or when she was looking at yousef’s facebook profile. it seems that the music from sigur rós is used here as it was used in the other focusing scenes.
  • isak literally gets his nose into other people’s business (and i feel that almost everyone noticed immediately, despite how little of the frame it takes, because of the reading sense)
  • again, we have isak trying to reach sana and he says exactly what’s on sana’s mind: “has sara stolen all your friends?”

[cont. after the “read more”]

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Have you ever seen this ship and then at first you were like

“Ehh, no. No thank you move on”

But then you kept seeing more of it and the fanart was gorgeous and you were like

“Okay, fine. Maybe a little. Yeah, like best bros no homo tho”

And then one day something clicked in you and you were like

“Ah, shit. I love them”

Queerbaiting in BBC Sherlock

Note: Before you label me as a ‘butthurt LGBTQ fan’ (as if such a thing even exists), I’m straight. Because apparently that makes my opinion valid now.

What is queerbaiting? 

There’s a pretty wide definition, actually, but the one that’s most relevant here is: it’s when you make very heavy references to queer relationships or even queer characters in your shows, but then you never follow through on these references. It’s done to increase viewership and draw LGBTQ fans in (because of the promise of positive representation). So basically, it’s a marketing technique, but a harmful one.

Why is queerbaiting harmful?

Think of it this way. You’re gay/bi/a lesbian, and people around you aren’t very accepting or are plain homophobic. You see these two men on TV, and you start thinking…wait, it looks like they’re in love. You go online and realize that you’re not the only one reading the show in this way - there are literally thousands of other people interpreting it the same way. So you tell everyone around you, look at these two men. They’re gay and in love, and this is a popular TV show, and it means that my sexuality and my feelings are valid, and there’s nothing wrong with how I feel. Everyone laughs at you and says “Nope, they aren’t in love. You’re delusional.” 

You think, okay, let them laugh. When this becomes cannon, they’ll know. The queer subtext is all there, and the writers wouldn’t dare not follow through on it, right? But sadly, the queer subtext remains just that: subtext. And suddenly all the homophobes around you stand validated.

But there’s no gay subtext in BBC Sherlock. It’s just a wishful ship.

Wrong. I’m not saying that everyone has to ship Johnlock, but no matter what you ship, you can’t deny the gay subtext in this show. People have written thousands of words worth of meta about it - and it all makes perfect sense. (I believe @inevitably-johnlocked has a master list - or she can link you to one). There are videos decoding all the gay subtext -  let’s take the example of TJLC Explained - 48 videos, and they add up to a total time of 37 hours, 49 minutes and 41 seconds - each one decoding a different aspect of the gay subtext in BBC Sherlock. Apart from the TJLC Explained series, there are a lot of other videos doing the same thing. Sure, a small number of such videos and meta are a little far-fetched, but the majority of them are well-referenced, well-written, and properly decode the various literary tropes used by BBC Sherlock. (Like, seriously, kudos to this fandom for being the absolute best meta-writers I have ever seen. You could turn half of these metas in as proper college essays.)

But the writers and BBC have said that there is no gay subtext.

The problem isn’t even so much with Johnlock not becoming cannon - it’s with the way Mofftiss and BBC have responded to being called out for their bullshit. Yes, they did a complete 180 around the time of season 4, saying “that is not the story we want to tell” and “it has never been implied that John and Sherlock are in love”. When so many people, literally thousands, are reading your show the exact same way, it’s because you put the subtext in there. Saying anything else is an insult to our intelligence - and again, it’s blatant queerbaiting and feeding heteronormativity and straight culture.

*yawn* Heteronormativity and straight culture are myths.

In His Last Vow, if Sherlock had come back to life for Molly or Irene Adler, everyone would insist that he’s in love with them. There would be no question about it. He came back to life for John, but him and John are eternal bros, right?

That, my friend, is heteronormativity right there.

Basically, you’re bitter that your ship didn’t become canon. 

LOL. Read above^ you think anyone would put in this much effort just because ‘their ship didn’t become canon’? The Johnlock community is literally comprised of people of all ages, sexualities, nationalities, and genders. So honestly, pegging us as ‘horny teenage fangirls’ - bit ridiculous. We aren’t waving flags and going around yelling “It’s gay because they looked at each other!”, we’re actually ANALYZING and DECODING the show. Before you label us, go read some meta, then tell us we’re still delusional for believing Johnlock could be real.

Besides, I don’t see such an uproar happening about hetero ships. You know why? Because they have representation, whereas LGBTQ representation in media is still severely lacking.

But artists have the right to do what they want with their art. 

Of course they do, but if my art offended an entire sect of society, I think I’d at least apologize, instead of blatantly denying everything and insulting the people who called me out for my bullshit. 

Additions to this post here

I’M SORRY BUT KOREA’S WINTER OLYMPIC MASCOT (white tiger?? Baekho is S h o o k ) DANCING TO NU’ESTs ‘OVERCOME’ IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN WITH MY OWN TWO EYES.

Trying to do the bodyrolls like Minhyun is the cutest shit ever

anonymous asked:

Please please share your thoughts on Wonder Woman? Thank you! :)

ANYONE WHO WATCHED WONDER WOMAN (2017) DIR. PATTY JENKINS AND WASN’T COMPLETELY IN LOVE IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED

Some thoughts:

  • So we all knew it was going to be emotional to FINALLY have a female superhero movie, but the movie exceeded those expectations. The fight scenes were incredible and so focused on Diana and what she was capable of – the men basically weren’t even there. The fuckin no man’s land scene SAVED MY LIFE. Superhero movies are known for being heavy handed and this one didn’t escape that for sure (the love speech at the end was….a lot), but that scene was so well done…they didn’t have to stoop to some Éowyn knock off line of “I am no man,” we were allowed to just see her do what real women do - step up and do it. Even though that wasn’t the first time we’ve seen her in full Wonder Woman costume on screen, it felt like it was, like it was the first time I’d EVER seen ANY hero before and it took my breath away. By far the best Superhero Reveal Moment I’ve ever seen. My girl taking out bullets right and left, drawing fire from the entire German army!! Fuck me up!!!
  • You can’t talk about this film without talking about gender role reversals. Chris Pine was So Perfect and I think they really couldn’t have pulled the movie off if they’d cast any other white boy in the role. He was funny but genuine, capable but never arrogant, charming but not entitled about it. He learned quickly what Diana was capable of and respected her for it, always moving to the sideline during the fight scenes (the shield moment with the bell tower comes to mind - who needs a sniper when you can fuckin launch a god at the shooter??), knowing that these were her fights and never trying to mansplain her out of them. He wanted to protect her, but didn’t underestimate her - all the things that a typical female romantic interest does in these kind of movies. It was amazingly well balanced, so much so that I didn’t even mind the romantic sub plot. Plus he was almost entirely naked there, way to play to the audience my dudes!!!!
  • The historical context did the movie such a great service. The outward displays of sexism became so ridiculous when faced with Diana, who genuinely had never had to deal with the patriarchy’s bullshit before. It didn’t just make the men in London look pathetic and mean, it cast a large shadow over the way that women are treated today. 
  • The Dark DC Gradient™ on all the shots isn’t my favorite but it did Chris Pine’s fuckin bright blue eyes a huge favor
  • Gal Gadot was so fuckin good??? Not only was she beautiful, like really really distractingly beautiful, like I kept having to force myself to pay attention to the dialogue cause I, like Steve Trevor, could not stop looking at her (and she’s standing next to Genuine Stud Chris Pine and still?? SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL). But she was way more then that, her performance was spot on. Diana was naive, commanding, strong, compassionate - while never being reduced down to just a one note version of these things. She felt so real to me, in a genre that spends very little time on character development. Even in the sappiest parts of the script, she sold it. She absolutely sparkled. 
  • Some of the best dialogue was the back and forth between Diana and Steve when she’s asking questions about mankind/London - it was cute and funny without being too overdone or obvious, which it easily could have been
  • The villains weren’t much to write home about, but they didn’t need to be. The movie was so laser focused on Diana and Steve that they really didn’t matter, you could self insert whatever you wanted to there
  • Themyscira is the ideal for I too want to hang out on the beach and never see a man again
  • Also that lesbian line, and how stupid male reviewers blindly did not understand it!!! Fuckin drag em
  • But also the fight scenes on Themyscira were INCREDIBLE. I wish that first section had been a bit longer just because I was enjoying it so much, but it was so refreshing to see all women on screen - women who fought and loved and supported each other. Incredible. 

I haven’t enjoyed, really enjoyed, to the point of not having to think about the message or the structure or how much fuckin time I’ve wasted listening to some male superhero talk about honor or some equally boring garbage, since The Avengers came out in 2012. Even then, Wonder Woman felt like something else entirely. It leaned on many of the same tropes and sequences, but there was enough reinvention in between (particularly the characters, who I felt were much more fleshed out then any superhero movie I’ve seen before) to make it feel fresh and exciting. This so easily could have been a throw away movie, a chance for movie execs to point and say, hey we tried with women that one time!! But Patty Jenkins, and Gal Gadot, and all the other women who worked on this incredible production, knew what was at stake, and weren’t going to let that happen. Every time I see a little girl dressed up as Diana Prince, on her way to the theater, my heart fills more and more. During the film, I found myself on the verge of tears five or six times - sometimes because it was so beautiful, to see a woman who felt so real being strong and vulnerable and saving the damn world, but other times because the plot itself genuinely moved me. Wonder Woman is revolutionary for the industry, sure, but more importantly, it’s just a damn good movie. 

Oh Sehun//Fast Lane

Originally posted by lawlliets

Summary: You finally find out how your big cousin earns her money - she’s the flag girl for the illegal street races in your neighborhood, and now she’s dragging you along. And that’s where you meet the Hawaii-shirt wearing, orange-headed Oh Sehun, ace street racer and smartass.
Scenario: street racer!au 
Word Count: 6,337

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Handyman

Handyman (m)

Word count: 9.4k

Genre/Warnings: smut, angst, sub!Jimin, dirty talk

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Summary: Jimin is your landlord’s son. After one stressful day he comes to fix your shower for you. You find yourself constantly thinking about him. Could he be the perfect submissive? (here’s some lovely Jimin moans for the occasion: credit to owner)

I’ve been working on this for forever so i’m excited about it! :)

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Shapely🍑

Summary: Bucky and Steve will never let you know that they’re the heads of your booty’s fanclub.

Authors note: It was so hard to find old timey slang for butt. Like we have so many words now I was surprised lmao.

Warnings: None, Bucky and Steve appreciating that cake


  Your jeans only make it halfway up your thighs before they refuse to budge. You groan.

‘And this was my favorite pair too’

You sigh, before peeling off the jeans and rooting around in your dresser for something that you can wear. You never were the skinniest person, especially when it came to your hips and thighs. But then again you never were exactly bootylicious either. So when you became a SHEILD agent you thought your body would kinda slim down into a  svelte mass of lean, toned muscle like the other female agents.

 Boy were you wrong. 

You gained muscle, and a lot of it too. Every single inch of you had at least some definition and your thighs had bulked up considerably. As for your butt….You sneak a peek at it in the mirror ‘I swear it gets bigger every day’ . Since you had joined the Avengers last year and your training had gotten even more intense you swear your booty had doubled in size. Your body was very… in your face nowadays. Wanda kindly described you as ‘shapely’. You pull out a pair of denim shorts that have some slight stretch to them.

You look at yourself in the mirror sighing. ‘ If I get anymore shapely I’m gonna have to buy an entire new wardrobe.’ 


“Pal, why is ya oatmeal always so…” Steve makes a face “…Soggy?”

Bucky and Steve are sitting eating breakfast, at a table that’s situated slightly back and across from the kitchen, next to an open door. Bucky snorts.

“It’s oatmeal Steve, it’s supposed to be soggy.” Steve rolls his eyes but takes another bite of his oatmeal, making a mental note to make breakfast himself the next morning.

Bucky lets out a soft, low whistle. Steve turns his his head, slowly. He knows what that whistle means. He watches as you enter from the other side of the room, cross the kitchen and start rifling in the cabinets. Or rather he watches your ass cross the kitchen and start rifling in the cupboards. You Steve, and Bucky were pretty good friends. You had surprisingly befriended Bucky first, and then Steve. Bucky had been making a good recovery, but was still kind of shy, except around Steve and Sam, and then you. Your sense of humor and openness kind of disarmed him. The three of you would always hang out, watch movies, and talk about anything and everything. But the one thing that Bucky and Steve would never mention is that they both agreed that you by far had the best body they had ever seen. And they were low-key its fan club. The super soldier’s eyes track you as you gather your cup of tea and cheese danish in one hand and exit the room.

“Now ain’t that a beautiful sight to see in the morning?” Bucky says, smirking and sipping his coffee. 

“Yes,” Steve smirks back “As I always say,the lady is truly blessed.”

“Amen.” Bucky says raising his coffee mug. “I mean have you ever seen such beautiful gams on a dame?”

“No,”  Steve pushes back his bowl of soggy oatmeal and crosses his arms over his chest. A devious grin forms on his face. “But that’s not the only thing that’s beautiful.”

Bucky’s grin widens to epic shit eating proportions. “True, Y/N’s a bit broad in the beam, ain’t she?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 Your voice coming from behind them nearly stops both super soldier’s hearts. They turn, mouths slack, to find you standing in the doorway behind their table, tea and cheese danish in one hand, the other perched on your hip.

“Ah-um-I-um” Steve splutters, unable to form words. Bucky, on the other hand, decides distraction is the best course of action.

“Y/N! Sugar, sweetheart, you look lovely today. How’s that cheese danish? I heard the weather’s going to be nice , maybe we should go to the park?” He exclaims, red slowly creeping up his neck until his whole face is scarlet. You silently look from Steve to Bucky. ‘Well if they’re not gonna spill, Google will’

You pull out your phone and look at it. “Well looks like I have somewhere to be so I’ll see you boys later.”

You turn, hearing twin goodbye’s being called out after you, with at least one voice cracking in the middle.


You retreat back your room and fire up your laptop. Bucky and Steve were always using obscure old timey slang that no one understood. ‘they better haven’t been throwing shade…’ you shake your head. It seemed like they were talking about something physical about you, and not in a bad way. You feel warm and kind of insecure at the same time. You couldn’t deny that the two super soldiers were very attractive.

You open google and type “gams meaning” into the search engine.


gam

/ɡam/

noun,informal

plural noun: gams

  1. a leg, especially in reference to the shapeliness of a woman’s leg.

A giggle escapes your mouth. ‘oh my’ you think.

You type the next phrase into Google, and click on the phrase dictionary that comes up.


Broad in the beam

Meaning:

Having wide hips or buttocks


You stare at the screen for a moment and then  recall the overheard conversation. Your mouth falls open as you choke out a laugh ‘Oh my god’


Later that day you find Bucky,Steve and Sam sitting outside. You join them, and they all greet you, but you notice Bucky isn’t looking you in the eye and Steve’s ears are pink. Sam doesn’t seem to notice the tension and dives into a story about sweeping a girl off her feet in the local coffee shop.

“…then she gave me her number.”

“That’s great!” Steve says “You gonna take her out soon?”

“Yeah this weekend”

“That is great,” Bucky smiles “What does she look like?” he asks curiously.

“Man she had the cutest laugh, and those dimples…” Sam pauses, smiling to himself. “She had short dark hair, and was so curvy…..like damn.” Everyone chuckles a bit at this, and after the chuckles stop you pipe up.

“Curvy? Sam get with the times, you don’t call women curvy anymore, its called being broad in the beam.” You say and smirk at the two super soldiers. They promptly turn bright red, Bucky choking a little bit. Sam whips his head back and forth between the three of you.

“Am I missing something?” he asks.

 Steve clears his throat, holding out his hands imploringly.

“Y/n, sugar, listen. I can explain”


tags: @stephie-senpai @chamongangae

@iamwarrenspeace

in case you haven’t noticed, i’m straight. i’m a straight man. i don’t ‘bang dudes’ and i don’t wanna ‘bang dudes’. have you ever seen me without this stupid internalised homophobia which causes me to repeatedly seduce women i don’t have any emotional connection with to maintain my precarious self-image while vehemently denying that i feel anything more than friendship for my best friend / roommate / life partner of the last 25 years despite the fact that i once publicly serenaded him with a love song at one of our monthly dinner dates until i flee the city in panic shortly after he comes out for fear of my own big feelings? THAT’S straight.

Why I can’t and won’t finish watching Iron Fist

Before anyone tries to jump down my throat about being a stupid SJW who only cares about the race angle, I would first like to point out that I enjoyed the hell out of Daredevil, another Marvel Netflix show starring a white man practicing Asian martial arts. It’s all in the execution, guys. And the execution here is garbage.

Let’s start with the martial arts. For the love of fuck, if you just HAVE to get a generic white man to play the lead, the least you could do was get one who was good at traditional martial arts. There are a lot of them. Charlie Cox, one Netflix recommendation over, pulls off some of the best fight scenes I have ever seen in a TV show (also, the man can act, so that helps too). Last month, I watched a red-belt student of mine in a local production of Macbeth. At twelve, that kid has more talent (in the acting and martial arts departments) than this Finn Jones tool.

Jessica Henwick’s form is nothing to write home about but at least she’s better than Jones. And both our action heroes would benefit greatly from some less shitty fight choreography and editing. (Guys, just adding loud ‘swoosh’ sound effects isn’t going to trick me into thinking the sword is swinging faster. I can see it).

To add insult to injury, the show condescendingly tries to make me believe that this pasty-ass piece of mediocrity is a better martial artist than Colleen Wing?? Just has him casually trounce her in her own dojo. With those wibbly-wobbly stances, son? I don’t think so. This is not real life, nor is it good fiction. This is some flabby-ass white guy’s jerk-off fantasy of being super awesome and showing up the hot Asian chick without any understanding martial arts whatsoever.

The acting in this show ranges from serviceable to painfully inept (lookin’ at you Meachum Jr. or whatever the fuck your name is, I’ll have forgotten your whole existence by tomorrow for all the impression you leave). Even the competent performances in this show only serve to remind me of more interesting characters from Netflix’s other Marvel shows. For example, Jessica Stroup’s acting is similar to Deborah Ann Woll’s performance as Karen Page, only serving to remind me that Karen Page alone is a more interesting character with more compelling scenes than half the cast of Iron Fist put together.

I will say that Colleen Wing is quite appealing and I applaud Henwick for making her both tough and charming, not an easy line to walk. If I wanted to be mean, I could point out that she is essentially just a Claire Temple 2.0 in terms of her temperament and her role as shelter and support to the Main White Guy at the point of her introduction. But I don’t actually want to pick on Colleen. She’s cute and I like her.

Now, back to being mean: STOP trying to make white characters look cool by having them speak Chinese (or any language they can’t speak for that matter, though I feel Mandarin generally gets a special kind of mangling for the crime of being a tonal language). It doesn’t sound cool. I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, guys. It makes you sound like a fucking idiot. Okay, sure, maybe you succeeded in making your white English-speaking audience think, ‘yeah, that’s really cool, he must be super smart and badass, I want to be like that.’ But White people, I am telling you this for your own good: you don’t want to be like that. Because as cool as that butchered-ass Mandarin may sound to you, it’s like a band-saw to my eardrums. It brings everything to a cringing, teeth-grinding halt in the middle of what might otherwise be a perfectly good scene. Remember when Wilson Fisk had a conversation with Madame Gao in ‘Mandarin’? That was the worst part of Netflix’s Daredevil. Worse, it made me embarrassed for an actor I greatly admire. So, to whoever decided it was a great idea to have Wilson Fisk show off his Mandarin, thanks dickhead. You wrecked an entire scene for my favorite Marvel villain.

Oh yeah, and if any of you want to try to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about, fucking come at me bro. I have a black belt and 10+ years of training in traditional martial arts. I am a Chinese-American woman, proficient in Japanese and Mandarin, and I double majored in East Asian History and Buddhist studies.

Oh, did I mention that our protagonist keeps condescendingly spouting mystical pseudo-Buddhist bullshit to everyone he meets? And then throws temper tantrums when they (shock!) don’t take him seriously? God, I hate this show.

If I want to see better acting, I can go see a middle school play. If I want to see better fighting, I can go to the dojo and watch my seven-year-old green belts spar. If I want to hear Buddhist philosophy mangled by self-impressed white people, I can go to the yoga studio next door. 

the last three pages translated [roughly]

Annie: “Anyway, let’s go”

when Bert and Reiner follow her they start talking 

Bert: Is it really okay?

Reiner: huh?

Bert: you have a goal after all.,..but you only have 13 more years left though..

Reiner:  But i’ll be able to become a hero within those 13 years right?

if I defeat the evil ones of Paradis and rid them of this world.. I will have saved the Eldian peo-…no, the world.  And then i’ll be the  best son the world has ever seen [or be the best boy in the world]

Eren: haa, I wonder if something will happen today.

Armin: So there you are Eren!!

[the text on the panel says] The sky they both look up at is connected.


[as requested by @the-lazy-titan ]