this is still pretty terrible but i think i am getting better

a sterek fic inspired by this stupid thing because how could I not

It’s a common saying among Stiles’ friends that he doesn’t have a lot of dignity. To be perfectly honest, Stiles agrees with them (as much as he argues against the point whenever they bring it up).

But this is probably a new low.

Well, not new-new, because this is into the fourth week of the habit and if he was a better person, he’d have stopped by now. He’s not a better person in this instance, but he’s made peace with it.

‘It’ being watching his stubbled neighbour jog past his place every morning in sweatpants and obviously non-supportive underwear. There’s a lot of movement down there. A lot.

“I mean, with that much jiggle, he’s gotta know, right?” Stiles asks his window pane, behind which he’s fake writing on his laptop.

They’re not quite neighbours, there’s about half a block between them for which Stiles’ sanity is thankful. Otherwise who knows what ludicrous amateur spying would have occurred.

As it is, he is very thankful he accidentally set his alarm for five am two (it was four) mornings in a row, because now he knows that this is a morning ritual for his neighbour.

Today hot neighbour is wearing the cut off, grey sweats. They’re a personal favourite of Stiles’ (better than the dark blue ones, which make it harder to see) because it means not only can he get a clear view of his neighbour’s dick as it swings forward against the fabric, but also his sweaty, perfectly muscled calves.

Stiles sighs out and bangs his head once against the window pane, a small punishment that is also part of the routine.

What is not part of the routine, is hot neighbour looking into Stiles’ window, and seeing Stiles’ face smooshed against the glass, after which he trips, possibly in disgust, or just simple distraction.

Stiles’ first reaction is to panic. He pushes his chair back from the desk and slams his laptop closed.

His second reaction is that he should call someone to come help.

His third reaction is to realise that, hold on, he can go and help.

Stiles rushes out his front door and into the chilly morning air.

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jealous + jeff atkins

plot : y/n is jeff’s secret girlfriend but she gets jealous when other girls talk to him and has to show everyone/and him, who’s he is

word count : 1270

notes : jealous!reader

++++

Walking into school, your eyes searched for someone in particular.  You found him with his friends, leaning again his locker surrounded by his usual group of friends. He caught your eye, quickly looking away but a smile burst onto his face. You strode past him, moving to your own group of friends. You could feel a pair of eyes on you and you knew who they belonged to.

“Hey, Y/N’s here!” your best friend, Kat hollered.

Your other friends all turned and smiled at you. You returned it, but furrowed your eyebrows. They were acting odd.

“We have news” one of your other friends chorused.

“We think Jeff might be into you. You know the one on the baseball team? Hot Jeff?” another blurted.

You were stunned for a mere second before you regained your composure and laughed.

“Guys, there is no way Jeff Atkins is into me” you glanced at Kat, with a sly smile on your face.

Kat was the only one of your friends that knew about you and Jeff’s relationship. Kat tried to hide her smug smile,

“He’s been looking at for the past few weeks and you should’ve seen how he smiled when you walked in this morning”

You smacked her on the arm for feeding into this gossip and she put her hands up in surrender.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to do something about that then” you winked at them playfully, making all of your friends laugh, unaware of the truth.

“Oh, better act fast then because, Tracy’s on the same mission”

You turned around to see a girl leaning against his locker. They were laughing about something. She was pretty, prettier than you in your opinion. You trusted Jeff, you knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of envy as you watched him openly laugh with that girl. You two had agreed to keep your relationship a secret until he got his grades up since his parents thought a relationship would distract him. But seeing him talk to that girl so freely, laughing and joking, you realized that could’ve been you instead. But you were used to this feeling so you brushed it off.

“No but Tracy and Jeff would be kinda cute, I mean they’ve been working on a chemistry project together for the past weeks and they’re adorable in class” one of the girls in your circle, thought out loud.

“Have they now?” you muttered.

“Yeah and I reckon they would be a pretty good couple”

You glared in their direction,

“I bet”

+

“Hey Y/N, so I have this chem- ”

Jeff yelped as you pulled him into your room by the front of his shirt, swiftly shutting the door behind you with your foot. You pushed him into the wall next to the door, pressing your body to his, trapping him between you and the wall. Jeff’s eyes widened at your position, looking at you questioningly with big eyes. 

“Y-Y/N what’s going on?”

You didn’t reply verbally, simply pressing your lips to his instead. He instantly reacted to the kiss, moving his hands to your waist, squeezing gently. You let your hand rest on the back of his neck while another sat on his shoulder. He mumbled something incoherent and you ignored it. You shoved your tongue into his mouth, but he pulled away as soon as you did.

“What’s up though?” he whispered, leaning his head back onto the wall. 

You dodged the question, answering with another question.

“You’re okay with this aren’t you?” you responded.

“Well yeah of course…” Jeff stopped for a second, gathering his words but you had already taken that opportunity.

You untangled yourself from him and lifted his shirt over his head, You smiled slyly at the sight of his bare body. You couldn’t help but smash your lips back onto his. He accepted you for a few heavenly seconds before pulling away again.

“No seriously, what’s going on?” Jeff asked, worry in his eyes.

“Does it matter?” you panted, looking up into his eyes, getting restless. 

“It does, I don’t want my girl- oh my god”

You had attacked his neck with kisses, sucking a bit longer than necessary with each. You ran your hand up the dips of his toned abs, getting a groan in return. You moved up to his jaw, pecking his lips before making a path down again. You hit just the right place, near the crook of his neck, making Jeff moan in response.

“Y/N”

You smirked at this, trailing your hand down to his belt buckle. You pulled him closer to you but before you could proceed to undoing it, Jeff pulled away for the third time.

“I’m serious, what’s going on with you? You’re not like this normally…” he muttered, breathlessly.

You took a deep breath, you didn’t want to tell him the real reason you were all fired up. You hated being the typical jealous girlfriend.  At your silence, Jeff spoke again.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s super hot but I just want to know if there’s anything wrong and I want to help if there is”

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, looking at you with those concerned eyes. Those adorable eyes that you fell in love with. Jeff was so different from the other jocks that he called his friends. A normal guy wouldn’t have questioned this but Jeff, being Jeff, was always thinking about your well being.

“I got jealous” you muttered.

You knew from the surprised look on his face that he heard you. You never really got jealous. Girls always flirted with him and you didn’t blame them.

“What was that?"he asked with a cheeky grin.

That little-

"I got freaking jealous okay?!”

And then he burst out laughing. The nerve of him. You looked away, anger bubbling in you.

“Of who?” he got out in between fits of laughter.

“That girl you’re doing the chemistry thing with”

You finally looked back into his amused eyes.

“Worried that we had chemistry?”

You slapped his chest at the terrible pun. That’s when you finally noticed the red and purple marks all over his neck and collarbone. It was your turn to laugh now.

“Well I won’t have to worry anymore” you smirked.

He eyed you suspiciously before following your gaze. You watched as his eyes widened dramatically and he looked to you like a gaping fish.

“Y/N, how the hell am I meant to cover this up? Everyone will notice!”

"Perfect”

BONUS

“Jeff, man it’s like 500 degrees out, take that scarf off” Jess groaned.

“Uh, no I’m okay” Jeff replied awkwardly.

“Well, I’m getting sick of it” Marcus stated, ripping it off Jeff’s neck before he could protest’

The whole group silenced. Why did Jeff have to wear a v-neck today?

“Oh look who got some last night” Bryce cheered.

“Aww, look at our little Jeffrey growing up. I thought you didn’t do one time things” Justin teased.

Jeff had turned a bright shade of red.

“Damn dude, do we know the girl? Because she’s pretty hardcore” Monty chuckled, eyeing the marks that covered a large portion of his neck and shoulder.

Jeff took a deep breath, playfully glaring at you from across courtyard. You caught his gaze, laughing and winked at him.

God, he loved you.

Harry Styles Vocal Health on SNL

Hello!  So first and foremost I wan to put out there how much I love Harry and his voice.  Dear god it’s SO COOL and unique.  I love how when he’s in good vocal health he has all these different textures to it- the gruffness of his chest voice, the purity of his falsetto, the power of his belt.  When the studio version of SOTT came out I couldn’t sing his praises enough.  His voice sounded SO HEALTHY.  He was making such good choices!!!  Everything was relaxed and well supported.  He let the song build naturally.  He MUST have gotten some solid vocal training over his break because that isn’t something that can just happen over night.  I was very impressed and very proud.  I was also a bit nervous to see if these changes would hold when he started performing live….and…..it looks like I had good reason to be nervous.  

Here’s the thing. There are a few reasons I’m so hard on Harry in particular when it comes to poor technique. First, compared to the other guys, his technique is the only one that’s actually physically DAMAGING.  Could the other guys benefit from proper training?  Sure.  Of course.  Every singer can.  Even those who have been singing for years still should train on a regular basis.  But the other boys’ bad habits are just that- bad habits.  They aren’t going to do long term damage, not the way Harry’s are.    The second reason is BECAUSE I know he can do (AND HAS DONE!!!!!) so much better!!   I know he’s CAPABLE of so much more and so yeah, I’m hard on him because of that. And finally, I know exactly what he’s doing physically and exactly what’s going through his mind because I have the same exact bad habits and I can see him using the same exact thought process as to why he slips into these again.

Harry is the Ultimate Performer. He wants nothing more than to put on a good show for everyone, even if that means sacrificing his own vocal health.  Now, that’s isn’t a HUGE problem…until it KEEPS happening.  Which is what happened with OTRA.  And possibly might be happening now, although that remains to be seen.  One performance of one song slips into an entire show of this slips into two shows of this slips into the entire tour and wham, you’ve got nodes.  I think the biggest problem with Harry’s performance last night is he doesn’t trust the material or HIMSELF to sell it the way it is.  He feels he needs to overcompensate and big Big and Bold right from the start and that song is not built to be sung that way.  He started at a level that he couldn’t sustain throughout the entire thing and had nowhere to go.  That’s when he ran into trouble.  

As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew it wasn’t going to go well.  Don’t get me wrong, he sounds fantastic in the beginning…but like I said, there was nothing for him to build upon because he already started it at too high a height. His voice sounded raspy to me too, raspier than usual.  That can be caused by a few things- he could have been dehydrated (you can’t sing right if you don’t pee white!), he could have been tired (we know he’s a morning person and that show is pretty late for him), he could have strained his voice at the concert the night before, he could have over rehearsed, he could have smoked a bit.  I don’t know what the cause was, but he didn’t start off the evening in the best vocal health, especially for a song that’s very difficult to sing.  I also think he KNEW that so again, he tried to overcompensate for that by pushing.  

There is so much tension throughout his whole body, particular his shoulders on up.  I’m sure a lot of that is due to nerves.  I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again: the SNL stage is one of the hardest venues for artists to play.  There’s something particularly rough about it.  He’s also always had problems tensing up his face when he sings, but it what was particularly striking to me was that he did it during the falsetto parts.  That should have been EASY for him to sing.  That’s something light and relaxed.  Almost a break from the tension of the rest of the song…and yet he looks like he was in pain.  Which makes me wonder if he WAS in pain.  it’s hard to tell, but it almost seems like the second time he does it he pushes it more to a mix than a pure falsetto. 

It’s notable to me how relaxed the second syllable of  “bullets” around 2:44-2:48 is compared to the rest.  THAT is what the whole thing should have sounded like.  it’s relaxed and he’s got a great vibratto on it that comes straight from the diaphragm there- compare that to how tight “bullets” are the second time he sings it in that phrase at 2:58ish-3:04.  Why did you change what you were doing, sir??? In fact, to me it seemed like he KNEW it sounded good the first time and did his cute li’l dance and then came back to it feeling like “yeah I got this…” and then tightened right back up again.  because he didn’t trust himself.  

Thennnnnn the bridge happens.  And this is what i mean by he had nowhere to go.  THIS should have been his first belt it out moment.  but he pushed too hard too quickly and his voice just…wasn’t there.  It was tired.  The first scoop up to the first “we” was off key because of it and I think he knew it which made it even worse and MORE tense to the point where he just didn’t have the vocal agility to flip into his fasletto again for “learn”.  And then we’ve got the “it’s just what we know” which was just a poor choice.  I have a feeling he nailed that MULTIPLE times in rehearsals and mannnnn if he was in good vocal health how killer would that have sounded!??!!?  But instead, we got what’s called harmonic distortion which is SUPER VERY YIKESY AND A BIG SIGN OF HOLYSHITYOU’REDOINGDAMAGE (i sincerely hope he has an appointment with an ENT this week and gets scoped to check that out).   This was another instance of him trying to put on a great show and overcompensate for what he probably felt was lackluster vocals (which for the record WERE NOT THAT BAD.  I’m picking it apart because…well, it’s what I do.  and i don’t think I would have had too much of a problem if it weren’t for the super damaging choices he ended up making).  

From there he’s thinking “Oh shit that was bad…I REALLY fucked up…better step up my game and make the end better!” and once again tries to overcompensate and push a voice that’s already been pushed to the brink.  there just wasn’t more in there for it to give.  He couldn’t sustain it.  He had already given everything that there was go to give.  

When it comes to ESNY, it was a much better performance.  I think it’s partially due to the fact that it’s an easier song to sing and partially due to the fact that he was playing guitar so he wasn’t as much in his head (Side note: CAN YOU BELIEVE HE FINALLY BLESSED US WITH HIS GUITAR SKILLS?????).  His belty part towards the end wasn’t as good as it could have been, but I think that’s just due to the fact that his voice was kinda shot and that’s the best it was going to be.  It wasn’t TERRIBLE and obviously it could have been better, but I am curious to hear the studio version to see if there’s more belting that he just wasn’t comfortable with last night.  I could have done without the facial affectations because it just adds more tension and tension is bad, kiddos  But I think it’s a stylistic choice and I’m trying to pick my battles here.  Additionally, as we’ve seen in gif form his li’l neck vein was popping out so yeah he was tensing up pretty good there…but again, it wasn’t as terrible as it could have been since the song itself isn’t as taxing vocally.  

All in all, the performances were great, especially if you’re not as picky as I am. I know this was his first time singing live in well over a year and SNL is high stress and it’s his first time out there ALONE.  I’m curious to see what happens on Graham Norton and if he improves his technique. I’m also really curious to see how he’ll be on tour as well. I do wonder if he’ll lower the key of SOTT so it’s not as taxing.  No one would really notice and it would make things a little easier on him. It’s just frustrating because I know he has it in him to do it well.  We’ve HEARD him do it well.  But he just doesn’t trust himself enough to do that and that kind of breaks my heart a little.  Thankfully, he’s young and has time to learn.  He can still break these habits and make new, healthier ones and learn to trust himself more.

BUDDY.  YOU GOT THIS.  YOU HAVE AN AMAZING VOICE.  YOU ARE A FANTASTIC SONGWRITER.  YOU HAVE GREAT TECHNIQUE WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.  YOU ARE A KILLER SHOWMAN WITH A TON OF CHARISMA.  PLEASE TRUST THESE THINGS AND STOP PUSHING YOURSELF BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU DAMAGE ANYTHING.  

Love,

B <3 

Sexting (Jimin smut)

Originally posted by minblush


Summary: On a lonely night, you decide to sign up for an anonymous sexting site. Of course you are matched with the notorious fuckboy you’re constantly trying to avoid. Park fucking Jimin.

Themes: Sexting, Fuckboy Jimin, College AU.

Pairing: You x Jimin

Word Count: 4k

This fic contains: Explicit and graphic depictions of smut, sex over the phone, swearing. 


ENTER USERNAME:

Cleopatra123

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Male/Female

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I’d rather not say/enter here:

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

Decent conversation/making friends/finding a language buddy/other

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR AGE PREFERANCE:

19-24

CLICK ‘CHAT’ TO BE MATCHED WITH A PARTNER!

YOU HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH ‘THOR562’.

THOR562: 21 years old- Seoul, South Korea- also interested in ‘other’.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHAT?

Yes/No

YOU ARE NOW IN A CHAT WITH THOR562, ENJOY!


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Happy 17 Million Subs, Markiplier!

Happy 17 Million Subs, Markiplier!

@markiplier

Sorry for the late post. I wanted to post it when we hit 17 mil, but you know I’m shy about my art and also I slaved over this for two days please be gentle

This was a pretty fun one to work on. My health is the same as always, so straight lines are absolutely still not a thing I can do, but I’ve been trying to embrace the messier aesthetic and I’m really quite pleased with how these turned out. 

I know it still leaves a lot to be desired, but comparing it to similar things I have done in the past, like the 7 Million Sub art (which also has a dog) or the unholy mess that was the 8 Million Sub art (which I’m trying to give myself a pass on since I was at the hospital that day, but c’mon guys, that was bad) I am definitely improving. 

If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll notice that my art and myself dropped right off the face of the planet for a year, almost two. I had no confidence in myself or in my work, and I let that take me away from what I love to do. It was Mark who brought me back into it. As I mentioned in this post, a lot of things changed for me after I watched the video where Mark talks about how he is excited for failure, because it helps him to grow. Directly after that, simply because one of my roommates put it in the queue on the Chromecast, I watched Mark’s Draw My Life. Although our circumstances are very different, I saw myself in him. I saw myself in the lost person who switched college majors all the time and didn’t know what he wanted. As weird as it sounds, that gave me some hope, which is something I desperately needed. If he can pull himself out, why can’t I?

So here’s the truth: I am in school for advertising, but what I really want is to be a writer. It’s my dream, and my passion is art. I quit both for a very long time, because I couldn’t accept the fact that my illnesses are chronic. I couldn’t accept that I will never “get better”, and that made me stop trying, because why live a broken life, anyway? But just because I’m fractured doesn’t mean I have no value. My brain thinks some terribly sad things, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write beautiful ones. My hands may be unable to draw straight lines, but that doesn’t mean they can’t draw pretty ones. 

So thanks for helping me learn that, Mark. I know you’ll never see this, of course. I’m not delusional. But I’d much rather have a thank-you unheard than a thank-you unsaid, y’know?

So thank you. 

Because of you, I’m trying again.

~*~

As always, you can find these pieces of art on my Redbubble here. (x) (x) (x)

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my ramble. I know it’s irrelevant to you guys, but it helps knowing that I might not just be shouting into the void.

You’ll be glad to know that Even and Isak’s move went pretty damn smoothly, apart from the one incident when Isak cut his hand open with a box cutter.

Even was organising the last of his stuff from his old bedroom in their new room and he’d left Isak unpacking the box of crockery (a moving in gift from his parents) in the kitchen. He was just trying to figure out where to prop his guitar up when he heard Isak yell fuck from across the flat.

He knew Isak’s voice well enough to know that that was his god dammit that fucking hurt voice, and he was on his feet and moving through the flat before he’d actively thought about it.

Sure enough, when he got into the kitchen he found Isak gripping his wildly bleeding hand to his chest, the blood smeared box cutter discarded on the floor about a foot away from him. It took a little bit of coaxing, but eventually Isak calmed down enough to let Even hold onto his wrist and lift his hurt hand above his head to stop the bleeding.

Even circled his free arm around his trembling boyfriend and Isak immediately buried his face in Even’s chest. They stood there in silence for a few seconds: Isak shakily breathing in Even’s smell and Even watching the blood trickle down Isak’s pale arm.

“How did you even manage that, Is?” Even peered closer at Isak’s hand, inspecting the cut that ran down the middle of his palm as Isak buried himself closer into Even’s chest.

“I-” Isak began before quickly changing his mind, pressing his face into Even’s shoulder. Even could feel him blushing. A few seconds ticked by before Isak peeped up at Even from under his lashes and Even just raised an eyebrow at his bashful boyfriend, waiting for the rest of the story.

Fine!” Isak sighed dramatically, as if Even was physically forcing the words out of him rather than just raising his eyebrow. “I got distracted.” Isak fiddled with Even’s shirt with his free hand, one of his more obvious tells.

“By what? You don’t even have any music on!” Even said incredulously. For someone pale with blood loss, Isak miraculously managed to blush harder.

“I was just- thinking.” Isak replied haltingly, like he couldn’t decide if he was going to talk or not. Isak had got a lot better at sharing what he was feeling, but he still had moments where words got so thick in his throat that he struggled to get them out.

Even knew to just wait him out during those talks.

“About how we’re probably going to have people over for dinner, and argue about who does the dishes when we’re both tired, and maybe one day you’ll make us terrible cheese toasties again, or we’ll get better at cooking together. Just…a lot of possibilities in there.” Isak nodded down and the box he had been opening.

And that was how Even found himself grinning from ear to ear while holding a pale and bloody Isak.

“You got distracted while using a sharp knife because you were thinking about our future? Isak Valtersen, are you getting sappy in your old age?” Even teased, gently taking the fingers of Isak’s sore hand now the blood had finally stopped and guiding Isak over to the sink.

“I am not sappy!” Isak protested, letting Even rinse his cut under the tap.

“No, of course you’re not, baby, you just couldn’t help but think of all the dinner parties we’re gonna throw and the food we’ll cook together while unpacking our plates.” Even grinned, gently washing the blood from Isak’s arm.

“You’re never going to let me forget this, are you?” Isak groaned, his eyes practically rolling out of his skull.

“Never.” Even agreed, planting a gentle kiss to the cut on Isak’s palm.  “Just like I’m never going to let you near anything sharp ever again. You’re on sauce stirring duty for the rest of your life.”

“I can live with that.” Isak looked up, giving Even that vulnerably honest look that made his heart clench.  “As long as I’m always in the kitchen with you.” Even smiled at that, circling his arms around Isak’s waist and bringing him closer. He brushed his nose gently over Isak’s, watching his eyes flutter closed.

“As if I’d trust you in the kitchen alone.” Even whispered against Isak’s lips, brushing the lightest of kisses there.

The truth was, Even would go anywhere if it meant being with Isak.

Starting with their mess of a kitchen.

other tips for new cat owners / people who may get cats soon:

no, getting a grown cat won’t be boring / less cute! they’ll become just as attached to you as a kitten. get a cat that speaks to you (literally or figuratively, maybe you want a cat that’s chatty). older cats will be so appreciative to have a home. 
people get rid of their cats for all kinds of unfair reasons. just the ones i’ve seen on the craigslist listings in the last 5 minutes: “i am just more of a dog person (7mo old kitten)”, “we hoped she would get over her kittenish behavior, she has not (2yr old cat)”, “i need to get rid of my cat before my baby is born (3yr old cat)”.
you can totally pick up a beautiful, loving, grown up kitty who will be needing some comfort after getting dumped. just look at this girl.

(taken off craigslist) she would be more than happy to live her cat life with you. is she not cute? she is. she is cute. so, ultimately, adopt whatever cat you like, but don’t rule out older cats!

nextly: no no, do NOT declaw your cat. DON’T DO IT. I’M TELLIN YA.
it’s a deeply painful procedure, actually removing the entire first knuckle, not JUST the nail. it causes long-term and potentially permanent pain in the cat, and can lead to nasty infections, behavioral problems, and helplessness if they ever find themselves outside and in need of protection or climbing abilities.
“but i don’t want my cat to scratch me / my kid / my furniture!” okay, i feel you, but there are other, cheaper, less inhumane options. my favorite of which are claw caps.

you gently press on your cat’s foot (to unsheath their claws), and place the soft cap onto their claw using the glue that’s included in any soft paw kit you get. it might take some getting used to on the cat’s part, but it should under no circumstances be painful, and when the kitty’s claws grow, the cap just kinda falls off, and you’ll put another one on.
you can also file or clip their nails down! if you’re too nervous or clumsy to do it, your vet will usually do it for a small fee, or a groomer can take care of it. Personally, I just let my cats’ claws hang out and accept the pokes when they knead on me, since i don’t have any little babies or expensive upholstery in my home. 

No, cats ain’t “low maintenance”. This is a living, social creature, not a chiapet. Especially if you’re raising them from kittenhood, they need a lot of attention and resources. cuddles, playtime, training, health care, feeding, cleaning up their facilities. you get a pet to interact with, not to buy and leave it be! a cat that you don’t socialize is going to be very moody and sad. get a pet if you plan to invest the time and energy they need- if not, maybe we can come back to that cactus idea? 

Cats need meat. I repeat, cats cannot survive without meat. Dogs need meat too- but cats are incapable of creating taurine in their own, and where do you find taurine? meat! hallelujah!! 
Feeding cats a vegan or vegetarian diet is a slow form of starvation and animal abuse. If you’re not comfortable feeding an animal meat, please do not adopt a carnivore. There are plenty of vegetarian mammals that you would be much better suited owning, but do not abuse your cats just because of your own feelings about protein. 
Without enough taurine in a cat’s diet, severe health problems will follow, like blindness, weak and decaying teeth, weak heart, and digestive issues. This is terrible. This objectively sucks. So pretty please give your cat a proper diet!

It’s way way safer to have an indoor cat. I don’t need you to tell me that you want your cat to be with you for many years, ‘cause I already know you do. Outdoor cats are exposed to wild animals, animal abusers, poisonous substances, cars, harsh weather, kidnapping, and diseases. Cats like rolling around in grass and grabbing birds from trees, and that’s great, but having an outdoor cat makes for a steep decrease in their estimated lifespan. The average lifespan of an indoor cat is 16.8 years, whereas outdoor cats average out to a hard-hitting 5.6. Ouch. 
So it’s definitely safer to keep a cat indoors! If you’re adopting a young kitten, it won’t be hard, since they won’t be expecting outdoor time already. If you’re still really into that whole grass idea, you should totally grow some indoor grass for your cat to chill in. 

good.

that’s everything i can think of for the moment, but please don’t be afraid to do your own research on animal care. there are tons of resources out there, and if you have a good vet, they’ll answer any questions you have! 

thank you for readin’ about cat care. as a reward, i’m adding a picture of toby as a baby. enjoy.

anonymous asked:

"You dont want me" ladynoir

Ladybug sat at the top of the Eiffel Tower, her head in her hands, wondering how she could have possibly screwed things up SO badly. 

She heard the light footfall of her partner landing behind her. She couldn’t say she was surprised, he had never been one to leave her to stew in her own misery. 

“So…” he drawled, coming and sitting beside her, “that was an interesting broadcast today.” 

“It was a disaster,” she moaned, still not looking up at him, “I should just throw myself off this tower and put myself out of my misery.” 

“Oh come on, it’s not as bad as all that,” Chat said, patting her awkwardly on the back. 

She turned and glared at him. “It was a live stream, Chat! LIVE! It’s out there. Right now!” 

“True,” he conceded, nodding his head, “but it’s not like you said anything horrible. It was kinda cute actually.” 

“You don’t understand,” she moaned, slumping over so until she was curled up in his lap, “I’ve ruined everything! What sort of an idiot starts babbling about their crush on a live broadcast.” 

“Well, apparently you,” Chat said with a light laugh, cautiously reaching forward to play with the ends of her hair, “and about half of the rest of the known world. It could be a lot worse buginette.” 

“Do you think there is a chance he didn’t see it?” she asked hopefully, looking up at her partner’s thoughtful expression. 

He gave her a pitying smile. “I think you’re pretty much out of luck their bugaboo. You already have a ship name and everything. It’s trending on twitter.” 

“Ugh, that’s terrible,” she groaned, curling up tighter and burying her face against his leg. 

“I don’t know,” Chat teased, “I thought Ladrien had kind of a nice ring to it.” 

“This can’t be happening,” she moaned. 

“Hey, come on. What’s this really about? Is it really going to be so awful for the guy to know you like him? He might be flattered.” 

“It’s not that,” Ladybug said softly, “I mean, it’s MORE than that. I haven’t even told him I liked him- as myself, my not Ladybug self I mean. And now… let’s say he does feel flattered? That just means I have made myself my own competition! And it’s not like I can just go up to him and be like: Hey, by the way I’m Ladybug and, as you already know, I’m totally in love with you! Want to date me now?” 

“Oh god,” Chat said with a sudden sense of horror, “there are going to be so many desperate fangirls trying to do that.” 

“I didn’t even think about that! If he didn’t before he’s definitely going to hate me now. I might be the only person in the world who can simultaneously confess to her crush and make it harder for him to notice me!”  

“You really are one of a kind there bugaboo,” Chat said giving her another reassuring pat on the shoulder. 

“And what if this puts him in danger? I mean I might as well have stamped a butterfly tattoo across his back saying property of Ladybug, please exchange for one miraculous!” 

“Please don’t do that. I am told that models need to be very particular about what they put on their skin.” 

“It’s not funny. What if I honestly made him a target?”

“Hey,” Chat said “I promise you, if anything happens I will be the first person on the scene.” 

“Thanks,” she said gratefully, reaching up and catching his hand in her own.

“So, you’re in love with the model boy,” Chat said softly, rubbing his thumb absently against the back of her hand, “gotta say I didn’t see that one coming.” 
“Yeah well, it’s not like it really matters anymore,” she sighed, “it’s not like it would ever happen.” 

He scoffed at her, rolling his eyes theatrically to show his clear contempt for her pessimism. “So tell me My Lady,” he asked shifting slightly so that he could look down at her with a playful smile, “what is it that you see in this guy anyways?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“You don’t want me, so clearly you aren’t after the guy for his looks,” Chat said wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously. 

“No,” Ladybug laughed, “although they don’t hurt.” 

“Why My Lady, was that you finally admitting that you find me attractive?” 

“You’ve always been attractive and you know it,” she said reaching up and flicking his bell. “As you can see I’ve just had my attentions elsewhere.” 

“Oh so this is a long standing attachment then? How long have you been dreaming of being M’Lady Agreste?” he teased poking her lightly on the nose. 

“Almost from the first day I met him. It will be two years next week,” she said softly. 

“The start of school,” Chat murmured, “you know him then?” 

“yeah,” she admitted reaching blindly around to catch his other hand and pull him to her like a security blanket. “We were in the same class in college and we still have a few classes together now. Plus our friends are dating so we hang out a lot.” 

“You two are close then,” Chat said a little breathlessly, “that… well that certainly clears things up.” 
“Yeah,” Ladybug said, “it’s not just some creepy celebrity crush. I mean, it kind of was that too. I have like 2 dozen photos of him plastered on my wall that I used to practice talking to because for the longest time I could barely string a sentence together around him, it was kind of embarrassing. I got over it eventually, but by that point I didn’t really have the heart to take the pictures down.” 

Chat gave her a warm smile. “I can see it now, you stuttering and tripping and shooting the poor confused boy adorable awkward smiles before running off in the opposite direction.” 

“Shut up,” Ladybug said but she couldn’t help grinning at her partners soft tone and fond smile. “I got better.” 

“I know.” He raised one of her hands to his lips and gave her a delicate kiss. “So you still haven’t told me what you see in this guy,” he challenged, “If I am getting demoted to your rebound choice I deserve to know what I am up against,” he said slyly. 

“He’s kind,” Ladybug smiled, filling with warmth as she thought about her love. “He always wants to see the best in people,and he… he is just good, you know? The kind of goodness that doesn’t come from ignorance or being sheltered, but that has seen pain and and heartache and loss and yet still chooses to be good. 

“That is high praise indeed My Lady.” 

“You aren’t going to make fun of me for this?” 

“No My Lady. If anything I am going to love you more for it.” 

She gave him another grateful smile before sitting up. The sun had begun to set and she knew she should be getting home. She probably had a dozen of so missed calls from Alya waiting for her. 

“Well who knows,” she said attempting to be flippant. “Maybe he’ll finally just reject me and I will change my mind about you Kitty.” 

“Wouldn’t that be a twist,” Chat laughed climbing to his feet and offering her his hand to help her up as well. 

“It would probably be for the best,” she sighed. “It’s not like we can be together. Not with Hawkmoth still on the loose. There is too much at stake. And I don’t know if I could bear having to hide my identity in a relationship.” 

Chat grinned again. “You are very wise My Lady.” 

“Mostly I am just telling myself that so I can feel better,” she admitted and was rewarded with a loud melodious laugh. 

“You know,” he said, eyes twinkling “you are probably right. Clandestine meetings, midnight makeout sessions, it’s probably better to hold out for the real thing.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Besides, I hate to break it to you My Lady but I have a sinking feeling that #Ladrien is not to be.” 

“And why is that Kitty?” 

“Well,” Chat said looking out at the sunset, “not to be the bearer of bad news but I have it on very good authority that your lover is very much spoken for.” 

“oh?” Ladybug said trying not to let her disappointment show. 

“Yes, completely and hopelessly in love. Someone at his school in fact.” 

“And who is this mystery girl?” she asked. 

“It’s right on the tip of my tongue,” Chat said his eyes glittering with something she couldn’t quite name, “it will come to me. I’ll have to tell you next time I see you.” 

“Well thanks for the heads up,” she said leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek, “and thanks for cheering me up.” 

“Always My Lady. I should probably get heading home myself.” he pulled out his staff and and extended it. 

“Oh,” he said, shooting her a final grin as prepared to depart, “I do remember one thing.”
“And what’s that?” 

“The mystery girl, I knew there was something about her that I found particularly delectable.” 

“And what is that?” 

“Her parent’s own a bakery.”  

Jack knew something wasn’t right when he woke up. The covers were too hot on him and his head was pounding like he’d been drinking too much the night before. He shifted, trying to get his bearings, but at some point during the night, he must have pulled the covers over his head. He struggled free, enjoying the fresh air, before noticing a pair of paws on the bed. When he moved his arms, the paws moved too. What followed next was a confusing jumble of panic and incoherent screaming that came out as yowls.

He must have passed out again, because when he came to, he was still disoriented and nauseous. He confirmed that, no, it had not been a bad dream. Somehow, he’d grown four legs and a tail overnight.

After the initial panic, he jumped on his bedside table where his phone was, but he was uncoordinated, and ended up knocking the phone to the ground. He batted at it on the floor, but found that the battery had drained itself overnight when he’d forgotten to charge it.

Cursing and swearing to himself, he wandered his apartment on shaky legs. Thankfully, he hadn’t quite turned off the tap in the bathroom and the dripping of the faucet helped to parch his thirst as he tried to think of what try next. He needed to get help soon. Otherwise, he was going to end up starving to death in his own apartment.

In the living room, Jack found a window that he’d left open because it had been too hot last night. He squeezed out onto the fire escape and tried not to look down. It was strange in this body. Jack never had an issue with heights before, but now, a glance downward to the street had his head spinning with vertigo.

Left with no choice, Jack began to climb upward with the dim hope that someone had also left a window open.

He didn’t get too far before the enticing smell of spices and baked dough reminded him how hungry he was. He followed the smell until he staring into a kitchen where someone was bent over, pulling pies from an oven. Jack called out for the guy’s attention, and when he finally glanced in Jack’s direction, he scrambled to open the window.

“Hey, kitty. What are you doing so high up?” he asked. Jack stiffened when the guy picked him up, but he let himself get rescued from the precarious ledge. “Where did you come from?”

Help me! I’m not really a cat! Jack tried to say, but as expected, it came out in a series of pitched meows.

“Hmmm, okay. You hungry?” He set Jack on the floor to rummage around in his fridge. He set out a plate of leftover meatballs which Jack, losing his composure, attacked immediately.

“I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry, little–uh– guy?” He attempted to lift Jack’s tail to check, but Jack had hissed and swiped his claws. “Okay, never mind. We’re not going there,” he said backing off. Satisfied, Jack continued to eat, though with a suspicious eye on the guy who’d now dropped onto his stomach to watch Jack with a bright smile.

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What podcasts I listen to

This is a post that most likely no one cares about since I shitpost whatever I’m into but I wanna get my thoughts about the podcasts I listen to regularly and what I feel about them. 


Welcome to Night Vale - This is the one that got me into podcasts although it scared me at first. I managed to listen to 60 episodes in almost a week so I was pretty hooked. This is about a friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful and mysterious lights pass while we all pretend to sleep. It’s set in a H P Lovecraft style of world where the scariest of things are seen as the most normal of things. Things change when a beautiful stranger comes to town but you’ll fall in love instantly. Episodes come out the 1st and 15th of each month

Alice Isn’t Dead - This is done by the same company that does Night Vale and it’s a lot darker and creepier. It is about a truck driver who drives around the country trying to find her wife Alice while discovering things about the towns she goes past. A warning if you don’t deal with gore or violence very well (also spoilers) someone does get murdered in the first episode and the main character does get attacked in a later episode. This show is only done by Joseph Fink and his style is a little scary at times but it’s still good. I recommend binge listening to the first season before the second one comes out because it’s a little easier to keep up with the story that way. I prefer Night Vale over Alice but that’s just a personal opinion. Episodes will continue when the next season starts. 

Wolf 359 - This is one of my favourite podcasts I have ever listened to. Written by Gabriel Urbina, it’s about Doug Eiffel’s life on the Hephaestus Research Station as they orbit the red dwarf star Wolf 359. This a podcast you’ll want more of and you’ll want to know every single plot twist and theory. The characters are loveable and it just makes me really happy. Renee Minkowski is the station’s commander and she makes sure that her boys stay in check (mostly Eiffel). Dr. Hilbert is honestly a little creepy but you can’t hate him and HERA is my computer wife. Every storyline is great and will only keep you guessing. The website also has other cool stuff such as playlists for the characters which are on spotify and there are small little things that are fantastic. The early seasons are very lighthearted and Zach Valenti (@iamzachvalenti) voices both Doug and Hilbert and it’s just fantastic to listen to. Episodes come out every two weeks.

Limetown - Limetown is very different compared to the other podcasts. It’s a news report that follows a reporter, Lia Haddock, as she tries to find out what happened to an entire town of people that just vanished into thin air. The length of the episodes span under 10 minutes to nearly an hour. It’s interesting but Lia is kinda annoying with her methods of obtaining the information she desires but her intentions are in the right place, despite her actions getting innocent people hurt. The podcast kinda stopped in December last year so it’s real easy to listen to but you will want more which is disappointing since you want to know what happens in the next season. It takes a very realistic turn of events so who knows when the next season comes out. If you like realistic podcasts then this is the one for you 

The Bright Sessions - Another personal favourite of mine and I no joke want more right now. The only way I can describe the podcast without spoiling it is X-men go to therapy. It’s an actual pleasure to listen to and it keeps you hooked. Lauren Shippen  (@thelaurenshippen)  has created something thats actually beautiful and has created characters who are relatable in every way. Sam is a time traveller with anxiety, Caleb is a high school student who can feel others emotions, Chloe thinks she’s going insane with the voices of angels then there is a mysterious character who I shall not name. It’s defiantly worth a listen and it’s an A++ podcast. The website also has things that are unique to each person. Sam has a blog, Caleb has instagram and playlists of his own and Chloe has tumblr. This is no joke something I want to make in the future so it’s amazing to me. New episode dates will be released with the new episodes. 

King Falls AM - This is like Night Vale but less creepy and more paranormal. The main characters are Sammy “Shotgun” Stevens and Ben Arnold who host a  late night call in show. I can only imagine this like Night Vale because of the similar format but they are completely different. King Falls AM is what Night Vale would be if the town normal and unusual things aren’t normal. The characters are really loveable and I just love them so much. There are people you will love to hate and it definitely makes you feel like you are a citizen of the town which is great. It brings a sense of community to the small fandom. I want to say more but it’s very spoilery so I will say no more. It’s worth the listen to and I recommend binge listening to this one, trust me you’ll want to. New episodes come out the 1st and 15th of each month. 

EOS 10 - I’ll admit that I haven’t finished this podcast but I don’t think they’ve made new episodes since last year?????? (it was December so I wasn’t wrong). The story follows Ryan Dalias arriving on EOS 10 to check up on the doctor on the ship who has been going through his share of addiction. From what I’ve listened from this, it’s not bad but not my cup of tea. Scifi podcasts don’t work for me but I still enjoy this quite a bit. Warning if you aren’t interested in hearing people do the frick frack then there is a part of episode 3 that you’ll want to skip because it’s a little uncomfortable. The first two seasons are out and god knows when the next season will be available. 

Within the Wires - This is another one done by Night Vale presents. Within the Wires is written by Jeffrey Cranor and the story is based through a series of standard relaxation tapes where you soon realise that yours aren’t standard. The woman on the to the main character and you slowly figure out what that connection is. The tapes themselves are a little creepy but they are sort of relaxing at the same time. Season two may be different and possibly might not be relaxation tapes but that’s the exciting thing about it. I personally prefer this podcast to Alice because I can listen to this and not feel scared when I’m trying to sleep. This one just creeps me out opposed to scaring me so I stay awake. I wouldn’t listen to this before bed though. I recommend to listen to this on a really long road trip because that’s the most comfortable I felt when I heard it. New episodes will come out when the new season does. 

ars PARADOXICA - Imagine if you had accidentally created time travel and you find yourself in 1942 in the middle of the second world war. That’s what Sally Grisham does and she soon discovers that her time travel only goes back so she attempts to find a way to go back to her own time which is a little difficult with only technology from the early 40′s. I’ll be honest, I did really like this podcast when I first started it but the last 4 episodes make me question if I actually want to continue it. The latest episode makes me think that I could continue it. They do give warnings about gun violence and terrible things happening to kids which made me super uncomfortable but the warning was nice. New episodes come out the 1st of each month

The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air) - Yet another Night Vale presents project but it’s not written by Joseph or Jeffrey. The story follows the janitor Juilen as he tries to get into the show without getting caught. The podcast is set on top of the Eiffel tower and the most magical things happen such as a bird who can recreate a whole orchestra perfectly and a machine that can make the thoughts of a cricket come to life. There are only four episodes so far but it’s pretty good so far. The janitor is my favourite and he just shares stories about his life that only make me want to get to know him better which is nice. The french accents also make me really happy. New episodes come out every other Wednesday and I high recommend it. 

Podcasts I haven’t started but are on my list

Homecoming 

Lore

The Penumbra Podcast

Return Home

Our Fair City

LifeAfter 

I wanted to make this in case anyone was interested with what I was listening to and I would like recommendations with podcasts because I’m always looking for new podcasts to listen to

daiyanodumpster  asked:

a prompt mayhaps: Viktor is a big-time lingerie designer and Yuuri is a model ;)

finally getting around to this one! s/o to everyone on discord who aided and abetted ;)


In retrospect, it really should have been more obvious. After all, the brand’s name was Secrets by V, for crying out loud.

But at the time of their first meeting, Yuuri had been nothing but nervous. It had been his first shoot as a History Maker – the industry nickname for the beautiful, sexy models of all genders who advertised Secrets by V’s ultra-luxe lingerie. The new campaign that season was fairytale and true love-themed, to better highlight the romantic details on the new Stammi Vicino line. Yuuri had rushed in late that morning, no thanks to the traffic, and then watched as two female models posed together in each other’s arms, clad in coordinated bra and panty sets with wings on their shoulders.

(He’s still not sure how he managed to join their ranks. He’s just too mild-mannered and plain – too Clark Kent, no Superman.)

“Are you looking for something?” someone asked, and Yuuri turned to see the most beautiful man looking at him curiously. His silver fringe was falling into one of his icy blue eyes and he was clad in a simple navy suit, clutching a tray of coffee.

“Y-Yeah!” Yuuri stammered. “I’m the new model? Yuuri Katsuki?”

The man hummed, consulted a clipboard, and nodded, pointing to a door to the side. “Go through there and they’ll get you ready for the shoot.”

Yuuri nodded, his throat feeling more and more like sandpaper the longer he stood there and watched this man scrutinise him. “Th-Thanks,” he said, feeling his face redden. “Are you – do you work here?”

The man raised an eyebrow and nodded.

“Are you in charge of this shoot?” wondered Yuuri.

The man laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m just watching.”

“So you’re an intern?”

The man’s eyes widened briefly, but he quickly recovered and nodded, laughing. “You could say that,” he said. “I’m Viktor.”

“Yuuri,” said Yuuri, and lost himself in the brilliance of Viktor’s smile as he shook his hand.

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FICS FOR STEREK’S VALENTINE’S DAY FIC REC

As it’s coming up to Valentine’s day I thought I would put a rec together of all my favourite Valentine’s themed fics!

Hope you enjoy, and remember as always, make sure you check rating, tags and warnings on all fics!


Always (1/1 | 1,066 | Not Rated)

Derek’s in love with Stiles but thinks he’s about to lose him. Stiles was never going to let Derek go in the first place. Fluff ensues.

Sometimes love is an obligation to your grandmother (1/1 | 6,982 | Rated M)

Dearest Derek,

Welcome to your 21st year! As per the wonderful tradition of the house of Hale, you will be attending some of the best places to be single that Beacon Hills has to offer today. First, it’s to the Coffee Shop on Main where you will get two lemon zest chocolate chip muffins. Listen to me very carefully, I’m going to ease you into the way this works. Buy two muffins, but you’re only going to eat one. Find someone cute to give the second one to…

The letter went on, but Derek was staring at it in horror, unable to process how terrible that sounded in just the first paragraph. Today was going to suck.

*

Or: Derek’s grandmother relishes setting her single grandchildren up on Valentine’s Day. Only, less ‘setting up’ and more ‘forcing them to run a singles-only scavenger hunt where the prize is love or at least sex’.

Derek never wins. Derek never WANTS TO win.

Kiss Me Under the Light of a Thousand Stars (1/1 | 5,631 | Not Rated)

“It was a true love spell,” he admits quietly. “It was supposed to help me find my true love. And apparently I suck at magic as much as I suck at dating because I screwed this up too.”

~~~

In which Stiles’ Valentine’s Day love spell goes very wrong.

Or perhaps very right.

Valentine’s strike (2/2 | 6,015 | PG-13)

Stiles hates Valentines Day. It was the bane of his existance. But he’s home for the 'holiday’ and has nothing to do since everyone he knows is busy. Except Derek, Derek is the only one alone as him.

Or

The five times Derek and Stiles date by accident and the one time one of them actually ask.

Thank Jackson for me (1/1 | 3,187 | PG-13)

Derek keeps asking the wrong kind of questions.

Hot for Teacher(’s Aide) (1/1 | 8,050 | PG-13)

“He invited you to his apartment.”

“To do a lesson plan.”

“Yeah and to probably lesson your plan while you’re there,” Scott said, waggling his eyebrows.

“That made no sense, but you still managed to make it sound dirty,” Stiles said. “I’m impressed.”

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What He Sees

Characters: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: angst, self doubt and self loathing, fan hate, fluff, mild smut

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: This is the SECOND fic for my 6k celebration and one year fic-i-versary. The line requested was, “You should be able to see that I’m 90% crap..” It will be highlighted in the fic. This is written for Steph, @torn-and-frayed Hope you like it, dear. Thanks for celebrating with me.

Tags at the end

Feedback welcome and appreciated

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I Got You On My Mind [Part 4]

Jungkook Soulmate AU (Angst)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Summary: After your memory loss, adjusting back to normal life has been difficult. Luckily, Jungkook is always there for you. Still, something seems off about him, and you just can’t understand why.

Word count: 2k words

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

“Oh yeah, I’m being discharged tomorrow,” you told Jungkook, who was pushing your wheelchair through the hospital. He insisted that you needed a change of scenery. “My parents are going to pick me up and drive me back to my apartment.”

“I-I guess it’s too early for the ‘meet the parents’ thing, right?” Jungkook stammered, uncharacteristically nervous. “Unless you want me to. Like, I don’t mind if–”

“Chill, Jungkook,” you laughed, cutting his off his rambling. “I think they’re more worried about my brain damage than any soulmate business.”

“The doctors said you’ll recover your memories though, right?” Jungkook asked, worry lining his words. “Your memory loss won’t be permanent or recurring?”

“They said my memories will come back slowly,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly. “But most of the time, the memories will have to be triggered by something. They also told me I might have short-term memory issues for the next little while.”

“That seriously sucks,” Jungkook said. “If you need any help with anything, just let me know. I don’t really know how I’d be useful, but don’t hesitate.”

“We’re not in the same department,” you snorted, turning to peer up at your soulmate who was both familiar and foreign in this instant. “This is gonna make school so difficult. I’ve forgotten nearly three months worth of content!”

“Maybe take the semester off?” Jungkook suggested. “Amnesia is a pretty valid reason. Have you talked at all to the university?”

“No,” you groaned, sinking into the wheelchair. “I don’t want to think about responsibilities right now. Just marvelling in the fact I’m still alive and kicking.”

A silence fell between you and Jungkook as he pushed you through a more crowded area of the hospital. You noticed a few younger visitors visibly gape at Jungkook, then glare at you jealously as you rolled by.

You agreed with them–how was Jungkook so damn good-looking? You hit the soulmate jackpot, for sure. Still, even if he looked different, you didn’t doubt that you would like him just the same.

“You know, it’s pretty crazy,” you blurted out unthinkingly. “I’ve been talking to you my entire life, and I always thought meeting you would feel like meeting an old friend. But honestly, you’re a total mystery to me right now. Maybe it’s because of the memory loss, or maybe other people feel this way, too.”

“No, I know what you mean,” Jungkook responded quietly, trying to figure out how to express his thoughts properly. “It’s just…we have an idea of who our soulmate is in our heads. When they’re not exactly that person, it’s kind of confusing.”

“And I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff we still don’t know about each other,” you agreed. “Honestly, I tried to make myself seem a lot better than I am.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jungkook laughed, though it sounded a bit off. You brushed it off as embarrassment. “Didn’t want to disappoint you.”

You turned your head and looked up into Jungkook’s eyes. “You couldn’t have disappointed me Jungkook, really. I’m just happy to finally meet you,” you replied, giving him a small smile. “And it’s kinda paradoxical, isn’t it? Disliking your own soulmate. Weren’t we, like, made to like each other?”

“I guess,” Jungkook said, staring ahead unwaveringly. He pushed you down another hallway, which led to the cafeteria. You only knew because of the wafting smell of hearty food was growing stronger by the second. “But nothing’s ever that simple.”

“Don’t I know it,” you sighed, laughing a little in spite of yourself. You turned the corner into the bustling cafeteria, the noise of the crowds deafening compared to the near-silent, depressing halls of the hospital.

“Want to grab something to eat?” Jungkook asked, the heaviness of your conversation vanishing before you could even blink. “I was going to grab something for myself, too.”

“Sure, I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you agreed. Out of habit, you reached down to pat your pockets for your wallet. “Oh shit, I don’t have any money on me. Don’t worry about it, then.”

“It’s cool, it’ll be my treat,” Jungkook said. When you turned to look at him, he was giving you a lopsided smile.

“Then, is this our first date?” you asked cheekily, delighting in the way Jungkook’s cheek burned. You never expected that a guy like Jungkook, with this terrible fuckboy persona, would be so easily flustered.

“If you want it to be, sure,” Jungkook answered, coughing into his hand awkwardly. You just laughed, and Jungkook pushed you forward wordlessly.


Life at home after getting discharged made staying in the hospital seem like an amusement park. After being sentenced to bedrest by your parents–and having Jieun enforce it with an iron fist–you spent your days bored out of your mind.

In only one week, you had binge-watched three shows, reread all of your course notes (and they didn’t help you remember anything), and read more manga that you had ever read before in your entire life.

You were positively itching to get outside and do something, but what bothered you the most was that you hadn’t talked to Jungkook since your “first date.” When you had gotten home, you jumped to charge your dead phone, which miraculously hadn’t been destroyed in the accident. But when the device finally charged, you soon realized that you had no way of contacting Jungkook.

For some reason, his phone number wasn’t saved in your contacts. Even though Jungkook had said you had met before, apparently you hadn’t exchanged numbers. That seemed very strange to you.

When you asked Jieun about it, she just shrugged the question off. She said your situation was a bit complicated, but that she’d have to leave it up to you and Jungkook. But Jieun did say that she would mention it to him when she saw him at school next.

Sighing, you reached for your phone beside you. It was still early in the morning. Time had lost all meaning to you, since you spent every moment of the day trapped in your apartment. A bit bitterly, you watched your friends’ Snapchat stories and longed to return to normal daily life.

Suddenly, your phone began buzzing. You dropped it in surprise, and it landed on your nose. The impact stung, and you cursed, reaching clumsily for the phone. You saw an unflattering picture of Jieun illuminate the screen. Eventually, you were able to answer.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, rubbing your hand against your sore nose.

“Y/N, I’m so fucking stupid!” Jieun practically screamed. Wincing, you held your phone away from your ear. “I know you shouldn’t be moving around, but I need you to come to the university right now. I’m working on a group project that’s due in two hours and a bunch of our files got corrupted. I have some stuff backed up on my laptop, which I left at home like an idiot!”

“Don’t worry, I can bring it to you,” you reassured quickly. “I won’t fall into traffic on the way there. It’s like a ten minute walk, so don’t worry.”

“Just don’t strain yourself, okay?” Jieun ordered, the panic still evident in her voice. “Don’t go to quickly and look both ways!”

“Hey, only I can make fun of myself,” you quipped, pulling yourself out from underneath the covers. “I’ll be over soon, I just need to get dressed.”

“Okay, see you soon. Thank you so much, Y/N,” Jieun said, and the both of you said your goodbyes before you disconnected the call.

You glanced down at your pyjama bottoms and at the thick cast over your right leg. Changing pants would be a battle for another day. Unsteadily, you stood up and balanced your weight on your unbroken leg. You reached for the crutches leaning against the wall beside you and tucked them underneath your arms.

As quickly as you could (which was not very quick), you had thrown on a clean shirt and a jacket. Your hair was a mess, so you shoved on a beanie to disguise the tangled frizz. With Jieun’s securely laptop in your backpack, you began the trek to school. Suddenly, the journey seemed incredibly long.


When you finally arrived on campus, you were panting lightly and sweating. You made your way into the music building, relatively unfamiliar with its layout. You detached yourself from one of your crutches and reached into your pocket for your phone. Quickly you sent Jieun a text letting you know you were here.

There were a few benches in the foyer, so once you hobbled over to them, you set your bag down lightly and placed your crutches against the benches. Flopping down, you discreetly tried to massage your sore armpits.

But you were glad to finally be out of the apartment. The fresh air made you feel infinitely better.

“Y/N?” a familiar voice called. Your head whipped around in the direction of the voice. Jungkook a few meters away from you, looking as dark and intimidating as ever. His wide-eyed expression kind of ruined the image though. “What are you doing here?”

“Jieun forgot her laptop at home,” you replied, pointing to the backpack at your feet, as Jungkook made his way toward you.

“Shouldn’t you be at home?” he questioned, stopping when he was standing in front of you. You craned your neck to at him properly. “Is it okay for you to be walking around so soon?”

“Please, don’t get started on that,” you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut. “My parents and Jieun are unbearable. I’ve been lying in bed doing nothing all week.”

“You know, that honestly sounds like heaven,” Jungkook joked. “I’m so swamped right now. I haven’t slept in days.”

You inspected Jungkook more closely. His eyes were ringed by purplish dark circles, but they were hardly noticeable. How unfair–he always looked good.

“Hey, why haven’t you talked to me all week?” you asked suddenly, narrowing your eyes at Jungkook suspiciously.

“I was meaning to call or text or something, but I don’t have your number,” Jungkook answered sheepishly, scratching the nape of his neck awkwardly. “Didn’t know how to ask for it, since you haven’t been around campus lately.”

“Why’s that, though?” you continued, glancing down at your feet. “I mean–you said we met before. Why didn’t we keep in contact?”

“W-well, we did meet, but it wasn’t a proper conversation,” Jungkook explained stutteringly. “It wasn’t under the most normal circumstances, but–”

“Y/N!” Jieun’s loud voice suddenly interrupted. She burst into the foyer, looking absolutely frazzled. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were bloodshot, and you were pretty sure there were coffee stains on her shirt. “Thank god!”

Your friend ran over to you and practically dove for your backpack. She grabbed her laptop and hugged it tightly against her chest.

“Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I made you come all the way here,” Jieun cried, sounding frantic still. “Are you okay? Sore anywhere? Go home right away, okay? You need to rest. And please don’t tell your parents!”

“Oh my god, I’m fine Jieun,” you whined. “I think I can handle walking for, like, two minutes.”

“I just don’t want anything to happen!” Jieun insisted, stomping her foot childishly. “We’re speeding up the recovery process by being extra careful!”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever. Go work on your project and try not to fail.”

“I will,” Jieun replied. “I’ll bring dinner on my way home.” She turned, only spotting Jungkook for the first time. Her eyes narrowed and she frowned slightly. “Jungkook.”

“Jieun,” he replied, just as shortly.

You looked between the two of them, wondering why there was so much tension. It looked like they were having a silent conversation, and you hated not knowing what was going on. You had the suspicion they were hiding something from you–but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out what, exactly.

Eventually, Jieun just nodded and strode away, leaving Jungkook with a tight expression. Visibly, you could see Jungkook try to shake away the tension, his jaw unclenching. When he turned back to you, his features were schooled.

“Give me your phone,” Jungkook said, reaching out his hand and smiling softly. “I’ll add my number.”

- Girl in Luv

Okay, so this one was a bit filler-y. Originally I had planned to make this one angsty too, but I figured you guys could use the respite. Also, it would have been like 4k words and it’s like 2:30AM and this girl needs to sleep. Anyway, stay tuned!! Thanks as always for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed. Your replies and reblogs/tags are so cute I read them all 💛💛💛💛

GOT7 React: Realizing They Have Feelings For You

Request: Hi ! Could I request a Got7 scenario/reaction in which they realize they have feelings for you? Thank you, I really enjoy your writing !

I am so sorry for taking so long to post this! I have three more requests to do after this, but I am still busy with more projects and I am planning getting on a job soon, so I will probably be even more busy if I get hired.

I hope you all like this reaction! It might be a bit messy and rushed, but I tried my best

JAEBUM

Originally posted by nyeong-ing


I don’t think he would acknowledge his feelings at first. He always loved to make you happy, your smile always made his day better anyway.

When he first realized how he felt about you, he was slightly in denial because it was an embarrassing thought. He didn’t think that him wanting to always hear your laugh and see your smile meant that he liked you, but then Youngjae caught him staring at you, a fond, toothy smile on his face. Youngjae whispered in his ear that he was staring and he became flustered, biting his lip.

The days kept going on and on and Jaebum was beginning to be more obvious about his feelings for you. Of course, he didn’t notice how obvious he was being, and sooner or later, all of the members began to notice how Jaebum started to nearly stick to your side whenever you were around. You noticed it too, but didn’t think much of it at first, you just thought that he missed your company all the time.

The other members would giggle behind their hands if they saw Jaebum get upset or jealous when another guy made you laugh or blush, but he can’t help it ): He wants to be the only guy that makes you laugh and smile like that.

Eventually, he does confess his feelings towards you. He was going to keep it secret for a little while longer (who am I kidding, like a year @ least) but Jackson got tired of his pining and convinced JB to tell you he liked you.

MARK

Originally posted by baddabingbaddabang


The quiet bean would be even more shy around you. Whenever he saw you, he would get excited and give you a little wave. You two were nearly inseparable. While you were a great talker, Mark was always a great listener.

This is where I believe he realized his feelings for you. You were talking about your day as he listened to you with genuine interest. You had your head in his lap while your legs were flung over Junior’s legs. Junior was on his phone during this so only Mark was paying attention to you. His elbow was propped on the armrest of the couch with his chin in his hand and he watched you with a little smile on his lips.

You were moving your hands in wild gestures, your eyes staring at the ceiling. Suddenly you laughed which caused Mark to zone out and stare at your face for a second before he snapped out of it when you clapped your hands with another laugh. Embarrassing enough, Junior caught him staring at you for that one second

Mark felt his stare on the side of his face and turned his head, only to have Junior giving him a look and a fleeting smirk before going back to his phone.

He would still be subtle about his feelings for you whenever you came around to hang out with him and the guys, but even though you were oblivious, the other members found it a little obvious since he begins to pay much more attention to you and asks for your opinion on things more often than not.

Fortunately, Mark confessed to you before Junior had to tell him that he was hiding his feelings from you for far too long.

JUNIOR

Originally posted by gotloveforgot7


On the outside, he would be indifferent, but his heart would beat so much faster if you smiled at him or you shouted his name in excitement.

He would get more bolder with you also, with his arm around your shoulders in a casual way as you both looked at your phone screen, scrolling through a social media app.

He would hug you tighter and give you more high fives when you passed by, but overall, I don’t think anyone would catch onto the fact that he really likes you.

Even you wouldn’t notice because you were thinking that he’s just been in a better mood these past few days. You couldn’t complain though because you really did enjoy his warm hugs.

He confessed to you after three weeks which caught everyone off guard because ??? wtf since when bro ?? why did u not tell ur fellow group membrES

JACKSON

Originally posted by jackseunie


Jackson would be all over you. I mean, sure, there are moments where he’s shy around you because ur too cute, but the skinship between you two would be burSTing through the roof.

He didn’t even realize you were PRETTY AS HELL?? He only noticed because there was that one time where he was taking a break in the dance practice room and you were just there? somehow  you ended up taking a nap with your head resting in his lap i don’t knoW. He was going to wake you up because his break was over, but he saw you with your hair framing your face and you just looked so comfortable and soft napping on him. He didn’t have the heart to wake you up and ended up getting scolded when he told the members he would skip practice just this once.

After accepting the fact that he has a crush on you, he would be extra extra touchy with you because ur just ,, such a soft bun.

His arms would always be around you whenever you were around and he would always pull you into a hug if you ever walked past him. Your circle of friends almost thought you two were dating since they kept noticing how Jackson always has some part of his body pressed against yours, whether it’s his cheek against your shoulder or his hand encircling your wrist.

You didn’t mind how Jackson got more affectionate because that’s just how he is, and rejecting his hugs would be most terrible thing to do because he’s such a sweet bun.

Jackson would occasionally scream your name whenever he saw you, even if it was just a picture of you on your social media. He always ran to you when you came to visit and he would give you plenty of compliments whenever you looked particularly lovely (which is like, everyday).

He confessed to you two weeks after because he’s actually really nervous about being honest with his feelings, but fortunately, you accepted his confession because you already figured out that he liked you and well - you like him too.

YOUNGJAE

Originally posted by yjarssunshine


He is trying so hard to not make it obvious. With that said, it’s kind of obvious.

Youngjae laughs at nearly everything you say and whenever he’s texting you, there’s this sweet smile on his face or he’s trying his best to suppress a giggle. At first, it wasn’t even a crush. You both had hit it off so well that you became best friends like a day after you two met.

He sometimes got a little distant when you were around because he was either busy staring at you or he was trying to not be busy staring at you. You probably weren’t even oblivious to the fact that he had a crush on you, but you weren’t going to tell him that. The members knew too, but let Youngjae think it wasn’t obvious that he liked you.

(Seriously, it’s so obvious. He clutches his chest subconsciously whenever you smile at him.)

There would be a few little brushes of his fingers against your arm or back if he was brave enough, but his legs would feel weak if you ever initiated a hug or held onto his bicep.

He would confess the same way Jackson did and you would laugh because you waited nearly a month for him to tell you his true feelings.

BAM BAM

Originally posted by seoulostboys


I think he’d be pretty proud of himself for falling for a girl like you. You’re not only cute, but extremely funny and your laugh is somehow the cutest thing in the world??

He definitely likes it when you wear pastel colours, but is most fond with your comfortable look. Your clothes look so soft, you could probably use them as pillows or blankets as a substitute.

Bam Bam would still be a little shy around you, but would frequently make more ridiculous jokes just to hear your laugh. His smile would be extra wide and he would even laugh with you. He also noticed that you laugh harder and really bad jokes so he throws those in a few times so that he can watch you slap your knee and clutch your stomach.

He teases you a lot more just because he can and you’re really cute when you get flustered, so.

After he’s done being shy around you (for two days), he would confess right away and hope for the best.

YUGYEOM

Originally posted by chattyang


O’ so very shy this boy. He was very comfortable with you at first, occasionally wrapping his arm around your shoulders or ruffling your hair, but when he started to see you as more than a friend, he touched you less and covered his face with his hands whenever you gave him a charming smile.

He giggled shyly if you ever initiated a hug or said something dorky. He stares a few seconds too long when he witnesses you smiling or doing something that you love to do and he lowkey loves it when you play with his fingers.

He’s super tall too so !! height difference is cute (unless you’re not that much shorter than him or you’re taller) but still height difference is cute because when is it not cute. I think he would accept that fact that he likes you fairly quickly and would go back to his normal self where he gives you surprise back hugs and pinches to the cheek,

He would tease you by hooking his chin on top of your head to make himself taller (really it’s just a silly excuse for him to be vERY close to you, slow down speed racer).

He probably confessed a week after he realized he liked you, and he just hoped that you liked him back even if you started liking him a day or months ago.

“Cry Followup”, or “See A Doctor! The Musical”

I got sad. A doctor recommended that I go off my anxiety meds because they might be interfering with a bunch of other health issues. I did. It wasn’t good.

I tapered off for months and dealt with the withdrawal symptoms. When they were gone, I felt ok for a few weeks. Then I was easily irritated and sometimes angry. Then weird feelings started to creep in. I guess it was just dread. Maybe it was weird to just be feeling anything after being numbed on meds for so long. I started crying watching movies sometimes or thinking about whatever the fuck. I started getting really sad. Eventually I would cry everyday, sometimes for multiple sessions. It’s strange to think back on that now that I’m safely numbed to fuck again.

My grandfather had died about 8 months earlier and I thought I had emotionally exhausted that, but now it was back and I dwelt on it constantly. I thought of dying with an urgency that I couldn’t distract myself from. I thought of everyone I knew dying. It felt like time was an illusion and it wouldn’t be long until I’m standing beside their open coffins, reflecting on how quickly time had passed and now they’re gone and I’d wasted time not spending more time with them.

Most days I’d just wake up and lie there for hours. I’d try to look at things on my phone to try to distract myself. Snapchat was fun for that. Christ, so was Miitomo. I wouldn’t get any work done. It was difficult to focus and overcome the feeling in my gut of being pulled down and the constant present terror feelings of death and knowing this whole experience will be gone some day, but before that, I’ll watch everyone I know leave too. For a long time, I don’t think I really connected that it was my absence of meds that was doing this to me. I thought maybe it was just circumstances and some kind of Holmes-Rahe scale thing where a bunch of life events happening at once were stacking and compounding my depression feelings. There was no way to win against it and this kind of thing encourages you to not to the things that will typically pull you out of a depression. It makes you want to seclude yourself more and work on further diminishing your self-worth mentally. Instead of seeing friends or doing activities you enjoy, you convince yourself that you’re a burden to them, they don’t really want to see you anyway, and that something bad is going to happen if you go out and do anything. For so many fucking days I just laid there. That makes your depression even worse; your lack of productivity frustrates you and makes you hate yourself. All that wasted time boils your living asshole. It’s a paralysis and you don’t know why you can’t break out of it. You can’t just go into the other room and sit at your computer and do your work. Brains are incredible. Just a bit of absence from a certain chemical changes everything. Of course, you tell yourself things like this, that it’s not really you and that it’s just a biological ineptitude temporarily and that everything will be fine soon enough, but that doesn’t help at all.

That’s the other thing: you don’t feel like this will ever end. This is who you are now. A fucking shrivelled terrified cryhole. I did feel terror quite a few times during all this. It usually gets you when you wake up or try to go to sleep. Everything is still and You are going to fucking die someday, sooner than you think and You have wasted every moment of your life so far blast in your mind and your heart pounds, you can barely breathe, and you might even suddenly groan as panic waves hit your brain in an instant. There’s a terror in knowing there’s no relief from this; that all of these things are true and for some reason you believed the illusion your whole life and weren’t always in the perfect terror about it that you are now. Still, you beg for that trick to come back, to be able to put this mindset away and believe in the stupid shit we tell ourselves just to keep existing in some kind of calm. All these thoughts keep assaulting you with some kind of biological urgency, like you need to figure this problem out immediately or you die. This is what being on chemicals to help your brain for years and then suddenly going off them is like. Your body doesn’t know what the fuck. It’s weird to not give a shit about any of this and then suddenly imperatively have to give a shit about it and be unable to escape it. Even now when I’m in the clear, I still feel its background noise. Maybe I always will from now on. This whole thing has been a Paul on the road to Damascus type ordeal.

I fucking cried watching the new X-Files episodes, my dude. Probably during each one. That’s what it was fucking like. Imagine being in your late ass twenties and something in the X-Files makes you cry because you think of a squandered opportunity, or what you should or shouldn’t have done as a kid, or wishing you had put more effort into certain relationships with family or friends. It just finds anything to grab onto and get you with. You just have a dragging feeling constantly present and looking for things to attach to and convince you you’re sad about. Frankly, it’s fucking annoying. I cried one time because a nintendo phone app was enthusiastic about sharing my character’s picture with others. Just the fact that someone would have an interest in who I am and treat me like a normal person and want to share something about me with other terrible avatars made me cry as I was playing this thing and trying to take a shit. It made me think about my own self-worth and how long I thought there was no reason anyone should give a fuck. Cripe, one time I was almost screaming crying about my best friend who died when we were 11. It was like a fresh wound again and I was lying facedown on my bed wailing like an asshole. Depression can fuck with you.

So, this got pretty bad and I decided I had to see my GP about it. This can become a battle in itself, because past a certain point, you are convinced you aren’t worth the effort and that you’re a burden to have to deal with, and someone else could use that time to see the doctor instead. It gives you any reason to turn yourself down. I cried right away talking to my doctor. All this is really weird to reflect on; I was an entirely different person then. It was like a frantic sadness, an inability to just hold your shit together for even a few minutes. The impending terror was really pressing; a constant urgent anxiety that something bad is going to happen really soon, or that I’m about to get a call that someone I know just died. The doctor recommended seeing a therapist and going back on meds. Now I remember that the reason I finally did something was because my neighbour’s son killed himself. Fuck, that really bothered me. Hearing about any death at all was bad enough, but I think that week I was reading about Edgar Allan Poe’s death and then Vincent Van Gogh’s, and I just got really fixated on vividly imagining their final moments. I think there were others, too. See? Just a stupid thing to waste your time on but in the moment, you think this will help for some reason. Maybe the gravity of that kind of thing hooks you and you can’t help but look into it. So when my neighbour’s son also committed suicide, that was a pretty strong blow. I hadn’t even talked to the guy in over ten years, but I couldn’t help but fixate on having seen his father maybe 3 days prior as he joked in my mom’s backyard and borrowed a ladder. Now his life was ruined and the son he struggled to try to get mental help his whole life had killed himself. He was only 37 and he had a son. I think I spent a few days of weeping out my stupid ass over this, then made the decision to see my doctor.

I started seeing my therapist and cried within 6 minutes of entering his office. I wish I went to see a talk doctor when I was recommended it as a teenager. It’s good shit. Beyond that, I started seeing my friends again. Before this, I think 2 years had passed between us spending time together. I had talked myself into feeling like they were better off without me anyway and had their own real friends and lives that I didn’t have anything to do with. I started to exercise and even just take walks around the block. Sometimes, if I was just lying awake staring at the ceiling, I’d get up and go for a run. I started being able to work on videos again and looked forward to it. Thinking back on it now, I realize I kept streaming during the whole time. That would become the only thing I’d do or look forward to for most of this stretch. SO THANKS IF YOU LOOKED AT MY TERRIBLE STREAMS DURING THIS ERA I WAS QUITE WOUNDED AND I’M HOPEFUL THAT I WASN’T TREMENDOUSLY OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS, YOU HELPED KEEP ME STABLE WATCHING ME PLAY WITH CHILDREN’S TOYS. Beyond this, I’d just sleep until the afternoon and try to find a way to kill time until the streams started. This is why there were even less videos than usual. I was sad.

So, these things helped pull me out of the shit. A lot of it is self-examination and discovering why you feel this way in the first place. I’ve talked to my therapist about whether or not this whole thing was because of being on meds for so long and then going off them and feeling a withdrawal, or if that’s who I am underneath the medication.  He said that it is probably both, but more that that’s who I am. Fuck. He categorized this as a major depressive episode. It was weird to just hear the words. That is the kind of thing that happens to people in their mid-30s in office jobs who are getting shit on by everything in their lives. I guess it can also make you feel like a diva asshole; that you feel you’re so important that you had to have this major crisis about yourself. Writing this makes me realize how stupid it is to think like this, but that’s the kind of trap you get put into. Anyway, let me emphasize how important it is to see a therapist if you are depressed. Do it. It can change everything. Also talk to a doctor and see if meds are part of your solution. See a doctor. Do not just let it go. This is like if you had cancer and you just wanted to wait it out or hoped it would get better on its own. A lot of people let it go until it’s overwhelming and consumes them completely and just kill themselves to end the pain. Don’t!

I got better. I went on meds and in just a few weeks I made a drastic improvement. Plus the therapy, and plus feeling like I was doing anything with my life again. I hear a lot about hesitation to go on meds because you feel like they may change the foundation of who you ever are. This doesn’t happen. For me, it made me feel more free to be who I felt like I really was. That said, it may numb your emotions if you are a person who typically feels a lot of things. Just talk to a doctor about any concerns you have and don’t let these build up and become reasons you don’t get help for yourself. You are worth it. The doctor isn’t angry to have to deal with you. If it will cost what you can’t afford, don’t let that become an excuse not to do it. Save up or find a way to make it work. Again, it’s like if you couldn’t afford cancer treatments so you just let it kill you instead of finding out how you can make the situation work financially. What you’re dealing with is serious! Do something about it!

I almost forgot to mention that a lot of getting better was having something to look forward to. Knowing I’d see my friends and we’d have a good time was part of it. Another was spending all of my fucking money to go to as many conventions as I could. They were something I enjoyed in the past but didn’t bother with much anymore, so I decided to get back into them. It was the best choice. Thanks for coming to drink a lot of beers and talk shit if I saw you at a PAX or TwitchCon or Magfest! They were sincerely some of the best times of my life. Knowing that it wouldn’t be long until I’d be at another convention helped a lot with otherwise feeling complete dread. The power of giving yourself something great to look forward to is really strong! Do it! Find things you like and make time for them. Reward yourself! At one point, I got into a really unbalanced lifestyle and would spend maybe 60 or 70 hours a week editing videos and I burned myself out to shit. All I would think about was the job and let my health and relationships go to shit. You’re not supposed to do that. Give yourself good things and make it a habit. Anyway, PAX East soon, my man.

When I wrote my last crypost, a lot of people responded it it. I was in a daze for the rest of that day as I heard from a mountain of individuals. A lot of you deal with issues like this and a lot of you feel hopeless about it. It’s fucked up! This is your life! You’re entitled to a good one! Doing something about it will take a lot less than you may think, and will help you in a lot more ways and probably faster than you may think. A lot of you also said since that you’ve decided to finally get help. So yeah motherfucker I had a cool cry about your messages several times. What was also helpful was anonymous tumblr questions saying they got help so others could see your experiences and know I’m not just yelling out my dick about this. Thanks! You helped people!

Ok I think I have to cut this short now, it got late and I try not to stay awake until fucking 7 AM these days. I feel like I missed a few of the main points I wanted to make but by now I think you get the point that you can feel like you are going to face total annihilation within the next few moments and still get back to normal in very little time. I almost just wrote “Hopefully talking about my own cringe-ass experience helped you with…” and so forth to end this on a light-hearted self-shitting, but that again is part of the problem. Feeling as if your issues are embarrassing, not worthy, juvenile, or to be written off as not serious is no good. I know we joke about this kind of thing to help deal with it, but don’t feel that way for real. AGAIN, YOU’RE WORTH IT. YOU’RE GOOD! YOU’RE WORTH DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FEEL NOT FUCKED UP! GO! 


Go!

12x10 - “Pterodactyl Screeching into the void” - Part 1

My title is borrowed from @postmodernmulticoloredcloak comment on my crazy blogging after first watching this episode earlier. I feel like it is a fitting title for how this episode made me feel. To clarify, these are very very happy pterodactyls.

Steve Yokey wrote this episode and he appears to have well and truly taken up the gap left when Robbie Thompson sadly left the show. In fact this episode to me channels the ghost of Robbie in many different ways. From the fanfiction-esque moments of poor suffering third wheel Sam, to the meta nod to Charlie Bradbury, there is much of Robbie to be found here. Basically, it was bloody perfect.

I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come. Yokey has picked up the characterisations brilliantly, and seems to have an understanding of what the fandom desperately craves in terms of Castiel, his character, his personality and his development. I adored his sass in this episode. Some other writers *cough*bucklemming*cough* struggle to really capture Castiel’s sass and humour. Showing their lack of understanding of Castiel’s persona and his intelligence and instead writing him in a way that is jarring and sometimes basically stupid. Castiel is far from stupid. In this episode he was written perfectly, in a way I haven’t seen since Edlund’s time. Is that a sweeping statement? Maybe. But I’m still riding my high so let me have it this time.

This episode gave us three of my favourite things. Badass and Sassy Castiel, Overprotective grumpy husband Dean, and poor long suffering brother Sam. (baring in mind this is how they are usually written in fanfiction nowadays this is exactly my jam and I am so so happy to see it play out on screen. Seriously who sold their soul to Crowley for this episode?)

This review will also be in two parts. Because I have so freaking much to say about it.

The first part will focus on destiel, the second on everything else including Castiel’s emotional arc (as separate from destiel), his relationships with angels, angels and gender and Lily Sunder’s character.

PART 1 - ALL THE DESTIEL

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Sweet Tooth- A Remus Lupin Imagine

A/N: Another two posts in one night! This is a little tribute to the fact that I already have reached over 100 followers on here, which is baffling?? Thank you all so much for supporting me so much in the very short time I have been on here. I’m so very glad that I have done this and I hope to be getting to some requests that I have received recently, as well! I digress. I hope you enjoy this Remus smut in celebration. This is my very first attempt at writing anything of the sort so sorry if it is no good! Enjoy~

Warning: SMUT 

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

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Was sent home today because of the flu (it came in like a wrecking ball, I tell you) and when my teacher led me to the door – telling me “If I take my eyes of you, you would probably try to sneak back in” – one of my classmates said behind my back “Sick again? Geez, she’s so weak!”.

It’s not like she was very quiet, and a few others started laughing, so both my teacher and I heard her. I felt ready to keel over, but I still said, “No, it’s okay” when my teacher wanted to turn around and call her out on it.

It’s not like I don’t appreciate the fact that my teacher would stand up for me. It’s just that I literally don’t care if they say stuff like that. That’s because of something my brother told me long ago.

I’ve always been a bit sickly. Probably because of my premature birth – being born three months too early means that lots of things didn’t have a chance to fully grow. Apart from some other little things, my immune system is much weaker than average, Thus, when I was little, I literally spent half of my time in different therapies or with trips to the doctor.

Now, it’s not easy to explain to little children why their classmate has to go see the doctor so often. So when I was in kindergarten, my peers often laughed at me or asked question that I couldn’t answer.

“Why are you always sick? Why do you limp? Why does the teacher have to help you walk up stairs?”

And then, finally, when I was five or six and sent home again because of having a fever, one of the children concluded loudly, “Is she more often sick than us because she’s weaker than us?”

Somehow, that scared me. I was too young to understand why I was so different than other children, but I understood that I was. And the thought of being weak, being a burden to others because of that, really scared the hell out of me.

It’s no wonder I was crying when I arrived home – my parents were still at work, and I would have to ask my big brother to tell them I was sick yet again. And still I was so, so scared that I’m weak and a burden.

My brother almost dropped his plate of food when he saw me limping into the room, crying loudly and with cheeks red of fever. “Little sis! What happened?!”

“I’m sick again!” I managed somehow, hiccupping like crazy. Everything hurt, which made me cry even harder.

“Hey, hey, shhhh, it’s okay, everything is okay,” lifting me up, my brother placed me on the couch, tucked me in and went to get everything. By now, it was almost routine between us – lots of water to drink, a cold wet cloth against my fevered skin, and some movies to watch so I wouldn’t get bored.

But even then, I couldn’t stop crying.

“Does it hurt so much?” My brother was at a complete loss, dabbing my face with the wet cloth. “Should we go see the doctor?”

“N-No!” I cried even harder – now I had to go see the doctor again? That made me even weaker, right? “I d-don’t wanna be weak!”

The dabbing stopped, and my brother lifted me up gently, tugging me into his lap. He was frowning as he cradled my face in both hands and asked softly, “Baby girl, who said you’re weak?”

“I’m s-sick so often because I’m too weak, right? The others said so…”

“Well, the others are fucking stupid, then.”

That shut me up pretty quickly and I sniffled with wide eyes. We had been taught not to swear, and that was the first time my brother had ever looked angry.

“Now listen here,” my brother adjusted me so that he could hold me with one arm, the other hand taking up the cloth again to press it against my heated forehead. “You’re the opposite of weak, okay? You’re a fighter. In fact, baby girl – you’re fighting right now.”

“I… I am?”

“Sure you are! Did nobody ever tell you?” Looking around, my brother waved me closer, whispering quietly as if it was a secret “Being sick is actually being in a fight, you know?”

Really?” I was transfixed by that, but I would never have doubted my big brother. I had spent a long, long time believing that everything he said was true.

“It is! You know, the illness? That’s actually a tiny, tiny little army of viruses that’s attacking you. They’re so tiny, you can’t even see them!” He showed me how tiny by pressing forefinger and thump together, nodding all the while. “And you and your body, you have to fight this tiny army. And that’s why everything hurts so much – because you’re taking hits while fighting. But you fight back, and you win, and then you get better. Every time. You see, little sis, you’re like, a knight! A brave knight fighting many armies. The others? They’re not that strong. They couldn’t fight so many armies and still win. So don’t listen to them, alright?”

“Alright,” I agreed solemnly, eyes falling closed as sleep creeped up on me.

“That’s my brave girl. And now, the little knight goes to sleep, so that she can fight with new strength later.”

It was the last time that I thought of myself as weak for being sick so often. From then on, every time I felt bad – be it because of an average illness or depression – I thought of the whole thing as a battle that I have to fight and win.

The whole thing is not even that silly. Think about it – especially those who are somehow fighting their own battles right now. You’re fighting, now or then or in the future. Even though you’re probably feeling terrible, you don’t give up, but keep on going, keep on fighting back whatever makes you feel horrible. How is that supposed to be weak? That’s the opposite of weak! It takes strength and courage to fight. You’re not weak, everyone – you’re super strong and brave, and amazing in general.

Don’t let anybody tell you you’re weak when in reality, you’re a fighter.