this is something i've always wanted and i can't believe we're actually seeing it

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

anonymous asked:

I love Keen2. I want them to be happy and LAUGH from time to time, play with Agnes and all. I think Tom can be a sweetheart, the cutest but down there still lives the monster. There is one thing about him that I just cannot shake and makes it impossible for me to fully love him. And though I know he's redeemed himself, it's still bothering me. I can't trust him. I'm talking about the "we're newlyweds" scene back in S1. I need a closure. Tom KNEW Liz knew. I forgive the sucker-punches but this...

I know that that scene bothered a lot of people, and I really can’t blame them, even if I disagree with the definition some try to put on it.

It was a tough scene. I think it was meant to be dark and to leave us feeling uncomfortable. I think it was a bad place not just for Tom, but for Liz as well. 

From what I see, I believe the moment that Tom knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Liz knew who he was was actually the next episode. She comes home and finds him playing the music box that Red had restored for her. He asks her about her about it, she lies. He brings up the fact that he saw her at the National Archives and she lies again. I think that was the moment he knew, because  he leaves almost immediately after. He kisses her (and she doesn’t kiss him back) and “takes Hudson on a walk” and calls Berlin’s people for an extraction. The next time he’s in their home is when he’s tied to a chair, delivered by the Pavlovich Brothers.

Saying that, I think Tom suspected that Liz might know in 1.18. I’ve always read that scene as a test of sorts. If she slept with him, things were normal and good and he didn’t have to worry. If she came up with an excuse and found a way around it, then he needed to worry. His shortcoming there was the fact that he underestimated how far she was willing to go. I don’t think that he believed she’d be able (or willing) to take it as far as to sleep with him if she knew he had been lying.

And that brings it around to why it’s a bad place for Liz as well, because she did know that Tom was lying and chose to keep her own cover in everything. They’d been married for 2+ years at that point. I’m sure she’d told him no a time or two over the years and could have found a way to do it, but instead she chose to keep her cover rather than risk tipping him off.

He was playing her, she was playing him. It was a mess. It was twisted. It leaves the viewers feeling uncomfortable, as I think was the point of it. They were in a terrible place by then and things were quickly spiraling out of control for Tom, no matter how desperate he was to hold onto the family with the picket fence, and I don’t think you’ll ever hear a Keen2 fan say that he handled things well throughout 1B. Personally, I spend quite a bit of time looking at Tom’s motives for things, and while I understand why he did a lot of things that he did in the latter half of S1, that doesn’t mean that I approve of the character’s actions.

I don’t believe the much-debated newlyweds scene was rape. I do think that they were playing each other and that they took it too far. 

The good news for Keen2 shippers is that this has been (and continues to be) a journey, and that the low points are not the end. I think the writers needed to show how unhealthy their relationship truly was before the truth came out. They were both selfish in many ways, but that relationship that we saw fall so hard shattered, and from it the writers kept those pieces that did work, starting to build something new that had a steady foundation of honesty and respect and trust. 

Nextgen chats
  • James Sirius: "Just go away until you have something useful to say. You're like annoying first years."
  • Hugo: "Please, would you just listen to us - "
  • Lily Luna: "I swear to Merlin we saw it with our own two eyes!"
  • Louis: "Well technically we each saw it with our own two eyes or you could have just said we saw it with our own eyes..."
  • Hugo: "Well if you're going to get all '<i>technical </i>' on us you can go sit with Frank and the hater team."
  • James: "Would you three just piss off right now? If you hadn't noticed I'm actually trying to do right by my future and study this Transfiguration shite so that McGonagall will get an inch out of my ass!"
  • Lily: "Always knew you had a thing for McGonagall. James, listen to us we saw something horrible!"
  • Louis: "Why don't we just cut to the chase? You're not making a very enthralling point..."
  • Hugo: "Louis the ruiner. You're not invited to Hogsmead anymore. How's that for enthralling?"
  • *Lily sighs and shakes her head.*
  • Lily: "We saw Malfoy and Rosie kissing by the kitchen entrance and he was lifting her skirt up!"
  • Hugo: "I've been trying to tell Mum and Dad but they didn't believe me!"
  • Louis: "From what I could tell, they were trying to keep hidden."
  • Hugo: "What are you? Sherlock? Of course they're trying to keep it hidden!"
  • James: "Piss off!"
  • Lily: "What? Don't you care?"
  • James: "Look Lils, I don't know what Malfoy has done to you but you don't have to drag Rosie into it. Our Rose would never ever go there so I don't think you even know what you saw."
  • Molly: "What did I miss?"
  • James: "These idiots think they saw Rose snogging Malfoy."
  • *All three gape at Molly*
  • *Molly laughs*
  • Molly: "You three really want him out of the game this weekend. You do realise that by trying to get James on him will mean losing James as well and therefore our biggest weapon?"
  • Hugo: "Mol, please, I saw them kissing I swear!"
  • Louis: "They looked like they were in a similar situation that I see Vick and Teddy in all the time."
  • Molly: "Look, here's Roxy - Rox! These three think they saw Rose and Scorpius snogging!"
  • James: "And you are all going to make me fail Transfiguration which means I'll have no back up plan when I retire from Quidditch when I'm 30!"
  • Roxanne: "Can't have been; Lorcan and I just finished taking Scorp's new broom for a spin."
  • Hugo: "And was he with you?"
  • Roxanne: "No, he was in the library."
  • *Rose and Scorpius walk in*
  • Rose: "Family reunion? Oh sorry Malfoy, guess you  better go back to your own Common Room."
  • Hugo: "YOU! WE CAUGHT YOOOOU SNOGGING MY SISTER!"
  • Rose: "What? That's preposterous!"
  • Scorpius: "Yes! Absurd! Weasley, what have you been telling your family?!"
  • Molly: "I knew you wouldn't go there with him. You're just friends."
  • Roxanne: "Come on guys; Lils, just because you're pissed that Rose got you in trouble with your Mum and Dad?"
  • Rose: "I. Didn't. Snog. Him."
  • Scorpius: "Yeah. We're barely even friends. We're anti-friends. Negative friends. She's a  purple-panty-wearing weirdo who hangs out by the kitchen!"
  • Rose: ...
  • Rose: "Shut UP Scorp!"
5SOS Preference #18: Trust
  • Luke Hemmings: "Don't, please." I say quietly, moving away from Luke. Our hands slide away from each other. "Don't what, (Y/N)?" He asks gently and caring, moving towards me again. He looks at me with a confused expression. "No, Luke. Stop." I say, tears brimming my eyes. He stops a few inches in front of me. "What's wrong?" He asks, his voice concern and shaky. My heart aches. "You're leading me on." I say quietly before biting my lip. I can't stop thinking about all his thoughtful, kind and gentle gestures towards me. He walks me to class, talks to me, tries to hold my hand and sits by me at lunch. I can't help but think that he's doing this to hurt me. He looks at me with sad eyes. "You're leading me on, Luke, and once I'll fallen hard for you, you're gonna be like every other boy and leave." He shakes his head silently. "You really think I would do that to you?" Luke asks slowly and quietly, his eyebrows furrowed like he can't believe I just said that. I wipe my eyes while staring at the ground. "I have no intention to do that to you, (Y/N). None." He exaggerates the "no". "Luke, you and I know-" "I'm not like every other boy. I don't 'play' with girls hearts because I actually care." I watch him speak, in awe. "I care about how girls feel," Luke continues, "I care about not hurting their hearts. I care about their happiness. And most of all, I care about you (Y/N), a lot more than I intended to." Tears keep springing out of my eyes. He walks up to me and wipes my tears away with his thumb. "I like you, (Y/N)." Luke whispers while looking into my eyes. "And I would never leave you." I bite my bottom lip as he placed a piece of hair behind my ear. "I'm not used to this, Luke," I whisper, shaking my head lightly while looking into his eyes. "No one's ever showed affection towards me before." He gives me a small smile. "I'll catch you when you fall, (Y/N). All I need you to do is to trust me."
  • Calum Hood: "Where were you?" A familiar sleepy voice says behind me as I take off my heels. I jump a little and turn around. Calum stands in his boxers and a white shirt with his arms folded. "Calum," I say, placing my hand on my heart as if to help calm me down. "You can't scare me like-" "You didn't answer my question." He says, quietly. I sigh before walking towards him. "I was with the girls." I whisper before kissing his cheek and then walking towards the kitchen. "Why didn't you text or call to tell me?" He asks, following me. I open the fridge to grab a water bottle. "I-" "I was worried about you, (Y/N)," Calum interrupts me once again but his voice cracks. "I called you and texted you but you never answered. I thought something happened to you or...or..." He didn't finish his sentence, he just stares at the ground. "Or what, Cal?" I ask, trying to get it out of him. He sighs. "Are y-you lying to me?" He asks with eyes watery. I shake my head slightly before setting down my water bottle. I walk up to him with concerned eyes. "Calum, what's wrong?" I ask worriedly. We're centimeters apart. He shakes his head before wiping his eyes. "It's just...you've been out a lot lately and I...I can't help but think that you're being unfaithful to me." Calum says slowly and my heart drops. "What?" I whisper but he just bites his lip. Tears well up in my eyes and I swallow. "I would never, Calum. I can't believe you'd even think that of me." He opens his mouth to speak but I talk. "I only have eyes for you and only you. Why don't you trust me?" He pulls at his hair. "I do (Y/N). I really do but I couldn't help but feel that way. You're always saying that you're working late and it just doesn't sound right-" Calum stops rambling once I cup his cheeks with my hands. "I only have eyes for you, babe and only you." I whisper slowly while wiping away his tears with my thumbs. He places his hand on my wrists gently. "I don't want you to leave me." He croaks out. "I'd never, Cal. Please, trust me."
  • Ashton Irwin: "Babe?" I call out from the kitchen. "Sweetheart?" Ashton calls back from the living room, probably watching Cake Boss. "Where'd my leftovers go?" I ask while pulling the orange juice out to see if it's behind it. "Uh I umm I don't k-know." He stutters back. I sigh and laugh a little. "You didn't, by any chance, eat them did you babe?" I ask while shutting the refrigerator's door. "I have no clue what you're talking about." He says as I walk into the living room. He sits on the couch, his eyes glued to the TV. "Uh huh." I say with a smirk after stopping in front of him. "I'm being honest." Ashton says while staring up at me, trying to hide his smile. "You're such a terrible liar, Ash." I say, giggling. He finally smiles. "I was looking forward to eating that." I say. I put my hands on my hips on a serious manner. "Don't be mad, (Y/N)," He says before grabbing my hands slowly. "We can get a pizza if you'd like?" He pulls me towards him and I plop down on the couch next to him. I nod my head after I kissed his hand. "I'd like that." Ashton smiles and then give me a kiss. The force of his lips cause me to fall on my back onto the couch and he hovers over me now. I laugh into the kiss once his hand starts to tickle my side. He pulls away from my lips and stares down at me. I pant slightly due to the breathtaking kiss. "And to think that I trusted you." I tsk at him while playing with his curly locks. "I'm sorry, baby," He whispers before giving me a peck on the lips. "I'll try not to do that ever again." I snort a little and shake my head at him. "Try? How about you will, Irwin, or you'll have another thing coming." Ashton smiles down at me and then gives my forehead a kiss. "If it's bugging you this much," He says before spreading my legs with his feet, making his bottom half rest between my center. "Then why don't I make it up to you, baby girl?"
  • Michael Clifford: "Will you just let me drive, please?" Michael asks me angrily while gripping his hands on the wheel. "Michael that is not the right exit!" I shout as he almost drives the car into the wrong exit. "For Christ's sake, (Y/N)!" He turns into the next lane in a blink, cursing while doing so. Cars honk at us and I've never felt more embarrassed. "Do you want to drive?" Michael asks in a mean tone. But I sit there in silence. He sighs while running a hand through his hair. "It's the next exit." I say quietly. "Are you absolutely positive?" He asks while passing the slow car in front of us. I nod my head before resting it against the cold window. It's suddenly got really quiet, all except for his fingers guitaring against the steering wheel gently. After a few minutes, Michael finally breathes in before taking my hand in his. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, darling," He says before kissing the back of my hand gently. "I'm sorry that my jack ass self came out." I smile a little after he said that. "Why don't you listen to me or trust me on things, Mikey?" I ask. He breathes out. "I know I may not be the smartest person-" "Hey, that is not true." He interrupts me, giving my hand a squeeze. "My point is that, I know what I'm saying and I know that what I am doing most of the time, Michael. And I want you to believe in me and trust me at what I'm saying." He squeezes my hand again. "I do trust you and believe you, (Y/N). It's just, I don't know...I guess I just I wanted to be in and take charge." I bring his hand up to my lips and kiss it. "You're always in charge with me." I whisper with a smirk. He looks over to me with a cheeky smile and cheeks red. "True." He mumbles with a short shrug while turning his eyes back to the road. "Take a right, babe." I say. "Yes ma'am." Michael says with a nod before doing so. "What would you do without me?" I ask him with a laugh. He chuckles. "I have no clue and I plan on not living without you." My heart melts at his words. "You're such a goof."
Idiot

[A BJOO (Byungjoo) Scenario ft. Special Apperance by Hansol&Yano] - Requested by Anon~

[I DO NOT OWN THESE PICS]

[I’m sorry if it’s tooooooo long! I got carried away!] 

-

After finishing my assignment earlier than expected, I decided to go visit my boyfriend and his members who had a day off today. I needed to see Byungjoo and apologise about our stupid fight yesterday. He did try to call me this morning but I didn’t pick up because I was afraid that I might say something stupid and we’d argue again. So, better if I saw him in person.

Yesterday, I went over to his dorm to spend some time with him after his packed schedule. All of the members had went out for dinner except for Hansol, who wasn’t feeling too well at the time. So while Hansol rested in his room, Byungjoo and I huddled up on the couch with a blanket and enjoyed a movie together.

However, as we were sharing a few kisses and laughs, Hansol decided to wake up and get himself busy with some baking. Problem was, he didn’t know how to bake so he had nagged me for almost an hour to help him and I did, which made Byungjoo a little frustrated

And after that, we argued. About the exact same thing we argued about the time before that and the time before that. About me always getting too close to Hansol. Such stupid fights.

So, that brings me here - on my way to surprise my boyfriend at his dorm~

As I reached their door, I knocked twice and waited. Almost immediately, the door opened and there stood an overly excited Hansol. He jumped out and embraced me into a big hug before pulling me inside and shutting the door.

I looked around and noticed how deserted the place looked. 

‘Where’s everyone?’

'They went to grab some food or something,' he said as he walked towards the kitchen, 'And they didn’t even wake me up to go! I was getting lonely until you came.’

'I wouldn’t wake you up either,' I commented as I followed him, 'Too much sass.’

Upon hearing that, he immediately glared my way.

'Say that again,' he warned sassily and reached both his hands out to me, 'Go on, say it.’

I knew too well what he was going to do and I obviously wasn’t going to stand around for him to do so. 

'Ya Hansol, don’t you dare tickl- AHHHHH HANSOL!’

Before I could even finish my sentence, he was already in front of me with his hands attacking both my sides - tickling me. While yelling and laughing at the same time, I turned away and tried to escape but that plan failed when both his arms went around my waist to stop me. My back was pulled right against his chest as he continued to tickle me.

'YA-YA! K-KIM HAN… HANSOL! STOOOOOOP!’

I wanted to yell at him but with all the laughing, I just couldn’t get my mind straight. 

'What are you guys doing?’

We both immediately stopped what we were doing when we heard the familiar voice. Opening my eyes, I let my breathing calm itself before looking towards the front door. I wasn’t too surprised to find Byungjoo standing there, looking rather crossed than happy to see me.

He stood at the door with his eyes fixed on me and Hansol. It was only then that I noticed our position - Hansol’s arms wrapped around my waist and my back pressed against his chest.

Oh shit.

'You’re back,' says Hansol casually as he unwraps himself from me, 'Where are the others?’

'I forgot my phone,' replied Byungjoo as he stared at me, 'When did you come?’

'Just now.’

I was slightly uncomfortable with the way Byungjoo just stood there staring. I knew more than anyone that he was jealous right now. Just like all the other times Hansol and I joked around, he’d get all worked up about it.

'Well, now that you’re back, I’m going to go to the others,' said Hansol as he passed me, 'And you missy, better be nicer to me next time.’

And like that, he slipped on his shoes and left - leaving just me and an angry Byungjoo in an empty apartment.

He sighed loudly before heading over to the couch to sit down. I also followed and sat down beside him.

'Why didn’t you pick up my calls? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?’

'I wanted to surprise you,' I said quietly, 'But you weren’t home when I came so-’

'So, you and Hansol decided to get close? Again.’

'Joo, don’t be ridiculous,’ I sighed at him, 'He was just tickling me. We were just joking around.’

'He doesn’t need to back hug you to tickle you,' he said - his tone increasing, 'This isn’t even the first time I’ve seen something like that!’

'We’re good friends! We joke around,' I replied with a voice beaming of irritation, 'Why are you always like this to Hansol? Do you expect me like, not to go close to him at all?’

'Why am I like that to Hansol? If you were in my position and you came home to suddenly find your boyfriend, who was supposed to be doing their assignment, at your house, back hugging your best friend - what would you think?’

Frustrated with his words, I just stood up and sighed. We argued every time about this. How can he not trust me? Hansol and I have been friends for 10 years, and thanks to him that I even got to meet Byungjoo. 

I wanted to just sort things out with him and then spend the rest of our day together, but if we were just going to argue again, then I might as well leave.

'Fine,' I said, 'I won’t ever come back here, neither will I ever go anywhere Hansol goes - alright?’

Without another word, I made my way towards the door. Tears threatened to spill as I thought about the fact that my own boyfriend didn’t even trust me. Before I could slip into my shoes, I felt a hand suddenly grip itself around my wrist - causing me to stop.

'Where are you going?’

'I came here to sort things out with you and to spend time with you, but if this is what we’re going to be doing, again, then I rather go home.’

All of a sudden, I found myself pushed up against the door with an angry Byungjoo right in my face and his hand above my head. I took a second to glance at him and noticed how different he was from the usual lively Byungjoo.

'BYUNGJOO! GET OFF ME!’

Being pinned up against the door by him, along with his strong glare made me feel as though I was like a lion’s prey, waiting to be eaten alive. I felt my legs weaken themselves as I noticed him clenching his teeth together tight, causing veins to appear on his neck. My entire body shivered as I felt his hot, heavy breath brush against my lips.

'You can joke around with him yet you can’t even say two words with me? We fought about this yesterday and here you are doing the same thing!’

His tone of voice indicated to me how angry he was and trust me, this is the angriest he has ever gotten. It actually scared me to see my boyfriend like this.

'Why?' he shouted and punched the space beside my head, 'Answer me!’

I wanted to speak but words were just not forming. A clump had formed itself in my throat, causing it hard to even breathe. By now, tears had certainly fallen from my eyes as I looked at him - not even believing what kind of situation we were in right now.

His dark expression immediately changed into one full of pain and guilt once he noticed my tears. He took one slow step backwards and moved his hand up to touch my cheeks.

'J-jagi… are you crying?’

I pushed his hand off, only to have him come straight back with both his hands on my cheeks - cupping it with his soft hands.

'I… I’m so sorry… I don’t know what got into me…’

Stepping closer, he engulfed me into a hug. Feeling somewhat angry, I began to thrash my hands at him and tried to push him off of me but that only caused him to hug me tighter against him.

'I’m sorry jagi… hit me - scream at me but please listen to me,’ he softly begged in my ear, ’It’s just… you’ve known him for so long and only known me for two years, so I’m afraid… really afraid that-’

'You’re an idiot.’

'W-what?’

'The biggest idiot I know!’

He moved his head from my shoulder to look at me with such a confused expression. 

'You’re an idiot,’ I sniffled, 'Joo, I chose you - I’m your girlfriend. He’s my best friend and nothing more so I don’t understand why you’re always so insecure about that.’

'I know he’s my hyung, but I just can’t stand having him always jumping around you - acting all cute and touchy towards you,' he whispered as his thumb made contact with my cheeks - wiping away my tears, 'He should go get his own girlfriend for that because sometimes I just want to spend some time with you after a long day, but he’s always pulling you away.’

Everything became quiet as we looked into each other’s eyes lovingly. 

'I really hate myself for making you cry. I’ll make it up to you,’ he whispered as he pulled me closer, 'I’ll do anything.’

'Anything?' I asked playfully as I wrapped my arms around his neck, 'Why don’t you kiss me…’

Kiss.

'Again oppa~’

Kiss.

'One more time, oppa~’

Kiss.

'I’m sorry-’

'Shhh~' I cooed as I placed a finger over his lips, 'Why don’t you… show me that you’re sorry…’

I felt my eyes becoming restless as his soft lips made contact with my neck. I gasped loudly as he sucked extra hard on a particular sensitive spot that only he knew about.

'Ah… Joo…’

My eyes automatically shut themselves as I felt-

'YA ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO BE DONE ANYTIME SOON?! IT’S COLD OUT HERE!' yelled Hansol on the other side of the door

'Hyung shhhhhhh!' whispered Sangwon, 'Do you really want to go in there right now!? They’re like… in the middle of something!’

'My feet are cold. My hands are cold. My beautiful face is cold. I need to watch television. NOW.’

Giggling at the sassy Hansol, I began to retrieve my arms from around Byungjoo’s neck when he held them in place.

'What are you doing?’ I asked, confused

'I still haven’t made it up to you yet.’

'We can’t! They’re outside!’

He simply shrugged his shoulders before reaching down to bring me into his arms - bridal style.  

'And what? I need to spend some precious time with my beautiful princess and no one is going to stop me. Not even sassy Hansol.

And like that, he turned around and made his way towards his bedroom with me in his arms. With a smile on my lips, I leaned upwards to attack his lips.

'YA YA!’ yelled Hansol as he banged the door, 'Just great! They’re going to his bedroom. JUST GREAT! THEY’RE NOT GOING TO COME OUT FOR AGES! Where are we going to go now?!’

'Oh come on hyung,’ sighed Sangwon, 'I’ll shout you some food.’

 -

That turned out so long! I’m sorry dear anon~ I hope it’s somewhat like you requested for though! (Manly&Jealous Bjoo/ Fight/ Happy Ending)

Written by: C ~

"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."
Aus

baebot and me were throwing ideas around
‘I’m sorry I got really excited about that punch buggy I didn’t mean to hit you hard enough to bruise’ au

“I take singing in my car very seriously and I’m sorry to have distracted you at a four way stop serenading my rearview mirror. Please don’t sue me I have no insurance, we can just buff out that bumper au’

'I took to many self defence courses as a child and now my automatic response when someone grabs my arm is to throw them over my hip I’m so sorry. At least I took first aid too?’ Au

'You were staring at me all class and I’m pretty sure you didn’t take any notes want to borrow mine?’ Au

'You forgot your phone on the bus next to me and I texted your dad (he was in your recent contacts) to get it back to you. and for some reason he is now convinced we are living together? Apparently you left home and are lying where you are… Don’t worry I kept your secret. I don’t know how, but hey I’m actually looking for a roommate so hey au’

'You’re a colossal douche bag to everyone at school but I’ve seen you split your lunch with the small creatures around the school and you’re really nice to little kids and the elderly at your shitty part time job but it’s not like I’ve been watching you or anything I swear.’ au
‘Oh fuck shit! Your allergic to nuts?!?! I just wolfed down a whole bag in front of you. Please don’t die, I’ll drive you to the hospital. And pay your bills I don’t know but im at your service please don’t die shit’

'I wasn’t paying attention and almost walked in front of a train thanks for grabbing my sweater- wait aren’t you the guy/gal/etc who caught me when I fell off the ladder yesterday oh shit now I’m embarrassed I swear I’m not usually this much of a clutz’ au

’ I put posters around campus for an event but your the only one to show up so I guess we can split all this food?’
'Turns out we’re the into two in the school willing to admit we like xthing so that means we’re best friends now right?’ Au

’ I can’t believe you like that one lesser known thing too… But wait. No no no, you like that character? Hmm no I’m sorry we can’t be friends’ au
'I’m the most awkward person I know but you’re always around when I say something clever’ au

'You keep fucking talking during class- but your conversation is honestly more interesting than the lecture so eh’ au
'We keep ending up in the same classes and I swear it’s not on purpose. Wait what do you mean it might be?’ Au
’ I noticed you sketching during class and they are damn good wow.. Wait is that me???’ Au

'I’ve been following your blog since jr high but it still took me almost three months to figure out who you are and now I have to remind myself to use you’re actual name’ au

'This cat keeps visiting my house isn’t he cute? Oh wait this is your cat? 
It isn’t? Oh it’s their cat?! 
Damn, their cute. You agree? Hmm maybe we can negotiate a cat share.’ Au

'We’re in like three classes together and you suddenly stopped showing up for all of them are you okay? Yes I got your name from the prof and your cell number from the online site thing. What do you mean that’s creepy?’ Au

’ you look like you have an aesthetic blog. And what I mean is do you have an aesthetic blog? Because I want to follow it my god you are beautiful’ au

'We’re catching the same plane somewhere and it’s been delayed by like six hours want to get a hot drink with me?’ Au

’ we both have a crush on the cute barista. This is war. Orrr something more?’ Au

'Holy shit the person in this picture is beautiful. What do you mean that’s you?’ Au

’ ok so I just joined this class… I know! I know it’s three weeks to the final exam. Do you mind teaching me everything? I can pay!’

'My best friend hates you and i can’t figure out why. Care to explain?’ Au

'I’m on the bus. Your hair game is strong. Like too strong.. It’s stuck in my jacket zipper and my stop is coming up.’ Au

'I know we’ve been going to the same school for almost four years but I don’t actually remember ever seeing you before Au’

’ I’m single, pregnant, and grumpy. I’m sorry for ranting to you on the bus but you just seemed so sweet. And I’m really craving nibs and you have like an entire bag in your hand.’ Au

'We both reached for the same ridiculously rare book at the second hand shop at the same time but it’s mine and if you want it you’re going to have to move in with me’ au

Strawberry Kisses

So I have written this fic for billyiscoolerthanyou because she won my little contest from a while ago!

Her prompt was: Dan feels depressed and has an eating disorder and Phil finds out. (Ending will be cute) ———————————— One… two… three… four… Dan was counting the little leaves he plucked off the strawberries, one by one. It was a hypnotizing occupation, actually. The smell seemed more amazing than ever before. Five… six… seven… ‘Dan?’ Phil’s voice went through his whole body and full of shock he dropped the strawberry on the ground. Quickly he picked it upagain, but didn’t eat it. He hadn’t even heard Phil coming in. 'Phil, what’s up?’ 'Why have you been sitting here for twenty minutes, looking at that strawberry?’ 'Excuse me!? I have eaten them, too, weirdo.’ That was a lie, and he felt Phil knew.  'Then why are there no less strawberries on the plate?’ Phil spoke, pointing at the plate on their living room table. 'I bought more this morning and just put them on the plate, too. It looks so ugly when the plate’s only half full, that’s the reason.’ 'Oh, okay.’ Phil sighed. 'I’m unexpectedly going to eat in town with Louise now, do you feel like coming with us?’ 'Nah, sorry man, already got plans.’ 'With who?’ It was quiet for a moment. 'The internet, very romantic,’ Dan tried to joke it off. 'That’s stupid. You haven’t seen friends like Louise for so long! Well, anyway, if you feel like coming, we’re at the Cat Café.’ Phil went to leave but just before the door he stopped and turned around. 'Dan, please eat that freaking strawberry, you’ve been holding that for minutes now.’ And with that, he left. Dan didn’t eat the strawberry. —– Fuck, he’d lost count. Where was he? Eighty-five? He’d probably been doing this too long. He picked up the strawberries with their plucked leaves and wrapped them in some toilet paper and threw them in the garbage bin. The toilet paper was necessary, as otherwise Phil would find out he hadn’t eaten them but thrown them away. This is what he had done with most of his food for the last four months.  Now it was time to weigh himself. Phil was in town again with Louise, so he didn’t have to be too secretive. It was three days ago when they went to th Cat Café and Dan couldn’t help but feel a little put aside, even though it was mostly his own fault. He walked to the bathroom and opened the little cupboard in which the scale was placed. There was a toothbrush on it, which Dan shove aside. He then took out the scale, stepped on it and closed his eyes, waiting for it to show him how heavy he was. —– One hundred twenty. One fucking hundred twenty pounds. He hadn’t even lost that much weight. Disappointing, to say the least. He placed the scale back in the cupboard and went to his room. Just then he realized how much he hated other things counting him, measuring him, telling him what he was. He shove his curtains aside and starting looking outside. London. The weather represented quite well how he felt. Cloudy, grey, the sun trying to shine through but not succeeding. Sometimes thoughts of simply jumping out of the window wandered through his head. It wasn’t that he wanted to die, but he just didn’t see the joy in living anymore. Everything was fucked up. He looked awful these days. Fat, tired and sick. Often he felt guilty for not finding the motivation to upload more videos. And then there was Phil, who made things so much better and so much worse at the same time.  Hopelessly in love. That was all there really was to say. Phil was the first and last thing he’d think about everyday and the fact that Phil would often rather go out with friends than stay at home with Dan was hurting him. It was absolutely normal and realistic for Phil to do that, but still Dan often felt forgotten and less loved by Phil than before. The definition of that 'love’ was unclear to Dan. They were best friends, but sometimes Dan thought there was more. Their cuddles just lasted a little too long. But then again it may just be wishful thinking. —– Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine… twelve o'clock. Phil had said he’d be home by twelve. Dan couldn’t help but always wait for Phil to come home when he’d gone out. Not that he’d let Phil know, he’d do it secretely by simply staying awake in bed until he’d hear Phil enter their apartment. He just had to be sure Phil got home safely. Probably because Phil was the only thing in his life that could sometimes make him smile and actually feel good and he just had to be sure that his only source of gladness was sage. Pathetic, he thought of himself. Phil’s an adult, not a kid. Stop treating him like a baby. He isn’t a baby. He isn’t your baby. He isn’t yours. Just as he got lost in his own self-destructing thoughts again, as he’d do every night, he heard a door click. Then something fell on the floor. Now he was sure it was Phil, as Phil would always drop something on the floor when he came home. Some kind of undiscovered and useless talent. But Phil was home, and now he could sleep. —– Three knocks. Dan groaned. What the fuck? He had finally fallen asleep. Was this death to tell him his life was finally over? 'Dan?’ Suddenly Dan was completely awake. He looked at the clock and saw it was only one o'clock. 'Phil, what’s wrong?’ Dan sat up straight in his bed. 'You’re asking me!?’ He sounded angry. 'What the fuck? Phil, I haven’t done anything and it’s midnight! If you won’t explain then go away please.’ 'If only you gave me the time to explain!’ 'Can’t it wait till the fucking morning?’ 'No!’ Dan didn’t feel like yelling back again. Not at Phil. Phil was never angry, especially not with Dan, so this kinda scared him. 'Let’s talk in the living room, Phil.’ 'No, let’s do it here. Dan….’ Phil sighed. 'Why are you destructing yourself?’ Silence. Dan could count the seconds, but didn’t. More important things were happening. 'What are you even talking about!?’ 'Dan, I’ve seen for months you’re not well. But since this week it’s going downhill so fast…’ 'Excuse me!?’ Dan so didn’t feel like having this conversation. Phil shouldn’t and wouldn’t know. 'Dan… I- I’ve seen it. The scale. I mean, that you are trying to lose weight.’ 'That’s fucking bullshit!’ 'You moved the toothbrush. That I placed on it. So you have weighed yourself. A lot, actually. Don’t lie, I know.’ Dan was shocked. Stunned. Numb.  'Dan, I only want to-’ 'WHY do you interfere with my life!? Just keep your head out of my business Phil!! I can’t believe you!’ 'You’re skinny. I don’t want you to kill yourself.’ 'Please get out of my room. How dare you!’ 'Dan, please-’ 'I said get OUT. You clearly don’t give a fuck about my privacy or me-’ And that’s when Phil walked, almost ran from the door towards Dan and forced his lips on Dan’s. Rough, yet full of love. Angry, but so soft. Their lips slided against each other and the feeling warmed Dan up inside. Phil grabbed Dan’s neck and automatically Dan’s hand went to Phil’s back. They bit each other’s lips and grabbed each other harder to be closer. It was very wet and full of all the emotions they had both recently felt. Suddenly Dan felt tears rolling over his cheeks. Phil probably tasted the salt in their kisses, as he looked up to see Dan crying. 'Phil… I’m so confused.'  Phil hugged Dan, who placed his head in the crook of Phil’s shoulder. 'I understand, Dan. Fuck, why do you destroy yourself? You’re so precious. So amazing, so full of love and kindness.’ 'I don’t know, Phil, I don’t know.'  'You have weighed yourself more than fifty times. I counted.’ 'Please don’t count everything I do. Ever. Not anymore.’ 'I can’t promise that if you’re still doing that yourself.’ 'What do you mean?’ 'Dan, can’t you see? You are the only one measuring yourself, hating you. That’s because you measure everthing about you. Not because other people or other things do that.’ 'I can’t stop counting, Phil.’ 'Maybe not. But you can stop counting that. You should start counting other things.’ 'Like?’ Phil kissed him. 'Like how many kisses I will give you from now on each day.'  Dan smiled. 'Or how many times… I make you laugh!’ And with that Phil started tickling Dan’s tummy. 'PHIL! PHI- STOP!!’ Dan laughed and Phil stopped. 'Or… how many times I will tell you I love you?’ Phil spoke, with slight hesitation. 'Why was there a question mark?’ 'Because I wasn’t sure how you’d react…’ 'I love you, Phil.’ 'I love you too, Dan.’ They both smiled. —– 'Phil?’ 'Yeah?’ It was twenty minutes later. They’d just been sitting on Dan’s bed, talking calmly and sometimes share little kisses. 'Will you stay here with me? Tonight? Just to- sleep?’ 'Yes, under one condition…’ 'Which is?’ 'Wait here.’ Phil stood up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom. A minute later he came back with a strawberry.  'Eat this and then I’ll stay here for the night.’ Dan hesitated. 'For me?’ Phil added. Dan smiled. 'Okay…’ Phil handed him the strawberry, which he ate, while still smiling. 'Tastes good.’ Phil snuck in the bed besides Dan and pulled the blankets over the both of them. 'We’ll get through this, Dan, together. I love you.’ 'Seven.’ 'What?’ 'You said you loved me seven times today. I counted’
Homura babysitting, part one.
  • Mami: I know this is sudden but I need you to watch the kids for me.
  • Homura: ...How did you find out where I live?
  • Mami: That's not important but if you're not busy I'd like you to watch the kids while Sakura and I take care of some business.
  • Homura: Yeah, like hell I'm babysitting some-....
  • Homura: ...Wait.
  • Homura: Wait hang on, WHAT kids?
  • Nagisa: Hi lady!
  • Homura: Oh, her? Yeah, that shouldn't be too much of a prob-
  • Kyouko: Yo! Sorry I'm late but I brought the rest!
  • Homura: WAIT HOW MANY KIDS ARE YOU DUMPING ON ME HERE?
  • Yuma: Hello!
  • Homura: ...Wait, I've seen you before right?
  • Momo: Good afternoon miss.
  • Homura: ...Who's this?
  • Kyouko: This is my little sister. Introduce yourself properly Momo.
  • Momo: My name is Momo Sakura, miss.
  • Homura: Momo...? I thought...
  • Kyouko: You thought what?
  • Homura: But-... Didn't Momo, you know...?
  • Kyouko: We don't talk about that.
  • Homura: I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be dea-
  • Kyouko: ((Grabs Homura by the collar))
  • Kyouko: WE
  • Kyouko: DO NOT
  • Kyouko: TALK ABOUT THAT. UNDERSTAND?
  • Homura: Y-Yeah, I understand.
  • Kyouko: So, just watch over the kids until we get back alright?
  • Homura: Hey, how long are you two going to be?
  • Mami: Nagisa, make sure to listen to what big-sister Homura tells you okay?
  • Nagisa: Okay!
  • Homura: So you're just going to ignore me huh?
  • Kyouko: Oh yeah, and if anything happens to them while we're gone...
  • Kyouko: ((Cracks her knuckles))
  • Kyouko: I'm going to be really UPSET, you get me?
  • Homura: ....Yeah, I get you.
  • Mami: Ah, one more thing Akemi.
  • Homura: Yes?
  • Mami: You know that Kyouko will kill you if anything happens to Momo or Yuma right?
  • Homura: Yeah...?
  • Mami: She will literally kill you. I'm not exaggerating when I say that you will actually be murdered and you will seriously die.
  • Homura: YEAH, I GET IT!
  • Mami: Well, I just want you to know that I'm not like that.
  • Mami: ((Places her hand on Homura's shoulder))
  • Mami: If anything should happen to Nagisa I won't kill you...
  • Mami: ((Grips Homura's shoulder really hard))
  • Mami: I will just you WISH you were dead instead. Understand~?
  • Homura: Y-YES MA'AM I UNDERSTAND!
  • Mami: Good~!
  • Mami: ((Lets go of Homura's shoulder))
  • Mami: Well then, let's get going Sakura.
  • Kyouko: Right behind ya.
  • Homura: What have I gotten myself into...
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: So. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
  • Nagisa: Let's play something! You wanna play hide and seek?
  • Homura: To be honest that sounds like a real hassl-
  • Nagisa: YOU'RE IT HOMURA! Count to 30 and try find us!
  • Kids: ((Scatter with the sort of military precision usually reserved for highly trained guerrilla troops))
  • Homura: God damn it...
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Madoka: Ah.
  • Sayaka: What's up?
  • Madoka: Suddenly I really hate hide and seek.
  • Sayaka: Oh.... kay?
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: 28... 29... 30. Okay you little brats, here I come or whatever.
  • Homura: Let's see... I'll check the kitchen first.
  • Homura: ....Why is everything in the fridge on the floor?
  • Homura: OI, ARE YOU HIDING IN THE GODDAMN FRIDGE?
  • Nagisa: ....Noooooooooo?
  • Homura: .......
  • Homura: ..............Come out of there Nagisa.
  • Nagisa: Um, I can't.
  • Homura: Why not?
  • Nagisa: I dunno, I'm stuck! The fridge won't open!
  • Homura: Son of a...
  • Nagisa: Let m out Homura, it's cold!
  • Homura: Nah, I'm going to leave you in there for a while. That's what you get for being so stupid anyway.
  • Nagisa: YOU'RE SO MEAN!
  • Homura: Yeah, so what? What are YOU going to do about it?
  • Homura: ...Is someone shining a laser pointer at me? Alright, which one of you brats is-
  • Mami: ((Standing outside the kitchen window with a high powered sniper rifle))
  • Homura: ......
  • Mami: ......
  • Homura: ....... I thought you said you wouldn't kill me?
  • Mami: You won't die from this.
  • Homura: ......
  • Mami: .......
  • Homura: ......Yeah okay I'll let Nagisa out of the fridge.
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: Is she just going to stalk me all day? I thought she was busy or something.
  • Nagisa: I can't believe you don't have any cheese in your fridge.
  • Homura: I can't believe you LOCKED YOURSELF IN A FRIDGE.
  • Nagisa: Rude.
  • Homura: You know where your friends are hiding?
  • Nagisa: Nope.
  • Homura: Damn.
  • Nagisa: Can I have some cheese?
  • Homura: You know I don't have cheese. You said so yourself.
  • Nagisa: ....So can I have some cheese?
  • Homura: I just you I don't HAVE any cheese!
  • Nagisa: I don't care if you have it or not, I want some cheese!
  • Homura: IF I DON'T HAVE ANY CHEESE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE IT TO YOU?!
  • Nagisa: CHEESE! CHEEEEEESSSEEE!
  • Homura: GOD! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT FINE! Help me find the other little shits and I'll get you some damn cheese afterwards okay?!
  • Nagisa: Hooray!
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: Yuma. What are you doing?
  • Yuma: .....
  • Homura: I know you're in there.
  • Yuma: .....
  • Homura: Yuma you don't even fit in that I can clearly see you.
  • Yuma: .....
  • Homura: LOOK, YOU CAN'T JUST PRETEND I HAVEN'T FOUND YOU AND THEN EXPECT IT TO WORK!
  • Homura: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HIDING IN THE TRASH CAN ANYWAY?!
  • Yuma: My mama always said I was a useless piece of trash.
  • Homura: .........
  • Homura: Um.
  • Homura: Well.... you're not. So get out of there.
  • Yuma: I think I'm stuck.
  • Homura: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS?! HOW DO YOU KEEP GETTING INTO PLACES YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF?!
  • Homura: IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE, IF YOU GOT IN THEN SURELY YOU THINK YOU COULD GET OUT!
  • Yuma: It smells in here.
  • Homura: IT'S A TRASH CAN WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!
  • Yuma: It's really cramped.
  • Homura: I hate you. I hate you so much kid.
  • Yuma: That's okay. My mama hates me too.
  • Homura: .......
  • Homura: Look, don't try to guilt me or anything alright? It's annoying and it won't work.
  • Yuma: I'm hungry.
  • Nagisa: I'm hungry too, I want some cheese.
  • Homura: WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT THE CHEESE?!
  • Nagisa: Um...
  • Homura: ((Mentally screaming))
  • Yuma: I'm stuck.
  • Homura: YES. I KNOW. GOD. GOD DAMN IT.
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Madoka: Ah.
  • Sayaka: What is it now Madoka?
  • Madoka: Little kids.... shouldn't play in trash cans.
  • Sayaka: Um, duh?
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: Okay, can you lift your arms? I'm going to pull you out.
  • Homura: Ready? One... two... THREE!
  • Yuma: OW OW OW!
  • Homura: Deal with it, I'm going to pull again.
  • Yuma: NO! I DON'T WANT TO, IT HURTS!
  • Homura: Listen you little shit, I don't care if it hurts or not because this is the only way you're getting out of there. Now gimme your arms again!
  • Yuma: AH! HELP! HELP!
  • Kyouko: ((Kicks through the wall)) WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!
  • Kyouko: HOMURA AKEMI ARE YOU TRYING TO SHOVE YUMA INTO A TRASH CAN?
  • Homura: What? NO! I'm trying to get her out!
  • Yuma: Kyouko! It's cramped and it smells in here!
  • Homura: Wait, I can explain everythOOF
  • Kyouko: ((Slugs Homura in the face))
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: I hate you.
  • Yuma: It's not my fault.
  • Homura: YES. YES IT IS.
  • Nagisa: I want cheese.
  • Homura: SERIOUSLY CAN YOU NOT GO FOR LIKE, FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT ASKING FOR CHEESE?!
  • Yuma: I want chocolate!
  • Homura: ALL OF YOU ZIP IT AND HELP ME FIND MOMO
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: Momo? Are you in here? This is my room you know so you better not be in here!
  • Homura: If you come out now I won't be angry but if I have to look for you and find you then I will be very, very upset. MOMO!
  • Yuma: Check the closet.
  • Nagisa: Mami said that Kyouko is stuck in the closet all the time so maybe Momo is in there too!
  • Homura: I-.... wow, okay.
  • Homura: ((Opens the closet))
  • Homura: Nope, not here.
  • Nagisa: Let's check under the bed!
  • Yuma: Yeah, my daddy hides all sorts of things under his bed!
  • Homura: Please do not tell me what sort of things are under your dad's bed.
  • Yuma: Lots of magazines of naked girls.
  • Homura: WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME AFTER I JUST ASKED YOU NOT TO?!
  • Homura: ((Sighs))
  • Homura: Alright, let's check under the bed....
  • Momo: ((Reading something under the bed))
  • Momo: Oh, hi!
  • Homura: Alright kids, game over. Get out from under there.
  • Momo: ((Crawls out))
  • Homura: Hey, what's that you're holding?
  • Momo: It's a comic I found under your bed!
  • Homura: Under my... NO DON'T LOOK AT THAT!
  • Momo: Hey! Hey! What are these two ladies doing?
  • Homura: UH- UM...
  • Yuma: Daddy has these sorts of things under his bed too!
  • Momo: Wow, really?
  • Homura: THAT'S A LIE! What your dad has is just porn but THIS is completely different! This is uh, this is clearly much more deep and meaningful than that. In actual fact, you could even say that it's like art or-
  • Nagisa: Doesn't the ladies in this book look a lot like you and Madoka?
  • Homura: -must judge a work by more than the sum of it's individual components because asdfdgfhgjkhlhjhfgdgsfasgdhgj TTTHAAAAATTTT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE!
  • Momo: Some of these pages are sticky.
  • Homura: DON'T TOUCH MY PORN MOMO
  • Kyouko: ((Slams down through the ceiling))
  • Kyouko: WHO IS THE SICK PERVERT GIVING MY LITTLE SISTER PPPPPOOOOOOORRRRRRRRNNNNNNN?!
  • Homura: ((Already mid-way climbing out the window))
  • Kyouko: ((Pulls Homura back in))
  • Kyouko: I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU THIS TIME AKEMI, YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE!
  • Nagisa: Oh look, there's more magazines over here.
  • Kyouko: SAY YOUR PRAYERS BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!
  • Momo: Oh look, there's some about big-sis and her blue haired friend!
  • Kyouko: .......
  • Kyouko: Confiscated ((snatches doujin out of Momo's hands))
  • Momo: Aw, don't be mean!
  • Kyouko: I'll let you live THIS time Akemi! But if you screw up again you're dead mean, you're toast!
  • Kyouko: ((Breaks a window and jumps out))
  • Homura: COULD YOU AT LEAST COME AND GO WITHOUT CAUSING PROPERTY DAMAGE?!
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Nagisa: Homura! What should we play next?
  • Homura: Go play something by yourselves you three, I'm completely tired.
  • Nagisa: Okay!
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Nagisa: How could you do this to me?! How could you do this to US?!
  • Yuma: Baby please, a girl has needs and you're just not meeting them!
  • Momo: Sorry lady, your just a girl but Yuma needs a real woman to satisfy her.
  • Homura: Okay, what?
  • Homura: Hold it, hold up. What are you three doing?
  • Momo: We're playing house!
  • Homura: I-...
  • Homura: WHAT SORT OF HOUSE IS THIS?!
  • Yuma: My house.
  • Homura: ...Ouch.
  • Homura: Wow. Not okay, that is NOT cool.
  • Homura: Can't you play house normally? That's not how I remember how house was played when was little.
  • Nagisa: Oh! Oh! I know exactly what you mean Homura!
  • Nagisa: Okay, so I'll just lie down here... And Yuma, can you stand over me like- yeah, like that.
  • Nagisa: Okay, now put your arms out Yuma.
  • Yuma: Like this?
  • Nagisa: No, towards me. Yeah, that's it.
  • Nagisa: ((Grabs Yuma's arms))
  • Nagisa: IT'S AIYO!
  • Homura: ASDSFGDHFJ
  • Homura: NAGISA MOMOE, DO NOT!
  • Nagisa: .....Throw souls?
  • Homura: THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT, OKAY?
  • Momo: Oh, I think I know what she means!
  • Momo: Since you're already lying down Nagisa I'll just get on top of you like this and-
  • Homura: What are you doing?
  • Momo: We're playing house like in your comics Homura!
  • Yuma: Hot.
  • Homura: No. No. Do not re-enact my MadoHomu doujins please. That's just weird and wrong.
  • Kyouko: ((Bursts through house on a bulldozer)) MOOOOMMMOOOOO!
  • Mami: ((Rips off the entire roof of Homura's house with a blimp and rappels down)) NAAAGGGGIIISSSAAAA!
  • Homura: OH COME ON, REALLY!?
  • Mami: HOMURA AKEMI, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS LEWDNESS?!
  • Kyouko: FORCING LITTLE KIDS TO ACT OUT YOUR SICK TWISTED SEX FANTASIES IS COMPLETELY WRONG YOU PERVERt!
  • Homura: I DIDN'T EVEN WANT THEM TOO! THEY DID IT BY THEMSELVES! I WANT THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY'RE DOING, I WANT THEM TO STOP!
  • Mami and Kyouko: TIRO LANCIA!
  • Homura: USING BATTLE PENTAGRAM SPECIALS IS AGAINST THE RULES!
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Homura: Well. There goes my house. And the neighbour's house. And actually, this entire block. And like, half of the next block over.
  • Nagisa: I'm hungry, can I have some cheese?
  • Homura: SERIOUSLY, DO YOU EVER SHUT UP ABOUT CHEESE?! DAMN YOU AND YOUR GOD DAMNED CHEESE!
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Madoka: Suddenly I really hate cheese.
SENTENCE MEME ~ SAINTS ROW IV VERSION
  • "Your file has been most interesting to read, ____."
  • "You tell anyone about that and I will rip every last resistor off your circuit board with my teeth."
  • "We're tight. We go way back."
  • "Oh. Wasn't worried..."
  • I don't wanna come off as a gushing fanatic but I've really enjoyed your work."
  • "Oh are you an actor!? I'm talking about how well you handle a gun, it's very impressive."
  • "I read your book when it came out."
  • "You teach diplomacy, I get called in when diplomacy fails."
  • "I just need to feel a familial connection, ya'know?"
  • "___ says I'm not really allowed to say that word anymore."
  • "Really!? What did you think?"
  • "I'd rather relive those days than drink another one."
  • "I hope you're not offended, but I'm not really familiar with your career."
  • "I hear you're also an actor."
  • "The great thing about you not knowing much about me is I can tell you bullshit like that."
  • "So all these years later has your opinion of me changed?"
  • "I'd rather not state the names if it's worth the same to you."
  • "That is a nice exterior you have."
  • "Alright, but make it quick."
  • "Permission to speak freely, ___?"
  • "I have come to a singular conclusion. You scare me..."
  • "In hindsight, do you see that as a wise decision?"
  • "I'll have you know everything we use is 100% designed and made in the U.S.A."
  • "You honestly can't believe that can you?"
  • "Yeah! Just like- Damn!"
  • "Why is that so hard to believe?"
  • "You make a very compelling point."
  • "Good, you're learning,"
  • "What? Me? No, I'm sure of thinking of somebody else."
  • "_____ and I had a long standing business arrangement."
  • "I don't believe you."
  • "I never understood why men with your natural martial talent never joined the special forces."
  • "What's it like being part if that?"
  • "Thank you for pointing that out."
  • "I can't really be there if I'm already there. You know what I mean?""
  • "Are you high?"
  • "Heard you kidnapped me or something."
  • "That was business."
  • "And what about seducing me and make me serve your every little fantasy?"
  • "Never really thought I'd be seeing you like this again."
  • "Hey, aggressive and vengeful is fun. Though I think that's the part you didn't catch on to."
  • "Uh, sometimes you have to spell it out for me."
  • "You ever take anything seriously?"
  • "I still don't believe you're real, you know."
  • "OK, now you're projecting here."
  • "Well you're a... Wait, what?"
  • "Hey, I just call it as I see it."
  • "Well, let me give you a tip. There is no even."
  • "I believe that you did that all on your own, little [GENDER]."
  • "What have you ever accomplished?"
  • "I was a big fan of yours."
  • "I learned so much from you."
  • "No, man. I learned so much about the real world. You know, the real world. With the people with no faces and messages on everything."
  • "Baby Jesus, you folks are freaks."
  • So, you got anything good on you?"
  • "I tried to kill you and you're hitting me up for ____?"
  • "Sounds perfect to me."
  • "Bet it was a good read."
  • "The list of people killed by you was the longest I'd seen in my entire career."
  • "Shit seemed so much simpler in the old days, didn't it _____?"
  • "What's so funny?"
  • "Not if you wanna keep breathing."
  • "It's like someone is intentionally trying to put us together to see what'll happen. Fucking fan-fiction."
  • "So, how many times?"
  • "I dunno fifty is pretty impressive."
  • "Despite everything I've done with my life, apparently that's what I'm known for."
  • "Well, you're in impressive company."
  • "Me? No, God no, of course not... not that I didn't consider it, once or twice."
  • "Why does everyone keep saying that?"
  • "Guess we both fucked up."
  • "Yeah, we were a pair, you and me."
  • "It is fucked up that we can talk right now."
  • "Looks like we were both too blind for our own good."
  • "Tried to blow 'em up on a boat."
  • "What? No, nothing like... ha, well I'll be damned."
  • "A-ahm. Then, how are you here?"
  • "I can't get over how much different you are from your other you."
  • "I guess you and me have a lot in common after all."
  • "How about that sport's team?"
  • "Hell, if someone wrote that in a book there isn't anyone in the world who'd read that shit."
  • "Why you gotta be a dream killer, man?"
  • "That chick told me something pretty interesting."
  • "She says a lot of crazy shit."
  • "I did mess you up pretty bad."
  • "I already won once. I don't need to do it again."
  • "How you holding up? Things getting too crazy for you?"
  • "Did I ever tell you about the time I choked a man to death with my bare hands?"
  • "I can still feel his pulse, beating against the palms of my hand, getting slower and softer, until nothing."
  • "Oh, where have you heard that?"
  • "From the last fantasy game I saw online."
  • "So, you were some big hotshot gangster?"
  • "Did it piss you off to find out she faked her death just to get out of her contract?"
  • "Hurts like a bitch when it's gonna rain."
  • "Watch yourself old man."
  • "Don't get mad at me for telling the truth."
  • "It's amazing the lives I've changed just telling my story."
  • "If I got even one kid off the street it was all worth it."
  • "This was not the downer I was looking for."
  • "Yeah, I had to give that up at some point."
  • "Cause I am totally family material."
  • "I'm not getting anywhere with this argument, am I?"
  • "Are you sure you do not want to go out with me sometime?"
  • "It is just that I have been alone for so long and you and I have so much in common."
  • "I gotta be honest, I don't see any real similarity."
  • "Thanks for rescuing me."
  • "It was on the way!"
  • "Why a whiny brat like him?"
  • "But he's so fucking annoying."
  • "Are you jealous that I did not approach you with the offer?"
  • "Wait, you haven't told anybody, have you?"
  • "Do you want me to tell everyone about what you kept in that locked drawer in your desk?"
  • "You set an example for a lot of men who were questioning their own fashion choices and maybe even who they were inside."
  • "Hold on. By repopulate you mean?"
  • "So, I hear you're really good with computers and stuff."
  • "I guess being taken hostage really changes you."
  • "He ended getting killed when he tattooed the number for the police department's tip hotline to the back of his hand."
  • "Why do humans see the need to permanently mark their body with ink?"
  • "Why do robots see the need to ask such stupid pointless questions?"
  • "You simply don't get it, you had no chance, ever."
  • "You heard about that psychotic witchdoctor before me?"
  • "Kind of a cliché answer."
  • "Kind of a cliché conversation."
  • "Good point. I'll be quiet now."
  • "You know, I had a best friend named ____ once."
  • "I hope for your sake that's a compliment."
  • "How are you enjoying the field work?"
  • "Mastermind is more my speed."
  • "An allure? Is it spy-code for dirt, blood, fire, nausea and the insufferable blatherings of monosyllabic enemies that all look alike?"
  • "I imagine they have already seen themself naked."
  • "What are you doing after this? Maybe see where things go?"
  • "You're not nearly the psychopathic killing machine I was led to believe."
  • "You and I share that."
  • "Oh God! You're one of those."
  • "A thug? Are you saying that I am just a thug?"
  • "You really wanna shut your mouth now, son."
  • "I admit I feel the most direct kinship with you."
  • "We're outcasts, you and I. Strangers even amongst peers."
  • "This is... probably a strange time to mention it, but you were one of the best bad guys."
  • "I even had one of your action figures."
  • "Who would have thought, eh? You and me fighting side by side."
  • "Your brawn and my brains, your sass and my good looks, we're like a buddy cop show."
  • "There's no way you could have known that information, my cover was flawless."
  • "Well, that's quite a theory you have there."
  • "You know, I was like you once, I thought I could take down ____ and carry on with business as usual."
  • "You know, that wouldn't have been a bad idea."
  • "It's nice to get to talk to you on a more personal level."
  • "On second thought, I have enough friends."
  • "You almost remind me of my former assistants."
  • "Well, they actually had a measure of intelligence"
  • "Hey, if you ever get back into the whole criminal thing again, I can totally get you the hookup for good product."
  • "You don't employ any crazy dudes with Machetes do you?"
  • "Do I make you uncomfortable? If so, I apologize."
  • "You are always backing away from me and giving sideways glances as if I am contagious."
  • "So you're the playa's right-hand man. How's that working out for you?"
  • "Sorry man, but you gotta let that shit go."
  • "Oh that's funny. Coming from the people who scarred my face."
  • "I'm not looking to make friends here."
  • "That about sums it up. Yeah."
  • "You think you've gone crazy, don't you?"
  • "You know, I'm a pretty popular singer now."
  • "I was thinking we can hang some time. I let you hear some of my tracks."
  • "I have been watching footage of your old fighting matches."
  • "Funny how two completely different worlds can create things that are so similar."
  • "I am sure it was completely coincidental. You will be hearing from my attorneys."
  • "It's nice to see a celebrity who can handle a gun, seems most of them can barely land a punch."
  • "I hear you brother, no shit."
  • "Guy who played you sounds nothing like you though."
  • "____ is more powerful than you can imagine."
  • "Are you saying I don't have personality?"
  • "Cool it, ___. I'm just fucking with you."
  • "Oh no! Don't even speak to me. You don't get that right."
  • "Open your mouth again and you'll be singing falsetto permanently."
  • "I know. Man, those were good times."
  • "I thought I listened to you die. I thought that if we'd only gone back for you we could've stopped it."
  • "I'm right here, I didn't die and besides, that wouldn't have been on you."
  • "I'd say sorry about ____, but that bitch nearly ran me over with her car."
  • "You know, we took on a whole gang of maniacal wrestlers in masks years ago."
  • "Oh, well. He's dead now."
  • "Ahh, it takes a strong soul to stand up to ____. Huh, you seem to me more than your hooker getup suggests."
  • "But you do look completely like a hooker."
  • "You are a terrible mistress and should be ashamed."
  • "Oh! Ah, terribly sorry. It's just, well, look at you."
  • "I like your shoes."
  • "Yeah, they're pretty nice, I guess."
  • "The skirt, looks good on you."
  • "Ya got anything to eat? I'm starving."
  • "I'm just saying I'm willing to forgive and forget if you are honey."
  • "You ain't getting close enough to shank me."
  • "This whole invasion thing has fucked up everything. You know?"
  • "You step out of line just once and I'll find an even bigger building to drop your ass from."
  • "Just how much of your body is tattooed?"
  • "Any chance you might be looking for a good time?"
  • "Streets are so noisy, I figure we could go some place more quiet. Maybe my place at nine. You bring the wine, I'll bring... my questions."
  • "Two glasses of that and I just can't control myself."
  • "Man, I loved you as a bad guy back in the day."
  • "Then you became a good guy and I was like what the hell."
  • "God! I don't know why the ____ calls in you people for help. I mean what the hell."
  • "Look, just because I was on the opposing side doesn't mean I'm some lesser being."
  • "I was a member of a voodoo gang. Thank you very much."
  • "So can you play music or anything useful?"
  • "Yes, I have quite a large library of music from your world."
  • "I thought you were some kind of servant robot, so come on play something."
  • "Is there any way I can get an autograph some time?"
  • "Personally I hate hippy bullshit."
  • "You, woah, this is trippy. I can't believe I'm hanging out with the guy from that Ghost Busting movie."
  • "You're like an empire god, you know all the tricks. I learned a lot. That's how I built a legion of loyal followers."
  • "You know someone who deals in tiny plastic toy ponies?"
  • "What the hell. This is bullshit, man."
  • "It's just, you know, it's a skirt. Not exactly the manliest outfit, especially for taking alien hordes in crime ridden city."
  • "Just because we're not in the ring doesn't mean I won't lay your ass out."
  • "You know what I wear under my kilt? Your girlfriend's lipstick."
  • "I gotta say ____ you're looking really good."
  • "Come on, if we're gonna work together you have to get over..."
  • "Nice. Something about power makes a woman really sexy."
  • "You know maybe after we're done here you and me should talk some more."
  • "I suppose ____ told you about the time I tried to get her take a bullet for me."
  • "Ehh. I've had guys do worse."
I will love you, unconditionally - Katy Perry
  • Neal: I got you a keychain. You like it?
  • Emma: Yeah!
  • Emma: So, Tallahassee it is?!
  • Neal: Tallahassee it is!
  • Emma: Are you sure..? Is this what you really want?
  • Neal: What I really want is you...
  • Emma: I love you...
  • Neal: I love you too.
  • Neal: Tallahassee baby. We're almost home.
  • Emma: Home...
  • August: You love her, good. That means you have to do right by her.
  • Neal: That's what I'm trying to do.
  • August: Then leave her!
  • Neal: Never.
  • Neal: That should have been me! I should be doing that time!
  • August: No. This is good.
  • Neal: How's it good?
  • August: It's a minimum security place in Phoenix,
  • Neal: Okay-
  • August: and no, I am not going to tell you which one. She'll get out of there and she'll be fine. You keep your promise and steer clear, and she can have a good life.She can do what she's supposed to do.
  • Neal: And if I can't be there for her, man, you gotta promise me that you will be.
  • August: I promise.
  • Regina: So what did you enjoy so much about Tallahassee?
  • Emma: So you just told him to leave her?
  • Sean's Father: Well what are they going to do? Raise their child in the backseat of their car?
  • Emma: Some people only have the back seat of their car.
  • Sean's father: Well, they're to be pitied.
  • Neal: Maybe it was fate...
  • Emma: you believe in that?
  • Neal: There's not a ton about my father that doesn't suck. He used to tell me there are no coincidence. Everything that happens, happens by design and there's nothing we can do about it, force is greater than us, conspires to make it happen! The point is...maybe we met for a reason...Maybe something good came from us being together.
  • Emma: I'm over it. And you.
  • Neal: Why do you where the, uh...Keychain, I got you?
  • Gold: You find something dearie?
  • Emma: Nothing. Just a dreamcatcher.
  • Gold: Well if it's nothing then why are you still holding it?
  • Gold: you want a second chance with that man.
  • Emma: What makes you say that?!
  • Gold: The look on your face.
  • Tamara: I see the way you look at her.
  • Neal: No, it's not-it's not like that!
  • Tamara: I think it is.
  • August: Emma and Neal...? They're back together again?
  • Mary Margaret: Uh...no. Actually, he's engaged to someone he met in New York.
  • August: I was hoping...That's my problem, hoping. Hoping that things could still work out...
  • Neal: If there's one thing I know about you, you never stop til you find what you're looking for.
  • Emma: When she said I could trust her, she lied!
  • Mary Margaret: But your superpower has been known to be unreliable. Especially when you're emotional.
  • Emma: For the last time, I don't have feelings for Neal! It was a decade ago, I'm over it!
  • Neal: It kills me that I let August talk me into letting you go!
  • Emma: I don't want to hear it!
  • Neal: Okay, but I have to say it. I wanted to look for you. I just...I was too afraid.
  • Emma: Of what..?
  • Neal: That you wouldn't forgive me...Cause I haven't forgive myself...I'm sorry, Emma. For everything.
  • Emma: Me too...
  • Neal: you'll kill the both of us!
  • Emma: I'm not letting go of you!
  • Neal: you have to!
  • Emma: Neal, you're shot! If you fall through that portal you'll die no matter what world you land in!
  • Neal: I know, but, Emma. Henry needs you. He can't lose both of us and make him grow up like we did!
  • Emma: Please don't let go! I need you! I love you!
  • Neal: I love you too!
  • Neal: Tell Emma I'm alive...and I love her.
  • Neal: It's not working, why isn't it working?!
  • Mulan: Don't think of the place, think of her, of Emma, you feel about her.
  • Emma: I knew the moment I saw him in New York I never...I never stopped loving him.
  • Neal: When you love someone, you don't keep it in. You say it.
  • Emma: I love you, I probably always will. But my secret is... That I was hoping you were dead. Because it would be easier to put you behind me then to face all the pain that we went through all over again.
  • Neal: I've got a secret too, Emma...I'm never gonna stop fighting for you...never.
  • Neal: So, uh, Emma, can we make some time to talk?
  • Emma: Isn't that what we're doing right now?
  • Neal: Yeah, I-I thought maybe just the two of us.
  • Emma: Are you trying to ask me on a date?
  • Neal: You know, when you put it like that-
  • Emma: Neal, I don't know.
  • David: Life is made up of moments good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living.
  • Emma: Well, I seem to be a magnet for the bad ones.
  • David: Well, then all the more reason to look for the good moments in between the bad ones.
  • Emma: And you think having lunch with Neal will be a good moment? I don't know.
  • David: Does he eat with his mouth open?
  • Emma: I'm not sure I'm ready.
  • Emma: Neal...I'm sorry.
  • Neal: Don't be. You gotta get our boy the hell out of here.
  • Emma: And you have to go back there...
  • Neal: Yeah, I do...Hey...This isn't over.
  • I'll see both of you again...
Beach Christmas - Requested (Calum)

NUMBER SEVENTEEN (Can you do a Calum imagine here you don’t have money to go home and celebrate Christmas so Calum takes you to meet his own family and they surprise you with presents and stuff) requested by Anon, ENJOY!!!!

*Merry Christmas!* you send the message to Calum as you wait for the kettle boil, seconds later your phone is ringing, you pick it up to see a FaceTime coming through from Calum. You answer and wait for it to connect, Calum’s face beaming through the phone.

‘Merry Christmas’ he cheers, you chuckle a little 'Hey’ you greet, 'You look beautiful’ he winks, 'Cal I just got out if bed, I haven’t even had a drink’ you laugh, but he just shrugs. 'So what time you coming round?’ He asks, you smile a little, mixing your coffee with your spare hand.

'Yeah, I was thinking Cal, I’m just gonna stay here. I mean you hardly see your family anyways and I don’t want to intrude on your biggest break’ you explain, he is just smiling at you; you nod a little when he doesn’t speak.

'Oh sorry, was that not a joke?’ He fakes and you narrow your eyes. 'Calum’ you whine. 'What? I see you less then I see them and this way I get to see you all at once’ he tells you casually.

'But I’ve only met them once, I don’t want to make their Christmas awkward’ you explain, he frowns and parts his lips as though he is about to say something but you notice his eyes look over the phone, 'Show her’ you hear Mali whisper from off camera. 'Oh’ Calum nods as though just remembering something and you bite down a smirk, he starts walking and you just wait until the camera is turned and you see a pile of present about to someone’s knees.

'They are your from me’ you hear Calum, you frown a little and the camera is brought back to his face, he has a huge smile pulling his lips. 'What? Mine?’ You ask shocked and he nods. 'Nooo, Cal we said no presents’ you whine, he pulls a face before slowly shaking his head. 'Nope don’t remember that, maybe I remember you saying you couldn’t get presents and I said it was fine’ he teases and you narrow your eye. 'Cal I haven’t got you anything’ you pout making him laugh a little his eyes crinkling in the corners.

'And check this out’ the camera is turned again to show five presents, your raise your eyebrows in question before it’s turned back again 'two are from Mel and three from mum and dad’ he tell you, you gasp 'seriously! Oh god Cal I haven’t got them anything. I feel so bad’ you tell him and he shrugs. 'They don’t care and Mel said if you don’t come here we are all coming to you’ you roll your eyes before sighing.

'Fine, you win, when do you want to round?’ You ask and he shrugs 'Aby time is good’ he tells you 'Okay so like two hours?’ You asks, at his jaw drops and eyes widen, 'an hour?’ You question and this time he pulls an unimpressed face. 'When do you want me to come?’ You ask, 'Twenty minutes’ he gives you a cheeky smile. 'Cal it take fifteen to get to yours’ you laugh. 'It’s okay I’m gonna pick you up’ his eyes look off camera again and you can hear hushed voices but not the words. 'Nope, no I won’t because my car if getting fixed, Mel will pick you up’ he nods. You shake your head to decline the offer but Calum talks over you. 'Great see you in ten minutes bye’ and he hangs up. SHIT ten minutes to get dressed and ready to go.

————–

'Oh noooo, do people actually do that on Christmas here?’ You laugh as you follow Mali into the house and she laughs too. 'We sure do, Australians going the beach is like British having snow’ she explains this makes you laugh harder. 'It doesn’t actually snow on Christmas, hasn’t for year’ you I from her, she throws her hands up in defence 'Sorry, and forgot I was talking to a Brit’ she laughs and you nudge her shoulder makings her laugh a little more.

'My two favourite girls getting in so well’ you look up to see Calum’s deep eyes holding yours. 'Oh and here’s my number one’ he cheers, you turn a little to see Joy coming through behind you, she laughs her eyes crinkling like Calum’s do, as she walks to him, he throws his arm over her shoulders. 'Hold up, mum favourite?’ Mali teases, Joy laughs 'I birthed him I have to get some positives from it’ she jokes making you laugh. 'I’m the perfect son and don’t you forget it’ he winks down to his mum.

'Keep dreaming rock star, I’ll always be favourite’ Mel teases his further as she walks past ruffling his hair and she calls 'baby brother’ over et shoulder, You follows her and as soon as they are both out of sight Calum comes forwards takin your waist in his hands and softly pressing his lips to yours. 'I’m glad you came, Christmas wouldn’t have been right knowing you were alone and not with me’ he whispers against your lips.

'I can’t believe they want me here, it’s only been a couple of months’ you remind him, he shrugs 'longer than anyone else, and they love you so better get used to it’ he wink before pressing his lips back to yours, you move first, parting your lips to get him to move and he does, one hand moving to your neck pushing your head closer to his as your lips you with each other. You’re interrupted by a clearing of the throat and pull back to see David standing in the door awkwardly. You give him a small smile.

'Erm, sorry I will leave you to…erm…yep’ he stutters clearly uncomfortable. 'No we’re just about to come’ you tell him, his face brightens as he nods and gushers you into the room where the other two are.

_______________________

‘I can’t believe I’m on the beach on Christmas day, its crazy’ you laugh, Calum chuckles pulling you down so you’re sitting on his chest, while he is sprawled out on a deck chair his dad bought. ‘Welcome to Sydney baby’ he jokes, closing his eyes, ‘Cal I’ve been her months’ you hit his chest lightly. ‘Well you wouldn’t know it from how pale you are, you need to get out more’ he teases, you huff ‘It’s not my fault I’m not beautifully tanned’ you moan, a smirk tugging his lips as he squints to see you, ‘I know I am babe, don’t be jealous’ he laughs, ‘Oh  no I was talking about Mel’ you laugh, he glares at you, poking his finger into your side, you jump up to avoided it but he doesn’t leave it, standing and chasing after your, you squeal as you jump over a sand castle, you reach the water just before Calum and kick it at him, he freezes glaring at you, you gasp covering your mouth, ‘Oh baby, I’m sorry, I got your hair wet’ you tease with a wink and that’s all he needs to jump in after you, his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you back against him, pressing his lips into your shoulder, he leaves a soft kiss and when you realise he isn’t gonna tickle you, you relax into him. ‘I’m glad you came’ he tells you, ‘I’m glad you gave me no choice’ you laugh a little and he does too. You pull out of his arms and walk backwards a little, him watching you, he pouts when he sees you get out of the water.

You run back to where the others, you look over your shoulder to see where Calum is but as you spin to look back but you hit someone full force, flying to the floor, you hear a groan and realised you and Mali where in a bundle, twisted together on the sand, you both groan for a second before looking at each other and falling into fits of laughter. ‘Merry Christmas’ she pushes out through her cries of laughter, you nod taking one of Calum’s outstretched hands as Mali takes the other and he pulls you up at the same time. ‘My two girls will always need me’ he brags winking at you, you roll your eyes as his arm wraps around you holding your waist, Mali standing next to you, David holds out a drink to you, you take it and Mali takes one too, Joy hands Calum one and keeps the other to herself, while David pours himself another, you stand to gather, and Joy smiles at you all, raising her glass in the middle, ‘Merry Christmas’ she cheers, we all cheer too, and Calum presses his lips under your ear and whispers ‘Many more to come’.

From Chelsea