this is supposed to be ray

hoe tips 💅💕

• if you have sensitive skin, avoid foaming cleansers that act as astringets!! lemon and witch hazel cleansers are going to tear your shit up and leave your skin thinner and fucked. go with aloe and natural ingredients for better results, no problemo bih 👊

• that drink 8 cups or 64oz don’t work for me. makes a bitch too damn full!! work your way from soda and sugary drinks like juice and take it step by step. but let’s be honest, everyone drinks it, so don’t beat yourself up about it, drink what you want. if you aim to decrease the amount of soda/juice, always go back to the basics: a big ol’ cup of water. consume the amount of water that goes hand in hand with your weight, not just out of the blue 5-6 cups. a good alternative is putting fruit in your water if you don’t like the taste. or, you can always flavor it! 🌟

• don’t go too all out on those lip scrubs! if you do it too often, such as four times a week, your lips are going to get drier, crustier, and feel stripped and thin. we’ve all been there! exfoliate 1-2x a week to avoid this. however, chapstick does the job too 💋

• mix avocado oil, jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, and aloe vera gel and dilute the oils with water and pour it into a spray bottle. this is crucial as a detangler and a boost to the hair. makes it all soft and shit 👏 unfortunately, it’s a bit pricey, so you can always look for sales or discounts online!

• rose hip oil softens lips 💞

• lips are what everybody looks at. do you want them looking chapped asf?! invest in a lip mask. slather on organic manuka honey that is unrefined for 10 minutes, and then wash off with warm water or a washcloth👍

• dandelion root tea is a good substitute for coffee, but coffee’s good too, so just indulge in both!☕

• most of us stay up long into the mornings, which probably makes us wake up with dark circles and eye bags. don’t fret! to nix puffiness, dampen a washcloth with ice cold water and leave it on your eyes and under them for 3-5 minutes. if this is in morning, it can also help you wake up! if you’re looking to treat yourself, invest in some eye patches! 👼

• rose water is a GREAT toner! once you dab it on your face with a cotton ball, you immediately feel refreshed and ready to start your day 💪 teddie organics has a mist on sale for $10.88! it’s on amazon.

• applying sunscreen is essential to protect your skin from those nasty uv rays. but some forget their hair! if you get a sunburn on your scalp, it will hurt like HELL 🔥use spray sunscreen specialized for hair and slightly mist your hairline to avoid it. use a heat protectant like argan oil if you a broke hoe like me 💯 stack up!

on another note, don’t trust hair products with supposed uv filters. those only protect your hair color, not your actual hair!

• washing your hair, it’s better to wash it first with hot/warm water and then do the second wash with cold water to close up and seal moisture into the hair follicles! 4c hair especially needs this 👱

• hair products with OIL, PLASTICIZERS, and SILICONES will definitely clog your pores if they get on your skin and will leave your ass at square 1!! avoid that.

• yogurt and miso soup are probiotics that help fasten metabolism and hold moisture in your skin! 😇 that’s why yogurt face masks are bomb and every person should try them :)

• if you live in new york, atlanta, etc., you are bound to pollution. that’s why it’s always good to wash your face before bed to get rid of pollutant particles that will clog pores. afterwards, apply an antioxidant serum and a good moisturizer! lean towards products with white tea, green tea, and vitamin c to make the ultimate pore-cleansing mask! it’ll leave your skin feeling clean and make it glow 🌟🌟

• deep condition your hair 1-2 times a week or every two weeks!! it’s intense and has your hair feeling silky smooth. avocado, mayo, honey, sweet almond oil, and coconut oil mixture is my go-to, and my curls have blossomed! if you buy a deep conditioner from the store, make sure it’s water based and is sulfate free and paraben free (shea moisture and as i am are superb for beard cleansers as well!)👸💋

• go barefaced. prove to misogynistic assholes that makeup does not define a person’s beauty or attractiveness nor their personality. embrace your flaws and remain imperfect to society, because you are the one who knows that you are perfect 💋👏👏

• be yourself, work hard, and recognize your fucking worth 💕💕💕

• btw, honey ain’t shit if it’s not organic and raw. coconut oil ain’t shit for the hair or skin if it’s not unrefined, organic, and virgin (extra virgin is even better)! essential oil like tea tree oil that helps as acne treatments are skin-thinners if you don’t dilute them with water or a different substance. rose water ain’t shit if it’s not organic and 100% pure 😑😢 invest in your skincare/lifestyle! go online and dig for the right prices and take them before they’re all gone!

happy hoeing!

honestly I can’t believe the writers of this show think their audience is so fucking stupid like I’m supposed to believe that an ENTIRE SECRET GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION THAT INCLUDES ONE MEMBER WHO CAN READ MINDS FOR FUCK SAKES IS DUMB ENOUGH NOT TO NOTICE JEREMIAH WAS A FUCKING CYBORG LIKE DID YOU TAKE AN X-RAY??? but fucking frat boy Mon-El is smart enough to figure out he’s not to be trusted in .6 seconds that’s what I’m supposed to believe? this is like a couple episodes ago with Maggie and the missing people and Winn finding a link in 5 seconds but 100x worse like sorry I’m not gonna let myself be disrespected like that Glee wouldn’t even to that to me… bye

It’s finally finished! I wanted to make this comic for the snap election, but if the Tories win I feel like it’s gonna be relevant for the next few years. 

I messaged a few of the spoonie blogs I follow to see if they would be okay with me tagging them in this. I got responses from @spooniediaries and @heyatleastitsnotcancer but I didn’t want to tag anyone else who hadn’t given me their consent.

Caption/script under the cut - please reblog and share. (Note: the captioning is reaaaaally long - it might crash your phone if you’re on mobile).

Keep reading

so with the news about geoff taking a sabbatical, my brain did the “ridiculous headcanon” thing it does and imagined fake ah crew geoff getting burned out (”because organizing you assholes is like trying to herd a fucking swarm of hornets”) and deciding to go on vacation for a while to recharge

and geoff’s basically like “do not call me unless there is an emergency,” and for geoff an emergency consists of:

  • the actual, literal apocalypse
  • nothing else
  • do not call him

but geoff pretty quickly finds out that for the crew, an emergency can be:

  • “did you pack underwear” —jack
  • “i can’t find the remote” —gavin
  • “geoff please i can’t find it call me back” —gavin
  • “gavin and i are arguing about the probability of flipping three coins and the– geoff? hello? did you hang up on me?” —ryan
  • “ryan ended his murder break because of an argument with gavin and is trying to blow up everything in the tri-county area” —michael
  • “michael’s a fucking tattletale” —ryan
  • “i’m drunk and i wrote a rap about you here listen” —jeremy
  • “i’m drunk and jeremy wrote a rap about you and i beatboxed and it’s amazing please answer your phone” —lindsay
  • “i’m drunk and weepy and i miss you” —virtually everyone, on the same night
  • (“i’m sober and annoyed and please save me” —ray)

geoff bursts into the penthouse two weeks before he’s supposed to return and everybody’s basically like what the hell are you doing geoff you’re supposed to be relaxing and geoff has a conniption fit

If Ravus Was a Party Member... (Banter)

Ignis: “We must restock on our supply of curatives.”
Ravus: “Curatives would not be a necessity of someone would cease falling in combat.”
Prompto: “Hey! It’s not my fault the monsters keep chasing me!”
Ravus: “Because they must be after that irresistible charm of yours.”
Prompto: “And what if they are?!”

——

Noctis: “Man, it’s hot… I don’t know how you aren’t cooking alive in your coat, Ravus.”
Ravus: “My burning hatred for people allows me to become resistant to the heat.”
Noctis: “Uh…”
Ravus: “…That was supposed to be a joke.”

——

Gladiolus: “Pretty useful with that blade there, Ravus.”
Ravus: “More useful than you, I fear.”

——

Prompto: “Wow, the lighting here would make for a perfect photo! Let’s get a shot of all of us here!”
Noctis: “Sure. I’m game.”
Ravus: *disgusted noise* “I would much rather not.”
Prompto: “Come on, Ray. Lighten up and smile a bit more, buddy!”
Noctis: “That’d be a scary sight.”
Ravus: “Then I shall make it my point to smile more. Just for you.”

——

Ravus: “Raining once more? Such awful weather…”
Gladiolus: “What? Afraid of a little water?”
Ravus: “Water plus dirt results in mud, Amicitia. Removing stains from my attire is far from something I wish to do.”
Ignis: “Just as I refuse to do as well.”
Prompto: “Shoulda made black your color, buddy.”

—— 

Ravus: “Amicitia! You are the King’s Shield! Act like it!”
Gladiolus: “Kinda hard when there’s a bean-pole in my way!”

——

Ravus: “A decent fight, Caelum. Well done.”
Noctis: “Was that a compliment…?”
Ignis: “I do believe that was.”
Prompto: “Look at that! Making progress!”
Ravus: “…On second thought, I take back what I said.”
Noctis: “No take-backs. I’ll take what I can get from you.”

SU Theory: Why They Came To Earth--Pink Diamond’s Role

I have no idea if this has been said or speculated anywhere else in the fandom, but I was looking at those murals of the Diamonds again, and something struck me. Something big. This starts off bizarre but I promise it ties together smoothly.
-
White Diamond’s mural depicts her with this giant halo behind her head, a large circle with what I think is supposed to be rays of light shining down. In her hands safely rests Homeworld, secure and strong in her possession. Above her are other planets we assume she conquered.   

Now on to her sisters, Blue and Yellow Diamonds. They have lots of planets around them but look at their heads.

They have much smaller halos. Why? 

Y’know who else has the only other giant halo? 

We can deduce that all that fancy stained glass jazz behind them is what they’re wearing; YD’s huge shoulders and skirt/leg cape…thing, BD’s dress and WD’s full on royal robe. So we can assume that everything shown in these murals means something.

Why are White Diamond and Pink Diamond shown as seemingly more important than the other two? Because they are/were. 

Why? How? Well…

Peridot shared a very important bit of info; Homeworld is running out of resources. Now because of how the show presented it to us, we have no idea for how long Homeworld’s been in that situation. For all we know, it could have been bleeding out for eons now, they live for such a long time. 

By “running out of resources”, consider instead that Peridot meant Homeworld is dying. Considering Peridot came from Homeworld proper and not some colony planet, we know they actively make gems on Homeworld. Safe to say, that’s probably what’s draining it dry. Gemkind is a warring race, they conquer other planets to add to their empire, supposedly so they can make more gems.

Now this may seem like a really stupid question but, I always asked myself, why so many? Managing control over that many colonies on a scale like this would be a nightmare even for them with all their power, even with all of their subjects being loyal. Not to mention what it would take to conquer them in the first place. There had to be a driving reason behind it beyond power lust.

I’ve seen a theory floating around that thinks it’s because the Gems are at war with another, more powerful race. But I don’t think that’s why, Peridot just told us why; her lack of skill, the resources problem;

 The kinds of gems they can make depends on the planet, what it’s made of and how much of it there is!

Out of every planet they own within their empire, I’d bet my Nintendo collection Homeworld is the planet not only with the most resources, but with the most varied kinds of resources! And that’s why Era 2 Peridots are weaker, smaller and have a harder time using abilities and skills their era 1 counterparts would have been able to use easily.

They conquer so many planets so they can make all sorts of gems! This may even explain why certain gems are common af and some are rare! 

Let’s say they only had one or two planets that could produce Sapphires. I’d be resistant to making too many of them at once too, since gem production destroys planets–and less resources means Gems with less prowess over their powers… 

Peridot having a hard time with metalbending is one thing but ehh.. wouldn’t want a Sapphire with faulty Future Vision. Imagine how disastrous that would be. All it took to throw our Sapphire off was a sweet non-conforming Ruby.

And here’s an even bigger bombshell; who’s to say the homeworld Peridot is talking about isn’t the original one?  Maybe Gemkind has had to replace their Homeworld many times. They live forever presumably or until they’re shattered, and even then. I can easily see how one planet alone wouldn’t be nearly enough to keep up with demand.  Blue and Yellow Diamond must have been made somewhere too, anyway.

So that explains the planet-hogging, lets get back down to Earth. Remember the giant halos behind White and Pink Diamond? Yeah, how does any of this relate to those, you ask? Once again, Peri, if you please:

“Resources unique to this world” There it is. Unique enough to make tons of different kinds of gems? Maybe even unique enough to turn the Earth into a New Homeworld?

Yeah, see that sounds like a stretch until I went back and found this.

That’s an Atom. The building block on which all matter is made! Like the matter that makes up the resources they need to produce a full range of gems!! I think Earth Colony wasn’t just a colony. It was going to be a New Homeworld. There are no coincidences in Steven Universe.

We know Blue Diamond was on Earth to fight the rebellion, but maybe she was the original antagonist they had to fight. If Pink Diamond was newly formed when the rebellion started, she’d need someone to guide her. Gems pop out of the ground knowing their place and purpose sure, but this is a Diamond. I have a hard time believing they’d just send a quartz soldier to lead the expedition.

Speaking of the rebellion, that’s another thing. If those planets on the murals are anything to go by, Homeworld has tons of colonies. If the Earth was only going to be a colony, then… here, look at this for a sec.

All of that. For one colony?? Just a colony? Really? No way. This planet was more important to them than that. Either that or the Diamonds are ridiculously psycho.

Finally, lets not forget, a Diamond was made here. That has to hold some significance as they obviously don’t make a new Diamond on every colony they get. Look at Pink Diamond’s pose. The other Diamonds look powerful and in control, she’s bursting from the ground reaching for the Earth, as if she and this planet were some great hope for them.

In Conclusion

That’s why Pink Diamond has the same halo as White Diamond, that’s why they fought so long and hard for the Earth and Pink Diamond; Maybe she was going to be the ruler of a New Homeworld, and our solar system would have become her line of conquered planets. 

Now think of Jasper’s unrelenting self-hatred for failing to protect her Diamond, the Cluster, the fused gem experiments and Yellow Diamond’s utter contempt and hate for the Earth. Yikes. Homeworld is fucked up.


6

“It’s all action-adventure. And all of us get along really well. I had this experience when I was just looking around at [the cast]. They’re all dressed up and I’m just staring at all of the characters. And there’s really no one else that’s supposed to play those people except for them. Like Gal [Gadot] is supposed to play Wonder Woman, Ben Affleck’s the perfect Batman, Henry [Cavill], there’ll never be another Superman. You’re like, shit, you’re sure as hell fucking Superman. Ezra [Miller] is perfect for The Flash. Ray [Fisher], I mean, we’re all the ones. And that’s a really cool feeling. And just to be able to get along and to have your personalities match the way they’re supposed to for the roles, it’s great, and really supportive. We’re a pretty lovey set. And lots of laughs, we like laughing a lot.”

- Jason Momoa talking about the Justice League cast

things i want from supergirl

give me the first time kara is patrolling the skies and she hears maggie’s heartbeat skyrocket. and look, we all know kara’s probably stumbled in on maggie and alex at least once, so kara knows what /that/heartbeat sounds like.

this isn’t that.

this is faster and different and kara as supergirl is worried so she heads that way,

fast.

and maybe it turns out to be nothing, but chances are, it’s not. chances are it’s detective sawyer hauling a little kid behind her, a little boy with a fat lip and a black eye and an arm kara can see that is broken without her x-ray vision. and maybe it’s maggie with her hand protectively on the shoulder of the little boy, keeping him firmly behind her and maybe the other has her gun leveled at the gun leveled at her.

and this was only supposed to be a statement collection maggie will tell kara later - that’s why there was no back up.

but kara worries that she won’t get there fast enough because maggie has a terrified kid in one hand, a gun in the other and her eyes leveled at a man who is threatening to kill her. and kara, well she shows up just in time.

she shows up through a window, skidding through an open door because she used her super hearing and she heard, she /heard/ the way the mans muscles were tensing in his hand. she heard the slightest shift of the loaded gun and kara knew.

so she dove and rolled and skidded and is standing, wobbling, catching a bullet with her fingertips. she’s catching it and clutching it and turning to the man who fired it because

maggie sawyer isn’t allowed to die.

[maggie doesn’t know that yet, but kara will tell her]

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Did You Just... ?

Originally posted by poptartcalum

Imagine: Tom can’t get over how you pronounce the word ‘croissant’. 

A/N: I’m supposed to be packing for a music festival but i just love me some good quacksons !!!! :~) I h9 myself for this ENJOY!! PS i love this gif a lot thank Q ALSO SORRY IF ITS A BIT SHIT

Word Count: idk it’s short (maybs 800??)

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So Cisco OBVIOUSLY has a social media set up for heroes to share posts with each other I mean: 

  • It starts out with just the Star Labs group but honestly they all work together and that’s no fun so he adds the Arrow crew on.
    • Then they get to the Legends and then Cisco figures out how to make the program accessible to other Earths, so Kara and Co have accounts set up as well. 
      • Barry oddly is in a group chat with himself and two other Barrys????? 
    • See if they have Len and Mick in there now, they have to have Lisa in on the network as well. 
      • “Cisco, you let Golden Glider add us?” “She was very…persuasive!” (She sent him a kissy emoji.) 
  • And then, if you have three Rogues on there, you have to have all the Rogues on the network. 
    • Hartley is a little offended that he wasn’t on there already (it’s because when he’s not sharing current events news stories with the caption “makes me wish I was a villain again” he’s posting 3-year-old memes). 
    • Livewire hacks in and probably inserts herself into every account for a day before Winn and Cisco kick her off. 
    • So now they have a bunch of criminals on their superhero version of Facebook and somehow no one cares. 
  • Thea has somehow linked up with Lisa Snart and now the two PM each other talking about how annoying the heroes can be and they’re thinking of video chatting each other?? bc why not. 
  • Kara keeps geotagging her location and everyone else screams because KARA NO STOP DOING THAT
    • Her entire account is selfies with little kids dressed as Supergirl though and no one can bear to attack in her location. 
      • She’ll also find kids dressed up as villains and tag the respective criminal in the post (Cold was surprised there were kids dressed up as him but also very pleased). 
  • Shawna probably posts pictures of herself with whatever she’s stolen for the day. 
    • She posts a picture with 5 things from the Central City Museum and captions it as “@flash what’s good bitch” 
  • The Legends team is the biggest group of losers and they’ll be the ones sending push notifications to everyone else for random games 24/7. 
    • “WHO IS NATE HEYWOOD AND WHY IS HE SENDING ME REQUESTS TO JOIN DRAGON CITY.” 
    • Amaya connects with Mari online and lemme tell you, getting lives from your dead grandmother on Candy Crush is the weirdest experience Mari has ever had. 
    • Since they totally have phones that work all throughout time and space the team also has a bunch of games downloaded from like, 2060 so their push notifications just glitch up the whole system.
  • Honestly most of the Rogues probably do this??? Lisa posts a picture of herself with a bracelet and tags the entire Flash team and makes her status “really love my bracelet. The price was a STEAL!” 
    • Barry: “It’s a nice bracelet Lisa!” 
    • Barry: “Wait. Lisa what do you mean by STEAL????” 
    • Lisa: ;) 
    • Barry: “LISA “ 
  • Pictures are a mess. They’re supposed to have their costumes on but no one ever pays attention to that rule. 
    • Jax definitely has a selfie of the team grinning in front of a captured Legion of Doom. He tags everyone in it. Including the aforementioned villains. 
    • Ray posts his 5 billion selfies of himself on the moon. 
      • Barry: Wait is that Thawne in the background. 
      • Ray: Barry I’m on the moon can you focus on the important part here? 
      • Oliver: Should you really be posting your face, Ray? 
      • Ray: I’m legally dead, Oliver. 
4

“All Grown Up!”
Collab with @TheRaikume (from Twitter)


 A little adventure in character design for this week’s newest squiggle art as part of an awesome collab with @TheRaikume from Twitter. Drawing adult versions of our Miraculous heroes. Rai will be drawing Chloe and Marinette while I handled Alya and Adrien; my two favs. Yes!

We were originally supposed to draw them in casual wear but little ole me got swept away in this cool headcanon of mine. Now we all know from the series that Alya plans on becoming a reporter when she grows up. But the interesting thing is we don’t know what Adrien plans to do with his life once he’s older. Right now he’s so focused on keeping dear ole dad happy by being a model that I don’t think he’s ever considered what he really wants to do once he’s become an adult (I mean besides become Ladybug’s one and only devoted lover of course).

That being said, good thing for headcanons and fan theories right? My idea is that Adrien turns to a life of sleuthing and becomes a criminal investigator when he gets older. I found it really interesting that he was more eager to assume the call for heroism than Marinette so this makes me think that maybe all those years of being Chat Noir and defending Paris alongside Ladybug and all the other Miraculous heroes would ultimately inspire Adrien to become a crime fighter in his civilian life as well hence the criminal investigator title.

I also have this idea of Adrien and Alya teaming up from time to time and helping each other out with their individual careers. Of course by this time, they’re also happily married to their respective partners: Adrien ending up with Marinette (naturally of course) and Alya with Nino. It wouldn’t be a perfect grown up Miraculous heroes headcanon without it, am I right folks? ;)

Overall I had fun designing the looks for grown up Adrien and Alya. While Alya’s design is my favourite of the two (again, naturally of course), I must say that I’m most proud of Adrien’s design. I based his facial features off a another fan theory I shared last year where Adrien will look a lot more like his dad Gabriel as he matured; ultimately inheriting his nice high cheek bones.

Alrighty! My half of the collab is officially complete. As I mentioned before, @TheRaikume will be working on her designs for Adult Chloe and Marinette. Definitely looking forward to seeing those once they’re complete. As always, I hope everyone will enjoy this week’s newest Miraculous squiggle art.
Also as today is May 14th, wishing everyone a happy Mother’s Day. Hope you all had a miraculous Sunday spent with your families and giving praise to one of the most special ladies in your lives: mommy dearest.

Till my next awesometastic squiggle art, as always staaay tune for more precious star kids! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

♥ More Miraculous Art by Squiggles

~LittleMissSquiggles (2017)

3

Memento Mori:

Remember that you are mortal,                                                                   Remember you will die

anonymous asked:

Hey I know your probably super busy but I just wanted to ask if you could make a super short story on tumblr of you meeting stretch cause i really ship you guys i was just wondering what would happen if you ended up meeting each other. Your amazing Senpai!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to tell you that.

*A chance to self-insert myself with Stretch and incorporate my x-ray headcanons that no one asked for in one go?  You know I’m all over this!  
Also, thank you, my sweet anon-kohai!  <333  The fact that you ship me with him enough to want to read this makes me happy.  You’re a sweetheart.

*Oh man, lemme lay some first person on you guys.  I’ve been writing in second for so long that this felt all kinds of wrong.  


As I walked through the ER, I glanced down at the order in my hand, wondering what I was about to walk into.  The registration was woefully incomplete, with only a placeholder “John Doe” name and a generic birthday, so I wasn’t sure what sort of patient to expect.  Usually, those sorts of placeholders were used if the patient was incapacitated or in some sort of traumatic accident–yet the doctor had only ordered an x-ray of the forearm, instead of the usual chest and pelvis films.

It was probably a drunk without an ID that slipped and fell.  Wouldn’t that just be my luck?

Either way, from the cast cart situated outside the room, it seemed like they had already fixed the fracture without getting x-rays beforehand.  That’s weird, but I shrugged it off.  They probably had films done at another hospital.

I knocked on the door to announce my presence, and then swung it open, my usual speech already on my tongue.

“Hey there, I’m Ty–”

The sight inside the room caused me to trail off, my professionalism wavering.  There were two people inside, one seated on the edge of the stretcher with his sleeve rolled up and a bright blue cast on his arm–obviously my patient–and another clinging to the man’s opposite arm and wailing.

“I’M S-SO SORRY!  IT’S ALL MY F-FAULT!  WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO PAPY NOW?!”  the crying man asked, his grip tightening protectively on my patient’s–Papy’s?–arm.  

I was so thrown off that I completely blanked for a moment.

These two men were skeleton monsters.  

Monsters had separate hospitals–healers, magic, and all of that fun stuff–so, any that were mistakenly brought to ours were immediately transferred out.  We simply didn’t have the means to treat them.  I’ve never had one as a patient, and they haven’t exactly been welcomed with open arms into my city, either.  I’ve seen a few here and there, but never…

Never skeletons.

“Sorry,” I blurted, brushing the hair back from my face in a nervous gesture.  I dropped my gaze to the order clasped in my hand, as if I could glean some sort of new insight, but really–I just wanted to try not to stare.  

And boy was that difficult.

“I’m from X-ray.  I’m just going to get a couple of pictures of that arm,” I explained, while the distraught man sniffled.

“PICTURES?”  His brow furrowed.  "WHAT’S X-RAY?“

“Pictures of, ah… bones,” I replied, noticing the way my patient’s grin suddenly widened.  From the look on his face, I could tell he was amused.  

“considering i’m a skeleton, i’d say i’m pretty photogenic,” he claimed, which made me relax.  Oh geez, at least we’re addressing the elephant in the room.  

“They just want to make sure the bones look all right inside the cast,” I mentioned with a smile, since the other man still looks so baffled.  I could only assume that’s why they would order the x-ray of a skeleton monster.  

“IT’S NOT GOING TO HURT??”

“Nope, won’t feel a thing.”  I turned my attention back to my patient and opened the door wider.  "We’ll just go down the hall, Mister… Papy?“

"papyrus,” my patient corrected, standing from the bed.  He chuckled and shrugged slightly.  "you can call me stretch, hun.“

There’s something about his lazy smirk that made me blush, and oh man, he’s a skeleton, and I needed to get it together.  

"I’M COMING, TOO!” the other skeleton insisted, standing as well, but Papyrus stopped him with a gentle hand to his chest.  

“nah, bro, you can stay here.  it’ll only take a minute.”  

“BUT–!”  

“just relax and watch some tv, ok?”

He looked as if he wanted to protest further, but as soon as his eye(lights?) shifted to the cast on Papyrus’s arm, he deflated and nodded.  

“hey.”  Papyrus set his good hand on the other’s shoulder, his expression gentle.  "i’m ok.“

"ALL RIGHT.  I’LL SEE IF I CAN HURRY UP YOUR RELEASE FROM THE HOSPITAL WHILE YOU GO TAKE PICTURES TOGETHER!”

I didn’t correct him, instead marveling over the gentleness Papyrus showed him.  The other skeleton still seemed distraught, his cheeks a strange shade of blue–just like the tears prickling the corner of his eyesockets–but he managed to smile brightly.  

When we stepped into the hall, Papyrus closed the door behind us.  

“sorry ‘bout that.  that’s my bro, sans.  he’s never seen me hurt before.”

I lead the way, though couldn’t help trying to sneak glances of Papyrus’s bones.  Most of them seemed to be covered by his oversized orange hoodie, but he was wearing shorts, and from what I could glimpse of his knee and tib/fib, the anatomy looked strikingly similar to a human.  

“It’s no problem.  It’s sweet of him to worry about you.  What happened to your arm?”

“i’d rather not cast blame.”  He winked, lifting his cast slightly, and I realized he just made a pun.  Gentle, charming, and funny?  He’s hit all my weak spots.  "it’s nothing i’m too broken up about.“

I grinned like an idiot.  I even slowed my pace from what my friends call my ‘hospital speed’ to meander beside him.  He’s easy-going, in no hurry, and even with his slouched posture, he’s much taller than I am.  

"You’ve never broken a bone before?”

He shook his head.  "first time for everything.  have you?  i heard human bones can break pretty easily.“

"No broken bones here.  Are monster bones stronger than human ones?”

He shrugged.  "dunno.  a lot of monsters don’t have bones, but probably.  never seen a monster break anything.“

"Really?”  I couldn’t keep the surprise from my voice–and slight disappointment.  X-raying monsters and seeing how different their anatomy is would be so interesting!  I opened up the door to the x-ray room, twisting to face him while he follows me inside.  

He grinned wider.  "yep.  hate to break it to ya, hun, but this may be your only chance to x-ray a monster.“

"Well, I do have to admit, out of all the monsters out there, the fact that I’m x-raying you is kind of hilarious.”

“almost as if you already have x-ray vision, huh?”  

“Pretty much, yeah.  Have a seat here… Stretch.”  He’s charming enough that I tried out the nickname he gave me, only for Papyrus to hold my gaze the entire time he moves to sit down.  There’s something about his grin that made me feel a little nervous, and I hoped my face didn’t look as red as I thought it did.  It certainly was hot all of a sudden.  

On the end of the table, there was a digital detector already set up, the x-ray tube positioned over it.  Papyrus rolled up the sleeve of his uninjured arm, exposing the bones of his radius and ulna–and I couldn’t help but stare.  The anatomy looked just like a human arm, although his carpal bones were more solidified.  

He had me a little confused, so I pulled the order sheet out of my pocket to check which arm was ordered–but he only looked amused.  "so, is it broken?“  He held up his uninjured arm, quirking a bony brow.  How was  he even able to move his brow ridge, anyway?  His skull doesn’t even have any sutures along the top; it’s all just smooth bone.

Oh god, I’m staring again.

"Legally, I can’t tell you.  I just take x-rays; I don’t read 'em.”  I shrug, reaching over him to grab onto his casted arm and slide it into the center of the detector.  

He chuckled.  "honey, it isn’t an x-ray.  it’s my arm.“

I definitely started blushing now.  Shit, from the way his lazy grin curved up around the edges, his eyelights twinkling with mirth, it must be one of those obvious, fierce blushes.  

Can skeletons blush?  

Now isn’t the time to find out, c'mon.

"Also not a doctor,” I insisted, trying to concentrate, but… dammit, it was hard when he kept looking at me with that grin.  His voice was low and smooth, and I found myself wanting to hear more puns.  

I positioned his casted arm and then fixed the collimator light on the tube to encompass all of his forearm.  He watched intently, flexing his phalanges outside the cast.  I don’t even really need to touch his hand to get him in the right position, but… I’m curious.  So, I reached out and touched his fingers under the guise of straightening his arm.  His bones were smooth and warm.

“ever touched bones before?” he inquired, and I felt as if he were trying to fluster me–to call me out for my curiosity.  Instead, I just smiled and met his gaze with a shrug.

“A couple of times, actually.”

His smirk faded, and he gave me an incredulous look.  "seriously?“

"You’d be surprised.”  With him flustering me, I start to walk back to the console behind the wall to shoot the x-ray, but then I notice the lead shield is still on the table.  "Whoops.  Hang on, lemme lay this in your lap.“

He leans back a little, keeping his arm in place as I lay the heavy lead across his pelvis.  "what’s this for?”

“Protection.  It keeps the x-rays off you.”  I gave him the vague speech I give the curious kids without a second thought.  However, Papyrus doesn’t buy it.  

“why’s it only across my legs then?”

Eh, he’s an adult; I can go into more detail.  "It protects your reprodu–… ah…“  I trailed off awkwardly when I realize again that he’s a skeleton.  

Does he even have…?

Papyrus’s grin turned absolutely shit-eating.  "my…?”

So much blood rushed to my face at once that I felt light-headed and absolutely mortified.  Why did I have to be so awkward?  "Your reproductive organs,“ I stated, trying to regain any sort of professionalism despite the fact that I’m burning right now.  "The radiation we use is minimal, but it’s still for the best to always be protected.”

I can’t meet his gaze anymore.

“yep, guess there are some bones that need protection.”

Does that mean he does have..?

Hoo boy.  I nodded, humming my assent as I turned around and went to the console.  By now, a few other techs have started peeking around and making loud, surprised noises over the fact that my patient’s a skeleton.  I swung an arm back at them in an effort to make them shut up, and when I glanced through the window to the exam room, Papyrus is waving at them with his good arm.  

“Don’t move, all right?”

“sorry.  that spiel about protection was just so moving i couldn’t help it.”

Someone help me; I can’t stop laughing.  

I took the x-ray and waited for the image to pop up on the screen.  I’ve gotta admit, I was curious to see how badly he broke his arm, as well as how the ortho doc fixed it.  Would the bones really stay together inside the cast, or did they plate it with some wire and then cast it so the bones wouldn’t shift?   Will his bones heal at the same rate as a humans, or does magic speed up the process? 

The image that pops up on the screen was unreadable.

It was bright white and blurry, as if his arm had been moving, with faint grays where the cast outlined his arm.  I stared at it for a moment, while my other coworkers moved to try to peek around my shoulder.  

“how’s it look?  break it to me gently.”

“Uhhh…”  If it’s white, that means the x-rays didn’t go through it, and I didn’t see him move his arm.  "Lemme try the next view.“  I walked around the wall and hold my arm out straight to simulate the positioning.  "Gimme a karate chop.”

Papyrus complied, though he seemed skeptical.  "did the first picture take?“

"You might not be as photogenic as you thought,” I responded with a shrug, which brought his grin back.  I reached out and grabbed his hand, rolling his thumb back slightly in an effort to get his bones directly on top of one another.  As soon as I let go, Papyrus rolled his hand back in.  

I grabbed his hand and rolled it back again.  "Keep it like this,“ I instructed, and his fingers lightly curled around my thumb.  

"if you say so, hun,” he replied in that smooth, low voice, and I reluctantly pulled my hand away.  That look clearly stated that I’m blushing again, that he was aware of what he was doing.

I headed back to the console and took the second x-ray, bumping up the settings in an effort to penetrate his bone.  Just like the first, it turned out bright white and blurry.  "It can’t be a mechanical issue because my marker showed up…“ I murmured both to myself and my nosy coworkers, pointing at the R beside his cast, denoting which arm it is.  Papyrus seemed concerned by the way I was staring at his films, so he scoots the chair back and stands, setting the lead shield on the edge of the table.  

"is it ok if i come back there?”  I nodded, and Papyrus turned the corner to look at the x-rays.  He stared at them for a moment, before shrugging, seemingly unperturbed.  "welp i ulna see a white blob.“

"Looks like your bone is different than a human’s,” I responded, feeling a little disappointed.  Maybe it has to do with his magic?  Magic might not be able to be penetrated by radiation.  Or maybe his bones are just comprised of something radiopaque–it could be a number of things.  

“ah well, it’ll be ok.  monsters heal fast.  i just came because my bro insisted, anyway,” Papyrus remarked with a shrug.   He’s definitely one of the most chill people I’ve ever met, I’ll give him that.  

“Well, that’s all I can do.  Lemme walk ya back to your room.”  

I lead him back into the hall, and even though the x-rays didn’t work out… I felt reluctant to take him back.  Maybe it was because he was the first monster I’ve actually spoken to for this long, and that’s interesting.  Or maybe it’s because his bones are fascinating.  

Or maybe it’s because he’s funny and seems kind toward his brother, and my stomach actually twisted when he looked me in the eye and grinned.

“so… what time do you get off work?”

I faltered in my steps and nearly tripped.  Is he asking what I think he’s asking?

Unfortunately, I work late.  

“Midnight,” I replied with a wry smile.

Papyrus hummed, slowing his steps.  "do you like pancakes or donuts?“

"Love 'em both.”  My heart’s racing.  

“welp, i know a place that stays open 24/7.  muffet’s.”  Papyrus reached into his hoodie’s pocket and handed me a wrinkled card.

                                                   stretch
                                                   sentry
                                                 odd jobs

A phone number was listed below.  

“text me if ya wanna grab a bite to eat.  trust me, you donut want to miss the food.”  He winked, and I found myself thinking that I really didn’t want to miss out on the company, either.

“I might take you up on that.  For the food, of course.”

“hmm… i think i might be able to take x-rays now.”

“Why do you say that?”

Papyrus grinned, leaning in close to me as we approached his room.  With his mouth directly beside my ear, he murmured, “because i can see through you.”


Steven Universe Theory: White Diamond Is The Enemy

SPOILER ALERT: THIS THEORY CONTAINS SO MANY SPOILERS. You have been warned!

As of January 6th, 2017, we have been officially introduced to three diamonds: Yellow, Blue and Pink. But what about White?

Personally, the most interesting theorizing for me has been originating from the Pyramid Temple, and here’s why.

First of all I want to point out something that no one has before: The Pyramid Temple is the first place we see the Diamond Authority symbol. That’s right. The new symbol. The symbol made after the shattering of Pink Diamond. The symbol that everyone believed made its debut in ‘Jail Break,’ was completely visible in season one, episode eight. Don’t believe me?

The symbol is first seen to the far left as the gems are entering the temple. It is surrounded by what looks to be a sun, and rays of light. Seem familiar? A certain light with a song of some sort? That’s right. The corruption song, revealed to us in both Lapis’ backstory and Centi’s drawings.

The second time the symbol is more clearly visible, after Steven has ‘touched the magical thing he is definitely always never supposed to’ and the gems land in the center of the temple.

(Do I have your attention yet?) What this means is that this temple was created after the war…at least, after the shattering of Pink Diamond, and the re-creation of the Diamond Authority symbol. What exactly is the purpose of this temple? I’ll get to that in another theory.

I will be referencing SliceofOtaku’s ‘Source of Corruption’ theory…so feel free to go check it out!

After the gems enter the temple, before Steven messes with the magical thing, we are introduced to another mural, one that has been used in many theories thus far.

The mural introduces us to four main beings, three being what is assumed to be diamonds, and the last, Rose Quartz. Just barely out of sight, we can see the sun and the moon on opposite ends of the mural, so we can assume that the mural is meant to be read, or translated in a counterclockwise manner. We are also introduced to an unbelievable amount of hands, and small black figures that we assume represent humans, or crystal gems. Again, we’ll get back to a lot more information on this mural in another theory. The main focus is the center mural, the one with Rose Quartz.

Many have speculated that this mural is depicting Rose Quartz fighting against a Diamond. Others have speculated that this is Lapis Lazuli because of the wave like structure beneath her, but that theory has essentially been proven wrong, and it is safe to say that this is in fact a Diamond. But which Diamond?

Many theorized that this was Yellow Diamond or Blue Diamond, because of the triangular symbol on her chest. Others have speculated that this is just a universal symbol of a Diamond, and it could be Pink Diamond, and that this mural was the depiction of the last battle between Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz. I think differently.

White Diamond is and has always been the top of the Diamonds. This is shown by her symbol constantly being at the top of the Diamond Authority symbol, and her mural on the Moon Base shows that she has the most colonized planets and moons by far. Some would argue that she is the ‘oldest’ of the Diamonds. Regardless, she is definitely at the top of her game, even though we have little proof to show it.

When Yellow Diamond was first introduced, fans were in awe. I myself thought that she was just an epiphany of beauty, authority, and everything that a personified diamond would be. She was Yellow Diamond.

When the world was introduced to Blue Diamond, we were given a different aspect of the Diamonds entirely. Diamonds had feelings. Diamonds could be distraught. Diamonds could be vulnerable. Diamonds were capable of the same earth-shattering, depressing emotions that we humans are.

Later on in “That Will Be All” we see that even Yellow Diamond is troubled by the loss of Pink. Even though the two Diamonds are handling the situation very differently, the two still feel the loss of a close figure, some might even say a sister or a lover. Yellow attempts to console her fellow Diamond and encourages her to get back up and be the leader that she needs to be. Yellow has obviously continued her responsibilities as a Diamond, but Blue just hasn’t. Instead, she’s focused on keeping Pink’s legacy alive, and it has made her a shell of what she used to be. Yellow is obviously trying to pull her fellow Diamond from this pit of despair, and return her to her authoritative figure. But where is White Diamond? Surely the head of the Diamond Authority wouldn’t want a fellow Diamond wallowing in despair forever. Wouldn’t she?

Even though Yellow is trying to encourage Blue to stop mourning over the loss of Pink, she’s still there. She’s still concerned about her fellow Diamond. She’s present, and accounting for all of Blue’s latest activity. White Diamond is essentially nonexistent, but she’s not shattered.

We can tell that White Diamond is not shattered/bubbled/missing because:
- She is still present in the Diamond Authority symbol.
- She is not mentioned as a bubbled or shattered gem.
- She is not being mourned over like Pink.
- There are no gems that we have seen bubbled that resemble a Diamond.

Of course, this is only a theory, and it is entirely possible that White Diamond is shattered/bubbled/missing, but I feel that it’s highly unlikely. I mean with that many colonies to run at once, (and certainly more since the war) I think anyone would qualify as ‘missing.’

So what does any of this have to do with White Diamond being the enemy? I’ll tell you. White Diamond shattered Pink Diamond.

That’s preposterous! Why? How? Where?

Rose Quartz shattered Pink Diamond! It’s fact!

No. It’s not. Just like media, it’s what they want you to believe. But who’s they? The higher-ups. The leaders. White Diamond.

Rose’s sword was made to destroy a gem’s body, never the gem. Rose would never shatter someone, as stated by Steven, and I think I stand by that. Of course everyone says that she had to do what she had to, and that it was true, but I just don’t buy it. I think Rose ‘poofed’ Pink Diamond, but nothing more.

Let’s go back to the mural.

Here we can see Rose battling a Diamond. But what is that in front of her? A diamond. A pink diamond. Could this be the actual Pink Diamond? Yes!

It has been made clear that White Diamond is the leader of the Diamond Authority. She wouldn’t care about a small rebellion. Not near enough to come to earth. So what would make her come to earth? Pink Diamond. The well-being of a fellow Diamond. As soon as Pink Diamond is ‘poofed’ or shattered, things get super real for the Diamonds. The rebellion isn’t a game anymore. One of their own is in danger, and that’s enough for White Diamond to put an end to it all.

Rose Quartz proved that this rebellion wasn’t something that could be handled with a snap of their fingers. The Beta Kindergarten was proof of that. As stated by Peridot, the Beta Kindergarten was Homeworld’s scrambled attempt to generate extra soldiers on the ground, mid-way through the rebellion. This wasn’t Homeworld’s attempt. This was Pink Diamond’s attempt. Jasper further reiterates this fact by her emotional speech about her purpose being to fight from the very beginning, because of what Rose Quartz did to her colony, her planet and her Diamond.

Rose Quartz has always been presented to us as a lovely, beautiful being. I personally can’t imagine her harming another gem, not to mention the being that created her. I think Rose Quartz ‘poofed’ Pink Diamond, holding her hostage, and was using her as a means of negotiating with Homeworld and the rest of the Diamond Authority. This is when White Diamond joins the war.

White Diamond finally travels to earth, and brings reinforcements with her. In a final attempt at ending the rebellion, and the gem colonization of earth, Rose Quartz negotiates with White Diamond alone.

It is common knowledge in the real world, that only diamonds can cut diamonds.

Depicted in one of the first murals ever given to us, White Diamond delivers a shattering blow meant for Rose Quartz, but instead strikes the bubbled and defenseless, Pink Diamond, and shatters her gem for good. Infuriated, distraught, and bent on revenge, White Diamond blames Rose Quartz for the death of her fellow Diamond, and who would deny it? The very leader of the Homeworld gems and the Great Diamond Authority.

At an unknown time period afterwards, Homeworld gems are called to retreat, and the three remaining Diamonds join together to create the corruption song. Sadly, many gems are unable to escape, left on earth as corrupted gems, mere shells of what they used to be. Thus, ending the rebellion and the colonization of earth. White Diamond returns to her duties as a Diamond, while Blue and Yellow mourn for their fellow Diamond.

Of course, gem activity does not come to an immediate halt after the rebellion, the Pyramid Temple and the Cluster being examples of that, but we’ll try to figure that out in another theory.

As for White Diamond’s involvement in future episodes of the show, I feel that she will be the last villain Steven and the Crystal Gems face. The show revolves around empathy, and I feel that both Blue and Yellow will be able to be won over by Steven’s compassionate nature, or at least they will think twice about what actually happened in the rebellion. Perhaps in some sort of argument within the council itself, White Diamond would angrily admit that she was the one that shattered Pink Diamond, or in a battle between the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds, they discover Diamonds can’t be shattered by normal gems, and the Diamond’s whole worlds would be changed forever. Homeworld gems would be changed forever. All because of the one Diamond above them all.

White Diamond.

I hope you guys enjoyed my theory on White Diamond and I’ll be working on other theories soon!

Scandalous (M) | 06

PARTS: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

Summary: When you meet Taehyung in a bar one night, you don’t expect to fall for him. He was different, tattoos inked along his arms and a bright smile on his face. He was the opposite of everything you were; he was free – or so you thought.

Genre/Warnings: Socialite!AU, Badboy!Taehyung; this time around it’s about 99.9% angst with a whopping 1% fluff.

Words: 10.8k.

A/N: Surprise. ;)

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