this is so relevant to my life it broke my heart

oh man, rewatching 1x06 today completely broke my heart all over again for dean. :( i mean, it’s only the sixth episode in, and we’re already getting some major insight on his characterization, stuff that’s ended up being just as relevant in the more recent seasons.


SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

SAM: You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?

DEAN: Yeah, whatever.


DEAN: You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just—it’d be easier if—

SAM: If I was like you.

DEAN: Hey, man, like it or not, we are not like other people.


SHAPESHIFTER!DEAN: I swear, the more I learn about you and your family—I thought I came from a bad background.

SAM: What do you mean, learn?

SHAPESHIFTER!DEAN: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother?

SHAPESHIFTER!DEAN: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. 

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER!DEAN: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass.


REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?


REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? 

SHAPESHIFTER!DEAN: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else.

SHAPESHIFTER!DEAN: It’s funny. I kind of understand him. He’s all alone—close to no one. All he wants is for someone to love him. He’s like me. You know, everybody needs a little human touch now and then. It’s so hard to be different.


even though dean obv has both sam and cas, 10 years later, it still seems like dean’s feeling just as alone as he ever did. :((((((