this is story

“If one day… you have someone that you like please tell me. Alright?”

(I don’t like putting signatures so, PLEASE, if you want to post this gif somewhere GIVE CREDITS! Also, don’t use it in videos/amvs. Thanks~)

they’re hanging out n keeping warm while their armour plates get fixed up

(what they don’t know is their armour was fixed hours ago, they just kept talking and lost track of time :3c)

And as much as I hate to say it, I just realized that as I grew older, I already accepted that some people will not always be there for me every time I need them. That no matter how wide I opened my door, they would never come in. That no matter how loud I shouted their names, they wouldn’t turn around and face me. I already accepted the fact that they also have their own problems—to solve. That sometimes they need to save themselves first. It wasn’t being a bad friend nor a selfish one. But it was just us human beings wanting and searching for a mean to survive. And yes, I understand, even if it broke my heart not only once but too many times.
—  ma.c.a // Cold feet, warm heart
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yorkshire.fossils This is another look at one of our favourite ammonites, prior to the outer matrix being polished, for those who haven’t seen it. These ‘Cannon ball’ nodules (rocks) are thought to be exclusive to the Yorkshire Coast, found nowhere else in the world. They rarely contain fossils, but when they do, they typically contain an Eleganticeras sp. ammonite. This fossil here is featured as found. Some of the outer chambers were broken open when we cracked open this rock, which allowed a rich smell of bituminous oil to be released.

i don’t know why
i’m still waiting 
for you to come home
when you’ve already
found a new home 
between her legs
—  replaced - a.l.m
I found it funny and terrible. And yeah, heartbreaking.” she laughed bitterly. “How can I keep on saying yes, even if I wanted to say no. How I keep on believing in so many lies even if all I wanted was to know every little bit of the truth. Maybe because I know it would hurt me so bad. To see things far from what I wanted them to be. To hear the words that would bring me back to every pain I’m always avoiding—to feel. It hurts like hell. And I am so tired of pretending that it was okay.” she looked down and finally said, “And if I continue this, it would just tear me in the end. I just realized that I deserve to say no.” she sighed showing that she’s exhausted, then she softly said, “And this time, I’ll choose to say no.
—  ma.c.a // Silently Breaking
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That was rather impressive

Because you
made me feel
like an avalanche
refusing to land,
and I’m not sure
if I’m gonna love
or hate you
for that.
—  ma.c.a // Do I still have the right to get mad?
Got asked to "step down" from a position.

Years ago, I taught Sunday school on a voluntary basis at a megachurch in my town. There were so many children in this church that classrooms were made available to group children with Sunday school teachers for every year of their life until middle school and high school, at which point they attended a larger group with similarly aged peers in separate wings of the building. I taught two-year-olds, and loved every moment of it.

My classroom boasted a huge number of children, at about 20-25 per service. I was supposed to have an adult co-teacher, but all the other adult volunteers were sent to other classrooms with a “higher need”. I had two high-school-aged volunteers, best friends, who often spent service time playing together, despite repeated approaches to asking them to play with the children (one of my volunteers was the director’s son, who I couldn’t replace because of his mother, and who clearly did not want to be volunteering).

Despite this, and despite inheriting a huge classroom full of several special needs children, my children played calmly throughout service, and enjoyed a routine and simple rules I set to run the classroom efficiently. Children arrived, played calmly, sang songs, ate snack, and went home.

Even in the face of this obvious evidence that my classroom was running efficiently, I was repeatedly asked by church leaders to adopt certain mannerisms around children I found inauthentic and frankly patronizing. I don’t and won’t speak in a high-pitched voice to anyone, child or adult. I don’t and won’t use words like “upsie daisy”. These requests were persistent. It was the opinion of the church that I was not “warm and welcoming” enough. It was modeled again and again that the church would prefer I was overanimated in a HUGE SMILE HUG “I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HERE” kind of greeting.

One summer day we were all called (some 50+ room leaders and volunteers) into a mandatory meeting. You know those meetings where you instantly know they’re talking about you? The policies on words like “upsie daisy” were now set in writing, and I was shortly asked to step down for not using these phrases. I was not allowed to prepare my children for the transition to a new Sunday teacher. I was immediately replaced (by a friend, actually) and was fairly crushed about the sudden break from little people I liked spending time with. And furthermore, it made me question my abilities to work with children, an endeavor I had already devoted my life to.

Unbeknownst to my church, I had long been working at a career in early childhood intervention, teaching a classroom full of two-year-old child victims of trauma and abuse with a heavy case load of special needs children. My coworker called me over one Monday, as I was the twos teacher, asking what I made of this email she had just received concerning a church with an out-of-control twos room requesting that someone come consult with their new staff and help implement some new classroom techniques to “manage difficult behaviors”.

Naturally, I agreed to do the consult in person as soon as possible, and asked my coworker to let them know I would meet with them on a completely voluntary basis at their next Sunday service.

It was absolutely my pleasure to greet my church leaders and friend as their specialist consultant, to their confused surprise.

I walked them through all sorts of interventions and strategies I had previously used to create a calm classroom environment and strongly advised against the use of overly excited greetings and phrases like “upsie daisy” in place of direct redirective requests (e.g. “Please put your feet back on the floor.”) It was my strong written recommendation that the written policies on these strategies be amended and for staff to be immediately retrained in accordance with actual therapeutic practices.

It was my last time stepping foot in that church, and will forever remain my most deliciously cherished memories of vindication.

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Clouds rolling over Mount Tamalpais State Park, California

nicholassteinbergphotography“Cotton candy Waves”

Here’s a time lapse from my shot Cotton Candy Waves. As opposed to a long exposure, this was shot with successive shorter exposures to show movement and texture. Love how mesmerizing the fog is.

why sing one part of a broadway song mediocrely when you can try to sing six parts at the same time and sound like a dying walrus??