this is srsly killing me

club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
  • Me: *Slides $20 to Netflix* Make a Percy Jackson show please... *slides another $5* With an age-appropriate cast...
  • Me: *Slides another $1* Also make a Heroes of Olympus show if PJO does well... *slides another $10* And also cast the characters as the race they were in the books... like seriously just make a Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus show, this is all the money I have...

#Betcha didn’t see that coming  #Let’s pretend I’m extra confident about this

#NO #NOPE #what is this shit #i don’t like this #where’s jim #petition to bring him back from the dead

#shit shit shit shit shit  #how did she know  #what gave me away  #was it the green carnations in the wedding #or the bridemaids in lilac #perhaps this was a bold choice indeed #no we ‘re not together mary you have to believe me  #he only touched my knee once when we were drunk  #nothing suspicious i swear #he’s not with me #jawn help #and i thought i was hiding it so well  #plz don’t kill me 

#srsly now #is this happening #I can’t believe it #I ain’t got no time for this  #Sherlock plz concentrate I’m about to shoot you  #your gayness is unfathomable #IS JOHN IN THE BLOODY BUILDING

#oh #lol right #not my fault your question was ambiguous #straight bro John is downstairs

#well he answered in the second try  #I guess I must give him that  #I was expecting worse  #given


My actual reading of this scene

But don’t you realize that BTS is technically a 7-in-1 package of different ideal types/boyfriends

Whatever ideal type you have, you’ll definitely find it in BTS

  • a nagging boyfriend who cares about your well-being like a mom 24/7 but also likes to do physical activities - Jin
  • That shy boyfriend who barely utters his feelings, pretends that he doesn’t care about you but secretly produces a romantic song especially for you - Suga
  • A boyfriend that knows how to bring up a happy mood anywhere at any time but is also sensitive and aware of other’s feelings - J-Hope
  • An intelligent boyfriend with an IQ of 148 but is a dork when it comes to cheer you up - Rap Monster
  • A real-life example of “good man in the street, beast in the sheet” - Jimin (but srsly tho his squishy face + hot body rolls just kills me everytime)
  • An obedient boyfriend who respects his parents so much, knows how to make you laugh with only a mango pudding and his cute moles, and is a perfect candidate for your kids’ future dad - V
  • A protective boyfriend who will literally punch whoever bothers you at school, but is a cute walking bunny meme in front of you - Jungkook

This band can’t get more perfect

Reasons I Couldn't Wait for Most Wanted Book 2

- Sam and Dave’s relationship
- Information about Hayley Rose’s death
- What happened after Sam got into Dave’s car instead of going back to Texas
- Cassandra’s history with Dave
- Most Wanted universe connection to The Freshman and Rules of Engagement
- More of Reza, Nikhil and Mirasol (best trio ever)
- Ok srsly I need Book Two bcuz the suspense is killing me

Hannictober: Day 6/? - Vampires

Hanni wanted to be the only vampire on Halloween night…

This is a special gift for @cannibalcuisine​ and @ill-graham​ inspired by their fantastic fic A Hollow Faith.  ( ಥ ‿ ಥ)♥